


Blood and Sympathy

by koulakoukoula



Series: Sandy's Canon World of FFVII [1]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, It's All Hojo's (Compilation of FFVII) Fault, Jenova Project (Compilation of FFVII), Original Character(s), Sephiroth's (Compilation of FFVII) Terrible Childhood, Sephiroth's Redemption, Slow Burn, Vincent Valentine Is Sephiroth's Parent, it'slikeveeeeeryslowburn, looootssssofangst, sisteroflucrecia, slooooowwwwburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 106
Words: 310,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koulakoukoula/pseuds/koulakoukoula
Summary: Dr. Jocasta Ernchester and Dr. Lucrecia Crescent grew up together. They studied together. Worked for Shinra together. She has come to loath Shinra for the experiments they make her do to innocent beings.Vincent Valentine was assigned to keep them both safe. Falling in love with Dr. Crescent and having her breaking his heart into thousands of pieces, wasn’t planned. Jocasta had been there for him. The only friend he knew that could understand him. Then things got even more complicated when Hojo didn’t waste his chance to experiment on both.Will they make it? Will they find a way to fight their demons?Will they do it together?(It's legit 70% Angst, and 30% Smut👌)
Relationships: Cid Highwind & Shera, Reno (Compilation of FFVII)/Original Female Character(s), Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII)/Original Female Character(s), Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife, Vincent Valentine/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Sandy's Canon World of FFVII [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027087
Comments: 126
Kudos: 74





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Spotify Playlist: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7dwgSrivYIyQMeW3z1uszM?si=igglDtzpRR6Y0DYzZmdbwQ

The soil was cold. Cold enough to ripple a shiver that coursed through her entire body. Jocasta Ernchester, or that’s what her name used to be, had been wandering the wilderness of Gaia for far too long. She’d lost track of time. Her mind was too occupied in her thoughts, in her nightmares.

She struggled so hard to keep herself from sleep. Exhaustion was the only way out of the nightmares. That demon inside of her kept torturing her mind, feeding on her fear, her thoughts, her pain, her despair. That’s why she couldn’t sleep. The nightmares were too many. That beast they’d forced into her had become a parasite, feeding on her suffering.

It’s been so many years, she’d lost track of time. She didn’t know how long she’d been wandering around the lands and seas of Gaia trying to find a meaning in that wretched life of hers. Maybe she should have just dug her own grave and walked right in hoping that she’d suffocate and die. Or maybe she should just try to stab one of her daggers, right into her heart.

But she knew that the tissue would grow back before her body would get the chance to die out. A feature she’d added on her genome with all these _precious_ experiments of hers. She sighed as she rested her head back on the rock of a cave she’d been using lately as a home.

She’d pretty much lost sense of _home_ a long time ago.

Jocasta couldn’t remember how it _felt_ to have a home. She couldn’t remember feeling anything else except pain and anger and suffering. Jocasta of all people knew that science could be used in the vilest of ways and create the most abominable creatures. She herself had created her own monsters alongside Dr. Hojo, Dr. Lucrecia Crescent, and every other scientist Shinra had hired and funded for them to create superhuman beings.

The discovery of Mako enhanced humans for the SOLDIER program came from Dr. Gast’s team, and when Dr. Gast disappeared, Dr. Hojo led the way. Such a brilliant mind. The thinnest line imaginable parted his brilliance from his insanity. He’d done this to her. He’d been messing around with demons of old Cetra legends. Legends of the Ancients. He’d been trying to fit these demons into humans. Test their limits in any way possible.

He’d fixed her fears, her senses, her weaknesses with the most painful of ways. She couldn’t feel cold, she couldn’t feel warm. She didn’t feel hunger until the beast inside her growled in need of food. She’d let it out and go hunting like the mindless creature that it was.

She opened her eyes and looked by the entrance of the cave. The bright light of the morning sun reflected on her dull grey eyes. She used to have the normal brown color most people do, but after all these experiments, all that unending torture, whatever was natural on her had disappeared. It’d been so long yet it still saddened her whenever she thought of what she’d become. It made her miserable.

Her once pale brown hair had now turned into pitch black. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d given a genuine smile to someone. Anyone. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually felt the need to cry, to laugh.

Jocasta stood on her feet and she grabbed her quiver with the few arrows that were left in it, and her bow. She settled them both on her back and walked out of the cave. She waited for a moment allowing her eyes to adjust to the bright light. She scanned the barren lands outside Midgar. There was nothing but dirt and stones and maybe a little bit of dying greenery scooched beneath the boulders.

She let out another heavy sigh and she started wandering around. She’d roamed these lands a thousand times before. She maybe thought she could get back to the ruins of Nibelheim. She hadn’t been there for a while. She’d heard that the small town she once called _home,_ had been destroyed and buried in ashes. There wouldn’t be anyone there. There would be a few ruins she could settle in for the next few days at least.

The journey was long and tiring. The treacherous terrain tormented her feet. Her pitch-black boots and clothes absorbed the sun’s heat. She pulled her hood, savoring the least touch of shade on her face. The sun was hot, the lands almost drained of life. Not even local creatures dared to walk around unsheltered. Shinra had been sucking up all the Mako they could. The absence of Lifestream turned normal creatures into monsters.

These transformations were both normal and abnormal. The entire point of life is to take all means necessary so that the hereditary information can be passed into the future offspring. And by _any means necessary_ it means _survival._ All life on Gaia was once fully dependent on the Lifestream, but _now…_ now there was _no_ spare Lifestream for the creatures in need. So, their organisms had to figure out ways to survive without it.

And that’s where _transformation_ comes. Multiple mutations take place in the genome. Some malignant, some others benevolent that promised survival. And that’s how monsters showed up around the planet. Naturally, these kinds of mutations take hundreds of years to take place. Jocasta couldn’t understand how such changes happened so _drastically._ If she was still the woman she once was, as a scientist, she’d feel that spark of excitement every time she’d experiment, test, find something.

She would still have that _thirst_ for answers. Discoveries. But it was all gone. Along with her humanity, herself, her friends, whatever family the people around her she acknowledged to be. Time passed so painfully slow, yet so inconceivably fast. She tried so hard to forget. So hard to cast aside these painful memories.

Jocasta grabbed the pouch she had hanging from her belt. It was disappointingly light, letting her know that there was no water left in it. Her throat felt dry, it stung and burned in the harshest of ways. She tried to pour whatever was left of her water into her mouth, but nothing but a few droplets came out. Her dry tongue savored these few droplets, nevertheless. _Shit._ She cursed under her breath as she kept walking in the endless deserted lands that spread as far as the eye could go. It felt like the entire planet had become one huge wasteland. Judging from that, it seemed that the plants hadn’t figured out similar ways to survive the absence of Lifestream, contradicting to what happened with the animals. 

Her vision got blurry for just a moment. It didn’t matter much anyway. Jocasta threw a hand over a nearby boulder in an attempt to keep herself standing. She sucked a deep, painful breath. Her gaze dropped on the dirt she stood on. Even the soil itself _screamed_ in need of water. The cracks _screamed_ in need of life. She fell on her knees. Maybe she just wanted to pass out right then and there, in the middle of nowhere, and hopefully wait for carnivore birds to consume her body to the bone.

But with tissue consistently self-healing itself, probably because the _demon_ inside her _wanted_ to live, that would be another never-ending torment and she had enough of them already.

Jocasta felt her back hitting sharp stones as she fell down. Her feet refused to keep her standing. The sun met her face and blinded her vision. Her eyes stung and she shut them closed. She could only hear the slow rhythm of her heavy breathing. Her fingers, that were tightened around handfuls of dirt, finally relaxed the grip as she slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

For a moment she smiled. _This is it._ She thought. She hoped that when she’d open her eyes, it would be her soul sucked into the Lifestream. Back in the heart of the planet where everybody belonged. Where everybody came from and where everybody went after death. After sweet, sweet rest. _Peaceful_ rest.

_Yes._ That’s what she needed. A peaceful rest. Her smile faded as she lost all senses, but still had hope. _Hope._

It was ironic of how much _death_ could resemble _hope._ Maybe that was because death was a door, and that door led the way out of a hell house. A treacherous place _you’re_ thrown in without your consent. Without anybody asking if you actually wanna be there. That ‘hell house’ _is_ _Life._ Life was supposed to resemble hope. But from what she’d seen in her own _life,_ it had anything but hope in it. Anything but happiness, and nothing but pain.

Maybe from _top to toe_ , her story wasn’t a mere miserable container of pain. Maybe it had happiness, excitement, belonging, even love. But for the past years, at least, it was suffering that all she’s known.

And with these last desperate, depressing thoughts, Jocasta felt herself slipping away. Losing all consciousness, and hoping she’d never wake up.


	2. Tales From the Past

**30 Years Prior**

It was simply _brilliant_. The cells divided and multiplied into millions in just mere seconds. The test subject was a small rat. The lancet kept slicing on its skin which was being repaired on its own as if some force kept applying glue over it.

 _Of course,_ it was no glue. It was skin secreting some sort of essence that urged the damaged cells around the wound to start multiplying faster than anything she’d ever seen. Her pink lips curved into a smile. Her eyes excitedly observed behind her glasses.

She carefully took a sample of that essence and she set off immediately to examine it on the electric microscope she had on her bench. Jocasta heard a knock on the door of her little lab. She didn’t really have a room. She’d traded her bed away for a bench and a microscope. Along with a few other tools. Fluorescent dyes, lancets, imaging machines, and _lots_ of _lots of medical science books._

A handkerchief rested to the side that she used constantly to clean the lenses of her glasses. She hadn’t realized how many times a day she kept doing that. It was a habit that helped her keep her mind focused on the task at hand. Scrubbing again and again whatever dirt laid on the lenses. She couldn’t work if they weren’t crystal clear.

The knock on her door repeated its rhythm for the second time. Jocasta hadn’t realized that she hadn’t answered the first. It was weird of how easily she was getting absorbed into her work.

“Come in,” She called out. She placed the sample of the peculiar essence between two slide cover-slippers, before she placed them on the microscope and she started examining it. Its light reflected perfectly on her doe-brown eyes that stared behind her glasses.

Whoever it was, walked in. Jocasta took a look from the corner of her eye and she saw a familiar form. _Of course._

“Dr. Ernchester,” she heard that deep voice of the not-much-older Turk that was supposed to look after her and Lucrecia.

“How may I help, Vincent?” Jocasta asked, never once taking her gaze from the microscope.

“You’re requested for an urgent heart surgery in Midgar’s Sector 4 Upper Level’s Hospital,” The Turk said.

Jocasta sighed in exasperation “What’s with people having heart attacks every time I’m about to discover something?” she asked, but it was mostly like a rhetorical question. She made lots of them to herself every so often.

Vincent parted his lips in a small awkward attempt to answer the question “Uhh…”

Jocasta closed the microscope and she got up. She took off her glasses and she let them hung from their rope that was always wrapped around her neck. Her black skirt reached right below her knees. A white lab coat rested on top of her white shirt. A pocket rested on the left side of the coat where she always had a blue pen fitted in.

Vincent Valentine’s eyes shyly found hers. They always had that magnificent crimson color in them that she’d never get tired staring at. His pitch-black hair fell both messily and tidily on his face. His black formal attire gave out his profession. He was young but a Turk with a great reputation amongst Shinra’s Investigation of General Affairs Department. He was doing his job strictly professional. All Turks did.

“A helicopter’s waiting for you,” He added “Shall we get going?”

“Alright,” She nodded. She took off her plastic blue gloves and tossed them over her table. The Turk waited for her to exit the room first before he followed behind.

It was Saturday morning. Lucrecia saw them walking outside the house. Lucrecia’s parents had adopted her. They grew up like sisters, and they’d been together ever since. Of course, Vincent must have filled her in with the urgency of the situation. Dr. Crescent had taken a break from the lab for the weekend and she was sitting by the couch reading another book concerned on the Cetra Civilization. Ever since Shinra excavated that 2000-year-old lifeform, Dr. Gast’s team, part of which were Jocasta and Lucrecia, had been leading an investigation on it. Dr. Faremis had a strong hunch that the lifeform was actually a Cetra.

Alas, Dr. Jocasta Ernchester doubted that. That creature did not look _human._ Not to mention that its genetic material matched neither the human nor the Cetra genome. 

Even though it was a wonderful Saturday morning, _duty always calls when you’re_ an esteemed Heart Surgeon, even though, Jocasta hadn’t limited her knowledge in her profession. She kept studying so many subjects concerning medical sciences. Genetics and Biochemistry were her next favorites, and because she was so good at them, Shinra promoted her to a Class A Scientist in their Biochemistry Department for her to study the new lifeform they’d just recovered.

“Good luck, Joe!” Lucrecia called out before Vincent closed the door behind them.

“Thanks, Lucy. See ya later,” Jocasta said giving her friend a smile before walking outside.

Vincent Valentine escorted her all the way to the helicopter that had landed outside their house in the endless fields that surrounded it. A bunch of other Turks were in the helicopter ready to fly her back to Midgar. She recognized one of them, it was Veld. Jocasta turned at the Turk.

“So, you’re staying behind?” She asked Vincent.

“Somebody’s gotta look after Dr. Crescent,” Vincent said, in his formal, emotion-reduced, voice.

“Ah, yes, right,”

Only an idiot wouldn’t have already noticed that there was something between them. Picnics by the house, time spent during day-offs. Hand-holding, and shy kisses behind closed doors. Of course, Vincent and Lucrecia did a pretty good job of hiding it from her. But Jocasta was smarter than that. She could smell the idiotic stench of sappiness from miles away. Jocasta had her own fair share of _love._ It’s beautiful at the start. It gets you excited, and overflown with emotions that you can’t control. Love is a lie and lies are beautiful. People always choose to look in the deceitful beauty than to embrace the terrible, ugly truth.

“See you later, then, Vince,” Jocasta said giving him a fake salute.

He frowned “Vincent,” he corrected her.

Jocasta laughed “Won’t let me tease you a bit, will you?” she asked with a bright smile on her face. She loved seeing that irritated frown on his face. She didn’t know why, she just… _what a dork._

The helices kept spinning around making a mess of the air and a mess of her hair. She’d done her best to keep them stubborn forelocks back, but they were short. Short hair had become her style ever since she realized that she shed lesser, and it was easier to wash them and get them sorted out this way. She remembered the difficulty of brushing long and long strands of hair and having half of it stuck on the brush’s bristles. 

She grabbed a hand that a Turk offered and pulled her up on the helicopter. She climbed on her seat, put on the headphones they handed over to her, and the helicopter took off.

Jocasta thought that maybe the operation was gonna be over by _maybe_ afternoon. But _nope,_ lots of people urgently showed up with clogged arteries, arrhythmias, blood vessel diseases, and whatever else Jocasta had learned dealing with. Of course, there were a lot of Heart Surgeons that the hospital employed, but Jocasta had built a reputation on her name. She’d never miss a chance to somehow help people, unlike what her fellow scientists did in Shinra’s laboratories, where the test subjects were actual humans.

She never agreed to that. Of course, it helped them proceed faster and make more solid discoveries, but… _people? Actual people?_ It hurt her watching them suffer, but alas, none of the other scientists shared the feeling. All they cared about was their experiments and their discoveries and the fame and praise that was bound to follow. _Who knew torturing people would be something to be praised about?_

Jocasta felt a few more droplets of sweat running down her forehead as she finished yet another surgery. “Let’s close him up, shall we,” she said to her assistants, nurses, and practitioners. They all wore the blue sterilized outfit they should wear during surgery. Jocasta took a look at the clock that hung on the wall on the other side of the room and she realized it was 23:48.

She sighed. Maybe that was why she felt so tired. Thankfully, that was the last operation for the day. Once she finished, a helicopter was waiting on the roof of the hospital to take her back to Nibelheim.

There was no doubt that the exhaustion came from a mixture of adrenaline, and stress every time a human life depended on her hands. It wasn’t the kind of weakness she’d let out when her assistants were around. _Of course, not._

Jocasta left her head rest back on her seat in the helicopter. No matter how loud the noise of the helices was, even though she was wearing the headphones, listening to the Turks’ little chat, she couldn’t hear any of it as another wave of exhaustion washed over her. Her eyes stared at Midgar that spread below them, and eventually on the endless deserted valleys as they approached Nibelheim.

Once the helicopter landed right outside hers and Lucrecia’s house, Vincent was already outside ready to escort Jocasta safely in the house. She climbed off the helicopter. She clearly looked tired, her short hair was a beautiful mess as a few forelocks fell uncontrollably on her face, especially when the helicopter started flying away.

“How’s your day been, Vince?” Jocasta said as she took off her low black heels and walked towards the house with her bare feet. She let out a sigh of relief as she released her feet from the tightness of heeled shoes. The soft grass felt like a soothing pillow beneath her tortured feet as she walked towards the front door with the silent Turk following from behind.

“Fine. Yours?” He asked, his hands wrapped behind his back.

“Exhausting,” She answered as she covered a yawn that reached her throat and she, finally, entered the house. The lights were on, there was silence, as usual. She turned at Vincent “Where’s Lucy?”

“Sleeping,”

“Ah, nice. It’s about time I did that too,”

Well, she didn’t, really. The moment she entered her homemade little lab, she remembered what she was after before she left. It was hard to sleep when all she needed now was answers. A few hours later when Vincent was making the last night shift, after making sure everything was fine, he cracked the door open only to see her having passed out on her table, next to a messy group of notes.

The pen stood trapped between her fingers, her glasses pressed between her head and her hand on which she slept on. Her hair was another short mess as some of them fell on her face. Vincent sighed as he gently picked her up from her chair and proceeded to place her on a nearby small couch. He never thought it was a wise decision to give away her bed and place the table on the same spot instead. Thankfully, she did have a small, yet comfortable couch.

It was hard to understand what weird thoughts were going on in her mind. Everybody thought she was brilliant, though, and he’d never doubt it. Vincent placed her gently on the couch and threw on top of her a blanket she had nearby. She looked so beautiful and peaceful in her sleep. But he knew that _for now_ his heart belonged to only one woman, and that was Dr. Lucrecia Crescent.

But he didn’t know how much more complicated things were going to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	3. The Nightmare Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter: 'The Nightmare Begins' by Nobuo Uematsu from FFVII OST

Dr. Ernchester wasn’t one to get distracted off her work. Dr. Gast and Dr. Hojo had left the basement lab a few hours ago, and as far as she knew, Jocasta was the only one in the lab. Lucy hadn’t left yet so she assumed she probably was in the room next to the lab with Vincent. But she heard shouting.

Jocasta let go of the samples, the tools, the microscope, and she jumped off her seat. It didn’t sound like a normal fight two people would have. Especially two people in love. _But what do I know?_ These were undoubtedly Lucrecia’s and Vincent’s voices that came from the other room. Jocasta knew she should just focus on her business. Her job. She wasn’t one to gossip. But it sounded serious. Maybe she could stop both before they did something they’d regret. _Anything_.

Jocasta got up and took off her glasses, letting them hung from her neck. She rubbed a hand over her eyes and her forehead. Maybe she did need a break. Her eyes stung, and a headache gathered on her forehead. She sighed and she walked out of the lab and approached the door that led to the room where all the shouting came from.

She crossed her hands against her chest as she stood outside and tried to catch a bit of the conversation. Maybe she shouldn’t intrude.

“I killed him! I killed Grimoire… your father…”

Then a huge series of sobs followed. Jocasta cracked the door open but made sure they didn’t notice. She saw Vincent’s hands tightly wrapped around Lucrecia as she wept on his chest. Her fingers tightly clutched on his shirt as if she was trying to either push him away or hold on to him as if he was going to disappear. Her features turned into a wrinkle of pain as numerous tears soaked her cheeks and Vincent’s black jacket.

Vincent, on the other hand, seemed more confused than angry, or even sad. He was never much close to his father. Grimoire Valentine helped so much Lucrecia with her thesis on some old Cetra legends that referred to demons created by the planet itself. It did sound ridiculous, especially for a _scientist_. All that scientists do is observe and examine stuff that can be seen and touched and examined.

But _demons?_ Seriously? There was a time that Jocasta too thought of Lucrecia’s thesis to be ridiculous. Alas, Grimoire Valentine proved otherwise. They’d found one of these demons, _Chaos_ , and on her excitement, Lucrecia didn’t even consider taking any safety measures when she started experimenting on it. The explosion killed Grimoire and Lucrecia had been drowning in guilt ever since.

And _now_ finally Lucrecia decided to share that guilt to her _beloved_ Vincent Valentine. A story of how she killed his father. Of course, the story didn’t sound like she’d done this purposely. It was an accident, but it was an accident that could’ve been prevented.

Nevertheless, Vincent loved her with all his heart and it was pretty obvious ever since these two started dating. He wasn’t gonna hold a grudge against her for it. He wasn’t even gonna get mad. All he tried to do was console her, be there for her, show understanding.

“It wasn’t your fault! Lucrecia, please, look at me!”

One hand reached for her face. He cupped her cheek in an attempt to make her look up at him.

“It was an accident. Just an accident, you didn’t kill him,”

“But I did! I could’ve prevented it! I could’ve… I could’ve…”

Then she lost her words as a bunch of sobs gathered up her throat and she wept against his shoulder.

“How can you still love me after what I’ve… Vincent… I’m so sorry…”

_“I’m so sorry,”_

Jocasta sighed and returned back to her lab. She knew this moment would come. Sooner or later, Lucrecia would have to tell him. She felt bad for them. Jocasta hoped they could just work this out, have a long conversation, and see them come back home as if nothing had happened. But she knew Lucrecia, and therefore she knew that _that_ wasn’t gonna be the case.

Jocasta grabbed her stuff and exited the Shinra Manor. She made her way back to the house through the small streets of Nibelheim. She wasn’t in the mood to work overtime. Maybe she should just let it go and mind her own business. This was exclusively a matter between the two. But she knew what Lucrecia was capable of. She knew that she’d also grown a liking for Dr. Hojo.

_“It’s me or the Turk. Make your choice, dear,”_

She’d heard Hojo saying that to Lucrecia once. As a friend, Jocasta thought maybe she should try to kick some sense into Lucrecia’s mind before she did anything stupid that she was going to regret.

Jocasta walked back to their house, her hands wrapped around her waist, her gaze mostly focused on her footsteps. She sighed. She knew this kind of fights. She did have her own fights, with her own _beloved_ once upon a long, long time ago. _Well,_ it wasn’t more than a few years ago, but it did feel like forever.

But it wasn’t arguing that parted them. There was another member in the team that studied the JENOVA Project. Dr. Tedric Philips another Class A Geneticist of Shinra’s. Her beloved _fiancé_ that introduced her to the wonders of Genetics. An explosive accident in the lab took his life and Jocasta did all she could to forget. To let go. She had never even gotten to say goodbye. Not even the chance to hold him once last time.

It’s painful to think of how a moment spent with someone can be the very last without neither of both knowing it. It didn’t matter anymore, though. She’d lost him, just like she’d lost her parents a long, long time ago. _Now_ her work was more important than anything else. She wanted nothing than to drown in it. The more she kept herself focused on it, the better. She kept her thoughts at bay and her mind never strayed to what she’d lost. _Never think_ of the bittersweet memories she’d spent with him just before he died.

Jocasta grabbed another book on Genetics and she sat by her couch, scribbling notes, and reading. She wouldn’t dare to let her mind spend too much time on such thoughts. She was going to study that book until the sun hid beneath the mountains of the horizon. At some point she heard the engine of Vincent’s car as he parked it outside the house.

She lifted her gaze off her book for just a moment when she heard the front door open and footsteps following. She recognized the familiar thuds on the floor and she focused her gaze back on her book. Should she ask? Should she try to sit them both down and maybe solve the problem? Perhaps she should. Lucrecia knew that after what happened, Jocasta would never approve of _any_ kind of relationship. She didn’t want such stuff anymore. She just didn’t. It was as simple as that.

It still wasn’t the kind of subject that she would sit down and talk about and even try to convince somebody to embrace _love,_ something she’d completely shot out of her life. Jocasta sighed. Maybe she didn’t have the idiotic _happy ending_ everybody was after, but that didn’t mean that Vincent and Lucrecia shouldn’t have that. They _deserved_ that.

She got up and walked towards the living room. She found Lucrecia sitting by the couch, a handkerchief in her hands, and Vincent stared blankly outside the window of the living room. Both, obviously, tried so hard to avoid each other. It felt like their fight held longer than she expected. None of both turned to look at her or talk to her.

Jocasta didn’t expect them to anyway. She grabbed two glasses with ice and filled them with whiskey. She knew none of both loved alcohol as much as she did, but the situation did call for a drink.

“Thank you,” Lucrecia said as she grabbed the glass and she chugged the alcohol down her throat.

“Whoah, take it easy. You’re not as accustomed to alcohol as I am, Lucy,” Jocasta said as she handed the other glass to Vincent who gave an almost grateful nod and took a sip.

“Shut up, Joe,” Lucrecia said with a trembling voice before she wiped another tear that ran down her cheek.

Jocasta sighed and sat beside her on the couch. She pulled Lucrecia in a hug. Lucrecia wept on her shirt and clutched on her friend as Jocasta passed a hand around her shoulders and caressed her back.

Vincent turned and sighed at the sight of her “I hate watching you being like this,”

Lucrecia sniffled “I know, I’m sorry,”

“Stop saying that!” Vincent snapped.

Jocasta had never seen him so angry. He sure wasn’t one to show any feelings at all. But _right now,_ the guy was a timebomb about to explode. That sure didn’t help Lucrecia to stop crying and wetting Jocasta’s shirt.

Jocasta sighed “I’m probably the most inappropriate person to say that but… you guys are not approaching the matter correctly,” she said calmly.

“Then enlighten us-!” Vincent cried out. He was obviously _done._ Jocasta cut him.

“Vincent! This attitude does _not_ help the situation!”

Vincent took a deep breath to calm down his nerves “I know, you’re right, I’m sorry. But Jocasta, I accepted her apology,” Vincent said “And it certainly doesn’t sound like it was her fault,”

“It was my fault!” Lucrecia raised her head “Vincent, how are we supposed to keep this relationship going, if you know that I killed your father?” she walked towards Vincent. He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek wiping a tear away.

“It was an accident,”

“But I could’ve-”

“Lucy, whatever happened in the past cannot be changed. We all make mistakes, we all have flaws, we all do stuff that we regret,” Jocasta said as she woke up and approached the other two. She crossed her hands against her chest and she let out another sigh “You two have found your happiness in each other. Don’t let it go. Not like I did,”

The other two fell silent. Finally, Lucrecia stopped crying and nuzzled in Vincent’s arms as he wrapped them around her. He caressed her hair as he watched Jocasta leaving the room and locking herself in her own. Talking about her long-gone fiancé was a bad idea. The worst she’d made lately.

Jocasta sat on her office and she looked at his picture in the frame she had on the desk. She rested her head on her hand and tried her best not to cry. She wasn’t a crybaby. She was anything but a vulnerable little woman that needed her man to hold her hand in every sensitive occasion.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she furiously wiped it away before it reached her chin. That’s why she didn’t want to talk about that stuff. That’s why she _hated_ love ‘cause _love_ hurt and it hurt in the vilest of ways. It felt like a dagger mercilessly slicing the heart in endless pieces.

_Yup… that’s what love is._


	4. Change

**2 Months Later**

He’s been so miserable ever since _it_ happened. _Yes,_ Jocasta’s worst fears had been realized, and it all happened so fast. Well, being consumed in her work most of the time, of course, it was difficult to notice that two months passing. After all these long midnight conversations on how bad _the decision_ was, nothing could change Lucrecia’s mind.

It’s only been a week since Lucrecia’s and Hojo’s wedding. Now she was living with him in the Shinra Manor, and Jocasta with Vincent lived back in their house. Jocasta had the headphones and the music loud in her ears. She loved the shouting and the loud noises of early rock music. The louder it was, the easier she kept her thoughts at bay.

She’d reached out to an old friend of hers back in Midgar, and he’d send her these new headphones and a device. Jocasta had to admit, she wasn’t very much familiar with electrical devices -other than the ones she used in the lab- but she was more than grateful they existed. She kept scribbling down notes in her notebook as she underlined another sentence she found interesting in the book she was reading.

It had been another afternoon after another tiring day in the lab. She kept her distance away from Hojo and Lucrecia. Jocasta couldn’t recognize Lucrecia anymore. She wasn’t the same woman she’d grown up with. But, if she was to be honest to herself, she didn’t care. It was Lucrecia’s choices that brought her there, and apparently, she was happy.

Vincent hadn’t even tried to object. Lucrecia was happy, and that felt enough. But didn’t help the fact that he _wasn’t_ happy without her.

Jocasta found herself looking outside the window. She saw the reflection of the door behind her opening the tiniest bit and Vincent standing behind it. Vincent kept checking on her every now and then, making sure she was safe. That was basically his job.

Lucrecia didn’t need protection anymore. The Shinra Manor was filled with infantrymen and Shinra’s Security Officers. It was a fortress.

“Vincent!” Jocasta said hurriedly as she took off the headphones, rested them on the table and she turned to look at him. Her mind loudly _screamed_ at her that what she was gonna suggest _extreme_ for both hers and Vincent’s extremely antisocial characters. Vincent opened the door again and walked in.

“Yes?”

She remembered that’s what she’d been staring at the past few minutes out the window. The familiar lights that came from the Spring Festival that took place every year.

“Let’s go,” Jocasta said as she got up and took off her glasses.

“Go where?” Vincent asked.

“The Spring Festival. Surely, you’ve noticed the tables and lights spread all around the market, right-?”

“Yeah, but why should we go now?” Vincent asked. He was definitely not in the mood for it. He’d been miserable the past few months. Jocasta just wanted to light up his mood. Maybe for just a little.

“Because you’re 27, I’m 26 and we aren’t acting like it. Besides, we both need some air,” Jocasta said as she took off her lab coat and she grabbed her black jacket that hung from the nearby coat stand and put it on.

“But-” Vincent tried to object, but he stopped himself and sighed. He rubbed his forehead. _Maybe she’s right._

“I can’t be wrong about that. You know I’ve read psychology books,” Jocasta said as she put on her shoes. She saw Vincent taking a look at the small bookcase she had in her room.

“I do now,” he said.

She chuckled “C’mon,” she grabbed his hand and started dragging him out of the room and eventually out of the house.

“W- wait! The car keys!”

“No need, it ain’t that far anyway,”

Vincent frowned. And that frown remained up there all the way to the Festival. They walked in silence. The night clear sky spread above them with billions of stars and a half-moon standing in the middle of it all. The street lights illuminated the darkest corners of the small town’s streets. Most people were gathered in the Festival so for the most part, Nibelheim was empty.

Jocasta took a deep breath, filling her nostrils with the scent of blooming flowers and herbs of the countryside. She loved the fact that Nibelheim was small and surrounded by mountains and greenery, unlike Midgar, where she spent most of her childhood.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She asked as they walked in the silent streets.

“Huh?”

“This place. Silent. Peaceful. Cold, but the soothing kinda cold,” She said as she felt the breeze caressing her face. It wasn’t cold enough to penetrate her jacket. It was just perfect.

“Hm,” Vincent just nodded.

He was so silent. So miserable. Too silent. And too much silence led to thinking. Endless thinking of stuff that _hurt_ and _break you._ Both of them, actually. Jocasta elbowed him playfully and he shot her a look that said _leave me alone_ and then looked away from her again.

Jocasta sighed “I know you love her-”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he cut her.

She nodded in understanding “Right,” she completely understood what he was going through. She had her own experience.

They walked a bit further down the street, until they reached the market. Tables were spread alongside both sides of the road. Villagers passed around the tables, either playing the festival games or buying stuff that were offered. There were families with their little ones, and couples, and friends hanging around. There was this buzz of endless chatting in the crowd of people, but it wasn’t annoying.

“So, are you gonna buy something, and then we’re gonna leave or you’re just here to stare?” Vincent’s voice came from beside as they kept walking between the festival tables.

“The latter. _We’re_ here to take a walk and some fresh air. Or even talk. I’m all ears if you wanna talk about what’s bothering you,” Jocasta said.

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it,” Vincent repeated dryly.

“I know it hurts, Vince,” Jocasta said before her face lit up “Aha! That’s what we need. Ice cream. Cold helps with depression, don’t you think?”

“I’m not-!”

“Let me see…” Jocasta cut him as she stepped in front of him and used her fingers to count “…‘People struggling with depression often encounter symptoms like loss of appetite, loss of interest in any activity, feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, increased irritability, etc.’ Timothy Jones’s book page 437, if I’m correct,”

Vincent groaned and shook his head walking past her “I’m not depressed,” he repeated stubbornly. 

“Really?” Jocasta asked incredulously and stared at him walking away before she hurried in front of him to stop him “Alright then, prove it to me and eat that ice cream I’m about to buy you,”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers “Fine. I’m gonna buy,” he said and he attempted to grab his wallet from the pocket of his jacket.

She touched his hand stopping him “Hey, I’m making the experiment here. I’m buying,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“On the roof? Are you crazy?”

She heard Vincent’s voice come from below as she made her way up the ladder. Surely, it’d be the worst idea to sit on an old house’s roof wearing a skirt and, no matter how low, heels.

“Oh c’mon, it’s gonna be nice up there, you’ll like it. Besides, no one’s lived in this house for decades,” Jocasta said as she watched him make his way to the roof from the same old rusty ladder attached to the house’s side. A cone of chocolate ice cream was carefully held in his one hand.

“That’s why it’s a bad idea. The roof might go off,” Vincent said, with that frown on his face as the two of them settled on the roof tiles of a house that stared right down at the festival.

“Oh relax, I’ve jumped over falling roofs before,” Jocasta said as she took a slurp from her vanilla ice cream and she stared down at the festival grounds.

“What? Really?” Vincent asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah well… after my parents died I kinda… preferred the streets over an orphanage. Well, that until Lucy’s parents decided to adopt me,” Jocasta said.

“I’m sorry,” he said, almost sadly.

“It’s alright. I mean, it’s been such a long time,” Jocasta said. She grinned “I don’t see you eating that ice cream, Mr. Valentine,” she said teasingly.

He sighed and took a bite.

She took a slurp from hers and they stayed silent for just the next few minutes. It was indeed much quieter on the roof of the old house. It was far, yet close to the festival. The lights from below them didn’t reach above the roof, so they weren’t as blinding as before. The moon shined brightly above them and the stars surely aided its effort to light up the clear night sky.

Vincent found himself almost agreeing to her crazy idea of eating that _damned_ ice cream on the roof of an old house. He wouldn’t admit he actually almost enjoyed it being there, with her. She’d mentioned before that _he_ and _Lucrecia_ shouldn’t _throw away their happiness ‘Just like I did’._ For a moment he opened his mouth to ask her about that, but she spoke first.

“So, Vincent, how did you end up being assigned this job anyway?” Jocasta asked.

“Uh…” he was sure he didn’t expect that kind of question “…well one scientist from Dr. Gast's team died in an explosion two years ago. You must’ve known him, Dr. Ted-”

“Tedric Phillips. Yes, I knew him,” She cut him. Her voice sounded less cheerful that it’d been all afternoon. “It was an experiment that went off in the lab,”

“Hm,” He nodded, noticing that she’d actually stopped eating her ice cream and just stared at the festival below them, almost lost in thought.

“Excuse my asking but… was he… your boyfriend?”

“My fiancé, actually,” she let out a bitter chuckle. She was teasing Vincent for his heartbreak and having depression while she herself was in the very same state. Even worse, her own _heartbreak_ happened two years ago. His was only a few months old “I’m such a hypocrite. I’m sorry for dragging you out here, Vincent,” she said apologetically. Her hazel eyes met his “You’d probably wanna head back home,”

“No, it’s okay,” Vincent said. _I can’t believe I’m saying this but_ “You were right. We did need some air. Some time away from… all this,” he admitted.

She smiled up at him before she realized that a drop of melted ice cream had fallen on her black skirt “Oh shit!” she cursed under her breath before she immediately tried to grab a handkerchief from her jacket’s pockets. She certainly hoped she had one. She let out another curse when she realized that she didn’t.

She turned at Vincent “Hey, Vince, do you happen to-” but she stopped midsentence when she noticed him already handing her his. She grabbed it gratefully “Oh God, thanks. You know that’s the only thing I literally hate about ice cream. You gotta eat it fast or else you make a mess,”

“Indeed,” he agreed as he watched her clumsily wiping away that drop of melted ice cream off her skirt.

“Thanks, Vince. I’ll clean this up for you. Just remind me when we get home,” she said as she handed him his handkerchief back.

“No, it’s okay. You bought me ice cream. We’re even,” Vincent said, with almost a smile.

She hadn’t seen him smile in the last few months. It felt nice to see that he was having fun. Even though it wasn't a lot. But it was something. Jocasta turned her attention back at the sky that spread above them and she smiled.

“I’m glad I could spend that afternoon with you, Vincent,”

“Me too, Jocasta,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Lemme know what you think!


	5. Friends

“Vincent!”

That sounded alarming. Jocasta had never shouted his name like that. Vincent stopped cleaning his gun and instead he grabbed it tightly and he hurried worriedly towards her room. He busted in her room, his gun tightly in his arms as he proceeded to blow an intruder’s head. He lowered his target as he realized there was no intruder in the room. No obvious enemy that threatened to kidnap her or harm her as he’d assumed.

Except, he saw Jocasta having climbed on her chair so frightened, he’d never seen her like that before.

“W- What are you doing with the gun?! You’re gonna shoot it to death?!” Jocasta asked, her frightened gaze pinned over her couch.

“I- I thought that you were being-”

“I’m not being kidnapped! Something far worse has happened!” Jocasta cried out alarmingly “There’s a cockroach! In my room! A cockroach!”

Vincent let out a sigh of relief and he rolled his eyes. He placed the gun back in its case on his back “Where is it?”

“Behind my couch! Oh gosh, please save my couch, Vincent!” Jocasta cried out in panic.

Vincent just shook his head and he exited the room “I’m gonna go grab the broom. You stay where you are,”

“Wait! Don’t leave me alone in a room with a cockroach!” Jocasta cried out as she jumped off the chair in a huge leap of faith, and she hurriedly followed him out of the room.

“I can’t believe you’re okay with opening up people’s chests and you’re not okay with a cockroach,” Vincent said as he got back in her room with the broom as she waited outside.

“You’ve no idea how much infectious these little organisms can be!”

A loud bang came from her room and Jocasta assumed he’d captured the cockroach. She let out a sigh of relief but jumped out of his way when she saw him dragging it outside the house with the broom.

When, thankfully, Vincent dealt with the cockroach incident, Jocasta hesitantly walked in the living room, where he was sitting taking care of his gear. She crossed her hands against her chest.

“I really gotta thank you for… dealing with that,” Jocasta said.

He gave her a nod and then he got his attention back to cleaning up his guns and counting the remaining bullets that were stuffed in them. He hadn’t used any of it ever since he was assigned to keep an eye on both scientists, but still taking care of it had become a habit ever since he joined to become a Turk.

“How about I cook some dinner?” Jocasta asked.

He gave her a stare “You… cook?”

As long as he’d been there, Lucrecia would take care of that, and when she was too wrapped in her work, they’d order something from the local restaurants. Jocasta spent most of the time outside the house, working in both hospitals and in the Shinra Manor on the JENOVA Project. She’d never actually offered to cook.

Jocasta shot him a glare “I know how to cook!” she protested “Provided, no one’s having a heart attack today, that is,”

Vincent sighed and turned his attention back to cleaning up his gun “You don’t have to,”

“But I do! I mean… you saved me from a cockroach!”

“Wow, what a threat,”

She arched an eyebrow “Was that sarcasm, Mr. Valentine?”

He just smiled. _No,_ it looked more like a smirk. He was definitely being sarcastic. Jocasta let out a hum as she made her way to the kitchen and started searching the shelves to see if there actually something in them. Honestly, Lucrecia had all the control over the kitchen. Jocasta never had the time to even make sure they had the basic groceries every home was supposed to have.

But they did have coffee and lots of tea. _That’s something._

She stumbled across a few packs of pasta that thankfully hadn’t expired yet. She nodded letting out another hum and then she checked over the fridge. Before she was able to finish noting in her mind what they lacked of groceries, she turned her attention at Vincent who was standing by the entrance of the kitchen. He held her phone in his hand lending it over to her.

“Dr. Esternis requesting to speak with you,”

Jocasta let out a sigh. Dr. Esternis was the executive manager of the Midgar Sector 2 Upper Level’s hospital. She just hoped they didn’t have another case that she’d have to take care of.

She grabbed the phone pressed it against her ear “Dr. Esternis, what a pleasant surprise. How may I be of service?”

Vincent crossed his hands and he rested on one side of the wall, legs crossed as he waited for her to finish the phone call. He honestly thought that she couldn’t cook, ‘cause ever since he’d been there she hadn’t. He couldn’t blame her though. So many people requested her assistance, not just in Midgar, but in many other cities and villages around it.

“…what are the symptoms…? Uh-huh…”

He noticed her walking in circle as she spoke, her fingers of the free hand messed with her sleeve. It was probably nervousness or a gesture that helped her concentrate. He’d noticed her doing that before. Maybe she was trying to think as she started spelling out numerous weird names of medicines and chemicals.

“…and what were the results…? Within expectations. I see. Alright. Arrange an appointment with the patient… Yeah, tomorrow morning’s fine… alright, I’ll be there,” Jocasta ended the phone call and she let out a sigh. “Tomorrow at 8, would you mind dropping me by Midgar Sector 2 Upper Level’s Hospital?”

Vincent nodded and he took out his own PHS and started typing “I’ll arrange a helicopter,”

“Thanks, but for now…” Jocasta said before she turned her attention back on the task at hand “I might need to do some grocery shopping,”

“You think?” Vincent asked sarcastically as he waited for the Turks on the other line to pick it up.

She shot him a glare “Hey! You know I have no time for-!”

He cut her making a gesture with his hand as he talked with the Turk on the other line of the phone. It was a brief phone call. He closed his phone and turned his attention back at her.

“A helicopter will come by 7:30 tomorrow to pick us up,” Vincent said.

Jocasta arched an eyebrow “Us?”

“I’m your bodyguard, where you go, I go,” Vincent said simply.

“Hm… then you’ll give me a hand with grocery shopping, will you?”

He sighed “Yes, ma’am,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Do you like it?” She asked for the hundredth time and he sighed.

“This is the twentieth time you ask me and my answer still stands,” Vincent said as he picked another group of pasta in his fork and brought it to his mouth.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I haven’t cooked in a while and I thought I’d probably lost my touch,” Jocasta said apologetically as she stuffed another mouthful of pasta in her mouth. And _damn_ was it good. “Especially that kinda dish. Damn it’s been a while,”

“It’s pretty good,” Vincent admitted.

They’d set the dinner on the table on the balcony. It was night by the time they returned from grocery shopping but it wasn’t cold outside. It was summer and the breeze was soothingly cool. There was silence mostly, but it was the kind of silence they both enjoyed alongside each other’s company.

Usually, white wine is the perfect accompaniment for pasta, but she knew Vincent’s favorite was red sweet wine. It did feel so much like it was a date. But it wasn’t. _Right?_ He sat across her in his usual formal outfit, and she was in her own usual outfit. Of course, she’d taken off the lab coat. She enjoyed every single second of it. And something told her he too actually enjoyed it. Maybe not _enjoy_ but certainly, he didn’t seem not to like it.

She noticed a small drop of the white sauce by the side of his pale lips. She grabbed her handkerchief and raised her hand to wipe it for him. Vincent nearly flinched away.

“Relax, I’m not gonna punch you,” Jocasta said “Stand still,” he obeyed as she gently wiped away the cream from the corner of his lips.

He knew he should feel awkward and uncomfortable, but he didn’t. He felt relaxed. His palms weren’t sweating just like it happened in his first date with Lucrecia. He felt a familiarity. Something about Jocasta soothed him. He smiled for a moment without even noticing, but unfortunately for him, Jocasta did.

She pressed her chin on her hand as her eyes met his for one small moment, noticing the most visible smile he’d ever given her. She definitely smiled back. Jocasta couldn’t actually count how much time they stared at each other like that, but surely, Vincent was the one to tear his gaze away. An expression of guilt flashed across his face as he took another sip of his wine and tried his best to not get caught up and lost in her eyes again.

Jocasta noticed that sudden change, and of course it made sense that Lucrecia was still in his mind. And maybe Tedric was still in hers. “I… I’m so sorry, Vincent, I’m not trying to-”

“I know, it’s just… Lucrecia’s still-”

“I know you love her…” she cut him. He just let out a sigh. “But it’s alright, you’re my friend, Vincent…” Jocasta said, until she realized they hadn’t yet established that “I mean, you could be, if you want to,”

Vincent’s lips curved into another one of his invisible smiles that Jocasta was beginning to learn how to notice “I want to,”

Jocasta giggled, and nearly squeaked in happiness “Aww, thank you, Vince!”

He frowned “Vincent,” he corrected her.

“Alright, alright, _Vincent_ ,” She said, giving him a goofy smile and giggling. _Why am I being like this?_ “Anyway, will you give me a hand with the table?” she asked when she realized they’d finished their dinner.

Vincent nodded as he grabbed their two plates and proceeded towards the kitchen. Jocasta grabbed the two glasses, with the half-full bottle of wine and brought them to the kitchen. She gathered her sleeves as she started washing the dishes while Vincent dried them with a towel and placed them back in their shelves. 

Once they finished the chore, in silence, Jocasta let down her sleeves as she rested against the counter of the kitchen and turned at Vincent who was standing across her.

“You must be tired. You should sleep,” Vincent said as he took a look at the hour from the watch around his wrist “It’s getting late,”

“You’re right,” Jocasta said as she walked out of the kitchen and towards her room “Goodnight, Vincent,”

“Goodnight,”

He was right. She was indeed tired, but it was only obvious to her when she laid down on her couch in her room. The instant she closed her eyes, she fell into a deep slumber. Vincent stayed up a little longer as he usually did, keeping an eye around the house’s yard and checking the rooms for any intruders. But everything seemed fine. Just like every night before.

Vincent was finishing the last night shift when he noticed her scooched up on her couch. By the sleepy expression on her face, he could tell that the couch wasn’t as comfortable as a bed would be. Lucrecia’s bed though was still there, and empty. He picked her up bridal style as gently as he could not to wake her.

The moment he held her, she shifted against him unconsciously. Her face nuzzled against his chest. He could hear her rhythmic breathing as she slept peacefully. He couldn’t help but smile as he carried her towards Lucrecia’s room and placed her gently on the bed. He covered her with the sheets and pushed one forelock of her messy hair away from her face.

His smile turned into sorrow as he remembered how he once held Lucrecia like that. How in love they were and how quickly that was taken from him. He couldn’t understand what went wrong. After all of these endless and endless discussions, he and Lucrecia had. Jocasta too tried her best to convince her otherwise, but nothing could change her mind.

Nevertheless, Lucrecia seemed happy now. At least, her relationship with Hojo wasn’t drowned in guilt and pain. He just hoped things had happened otherwise.

Vincent sighed and exited the room silently. Jocasta was there for him ever since things got complicated. She had tried her best to cheer him up. It didn’t always work, but her efforts weren’t always unwanted. He was kind of grateful that she was there and she genuinely seemed to understand what he was going through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	6. Unfortunate Events

It didn’t take more than a few weeks when the news came up. It came with a ring on her phone while she was washing her hands right before another surgery. Jocasta sighed. If she was to grab her phone _now,_ she’d have to wash her hands again. The safety measures, when it came to preventing infection, should be followed by the letter.

Nevertheless, with a few curses under her breath, Jocasta took off the gloves she’d just started putting on, and she turned to grab her back that hung from the nearby coat stand. She opened her phone and she grinned when she saw that it was actually Lucrecia calling her.

Lucrecia had distanced herself away from both Jocasta and Vincent. Believe it or not, it wasn’t such a usual incidence whenever she’d call. Of course, Vincent wasn’t much into talking to her. He wasn’t angry, he was sad and depressed. It took quite an effort to at least make him crack a smile throughout the day.

Jocasta shook her head and she pressed the buttons placing the phone by her ear. “Hey, Lucy, how’re you doing?”

_“I’m fine! Actually, more than fine! I have some incredible news!”_

“Alright then, make it quick ‘cause I got an operation,” Jocasta said. Not in her kindest of moods. She placed a hand on her waist and waited impatiently.

_“I’m pregnant!”_

The last thing Jocasta knew was that her eyes widened, her impatient thoughts turned into surprised ones, and she instantly forgot what kind of operation she had to do. Her blood ran hot in her ears as she took a moment to process that. _What would that mean for Vincent?_ The first thought that struck her mind.

She was starting to imagine that painful expression on Vincent’s face whenever his mind would inevitably lead him to thoughts of Lucrecia.

_“Hello?”_

She heard the sound coming from her phone and only then did she realize that she’d dropped it. She didn’t care the least if the phone’s screen had broken when she bowed down and picked it up from the whitish marble floor. _Well,_ from the looks of it, it hadn’t broken when she placed it back over her ear.

Jocasta cleared her throat “That is… great news,” she said, swallowing down that lump that gathered in her throat.

_“Joe, are you alright?”_

Of course, Lucrecia would notice that something was off about the way Jocasta said that. Maybe they didn’t share the same blood, but they’d grown up under the same roof.

“I’m fine, I’m just… uhhh…” Jocasta knew she should try harder to conceal her surprise and the pit in her stomach at the very thought of Vincent’s reaction to it. She didn’t want to see him get hurt. Lucrecia marrying another guy was one thing, but carrying that other guy’s child was another. “…I’m just so excited about it I can’t even fathom it!” Jocasta said in the _happiest_ color she could put in her voice. She repeated the words in her mind _What the hell am I saying?!_

_“I know! Isn’t it great! Oh, and something else…”_

Jocasta cringed mentally _there’s more to it?!_

_“Hojo said you should come by when you finish. We wanna talk to you about another experiment we’re on. Maybe you can aid us,”_

Jocasta pinched the bridge of her nose and rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted was a scientific conversation with Hojo and Lucrecia. “Alright. I bet I’ll be done by six. Does that sound good?”

_“Perfect! See you then, Joe!”_

“Yeah… see ya,” Jocasta ended the call and she let out a deep sigh. “Dammit,” She cursed under her breath as she threw the phone back in her bag.

“Dr. Ernchester,” Jocasta turned her attention at the woman that waited outside the door “Are you ready?”

“Five minutes,” Jocasta said before the woman nodded and exited the room. Jocasta let out a long sigh before she got back into getting ready for the surgery at hand.

She thought she should best focus and keep her thoughts on actually saving a life, than to her foster sister’s stupidity.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta got out of the car as Vincent parked outside the Shinra Manor. Jocasta knew that it was probably a torment for him to get in that house and see Lucrecia. She’d tried to convince him that maybe she should go there alone, by herself, but he insisted to escort her anyway.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna wait outside?” Jocasta asked for the hundredth time as she rang the bell of the huge building’s door and waited until somebody would open up.

Vincent’s eyes found her. He’d been resting his back on the wall, his hands crossed against his chest, his face bent down mainly focused on the floor “Jocasta, I’m fine,” he repeated.

Jocasta let out a sigh and she nodded “Alright,”

The door finally opened and Lucrecia was behind it. She wore her usual blue shirt, her dark blue skirt and the white lab coat on top. Vincent sat straight. His eyes pinned on her for a moment before he tore them away again back on the floor with a sigh. Lucrecia gave them a smile and she gave Jocasta a hug.

“So nice to see you two,” She said as Jocasta patted her back and broke the hug.

Jocasta tried to give her the realest smile she could manage “You too,”

“Come in,”

Jocasta and Vincent walked in the Shinra Manor. Jocasta was wearing her lab coat. Well Lucrecia did mention some kind of experiment that they’d need her help on. It only made sense to at least be prepared for it.

Vincent’s eyes were focused on the wooden floor as they entered Hojo’s house, Lucrecia’s new home. Jocasta thought it was best to tell him the news herself. It’d come smoother from her than it would from Lucrecia herself. Of course, that painful expression was on his face, his eyes gleamed in defeat and despair and pain. It was the reaction Jocasta was trying to prevent but she knew it was inevitable.

He'd bent his head over, his eyes briefly closed for a second as he took a moment to process the thought and he just said _“Oh… I see,”_

Maybe his voice broke for a minute, and maybe he turned his back at her to conceal any _damned_ tear that was bound to slip down his cheek. Jocasta wanted to give him a hug. Showing emotional support by contact, always helped in these situations. At least, every psychology book she’d read claimed so. But she knew he wasn’t gonna like it, and she knew that it wasn’t gonna help the situation. The only person that could make him _happy_ was Lucrecia by changing her mind, but Jocasta knew it was impossible. _Especially now_ that she had a child. 

Lucrecia led them down the hall and stopped in front of the door of the main library of the Manor. She faced the others biting the inside of her cheek, her hands wrapped on each other, and rested on her lower abdomen.

“Vincent, would you mind wait outside a while?” Lucrecia said.

Jocasta couldn’t figure out why, but there was a scoff on Lucrecia’s face as she addressed Vincent. Maybe she was still mad about all these fights these two have had. Nevertheless, there was still some tension between those two even after it’d been two months. _Well,_ maybe two months weren’t enough time for two people to heal from a breakup. And Lucrecia didn’t seem pretty much _healed_ despite the fact that she was _already_ married to another guy. And _of all people,_ Hojo.

Jocasta shrugged. _What do I know?_ There were so many books focused around _love,_ and _affection,_ and _happy endings._ She had _tried_ to understand those feelings. These peculiar emotions that made no sense. There was no specific order of words that could express the meaning of them, and therefore, they didn’t worth her time. Maybe she had convinced herself that she never _felt_ them. That what she had with _Dr. Tedric Philips_ wasn’t as important as she thought it was back at the time. Because if love is such a _wonderful thing_ like everybody claimed it to be, _why_ would it hurt that much? _No,_ she chose to shut it out. Lock the door shut and drown in her books, her work, her experiments… her _wonderful_ science. At least, _that_ was something that made sense. 

“Oh… o- of course,” Vincent stuttered for a moment before he stepped aside. He crossed his hands against his chest as he rested his back on a nearby column, watching with a frown as the other two entered the library. He shook his head and locked his gaze on the floor. His thoughts wandered around and kept torturing his already tormented mind.

Lucrecia and Jocasta saw Hojo sitting by the bench of the library making another research on the ancient scriptures of the Cetra civilization. Hojo’s eyes looked up, for a second focusing his attention on the other two scientists as they approached him. He woke up, with that smile on his face that always made Jocasta question his sanity. He had that smile over there every time they worked in the laboratory in the basement on the JENOVA Project.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the famous, yet brilliant Dr. Ernchester,” Hojo said as he lent a hand over for a handshake. 

Jocasta tried to force a formal smile as she shook the man’s hand “I’m always glad to help, Dr. Hojo. Though I wonder, what a man of your expertise would ask of me,”

“Last night, the most brilliant idea surged through my neurons! We have tried injecting specimens with JENOVA cells by the ages of 12 to 18, but what we _haven’t_ tried is…”

“Injecting a specimen during the fetal stage,” Lucrecia finished his sentence.

Jocasta’s eyes widened for a moment. _What!?! WHAT THE FU-_ “Uhh… what a …brilliant idea…!” she tried her best to act casual. There were still some formalities she had to keep. She crossed her hands against her chest, her fingers tapping nervously on her waist. The other two, eyed her for a moment trying to understand if she liked the idea or not.

“So, Joe… what do you think?” Lucrecia asked raising an eyebrow.

Jocasta had to admit. It did sound interesting, but _hell_ who would ever volunteer for that “Do you guys have a specimen who’s actually willing to do that?”

“Yes! More than willing actually…” Hojo said as he passed a hand around Lucrecia’s shoulders.

_Oh no… don’t you dare…_

“…our child being the very first Cetra seen in generations. Imagine the glory! Who would say no to that, right?!” Hojo cried out dramatically.

Jocasta freaked out. She pursed her lips trying to keep a chain of _very unpleasant_ curses and maybe a cry of frustration that threatened to escape her throat. She looked at Lucrecia and she couldn’t recognize her anymore. Lucrecia had that gleam of excitement in her eyes whenever she made a new discovery or whenever she was working on her weird thesis.

The two definitely forgot one _very_ important detail. _Side-effects_. If they were to inject the womb with foreign cells from a 2000-year-old fossil they had excavated and had no idea what it was… what would that mean for the host? What would that mean for Lucrecia?

“Let me get this straight… you want to inject the womb of _your_ wife, that carries _your_ child, with cells of a being we know _nothing_ about?” Jocasta said putting all her effort into _not_ crying out and express _unpleasantly_ her objections.

“That is a pretty summed up version of what we want to do but in essence… yeah,” Lucrecia said simply as if _it wasn’t such a bid deal._

“Just imagine what this being could do! It’ll be a combination of the most brilliant minds of our era, what if we add that final perfect touch…” Hojo wandered off by the window of the room, his fingers fisting in the right hand he brought up. He let out a chuckle as he tucked his glasses further up his nose and he turned back at the other two “…and with your help, who knows what mysteries we can unlock. Just… imagine…”

“Dr. Hojo… permission to… talk openly?” Jocasta asked as she cleared her throat and swallowed hard.

“Permission granted,” Dr. Hojo said.

Jocasta chuckled for a second before her expression turned into a furious one and she cried out “Are you out of your fucking mind?!” the other two, eyed her confusedly “This whole thing sounds brilliant and beautiful but can’t you just take a moment and think about the side-effects this is gonna have to the host. Your wife, dammit!”

“Yes, we are aware of the risks. But that’s where you come in,” Hojo said, trapping his hands behind his back.

“And what do you want me to do?” Jocasta asked raising an eyebrow, attention piqued.

“We’ll need your expertise in Genetics. Study the genome of JENOVA,” Lucrecia said.

Jocasta pinched the bridge of her nose. Thinking in her frustration wasn’t an easy thing, but if she could make this _experiment_ any less painful for Lucrecia, she was gonna try. She sighed as she finally reached an assumption in her mind and parted her lips to mouth it.

“Look, the only way to reduce side-effects as much as possible is to _not_ involve the host. Meaning, that we should act within the next five days while the zygote has not started multiplying. Take it out and in vitro mess with the DNA. Extracorporeally, while it’s still one single cell and then put it back in there but…” she shut her eyes for a second as she rubbed her aching forehead “…this is insane! Lucy!” She turned at Lucrecia “Are you really sure about this!?” she asked once again. 

Lucrecia _now_ did seem unsure and maybe not up for it anymore. She opened her mouth to speak but Hojo spoke first “Brilliant! Just brilliant! How hadn’t I thought of that?!”

Jocasta sighed “Dr. Hojo, with all due respect, I don’t think it’s-”

“Obviously, you’re denying our request for you taking part in the S Project. But it doesn’t matter. Dr. Ernchester, your duties are no longer required,” Hojo said as he got back to the book he was studying before.

“No, wait-” Lucrecia tried to say but Jocasta cut her.

“Well good! ‘Cause I want no part of this!” Jocasta said before she turned at Lucrecia and she grasped her hand “Lucy if you don’t want this, walk away while you still can,”

Lucrecia didn’t speak even though her lips parted and a thousand words formed a lump in her throat. There was something else holding her back. It wasn’t the insanity that science sewed in each scientists’ head whenever it came to making discoveries. It wasn’t the sweet rush of adrenaline during experimentation. During that restless, impatient waiting for results that promised progress.

There was something else, and Jocasta knew it from that look in Lucrecia’s eyes. There was terror. Not excitement. There was pain and guilt and anger. All that covered her like a thick blanket and beneath laid sweet woman she’d grown up with and learned to call her _sister_. They used to be best friends and _now_ she was gone. And Jocasta knew she wouldn’t be able to just stand by and watch her self-destruct. But she wasn’t gonna join Hojo’s hopeless cause anyway. It felt rudely unethical to condemn a woman and her child. His own wife and his very own child.

She wasn’t gonna aid anybody ever again in creating monsters. Jocasta noted to herself that she should probably deliver her resignation to Shinra. She wanted no part of this. All of this. Not anymore. She could make a fine career as a Heart Surgeon anyway. She didn’t _need_ this job as Hojo and Lucrecia did.

With that, Jocasta let go of Lucrecia’s hand and she walked out of the room. Vincent was waiting outside, that frown was still on his face but his fists were clenched, his jaw tightened as he struggled to keep words back. Jocasta sighed.

“You heard everything, didn’t you?” She asked.

Vincent let out a sigh of exasperation before he barged into the room where Lucrecia and Hojo were still in. Jocasta cringed mentally. She didn’t want a fight. She never actually did. She’d warned Lucrecia and Hojo about what they were about to do and they were willing to do it anyway. Further efforts for convincing them otherwise were worthless. _Especially these two._

“Is it true?” Vincent asked as calmly as he could manage.

“Is what true?” Hojo asked raising an eyebrow turning his attention at the young Turk.

“That Lucrecia…” Vincent tried to say before he corrected himself “…that Dr. Crescent is to take part to this project?”

Before Hojo had the chance to speak, Lucrecia turned around and faced him “It’s true,” she said, her voice cold as she approached the table where her husband made his research on.

Vincent’s furious expression turned into a confused one. His fists unclenched. Lucrecia stood beside her husband, that cold expression painted on her face as she stood her ground.

“Why are you so surprised?” Lucrecia asked.

Jocasta just stood there. Hands crossed against her chest as she shook her head disapprovingly. Hojo shot her a deathly glare and she was more than willing to return it. Vincent had lost his words. He’d never think she was capable of doing something so insane.

“But using your own child… for an experiment?” Vincent said incredulously, his crimson eyes stared at her, trying to believe it.

Hojo let out a laugh “We’re both scientists! We know what we’re doing!”

“No! You’ve no idea what you’re doing!” Jocasta burst out “That’s why you’re making this experiment, to see what happens! You’ve no idea what would that mean for Lucrecia. How the foreign cells, for which we know nothing about, are gonna affect her body. A body that has not been Mako infused and you can’t expect it to be strong enough for-”

“Enough! You two are the last people that have any word in this! Leave us at once!” Hojo cried out at Jocasta and Vincent who were standing side by side across the table.

Vincent let out a sigh as he locked his gaze on the floor for a second before he raised it back at Lucrecia “But…”

“But what?!” Lucrecia snapped “If you have something to say, say it!”

Vincent hesitated, gritted his teeth for a second, realizing that the woman he’d once fallen for was no longer there. No longer existed. “Are you… are you sure this is what you really want?”

She remained silent for a second as she bit her lip and miserly looked over the floor before she snapped “Am I sure? Am I sure?! If this only concerns me, then yes! I’m sure!” she shouted.

“Oh…” Vincent remained silent for a second. His head bent over, eyes closed in sadness and disbelief “I just…” he pursed his lips when he realized there was nothing else he could say to change her mind.

Jocasta placed a hand on his shoulder “Let’s get out of here,” she said softly. He nodded and they walked out of the room after Jocasta shot them another glare.

The moment they stepped foot out of the Manor and into Vincent’s car, he sighed, his fingers clenched around the car keys. Jocasta sat on the seat beside the driver’s seat. She refused to sit on the back, especially _now_ when Vincent actually needed somebody to talk to.

“Tell me…” his voice came from beside her and it triggered her gaze at him “…what’s gonna happen to her?” It felt like Jocasta was possibly the only person who seemed to know the possible side-effects this experiment was gonna have on Lucrecia.

Jocasta sighed as she took a moment to think about it. She shook her head. _Screw it_ “You’re not gonna like it,”

“Dammit, Jocasta! I want the truth!” Vincent cried out.

Jocasta flinched back for a second. She’d never seen him this angry before. His crimson eyes looked right through her. His expression was furious. She sighed and shook her head disapprovingly.

“Considering Hojo proceeds as he previously planned, he’s gonna inject the womb with JENOVA cells. Her immune system is gonna recognize them as a foreign threat and it’s gonna try to fight them off by creating antibodies. It’ll never get to that ‘cause our immune system cannot _recognize_ JENOVA’s genome. Lucrecia’s body is gonna start overcompensating,” Jocasta explained.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Jocasta let out another heavy sigh as she shut her eyes for a moment and tried to fumble through her knowledge. She tried to explain it as simply as she could “The immune system will try so hard to fight the foreign cells that it’s gonna end up damaging its own tissue. Which means she’s gonna be experiencing immense pain, especially around the abdominal area…”

She took a moment to think about it. JENOVA was a whole different kind of being. It wasn’t a Cetra, it wasn’t human, it was something else. And it drove her insane not knowing what it was. On the JENOVA Project they spent days and months and years trying to decode its genome. But it worked differently. It worked unnaturally. It defied everything fundamental in the field of Genetics. It was the kind of genome that would somehow sew itself on another being’s genome and wait there, silently, until it would suddenly, somehow, start being transcribed and ‘expressed’. _And who knows_ what kind of _expressions_ were gonna start showing up. All in Lucrecia’s body. All in her child’s body.

Jocasta rubbed her forehead. An instant headache hitting her as she shook her head, her face wrinkled into an expression of disgust. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She could feel Vincent’s eyes burning through her skin as he impatiently waited for her to resume her explanation. But there was _no_ explanation.

“Vincent, I have no idea what else might happen to her!” Jocasta finally burst out “I- it’s… a whole new being. We know nothing about it. Four years of research are not enough. This needs decades to be studied. Heck! For all I know she might even be able to see the future if she actually gets these cells inside her!” she chuckled in the last part. It sounded _absurd. Ridiculous._ But the whole idea was _absurd._

Vincent fell silent for a long moment. Jocasta groaned as she buried her face in her hands and she rubbed her forehead. Her palms were sweating and her hands were probably shaking. She wasn’t sure, and she didn’t care. Lucrecia was gonna die, and she was gonna do it willingly. Both Vincent and Jocasta tried to warn them. They just didn’t wanna listen.

He finally turned the keys igniting the car’s engine and started driving through the silent streets of Nibelheim. It was almost nightfall and whoever was outside, had already retreated in their home. Jocasta rested her head back on the seat and she looked outside the window. She wasn’t really focusing her attention on anything. Her mind torturously wandered around the thoughts of her friend and her child eventually dying. Or maybe not even dying. JENOVA cells would maybe use their bodies like a parasite.

She let out another exasperated sigh. Everything was possible with that… _that thing._

They finally reached the house. In silence, they got out of the car, Vincent locked it and they proceeded towards the entrance of the house. Jocasta unlocked the door and they both walked in. She took her short-heeled uncomfortable shoes and she walked barefoot towards the shelves of a piece of furniture standing in the living room.

She grabbed two glasses and a fat bottle of whiskey. She turned and spotted Vincent sitting by the couch. His gaze focused on a random spot in the room as thoughts swirled around his mind.

“You want wine or-”

“Whiskey,” he replied dryly.

She chuckled almost bitterly “Makes sense. The heavier the better,” she poured two glasses and she handed him one, sitting beside him on the couch.

He didn’t reply. He just took a sip and placed the glass back on the table near the couch. He sighed as he turned his head away from her. Jocasta couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment. She hated watching him being like this. She hated how ruthlessly Lucrecia hurt him and kept hurting him.

She knew he probably wouldn’t want this. But she couldn’t help herself. She was willing to do anything to wipe this sadness from his thoughts, his mind, his face. She hugged him. Arms wrapped around his shoulders as she forced his head on her shoulder and down her neck.

Vincent stiffened against her. His hands didn’t return the gesture. Jocasta felt tears in her eyes as she pulled back and cupped his face “I’m sorry I just… you looked like you really needed this hug,”

Vincent didn’t respond. He looked away from her in shame as a tear slipped down his cheek and Jocasta could hardly believe he was actually crying. He wiped it away immediately before he pulled her back into that hug. His arms passed tightly around her waist pulling her body close and his face buried in her neck.

She couldn’t believe he was actually the one hugging her now. She too stiffened at first, but relaxed when she felt his hands around her. Her fingers dug deep in his pitch-black hair as she rested her chin on top and shut her eyes. She could feel him wetting her shirt as he laid down shameful tears. She could feel his fingers digging in her skin as he clutched on her shirt.

Jocasta didn’t really count the minutes they stayed like that. She was too wrapped into all these… _emotions._ Emotions she couldn’t understand. Sure, she was angry. She was frustrated. Frustrated for Lucrecia’s stupid decisions. Frustrated that it made him a mess. _When did I start caring so much for him?_ It was a question amongst the many that she couldn’t answer. And she didn’t want to answer. _Emotions_ she’d probably choose to run away from. The only thing she was good at was her job, _not_ relationships.

Vincent pulled back as he searched for his handkerchief in his pockets. Jocasta was faster this time, offering hers. He hesitantly grabbed it and wiped the tears away. His voice cracked as he looked away from her.

“My… my apologies, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay,” She cut him. They stayed in silence for a long moment, before she tried to crack a smile and said “I’ll make dinner,”

“I’m not hungry,”

“I know. But you have to eat something. We both do,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	7. Alarmed

It’s only been a few weeks ever since that day. Things had started to blend into normality. Jocasta postponed lots of times to deliver her resignation to Dr. Gast Faremis. She no longer wanted to work for Shinra but that would come with a price. Vincent would no longer have to be her bodyguard and the Turks would take him back to assign him other missions.

She’d scoff at herself every time. _When did I start caring for him so much?!_ She’d ask herself and then she’d shrug it off.

She didn’t know why she felt this way and at some point, she convinced herself that she no longer cared. She just wanted to dive deep into her work. And maybe help Vincent deal with his _depression. ‘Cause that’s what good friends do. Right?_

Jocasta sighed once again as she took off her glasses and tossed them off onto her desk. She rubbed her stinging eyes and she looked satisfied at the messy scribbling she’d done on the blank spaces of another book she’d been studying. She was a Heart Surgeon, not a Geneticist, and if she was to keep up with the JENOVA Project, she had to study Genetics.

She never really got why Shinra would hire a _Heart Surgeon_ for a Project that really had nothing to do about it. _Well,_ almost nothing. The first few years they’d have her open up that being’s chest and searching for anything that would possibly work as its _heart._ It had a similar mechanism that very much differed from what she’d studied.

Jocasta slipped her gaze by the clock that hung on her wall. It was nearly 1:40 am. She’d have to be up for work in less than seven hours. She shook her head as she tossed the pen she still had in her hand, and she took off her lab coat. She’d forget to take it off most times and she wasn’t surprised about it.

A knock came from the other side of her room’s door and Vincent walked in. She noticed her phone in his hand as he spoke “Dr. Faremis wants to speak to you,” he said.

Jocasta arched an eyebrow. If Gast was to call her in such late hours, something important had happened. She got up and lent her hand over grabbing her phone as Vincent handed it to her. She placed it by the side of her face close to her ear and rested one hand by her waist.

“Gast, what can I help you with-”

He cut her. Vincent watched her as her eyes widened in surprise. _Terror?_ Possibly. He looked at her trying to read her face. An expression of disbelief painted on it.

“What?! What are you- …an Ancient?! Are you sure?!”

It sounded urgent. Her hand found her desk behind her as she tapped her fingers nervously. Unbeknownst to her. He’d noticed she kept doing that. That _tap, tap, tap_ of her fingers on whatever surface she could find. Whenever something _bad_ happened this was a habit of hers amongst the many he’d learned recognizing.

“I’m coming…” she said nodding and Vincent flinched in his place ready to stop her. It was a _bad_ idea to go out _this_ late in the middle of the night. “…Of course, I’m gonna help- Gast, calm down, where are you now?” she asked as she grabbed the pen she’d tossed earlier and whatever paper she could find. She scribbled down an address and nodded “Alright. I’m on my way,” and that was the end of the call.

She bit her lip and mumbled something to herself that Vincent didn’t quite catch up. The curiosity was _killing_ him though. “What’s going on?” he asked.

She shook her head “I don’t wanna drag you into this,” she mumbled as she turned on her bookcase and she hastily started searching through the endless books. She kept mumbling to herself as she hastily slipped her gaze all around the books. Her teeth gritted, her hands almost shaking as her fingers brushed over each book.

Vincent did hear her saying something about the _Ancients._ His gaze drifted off to a pile of old books she already had on her office. He lifted some of them and pushed them aside until he found one with a title definitely related to the Ancients. He lifted it up.

“You’re looking for this?” He asked.

Jocasta turned around; her eyes widened gratefully as she instantly recognized the old book “Yes! Thank you, Vincent!” she cried out as she grabbed the book and tossed it into her bag “I need to go,” she threw her bag by her shoulder and she grabbed her jacket. She proceeded to exit her room but Vincent got in the way and she sighed exasperatedly.

“You can’t possibly think I’d let you go anywhere on your own _this_ late,” Vincent said.

“Vincent, please, you gotta trust me on this one. I- it’s …it’s important,” Jocasta stuttered.

“Your safety is important,” He insisted “At least let me come with you,”

Jocasta sighed “Fine. But you need to promise me…” she grabbed his hand, making sure she had his full attention as she stared up at him “…promise me you won’t get involved. In _any_ way,”

Vincent stared back at her. He wasn’t really sure how much of that promise he could keep. Whatever Dr. Faremis was up to, he definitely didn’t want any part of it. But he was still a Turk and his duties demanded that he reported everything back to Shinra. He shook his head.

“You know I _can’t_ promise that,” Vincent said.

Jocasta let go of his hand and fended away. She scoffed “Then let me go!” She tried to push him out of her way pressing her hands flat on his chest. Vincent wouldn’t budge an inch and she groaned irritatingly. Vincent rolled his eyes and took her wrists in his hands in order to stop her.

“Alright, alright. I won’t get involved. Just let me keep you safe, will you?” Vincent said looking down at her, with almost a smile curving up the corners of his lips. _That stubbornness_ of hers. It didn’t get as annoying as he thought it would.

She stared at him for a moment trying to make sure that he wasn’t lying, or trying to fool her. Jocasta tore her hands away from his grip “Fine! Let’s go,”

And with no further words, she pushed him aside and she walked out of her room and eventually out of the house. Vincent followed closely behind. They got in the car and he drove them back to wherever Dr. Gast had asked them to go. It was Gast’s actual home a bit further away from Nibelheim. But it didn’t take many much time. Just a few minutes of silence as Jocasta kept reading the book she’d taken with her.

Her fingers grasped the hard leathered covers as she read fast. She seemed like she’d read that particular book so many times, she already knew what _every single_ chapter was all about. Her glasses neatly tucked over her nose as she tried to ignore the insistent sting that radiated from her tired eyes. And maybe that headache she was trying so hard to ignore, was either caused by loss of sleep, or dehydration. She had a feeling it was both.

Jocasta was grateful for the light in the car. She wouldn’t be able to make her quick revision on Cetra anatomy. Gast had _apparently_ found a Cetra. A young woman. He said she was hurt. A couple of bullets had damaged crucial parts of her body and her chest.

Gast and Jocasta had become friends over these two years she’d joined that Project. Gast did seem to be the only person amongst her other _fellow_ scientists, that was actually sane. He was just as brilliant -if not more- as any other scientist that worked on the JENOVA Project. Jocasta trusted him. And he apparently trusted her. In a time of need, she was sure that she was the only one he’d called.

“Cetra Anatomy,” Vincent’s voice came from beside her as he peeked at the book from the corner of his eye. He tried his best to keep most of his attention on driving around a _pretty dangerous_ dark road, but he wanted answers. “Mind telling me what’s going on?”

“Uh… a friend of Gast’s got injured and he needs help,” _Well,_ Jocasta was never good with lying. _Oh boy,_ she was terrible. But _hey,_ all she could think about was if the heart of a Cetra lied near the spline or if the lungs were on the front or on the back. She didn’t have the energy to lie _now._

“Gast is a doctor. He can handle, at least, the basics of injuries. Not to mention the local hospital which happens to be open tonight. May I add that your explanation does not fill why you’re reading Cetra Anatomy,” Vincent said in his monotone voice as he gave her a brief look that told her _you can’t fool me._

And she knew better than to try and lie to a Turk. He was _trained_ to know when somebody’s lying. That’s why she put minor effort into it. She lifted her eyes off the book for a second and looked at him.

“That’s all you need to know, for now, Vincent. I’m sorry. It’s something I have to keep safe. _Someone_. You know what terrible things we do to our test subjects. What terrible things Shinra’s scientists do to their specimens,” Jocasta said. Her fists clenched before she turned her attention back on the book, flipping the pages, searching.

Vincent nodded. It was all the explanation he needed. The Turks knew better than anyone in Shinra about what Shinra’s scientists were up to. They were trying to _create_ a Cetra. A long-gone civilization. They said a _comet_ caused that civilization to extinct 2000 years ago. Although, nothing was for certain. JENOVA was just as old as the Cetra’s extinction. And he knew that this couldn’t be a coincidence.

Once they reached Dr. Gast’s house, Jocasta tossed the book back in her bag and took off her glasses, letting them hang from her neck. She turned at Vincent “Stay here, will you?”

“Call if you need anything,” Vincent said.

Jocasta nodded and she turned her attention to opening the door and exiting the car, but she stopped halfway and gave him a smile “Vince… thanks,”

Vincent eyes her for a moment before he tried his best to return the smile “Just doing my duty,”

Jocasta walked hastily towards Dr. Gast’s house. She stood by the doorstep and knocked. The not-much-older scientist opened the door. Terror and anguish painted on his face as he gave her a look. He let out a sigh of relief and she cautiously looked around the place, making sure he wasn’t being watched.

“Come in! Quickly!” he hissed alarmingly under his breath. Jocasta hurried in, hung her bag, and her jacket by the nearby coat stand and she turned at the man.

“Where is she?”

“I trust you didn’t tell anybody, correct?” Dr. Gast asked. He needed to make sure before taking her to his patient.

“I promise, Gast. I came here on my own,” Jocasta said pressing a hand on her chest and looking deep into the frightened man’s eyes. “Where is she? We need to act fast if she is to survive,”

Gast nodded in agreement. His hands shaking. He was wearing blue plastic gloves that were drenched in blood. “This way…” he pointed by the kitchen “…she’s gonna need a transfusion,”

“Blood type?”

“Same as yours. A Positive. Another reason why I called you,”

“Name?”

“Ifalna,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	8. Exhausted

He didn’t know how many hours he waited outside. At some point he just hoped she was okay, but he’d been keeping watch and no one had entered or exited Gast’s house. Vincent had laid back his head against his seat as he stared outside the window of the car. His eyes focused on the street lights as they illuminated the dark silent streets of Nibelheim.

He let out a sigh. His thoughts drifted to Lucrecia for the hundredth time. He just couldn’t stop thinking about it. _How could she do this?_ He wondered and wondered and there was no answer to that. The woman he’d fallen for would never do that. He didn’t that she’d hurt him, choosing Hojo over him. He didn’t care ‘cause she looked happy. Happier than she was with him. But _this._

An experiment _to her own, unborn child._ What Jocasta had told him about the possible side-effects, didn’t put his mind at ease. He wasn’t expecting it to be ever put at _ease._ He knew he should be trying to stop her. He didn’t want to see her get hurt in any way, not to mention getting the child hurt.

Then his overthinking led him to another question he knew he’d never had answered.

_What if the child is…?_

_…I wonder._

His eyes began to close. Thick eyelashes slowly crashing together as another wave of exhaustion washed over him. He was exhausted. Not physically though. Being a scientist’s bodyguard wasn’t something exhausting _at all._ But his mind, his heart, his whole body ached. The moment he closed his eyes he fell into a deep slumber. One he didn’t know he needed that much.

He didn’t know how much longer it took. But then a knock came. A knock on the window of the passenger’s seat. His eyes snapped open. He unlocked the doors when he realized it was Jocasta. She had a few stains of blood on her clothes that he got a better look at when she entered. His mind drifted to the worst that maybe it was hers. But once she sat on her seat, he let out a sigh of relief when he realized they weren’t hers.

Vincent looked at the watch that was tied around his wrist. It was 4 in the morning apparently and he frowned. He turned at Jocasta as she settled beside him.

“I’m sorry it took that long. You must be exhausted,” Jocasta said apologetically.

“I’m fine,” Vincent said. He knew that she probably wouldn’t want to answer but asked anyway “Can I at least know why we’re here?”

“Not here,” She shook her head “Once we get home,”

Vincent eyed her for a moment before he nodded. He turned the key igniting the engine and he drove them back to the house. They were both so obviously exhausted that they didn’t get to talk about anything else. The silence was always one of the most soothing melodies in his ears.

Once he parked outside the house. He turned to Jocasta only to see her sleeping. Her head had fallen to the side close to the window, her hands were wrapped around her waist as if she was cold. Her eyes closed as her rhythmic breathing made her chest rise and fall at a steady rate. She didn’t seem to mind those forelocks falling on her face, though.

Vincent almost regretted it when he placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to wake her. She stirred for a moment. Her hand found her forehead and she rubbed her eyes drawing in a deep breath as she slipped back into consciousness.

“Damn…” she mumbled “…I slept… sorry,”

“It’s alright,” Vincent said as he opened his door and walked out. He waited for her to exit the car before he turned the key locking it up. He let her walk first into the yard and eventually into the house. He locked the door behind. His back rested by the entrance of her room as he watched her take off her lab coat and hanging it by the coat stand of her room. His hands were crossed against his chest as he waited with an expression that _demanded_ explanations.

Jocasta sighed. She wrapped her hands around her waist, unsure if telling him would be a good idea or not. “Gast… h- he found an Ancient. A Cetra. Probably the last one living. She was wounded… so he needed my help,” she stuttered.

Vincent fell silent for a moment as he processed the information. He sat straight. _A Cetra?!_ He wasn’t really sure how to react to that. He knew that Shinra wouldn’t want anything more from him than to tell them a Cetra had been found. He _now_ knew why Jocasta had been so secretive about it. Why she refused to explain anything in the first place.

She recognized the unsureness on his face. Her heartbeat quickened as her mind drifted to the worst scenarios “Vincent, please…” she walked forward and grabbed his hand as she stared up at him “…I beg of you. Do not report that. Please. If Shinra’s scientists get their hands on her… you’ve no idea what horrible things they’re gonna make us do to her.

Vincent shook his head “You’re right…”

 _Of course_ , she was. The very last of an endangered species should be protected. Not thrown in a lab and examined. And he doubted if Shinra would be any kind to the experiments they’d want to do to a Cetra. Sure, he was a Turk, and sure, the thought of promotion didn’t sound like a bad one. But he was a man of honor, and he wouldn’t stick with a promotion that condemned somebody into lifelong torture.

He placed the other hand on top of hers “I won’t report that. You have my word,” he said reassuringly.

Jocasta let out a sigh of relief. Her nerves immediately relaxing as she pulled him into a brief hug. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders as she pressed her chin on his shoulder and shut her eyes “Thank you so, so, so, so much!”

Vincent didn’t get the time to react. Maybe it was her hands suffocating him, or maybe her voice was too loud on his ears. Or maybe the hug was too brief. Maybe it was a small effort of hers to keep things from getting awkward and she pulled away immediately. Vincent tried to open his mouth and say something, but no words came out as he watched her placing that book back in her bookcase.

She yawned, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth “We gotta sleep,”

Vincent nodded “Good night, Jocasta,”

She gave him a smile “Good night, Vince,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Discoveries

**4 Months Later**

The music banged ruthlessly against her eardrums as she focused all her attention on the microscope, staring for hours and hours on another sample. That small experiment of hers led her to many interesting assumptions. Maybe an ability such as _self-healing_ wasn’t as impossible as everybody previously thought it was.

She took her gaze away from the microscope as she scribbled down another series of words. She looked at her notes after a few minutes. She wasn’t planning to write an entire paragraph. But _heck,_ she had a lot of data to keep on that notebook of hers. She had filled dozens of notebooks and she had stored them all somewhere in a box in _this_ house’s basement.

Her primary goal was to create a serum that would actually promote healing. Sure, she wanted to somehow genetically modify creatures, even humans, to give them the chance of self-healing. But she knew that was an ambition that would have to wait.

Although, JENOVA’s body seemed to have some kind of _immortality_ to it. Jocasta chuckled at herself. It sounded _ridiculous._ But _heck,_ it was a 2000-year-old body and it was intact. Like time had not touched it at all.

Jocasta stopped staring at the sample as a realization hit her. Her eyes widened. She grabbed her notebook and tossed a few pages back. She’d written down a sequence of JENOVA’s genome. She shook her head. JENOVA’s genome was made of different sequences of _six_ different nucleotides, instead of four that every living being on Gaia had, and that made things enough complicated. That was the reason why Dr. Gast stopped believing that this being was a Cetra. Jocasta shook her head. _Too complex._ A genome so complex would mean _too many abilities._ Too many possibilities.

If only she could find a way to relate those two. A human’s genome, with JENOVA’s genome. There must have been something similar these two would have. Something that could link them and she could finally solve that mystery of the weird creature’s origins and abilities. Besides, JENOVA did look _a lot_ like an actual woman, despite the fact that they still weren’t sure of its sexuality.

Jocasta cut a single strand of her hair, and she set off immediately to take both genomes, and stare at them. Just stare at them on the computer she had on her desk. She had gathered a couple of JENOVA’s cells as a sample. Jocasta just stared at the screen in front of her, _for who knows_ how much time. An expression of determination spread over her features as she once again tucked her glasses up her nose and pushed a strand of her behind her ear. She needed to focus.

She magnified the two pictures as much as she could so she could take the clearest of looks of both of them. She knew that whatever she was searching for was definitely on the picture. A genome tells _everything_ about an organism. _Everything._ She was sure the answer was right in front of her and she was just missing it.

“C’mon… show me what you’re made of…” she mumbled. Her computer’s screen’s light flickered on her eyes as she desperately tried to find something. She wanted to decode it. _She needed answers._

Then, something caught her eye. Her brows furrowed as she leaned closer to the screen. Her fingers skilfully danced on the keyboard as she magnified, and magnified the picture. She found a sequence of all six nucleotides of JENOVA. Her eyes bounced back and forth between the two pictures. A picture of her own genome, a normal human’s genome, and a picture of JENOVA’s genome.

There was something oddly familiar between the two, yet they were so different. Jocasta bit her thumb. _C’mon, com’ on… there must be something._

And then she saw it.

A link.

A similarity.

A single pixel on her screen that she knew it was gonna change everything. Jocasta’s hand reached out to grab her notebook which she’d tossed somewhere on her messy desk. Her eyes unable to leave the screen as her blood ran hot in her ears and her heart beat so loud, she could practically hear nothing else than its rhythmic _thump, thump, thump._

Her other hand reached for her pen and she turned her attention on writing down what she saw. She was gonna write it down and then lock that notebook somewhere no one would find it. She wasn’t gonna let Shinra get their hands on it. _‘Cause if they do…_ She shivered at the thought and she tried to keep her mind focused and scribble down her thoughts.

 _Nothing_ seemed _impossible_ anymore.

She could finally decode that genome. And _oh boy,_ what kind of mysteries she was gonna find.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Vincent finished another shift around the house’s yard. After making sure everything looked normal, he walked back into the house and towards her room to make sure she was safe. It was late, almost 3 am. After that, he’d be finally retreating to sleep.

It’s been two days and Jocasta had barely exited her room. She’d only walk out to eat and then rush back into her room. She was apparently working on something really important. She’d even canceled any other jobs she was supposed to take care of. She’d taken these two days off. And all she did was write. Her eyes flickering back on the screen of her computer, her hand continuously scribbling down notes.

Nevertheless, Vincent checked Lucrecia’s room, where Jocasta had been sleeping the past few weeks. Jocasta wasn’t there, so he assumed that he’d find her in her room, probably passed out by her desk, _as usual._ And he’d probably have to carry her. He didn’t mind though. He liked how she sensed him. She always seemed to recognize his hands around her. Her unconscious respond to that. Nuzzling closer to his body like an infant.

Vincent shook his head, mentally scolding at himself for making these thoughts. He opened the door of her room expecting to find her sleeping, but instead she was tirelessly working on that _something_ she was working on the last two days. He couldn’t quite make out what that was even when he approached her and picked at her notes. Vincent raised an eyebrow. _Doctor’s letters_ that nobody could decipher.

She hadn’t even noticed him being there. She was too wrapped up into her work, her headphones neatly placed on top of her head and covered her ears. A cup of coffee stood nearby on the desk. If he remembered correctly, that was probably the eighth cup of the day.

Vincent hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Jocasta’s eyes widened in surprise, her whole body jumped up. But she relaxed when she saw Vincent. She took off her headphones and immediately flipped her notebook closed.

“Vincent!” she turned and looked at him. A hand found her glasses as she took them off, feeling her tired eyes stinging painfully.

Vincent made a step back “I was just checking in on you,”

Jocasta let out a sigh of relief and she smiled at him “Thanks, I- I’m working on something really important,” she admitted.

Vincent nodded “I can say. I was going to rest,”

“Well, you should. You must be tired,” Jocasta said.

“I think you should rest as well,” Vincent said.

Jocasta shook her head “No, no, no… this can’t wait…” she mumbled as she walked towards her bookcase and just stared at it as if she was searching for something. She didn’t seem to have found it judging from that frown on her face. She turned back at him “I need to get to the basement,”

“I’ll escort you,” Vincent offered immediately.

Jocasta placed a hand on his shoulder as she approached him. “No, you must be tired. I’ll be alright, Vince,” she gave him a reassuring smile.

He frowned “Vincent,” he tried so hard to suppress a creeping smile that threatened to form on his lips.

Jocasta laughed as she grabbed a group of keys from her bag that hang from her coat stand. “Okay, _Vincent,_ ” she held her notebook tightly in her hand as she exited her room and walked over the basement. Vincent followed her anyway, and she just rolled her eyes and shook her head “Ain’t gonna listen to me, are you?”

“I know better than that,” Vincent said, _almost_ teasingly and she chuckled.

She opened the door once they reached the bottom downstairs. She switched on the two lights of the basement and she walked towards a particular box. She knelt down and she opened the box revealing numerous notebooks. She placed the one she was holding into the box and she closed it again.

“This is where I keep all my notebooks. My life’s work…” Jocasta turned at Vincent “…I did it, Vincent,” she said, a bright smile on her face, her eyes gleamed in excitement as she stared up at him.

“Huh?” Vincent wasn’t really sure what she was talking about.

“I did it,” She repeated. Her hands found his shoulders “I decoded JENOVA’s genome,”

Vincent’s eyes widened as they stared in surprise at the marvelous woman that stood before him “So you… you know everything about _it_?”

Jocasta started laughing happily “Yes!”

“You must tell Dr. Gast and the others-”

“No!” she snapped. Her smile turned into an expression of terror as she fended away from him “No, no, no, no…” she shook her head “…I’m gonna quit and lock this basement, and throw away the key,”

“But-”

“Vincent… if Hojo gets his hands on that knowledge… there’ll be nothing stopping him…” she approached and grabbed his hand in hers “…only you know where these notebooks are. You and I. Help me protect them. Help me protect the world,”

“But Jocasta, you’ve dedicated your entire life to this research. How can you just cast it aside and bury it?” Vincent asked “How can you just toss this job away?”

Jocasta sighed. Her eyes filled with sorrow as she stared back at the box “It is a price I’ll have to pay,”

“If you quit then that’d mean-” he cut himself midsentence. He never actually realized that he actually liked this job. He actually liked spending that time he had, _with her._

“I know… I tried to postpone it as much as I could but… I can’t go on when I have already figured it out. I have to protect myself… and you. You already know too much, Vincent. I don’t want anybody to use this against you,” Jocasta said, lacing their fingers together.

“Jocasta, Shinra is not a threat to us,” Vincent said reassuringly.

She shook her head “No… not Shinra. Hojo. He won’t stop at Lucrecia…” her hand reached her temple as she pointed her finger at it “…if this gets to him…” she shivered at the thought of the possible outcomes.

Vincent fell silent for a moment. He nodded “You’re right,” he admitted.

He watched her staring at the floor, desperation written on her face. He placed a finger under her chin lifting her face up to look at him. Her hazel eyes rested on his and the tension on her nerves relaxed for one small moment. They were close, only a few inches away. Vincent parted his lips to speak but no words came out. He wanted to tell her that everything was gonna be alright. Be there for her like she’d been for him the last few weeks. But he couldn’t when Lucrecia’s face popped into his mind. They were both helpless at this point.

He sighed and fended away from her “We need to rest,”

She nodded “Alright,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	10. Goodbye

The wind brushed warm against her body, penetrating her clothes. Jocasta closed her eyes for a moment. The house rested only a few meters away. The shade of the tree protected them from the sun’s treacherous sunshine. Jocasta took a deep breath, filling her nostrils with the scent of spring. The scent of flowers that bloomed and the grass beneath them.

Despite the sadness of Vincent’s departure that was to come in the afternoon, Jocasta felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had finally delivered her resignation and quit working for Shinra. No more experiments, no more restless nights, no more anguish. She was planning on staying on Nibelheim for a while and work on the local hospital. She loved the countryside. She’d try to stay away from Midgar for as long as she could.

Vincent had a frown on his face as he sat beside her on the grass. His hand rested on his knee as he stared at the distance. Jocasta assumed that that frown was probably caused by their little picnic. He used to have such picnics with Lucrecia under that very same tree.

“Lighten up, Vince, this is our last day,” Jocasta said as she turned and looked at him, giving him a smile, trying to catch his attention.

He sighed “I know,”

Then another small moment of silence passed by. His thoughts were so loud in his head. Jocasta could practically hear them “So… what’s next for you?” she asked.

“A few missions to take care of in Midgar,” he replied dryly.

“I see,” Jocasta nodded as she turned her attention back at the fields that spread in the distance.

“What about you?” Vincent asked.

“I think I’m gonna stay here a while. I like this village,” Jocasta answered.

Both turned and looked at each other for a brief awkward moment. Vincent’s gaze drifted on the soft grass. When he joined to become a Turk, he knew what he was getting himself into. There was just no time. Apart from all the missions, there was a lot of paperwork to be taken care of. He doubted that they’ll ever be seeing each other again.

Then the helicopter came and landed no further away, but it did catch both their attention. Jocasta frowned. “It came earlier than expected,”

Vincent got up and started walking towards it, his bag with his belongings hung from his one hand. “I have something to take care of, first,” he said, his voice cold, almost angry.

They both approached the helicopter. Jocasta’s mind couldn’t help but wander to the worst. _Take care of what?_ “I hope it’s not something stupid,” she said as she walked alongside him.

Vincent chuckled bitterly “It probably is,” he admitted. Once they reached close to the helicopter that waited for him, Jocasta placed a hand on his shoulder making him turn around and face her.

“Be careful, will you?” She said smiling up at him. 

Vincent nodded and he lent his hand over for a handshake “It was nice working with you, Dr. Ernchester,” he said formally.

She shook his hand “Likewise, Mr. Valentine,” she said giving him a smile.

Vincent did his best to smile back, before he turned around and started walking away towards the helicopter that would take him back to Midgar. Jocasta heaved a sigh as she wrapped her hands around her waist and watched him leave.

She bit her lip. She didn’t know why she so much hated to watch him leave. Maybe it was the loneliness that was gonna follow in the next days. Or maybe it was that she’d have no one to tease. No one to talk to. Jocasta shook her head. She knew she should’ve dealt with loneliness a long time ago. _When Tedric died._ But _now_ she had a bad feeling that this might have been the last time she’d see him.

“Will I see you again?” she asked, making him stop halfway and turn around and look at her. She walked further close to him instinctively. She wasn’t quite sure what she was trying to achieve with that question. She just wanted to know.

He sighed. He doubted they’d ever get the chance. Nevertheless, he tried to smile “We’ll meet again, Jocasta. This is a friendship I’d like to keep,”

Jocasta smiled “Agreed,”

And with that last exchange of words, Vincent turned around and entered the helicopter, which took off right away. Jocasta watched the helicopter flying away with a lump on her throat. She mentally scolded at herself. _Why are you being like this?_ She never was the _clingy_ type, until she realized it herself that day.

She shook her head, and headed back home. She had work to do. She had work to drown in. And it’d distract her. It always did and that’s what she most wanted. Distraction from the thoughts of worry in her mind.

She couldn’t help but wonder… _what is he up to?_

Jocasta just shook her head. She needed to focus on the task at hand. She needed to clutch onto her work. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from further experimenting on JENOVA’s cells. Or whatever of that _alien’s_ that she’d reserved from when she was working on that Project.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

**3 Months Later**

Her eyes examined the liquid she’d trapped in a syringe. Ready to be injected into a body for testing. She held it as if it was the most fragile thing. The serum was ready, but she wasn’t sure what it was gonna do if injected into a body. _Theoretically,_ it would promote healing. But _theory_ never worked in practice. Jocasta needed a human body. The rats seemed to respond to it, but that didn’t reassure her.

She let it down on a case on her desk. She closed the case and she carefully placed it into a shelf. She just hoped no one would find it. And if someone did, she just hoped they’d destroy it. Clumsily throwing it on the floor so that it would break into thousands of little pieces.

She knew she should stop regenerating JENOVA cells and experimenting with them. But she couldn’t help it. Especially _now_ that she’d figured out this alien’s genome. _Yes,_ it was an alien. There was no way that that being was earthly.

Jocasta looked at the clock that hung from her wall. It let her know that it was time for work. She got up, threw her lab coat by her hand and her bag by her shoulder. She headed out of her house and she locked the door behind.

She decided it was best to walk to the hospital. It wasn’t that far from the house anyway.

Then her phone rang. She wasn’t expecting anybody to have called her. Especially Lucrecia. She must’ve already given birth to her child. Jocasta shook her head and chuckled. She stopped walking as she flipped open her PHS and stared at Lucrecia’s name on the screen.

She sighed before she pressed the button and placed the phone by her ear “Hey, how’re you d-”

_“Please! Jocasta! I need your help! Quickly, come over the mansion,”_

If Jocasta knew Lucrecia as much as she thought she did, something _terrible_ had happened. She sounded so frightened, so sad. As if she’d been crying for _weeks._

“I have no longer my card to access the basement, Lucy,”

_“I’ll let you in, dammit! Just come! Right now, please… I beg of you…”_

Jocasta’s expression turned into one of worry. Lucrecia was crying. “I’m on my way. Stay right where you are,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Canceling all appointments wasn’t an easy job. Thankfully, there was another Heart Surgeon that volunteered to take care of all the urgent cases while the rest were scheduled for the next day. She had to hurry back home; grab those syringes she’d filled with the serum she’d been experimenting on the past few weeks. Jocasta guessed that Lucrecia would’ve been hurt in some way after the experiment of infusing her with JENOVA cells. She had a feeling that those potions she’d created, she was gonna have to use them.

One syringe contained the latest she’d created, the other contained an old one that would probably cause more side-effects. But _just to be on the safe side_ she took them both with her, tossing them into the pocket of her lab coat, before she drove her way to the Shinra Manor.

Jocasta could only guess that Hojo had done something to Lucrecia, apart from that nonsense experiment. There was no other explanation as to why she would be crying. These sobs, that urgency in her voice as she begged her to get there. Jocasta was the only other person Lucrecia knew she could rely on. They had grown up together after all.

Jocasta drove hastily, but carefully, on her way to the Shinra Manor. She parked in the nearest spot she could find outside and she walked in. She rang the bell and waited for somebody to open up. She only hoped it wasn’t Hojo.

Fortunately, it was Lucrecia. “Get in! Quickly!”

Lucrecia was a mess. Her hair had been hastily wrapped in a messy braid, she wore her usual clothes and her lab coat on top. Judging from her flat belly, Jocasta thought that maybe she’d finally given birth to that _hopefully healthy_ baby of hers.

Jocasta had so many questions on the line, but she thought it was best to just follow her friend who seemed to desperately need her help. Lucrecia led her in her own personal lab in the basement. Jocasta still remembered the halls and rooms. It hadn’t been long from the time she worked in there herself.

No other scientists were in the labs. There was silence and most rooms’ lights were turned off, letting her know that she and Lucrecia were the only ones there.

“Lucy, what’s going on? What do you want me to-?”

But she never got to finish that sentence when her gaze fell on a Mako filled tube that always existed in the middle of that particular lab. They usually used these tubes to place their test subjects in and experiment on them. But _now._ Jocasta couldn’t believe it. It was Vincent in that tube.

Jocasta approached the tube placing a hand against the thick glass. Her eyes widened. Her heart beat so fast, at some point she felt like fainting. If it weren’t for all these operations that she’d run, she wouldn’t be able to bear the sight of somebody she cared about into a tube. A tube mainly used for test subjects.

He looked cold. Pale skin. Paler than it originally had been. Eyes closed as if he’d fallen into a deep slumber. But he wasn’t sleeping. He looked _dead._ Drained of all blood and life that once ran in his veins. His body was decaying. The Mako did a pretty good job of slowing it down, but he looked _dead._ Tears formed in her eyes as she turned at Lucrecia.

Her fists clenched as she pointed a finger at her “What did you do to him!? What happened?! Answer me!” she walked towards Lucrecia.

Lucrecia made a few steps back, till her hips found the computer panels attached on the walls. A tear slipped down her cheek as she shut her eyes. “I didn’t do it! Hojo… h- he…” she tried to say but sobs choked out and her hands found her temples “…he shot him!” she cried out.

Jocasta threw a hand over the nearby bench. She was ready to faint. She was sure of it. She gritted her teeth as she pictured it. Hojo pulling the trigger, a bullet bringing inevitably death on her… her _friend._ Her fists clenched as she looked angrily back at Lucrecia. She had fallen on her knees, her face buried in her hands. Jocasta knew she should probably kneel beside her, wrap a hand around her shoulders and help her feel better. But she didn’t feel like doing that.

Lucrecia had done this. By bringing Hojo into her life. Vincent had probably meant to talk to Hojo. Just the two of them. Find out what had _actually_ happened. Find out if it was Hojo’s _brainwashing_ that led Lucrecia to sign an agreement promising her own death.

“And you…” Jocasta spelled out in disgust “…what are _you_ doing to him?!” she demanded. A tear slipped down her cheek as she took another look at her friend. Trapped in a tube as if he was an animal. A specimen to be experimented on.

Lucrecia sniffled; a hand wiped her tears away as she looked at Vincent “I… I’m trying to save him,” she sobbed.

 _Bullshit!_ “He is _dead!_ Look at him!” Jocasta cried out angrily as she pointed a finger at Vincent. She knew that she’d only make Lucrecia cry even more with that attitude. And it hurt even more stating the obvious “Let him rest! Let him go, dammit!”

“I can’t!” Lucrecia shouted, for once pausing her senseless crying and sobbing. The only thing she was good at. “I can’t! I can’t, I can’t!” her fingers dug in her skull as another series of sobs escaped her chest.

“Well, that’s just _fucking_ terrific! Don’t you think you should have thought of that when you decided to marry Hojo?! Huh?!” Jocasta pressed. She _needed_ to get this out of her system.

“Joe! Please… please stop!” Lucrecia cried out as she wept against her hands. She placed one hand by the bench beside her and she tried to pick herself up and stand on her feet. A shocking wave of pain coursed through the neurons of her lower abdomen. Lucrecia let out a cry as her hand found her belly and clutched on her shirt. Fingers dug in her skin as an effort to stop it.

Jocasta’s eyes widened as she hurried towards her. Despite her anger, _that_ looked _serious._ She passed Lucrecia’s hand around her shoulders and she tried to carry her towards the nearby chair. Lucrecia winced in every move she made.

“I don’t understand… I- I got _it_ out,” Lucrecia said as she looked at the hand she’d wrapped around her abdomen earlier “My _son,_ ”

“JENOVA cells are still in your body. Your body’s still trying to fight them off resulting in destroying your own tissue…” Jocasta shook her head. She didn’t want to admit it.

“Septicaemia…” Lucrecia mumbled, nodding in understanding “…am I… am I dying?” Lucrecia asked looking up at Jocasta’s worried expression.

Jocasta gritted her teeth as she shook her head and tried to look away from her friend’s dizzy eyes. Her lips trembled, her eyes stung, letting her know that another series of tears were gonna start crawling down her cheeks. She’d lost her parents, then Tedric, then Vincent… and _now_ she was losing Lucrecia. The closest person she had to a sister.

“Yes,” Jocasta finally admitted. She tried so hard to seem strong. So hard to keep the sobs and the tears back. But she broke. She knelt in front of Lucrecia and grabbed her hand in hers. _Not you too… how much more can I lose?_

She sobbed. She couldn’t help herself. Whatever people she cared about, she was losing them one by one and she couldn’t do anything but stare. She felt so helpless, and useless. She knew that after this, no matter how many hours she’d spend doing surgeries, studying books, experimenting. No matter how loud she’d turn her music in her ears… she knew she wouldn’t be able to distract herself anymore. Science was no longer gonna be her escape from that miserable life.

“Joe… I need to save him…” Lucrecia’s eyes found Vincent. Her hand gave Jocasta’s a gentle squeeze “…he deserves to live… I don’t,”

“Don’t say that-”

“Help me save him. Please…” Lucrecia’s face lightened up for just a moment as she turned and looked at Jocasta “…Joe, I found the way to bring him back,”

Jocasta got back on her feet. She sucked in a much-needed deep breath as she wiped whatever remained of her tears.

“I… Chaos…” Lucrecia got up and she walked towards her computer. She started typing “I put him inside of Vincent’s body. And it worked! It worked! The decaying stopped. But… he can’t control it. Not without…” her hand reached out and she grabbed something. A white shimmering globe that looked like a materia. But much bigger “…this,” Lucrecia’s eyes shined in excitement as she showed the orb to Jocasta “This is the Protomateria, constructed by the Lifestream itself,”

Jocasta saw nothing but a crazy scientist who hadn’t let go of her chance to prove her _ridiculous_ thesis. “You put a _demon_ inside his body-”

“I know it sounds like I’m just trying to prove my thesis but… I’m not! I swear! I’m trying to save him! He is not dead! He’s comatose. But it worked! Jocasta, it worked!” Lucrecia cried out, desperately trying to both convince her friend and herself that she wasn’t doing this for _science’s_ sake.

“At what cost?! He’s gonna suffer a life continuously fighting a beast! A demon resides in his very own body, and you put it there!” Jocasta shouted exasperatedly.

“I know! I know I fucked up! I know it’s all my fault!” Lucrecia cried out “But let me just do something good in all this! Help me put this in his chest!” Lucrecia brought up the materia “It will help him control Chaos; I assure you! It’s the only choice we have!”

“How am I supposed to fit an orb this big into his chest?!”

“You’re a Heart Surgeon, dammit! Help me save him!” Lucrecia cried out.

Jocasta sucked in a deep breath as she tried to calm down and concentrate on _how_ she could put that materia into his chest. There was a lot of tissue that they’d have to remove if they stood any chance of fitting that thing. Jocasta hated to admit, but Lucrecia was right _for once._

“Alright. I’ll do it,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	11. Danger

Jocasta washed the blood off her hands and off the lancet she’d used earlier to cut through his tissue. It was over. _Finally_ , over. Another droplet of cold sweat slipped down her forehead as she placed the lancet aside and finished washing her hands. She looked at herself in the mirror. She let out a deep sigh she’d been holding the past few hours.

Lucrecia was right. Vincent wasn’t dead. There was still some blood running in his veins, but he was still in a comatose state. She just hoped he was gonna be okay. Lucrecia’s theory was supposed to work.

“No! This is no experiment!”

Lucrecia’s voice came from the other room and then a familiar laugh followed. A sickening laugh. So familiar. An expression of hate formed on her face. _Hojo._

Jocasta walked into the lab. Hojo was there, laughing at Lucrecia “You’re using this… _fine_ specimen to prove your thesis. My failed experiment. How would he feel if he knew his beloved turned him into another of her test subjects?” He laughed once again as he tucked his glasses further up the bridge of his nose “Once a scientist always a scientist,” Hojo said.

“No! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong!” Lucrecia cried out; her fingers dug in her hair as she shut her eyes.

Hojo’s smile disappeared when he noticed Jocasta being there “What are _you_ doing here?! If I recall correctly, you didn’t like experimenting on human bodies,”

Jocasta walked towards Lucrecia and passed a hand around her shoulders. Lucrecia clutched on her friend’s shirt as she cried on her shoulder. Jocasta shot a glare towards the mad young scientist.

“What did you do to him?” She demanded. One hand around Lucrecia, the other fisting in anger, so tight, she could feel her nails clawing in the skin of her palm like a sharp knife.

Hojo laughed “Me? Do you think I’d waste the chance of putting that fine specimen to use? Of course, he failed. But nevertheless, I got what I wanted,” he let out another of his insane laughs “You two experiment for all I care!” he said and with that he walked out of the lab leaving them alone.

Jocasta ran a hand through Lucrecia’s hair soothingly. Lucrecia looked up her and she wiped another tear that came running down her cheek.

“I’m not experimenting on him… this is not an experiment… I’m trying to-” Lucrecia let out a strangled shout as she felt that same pain over her abdomen. Her hand clutched on her skin as her body folded.

Jocasta passed Lucrecia’s hand around her shoulders as she led her towards a nearby table “You should let me examine you. Maybe I’ll be able to do something about that,”

Lucrecia shook her head “No, no, no… I don’t wanna live anymore. I wanna die-”

“Don’t say that,” Jocasta cut her. She walked towards some nearby shelves and she grabbed a clean syringe, a needle, and a bottle of alcohol. “I’m gonna take a blood sample,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The alien’s cells in Lucrecia’s body weren’t destroying her tissue. They were regenerating. Multiplying in a fast rate and taking over. Of course, her immune system tried to fight them off, and it was her immune system that caused the damage to her cells. Jocasta gave her pills that suppressed the immune system and the pain stopped for a while. But _now_ there was danger of dying by any other kind of infection.

Jocasta sat beside Lucrecia, keeping an eye on her while she rested. She rubbed her forehead. _This is such a mess._ It was so tiring. She was psychologically exhausted, but she knew she’d have to remain strong. For Lucrecia. For Vincent.

It had worked. Vincent was gonna wake up in a few hours. Lucrecia had mentioned something about _shapeshifting._ Hojo’s experiments involved making his body possible of shapeshifting. And with that demon inside of him… Jocasta shuddered at the thought of what would happen if he’d wake up.

Jocasta felt something protruding from the pocket of her lab coat. It dug in her hip as she sat down the chair. Her hand reached down in her pocket. She realized she still had that syringe with the serum she’d created. Two syringes actually. She drew them out and her fingers closed around them. She sighed. _Guess I won’t be needing these._

Then her phone rang. Jocasta put the syringes back in her pocket and she hurried towards her bag that hung from a nearby coat stand. She took her phone out and she opened it. It was Gast. Jocasta pursed her lips. _This can’t be good._ She replied to the call and placed her phone by her ear.

_“Jocasta, Ifalna, and I will be leaving Nibelheim tonight. We need your help,”_

He sounded stressed, breathless as if he’d been running. “Where are you now?” she asked.

_“My house. You know where that is. Please bring us some supplies. Anything. We’re in for a long journey,”_

“Alright. I’m on my way,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

When Jocasta reached Dr. Gast’s house, she parked her car nearby. His car was parked in front of the door of his yard. Its backdoor was open, the garage was filled with bags that she’d assumed he was planning on taking on their journey. Her own garage was filled with supplies that she was going to give them. She just wanted _Ifalna_ to be safe. The last of her kind.

As a doctor she’d swore an oath to do _anything, at all costs, protect and save lives._ She’d never break that oath. It was what made her a doctor. That should be what every doctor should do. Put their knowledge into good use and _actually_ help people. But so many _doctors_ were like Hojo. So much disruption it made her sick. She’d do anything to _stick it_ to him for what he’d done to her friends.

It was dark. The street lights were turned off for a suspicious reason. Even Dr. Gast’s house seemed empty, judging from the fact that there were no lights coming out of the windows.

Jocasta’s thoughts drifted to the worst. She hurried towards the door, and as she expected, it was open. She pushed the door and walked in. Her eyes widened when she found Ifalna, Gast in her hands lying wounded on the floor. His blood had been leaking out on the floor from multiple wounds on his chest. Ifalna was crying, one hand cupping his face, the other supporting his head on her lap.

Ifalna looked up. Her eyes widened as she recognized Jocasta. She opened her mouth to speak, plead for help, but Jocasta was already on her knees beside them. Her hand instinctively reached for her pocket. She made sure she grabbed the right syringe that contained the newest of her serums. The one she knew it was gonna work. _It had to._ She injected the liquid right into the vessels of his right hand. There was no time to lie him somewhere down and take the bullets out of his body. He’d lost too much blood. She had to do something, _quick._

“W- what’s that?” Ifalna asked, terrified.

“He’s gonna be alright,” Jocasta said reassuringly as she tossed the empty syringe back in her pocket. “What happened?” she asked turning at the Cetra.

“You need to get out of here… It’s a trap!” Ifalna cried out.

Jocasta’s eyes widened once she heard footsteps. A large vehicle’s engines parking outside, and the door snapping open. She immediately turned around seeing a squad of Turks and Shinra soldiers encircling them. Their weapons pointed against them. Jocasta gritted her teeth, her fists clenched as she glanced around her. There was no way out of this _now_. And then she heard the laughter. That laugh she hated the most. _Hojo._

She turned around seeing Hojo entering the house, wearing his usual lab coat. His hands trapped behind his back as he walked forwards.

“Not just a deserter, but a traitor too, I see, Dr. Ernchester. Do you think I’d just let you take my most perfect specimen?” Hojo said.

Jocasta threw a hand on the side protectively over Ifalna and Gast. “I’m not gonna let you take them!”

Hojo laughed “What makes you think you can stop me? I thought you were smarter than that, Dr. Ernchester. I thought that perhaps I could take you all. An extra specimen wouldn’t be a problem. The more the merrier,” he laughed.

Jocasta arched an eyebrow as the idea struck her. She knew it was risky, but it was the only idea she had. If she could spare Ifalna a lifetime of a lab’s torture, she would. She was a Cetra, the last of her kind. She had to protect her.

“What if we make a deal?”

“What could you possibly have that I would want?” Hojo asked.

Jocasta made a step closer “I know how badly you want to decode JENOVA’s genome. What if I told you I’ve already done that?”

“And you expect me to believe you?” Hojo asked incredulously.

“You want me to prove it?” Jocasta asked. She smirked, trying her best to act casual. Trying her best to deliver him the same cockiness he gave her.

His attention seemed piqued as he watched her walking behind him. He felt her hands by his shoulders and her breath tickling his ear as she spoke.

“JENOVA’s genome is made of, not six nucleotides, but four, just like ours. They look like six because adenine and guanine come in two variables. Variables that allow unimaginable things…” she walked around him and then she lent a hand over “…things only you and I can discover. I can’t do this without a brilliant biochemist like you, _Doctor_ ,”

“And what do you want in return?” Hojo asked, almost convinced. But he knew those _fancy_ words weren’t the end of the deal.

“Let them go. They are a chance that you can chase another time. What I offer you, I can easily offer to another of Shinra’s scientists. Someone who will be more _willing_ to take it…” she walked further closer, enjoying that expression on his face that let her know he was actually considering this “…I know you wanna lead this Project, _Doctor._ It’d be a shame if I _helped_ someone else move ahead of you,”

“Do you think I’d just let you?”

“You can’t hurt me, Hojo. I’m protected by the law. I have friends everywhere, I assure you. All these patients of mine. I’ve saved their lives in Midgar’s Upper Level’s Hospitals. All of Shinra’s executives. Even the President,” Jocasta said with a smirk.

Hojo frowned when he realized she was right. He knew the kind of reputation that escorted Jocasta’s name.

“And with Gast gone with his beloved…” she leaned closer whispering “…you’ll have _two_ Cetras to experiment on in a few years,” she fended away.

She could say he _liked_ her treating him the way he treated everybody. With that greedy, manipulative tune in her voice and that smirk on her lips. She’d read a handful of books concerned around psychology. She knew what he wanted. She was just gonna pretend she was giving it to him.

He chuckled. She was unable to read his face, and that made her heartbeat speed up for one brief, tense moment. But then he pulled on that insane smile on his lips and nodded as if he was reaching to a decision in his mind.

“You’re good with words, Dr. Ernchester. I know now why Tedric chose you,” He said and he finally shook her hand “Welcome back to the JENOVA Project, Jocasta,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please lemme know what you guys think!!


	12. Ghosts From the Past

**Present Day**

“She alive?”

“Ya think?”

“Sure, does look like she’s breathing,”

“Then why we gotta carry her ass around with us?!”

“Barret! If we’d let her, she’d die!”

“Not ma problem!”

“Barret!”

“I can hear you, dumbass,” Jocasta groaned as she rubbed her eyes and her temples with a hand. She realized she was in the back of an uncomfortable vehicle. Maybe that was just ‘cause they were four of them -and what looked like a dog- with somebody driving on the front. The vehicle bumped on every little stone it passed on.

Jocasta groaned as her hand found her head and she rubbed the insistent ache away. She looked up and sat straight only to take a clear look of that very _peculiar_ dog and a pretty muscular man with a gun attached to his left arm. A young girl with bangs and a pink dress stared down at her curiously as she offered a hand to help her sit up. An even younger girl, with a wide smile on her face, _barely wearing any clothes,_ was radiating with energy as she leaned closer, wide eyes stared down at her in excitement.

“What’s your name? And how did you end up passing out in the middle of nowhere? Where were you headed? Why are your eyes so strange? Where are you from? And what…”

Jocasta cringed at the sudden blow of endless questions. But the young girl kept throwing them over to her like a thunderstorm. She felt thankful when the other girl cut her. 

“Yuffie! Give her some space,” the girl in the pink dress said.

Yuffie frowned and sat back on her previous position “Fine,”

The girl in the pink dress lent a hand over to her in an attempt to help her sit straight “Are you okay?” she asked, offering a kind smile.

Jocasta knew better than to accept help from a stranger. She sat straight on her own as she eyed the other four curiously. She noticed the three-wheeled blue truck moving over lands she barely had the time to recognize “I… where… who are you?” she asked confusedly. She remembered herself passing out in the middle of nowhere.

The younger girl sat up, throwing a fist in the air “Feast your eyes on Yuffie! The most fearsome ninja this world has ever s-” the young girl let out a shout as the dog purposely passed his tail beneath her feet, making her lose her balance and land back down on her bum “OW!” Yuffie shot the dog a glare.

“I’m Aerith,” the other girl said after sparing the others a smile and then she turned at the muscular guy “That’s Barret,” and then she turned at the dog “And that’s Red XIII,”

 _Aerith…_ There was something so oddly familiar about that name. She’d heard it before, she was sure. _But alas,_ she couldn’t remember. It’s been so long.

“We found you passed out by the-”

Jocasta let out a cry of alarm as she realized the dog had actually _spoken_. Her eyes widened as she pointed a finger at it “Whoah! The dog speaks!”

“Hey! The name’s Red!” Barret cried out as if he was the one she’d insulted.

“It’s quite alright,” Red XIII said reassuringly.

Jocasta remained freaked out for a moment, as she thought back on her rusty knowledge on Medical Science and tested the possibilities of a _dog_ speaking. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes for a second. She groaned. She hadn’t thought anything related to science in the past years. _Not after everything that happened._

“What are you doing?” the ninja’s annoyingly energetic voice came.

Jocasta groaned “Thinking…” her hand dropped off her forehead and she glanced over the dog “Are you… a wolf species? Red-haired… talking… able to live for hundreds of years. You’re from Cosmo Canyon, perhaps?” she spoke out her assumptions.

Red, Barret, and Yuffie looked confusedly at her, though Aerith seemed to _just expect_ her to know.

“Whoaaaahhhh!” Yuffie cried out “How do you-” and then she groaned irritatingly when Barret cut her.

“How do you know all this stuff?” Barret asked.

Jocasta shook her head. She knew Shinra had formed lots of enemies around the globe. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tell them that _once upon a time_ she worked for them. “Some things are better left unsaid,”

“Oh, c’mon!!! Tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us!!! Pretty pleaseeee-” Yuffie pressed.

Jocasta raised a hand, stopping the young ninja “No,” she said firmly.

 _Eat her._ Her demon growled in the back of her mind.

“What the hell, no!” Jocasta whispered under her breath and the others looked at her even more confused.

“Uh… who’re you talkin’ to?” Yuffie asked, and Jocasta thought it was best to ignore answering that question.

Red and Aerith remained silent, but Barret targeted his gun at her “Now hol’ on a sec! You’re too weird to be trusted!” He cried out.

Jocasta just stared at the gun, Aerith placed a hand on his gun stopping him from doing anything further as if she _already_ trusted her. Jocasta arched an eyebrow “Do you think that a girl, a guy with a gun for an arm, a talking dog, and a twelve-year-old, sound like a normal group that I ought to trust?” she asked incredulously. She noticed the vehicle was still moving over the familiar lands she’d crossed before “Where are you headed?”

“Nibelheim,” Aerith answered with a smile, and Barret slowly lowered down his gun.

Jocasta nodded “Ah good, that’s where I was headed. The whole village burned down five years ago. Or so I’ve heard,”

“Yeah, we know the story,” Barret said with a frown.

“Relax, I’ll be off your backs once we get there,” Jocasta said.

“What’s your name?” Aerith asked.

Jocasta sighed. She wasn’t so much into making friends. Whatever friends she once had were _now_ long gone. She wouldn’t bear going through that same pain again. “Joe,” she said plainly.

“Nice to meet you, Joe,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Turned out, the Leader of that weird team was an ex-SOLDIER First Class, or so he claimed to be. His name was Cloud Strife. Tifa, another young girl had been driving the vehicle and they were both sitting at the front. They’d finally reached Nibelheim.

But it wasn’t all ruins buried in ashes. Nibelheim stood exactly as she remembered it thirty years ago. The few houses encircling the small market, greenery surrounding it, and a perfectly functioning Mako Reactor stood by the mountainside. The Shinra Manor was standing in the distance and nothing seemed to have changed.

Cloud and Tifa, from their reactions she guessed they’d grown up into that town. They stared around them as if they’d seen ghosts.

“You said the whole village was torched, yeah?” Barret asked turning at Tifa and Cloud.

Cloud didn’t seem so sure “…yeah,”

While the team exchanged a few more words, Jocasta wandered around the place, recognizing every inch of it. It was strange how thirty years had a minor impact on it. She had been wandering around the world all this time, but she had never gathered the courage to come back to this place. _Not after everything that happened._ She walked towards her house. The house that used to be hers and Lucrecia’s. She wondered if it was still there, standing brand new as everything else did.

She hated the memories that came crawling back in her mind as she walked around its empty silent streets. The house seemed deserted. Her fingers traced the mantra that surrounded it before she opened the small door and entered the front yard.

Large groups of moss had engulfed the outside of the walls. She recognized it immediately as she reached the doorstep. She wasn’t sure if she actually wanted to walk in or just stand outside. Lesser memories crept on her while she stood outside. She thought it was best to keep it that way.

 _What the hell am I doing?!_ She mentally scolded at herself. She walked away from the yard of what once had been her _home._ She made her way back to the empty deserted market where the well stood in the middle. She caught a form from the corner of her eye. She immediately turned around seeing a man in a pitch-black cape. He walked around the place with a continuous series of moans and grunts.

Her hand reached for her Sais that were tied in their cases around her waist. She was a scientist. A doctor who had sworn to _never_ take a life. To do anything to protect and save lives. But that was an oath she had inevitably broken. She’d lost her humanity when she escaped _the lab._ She was no longer the woman she once was. And _besides,_ she had almost thirty years to master how to properly use Sais. How to properly target with an arrow and a bow. But she didn’t grab them just yet. The man didn’t really seem like a threat.

“The… Great… Sephiroth… is near… Reunion… _Reunion…_ ”

The man whispered, struggling to keep walking. He didn’t attack, nor noticed her being there. But her eyes widened. She knew exactly what he meant by _Reunion. Hojo’s Theory._ He was so obsessed with that. She knew that the only place she could find answers was Shinra Manor. _Hojo’s old house._

Jocasta made her way towards the Shinra Manor. It stood abandoned but the same as back then by the mountainside. She pushed open the front rusty metallic entrance and she entered the yard. The greenery had engulfed everything, even the left side wall was wholly hidden beneath thick leaves.

The thick wooden door was already open so she assumed someone else had also entered. It couldn’t have been anyone else except Cloud and his team. Jocasta made her way between the familiar halls and down to the basement where the labs used to be. She walked into Hojo’s lab hoping she could find something. Anything about the _Reunion._ Her hands slipped over the endless folders as her gaze recognized Hojo’s messy handwriting on the labels stuck by the side of the folders.

Jocasta cursed under her breath when she found nothing. After Hojo became head of Shinra’s Department of Research and Development, he moved to the Shinra Tower that stood in the middle of Midgar, taking with him whatever notes concerned around the JENOVA Project.

And _now_ the Shinra Mansion was left abandoned, doomed to be swallowed in dust and greenery.

Jocasta turned around, her eyes examined the familiar lab. White sheets were thrown by the monitors and computers that were attached to the walls, in an effort to keep them from being dusted. She hated that room. That lab. Her fingers clenched into fists. She started regretting she’d entered. She looked at the metallic table that stood in the middle. Metallic cuffs were still standing by each side. Their silvery color was now covered in the deep orange color of rust.

Her hand found her temple as she winced. She could still feel the pain of the needles piercing through her skin. Unleashing chemicals she’d no idea about. But she could still remember them burning beneath her flesh as they rushed through her blood vessels unleashing pain throughout her entire body.

Jocasta’s eyes shut tight for a second as she let out a shaky breath and tried to cast the memory away. He’d tied her onto that very table. A couple of lancets and scissors and knives still laid around, abandoned. 

The memories vanished once she heard footsteps. She turned around. Her one hand found her one Sai on her waist. She recognized the man that stood only a few meters away. The man she had almost watched grow ever since he was an infant. His grey hair fell over his back. His cat-green eyes examined her. Fingers of his left hand fisted around the purple sheath that covered the blade of his sword. 

Jocasta’s breath caught up in her throat. Her fingers tightened around the stem of her Sai. Ready to stand her ground if he was to attack. She felt _that_ guilt. The guilt she’d tried so hard to bury. The young little baby she remembered had become a _monster_. _And it’s my fault._ They’d said he’d died but _no,_ Jocasta knew better than to believe somebody infused with JENOVA cells was ever able to die.

“Sephiroth,” the cursed name escaped her lips as she made a step back. His unnaturally green eyes pierced right through her, but she tried to stand her ground.

“I remember you,” He said, but that smirk didn’t leave his face. That manipulative smirk that he’d definitely inherited from Hojo.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t save you,” Jocasta gritted her teeth as her fists clenched. Painful memories made their way back in her mind. Back to the time when she’d failed to convince Hojo and Lucrecia that what they were doing was a mistake. _A terrible mistake._

For once he looked confused. Of course, he’d never been told about his parents. His _true_ parents. In a blink of an eye, he’d disappeared. Jocasta looked all around her, trying to find him. After she made sure he was actually gone, she sighed and walked out of the lab. _Coming here was a mistake._

She passed through that endless maze of walls to make her way back upstairs and as far away from that place as possible. But she stopped when she heard a familiar voice. She followed it into a room. A room filled with open coffins and leftovers of the dead that were once put into them.

Cloud and the others were in there as an ominous voice came from one of the coffins. Tifa and Aerith both hid behind Cloud. Yuffie clutched behind Barret with Red as the two of them didn’t do a pretty good job at hiding their own obviously frightened expressions.

The coffin snapped open. The team cowered a few steps back as they realized the man who was inside was actually alive “Who is it?!” a deep voice came from the coffin as the man who was in it started stirring up.

He was dressed in leathered black; a red long cape was thrown by his shoulders. A glistering gauntlet was worn in his left hand. Pitch-black bangs fell over that red bandana tied around his head, almost entirely covering his face. His skin was pale. Pale enough to indicate that he was _dead._

 _Dead on the inside? Aren’t we all._ Jocasta held back a chuckle from her demon’s little comment.

Jocasta didn’t recognize him at first. But he had that pale skin as if he was dead. These crimson eyes that spotted her in the room and seemed to recognize her. This pitch-black hair that fell on his face messily.

 _Hojo had said he died._ Of course, she knew that everything that came out of this man’s mouth was a lie.

Jocasta walked forward as Vincent got out of his coffin and stood up on his feet. His eyes examined her and rested on her face. He made a sound of acknowledgment. “Jocasta,”

“Vincent…?” Jocasta said unsurely as she approached him. A hand cupped his cheek after pushing those bangs away so that she could take a clear look on his face. She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. It was _him_. She felt a bunch of tears gathering up in her eyes as she let out a laugh of genuine happiness and disbelief “Oh my God… you’re alive,”

Vincent eyed her for a moment. Her hair was no longer that pale brown color. They were pitch-black and long enough to reach her waist. She too was dressed in black, a grey cape stood around her shoulders long enough to reach her ankles. Her eyes were unnaturally grey, and she was unnaturally still the 26-year-old woman he remembered. It seemed like time hadn’t touched both of them at all.

“What happened to you?” Vincent asked, almost worriedly.

Jocasta shook her head as her gaze focused back on the floor “It’s a long story,”

Vincent just nodded in understanding.

“So, you two know each other?” Cloud asked confusedly.

“Ooh! Are you his girlfriend?!” the ninja’s annoying voice came from behind and Jocasta had to grit her teeth to keep back some _very unpleasant_ words that’d be too much for that kid’s mind.

Vincent turned his attention on the young ex-SOLDIER, ignoring the comment and he just said “The rest of you… I don’t know you. You should leave,” he said before he turned around and walked towards his coffin to get back in it.

“Wait…” Jocasta’s voice stopped him and he turned around to face her “…I saw Sephiroth,”

“You did?!” Cloud asked surprised.

“Where?” Tifa asked.

Yuffie snorted “Who’s that Seph-guy?” oblivious as every single kid of her age.

“Did you kick his ass or what?!” Barret asked.

Jocasta pursed her lips “He disappeared before I could react,”

“They know Sephiroth?” Vincent asked Jocasta as he gave the others a look.

“We do,” Cloud said “Five years ago… he burned down this place. I don’t understand-”

“Shinra rebuilt it. It seems they’re only good at covering up their mistakes instead of actually fixing them,” Vincent remarked.

“Rebuilt it?” Tifa asked surprised.

Vincent nodded “It’s as simple as that…” he turned around “…you should leave. I need more time to atone for my sins,”

“Sins?” Red XIII asked.

Vincent hummed in response “Sephiroth is the product of an experiment. His true mother… Dr. Lucrecia Crescent. I was Dr. Gast’s, Hojo’s, Lucrecia’s…” his gaze found Jocasta as she let out a sigh “…and Jocasta’s bodyguard,”

“Bodyguard?” Cloud asked.

“I was a member of the Turks,”

Barret’s eyes widened “So you two work for Shinra-?!”

“Formerly. Yes,” Jocasta cut him “We hate them as much as you do,”

“So, you’re after Shinra?” Vincent asked.

Cloud nodded.

“Hell, yeah we are!” Yuffie cried out.

“Do you think you’ll meet Hojo along the way?” Vincent asked, finally turning his full attention at the team.

“Not sure. But I suppose we will,” Cloud answered shrugging.

Vincent took a moment to think about it. It sounded like the only shot he got to take his revenge. “I’m coming with you,” Vincent said and Cloud nodded.

“Now hol’ on a sec! How do we know this pale-ass mothafucka’ ain’t gonna suck our blood in our sleep?! For all I know, you’re lookin’ like a freakin’ vampire!” Barret cried out. He turned at Jocasta “And you ain’t lookin’ any different!”

Jocasta pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “We are no vampires. We’re two of Hojo’s lab-rats and we seek revenge. I assure you; I’d do anything to hold Hojo account for what he’s done,”

“I used to be a Turk. I could lend a hand,” Vincent said.

“And I used to be a doctor. Seeing you’re in for a long ride, this team needs one,” Jocasta said.

The team exchanged a few glances before they nodded at each other and finally gave their answer. “Alright.” Cloud said “We need to get going,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	13. Nightmares

The sun was hot. Its heat ruthlessly hit against the slowly dying greenery. Whatever was left of life, surely was being wiped away day by day. It was no doubt that Shinra had made excessive use of Mako. The Lifestream. Jocasta knew that she probably should share that same hate for Shinra as her new comrades did. But she didn’t feel that same _hate_ she felt for Hojo.

She looked at her hand as her fingers clenched into a fist. Sure, she helped, _but he_ was the one who turned her into the monster she _now_ was. She could hear that voice inside her head. Her _own_ demon’s voice whispering things she better chose to ignore. But she couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t going to allow herself to sleep. She’d be seeing things again. Nightmares.

She’d spent endless nights trying not to give in to the exhaustion. Tried so hard not to keep her eyes closed long enough to allow sleep take her. She was so _done_ with the nightmares. So, _done_ with science. _Once upon a time,_ she too would sacrifice everything for science. She’d sacrificed a part of her own humanity for that thrill, that rush of adrenaline in her veins, that was science.

But Hojo was the one who _pulled the trigger_. He was the one that pushed her to the edges of insanity. Turned against her and experimented on her even though she’d shared her most valuable discoveries.

Jocasta smiled. For no reason really. Maybe she thought of what she was planning to do to him. _Hojo._ How blissfully tight his flesh would wield to the cold steel of her Sais. She wanted to feel his hot crimson blood splashing against her clothes and bathing her hands in it.

Her head fell back against the metal of the vehicle. Night had arrived. Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith were sitting at the front, driving restlessly over the wastelands of Gaia. Barret’s snoring was unbearable, but thankfully, Red was sleeping quietly in peace. At some point, she felt grateful for Barret’s snoring. It kept her awake. Though she couldn’t understand how Red even got to fall asleep beside his loud _buddy._ Yuffie falling asleep in an instant wasn’t surprising at all. The young ninja would have all the energy to get on her nerves by the morning. 

Vincent was sitting across her. One hand propped against his bent knee as his back rested back on the metal. His gaze focused somewhere she couldn’t tell, but he sure wasn’t _there._ So many thoughts echoed in his mind he was practically drowning in them, and she could pretty much say from that unreadable expression on his face. His eyes were a darker shade of red than she’d remembered. His voice was deeper than before. It seemed like his own demon had its own effects on him. 

“I don’t see anything funny,”

Her eyes snapped back up at him. He’d probably noticed that smirk on her face that had curved over her lips without her noticing.

“Don’t mind me,” She said “Just thinking about all the terrible things I can do to Hojo once I get my hands on him,”

Vincent chuckled, obviously he was sharing that feeling. His crimson eyes found her “You should sleep,”

She wrapped her hands around her middle as the cold breeze penetrated her clothes. A hand found her cloak and she tucked it closer to her. She always felt cold when she was tired. And Vincent was right. _She was_ exhausted. But, _alas,_ she couldn’t sleep. She wouldn’t dare to.

Jocasta shook her head “I can’t,”

Vincent looked at her with clear confusion in his eyes. At some point, he just hoped that what had happened to him, hadn’t happened to her as well.

“Too many nightmares,” she said in an attempt to quench his curiosity, but that confused gleam on his eyes didn’t leave just yet.

“What happened to you?” He asked.

Her eyes closed for a second tiredly and she let out a heavy sigh. It wasn’t a question she wanted to answer. “I tried to help and help and help… all I end up doing is fucking up,” her hand reached for her face as she rubbed her forehead.

On second thought, maybe sleeping with dreadful nightmares sounded like something she’d deserved. All that guilt. All _these sins._ Maybe she deserved this fate bestowed upon her. That endless _torment._

“You’re right, I should sleep,” she said and with that, she cut his urge to ask any other questions, and she closed her eyes. Her head fell to the side as sleep instantly took her.

Vincent sighed. There was undoubtedly a lot of events that took place when he decided to turn his back on everything and drown in his own guilt. In his own sins. He knew he deserved his fate as well. An eternal torment of endless battling with Chaos trying to keep control of his own body. Another reason why he locked himself up. He didn’t want any more sins added on his conscience.

It was dangerous having people around him. Dangerous for _them_. He would hurt and take more lives should Chaos take control of his body. He still remembered the first time his body shapeshifted into the Gallian Beast. Staring frightened down his clawed hands, his feet. His own body, a body that he no longer recognized. He’d become a monster, and thirty years were not enough for him to accept that.

He looked at the gauntlet worn on his one hand. He remembered that _laughter._ Hojo’s maniacal laughter when he tore his left hand off his body and replaced it with a metallic gauntlet. Wires and machinery attached where the left hand used to be. His own cry of pain was still loud in his ears when his own limb was detached from his body.

He never thought he’d get to this. He never thought things would go so downhill. He remembered his picnics with Lucrecia. The soft caress of the warm breeze. The chirping of birds, the soft buzz of insects that resided in the soft grass of the fields of Nibelheim. He remembered that sweet curve on her lips whenever she smiled. The sound of her laughter, that sounded like the sweetest melody to vibrate through his eardrums.

This was such a long time ago yet it only felt like it’d happened _yesterday._ He thought he could save her when he entered that Mansion and proceeded to talk to Hojo alone. He couldn’t talk while she was around. She was his weakness. Somebody he’d never _dare_ to shout at.

His eyes drifted at Jocasta. An expression of pain wrinkled over the muscles of her face. She was having a nightmare. A nightmare much like his. He remembered how much willing she was to help Gast protect his beloved. Somebody she’d never met. Yet she was still willing to risk it all and help the last of the Ancients.

And _now_ he couldn’t help but notice the Sais hanging from her belt. The daggers fitted in their cases by her wrists. Her quiver and her bow settled on her back. The bloodstains on her grey cloak that surrounded her whole body. Jocasta had _killed_. Or at least she’d learned how to kill. She had broken her oath as a doctor, and she had actually taken a life instead of saving it.

He couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her. She didn’t seem so keen on _spilling it out_. It was something painful. Something she thought it was better to keep locked up in a secret spot in the back of her mind. He wasn’t going to force the answer out of her. Not as long as it was obviously something that hurt her.

_“Vincent…”_

His eyes snapped up for just a moment not really sure if it was her voice or the voices inside his head calling out his name.

“Vincent… n- no…”

His crimson eyes examined her. Her hands had grabbed fistfuls of her cloak, her eyes shut tightly and her lips trembled. Vincent pursed his lips. He wasn’t sure if waking her from a nightmare, and interrupting a much-needed rest, was a good idea. But he knew these nightmares. He had a fair share of his own. Resting wasn’t much of an option.

Vincent knelt beside her. His hand lifted up, hesitantly touching her cheek with the back of his fingers.

Jocasta’s eyes snapped open. She drew in a deep, shaky breath as her body arched up. Vincent fended away, hoping he hadn’t hurt her in any way.

“You were having a nightmare,” he stated on his defense as her eyes found him.

Jocasta relaxed, falling back on the metal of the vehicle. She sighed heavily as her hand found her sweaty temples and she rubbed the vision away. “I’m sorry,” she apologized “Did I wake you?”

Vincent shook his head “I wasn’t sleeping,” he settled back to his previous position in the same stance.

Jocasta’s head fell back on the metal “It makes sense that you too have nightmares,” she chuckled bitterly “I regret to this day that I never bothered to read Lucrecia’s thesis,”

“Lucrecia’s… thesis?” Vincent asked confusedly.

Jocasta arched an eyebrow “Wait… you mean, she never told you about that?”

From the silence that followed, she could say that she hadn’t. Jocasta chuckled bitterly. _Of course, she didn’t._ She shook her head. It was best if he didn’t know. He thought it was only Hojo conducting experiments on his body that got him to wherever he was. He didn’t know that Lucrecia actually prolonged his torment, adding a demon and resurrecting him. _And I helped._ Jocasta’s frown deepened and she looked away. It was best if he didn’t know that.

“It’s nothing important anyway,” she tried to lie, but she could tell she wasn’t fooling him. She never did.

Nevertheless, Vincent didn’t try to ask any more questions and just thought it was best to leave it at that. He noted at the back of his mind that he should probably ask another time. _But not now._ They had to focus on the task at hand.


	14. Rocket Town

The intense smell of smoke led them to Rocket Town. An entire town owned by rocket scientists. Jocasta had visited the place before. _Maybe fifteen years ago._ But it didn’t matter. The town hadn’t changed one bit. Except for maybe that abandoned rocket by the old Shinra base established by the forest.

Shinra had once launched a space program, dedicated to explore the vastness of space. After an accident though, and due to small amount of gil to spare, Shinra shut down the program a few years ago.

The team made their way in Rocket Town. The town was small, but still filled with people walking around the market and the streets. Cloud asked around about the smoke. It looked like the smoke came from the old rusty rocket that was stuck in the base. That same rocket that never took off.

Cloud set off to investigate it, while the others hang around town to kill some time. Jocasta bought a few potions and a few more arrows that should be enough to fill her almost empty quiver. Killing monsters that lurked in the wilderness of the planet had left her with almost no arrows at all.

She set everything on her back and she turned around to check on Vincent. They’d both agreed to take a look at the weapon store, see what they could find useful to buy. Vincent was definitely out of bullets. _Well he has been off-world for 30 years._

Jocasta expected him to still be looking for bullets, but he just stared at her in surprise and confusion. She arched an eyebrow “What?”

“You fight?” He asked.

Jocasta chuckled, as if it was a ridiculous thing to ask. “How do you think I survived thirty years on my own?”

Vincent’s gaze slipped on the wooden floor of the store as he noted to himself that it was indeed _a stupid_ question. But at some point, he genuinely felt worried for her. He struggled to keep himself from spelling out questions he knew she was going to avoid answering. She seemed like she already knew what had happened to him. She probably knew more than he did. _Definitely._

She sighed “I’m no longer the woman you remember, Vincent. And you’re no longer the man I remember,”

Vincent nodded “I know,” he said dryly, before he set off to finish his purchase.

Jocasta waited for him by the doorstep of the store. When he finished, they exited together and walked back into the busy streets of Rocket Town. At least that town wasn’t filled with _Ghosts._ Sephiroth’s puppets that lurked in Nibelheim was a whole different kind of thing.

They returned back to the rendezvous point where they had agreed to meet up with Cloud and the others. They were all waiting in the market, conversing with each other. They turned their attention back at Jocasta and Vincent.

“Ooh!! Here comes the couple!!!” Yuffie teased.

Jocasta and Vincent both chose to ignore the comment. Jocasta placed a hand on her waist as she turned at Cloud and asked “So what do we do now, boss?”

“I met the captain of Shinra’s Rocket No. 26. He said Rufus will be coming here soon to talk business. The Captain’s inviting us all for tea,” Cloud explained.

“How did you get him to invite us for tea?” Yuffie asked raising an eyebrow.

Cloud smirked “SOLDIER-style,”

“Rufus gonna be here?!” Barret cried out excitedly as he started preparing his gun

“Let’s go kick some Shinra ass!” Yuffie threw a fist in the air but Tifa stopped them both.

“Guys, it would be best if we didn’t all march in like this. We don’t wanna destroy the Captain’s house. I don’t wanna get him involved. This is our fight,” Tifa said.

“Tifa’s right. Vincent, Jocasta, you’re coming with me. The rest of you, keep a watch around town. Get some more information on that Space Program that had been canceled. Call me should any of you see Rufus arriving,” Cloud said, determination pictured on his face.

The others nodded before they set off in different directions to complete the task. Vincent and Jocasta followed Cloud to the Captain’s house. A young woman in a lab coat was inside, her hair was picked back in a ponytail. Jocasta frowned as the woman reminded her of Lucrecia at some point. She had glasses standing by the bridge of her nose and she seemed to recognize Cloud.

“Cloud-” she opened her mouth to speak, but the door snapped open and walked in someone who Jocasta assumed was the Captain.

“Shera! What the hell are ya doin’?! We have guests! Where’s that GODDAMN TEA!” the blonde Captain cried out rudely.

Jocasta arched an eyebrow as she stared at the man who must have been in his thirties.

“Y- yes, I’m sorry,” Shera stuttered before she set off immediately to serve a few cups of tea on the table of the living room.

“Really, don’t mind us,” Cloud said kindly.

“Shut up! Sit down in those chairs and drink your GODDAMN TEA!” The Captain cried out.

The trio exchanged a few awkward looks before they did as they were asked.

“My name’s Cid. Cid Highwind,” Cid said as his attention fell on his _guests_.

Jocasta chuckled “I had a few patients with the last name Highwind,” she couldn’t believe she had actually just said that out loud.

“What?” Cid asked confusedly “What’s your name again?”

“Jocasta…” she sighed “…Ernchester,” and she hoped none of both had ever heard that name.

“What?!” Shera asked incredulously “Dr. Ernchester died twenty-eight years ago,” she said as she sat in a chair beside Cid’s.

“Oh, I bet Shinra put up a fancy funeral on my name,” Jocasta spat hatefully. Even pronouncing _Shinra_ made her sick.

“The hell you talkin’ about, woman!?” Cid cried out turning at Shera “This is a kid! She should be lookin’ like a freakin’ grandma,”

“Long story,” Jocasta said before taking a sip of her tea.

Cid groaned as he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and got up “I ain’t in for any bullshit right now! I’mma be smokin’ in the backyard,” he declared before he stormed out of the room. 

Shera sighed, before she picked up the empty cups of tea and she set off to place them on a tray and take them to the kitchen.

“Shera…” Cloud spoke up “…what happened?”

“Yeah, what’s with Cid treating you like that? And how can you just sit around and take it? If it were me, I’d have kicked his foul-mouthed ass,” Jocasta said, she could notice Vincent smirking for a moment.

“I’m sure you would,” He said and she gave him a brief smile before she turned her attention back at Shera.

Apparently, it was Shera’s fault that Rocket No. 26 never took off. There was an issue with the oxygen tanks that Shera had to take care of, and in the end, Cid would have to choose between achieving his dream and saving the woman he loved. Jocasta just shook her head while Shera explained the story. 

It was strange how people would abandon everything for _love._ Jocasta had _once_ felt that. The feeling of throwing everything aside, even what’s she held most dear, for a treacherous emotion that nobody can ever be sure it’s real. She’d traded away her humanity for science, something she’d _loved._ Of course, Hojo added his monstrous touches on her genome that deteriorated things.

Jocasta shook her head. She didn’t wanna think about it. It’s been twenty-eight years and yet she still couldn’t shake the memories away. All these syringes. All these needles unleashing _who knows what_ into her body while Hojo kept her restrained with metallic cuffs against his lab’s bench.

She’d never sign for anything like that. She’d never let anything like that happen on anybody. He’d backstabbed her just like she’d backstabbed him with the very same _knife._

She felt a hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of her endless thoughts “You’re here?” she turned and saw it was Cloud.

Jocasta nodded.

“Let’s check on the Tiny Bronco…” Cloud said as he got up from his chair “Cid’s airplane. We could use that to find the Temple of the Ancients,” he explained.

Jocasta and Vincent nodded, silently as usual, and they followed Cloud as he took them to Cid in the backyard where the Tiny Bronco rested. Of course, they never got to exit the house before Cid walked back in.

“Shera! Where’s that GODDAMN TEA!?” Cid cried out as he returned, a cigarette rolled around his lips as he talked.

“I- I’m sorry…” Shera said before she started serving another series of cups of tea.

“You three! Get your asses on these chairs! Ain’t my hospitality good enough for ya?!” Cid cried out.

Cloud, Vincent and Jocasta just sat back down and avoided answering the question. The Captain was pissed almost all the time. His hands fisted.

“Dammit! They’re late! Where the hell is Rufus!”

A fat old man walked in. Not just any old man. Jocasta’s eyes widened. _Palmer._ She turned her head to the side, hoping he wouldn’t recognize her.

“Hey, hey! Long time no see! So, Cid, how ya been?” Palmer asked.

“Well if it ain’t fat man, Palmer. How long were you figurin’ on keepin’ me waitin’, eh?!” Cid said as he woke up and walked towards Palmer lending a hand over for a handshake “So? When’s the Space Program gonna start up again?”

“The President’s outside. How about you go ask him?” Palmer suggested.

“Alright,” Cid walked out.

Palmer’s attention fell on the other three and especially, Jocasta. She rolled her eyes. _Please don’t._

“Dr. Ernchester?! Oh ho ho! Hojo would be pleased to know you survived,” Palmer said with a laugh as he trapped his hands behind his back.

“I hope I get the chance to kill you before diabetes does, old man,” Jocasta said as she got up from her chair and crossed her hands against her chest.

Palmer laughed, a hand clutching on his stomach. He tapped his fat belly “I try to keep it at bay,” he walked towards the table where the tea was served “Oooh!! Tea! Can I have some tea?” he turned at Shera “With lots and lots of sugar and honey and… don’t forget the lard!”

Jocasta rolled her eyes “I guess diabetes’s gonna kill him sooner than I will,”

“Let’s go,” Cloud said before he walked out of the house with the other two following closely behind.

Cid’s voice came frustrated. The young President stood in his white coat. Hands crossed against his chest as he listened to the disappointed pilot’s protesting.

“What the?! You got me all excited for nothin’?! What the hell you come here for?!”

“I want to borrow the Tiny Bronco,” Rufus said “We’re going after Sephiroth. But seems like we’ve been going the wrong direction. Even though now, we know where he’s headed, we have to cross the ocean. That’s why we want your plane,”

“For fuck’s sake! First the Airship, then the Rocket, and now the Tiny Bronco. Shinra took outer space away from me and now you want to take the sky away from me too?!” Cid cried out exasperatedly.

“You seem to forget it was because of Shinra that you were able to fly in the first place,”

“Excuse me,” Jocasta heard Shera’s voice coming from the doorstep. The trio turned at her as she further opened the door of the house and nudged them all to get back in the house.

They followed her as they shut the door behind.

“You wanted to use the Tiny Bronco, didn’t you?” Shera asked.

“Yeah?” Cloud answered.

“I believe Palmer’s going to take it. Don’t let him do it! Cid’s gonna be devastated,” Shera said worriedly.

Cloud nodded at her before he ran towards the door that led to the backyard where the Tiny Bronco was supposed to be. The other two followed closely behind. The Tiny Bronco was a small red airplane that could be of use. Shera was right. Shinra should just stop taking, and taking stuff from people.

“We’ll be taking the Tiny Bronco,” Cloud said.

Palmer was already on the Tiny Bronco, mumbling stuff to himself that Jocasta didn’t care to pay any attention to. He got off the Tiny Bronco, a smirk on his face as he pulled out his gun.

“I’ve seen you too somewhere before. That’s right! The Shinra Building! When the President was killed!” Palmer said as the realization hit him “Well, well, I guess it’s time to teach you, kids, a lesson,”

Jocasta rolled her eyes “Yeah right,” her hand reached back for an arrow. Her moves were so fast, Palmer didn’t even have the chance to pull the trigger of his gun. An arrow found his chest and his blood trailed out on the grass as his carcass landed on it.

Vincent’s eyes widened for a moment, before he reminded himself that he shouldn’t be surprised. He just couldn’t bring himself to believe that the woman he once knew, the Doctor that was willing to risk everything to save lives, was _now_ so keen into taking them. But he couldn’t blame her though. There were so many things Shinra had put them through. _All that suffering._ He sighed heavily.

Cloud let down his guard, placing his Buster Sword on his back “That’ll do,”

Then the Tiny Bronco had started already moving. Jocasta groaned as she watched Cloud and Vincent hurrying towards it and climbing on it.

 _Shit!_ She mentally cursed as she jumped just in time before the airplane started moving away. Her fingers kept her up, gripping on one wing, her whole body hanging from the edge. She gritted her teeth, not really sure if she could hold herself up for much longer. She looked beneath her realizing they’d started gaining height.

Just before her hand slipped, a clawed arm grabbed hers. Jocasta looked up seeing Vincent. He let out a soft grunt as he pulled her up, with no much effort whatsoever. Jocasta let out a sigh of relief as she balanced on the wing of the airplane. A sudden shift from Cloud’s clumsy piloting, made her stumble across Vincent. Palms and forehead pressed against his chest for just a moment. She felt his hands around her, in an effort to keep her safe and close.

Jocasta looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. Her whole body shook. “We’re gonna die?!” she cried out, terrified. She’d never realized she hated heights that much.

“Just don’t look down,” Vincent said calmly before he let go of her and set off immediately to start piloting the airplane, ‘cause, Cloud _apparently_ had no idea how to do it. Vincent just hoped it was similar to piloting a helicopter. He did his best to stabilize it, and Cloud stood by the other wing watching Cid running right beneath the airplane.

Jocasta let out a sigh. They weren’t _that_ high after all.

Aerith, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, and Red followed running from behind alongside a frustrated Cid.

“Yooooo guys!!! What the hell?!” Yuffie cried out waving her hand.

“Cloud!” Tifa cried out.

“The hell you guys doin’?!” Barret cried out.

Red XIII jumped high enough to reach the wing where Jocasta stood on.

“Wait for me, Red!” Barret cried out.

“You assholes stealin’ my goddamn plane?!” Cid cried out angrily as he breathlessly ran trying to catch up with the airplane.

“We didn’t want Shinra to take it!” Cloud cried out “We’re after Sephiroth too!”

“I don’t give a fu-”

“Vincent! Can’t you land this somewhere?!” Jocasta cried out and Vincent shot her a deadly look, letting her know that her question was stupid. There was no space below them to land.

“Over there!” Red’s voice came from beside. Vincent looked at the place Red was nudging them at. There was an empty spot by the beach, right before the vast ocean expanded.

Vincent nodded. He knew how to drive helicopters only, not airplanes by any chance. But he thought that maybe he could _improvise._

“Just pull that goddamn lever!” Cid cried out, breathlessly.

Vincent looked at the control panel. There were _five levers_. He pursed his lips. _So helpful._

He didn’t get to do much anyway. Shinra troops started shooting bombs towards the Tiny Bronco. Some of them hit them, some others he tried his best to avoid maneuvering around the place, losing sight of Cid and the other three for a brief moment.

Jocasta’s hands grabbed tightly on the wing she knelt on. She let out a cry of alarm. She noticed a bullet flying her way. She instantly grabbed one of her Sais and she spun it around to cut the bullet in half before it reached her. She saw another bullet flying towards the turbine beside her, engulfing it in flames.

Red had clutched his nails on the metal of the wing. His massive fangs gritted together.

Jocasta turned around in an attempt to see where they were heading. Her eyes widened as she realized they were going to crash in the ocean beneath them “Uh… VINCENT!”

Vincent didn’t answer whatsoever. The airplane finally hit the ocean unceremoniously, crashing it into pieces. Only a small part of it was left out of the water on which, Vincent, Cloud, Red, and Jocasta tried to stay on.

Thankfully, they hadn’t fallen further off the beach. The four of them dragged whatever was left of the airplane back on the shore, where Cid and the other three were waiting.

Cid let out a cry of exasperation “Fucking PERFECT! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!”

Cloud sighed and he crossed his arms against his chest “There’s no way we can get across now,”

“Well, we could use it as a boat,” Yuffie said optimistically.

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?!” Cid cried out “I mean… look at it!” he pointed at the airplane. _Or whatever was left of it._

“Guys!” Aerith cut in, catching everybody’s attention “We have to try. I need to get to that temple,”

Jocasta tried to ask _why._ They really hadn’t filled her in with the situation. But Cid cut her, he groaned loudly “Fuck it! I’ll make you your goddamn boat if you promise to leave the hell outta here!”

“It’s a deal,” Cloud said nodding.

Cid released out another series of _unpleasant_ curses and he started making his way back to the town to grab whatever tools he’d need.

Vincent sighed “I’ll go help him out,” he announced before he started following Cid on his way to the town. Cid’s curses came from the distance, but he eventually accepted the help.

“Damn, that old man… what a grump,”

Jocasta ignored Yuffie’s comment as she turned at the team and crossed her hands against her chest “Remind me why we need to get to that temple again?”

The team exchanged a few glances and a few nods as they seemed to have reached a decision. Cloud turned at Jocasta “Aerith is an Ancient,”

Jocasta’s eyes widened. Only _now_ did she know why _Aerith_ sounded familiar. It was a long-lost memory that still coursed through the neurons of her brain. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as everything started making sense _now._ She could see Ifalna in her. The girl was the spitting image of her mother. Guilt crept inside of her. _I failed her too._

“I see,” Jocasta said simply.

Her gaze focused on the sand of the beach they stood on. It was probably a good idea to keep her own story hidden for as long as she could. But if she knew about the Cetra as much as she thought she did, she knew she couldn’t lie at Aerith. Maybe she could fool the others, and even herself. But _not her._


	15. The Keystone

Cid and Vincent came back shortly, with a few cases filled with tools and a few bags filled with spare parts that he was probably gonna use to repair the engine. Vincent and Shera helped him carry the stuff. They placed them by the sand near the destroyed airplane and Vincent let Cid and Shera do the work, fending away.

Barret, Red, Tifa, Yuffie, and Cloud had set off to find some wood for a campfire whilst Jocasta agreed to take care of Aerith, sitting on an abandoned bark of a tree. Jocasta remained silent as she watched Cid cursing and pulling together the parts with Shera beside him handing him tools. Vincent was staring at the sunset, _probably brooding over some long-lost memory._

The sky was filled with only a few clouds. The dusk’s orange merged with the sky’s blue creating a magnificent purple color that touched the clouds. It was peaceful _if you chose to ignore Cid’s cursing._

“Where are the others?” Vincent’s voice came, and she snapped her eyes up at him.

“Gathering wood for the campfire,” Jocasta answered briefly.

Vincent let out a hum of acknowledgment and he turned around to check on Cid and Shera

Jocasta gave Aerith a look. The girl seemed lost in thought. It was unlikely for her to be quiet like that, at least that’s what Cloud told her worriedly before they went in search of wood. Jocasta knew the situation was complicated. Only a Cetra could defeat Sephiroth. Jocasta looked at her hands. A monster she had failed to stop the creation of. Another boy she’d failed to save.

“So, you’re Jocasta Ernchester,” Aerith spoke.

Jocasta sighed. “Yeah,”

“My mom told me about you. You tried to save us,” Aerith said.

Jocasta shook her head “No… I failed you. I failed you both…” she could feel tears gathering up in her eyes as she remembered what happened “…I tried to keep him distracted as long as I could…” she was talking about Hojo, of course. Every fault of the world’s current state narrowed over that _cursed_ scientist.

She’d given him all she had discovered on the JENOVA Project. Her entire life’s work. She did anything she could to keep his mind off the Ancient, her husband and her newborn child. She tried to give them their freedom for as long as possible. But it all went in vain. Hojo had Turks following Dr. Gast’s footsteps ever since the beginning.

Aerith chuckled, as she lifted her face up and looked at Jocasta. She gave her a bright smile “You did all you could. That’s what matters,”

“But-”

“All is forgiven,” Aerith said.

Jocasta looked at the young girl’s smile for a brief moment, before her gaze drifted back on the sand that surrounded her boots. She sighed again. How could the very person she’d wronged, forgive her so easily? Just like that. _All is forgiven._ And it sounded like she meant it. _It was my fault her mother died_ yet she forgave her easier than she could ever forgive herself. 

Then the others arrived, setting up a fire. Jocasta and Vincent helped them out to set up camp. Two tents weren’t enough to house nine people. Jocasta and Vincent agreed to sleep outside and keep watch in shifts.

Jocasta had sat down on the soft sand, her back against the fallen tree trunk. Her head rolled back as she stared at the endless sky that spread vastly above her. The stars, _countless_ , shiny dots that spread _who knows_ how far away. Some of them were planets, some others even galaxies, and others just stars. The moon stood half and large in the middle. The lights reflected perfectly on the sea’s calm waters. The sound of waves gently hugging the shore soothed her nerves and made her close her eyes for just a mere second.

“I’ll take the first watch,” She heard Vincent saying.

Her eyes snapped open as her body jumped up “No, no, no. I’ll take the first watch. You need to rest,” she walked towards him, hands wrapped against her middle as the gentle breeze brushed against her body.

Vincent stared down at her “You know I can’t do that,”

“Please,” She placed a hand by his shoulder. Vincent nearly flinched away but changed his mind in the last second. “You haven’t slept in two days,”

Vincent sighed. He brushed his nose against his collar and closed his eyes briefly. She was right. He was tired. But he knew he wasn’t into the mood for another nightmare.

He sighed heavily “Alright,” He said “Wake me up if I-”

“I will,” she said reassuringly.

Vincent gave her a grateful nod before he set off to sit down on his own spot on the sand and rest for as much as he could.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

She felt a hand touching her shoulder and she slowly stirred from her deep sleep. After she’d kept watch last night, Vincent woke up and insisted he’d take the next shift. Everything was calm, with no threats around them during the night.

Jocasta opened her eyes, allowing the sunlight to enter her blurry vision. The first thing she laid her eyes on was a pair of crimson eyes staring down at her. Vincent had knelt beside her, his clawed arm rested upon his one knee, nose nuzzled over his collar, black bangs of his messy hair fell on his face.

“The others have come up with a plan. Come on,” Vincent said as he lent a hand over to her.

Jocasta took his hand as he pushed her back on her feet, and the two of them approached the others. Jocasta glanced over at the ‘airplane’ where Cid and Shera were still working on the engine. Cloud and the team were gathered around and when Jocasta and Vincent reached them, they paused whatever they were discussing and looked at the two.

“Alright,” Cloud said “Now that everybody’s here…” he turned at Aerith “…tell them what you told me,”

Aerith took a deep breath and she glanced over the others. Her hands wrapped in each other as she spoke “The only way to access the Temple of the Ancients is to bring the Keystone,” she explained “In the Gold Saucer,”

“OH MY GOSH, are we going back to the Gold Saucer?!” Yuffie cried out excitedly.

“What?!” Tifa asked.

“Are fuckin’ kiddin’ me?!” Barret cried out.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Tifa asked.

Aerith shook her head and groaned “I don’t know. I hear… voices inside my head. They tell me what must be done, and _when_ it must be done,” she said.

Jocasta gritted her teeth when the realization hit her. She hadn’t studied the Cetra as much as Hojo and Gast did. But she had definitely studied some stuff when she was working on the JENOVA Project. The Ancients could _commune_ with the planet and bend the Lifestream to their will. _So…_

“The voices you’re hearing… they come directly from the planet. It’s those who died, who lived, who returned. You’re listening to the planet’s will expressed by their voices inside your head. You’re the only one who can hear them ‘cause you’re the last Cetra left,” Jocasta explained.

Aerith’s gaze drifted away “Perhaps you’re right,”

“Alright then! Whatever she orders, we do,” Barret said with a smirk.

“You guys off to the Gold Saucer then?” Shera came walking towards them, a hand rested in the pocket of her lab coat. Cid followed behind with a screwdriver in his hand and a cigarette trapped between his lips.

“Yeah,” Cloud said nodding.

“Uh… wait,” Cid sighed as he scratched the back of his head and let out a sigh “So, what are your guys’ deal? You after that Sephiroth guy?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Cloud nodded.

“And Shinra! These bastards are gonna be gettin’ what they deserve!” Barret said.

“Yeah! I’mma give ‘em a taste of pain a la Yuffie!” the twelve-year-old cried out.

“I know right! Fuck these people! They destroyed my goddamn dream, and then the Tiny Bronco!” Cid cried out as he spent another look at the fragments scoured around the beach of what used to be an airplane.

“Alright, so how about you join us?” Cloud suggested.

Cid took a moment to think about it. He spared Shera a look and once he saw her nodding approvingly, he turned at the others “Ah fuck it, I ain’t got anything better to do anyway!”

“Great! Welcome to the fam’, Highwind,” Barret said as he patted Cid’s back a little too harshly, making him stumble forward and shoot him a glare.

“We’ll be right back,” Tifa said and Shera nodded.

The team rushed back to their three-wheeled blue truck of theirs and drove to the Gold Saucer.


	16. The Gold Saucer

Jocasta couldn’t say she liked the _Gold Saucer._ It was a place where people were supposed to go and have fun. But as a scientist, the only reason she’d once went to the Gold Saucer was to treat a patient _a long, long time ago._ Which wasn’t surprising. All these rollercoasters and jump-scaring tunnels brought lots of heart attacks to sensitive visitors. Other than that, _Fun_ wasn’t really part of her schedule. There was just no room for it.

Cloud and the team exited the tram that had taken them there. They stretched their arms and legs for a moment after the long ride and they turned at their leader.

“So, what now, Strife?” Cid asked, resting his hands by his waist.

Cloud eyed them as they gathered around him, he crossed his arms against his chest and parted his lips “Aerith, Tifa, you’re coming with me to look for the Keystone. The rest of you keep a look around. If you see any Shinra troops or any Turks, contact me,” 

“You got it!” Barret nodded.

Aerith, Tifa, and Cloud hurried towards the main building, and Jocasta, Vincent, Barret, Red, Yuffie, and Cid turned at each other.

“We’d be better if we split up,” Red suggested.

“Alright! I’m goin’ with Red. This hard-ass mothafucka’ here will go with the brat,” Barret said as he placed a hand by Cid’s shoulder.

“Hey!”

“Hey!”

Both Cid and Yuffie protested but Barret ignored them and turned at Jocasta and Vincent “And you two vamps have a look over the other side of the park, will ya?”

Jocasta and Vincent just nodded before they started walking around the place in their usual silence. Everything seemed normal. There were lots of customers around having fun with the numerous games that were spread around the place. Basically, wasting their money on nothing essential. Jocasta shrugged, _I guess it’s… fun._

It’s been so long since she’d actually enjoyed something, and that wasn’t a game, nor a date, nor a conversation. It was her _sweet, sweet science,_ but after everything that had happened to her because of _that science,_ she’d come to hate that one thing she used to cherish the most. Her job. Her _former_ job that is _._

Jocasta let out another heavy sigh and Vincent eyed her for a brief moment before he turned his gaze back on the crowd and the lights of the park around them.

“Ever been here before?” Jocasta asked.

“Back when I was a Turk, yes. It has changed,” Vincent admitted.

“Yeah,” Jocasta agreed, her gaze locked on the soil they walked on.

It was pretty obvious that something was bothering her, and maybe that _something_ was her past. The past she wasn’t talking about. Vincent wanted to know what had happened to her. He fell _that worry_ he hadn’t felt for somebody in a while. She was the only person from his past, the only person that knew him and understood him better than anyone. They were _friends_ and the mere thought of her having passed the same torment he had, it angered him. But he wasn’t one to show that anger. Those _emotions._

“Jocasta,” His deep voice came from beside her. He placed his clawed hand by her shoulder pausing their walk for a second. She turned and faced him, eyes looked at him curiously.

“Yes?”

He pursed his lips and sighed. Maybe he shouldn’t be asking her, but he needed answers. “Hojo…” he felt disgusted even spelling that name “…what did he do to you?”

Jocasta’s gaze slipped back down and she turned her back on him. Teeth gritted together and fists clenched. She pushed her sleeve up, grabbed her dagger, and sliced a large cut on her arm that started bleeding.

Vincent’s eyes widened for a moment and he nearly tried to stop her, but then he saw the wound closing up on its own. No blood, no grunts of pain. The cut skin stuck up together again as if she’d never cut it.

“That wasn’t Hojo. That was me,” She said. Bitterness colored her voice.

“You… experimented… on yourself?!” Vincent scoffed. It was unbelievable. His fists clenched. How far could scientists go for their research? He couldn’t believe that the very woman who had tried to object on the Sephiroth Project, had actually done something far worse.

Jocasta shook her head “No… I was trying to hide them… from him. I hid them… inside me,” her eyes looked over the wrist of her left hand where multiple marks were made from numerous injections. 

Vincent’s eyes widened for a moment. He wasn’t sure what she was talking about. That mere stuttering made him even more worried, even more curious “What?”

She turned around and faced him “Hojo tried to kill Gast and drag the Cetra in his labs for research. I stopped him. I made a deal. Remember? My notebooks? My discoveries? They’re all in his office now…” she gritted her teeth “…with his name stamped on them,” She said angrily, furiously. Her entire life’s work had _Hojo’s name_ on it and he became head of Shinra’s R&D because of _her._

“But why?” Vincent asked.

“The Cetra and Gast. I tried to keep them safe for as long as I could. I kept Hojo distracted with my discoveries for two years. But it was all for nothing! He did capture them in the end. He killed Gast, and took Ifalna and their child, Aerith, to experiment on them and it was all my fault… I could’ve saved them…” Jocasta paused when she felt a tear slipping down her cheek and her voice breaking. She let out a sob and covered her face with her hands.

She could have saved them. She knew she could. But things turned out differently. She felt so useless. But there was a lot more into that story. A lot more explanations as to why she too had her own demon, and why she’d become another of Hojo’s abominations. That cursed scientist had tested his theories on her and he’d turned her into the monster she _now_ was.

But she could’ve protected that Cetra. She could’ve protected Sephiroth as well. And she didn’t, and she hated herself for that.

Jocasta felt arms wrapping around her waist. Vincent pushed her against him. Her face pressed against his chest as she cried against the black leather. Her hands clutched on it as she let out another sob. She hadn’t cried like that for a while. She never thought she’d be strong enough to talk about her past. But she knew Vincent, and that _sympathetic_ relationship between them gave her the strength to open up. Maybe talking about it would take that load off her shoulders.

Vincent's arms squeezed her against him as he stared in the distance. He couldn’t help but blame himself. He could’ve been there for her. Maybe even help her protect that Cetra. Instead, he chose to turn his back on the world. Turn his back on _her._ And she was left alone under the supervision of that madman, unprotected. He could tell there was more to that story. So much more must’ve happened to have turned her to _this._ The woman who’d once give everything to protect a stranger’s life, she was now more than willing to take it.

He swore _now_ to himself, that he was going to make that _cursed_ scientist, Hojo, pay for what he’d done, to both of them.

Even when she paused crying for a moment and looked up at him with drenched eyelashes and shining eyes, his hands around her waist didn’t release her just yet. He knew she’d be safe there. _Now._ In his arms, and for some unknown reason, he just _didn’t_ want to let her go. 

Jocasta shook her head. She wouldn’t _dare_ to look him straight in the eye. _Not after what I’ve done_ “I’m so sorry, Vincent… I could’ve saved you too,”

He looked confusedly down at her. _What is she talking about…?_ But he wasn’t going to further ask about it. He just _hated_ the sight of her crying. A hand reached up and wiped that tear from her cheek. His finger found her chin and lifted her face up to look at him. Her grey eyes found him and waited patiently for him to say something.

But he _honestly_ didn’t know what to say. He just wanted her to stop crying and look up at him. “You tried your best,” he said finally. He knew he wasn’t really good at consoling someone, but he wanted to try and be there for her.

Jocasta shook her head “My best wasn’t enough,” her hands wiped whatever remained of her tears and she fended away from him.

She couldn’t deny that she didn’t like his hands around her. But now she was _drowning_ in her guilt and she couldn’t help but think of what could’ve happened differently.

“There they are!”

A familiar voice came from behind. Vincent saw the team approaching them. He glanced over at Cloud “Did you get that Keystone?” he asked.

“Sure did,” Cloud said “But we can’t leave for now. The tram’s under maintenance,”

“Are you okay?” Tifa asked as she noticed Jocasta’s wet cheeks and shiny eyes. Tifa tried to approach her and place a hand by her shoulder, but Jocasta fended away, turning her face away from the others.

“I’m fine,” she said dryly. Tifa let out a sigh and retreated.

Yuffie snorted “Jeez, what’s wrong? Did the vampire here hurt you?” she asked, arching an eyebrow as she gave Vincent a punch on the shoulder.

Vincent’s frown deepened as he remained silent. “No! Of course, not, he’d never-” Jocasta tried to say but she was cut.

“Too bad, that the tram ain’t working,” A voice came from behind and everybody turned their attention in its direction.

It was a white _mog?_ A robotic cat rested on top of it as he spoke.

“It happens though. But naught to worry, lads! Let’s stay at the ‘otel! They know me ‘ere. I can talk to ‘em,” the cat said.

“Sorry, but who are you?” Jocasta asked.

“Oh! Excuse my manners, lassie! I’m Cait Sith! Been workin’ around ‘ere for a while,” Cait Sith answered.

“Fuckin’ great!” Cid cursed “Now a cat’s telling us with to do!”

Jocasta shook her head, frowning deeply “It’s a freaking robot. It could be anyone,” she muttered at Cid who was standing beside her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and caught her attention.

“You sure you alright, kid?” He asked.

Jocasta grinned “Kid? I’m older than you, you know,” she said.

“No fuckin’ way-” but he was cut off by Cloud as he signed them both to follow the team to the hotel.

After booking three rooms, three beds each that should be enough for everybody, they all gathered in the main guest room to discuss the next day’s plans.

“Cloud, how about you tell me what’s been going on?” Cait Sith asked.

“Yeah, alright,” Cloud said.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow, hands crossed against her chest. She didn’t _trust_ that cat. But for Cloud being so open in explaining him _everything_ , the team already knew Cait Sith and possibly trusted him.

“Good idea,” Vincent said.

“Yeah, I know I’m the new guy here but…” Cid started. Everyone’s attention fell on the captain as he settled himself on a comfortable armchair “…I think I’m talking for everyone in here when I say ‘what the FUCK is going on’?!”

 _Well_ , it was true, that Jocasta, Vincent, and Cid had no idea what had already happened. Even the others didn’t seem really sure anymore.

“Heck, I been here since the beginnin’! An’ I still don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on!” Barret said scratching his head “Cloud, the hell’s goin’ on? C’mon, tell us!”

Cloud sighed “We’re going after Sephiroth. Sephiroth must be in search of the Promised Land,”

“The Promised Land?! What kinda nonsense is this?” Cid asked.

Jocasta remembered that. During her years working on the JENOVA Project, she too had studied the scriptures of the Ancients. _“We who are born of the Planet, with her we speak, her flesh we shape. Unto her Promised Land one day shall we return. By her loving grace and providence, may we take our place in paradise,”_ she mumbled under her breath

“Huh?!” Cid asked confusedly.

“Of course, you’d know it,” Aerith said, giving her a smile.

Jocasta sighed “Shinra probably thinks that’s true. They think it’s a place rich in Mako. All scientists in Gast’s team doubted it, though. It sounds more like a fairytale,” she said.

“Even if it exists, that land belongs only to Aerith and her people,” Barret said.

Jocasta nodded before she turned at the Cetra “Aerith,” she said, “Does it actually exist?”

Aerith shook her head “I guess you search and travel until you feel it,” she said vaguely.

“Aerith, can you… feel it?” Cloud asked.

“Lately… I think I do,” Aerith said unsurely.

“So, Sephiroth is traveling the world searching for the Promised Land?” Tifa asked.

“No, there must be something else,” Jocasta said, “What would Sephiroth do with Mako anyway?”

“Is he… looking for the Black Materia?” Cloud asked turning at Aerith.

“I heard from that lad, Dio, that a man in a black cloak was lookin’ for the Black Materia,” Cait Sith said.

“I’ve never heard of Black Materia,” Tifa said, “How many men with black cloaks and number tattoos are there?”

“My tattoo is number 13…” Red said “…Hojo put it on me,”

“I think Hojo did something to those men in the black cloaks,” Tifa said.

Jocasta rolled her eyes. _No shit, Tifa_ “After Hojo created Sephiroth -a body that _accepted_ JENOVA cells without any other side-effects, except maybe madness- he started a new project. The S Project. He tried to create Sephiroth Clones to test his goddamn Reunion theory,” she explained.

“Now hol’ on a sec! This is all so confusin’!” Barret cried out as he scratched his temple.

“How the hell do you know, kid?!” Cid asked from behind, sitting in an armchair.

Jocasta sighed “I was a member of Professor Gast’s team that studied the JENOVA Project. And when Gast… left, Dr. Hojo and I took over. Of course, there were lots of… complications that made me wanna leave,” _escape actually._

“I suppose you watched firsthand what was happening in the labs,” Red said.

“Indeed,” Jocasta agreed.

“I’ve no idea what you guys are talking about, but I totally agree,” Yuffie said.

“Jocasta, help us understand,” Cloud said, “What is the Reunion Theory?”

“It’s merely a hypothesis. At some point, whoever was injected with JENOVA cells, will have to…” she pursed her lips for a moment trying to find some way to explain it “… _gather_ around JENOVA because _‘without her cells, none of her children shall ever feel whole’_ that’s all I caught from Hojo’s notebooks, really. He could mean anything by that,” Jocasta explained unsurely.

Aerith opened her mouth to speak, but she pursed her lips “I’m tired, I’m going to bed,” she said before she stormed out of the room and towards the rooms they’d booked for the night.

The others just stared at her “What was that all about?” Cait Sith asked.

Barret shrugged “Guess it’s time to hit the bed. See ya guys in the mornin’!” and he followed after Aerith in the rooms upstairs.

Red turned at Jocasta “I’m number thirteen. Am I going to go mad too?” he asked.

Jocasta thought about it for a second “How long have you had that number on your shoulder?”

“I’m not sure… a long time,” Red said, a frown caught his face.

Tifa leaned down to Red “I don’t know what Hojo did to you, but you’ve been alright so far, right?”

“Now hold on a second, Tifa. It took Sephiroth twenty-five years to go mad. Of course, he was grown under… much different circumstances. But, Red…” Jocasta said, her index finger pressed over her chin. She leaned down closer to Red “…your species is a pretty strong one. You get to live for hundreds of years. Either way, only _some_ of the Sephiroth Clones were driven into madness whereas others’ bodies slowly degraded to death…” she spoke out her assumptions as her gaze drifted away from the dog and on the carpet of the room.

“What you’re telling me it’s not really reassuring, you know,” Red said raising an eyebrow and staring at her.

Jocasta chuckled as she petted his mane for a moment “I’m a scientist. I won’t let that happen,”

Red’s frown turned into a smile and he nodded at her before he turned around and retreated back to the rooms upstairs.

“Do you mean that?” Cloud’s voice came from behind and Jocasta turned and looked at him. “Can you actually reverse… what’s happened?”

“Well, my knowledge’s a little bit of rusty. But heck, I decoded JENOVA’s genome. I know ways that I could put that thing to good use,” Jocasta said.

“Then that would make you Jocasta Ernchester!” Cait Sith said as the realization hit him.

Tifa raised an eyebrow “Cait Sith, how can you possibly know her name-”

“Woo boy! Has it been a long day!” Cait Sith before he started heading upstairs with the Mog “Goodnight!”

Vincent just ignored the suspiciousness he’d grown for that robotic cat and he turned at Jocasta and Cid “Let’s go to our rooms,”

“Alright,” Jocasta was more than willing to oblige. She turned around only to see Cid already sleeping on the armchair he was sitting before. She chuckled and placed a hand by his shoulder in an attempt to awaken him “Old man?”

“Hm?”

“Wake up, you need to go to bed,”

“Leave me… the fuck…. alone, kid,” he mumbled between his snores before his head fell by his other shoulder and continued snoring loudly.

Jocasta rolled her eyes “You won’t be able to move by tomorrow if you remain in that stance,” she said.

Cid just let out a hum and continued snoring loudly. Jocasta sighed before she easily picked him up and carried him by her shoulder, Cid kept snoring and sleeping deeply not really conscious that his head was hanging upside down.

Jocasta turned around only to meet Vincent’s, Cloud’s and Tifa’s confused and surprised gazes. “What?”

“How did you-” Cloud tried to say and Tifa cut him.

“He must weigh way more than you!”

Jocasta shrugged “I was Hojo’s test subject, it’s got some… perks,” she couldn’t believe she was saying that, but there was a point to it. _Though,_ she wasn’t sure if her enhanced strength came from Hojo’s experiments or if it was merely a side-effect of what _she’d done to herself._

Jocasta shook her head, casting the painful memory away, and she gave the others a nod before she retreated upstairs, with the captain still sleeping and snoring loudly by her shoulder. Vincent followed closely behind and Tifa with Cloud stayed alone in the guest room for a little bit longer.

The three of them entered one of the three rooms the team had booked. Barret was already sleeping on one, Red was sleeping by his feet, head buried in his paws. Barret’s snoring matched Cid’s. Both snored louder than a _freaking_ Dragon.

Jocasta let Cid on one of the two blank beds. She pulled off his boots setting them beside the bed, and she tucked the bedsheets further up his body. She shook her head and almost smiled as she watched the old man sleeping. _Of course,_ being thirty years old wasn’t considered so old, but _physically_ he was indeed older than her and Vincent.

But at this point, it was a weird situation.

Jocasta turned around only to see Vincent sitting by the floor. _Of course,_ he was going to refuse taking the bed. _A true gentleman would never let a lady sleep on the floor._ But Jocasta didn’t mind at all. She’d slept in caves, on the hard soil, on treacherous terrains, on wherever she knew she’d be safe from the clutches of Shinra.

She sighed and placed her hands on her waist “Vincent, what are you doing?”

“You take the bed,”

“Hey, it’s alright, I’ve slept in much more uncomfortable places before. Besides, I don’t feel like sleeping,” Jocasta whispered as she sat on the edge of the bed and stared down at him.

Vincent shook his head and remained in his silence letting her know that she was in no way changing his mind. One hand propped over his bent knee as his back rested on the wall behind him. The floor was made of cold plaques of white marble. Jocasta frowned.

“At least, let us share that bed…” Jocasta said until she realized how awkward the idea sounded. She wanted to practically slap herself for even suggesting that, _but I have a reason I swear!_ “…your ass is gonna get cold on that floor,”

Vincent shot her a look. The _are-you-kidding-me_ look that told her Hojo had heightened his endurance on temperatures. Jocasta raised her hands in defeat.

“Alright,” she said “You’re free to scooch in if you change your mind, though,” she gave him a smile as she took off her own boots and slipped under the sheets.

Vincent returned her offer with silence and Jocasta just sighed. The bedsheets and the pillow were too soft. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually slept on an actual bed without the feeling of being watched. The constant fear of being slain right in her sleep.

Her fingers tightened around the stem of the dagger she always slept with. It was dangerous and sometimes she cut herself in her sleep. But it was funny to think of how something _dangerous_ helped her feel _safe._

Jocasta didn’t want to sleep. She was afraid that she’d see these nightmares again. Nightmares that accompanied her with Hojo’s laughter. With the smell of her own blood still fresh in her nostrils while he’d cut pieces of her for examination. This man, this _monster_ …her fingers tightened around her dagger as she thought about him. She couldn’t wait to see the time she’d get the chance to stab that very dagger into his own flesh. Make him feel the same pain he’d given her.

She snapped her eyes open for probably the hundredth time as she tried to keep herself awake, and surely Cid’s and Barret’s snoring helped a lot. But she reminded herself once again why she shouldn’t sleep. Why sleeping was such a bad idea. Jocasta tossed around, changing sides, and position. The more her eyes remained closed, the more of these memories crept back to her. It felt like it all had happened _yesterday_ yet it’s been twenty-eight years. And the pain, the scars, the sound of her own screams, they were all still fresh in her senses.

“Vincent,”

His attention snapped towards the bed and met her grey eyes that were pretty noticeable in the darkness of the room.

“If you see that I’m having nightmares… please wake me up,” she said, almost pleadingly.

Vincent nodded “I will,”

He heard her let out a sigh of relief as she closed her eyes “Thank you, Vince,”

She repeated the nickname almost unconsciously. Vincent, for once, didn’t think to act annoyed to it. He just shook his head before he let it roll behind on the wall and slowly close his eyes. He wasn’t going to sleep, but he could still rest in that position.

Jocasta gave in to the exhaustion and ceased her useless efforts of trying to stay awake. She was just _so tired._ But she knew she was going to regret it.

_A piercing shout escaped her lungs as the tip of a lancet stabbed through the sensitive tissue of her lower abdomen. Her eyes were shut closed, her blood slipped red and hot out of the fresh wound. Another scar. Another mark she’d be carrying along with the dreadful memories from her time there. In Hojo’s lab. Of course, he wouldn’t let any other scientists aid him when working on her. No one would be insane enough to help him out with such experiments._

_He’d reported Dr. Jocasta Ernchester died in a lab accident. It was no surprise. So many other fellow scientists had lost their lives thus. So, he was free to come back to his own personal lab, in the basement of Shinra Manor, where his test subject was tied and treated like an animal. She knew her life mattered to him no more than the life of a rat. That particular lab was one of the endless labs that were built deep within the heart of the mountainside. She knew that nobody would ever be able to hear her screams no matter how loud._

_Her chest rose and fell as she sucked in deep breaths. She raised her head and judging by the spot he’d stabbed her, that lancet was only a few inches away from her kidney. She gritted her teeth, hands fisting as the insistent ache spread all over her body._

_“If you are to… gut me… at least… give me some… fucking …morphine,” Jocasta growled. Her teeth gritted so hard, her jaw ached._

_She threw her head back as she let out another cry of pain. Her fingers fisted. Her nails dug deep into the skin of her palms, cutting through like a sharp knife. He ruthlessly cut through her skin with the lancet, and she could feel all of it. Ripping through her tissue like a knife cutting through butter._

_Tears stung her eyes and they rolled out, hot, leaving slick traces on her cheeks touched from the cold wind of the mountain’s tunnels. The lights of the lab that were focused on her, flickered on her shiny eyes. Drenched eyelashes crashed together once again as she let out another hoarse shout, desperately hoping that somebody would hear her._

_“No need to, my dear. You’re a strong woman…” Hojo said and she could practically hear that smile on his face._

_“What… are you… doing to me?!” Jocasta demanded. Her fists relaxed once she saw him fending away._

_He rolled towards the other bench, sitting on his wheeled chair. He grabbed something she didn’t care to recognize. Her whole body shook as the pain spread all over her neurons. She felt cold. She just wanted to curl up and cry. But she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of watching her being weak like that._

_Hojo turned and looked at her. His chair rolled close to the metallic table she was tied on. That manipulative smirk formed on his face that made her heart boil in anger._

_“Shinra took the boy. But no matter, I have the chance, and I won’t make the same mistake this time,” Hojo said._

_Jocasta’s brows furrowed “Shinra took… Sephiroth?”_

_Hojo’s smile for once, twisted into an expression of anger “I gave her too much freedom. I should’ve had Lucrecia tied down…” he woke up and approached her, his hand found her chin and his fingers pierced in her cheeks “…like you, my dear,”_

_She shot him a deadly glare before her head snapped up in an attempt to bite his hand. Hojo was fast enough to pull his hand back in time. He laughed amusingly._

_“You got that spark. That same spark Tedric had, right before he died,”_

_His words came in like a knife stabbing through her heart. Her mind drifted back to the day when the explosion went off in the lab. All she got was a last glance from her beloved before he vanished in the fire. Her eyes stung with tears, but this time, tears came from a different kind of pain. She shot Hojo a hateful look. She knew he was only saying that to mess with her mind. Mess up with her psychology._

_“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don’t give me that look, dear. If only he’d listened to me, he’d still be-”_

_“Tedric wanted to save people!” Jocasta spat “Not create abominations. That’s all you do. You’re no doctor! You’re a monster,”_

_Hojo’s smirk turned into an expression of hate as he grabbed another tool and buried it in the hole he’d created around her abdominal area. Jocasta let out another shout, and another, until her voice was hoarse and shrill and her throat burned. Her hands tried desperately to break free, even though she knew it was impossible._

_“Pity. So much brilliance, into a stubborn, difficult character,” Hojo said as he took something out of her and placed it in a nearby metallic plate._

_“What… are you doing to… me!?” Jocasta demanded._

_Then he smirked again “As I said before, I have the chance to combine my intelligence…” He got up and walked towards her, his eyes examined her “…with yours. With that elegance…” his hand found her cheek. A cold touch with the back of his fingers traced over her cheekbone and Jocasta did her best to squirm away “…that beauty…” he turned his back at her, his hands fisting “…imagine the combination of our genomes. Imagine what creature they would make,”_

_Jocasta’s eyes widened. She felt sick, a lump caught up in her throat, her stomach twisted and turned at the thought. Then it made sense why he was cutting through her abdominal area._

_“Of course, you won’t have to carry it. You’d grow attached and that’s exactly what went wrong with Lucrecia. A Mako Tube should do the job,”_

_“No! You… you can’t do that!” Jocasta cried out. Her limbs tried desperately to break free, to stop him. To run away. But it was of no use. She felt useless. She felt so powerless. So… alone._

_And then he laughed. And that laugh would haunt her forever in her nightmares._

“No!” Jocasta drew in a deep breath, as her body jumped up. She felt sweat running down her forehead. But then that cursed _laughter_ ceased and was replaced by Cid’s and Barret’s loud snoring.

Her hand found her abdomen as the thought crept back in her mind. She couldn’t help but wonder what he’d done with that. Tears slipped down her eyes as a sob escaped her. She knew she shouldn’t be crying. She should just choke back those tears and stop thinking about it. But she couldn’t.

Her hands found her face, covering her eyes as she wept. She shouldn’t have slept. She shouldn’t have given in to her body’s exhaustion. But that was a fate, she knew, she deserved. An endless torment.

Jocasta felt a hand passing around her. She didn’t care to see who it was, she just clutched on the leathery-black shirt, red cloak wrapped around her as she felt both arms circling over her waist.

“Vincent…” she whispered. Her hands clutched on him as she pressed her forehead against his chest and wept. A hand gently caressed her back.

“You’re safe,” his voice came. It soothed her.

Jocasta broke out another sob as her hands wrapped around his shoulders and her face nuzzled in his neck. She felt a relief she hadn’t felt in a long time. She felt _safe there,_ under his red cloak and the tight grasp of his hands around her. He had instantly sat beside her on the bed the moment he realized she was up and crying from another nightmare.

Jocasta pulled back, just enough to see his face, thank him for being there. Thank him for being that _someone_ who would lend a shoulder to cry on. She hadn’t had that in such a long time. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out when his right hand reached for her cheek, wiping another tear.

“There’s still much time left till sunrise,” Vincent said.

Jocasta shook her head “No, no, no… I can’t sleep. I’m not going back into these nightmares-”

“Just rest,” Vincent cut her.

Jocasta sighed “Alright,”


	17. A Traitor in the Team

She hadn’t realized she had actually slept and woken up without screams and nightmares until she began to stir. Jocasta let out a yawn as her hand found her eyes and gently rubbed them. She actually felt less sleep-deprived than usual.

Jocasta opened her eyes, the room was still dark. Cid’s and Barret’s snores were still echoing between its walls. Jocasta realized it was still pretty early in the morning, so she closed her eyes again. Her thoughts drifted back to painful memories. Her hand clutched on her belly. Her stomach twisted at the possibility that she had a child out there. Hers and _Hojo’s._

She shook her head. _Don’t think about that._ She always tried to ignore. _Ignore and shut out._ It was the only way she could move on. She turned her head, and she smiled for a moment until the realization hit her.

Wide crimson eyes stared back at her as they both realized they’d actually _slept_ on the same bed together. Jocasta couldn’t quite recall how that happened. Vincent immediately got up, as he tried to collect his words carefully before saying anything. Clear confusion pictured on his face, not sure if he should either apologize or just ignore the obvious awkwardness of the situation.

“Uh-” he started and before he could finish, the door of the room snapped open. The two of them didn’t even have the chance to fend away from each other as a stressed-out Yuffie barged into the room, she took a moment to catch her breath.

“Guys! Guys! Wake up! Something terrible has- Wait, were you two sleeping together?” Yuffie instantly snapped out of the matter as she shot Jocasta and Vincent a curious look.

Jocasta eyed Vincent for a moment, as he buried his face further behind his collar, probably in an effort to hide a blush that had started to creep across his cheeks. Jocasta growled. _I swear to Holy, I’m gonna fuckin’ kick that kid’s ass-_

 ** _Eat her._** Her demon growled in the back of her mind.

_What?! No! What’s with you and eating kids?!_

**_They taste funny._ **

_I can’t fucking believe you._

Jocasta snapped back to reality and she turned at the sixteen-year-old “Yuffie, did you come here to tell us something or just get on our nerves?”

Cid, Barret, and Red snapped out of their sleep “That lil’ brat is getting on my goddamn nerves alright! Let us fuckin’ sleep!” Cid cried out throwing a pillow at Yuffie.

Yuffie caught it with her fast reflexes as she let out a laugh “What? Old man can’t get enough sleep?” she teased throwing the pillow back at the captain.

Cid jumped up his bed “Why you lil-”

“Yuffie!” Barret cried out “Focus. What’s wrong?”

“Ah yes!” she clicked her fingers, jumping back to the main reason she’d interrupted their sleep for “Cait Sith stole the Keystone and handed it back to the Turks,” she recalled.

Everybody stood up, every thought of adding a little more sleep, vanished. Wide eyes stared back at the girl in both surprise and frustration.

“What the-?!” Cid cried out and Barret cut him.

“That double-crossing bastard!” Barret cried out angrily.

Jocasta gritted her teeth, fists clenched “I knew there was something off about that cat!”

“When did it happen?” Red asked.

“A few minutes ago. Tifa, Cloud, and Aerith are down questioning him. The Turks left,” Yuffie answered.

“Well then, let’s go kick that double-crossin’ mothafucka’s ass!” Barret cried out as he spared a look on his gun before exiting the room, with Cid, Red, and Yuffie following closely behind.

Vincent exited the room, besides the fact that he wanted to talk about it. That unknown reason of how they ended up sleeping on the _same bed._ He felt guilt when all he saw was Lucrecia’s face in his mind, haunting him in his dreams, alongside Hojo’s laughter that filled his nightmares. The brutal tortures he put him through in his lab. The shrieking sound of his demon while it struggled to cease control. But this _time,_ all these nightmares seemed _gone._ It felt like Chaos and all these painful memories had been cast far, far away on some unknown spot in his mind that couldn’t reach him.

He wondered if perhaps these nightmares ceased because he’d _slept beside her._ Vincent shook his head as he walked downstairs. It sounded highly unlikely. He mentally scolded at himself for making such thoughts. He reminded himself that there was nobody out there who could _rescue_ him from his demons. From that endless feeling of self-loathing, and guilt he’d been drowning in the past thirty years. 

Jocasta thought it was best to ignore it had happened. She sighed. _Ignoring_ seemed to be the only thing she was good at.

The team gathered downstairs, in the reception of the weird hotel. Nobody else was around considering it was five in the morning.

“I’m gonna ask only one more time…” the ex-SOLDIER’s angry voice came as Jocasta and Vincent approached them “…who are you?!”

Cait Sith sighed. Tifa, Aerith, and Cloud spared the others a look as they remained in silence and waited for the cat’s confession.

“I’m not going to hide any longer…” Cait Sith started “…yes I was a spy for Shinra. My real body’s at Shinra HQ. I’m controlling this toy cat from there. But I swear! All I do is trying to help!”

“You got some damn nerve!” Cid cried out.

“Excuse me if I’m getting things wrong, but I’m not seeing how giving the Keystone to the Turks is helping the situation at all!” Tifa cried out pointing a finger at the cat.

“Let’s bust that toy!” Barret cried out.

“YES! Lemme do it-” Yuffie cried out and started to attack, but Cait Sith cut her.

“I hate my job, alright?! I hate this company; I hate myself and the things they make me do! When I joined Shinra, all I wanted to do is help people. Help build a better world for the future generations. But when it turned out Shinra cared less about the world, and more about their pockets, I was already deep in command! I’ve seen first-hand what Shinra has done. All those things they’ve destroyed! All the damage they’ve caused on the planet! But I can’t just sit around and watch them while they keep doing that! That’s why I wanna come with you. I could be your man on the inside! I could help!”

Nobody talked for a moment as they took a few seconds to ponder on it. Jocasta could only nod in understanding. Just like whoever controlled Cait Sith, she too had seen first-hand what Shinra was doing. What monstrosities they covered beneath that thick curtain embroidered by their _fancy_ words that manipulated the people’s minds. She couldn’t believe she’d say this. But she parted her lips and she did anyway.

“He’s right…”

She made a step forward as the others shot her looks of either confusion or surprise. She made a swift move and grabbed one of her Sais and walked close to the robotic cat and its Mog, making sure the toy’s camera caught full sight of her. She placed the Sai beneath the robotic cat’s neck and she looked deep into the camera’s lenses with a deathly expression.

“…even so, you still can’t be trusted. If Cloud agrees to let you tag along, and you pull that same shit out again, we’re gonna find you. Whoever you are, we’ll come back in Shinra HQ, and I’m gonna slit your throat and watch your body shake like a fish while you bleed to death,” Jocasta spat out hatefully against the cat, that even though it was a robot, it still looked pretty frightened from the threat “Do I make myself clear?” she asked as the tip of her Sai cut through an inch of the robot’s synthetic skin.

“Y- yes, lassie,” Cait Sith stuttered and Jocasta fended away, leaving the cat to Cloud.

“You can tag along. But we don’t trust you…” Cloud said as he nodded at Jocasta “…can’t agree more,” he said before he turned around and walked upstairs “We need to get going,” he said at the team, and Aerith with Tifa, Barret, Red, and Yuffie followed closely behind.

“Damn, kid, didn’t know you had it in ya,” Cid said patting a hand on Jocasta’s shoulder as he gave her a smile.

Vincent knew he should probably feel uncomfortable about this. It was so difficult to realize of how much she had changed. He knew it would take him time. He just pursed his lips and thought it was best not to talk about it. It _had_ been thirty years, and these thirty years felt only like one night’s rest.

The team gathered their belongings and most importantly their weapons, before they boarded on the tram, and eventually on their blue three-wheeled truck. It was so much more uncomfortable especially when they had added a few more members on the team, but they made it to Rocket Town and eventually used the ‘boat’ to make it to the other side of the ocean.

Aerith was giving Cid the directions, while the others waited patiently.


	18. The Temple of the Ancients

The water was calm, thankfully, so they didn’t have any problems sailing across to the tropical forests of the other side. A continent which Shinra hadn’t yet touched with their technology and their great cities, hence things there were naturally normal, and the greenery was thriving. Or maybe it was because the Temple of the Ancients was lying somewhere beneath the thick forest. That radiation of Lifestream coming from the temple, probably kept the forest alive, enough to protect it from intruders.

The sound of buzzing insects, birds chirping, and other organisms shrieking, came from the forest. Jocasta could smell the soil, the tropical carnivore flowers blooming, the vines of the trees as the team cut their way through. Thick leaves, bigger than herself were blocking all sunshine from touching anything beneath the unnaturally tall trees.

Cid let out another series of curses as he used the sharp tip of his spear to cut through another series of vines. Cloud turned at Aerith, waiting for a nod to let him know they were heading the right way. Aerith nodded, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Everybody followin’ back there?!” Barret’s voice came from a few meters on the front.

“Aye!”

“Yeah,”

“Hm,”

“Damn right!”

Even though Jocasta had folded her cloak and stuffed it into her bag that hung from her shoulder, she could still feel her grey t-shirt sticking on her body. The heat that came was unbearable as she let out another sigh and her forearm found her forehead, wiping the sweat that gathered there. Sure, Hojo had made her immune to cold, and she thought that she could endure high temperatures. But it turned out differently.

Jocasta turned at Vincent who was following behind her, his clawed arm cut through a group of vines that fell on his way. He was still wearing that _long-ass_ red cloak, above that black-leathered outfit of his, and all she could do was wonder how he could bear wearing black-leather in such temperature.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sweating or something?” Jocasta asked. She let out a grunt as she cut another vine that fell on her way.

Vincent just shook his head negatively. _I guess Hojo fixed that._ He thought bitterly. Jocasta stopped walking for a second as she turned at him. Her eyes examined his face that hid beneath these bangs and his collar. Pale as usual. Paler than the _dead._

She stood on her tiptoes as her hand reached for his forehead. Vincent nearly pulled back, but relaxed when he reminded himself that he could _trust_ her. Her palm pressed flat on his forehead, pushing a bit away that bandana, searching for temperature. He was cold.

“Shit! Are you having hypothermia?!” Jocasta asked, eyes worriedly stared up at him.

Vincent shook his head and he walked past her “I’ve been cold ever since I died, Jocasta,” he said bitterly.

Jocasta pursed her lips suppressing the need to just place a hand by his shoulder and let him know that he wasn’t alone. That he wasn’t the only one that wasn’t normal within their little team of mismatches. Instead, she sighed and continued walking, and tried to ignore Cid’s curses and Yuffie’s sassy comments. Tifa’s complaints for the bugs that flew around them, and Barret’s little chat with his buddy Red.

She tried to think of how she could reverse things. Ways to turn herself and Vincent back to normal. Lucrecia did put that Demon inside him, there must’ve been a way she could take it out. And there must have been some way that she could take hers out too. Freeing them both from the burden of immortality would be a massive progress.

Jocasta knew she needed a lab to do the research on the Chaos Gene. She needed to find out how Lucrecia had actually put that demon into his body if she was to take it out. She’d have to go back to Nibelheim, search through Lucrecia’s notes, find her thesis. As for her own demon, these were answers she’d have to force out of Hojo himself. And if not, searching his own notebooks wouldn’t do any harm.

She frowned. Hojo was never much of an _incredible_ scientist, considering that all that fame and fortune that followed his current position, was because he’d _stamped_ his name on her own discoveries. On her own life’s work. All that Hojo did was combining the genomes of monsters and see what happened. She felt disgusted.

“We’re here,”

Aerith’s voice came, ceasing Cid’s cursing, Yuffie’s chatter with Tifa and Barret’s with Red. Vincent’s and Jocasta’s attention turned on the view that spread below them. The Temple was in the shape of a pyramid that reached high enough so that the tip was above the trees. Vines had curled up and reached high on its stoned walls. A few stones had formed deep cracks, letting them know that the building was unstable and it could crush any moment.

The team walked upstairs, to reach the entrance of the Temple and enter. There was indeed some kind of _energy_ that flowed around them the moment they stepped foot on that temple. It was a two-thousand-year-old temple and it was remarkable that it was still standing. The density of the Lifestream that flowed around it was hard to ignore, but it was unseen.

Moans and grunts came from the inside of a hall. The team followed it only to find a man. A bleeding, wide, deep wound could be seen on his stomach. Jocasta didn’t even try to question who he was, her _doctor_ -instincts urged her to instantly kneel beside the wounded man, and focus on his aid.

Jocasta immediately casted a healing materia. The man was breathing heavily, his back against the temple’s wall, painting it with his blood while it leaked and rested within the stone-plaques on the floor. The others seemed to recognize him. Especially Aerith, who immediately knelt beside him, tears streamed out of her eyes as she let out a sob.

“Tseng!”

“Wait, Aerith he’s a-” Cloud tried to say but Aerith cut him as she turned at Jocasta. Wide, frightened eyes found her.

“Save him! Please… please, don’t let him die,” Aerith said, her voice barely came between her sobs.

“A- Aerith…” Tseng’s voice as a hand reached out and grabbed hers into his.

“We need to take off his jacket and lie him down flat. Wanna see where the stab wound's placed,” Jocasta said and Aerith nodded.

Before the two of them tried to take off his jacket he stopped them “Wait,” he said, his trembling hand pointed at something. Everybody spotted the green globe. The Keystone was there. That would explain why he was there. Jocasta raised an eyebrow. _A Turk._

“T- take that. The Keystone,” Tseng struggled and Cloud immediately set off to pick it up.

“Who did this to you?” Aerith asked.

“Sephiroth… he’s here. We were wrong. He’s not searching for the Promised Land, he’s…” And then he coughed, harshly, blood slipped out of his mouth, his head fell back on the wall, sucking a few deep breaths.

Jocasta cringed. _I’m not liking this._ He shouldn’t be spitting blood unless he had an internal hemorrhage on his stomach, but if that were the case, he’d be spitting more than blood. Jocasta shook her head. Maybe Sephiroth had hit him hard on the chest, injuring a section of the lungs, which could be easily cured in a hospital.

Tseng’s eyes found Aerith. The young girl had been crying on his shoulder, clutching on his black jacket. “Aerith…” he managed, catching her attention. She lifted her head, shiny, green eyes stared down at him “…letting you go… was the start of my bad luck,”

Aerith let out a sob “No, no, no, Tseng…” her fingers gave his arm a gentle squeeze “…I’m here… I’m right here,”

Tseng gave her a weak smile as she rested her forehead against his temple. Jocasta tried to ignore the intimacy between the two, but she still needed answers. She turned and looked at the others but they returned nothing but confused looks.

“Uh… right…” Jocasta turned back at Tseng “You’re gonna be needing a transfusion. Blood Type?” Jocasta asked him.

“B Positive,” Tseng said.

“Who’s got B Positive here?” Jocasta turned at the team. Tifa raised her hand.

“Alright, guys, get the Keystone and do what you must. Aerith can lead you wherever you need to go to the Temple. I’ll stay and take care of him. Tifa, I’d appreciate it if you helped me out,” Jocasta said.

Barret nodded “Aight! Let’s go people!”

Cloud placed a hand on Aerith’s shoulder. Aerith shook her head “No… I wanna stay with him,”

“Aerith, we need you,” Cloud insisted.

Aerith just remained knelt beside him. Tseng’s hand gave hers a gentle squeeze. Jocasta rolled her eyes. _Pretty please._

“Aerith!” Jocasta clicked her fingers catching the girl’s attention “The longer you stay, the less time you give me to save him,”

Aerith sniffled and nodded before she turned around and followed Cloud and the others out of the room.

“Right,” Tifa turned at Jocasta “What do you need?”

Jocasta fumbled through her bag and found one blood administration set she always had with her. She hadn’t used it, so it was sterile. She wasn’t gonna save his life only to have him die from an infection.

“One hundred and fifty milliliters of your blood,” Jocasta answered. She grabbed a bottle of alcohol and placed them all beside her on the floor. “Help me take off his jacket. We need to stop the bleeding first,”

Tifa hurried on the other side. She helped her take off Tseng’s jacket. He winced at the movement, as they lied him down supinely on the floor. Jocasta unbuttoned his white shirt fast. The stab-wound looked like it was in a spot between the loins and the liver. Jocasta let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re lucky you don’t have any damage in vital organs,” Jocasta said as she grabbed another bottle from her bag and a syringe.

If he did have anywhere else damage of tissue that made him spit blood, there was no way she could open him up there and _now_ in the middle of _nowhere_. That was something to deal with in a hospital, and a hospital was too far away from their current location and he wouldn’t make it.

Thankfully, Jocasta always made sure she had a bit of the serum she’d created to help restore any damage at any time. She never used it on herself, ‘cause there was no need, but just in case somebody needed her help, she’d always offer it. She grimaced at herself. _Doctor-instincts._

The bottle had a greenish liquid inside. Jocasta stabbed the needle of the syringe on the cap of the bottle and drew out a few milliliters of the liquid into the syringe.

Tseng eyed her “What’s that?” he asked.

“You’re gonna have to trust me. I’m a doctor. You’re gonna be alright,” Jocasta said. After passing a cloth drenched in alcohol over his arm, she gently stabbed the needle and unleashed that liquid in his blood vessels.

The liquid could be seen as it coursed through the vessels and fixed any areas that were damaged. Instantly, the wound on his stomach started closing. Damaged cells started being repaired closing the wound completely as it’d never happened. Jocasta smirked for a moment. _That’s **my** work. _

“Oh my- What is that?!” Tifa asked “I’ve never seen anything alike,” she said, her doe-eyes stared at Jocasta in wonder.

“A research of mine. I perfected it twenty-eight years ago,” Jocasta answered and she turned at Tseng.

His trembling hand found the spot where the wound was, he made a sound of surprise when he could no longer sense it being there. The pain retreated, and he gained back his strength, pushing himself into a sitting position. He rested his back against the wall again as he leaned in to take a look at his torso.

His eyes found her. He knew only of one person in Shinra that had been researching on _self-healing_. “Dr. Ernchester?” he said unsurely. Veld had told him a lot about her.

“How’s my old man?” Jocasta asked as she proceeded with the transfusion.

“That information is classified,” Tseng said tiredly.

“Classified my ass,” Jocasta scolded as she pressed the needle in his skin and administrated the blood into his vessels “I just wanna know if he’s alive,”

“Veld and his daughter are alive. Having a normal life, in Kalm,” Tseng finally said.

“Veld?” Tifa asked.

“An old friend that taught me how to fight,” Jocasta answered vaguely and Tifa just nodded. She finished with the transfusion and tossed her tools back in her back. “You’re gonna be alright,” Jocasta said at Tseng and he nodded.

“I ought to thank you,” Tseng said as he buttoned his bloody shirt and put on his black jacket. A hand reached up, fixing his tie. “None of you owe me anything,”

“No, we don’t,” Tifa said, shooting him a glare.

Jocasta helped him stand up and passed her bag by her shoulder “You could return the favor by shutting your mouth and pretend you didn’t see us here today,”

Tseng chuckled bitterly “Shinra must already think I’m dead,”

“Are we supposed to trust you?” Tifa said incredulously resting her hands by her bare waist.

“If you didn’t, you’d have let me die,” Tseng said.

Jocasta groaned “Listen here, asshole, saving your life differs from-” she never got to finish the sentence when the whole temple started shaking. A few pebbles fell from the roof.

“What the-!” Tifa cried out before Jocasta grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the way before another rumble of rocks tried to crash her.

“We need to get out of here!” Jocasta cried out.

“Might be too late,” Tseng said before the three of them started running out of the room.

They reached the main hall of the building that had started to crash. The others came running towards them “Run!” Cloud’s voice came in terror as he grabbed Tifa’s hand and they hurried downstairs and eventually away from the temple. Tseng’s hand passed around Aerith’s shoulders as they run together downstairs, making sure she was safe.

“Jocasta!” She heard her name coming from Vincent’s familiar voice as a hand grabbed around her waist and pushed her away. Jocasta cringed at the spot she’d been standing before, seeing a bunch of stones and plaques crashing on it. Her back hit against Vincent's chest, she terrifyingly stared back at him, her whole body shook.

Vincent grabbed her hand and they ran together out of the building and downstairs following the others closely behind. The entire temple shrank and all that was left was the empty spot where it rested, and a black stone on the ground.

Jocasta turned at Cloud and Aerith “What the hell did you guys do?!” She asked.

Cid shook his head confusedly “Something about a temple being the meteor and the Sephiroth guy becoming a God,” he scratched his head confusedly.

“What the old man’s tryna say-” Yuffie cut Cid and he shot her an irritated look “…is that the temple was the Black Materia which Sephiroth was going to use to summon Meteor to fall on the planet, and by the injury, the planet will try to heal itself and Sephiroth’s planning on sucking all that Lifestream. Cait Sith sacrificed himself and shrank the temple and- Where the hell are they going?!” Yuffie’s eyes caught Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa running towards the empty spot and the Black Materia.

Jocasta turned at Cid, Barret, Red, and Yuffie “Keep an eye on Tseng. If he tries anything suspicious, shoot him on the shoulder. We don’t want him dead,”

“Alright,” Red nodded before Jocasta and Vincent hurried towards the other three.

Jocasta and Vincent heard a voice. A familiar one.

“Oh, but I have…”

Jocasta’s eyes widened. _Sephiroth._

“…I have become far more superior to the Ancients. I became a traveler of the Lifestream and gained the knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients and the knowledge of those after the extinction of the Ancients. And soon… I will _create_ the future,” Sephiroth said.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow as she drew out her Sais and got in her stance “Don’t you think you’re getting a little bit ahead of yourself, Sephy?”

“A lot,” Vincent agreed as he pulled out Cerberus and checked if it was loaded.

“We’re not gonna let you do it!” Aerith said.

“I wonder…” Sephiroth said as he approached Cloud.

Cloud’s fingers were tight around the stem of his buster sword as he shot Sephiroth a deadly look, letting him know that he was ready to attack and give it his all to take him down.

“…how do you plan on stopping me, Cloud? When you _are_ … me,” Sephiroth said.

Cloud’s eyes widened for a moment; the sword fell off his hands as he got off his stance. A hand reached for his forehead, clutching in his hair as he seemed to struggle. He struggled to cease control over his own body.

“Shoot him,” Jocasta said at Vincent.

Vincent gave her a confused look “Cloud?”

“He’s gonna hand the materia to him! Shoot him on the shoulder, dammit!” Jocasta cried out.

“What?! No!” Tifa shouted placing a hand on Vincent’s to stop him.

Cloud grabbed the Black Materia, his hands shook. An internal battle seemed to be going on in his body, as Sephiroth seemed to be the one in control. Cloud approached Sephiroth handing him the Black Materia, and before anybody could react, Sephiroth smirked and disappeared.

“Fuck!” Jocasta cursed before she spun her Sais around and placed them back in their cases around her waist.

Vincent sighed disappointingly as he let down his guard and placed Cerberus back in its case. Tifa let out a sigh of relief as she and Aerith approached Cloud and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Cloud, are you alright?” Aerith asked.

“I gave… the Black Materia… to Sephiroth?” Cloud asked unsurely.

Jocasta shook her head. She should’ve known. She should’ve known that Cloud was a Sephiroth Clone. All SOLDIERs were. But for a clone, this one, was an actual success, that’s why he wasn’t like the others. That’s why he wasn’t a mindless creature in dark robes waiting for its master’s call. 

“What… what did I do?!” Cloud demanded. His fingers dug in his hair. Eyes shut as he tried to convince himself that it wasn’t true. That he wasn’t a _puppet._ “Aerith… what did I do!? Tell me!”

Aerith shook her head. A hand cupped his face “Cloud… just be strong. Okay?”

Jocasta sighed as she turned at Vincent “Let’s go tell the others,” and he nodded.

_What a day._


	19. Farewell

The team had set up camp a bit further away from the jungle. Night had arrived pretty quick, and everybody was exhausted. They scooched into their tents, that were not designed to house so many people, but it was _something._ Vincent and Jocasta, refusing sleep once again, remained outside, sitting on the soil around the campfire.

The flames had started to die out, replaced by ashes, and the only light that was left, was the one of the moon and the stars. And even that was minor, since half the sky was covered behind faint clouds.

Having the Turk around, called for caution. They had decided to keep an eye on him in shifts, even though Aerith didn’t really agree to that. Jocasta grimaced on the thought. The girl looked like she trusted him a great deal. _Why?_ Her back rested against a tree trunk, one knee bent against her chest as her one hand was propped on it while she sharped and cleared the blades of her Sais.

She couldn’t understand what was going on between Aerith and Tseng. He was a Turk, and she was Cetra. For all she knew, Tseng was threat. But he hadn’t tried anything suspicious ever since they decided to let him _tag along._ She sighed. Cloud had passed out ever since what happened on the Temple. Barret had to carry the young ex-SOLDIER’s body, which shouldn’t weigh more than a feather, especially for somebody as muscular as Barret.

Jocasta tried to check on him. But he wasn’t wounded. There were no expressions of pain on his face which meant that he wasn’t internally wounded either. He was in a fight with his mind and there was nothing she could do about that. Tifa, though, was incredibly worried and tried to stay by his side the longest she could.

 _Young love._ Jocasta frowned. _What good has love ever brought to anybody?_ She pondered on it for a moment, until she realized she hadn’t seen Vincent around. Maybe he’d set off to _feed his beast. Wouldn’t he let me know?_

Jocasta placed the Sais back in their cases around her waist as she stood up and looked around trying to find him. She started wandering within the forest, making sure she didn’t move much away from the camp.

She walked out of the thick trees and reached a valley, with soft greenery spread like grass. The moon’s light gave the plants a pale-blue color. They were high enough to reach her thighs. Her fingers brushed against them as she took a deep breath, savoring the scent of the greenery drifted by the soft breeze.

Then she felt a hand grabbing hers and pulling her back into the forest. Jocasta nearly yelped in surprise. Her hand found one of her Sais and tried to attack, but she stopped when she realized it was actually Vincent. He pushed her behind a bush. She knelt beside him as she noticed him glancing back at the valley.

“Vincent, what the-”

“You were about to interrupt a moment,” Vincent cut her.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow, before she peeked at whatever Vincent was looking at. She cringed when she saw Tseng and Aerith in the middle of that valley, exchanging a few words. They were too far away to hear what they were saying.

“I hadn’t even noticed they were there,” Jocasta whispered. She turned at Vincent, shooting him a confused look “I don’t suppose you have been staring at them this whole time, did you?”

“I was keeping an eye on Tseng,” Vincent said.

“Yeah well, he’s about to start walking away and I don’t see you stopping him,” Jocasta said.

Both stared at Tseng walking away and Aerith watching. Jocasta’s hand reached back for her arrows. She was planning on shooting one by his shoulder but Vincent placed his hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

“No, let him go,” He said.

“Vincent, he’s a Turk. What if he informs Shinra of our position?” Jocasta asked.

“The Turks have gained some independency over the President. It’s not the same as it was back in our time, Jocasta,” Vincent eyed her “Veld trusted Tseng enough to make him head of the Turks. I trust he won’t talk,”

Jocasta sighed as she placed the arrow back in her quiver “Alright. I trust your judgement,”

She turned her attention back at Aerith. Tseng’s figure had started fading in the distance as he walked further away. Aerith had her bag and her staff thrown by her shoulder as if she too was about to start walking away, taking her own path. Jocasta cursed as she stood up and hurried towards her. This time Vincent didn’t stop her. Jocasta reached the girl. Aerith noticed her being there. She turned around and gave Jocasta a weak smile.

“Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Jocasta asked placing a hand on her waist.

Aerith chuckled “I need to fix this. Make things right,” she said.

“Indeed. That’s why we’re all here. To help you. But we won’t be able to do that if you’re gone,” Jocasta said.

“No,” Aerith shook her head. A sad expression caught her face “Only a Cetra can defeat Sephiroth now. I can’t let you. I can’t let any of you risk your lives,”

Jocasta took Aerith’s hand in both hers, making sure she had the girl’s full attention “Aerith, we _want_ to risk our lives. We _want_ to be here. Please, Aerith…” she sucked in a deep breath “…I risked everything to keep you and your mom safe. I know I failed then, but I won’t fail now,” _I can’t._

Aerith’s green eyes met hers, a hand found Jocasta’s shoulder “You never failed me, or my mom, Jocasta. But this is a journey I need to take on my own,” Aerith said as she turned around and glanced at the direction the Planet was _guiding_ her to “The Planet wants me to get to the City of the Ancients. The Forgotten City,” she said. She turned at Jocasta “You know where that is,”

Jocasta nodded. She did know the _Forgotten City._ Frequently, mentioned in the scriptures of the Ancients Lucrecia was studying almost all the time.

“And what then? Say you reach it. What then?” Jocasta asked.

“I need to stop Meteor,” Aerith said “Only a Cetra can do that,”

Jocasta gritted her teeth as the realization hit her “You’ve got the Holy, don’t you?” 

Aerith chuckled “I should stop being surprised when you know stuff,”

“My sister studied the Cetra more than I did, but I know the basics,” Jocasta admitted shrugging.

“Then you know this is a journey I need to take alone,” Aerith said.

Jocasta sighed. She didn’t like the idea of it, but Aerith was right. She raised her hands in defeat “Alright. But you better know we’ll be right behind you,”


	20. Nightly Threat

She felt the silver taste of blood that made her gag. Jocasta looked at her clothes, drenched in bloodstains of her victims. It was night. She could hear the wolfs’ distant howling in the forest. She felt tired as the breeze brushed her, bypassing the holes made on her clothes by the claws and nails of _whatever_ unfortunate animals her demon had consumed this time.

“You really had to make a mess, didn’t you?” Jocasta asked her demon, out loud. There was no one around her to question her about it. Jocasta walked within the thick forest outside Gongaga Village. She could barely see around her, but her advanced vision and the full moon’s light were enough to guide her back to the camp.

**_I was hungry._ **

“I see that. But now I need new clothes and a shower,” Jocasta protested.

**_About time you got one._ **

“Hey!”

Jocasta just shook her head and stopped talking when she spotted light ahead. She assumed it was the camp, she, Vincent, Cid and Cait Sith Model No. 2 had set in the forest.

The team had been divided in groups searching for Aerith the past few days, while Tifa stayed with Cloud in a local hotel. No matter all that studying Jocasta had done on psychology, there were some cases, like Cloud’s, that needed an actual professional. Her best guess was that he needed time. The moment he told her he’d passed at least once through a severe case of Mako Poisoning, it was all she needed to know to understand that he had suffered a loss of memory.

And while Cloud was resting, the team was searching for Aerith. For the gang, she’d disappeared. Just like that. With no notes left behind, no warnings, _nothing_. They couldn’t go on without the Cetra. Even though Jocasta knew what was going on, she knew they couldn’t move on with their Leader being in a comatose state.

“Ya look like shit, kid,” Cid’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

Jocasta sighed and tried to ignore her bloody fingers and clothes as she sat on the soil around the campfire. “Thanks, old man,” she said sarcastically.

“Ya done eating, lassie?” Cait Sith asked.

“Yeah…” she slipped her gaze around them “Where’s Vince?”

“Vamps went hunting not later after you did,” Cid said.

He poked the firewood closer to the flames with a stick before he settled it beside him and he searched his pockets for his cigarettes. He took one out, lighted it, and started dragging a few puffs as silence fell between them.

Jocasta grimaced “You know that thing’s slowly dragging you towards death, right?”

Cid chuckled “Like I give a shit!”

“I gotta agree with the doctor, lad,” Cait Sith said “Aight, I’mma have to run some diagnostics,” the cat said before the robot was shut down by whoever controlled it.

Jocasta stared at Cid as he kept puffing the cigarette. She grinned.

“Did you know that the tan thickens your blood significantly increasing your chances of having clotted arteries? And carbon monoxide with nicotine make the heart work faster, increasing the blood pressure and heart rate, damaging blood vessels. And that it reduces the amount of oxygen in your blood and not to mention the-” Jocasta started and Cid cut her with an exclamation of frustration.

“Alright, alright, I get it, for fuck’s sake!” Cid tossed the cigarette into the campfire and raised his hands in surrender “Just shut the fuck up, jeez, you remind me of Shera,” he frowned, running a hand over his tired eyes.

Jocasta laughed. She hadn’t realized how amusing it was to have that guy irritated. “Sorry. I used to perform so many surgeries back in the day. I guess I’ve… missed it,” she shrugged as her gaze focused on the windy way the flame danced with the floating ashes.

“So, what’s your story anyway,” Cid asked.

Jocasta sighed as she rested her back against the tree trunk behind her, and her head fell back on its hard surface. “It’s a long one,”

“You dumb?! I didn’t ask the goddamn length of it!” The grumpy Captain said “You and vampy seem to be pretty close,” Cid raised an eyebrow as he stared back at her with a mischievous grin.

Jocasta felt heat creeping across her cheeks and she was grateful for the night’s darkness that helped her conceal it. “I… he… we aren’t close! We’re friends!” she said defensibly.

Cid chuckled “Try telling that to an oblivious five-year-old, not a guy twice your age, kid,”

Jocasta scoffed “I’m fifty-six-years old, dammit!”

“You still have a twenty-six-year-old brain,” Cid said.

Jocasta took a moment to think about it “Well… technically yes but-”

“So, you and vamps were friends?” he jumped back to their previous subject.

Jocasta wished he hadn’t “Yeah. He was… a Turk. Mine and my sister’s bodyguard when we worked for Shinra. Well eventually these two fell in love and lots of shit happened,”

“Whoah, that’s tough, kid. Watching your crush makin’ out with your sister-”

“I’m not crushing on Vin-!” Jocasta bit her lip and cut herself when she noticed Vincent approaching them.

He sat silently around the campfire, across her. One hand resting back, one knee bent up and his other arm propped on it. He buried his face further behind his collar as the flame of the campfire flickered perfectly onto his crimson eyes. He glanced at the other two briefly, before he turned at the cat, which was still turned off.

“What’s wrong with Cait?” Vincent asked.

“He’d be running diagnostics, he said,” Jocasta answered.

“Hm,” Vincent nodded before he turned his attention back at the fire that had slowly started to die down.

Cid got up, with a grunt “Aight, I’mma go to bed. G’night, vamps,”

“Goodnight, Cid,” Jocasta said and Vincent just nodded at him as Cid got into the tent, they’d set up nearby, and it didn’t take long when his loud snoring reached their ears.

Vincent noticed her hands reaching for her grey cloak and tucking it closer around her body. Another move she’d always make when she was cold, or tired. Her back still against that tree trunk as her feet were curled up against her. Her hands remained trapped between her torso and her feet.

His attention turned back on the ashes that had replaced the fire. “Cold?” he asked.

“Tired,” She replied.

“You should sleep,” he said.

She shook her head, remembering her last nightmare “I can’t,” her fingers brushed against the right side of her lower abdomen. She could still feel the hard, scarred flesh beneath the fabric of her shirt. She hissed remembering the pain Hojo had caused her when he created that scar.

Vincent stared at her “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

Jocasta shook the thought away “I’m fine,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

It was surprising that Vincent had actually retreated to sleep. Jocasta sighed. It’s been almost a week with no sleep for both of them. Her eyes would close every so often, but she’d snap them back open again. She didn’t want to relive these memories that haunted her in her nightmares. Nightmares from the days of her torture in Hojo’s lab. Jocasta thought that maybe if she’d kill him, these nightmares would cease.

But then she shook her head. She started doubting that. She didn’t care if the rest of her life was gonna be like this, _that endless torment,_ because she knew she deserved it. But, no matter what, she was going to take her revenge. _No matter what._

Jocasta’s eyes snapped open again when she heard mumbling. She glanced over at Vincent. Body tossing and turning, tense against his sleeping bag. His left arm with the gauntlet had buried its claws in the hard soil, grabbing fistfuls of it. His breath quickened, mumbling words she was too tired to make out.

She stood up and approached him cautiously. He was obviously having a nightmare and all she could do to help was wake him. She knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

And then she heard a loud growl. The growl of a beast. Then she felt claws digging in the skin of her forearm, like daggers, cutting through her sensitive muscles and splitting her tendons. Her eyes shut and her head rolled back as she screamed. Her free hand grabbed the wounded one tightly in an attempt to stop the pain from spreading any further. Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked down only to see the Gallian Beast. Its claws remained stabbed in her flesh, keeping it from self-healing, and making it bleed. The eyes of the beast were pitch-black as they wildly stared at her and it snarled.

“What the-?!” Cid’s voice came from behind as he snapped out of his tent, alarmed. He grabbed his spear ready to attack, but Jocasta raised her free hand stopping him.

“Stand back!” She shouted. She drew her injured hand back, tearing the beast’s claws away, with another shout of pain. Jocasta threw her cloak off her body and she turned at the beast’s eyes with one piercing look before she started running.

She ran as fast she could within the dark forest with the beast following closely behind. It chased her, each second, gaining momentum on her. Jocasta let out a loud grunt as she jumped over another fallen tree trunk that stood on her way. She landed on a stone. Her knee hit hard against it but she ignored it. The adrenaline ran hard in her veins as she sucked in deep breaths. She noticed the Gallian Beast piercing its claws over the bark of a tree and attacking her from above.

Jocasta jumped out of the way. She continued running as her hand reached back for an arrow, of the quiver she remembered she’d taken off her back. “Fuck!” she cursed loudly. She shook her hand. The cold blade of the dagger she always had beneath her sleeve, slithered down and her fingers wrapped tightly around its stem.

She wished she wouldn’t have to use it. She didn’t want to hurt him. That beast might have taken over his body, but it was still Vincent behind that fur and these claws, and the sharp teeth. Beneath that mindless creature, there was still her friend, and she was going to draw him out _somehow._

Jocasta felt pain as sharp thorns from the branches of lower, wild trees cut through her skin as she practically ran for her life. She grunted and tried to ignore it. She gave a look at the beast behind that reached her closer, each second.

She stopped when she realized she was at the tip of a cliff. A waterfall fell harshly on the stones of the other side. Jocasta grimaced at the stones beneath her. They looked sharp in the darkness. She couldn’t imagine how they’d look during daylight. It was probably a bad idea to jump in such height, even for somebody like her.

Jocasta turned around and eyed the Gallian Beast. It let out another growl. One of its four legs scratched through the soil beneath it letting her know that it was about to attack. And it did.

Jocasta slipped beneath it and found herself on the spot it was standing before. It attacked again. Her fingers were tight around the stem of her dagger. “Vincent!” she cried out, but he couldn’t hear her. She knew he couldn’t. He was struggling and she could see it from the way the beast trembled at the sound of his master’s name.

In a blink of an eye, she could’ve sworn she saw Vincent’s eyes in that beast. That crimson color she’d recognize anywhere. But then that pitch-black color snapped back and it attacked her.

“Shit!” Jocasta turned around to start running again, but it was faster. She felt claws digging on the skin of her back, drawing lines till it reached her waist, tearing her shirt. She let out a cry of pain, but the shallow fresh wounds repaired themselves as she crawled and turned supinely to find the beast landing on top of her.

Furry paws pinned her hands by her head. Its hot breath tickled her face, and its black irises stared back at her. Jocasta let go of her dagger. Her hands were pinned down anyway, there’s no way she was stronger than it. But she still didn’t want to harm him.

“Vincent… fight it… you can do it. Vincent, you can do it,” Jocasta said staring back at it. She knew he was somewhere in there. She knew it. He wasn’t going to further harm her. He never would. _Right?_

Its fangs were only a few inches off her face. She could feel her body shaking. Her heart was about to jump off her chest. Her mind _screamed_ danger. At some point she felt frightened. She felt like she should have tried harder to run away. Then its irises gained back their crimson color. The beast retreated, fending away from her. It growled and snarled as the internal fight was starting to come out. Vincent was gaining back the control over his body, shapeshifting back to himself. The fur was replaced by white skin. The fangs, back into normal teeth, and its claws back into Vincent’s hands.

“J- Jocasta…” his deep voice came, deeper than before as he sucked in deep breaths trying to realize what had happened.

Jocasta let out a breath of relief as her body relaxed on the soil she’d landed on. She stood up on her feet. She let out a loud wince. Her hand reached for her back. Her fingers met the torn flesh of her back, reminding her, that deep wounds were gonna take a few hours to heal. She brought the same hand up to have a look at her red, hot blood that it’d gathered from her wound. She turned her attention over at Vincent. He looked at her, his hands shook. She tried to approach him, ignoring the pain on her back, but he made a step back and she stopped.

“Vincent, it’s alright-”

“I hurt you,” he cut her, eyes wide in shock.

The fear crept back to him. That constant fear that he was too dangerous to be around anybody. His hands shook as he realized he’d nearly done something he was going to regret greatly. If anything was to happen to her, he’d never forgive himself.

“I’m alright,” Jocasta raised her hands as she hesitantly tried to walk towards him, but Vincent made a few more steps back before he vanished into the forest. Jocasta gritted her teeth. _Oh no._ “Vincent!” she shouted, but she knew, he wasn’t going to turn back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Please lemme know what you guys think!!


	21. Memories

Her hand reached back touching the still bleeding wounds that took their time to self-heal. She still wore her torn black t-shirt. She shivered as the cold breeze of the forest brushed over her bare shoulders and the holes of her shirt. She winced as her finger brushed over the torn flesh.

Deep wounds needed time to heal on their own, unlike scratches that healed instantly. But this time, Vincent’s claws had dug deep into her flesh. She felt exhaustion washing over her as she threw a bloody hand by a nearby tree and paused to catch her breath. She’d been looking for him the entire night, shouting his name within the forest that surrounded Gongaga Village.

Although he was nowhere to be seen, Jocasta knew he was there. Somewhere within the forest, brooding over some long-lost memory. Drowning in his guilt like he always did. She did that too, but when she realized that _brooding_ wasn’t changing the past, she stopped it.

“Stubborn bastard,” She cursed under her breath and she decided it was better to retreat back to the camp.

By the time she reached it, the sun had started rising. The sky was a mixture of pink and blue, making a brilliant purple color that reflected beautifully on the dark-green of the trees. Jocasta heard birds chirping, but they weren’t louder than her thoughts of exhaustion. Thoughts of pain that spread over the still open wounds on her back.

She found Cid gathering the tent in a bag, chatting with Cait Sith. Once the two of them noticed her approaching, they turned around. Cid’s eyes widened as he hurried towards her passing her one hand around his shoulders in an effort to help her stand.

“Shit! Kid, you look even worse than before!” Cid said almost worriedly.

“That bad, huh?” Jocasta asked sarcastically as he settled her over a flat stone to sit down. Jocasta let out a sigh of relief as she finally bent her knees after hours of continuous walking.

“What in the blazes happened, lassie?!” Cait Sith asked.

“Did the bastard hurt ya?! I’mma have to have a few words with ‘im-” Cid said before Jocasta cut him.

“Shut up and grab my bag,” Jocasta said as she took off her shirt, revealing the grey bra she wore beneath. She winced as the movement of her shoulders stretched further open her wounds.

“What the hell are ya-?! Oh,” Cid cut himself midsentence as he caught sight of the wounds on her back. He handed her bag over to her and watched her pull some stuff out. He cursed “Fuck! It looks pretty bad, kid,” a hand found his hair, scratching his head nervously.

“You know how to stitch up wounds, right?” Jocasta asked as she looked at him turning her head over her shoulder.

Cid grew pale for a second “Dammit, woman, I’m a Rocket Scientist! Not a goddamn Doctor!”

She pulled out a needle and a soft metallic thread “C’mon, I’ll walk you through the steps,”

Cid made a step back, an expression of terror written across his face, and Jocasta tried her best not to laugh. “For fuck’s sake, I- I can’t u- use that needle to-”

“I can do it, lassie!” Cait Sith offered as he jumped off his Mog and hopped towards her.

It sounded like a _goddamn_ terrible idea to hand a needle to the _goddamn_ spy, but Cid was chickening out, and Jocasta was ready to pass out from hemorrhaging.

“Can I trust that you won’t try to kill me with a needle?” Jocasta asked as she drew her hand back before Cait had the chance to get his hand on that needle.

“Lassie, I won’t do anything you won’t ask. Walk me through the steps, will ya?” Cait Sith said.

Jocasta sighed as she handed him the needle “Alright,”

She didn’t really have a choice.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Thankfully, Cait Sith hadn’t tried attempting murder, and Jocasta was beginning to trust him for that. She could feel the stitching on her back was a little bit clumsy, but it would do the work. The three of them gathered their belongings, and after a phone call from Tifa, telling them that Cloud had finally woken up, they started heading towards Gongaga Village.

“So, what’s up with Vinnie?! I know that dude eats people, but we’re supposed to be his friends, right?” Cid asked confusedly.

“Hard to say, lad,” Cait agreed.

Jocasta sighed “It’s that… thing, he has. He can’t control it. Not as much as I thought he did,” she said.

“What’s that thing he has anyway?” Cid asked.

Jocasta pursed her lips “He’s got the same thing as me. Though Hojo got his hands on me, and my sister got his hands on him… I mean Hojo experimented on him too but for-”

“Wait, so you’re saying that his girlfriend experimented on him?!” Cid stopped walking and gave her a confused look as he took a moment to process it.

Jocasta sighed “It’s a lot more complicated than that,” she said.

“Shit, kid! That’s one massively fucked up story!” Cid said before he resumed their walking.

She nodded admittedly “It is,”

They reached Gongaga a few minutes later. It must have been about 10:20 am when they entered the small village. A few people were around. Only what was left of Gongaga’s people after the explosion of their reactor that had wiped out half its population.

Jocasta, Cid, and Cait dealt with a few monsters on their way. Creatures with severely mutated genomes caused by the overflow of Mako. Mutations take place in the genome of an organism when something changes in their environment and threatens their survival. But there are also other factors that _cause_ mutations, like sun radiation, radioactive agents, and most importantly, _Mako._ The liquified form of the Lifestream. Both the absence and the overflow of it, caused mutations, creating monsters.

Of course, Shinra wouldn’t care the least, so long their pockets were full and enjoyed riches beyond measure. A life beyond any of their _loyal_ citizens could even imagine.

First thing Jocasta did when they reached the village, was to buy a new pair of clothes from the local store and take a shower. The hot water brought a stinging pain on the freshly stitched-up wounds on her back. She’d wince slightly but then remind herself that she’d experienced worse pains than this one.

Jocasta looked at the mirror of the room she’d booked for the day while she took off the towel she’d grabbed around her damp hair. Some strands rested on her shoulders whilst others fell behind reaching her waist. She sighed. Her hair were never black, and straight and long. They used to be curly, brown, and short. Her fingers of one hand traced over the scars on the forearm of the other. Small protruding pieces of flesh, burned or butchered by Hojo. Wounds her serum couldn’t fix. At least not the serum she’d put in her body in an effort to hide her findings from the _madman_.

_She ran. She ran as fast as she could as the alarm resounded within the endless maze of halls and rooms and corridors. Her fast breathing left her with a dry throat as she finally reached her own lab. That one room amongst the labs in the basement of Shinra Manor which was hers. That one room only she had access at. She could hear footsteps approaching hastily as she locked the door._

_Jocasta eyed her lab as her back pressed against the wooden door. She tried to catch her breath. Adrenaline rushed hard against her veins as she urged herself to move and think quickly. She looked at the bookcase that rested on the other side of the room._

_She focused her eyes on a particular wooden box that rested on the shelves. A box that contained everything she’d created. Everything she’d discovered. She gritted her teeth. Her fists clenched. She wasn’t going to let him have any more of her discoveries. She wasn’t going to let him access that knowledge because she knew he wasn’t going to use it as she was intending to. Not for any good. Science shouldn’t be used for distraction but merely as an aid to guide humanity to progress._

_But Hojo abused it. He was creating monsters, keeping the ones that satisfied Shinra’s aspirations, and discarding the ones into someplace he wouldn’t tell her. He’d started obsessing over Lucrecia’s thesis ever since she’d disappeared. There was something else going on and Jocasta hadn’t just made him spill it out yet._

_Jocasta hurried over the box, she placed it on her desk and opened it. A couple of syringes with serums she’d created using the sequences of the alien’s genome. Some of them were older samples that hadn’t worked out, some others were newer that she hadn’t tested yet what they were capable of._

_She wasn’t about to let Hojo get his hands on them._

_Jocasta’s body jumped in terror as she heard a loud bang on the door. “Dr. Ernchester! Open the door! Or we will use force!”_

_A SOLDIER’s voice came from the other side. Jocasta gritted her teeth as her heart beat fast, and so loud she could practically hear the hasty thumping beneath her chest. Her eyes slipped all around her lab trying to find a place where she could get rid of them. Anywhere so Hojo wouldn’t find them. Another bang on her door let her know that she had no time, no place where Hojo wouldn’t search._

_Her hands shook as she hastily sat on her chair and pushed her lab-coat’s sleeve up, revealing her arm. She tied a rope around her forearm, right beneath her elbow. She tugged on the rope with her teeth, tying it as tightly as possible to cut the blood flow. She ignored the pain as she injected herself with her syringes. She ignored the burning sensation and the possible side-effects that were to follow from these chemicals. She tried not to think about the pain that came with every single stab of every single needle of the endless syringes._

_Jocasta finished just in time when the door was brought down and a bunch of SOLDIERs rushed inside. Countless guns pointed at her. Jocasta weakly stood on her feet as she hid her arm behind her. She felt blood slipping out of the spots she’d pierced with the needles before._

_And then came the laughter. That laugh…_

Jocasta’s whole body shuddered as she recalled the memory. Her fingers brushed over the bruises on her forearm that were created by the countless injections she’d made to herself _that day._

Her feet felt weak. She threw an arm against the desk in front of her, in an attempt to keep herself standing. She groaned. She had lost much blood last night after delaying stitching up these wounds on her back. She knew she’d need a transfusion but she knew there was no store in a village in the middle of _nowhere_ that offered blood administration sets.

Jocasta pulled herself together, as she passed her belt around her waist and she fitted her Sais in their cases. She placed her daggers beneath her sleeves in other cases she had for her hands.

After finishing, she walked downstairs and reached the middle of the village where Barret had told her they’d rendezvous with the team to talk about their next steps.

“We’re all gonna die!” Yuffie’s exclamation came as Jocasta reached the group.

They’d probably reached that conclusion considering that the last of the Cetra was gone and the Black Materia was in Sephiroth’s hands. Jocasta grimaced when she noticed Vincent being there. He avoided looking at her as he buried his face further behind his collar.

“Jocasta,” Cloud’s voice caught her attention back to the others. The young ex-SOLDIER crossed his hands against his chest “Cid filled us in with the situation. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. But what do we do now?” Jocasta asked.

Cloud sighed “Aerith reached out to me. She said she’s heading to the Forgotten City. Any idea where that is?” he asked.

“I could follow her scent,” Red offered.

“No need to,” Jocasta said, catching everybody’s attention. “I have an idea of where that is. Bone Village. Southeast from here,”

“Alright. Gather your stuff. We leave in fifteen minutes,” Cloud said and the team nodded at their leader before they set off to do as they were asked.

Vincent stayed though, he eyed her for a moment hesitantly. She was almost as pale as he was. Guilt flooded inside of him as he tried to approach her but he stopped himself halfway. His hand fisted suppressing the need to reach out to her. Of course, she’d notice that hesitation, as she tried to cover the space between them, but Vincent took a step back, maintaining the distance.

“Vincent-”

“Are you okay?” He asked worriedly.

She gave him a smile in an effort to reassure him “I’m alright,” she said as she tried to take another step closer. He tried to retreat back, but he didn’t resist her hand that found his shoulder and kept him in place.

“Jocasta, I-” He hesitated, not really knowing how to apologize for that “I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I shouldn’t have slept last night,”

“No, Vincent, you were exhausted, you did well to sleep-” Jocasta drew her hand back as he cut her.

“But I hurt you,” Vincent said guiltily.

“Not intentionally,” Jocasta said. She looked at his messy hair that fell on his face. She smiled up at him as her hands pushed the messy bangs away revealing both his eyes that avoided hers. “You have nothing to apologize about…” her hand found his cheek, cupping it with a gentle warm touch in an effort to catch his attention. A pair of crimson orbs found her with guilt still painted on them. “It wasn’t your fault,”

He sighed when he admitted to himself that she was right. He’d never try anything to harm her. It was his beasts that he couldn’t control. He shook his head.

“I need to learn controlling it,” He said.

“I know,” Jocasta said. Her hand slipped away from his face and rested briefly on the buckles on his chest as her gaze drifted away from his. “We both do,”

And with that, she fended away and she turned around glancing back at the hotel that lied in the distance.

“I’m gonna go gather my stuff,” Jocasta said.

Vincent nodded and watched her walking towards the hotel. Jocasta’s hand found her stomach as she felt a familiar _flutter._ She gulped when she recognized the tight warmth on her chest. She’d felt the exact same the first time she’d met _Tedric._

Jocasta shook her head as she remembered him. His brown hair that were always a mess. Nerdy glasses always tucked perfectly on the bridge of his nose. That focused expression that caught his features whenever he’d examine something on the microscope.

And then she felt the _pain._ The pain she felt when she stood by his grave. The thunder that went on during that day. The rain and the mud that drenched her clothes when she knelt beside the cold white marble in the graveyard of Sector 5 in Midgar. His parents wanted to bury him close to them.

Jocasta shook her head. She felt her cheeks’ skin cooling up from the air around her. Her fingers traced against her cheeks realizing she’d shed tears. She gritted her teeth wanting to scold at herself. It’s been so long yet she’d still cry when her endless thoughts would inevitably take her back to _that_ day. Even though so much stuff had happened ever since.

Her fists clenched as she entered her room in the hotel. Her back pressed against the hard wood of the door. She let out a deep breath and wiped her tears away. _No._ She couldn’t fall in love again. She wasn’t going to let herself fall in that _trap,_ because love _was_ a terrible trap that nobody could find the way out. It was _love_ that made her cry for something that had happened more than thirty years ago.

She wasn’t going to fall in love again. They were all in a mission and each day they risked their lives. Each moment could be the very last and none would know it. Because _fate_ too was a treacherous thing. If she were to fall for Vincent and something happened to him… Jocasta shook her head. Eyes shut as her hands found her temples. She wouldn’t _bear_ to lose him. 

_Don’t get attached._ She told herself because whoever person she’d get _attached_ she was losing them, and she _couldn’t_ bear to lose _him_. She couldn’t bear to sit back and _watch_ , because that’s how it always happened. Fate brought things in ways so that she could do nothing but _stand and watch_ people she cared about _die._

**_You’re so miserable._ **

_Thanks for reminding me._


	22. Salute to a Hero

Red seemed way too excited once they reached Bone Village. Well, it was no surprise. It was an archeological site that hid countless bones beneath the ground. The dog’s nose twitched as he sniffled whatever trace’s of Aerith he could find. He’d assured them that she had indeed _come this way._

A bunch of people with shovels were digging in the site. A few ruins and bones were already on the surface, waiting to be further taken care of and taken into some museum.

Jocasta could see a massive forest spreading by the other side of the small village. Edge wasn’t far from there. She watched Cloud as he asked around for the Forgotten City. Jocasta hadn’t had the time to listen to the chatter when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Cid.

“How’s your wounds, kid?” he asked, before lighting another cigarette.

It was a pretty good question, considering she hadn’t even thought to check on them ever since they left Gongaga Village. But she felt no pain when making moves that were supposed to cause pain, and that was a good sign.

“It stopped hurting,” Jocasta shrugged.

“That’s some damn good news, kid,” Cid said, puffing out his cigarette. He sighed as he stared at Cloud and the others talking to the archaeologists that were spread around the digging site. “I gotta tell ya, when I joined this group, I wanted to kick some Shinra ass. Make ‘em bastards pay. But right now, we gotta save find that girl, I tell ya. No way she can fight Sephiroth on her own,”

Jocasta placed a hand on her waist, sighing “No, she can’t,” she agreed and started regretting letting her go in the first place.

“…they offered to dig for us and find the Lunar Harp,” Cloud’s voice came from behind, catching everybody’s attention.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “For what in return?” she asked. There was no way they’d just do that for free.

“Yeah…” Cloud sighed “…we’ll… have to empty our pockets,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Fuckin’ terrific,” Cid cursed for the hundredth time and Jocasta tried to hold back a chuckle.

They had finally _unlocked_ the forest with the Lunar Harp that the archaeologists had dug out of the soil. Red moved ahead with his nose twitching, his tail perking around with the bright flame on the tip and that focused expression on his face as he tried to keep track of Aerith’s scent.

Cloud stuffed the Lunar Harp back in his bag, following the dog’s heightened instincts. They’d all indeed emptied their pockets, contributing to finding that harp and _unlocking a goddamn forest._ Jocasta rolled her eyes. _Cetra cryptic bullshit._

If anything didn’t apply to the science she knew, it didn’t worth her time. She couldn’t believe that Lucrecia and Hojo and Gast had actually taken the time to study the Ancients’ Scriptures. There was always a scientific explanation for everything. Nothing ever _just happened magically._

The more they walked within the forest, the trees had started becoming white and glistering. The amount of transparent Lifestream that flooded the air, was hard to ignore. _Of course_ , this place would be filled with life, with all that Lifestream, but the City was empty and abandoned. White, stoned houses spread all around the place, constructed in an old architectural fashion.

Cloud stopped walking for a moment. Everybody turned at their leader as he took a few seconds. He could _feel_ the presence of somebody even though there was no one around them anywhere. Tifa’s hand found his shoulder. The young ex-SOLDIER didn’t bulge for the next few seconds.

“Is everything alright?” Tifa asked worriedly as she leaned closer.

Cloud’s blue, Mako infused eyes rested on her face. “I can feel it… Aerith is here. And…” he sighed “…Sephiroth’s here too,”

“Huh?! How can you-” Barret tried to say but Yuffie cut him.

“Do you know where they are?! Are they close?! What if he sneak-attacks us!!!” Yuffie cried out as she looked around her cautiously. Her hand instinctively reached back for her Shuriken. 

Jocasta placed her hand on hers, stopping her.

“Chill out, brat,” Cid said.

“Heyyy!!” the Materia Hunter shot him an irritated look “Stupid old man,” she frowned.

“What did ya call me?!”

Yuffie stuck her tongue out and Cid growled frustrated, “Why you lil’-!” he nearly started chasing her around the place but Barret’s voice cut them.

“C’mon, guys! Get your head in the game!”

Vincent hid his face further below his collar to hide a creeping smile that had started taking over his pale lips. His new companions brought something he hadn’t had the will to grasp before. _Life._ A need to move on, and actually _live._ Something he’d been avoiding the past thirty years in the coffin he’d locked himself in.

“Guys!” Red’s voice cut everybody’s attention “This way,” the dog’s nose twitched as he started heading further down the mountainside with the team following closely behind.

They reached the other side of the forest. A pond rested between a bunch of white trees, and the bark of a thousand-year-old tree stood in the middle. There was a cavern that spread beneath. The team entered the cavern that was lighted by the faint green glow of mako crystals that reflected on the stalactites.

Light came from a hole above and fell right in the middle of it all. There was water surrounding the small part of land where Aerith stood. She was knelt on the hard stone, hands brought forward, standing beneath her chin. Eyes closed as she focused on something. It looked like she was praying. Jocasta chuckled. _Of course_ , she would. She was going to use the _Holy_ to stop Meteor. But to do that, the Planet would have to listen to the prayers of a Cetra first.

The others tried to approach her, but Cloud’s hand fell in the way. “I need a moment with her,” he said.

Everyone looked uneasy at the young ex-SOLDIER. If Sephiroth could control him, what if he tried to use Cloud and hurt her. Jocasta’s fists clenched as she opened her mouth to speak but Tifa spoke first.

“We’ll be here,” she said.

Jocasta watched Cloud make his way towards the Cetra as she reached Tifa and said “Don’t you think this is a bad idea? What if he-”

“He won’t,” Tifa said but she still looked unsure and tense, fists clenching as she took a deep breath “He can’t,” she shook her head in denial.

Cloud reached Aerith in silence. He stared at her for a moment, “Aerith,” he said in order to get her attention and ask what was going on.

Jocasta shook her head as her fists clenched. Her hands were ready to reach back for her arrows and shoot one on the ex-SOLDIER. She wasn’t going to let him harm her in any way. When Cloud seemed to struggle to move further, her hands immediately moved and she targeted an arrow by Cloud’s shoulder.

He kept moving, as his fingers buried in his spiky-blonde hair. The other hand reached for his sword and tried to walk closer to Aerith and harm her.

“Cloud, no!” Tifa shouted.

“The hell are you doin'?!” Barret cried out.

“What the fuck!” Cid shouted.

“Somebody, stop him!” Yuffie cried out.

Jocasta noticed Vincent was targeting Cerberus towards Cloud. Fingers were tight around the handle ready to shoot. Tifa tried to run towards him, but she stopped when they realized, that whatever was messing with his mind, stopped. Cloud’s fingers let go of the Buster Sword. It hit the stone with a loud metallic bang that vibrated through the entire cavern.

Cloud’s eyes found Aerith. His mind finally clear. His hands let go of his head as he turned at her “Aerith!”

“It’s alright, Cloud,” Aerith finally opened her green eyes and smiled at him brightly “Everything’s forgiven,” she repeated.

_And then it happened._

Sephiroth fell from above. His sword tight in his hands as its massive blade pierced right through her. Stabbing her from her back, the blade came out of her stomach. Her hands fell on her sides and her pink dress started getting drenched in her blood.

Jocasta’s eyes widened. Her quick heartbeat was deafening. It kept her from hearing Tifa’s and Yuffie’s cries. Barret’s gun as he fired endlessly towards Sephiroth. Jocasta let go of the arrow and it landed on the Sephiroth Clone’s chest.

Cloud immediately pulled Aerith in his hands. One hand supported her head while the other reached for her cheek. Tears slipped out of his eyes, coating his cheeks. He gritted his teeth when he caught sight of the smile that was still painted on the girl’s pink lips. Her green eyes remained open as she was slowly draining off of life. Her eyes found him and they both ignored the _chaos_ that was going on around them.

Cloud gritted his teeth, fists clenched when he remembered his promise to her. He’d promised to keep her safe _no matter what._ But _now,_ she was there, in her final moments, dying in his arms.

“Cloud…” She said weakly giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“No… please don’t… Aerith…” and then her head rolled back. Her eyes closed.

By the time Jocasta knelt beside her, with a syringe of her serum in her hand ready to inject her with it, Aerith was gone. The serum didn’t heal her wounds. It didn’t bring her back. Jocasta knelt beside her. Tears slipped down her cheeks. As she shook her head in denial.

“No, no, no, no… I can save her… I can bring her back… I can…” Jocasta mumbled to herself, trying to convince herself that _this wasn’t over. She’s not dead… she can’t be._

Tifa settled Aerith’s body on her lap as Cloud turned around to face Sephiroth. Tifa’s eyes were drenched in tears as she shook her head “She’s gone… oh my… she’s gone,” she sobbed.

“First my mother… then my hometown… and now Aerith,” Cloud said as he turned at the injured Sephiroth Clone who had been laughing maniacally ignoring his injuries. “You took everything from me!” Cloud shouted angrily.

“Aw, Cloud. Don’t pretend you cared for any of them,” Sephiroth said.

“Of course, I cared! I have feelings! I’m not like you!” Cloud burst out.

“Not like me? You don’t even know _what_ you are…” Sephiroth said and then his gaze focused on Jocasta. She returned him a deathly look. “…but she knows. She and Hojo created you. Or at least… people like you,”

“I only did what I had to do to protect her!” Jocasta shouted both sad and frustrated as she pointed a finger at Aerith’s dead body.

Everybody’s attention fell on her. Her voice broke into another series of sobs when she realized that all her past efforts were for _nothing._ Two years of pretending that she _liked_ using science immorally. Every day working beside that _monster_ of a man, trying to keep the Cetras safe. And now the last of them was lying dead in a friend’s hands.

“For what? To die another day?” Sephiroth said through that clone and he started laughing, amused by the entire scene.

Jocasta buried her face in her hands. She thought that there could still be good inside of him. But there was none left as it seemed. She felt a hand by her shoulder. Jocasta turned and saw Vincent behind her.

“Are you planning on participating the Reunion?” Sephiroth asked Cloud “Meet me, at the Northern Crater,” These were Sephiroth’s last words before he vanished and what was left behind was a dead man in pitch-black robes.

Everybody remained silent as they watched Cloud picking Aerith up in his arms and making his way towards the pond outside of the cavern. None really had the strength to talk. Yuffie curled closer to Tifa as the two of them cried silently. Cid shook his head in disappointment, eyes thrown by the soil as a series of curses came in a quiet mumbling beneath his breath. Barret wiped his cheeks as he put on his sunglasses trying to hide the next series of tears that would come crawling back down his cheeks.

Only Vincent seemed calmer than the others. He’d just shut his eyes and sigh, and that’d be all. But Jocasta felt guilt. Another sin added amongst the many she had committed. Another life she’d failed to save. She had tried so hard these two years when she tried her best to keep Hojo distracted from bringing in Ifalna and Aerith. She’d handed her discoveries to a madman _just like that_ in order to keep _them_ safe.

She had failed back then and now she had failed again. Everything she did just never seemed _enough._ Jocasta wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek as Cloud let Aerith gently into the cold embrace of the water, where she vanished in its deep blue. _I let her go._ Jocasta thought as she let out a sob and her hands found her face. _We could’ve gone with her… we could’ve protected her._ She gritted her teeth as she stared back at the young girl’s body being engulfed in the pale water of the pond. That was the last goodbye. A _farewell_ to a hero that died with a smile.

Aerith had never wronged anyone in her entire life and this… this _monster_ had taken her life _just like that._ Nobody seemed to consider the _full_ value of a human life anymore, and that disgusted her. Jocasta shook her head in disappointment. Her disappointment in _this_ world. Hojo and Lucrecia didn’t value their own child’s life and turned him into a _freaking_ test subject. _And that was my fault._ Jocasta gritted her teeth at the guilt that flooded beneath that tightness in her chest.

She tried to lean on Vincent’s shoulder but stopped herself. She thought it was best to ask first “May I?”

A pair of glistering, crimson eyes rested upon her face. Vincent nodded with an unreadable expression on his face as he hid it further behind that collar of his cloak.

Jocasta leaned her head behind on his shoulder as her eyes drifted back on the scheme. Vincent felt his breath caught up in his throat as he felt her hair tickling his cheekbone, and her fingers tugging on the buckles of his leathery-black shirt on his chest. He wanted to avoid being that close to her. Being that close to _anyone._ With that never-ending fear of hurting her again with the forces inside of him that he couldn’t control, he’d promised to himself he’d never come close to her. She let out a sob against his shoulder. He still couldn’t deny her _need_ for affection. The need to lean onto somebody when he knew that she had no one for _so long._

He didn’t have anybody either. Except for those few months, he’d spent with her. Those few months after Lucrecia’s wedding. Jocasta was that one person that had reached out to him and made things a lot more tolerable with that sparkle in her eyes, those sassy remarks whenever she’d tease him and he’d let her know he hated it even though he knew he wouldn’t make it without them.

All these now were gone and she had changed. She’d remain quiet. She’d remain _depressed_ just like _he was_. He too had changed. He felt more _dead_ than _alive_ and he was sure she felt that too. The _will to live_ was snuffed out of both of them long ago, and they were just _living_ without it.

Vincent’s metallic hand reached for her waist, passing around her, bringing her body closer to his hesitantly. He didn’t care if his demon would wake up and do something he’d regret. He just wanted to be there for her _now._

He let out a sigh of relief as he felt none of his demons awakening and taking over. Then he tugged her closer till her fingers clutched on him, her forehead pressed against his cheek, and the full length of her body, against his. He could feel her breaths tickling his chin in their steady and heavy rhythm.

He gritted his teeth as regret and guilt flooded him “It’s all our fault,” he said.

“I could’ve saved her,” Jocasta said bitterly “If I was fast enough… If I was-”

“No,” Vincent shook his head and she looked up at him with drenched eyelashes and shiny, grey eyes “We’ll make this right. She didn’t die for nothing,” he said determinedly, staring down at her face, her wet cheeks, her swollen, bitten lips.

Jocasta nodded. “You’re right,” she fended away. Her hands found her eyes, her cheeks, wiping away whatever remained of her tears. “She didn’t,”

Cloud reached them with a cold, determined expression on his face. Tifa tried to approach him, place a hand on his shoulder and let him know that _everything was gonna be alright_ , but he turned away.

“The Northern Crater. That’s where we’re going next,” 


	23. Demons

Jocasta stared out of the window of the small house they’d settled in for the night. The entire Forgotten City was abandoned ever since the extinction of the Ancients, and night had arrived not long after _it_ happened. She let out another sigh. Her temple pressed against the window as she barely listened to Barret’s and Cid’s loud snoring that came from the other rooms. All of her attention was focused outside. On the darkness of the night that spread over the entire forest. The white trees glistered in the dark bringing enough light. The moon and the stars were hidden beneath a thick layer of dark clouds.

They had made sure they had settled in a house that had enough rooms for all. Jocasta tried to ignore her exhaustion. The pain on her limbs that came from dealing with monsters on the way back to the city. Not to mention the insistent ache that came on her muscles from the tiredness. She hadn’t slept in so many days, she’d lost count. But all that didn’t matter.

The team was a mess, and so was she. After Aerith’s death, none would be able to go back to normal. Cloud seemed that all he cared about was the mission. _Dealing with Sephiroth_. But Jocasta knew that this was just a mechanism people used to keep themselves distracted from the infinite loss that came when a loved one died. She’d once used science as her own _distraction,_ and things went _downhill_ anyway.

Jocasta turned around at the sound of metallic sabatons clacking on the wooden floor. The lantern placed on top of a bench in the room didn’t bring enough light to be able and see clearly, but both of them didn’t have that problem. Vincent’s crimson eyes were bright in the darkness as he eyed her for a moment before he settled on one of the two beds in the room.

She settled on hers. The beds were old, but they should be enough to get them through the night. She lied down supinely. Her one hand rested on top of her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. Jocasta wasn’t going to sleep. She didn’t _want_ to. But she might _have_ to eventually.

Jocasta turned on one side, her body faced Vincent’s bed. He was resting his back against the old wooden bed frame. One foot was bent up while the clawed hand rested on top. His head rested back against the bed frame.

She knew that none of them were really up for sleeping. It was, all the same, every single night. One would sleep while the other would look after the other. Vincent was the only one who could _sympathize_ with her for their condition. But he still didn’t know what demon she had. He hadn’t asked her any more questions concerning her past. He knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it, and maybe he shouldn’t ask her in the first place.

But he remembered how much of a loss Aerith was to her when the young girl died. Of course, _depression_ was something they were both pretty much used to it, but he _hated_ watching her cry. So much more must’ve happened that she wasn’t telling him.

“You knew Aerith?” Vincent’s voice snapped her gaze up at him.

Her head rested on top of her hand’s palm before she lifted it up and sat on a sitting position on her bed so that she could look at him fully. She sighed “Yeah. She was only a baby when I met her but… still,”

“Met her?”

Her eyes drifted on the fists of her hands that pressed against the bed. She pursed her lips and shook her head. She knew that one way or another she’d have to complete her story.

“When I was _done_ handing him my discoveries on JENOVA’s genome, Hojo took them in and killed Gast. Ifalna and Aerith who was still a few months old baby were brought to Shinra HQ to be experimented on. I tried to break them out but I…” her voice broke for a moment. She gritted her teeth suppressing the need to cry as she recalled the long-lost memories that she was trying so hard to forget. “…I failed. Somebody gave me in. SOLDIERs chased me back to the Shinra Manor in Nibelheim. I went there to destroy my files and whatever was left of my project on JENOVA’s genome. There was just no time. I injected myself with whatever I had created so that Hojo wouldn’t get his hands on them,”

Jocasta stopped when she felt a tear rolling down her cheek and she noticed Vincent was sitting beside her. She wiped the tear away from her cheek and she let out another heavy sigh.

“Of course, he did get his hands on me and, whatever I’ve been trying so hard to hide, was his,” She turned her head to look at him. Vincent had his gaze locked on the floor; fists clenched. “He’d talk about the terrible things he did to you and…” she bit her tongue “…do you… do you hear voices inside your head too?” she asked.

Vincent took a moment before he answered “I do,”

Jocasta nodded “Me too,” she said.

She knew that Vincent had Chaos, but she had no idea what Hojo had put into her. She had heard Hojo’s mumbling stuff related to Lucrecia’s thesis while he was conducting his experiments on her. But she knew Vincent had no idea that Lucrecia had put that _demon_ inside of him. _It’s best if he never finds out._

“The only time I didn’t hear them was… well,” He hesitated, not really sure how to put it into words without making things awkward. But Jocasta finished for him.

“When we slept together! At the Gold Saucer, right?” Jocasta asked as she turned at him. Her hand found her chin as she tried to fumble through her knowledge on science. “What if… what if our demons do not co-exist when they’re close. Maybe yours is afraid of mine, or mine’s afraid of yours, that’s why they both stay silent, to avoid conflict,” She said “Of course, this is just a hypothesis. Nothing can be for sure,”

He had a feeling that she was right. There was no other explanation. Maybe there was a conflict between the two entities that were forced inside of them.

“If your presence silences Chaos, then it’s best if we stay close. I don’t want to harm you or anybody in this team,” Vincent admitted.

Jocasta nodded “Agreed. I don’t wanna harm anybody either,” she said before she let a small moment of silence fall between them. Her hand hesitantly found his that was still fisted against his knee while sitting beside her on her bed. The touch of her hand against his made him unclench his fists and look at her with a confused look, but with a look that told her _leave me alone._ But she wasn’t going to _leave him alone,_ she never would. _Never again._

“We should sleep and test that theory,” Jocasta said as she lied down on her bed. She made space on the other side, patting against the blank mattress beside her on the space she’d left for him.

Vincent sighed, knowing that he’d probably regret this. But a night’s rest was the best thing that could happen to him now. He was exhausted. He could feel the tense insistent ache on his limbs with each move he made.

He lied beside her on the spot she’d left for him. His wine-red eyes could be discriminated from the darkness that surrounded them as the light in the lantern was slowly starting to die out. The bed was small, fit for one person only, so it wasn’t much comfortable. But for two people that weren’t used to sleeping on a bed, it was like sleeping on a fluffy cloud.

Jocasta wanted to move closer. Rest her head by his shoulder while he’d wrap his arms around her. But she didn’t. It’d make things too awkward, knowing that his mind was still focused on Lucrecia. Knowing that she’d promised herself she’d never get that close to someone ever again. She knew he’d never get his mind off of Lucrecia. Even though she’d turned him into the _monster_ he _now_ was, and his life became a torment because of the demon _she’d_ put inside of him.

Lucrecia should’ve just let him rest like Jocasta had told her back in the day. But when Lucrecia asked for her help to bring him back, Jocasta couldn’t deny it. She couldn’t let her friend die while he still had a chance, even though she knew she should. She should spare him of that life.

But right _now,_ she was relieved that he was there. Both relieved and terrified. She knew that somebody so much genetically modified as Vincent, was too hard to die, but if anything were to happen to him… She shuddered. Eyes closed briefly and she shook her head.

“Everything alright?” Vincent asked as he watched her.

“I’m just…” She lifted her gaze, meeting his for a long moment “…I’m glad you’re here, Vincent. I really am,”

If it wasn’t for the darkness that surrounded them, she could’ve sworn, he had smiled “I’m glad you’re here too… Jocasta,”


	24. Frost

She began to stir when she felt light hitting her eyelids. Jocasta opened her eyes, allowing the morning light in. Her eyes took a moment to adjust before she gained her senses fully, and she felt arms around her. She looked down only to find his left arm that wore the gauntlet, around her waist. Jocasta turned her attention to her hands. Her palms were pressed flat against the leathery straps of his chest.

Her eyes widened in panic. _No, no, no… This is too close!_ Jocasta let out a yelp of surprise before she tried to move away, but all she ended up doing was falling off the bed.

Vincent snapped out of his sleep. He stood on his elbow. Wine-red eyes searched curiously for her, before her hand came up, letting him know she was on the floor.

“I’m fine!”

He made a hum of acknowledgement before he settled back on the mattress. His right hand rubbed over his eyes and his forehead, surprised when he realized that he had actually slept that night. No cries of horror, no midnight crying, no claw marks on the walls around them. All he could do was admit that Jocasta’s assumptions were correct. There was indeed some kind of conflict between their demons, and being together like that, kept them quiet and therefore their minds at ease. He watched Jocasta as she picked herself up, with a grunt, and sat back on the bed. She chuckled.

“Maybe we should make sure there’s a double bed next time,” she said, unable to hold back a giggle. Vincent gave her an awkward look that made her bite her tongue “Oh God! We’re friends, I don’t mean it in any weird way! I know you’re still brooding over my sister, and it’d be so damn weird if we uh… well you know,”

**_Real smooth._ **

“Shut up,” Jocasta whispered under her breath, as a response to her demon’s voice inside her head. Her eyes looked back at Vincent. He was still staring at her with an eyebrow arched “I’m just saying that the, uh… the hypothesis was proven correct, right?? Didn’t you sleep tonight?? I don’t remember you turning into some demonic beast to tear off my clothes and feast on my flesh, am I right? ‘Cause believe me! I would’ve known if that happened,” she said and she laughed awkwardly when she realized that the more she spoke, the worse things got. “I…” she looked away from him and focused on her fingers that were messing nervously with the fabric of her long sleeves “…I should probably shut up,”

Vincent shook his head and woke up. He put on his sabatons and stood on his feet “That would be… for the best,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Obviously, the team was not ready for _that._ Tifa and Yuffie were curled over each other, shaking like twisted tree trunks as the cold air bit hard against their exposed bodies. The norther they headed, the more difficult it got to move through the snow that had reached the level of their knees.

They had been walking over the mountains the entire day. Everybody did look pretty much exhausted and the sun must’ve had already hidden beneath the distant mountains. None could really tell where the sun was at this point. The entire sky hid behind a pretty thick layer of fat grey clouds that wouldn’t stop throwing loads of snow.

Barret and Cid were wearing their spare jackets which weren’t enough against the windy air of the snowstorm around them, but they were _something._ Cloud didn’t seem to have a problem against the cold, though. His shoulders and arms were exposed against the frostbite, but he with Vincent, Red, and Jocasta, were the ones that moved forward leaving all the others behind. Of course, Cait had no problem with the cold either.

Jocasta could not _feel_ the cold. Maybe she was sensitive against the warm temperatures, but _definitely_ Hojo had taken care of her endurance on low temperatures. Her skin was still cold though and she could tell from how pale it looked. Maybe it did have an effect on her body, but she guessed, Hojo had somehow _killed off_ all of her temperature receptors. She couldn’t feel the cold, but it did affect her body. _Still just a guess._ She thought to herself as she dragged her foot over the fat layer of snow to keep moving forward.

She turned around to take a look at the others. Red stopped beside her, to take a look at the others as well, while he felt Jocasta’s hand running over his orange mane.

“You think they will make it?” Red asked.

Cid reached them, stabbing the tip of his spear into the snow and keeping himself up grabbing his hands on it. “Of course, I’mma fuckin’ make it, I wear fuckin’ clothes. Didn’t come fuckin’ naked in the goddamn Northern Mountains,” he said, glancing back at Yuffie and Tifa.

Their whole bodies were shaking, grabbing hold on one another for the least bit of warmth they could gather from each other. “H- how… w- were we s- supposed to know… that w- we’d come here?!” Yuffie stuttered, but she still looked pretty angry as she shot Cid a deadly look.

“What part of ‘North’ doesn’t mean GODDAMN SNOW?!” Cid cried out incredulously.

Yuffie opened her mouth to throw something back, but Tifa cut her “Enough! We need… to keep… moving,” she said.

Jocasta sighed as she took off her cloak. She had made sure she’d wear something long-sleeved below, so she could go on without wearing her _big-ass_ grey cloak. She handed it at Tifa, as she passed the piece of clothing around herself and the sixteen-year-old like one huge blanket. The two gave her grateful looks.

“T- thank you… d- dramaqueen,” Yuffie said with trembling lips and teetering teeth.

Jocasta rolled her eyes at the nickname the young girl had come up for her the same day. “Let’s not make that a thing,” she said as she turned around and proceeded to keep walking.

Cid let out a laugh “It suits you, kid,” he stabbed his spear a bit further and moved forward.

Jocasta shot him a look as she dragged the snow with her feet. She could practically feel the white fluffy snow overflowing her boots which irritated her more than the _ridiculous_ nickname “I ain’t a freakin’ dramaqueen, alright?!”

Cid opened his mouth to speak but cut himself when he spotted a faint light in the blizzard. “Hey! Strife!” he cried out.

The young ex-SOLDIER turned around and looked at the direction Cid pointed. Jocasta felt Cait Sith jumping on her shoulder as he pointed at the distance.

“Must be Icicle Inn, lads! Perfect place to rest for the night!” Cait Sith said.

Jocasta’s eyes widened when the realization hit her. _Icicle Inn_ was the place where Hojo had spotted Gast and Ifalna so many years ago before he killed the scientist and abducted the Cetra with their child. _So Gast was hiding here._ It was far. Far away from Shinra, that’s how they got to hide two years before they were found. She wondered if she could find Gast’s house. She wondered if there was anything left in it. Maybe she could find a few answers.

“No,” Cloud said as he turned his back at the team and looked at the endless dark of the night that reflected on the snow “We need to keep moving,” fists clenched determinedly.

“Cloud!” Jocasta cried out as she moved closer to the young ex-SOLDIER “It’s nearly nightfall. The degrees are dropping dramatically and the snow will freeze. We won’t be able to walk, anyway,” she dropped a cold hand on his shoulder making him turn at the exhausted members of the team “Not to mention that they won’t make it. They’re not like us,”

“She’s right,” Vincent’s voice came from the side.

Cloud sighed and nodded. He turned at the others “Alright. We’ll spend the night in Icicle Inn and leave at dawn. Let’s go,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta slipped her gaze around the living room of the small house they’d booked for the night. Vincent was sitting on the sofa with Cid watching the news on the TV. Cid had already started snoring with his head falling on the side by the cushions. Yuffie, Tifa, and Cloud must have already been asleep in a few of the bedrooms upstairs.

Jocasta’s gaze slipped on Red, who was sleeping on the floor beside Barret who was sitting on a comfortable armchair by the fireplace. Barret’s snoring didn’t come long after and Vincent finally pressed the button on the remote control turning off the TV.

She sipped the last drop of whiskey that had remained in her glass, savoring the least bit of its bitter taste that she hadn’t tasted for so long. She’d found a bottle in one of the house’s shelves and it tasted like it’d been much older than herself. _The older the better._ Jocasta had been sitting by the table in the kitchen. She set her glass in the sink and she walked towards the living room to make sure that everybody was sleeping.

She wanted to wander around town to find Gast’s old home. She knew that her once fellow scientist would have left something back. Something to help her figure out what she had. What Hojo had done to her. Jocasta already had a full night’s rest and she felt like she could make it without sleep for the next two nights, or three.

The moment she stepped outside, the cold, night wind met her face. The snow around the streets had indeed frozen and she noted to herself that she should be careful when making her way on the icy streets.


	25. Gast Faremis, An Old Friend

After walking for a while in the silent town, her gaze caught something suspicious. It wasn’t so difficult to spot Gast’s house when the entire thing was surrounded by a frozen yellow-black ribbon with the _RESTRICTED AREA_ sign on top. Her fingers brushed over the old plastic ribbon. The color had faded away in a few spots, letting her know that it had been standing around the perimeter on metallic pegs for a long time.

Jocasta shook her hand to make the dagger beneath her sleeve, slide over her palm. With a swift move, she cut the plastic ribbon making it fall on the ice below. She made her way towards the entrance of the house and side-kicked open the locked, wooden door.

She walked into the dark room. Her hands reached for the walls, searching for switches that were supposed to turn on the lights she supposed hung above her head. Hopefully, she found out that they hadn’t cut off the power from the old house, and the old lights worked, flickering at first.

It was a small house, with a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom, and a basement. Jocasta proceeded straight to the basement. The door was locked, but she found a key by the kitchen counter. She doubted if the key was compatible, but she was surprised it actually was.

Jocasta entered the basement, turning on the lights from the switch beside her. There was an old bench in the middle with a few rusty tools and a microscope that she doubted it was still working. White sheets were thrown over the monitors and computers that were attached to the wall, in an effort to keep them from being dusted.

She looked at something black and sticky that had coated the green carpet beneath her feet. Jocasta knelt down tracing her finger against it. It must’ve have been blood, but it was black because all these years it had oxidized. She sighed. She didn’t want to imagine Gast’s dead body sprawling over the very carpet she stood on.

Jocasta made her way towards the old computers and monitors. She pushed off the white sheets, leaving a cloud of dust flying in the air. She sat at the old wheelchair that creaked in response. She pressed the button of the old computer and waited for it to switch on.

Jocasta’s eyes drifted over the table the computer was resting on. There were a bunch of papers filled with notes and messy scribbling. She grabbed one of the yellowed-from-time papers and brought in front of her, recognizing Gast’s handwriting. Her eyes recognized the familiar chemical reactions and Gast’s notes around them. Letters nobody but a doctor could read.

She turned her attention on the computer’s screen once it was done opening up. She fumbled through the files that were stored in its memory. She opened a file named _‘The First Crisis of the Planet’._ It was filled with videos that Gast had probably recorded those two years he spent with Ifalna, away from Shinra’s reach.

She opened the first video. It was Gast’s face on the screen. His black moustache lied above his upper lip, nerdy glasses were placed on the bridge of his nose. He was wearing his white lab-coat as he always did. He turned at Ifalna who was sitting right beside him, wearing her purple dress. Pale brown hair and bangs fell on her face, while her green eyes glanced over the lenses of the camera. The recording was old. The camera could barely catch the colours, and the sound wasn’t the best quality, but it should be enough.

_“Alright, Ifalna. Tell me about the Cetra,” Gast said._

_“Two thousand years ago, the ancestors of the Cetra, were said to have heard the Planet’s scream. They followed it to the Knoll’s Pol, where they discovered the Planet’s great wound. Knoll’s Pol is here actually. Here is where the Cetra began learning how to communicate with the Planet. The Planet told them that it had been wounded by something that fell from the sky. Thousands of Cetra gathered here and attempted to mitigate the Planet’s injury. However, the wound was so deep, that the Planet needed many years to heal itself,”_

_“Do the Ancients- sorry, the Cetra possess special abilities?” Gast asked._

_Ifalna shook her head “No. It’s not that kind of power. The Planet’s energy is the combined life-force of all living things,” she answered, “The Cetra tended the land trying to keep this essential energy from dissipating but…” she sighed._

_“So the reason the ice never melts around the Great Crater of the North, is due to the energy concentrated at the Planet’s wound?” Gast asked as he scribbled something down on his notebook with his blue pen._

_“Yes. The energy used to heal the wound led the land to become impoverished. And thus, the Planet with it. It is said, the Planet suggested to the Cetra that they leave Knoll’s Pol, and yet…” Ifalna sighed again. Her gaze drifted away._

_Gast’s hand found her shoulder as he looked at her worriedly “It’s okay, dear. We can take a break,”_

_Ifalna lifted her gaze back to her beloved “I’m alright,” she gave him a weak smile “It was then when the Cetra were preparing to part with the land they had loved for countless of years…” then her smile faded as her gaze drifted away again “…That’s when **it** appeared…” she gritted her teeth “…in the form of our most beloved, it entered our minds and drove us insane…” he hands dug in her hair as she shut her eyes._

_“What was it?!” Gast asked, anticipating impatiently her answer._

_“It was that thing that injured the Planet. We called it…” she turned at Gast “…The Calamity from the Sky. It approached the Cetra with a familiar face, deceived them and infected them with a virus. The infected lost their minds and were slowly dragged to insanity while others turned into monsters. Monsters it used as its army and fight off everything that stood on its way. It did the same to all Cetra clans… and they… they all…”_

_And then she lost her words. Her hands found her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks and she sobbed. Gast passed a hand around her shoulders as she wept against his chest._

_“That’s enough for today,” he said._

And that was the end of the video. Jocasta listened to everything in wonder trying to catch the tiniest of details. Then she started talking to herself. She was alone, and it always helped her think when talking out loud.

“It shapeshifted,” she mumbled. Eyes stared at a random spot in the room as the realization hit her. Her hands searched around the mess of papers on the desk in front of her. She and Vincent were able to shapeshift because of Hojo’s experiments conducted on them. But she knew of only one other organism that had the ability to shapeshift. “JENOVA, the alien. The Calamity from the Sky,”

She found no notes on the alien’s genome. But she was sure. She was so sure that when she used to study it in Hojo’s labs, she’d found sequences that made _it_ able to shapeshift. She was so sure.

Jocasta turned her attention back at the computer’s screen, once she realized that the endless notes on the table had nothing related on JENOVA’s genome. Then her eyes spotted a file named _JENOVA._ She wasted no second further, and she opened it. It was filled with another series of videos that Gast had recorded.

_“JENOVA’s genome… I- I can’t believe it. It’s the same as ours! It’s… it’s not six nucleotides, it’s four but guanine and adenine come in variables. I- I can’t…”_

Jocasta chuckled. A hand found her forehead as she shook her head. _You brilliant son of a bitch, you figured it out._

_Then Gast pulled his attention away from the camera and on the loud creaking sound of the basement’s door. He turned around and smiled at the two-year-old little girl that came crawling in the basement._

_“Dadda…?”_

Jocasta’s eyes widened. Fists clenched as guilt flooded her once again. _Aerith._

_Gast chuckled getting off his chair and ending the recording._

Then Jocasta’s attention focused on another folder. A folder with her name on it. She double-clicked, opening it up. Gast had written down and decoded JENOVA’s genome. Her eyes widened when she realized he’d actually stored all of it in a folder in that very computer. There was only one video inside, and that wasn’t with Gast’s face on it. It was… She bit her lip… _Tedric._

She felt her heart dropping in her stomach as her fists clenched and immediately, she felt the stinging on her nose that let her know tears were gathering in her eyes. She hesitated to view the file. With trembling hands, she finally opened it and braced herself for what was to come.

Tedric stood in front of the camera, exactly as she remembered him all these years ago. The camera seemed to be older than the one Gast used, judging from the quality of the video. But she didn’t care. Her fingers touched the screen as her eyes rested on her long-gone beloved. He wore his glasses. His hair was a mess. His lab-coat placed on top of it all, as it always did. He’d never take it off, even when he’d pass out from the exhaustion in the lab and she’d have to wake him and convince him to go to bed.

But on the screen _now_ he looked nervous. His hands were trembling as a finger found his glasses and tucked them further up his nose. Jocasta gritted her teeth when she noticed a drop of blood slipping down his forehead.

_“J- Jocasta… If you’re seeing this. You probably think I’m dead. I’m not. Not yet, at least. I- I’ve been set up-” Tedric cut himself at the loud sound of somebody banging and shouting by the door outside of the room he stood in. He hastily turned back at the camera “Deepground! Hojo’s in charge of it all. He’d always been! JENOVA’s genome! You need to decode it. Only you can do that. I know it. People infused with JENOVA cells… it’s not them. They’ve no idea what they’re doing! Save them, Jocasta! Save them, you can-”_

_Then the door of his room opened and a bunch of Shinra SOLDIERs walked in with guns pointed at him. Tedric turned one last time back at the camera. He raised his hands in defeat._

_“Jocasta… I love you. You know that… right?”_

_“Fire!”_

_And then the guns started firing and countless bullets tore through his back. Tedric’s blood fell on the camera’s lenses, giving it nothing to record but darkness._

Jocasta watched in shock as the video ended and she was left there, staring blankly at the screen of the old computer. She’d just watched the man she loved, die… _For the second time._ Her hands found her eyes as she wept against them. She felt, whatever was left of her heart, breaking for the second time and it hurt worse than it did before.

It was a much bigger pain this time and she could do nothing but _stare._ Because that was the best she could ever do when she watched her loved ones die. That was the only option given to her. She was a doctor, but she never got the chance to save any of them. _My parents, Tedric, Lucrecia, Gast… Aerith._

Jocasta shook her head. She had spent thirty years mourning for her losses. She knew _now_ she had to focus on what Tedric had told her.

_“…People infused with JENOVA cells… it’s not them. They’ve no idea what they’re doing! Save them, Jocasta! Save them-”_

She knew nothing for sure as to what he meant with that. But she knew _whatever_ he meant; she’d have to do it.

“It’s not them… what is it then? What do you mean?!”

“Who’re you talking to?”

Jocasta jumped in surprise and she immediately spun the wheelchair around, to see who it was. Her dagger was already in her hand as she threw it at the intruder, afraid that it might’ve been Shinra or _anything else._

She was more shocked when she realized it was Vincent. He stared blankly at the dagger that stabbed the wall beside him, that would’ve met the middle of his eyes if he hadn’t moved out of the way just in time. He was surprised that her target was almost perfect.

“Vincent! Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I thought it’d be somebody of Shinra’s! Or-” She got up to approach him and retrieve her dagger “Ugh- for goodness’ sake, you scared the shit outta me! How can you be so quiet wearing sabatons?!”

Vincent ignored her question “I saw you exiting the house in the middle of the night. Just making sure you’re safe,” he said.

Jocasta gave him a smile “I’m alright. You know I can take care of myself,”

Vincent grabbed the dagger off the wall and handed it to her “I can see that,” he watched her placing her dagger beneath her sleeve again, before he asked, “What is this place?”

Jocasta sighed. Her gaze drifted all over the basement, which actually looked more like a lab. She turned around and walked towards the computer again. “This is Gast’s house, I guess. He spent two years here with the Cetra and…” she sighed “…Aerith. Before Hojo brought them in, that is,”

Vincent followed her to the computer. He stared down at the endless videos and data files that she had been fumbling through. “And these?”

“I guess… Gast left some stuff back for me…” Jocasta said. She opened the data files, that stored JENOVA’s entire genome decoded by Gast. She chuckled “…he’d done it. He decoded it too…” she sighed.

Her gaze fell on a photograph, covered in the endless amount of paper scattered across the desk. The ochre paper, of the black and white photograph, exposed its old age. Her hand reached for it, drawing it out from papers and she looked at it for a moment.

She chuckled bitterly as she recalled the memory “We were a group of talented scientists. Studied in the same University together,” she said as she handed the photograph at Vincent.

Vincent’s attention focused on it. It was Gast, Hojo, Lucrecia, Jocasta, and Tedric, all dressed in their black outfits after their graduation ceremony. They all had wide smiles, looking significantly younger than when he’d met them. Jocasta’s hair was one long curly mess as her circular glasses rested on top of her nose. Hojo and Gast were wearing their glasses as well, Lucrecia was standing between them, with that bright smile that he always longed to see on her lips.

He noticed Tedric’s one hand passed around Jocasta’s waist as he pressed her against him and she had leaned her head over his shoulder with a smile that he’d never seen on her lips. They all looked _so happy._ Their diplomas in their hands as they smiled genuinely at the old camera’s lenses that had drawn the old photograph.

Jocasta’s chuckle snapped his gaze off of the photo “Of course, there was some age difference. Gast, Tedric and Hojo had just finished their PhDs, whereas, me and Lucrecia had finished our Post-Graduates. We worked on our PhDs next year though,” Her gaze drifted away as she smiled “We’d gather at the Library during blank periods, and talk about how we were going to change the world for the better,”

Vincent chuckled bitterly at the irony. “I don’t suppose you and Hojo were friends,”

Jocasta shook her head “Nah. Hojo was the silent one. He’d distance himself from everything and everybody,”

She turned her attention back on the screen of the computer. There were still so many files that she knew she’d have to study. But _right now,_ there was no time for it. Maybe she could spend the night there, but she knew that one night wasn’t enough.

“You should go rest for a while,” Jocasta said as she turned at Vincent. He placed the photograph back down on the desk beside her. “I’ve got some studying to do,”

Vincent eyed her for a moment before he nodded “I’ll get Cloud and the others pass by tomorrow morning,”

She gave him a smile “Thanks,” and he nodded exiting the room.


	26. Hope

_“Would you mind handing these files to Dr. Hollander, for me? I have one more job to do for Professor Hojo,” Jocasta said as she handed the black leather folders on her assistant._

_“Of course, Professor,” The young woman said, grabbing the folders in her hug, before turning around and vanishing in the endless halls of Shinra HQ._

_Jocasta sighed heavily as she turned on the other side of the hall, and started making her way a few levels below. It was the first time they’d attempt to create Sephiroth Clones. Jocasta didn’t want to think of what kind of method Hojo had used to extract cells from the three-year-old boy. She’d often find little action figures scattered around the halls, and everybody knew that they belonged to Sephiroth._

_The little boy had been growing in the Shinra HQ around the levels 49 and 60. He’d crawl around the place, all alone, searching for attention and getting none. Jocasta had tried to approach him, but he’d crawl away. He’d hide in the shadows, staring at the people with wonder in his huge baby green eyes._

_Jocasta reached the Corporate Archives. It was a huge room filled with bookcases that stored all of the old data of Shinra’s that nobody anymore looked for. She navigated herself over the bookcase where she knew she’d find what Hojo wanted her to retrieve before they’d get on with the experiment._

_Her fingers slipped around the books, as she hastily read the titles on the sides. When she finally found what she was looking for, she grabbed it in her hug and turned around to leave. But something stopped her. She couldn’t be sure, but she heard the faint sound of sobbing and she tried to follow it. It looked like someone must’ve been crying by the other side of the bookcase._

_Jocasta followed the sound by the other side and her face softened when she saw the little boy crying. Sephiroth had his feet pressed against his chest, one hand grasping the other by the shoulder where Jocasta assumed, they’d taken all the blood samples they needed for the upcoming experiment._

_Once he noticed her, he tried to fend away alarmed, but Jocasta knelt on the floor, to make sure she was on his level._

_“It’s alright,” she said._

_The toddler stopped moving for a second. His shiny eyes stared back at her cautiously “Are… are you scawy?” he sniffled and sat back down on his bum “Like- Like the people in white?”_

_Jocasta pursed her lips when she realized he was talking about her other ‘fellow’ scientists. She sat back on her feet and gathered her hands on her lap. “I like to think I’m different,”_

_“Have… have you come to hurt me too?” he asked, ready to start crawling away._

_Jocasta did not try to reach him. The psychology books she’d read, said that she shouldn’t scare somebody that has already been scared. So, she stayed put and he did not crawl away either._

_“No. I’d never hurt you,” Jocasta said calmly, and she gave him a reassuring smile._

_“B- But the other p- people do…” Sephiroth said. His small fingers tightened around his other arm as he let out another sob and another tear rolled down his cheek._

_Jocasta could only feel her heart breaking. The few silver hair on his head fell messily on his face as he brought up his little fists, wiping the tears from his eyes. The little one let out another sob as he opened his bright green eyes to glance over at her._

_“I- I just want my mom,”_

_She could no longer stand there and watch him. She could feel her own tears gathering in her eyes, as she gazed at the poor soul who’d done nothing to deserve such a life. Nothing to deserve being treated as a test subject ever since he was a baby. Never given the chance to meet his parents, his mother. Never given the chance to rely on somebody. Anybody._

_Jocasta slowly approached him. She knelt beside him and she lend her hand over at him. When the little one realized that she’d reached close, he nearly started crawling away, but he stopped and his terrified little eyes found her. His little hand reached for hers with shaky little fingers, wet from his tears. He hesitated before he placed his hand on hers and let her bigger fingers close around his._

_And that’s when she promised herself, she was going to save him from this. She was going to help him. She had to. She had to when she gazed in his cat-green unnatural eyes that should’ve been brown. When she glanced over his silver unnatural hair and she knew they should’ve been brown or black._

_And then, Tedric’s voice echoed in her mind._

_“People infused with JENOVA cells… They’re not themselves! They’ve no idea what they’re doing! Save them, Jocasta! Save them-”_

Jocasta’s eyes snapped open. Her fists clenched as she pushed her face off the endless sheets of notes, she’d made last night. She looked at the computer’s screen. Its intense light hit ruthlessly her sensitive eyes. She blinked a few times; her hands found her forehead. She felt pain on her waist and the back of her neck, reminding her how much of a bad idea it was to sleep on a desk.

She wasn’t really sure, but she was working on a theory that might have been valid. Sephiroth had been _injected_ with JENOVA cells, he didn’t have the alien’s genome _sewn_ on his own. He was just having the alien’s cells that had apparently affected his mind and they were _controlling_ him somehow. If she could help his weak immune system build antibodies, or transmit him antibodies that she’d made herself in the lab… She rubbed her forehead trying to figure it out.

Hojo had weakened his own child’s immune system on purpose so that it would accept foreign cells. It would accept everything she’d give him. _Antibodies that kill the alien cells._

She could build a few serums in an advanced lab. She knew she could. _I can save him… I can…_

“Yo, Joe!”

Jocasta sighed as the sixteen-year-old’s voice came from behind, letting her know that the new day had finally dawned and the team was ready to keep moving. She turned around; her eyes met the ridiculously energetic teenager who’d been wearing more clothes this time.

“Ooohhh!! What is that???” Yuffie said as her eyes widened in wonder as she stared at the microscope and the lancets that were spread on the desk. Her hands reached for the lancets but Jocasta slapped her hand away.

“Don’t touch that. It’s rusted, you’re gonna get tetanus and I won’t be able to deal with it here,” Jocasta said dryly as she gathered a handful of papers with her notes and stuffed them in her bag that was thrown by her shoulder.

Yuffie frowned as she followed Jocasta out of the basement “Jeez, what’s with you and being such a grump?” she looked around her in Gast’s house. “What’s this place? Is it yours?”

“No,”

They walked outside the house. Her eyes met Cloud and the others, chatting to each other.

“The hell you been doin’ in somebody else’s house?!” Barret cried out.

Jocasta turned at Vincent “I thought you’d tell them,” and he just shrugged in response. Jocasta groaned “This is a friend’s house, and that’s all you need to know,” she said briefly.

Cloud nodded before he approached her and placed a hand by her shoulder “We need to talk,” he said.

Jocasta nodded, but it was hard to ignore the other’s looks focused on them as they fended away from the team. Especially Vincent’s, as he watched them with an arched eyebrow.

Jocasta turned her attention at Cloud as he spoke “Sephiroth said something, back in that cavern,” Cloud started as he crossed his hands against his chest “He said you know what _I_ am,”

Jocasta sighed. _Of course._ She shook her head, “Trust me, you don’t want to know,” she turned to head back to the others, but Cloud stopped her, grabbing a hold of her elbow.

“Jocasta. You worked with Hojo. What do you know?” he insisted.

Jocasta bit her lip “Look. I wasn’t there when he got his hands on you. But I know Hojo had started creating Sephiroth Clones long ago. Most SOLDIERs were Mako infused, but First-Class SOLDIERs have more than Mako inside of them,”

Cloud stared blankly at her for a moment, before the realization hit him “JENOVA cells?” he asked.

Jocasta nodded “The first test subjects we infused with JENOVA cells, all failed and died within the next few weeks. But then there were three that lived longer than we expected. Only one succeeded, though. Sephiroth. The other died, and the third one degraded to death, whereas Sephiroth was drifted to madness and now he’s become a puppet of the alien,” Jocasta said.

“Alien?”

“A Calamity from the Sky,” Jocasta said “It was a meteor that fell on Gaia two-thousand years ago and the lifeform it carried, JENOVA, wiped out the Cetra,”

Cloud nodded “And now he wants to send another Meteor. With another… Calamity,” he shook his head “He needs to be stopped,” his fists clenched.

Jocasta placed her hand on his “Cloud, I-” she hesitated. She knew how he would react because she knew that she already sounded absurd “…I can save him,”

Cloud drew his hand away and looked at her in disbelief. “Save him?! After everything, he’s done?!”

“It’s not him! Sephiroth’s not-” she was cut when she noticed the others approaching.

“ _‘_ scuse me, but did you just say you wanna save SEPHIROTH?!” Barret’s voice came from behind.

Tifa’s hand found her mouth as she gasped and stared in disbelief at Jocasta “You can’t be serious,”

“I am pretty damn-serious!” Jocasta cried out.

“You’re outta your mind, kid?!” Cid cried out.

Jocasta took a deep breath as her hand found her forehead and she tried to explain things as simply as possible. “So, JENOVA, right? An alien that fell with a meteor and wiped out the Cetra two-thousand years ago, but the thing is _how_ did a single entity brought the extinction of a civilization comprised of thousands? It got in their minds! It drove them insane and the Cetra turned against their own. They wiped out their own kind because they didn’t know what they were doing!”

“So, you’re saying that… Sephiroth is not conscious of his actions?” Tifa asked.

“Exactly!” Jocasta said.

The team fell silent for a second as they took their time to ponder on it. It made sense, but they all held a big grudge against Sephiroth, and _saving_ him would never sound like a great idea.

“I can reverse things! I can make them right, for once. Please, let me _save_ somebody!” Jocasta added desperately as she slipped her gaze around the troubled faces of her friends.

Vincent buried his face further behind his collar to hide a creeping smile that he couldn’t help letting take over his pale lips. _There she was,_ Jocasta, the woman he’d met so long ago. The only scientist of Shinra’s that actually wanted to help than _destroy._ He hadn’t noticed how much he admired that _till now._ That both excited and frightened gleam of yearning in her eyes. _A yearning to help_ even her friends’ sworn enemy.

And what she said, it _did make sense._ No one would just _stab_ a girl who’d done nothing to anyone. Sephiroth wasn’t _human_ but he still craved for his _Mother._ Just like Ifalna had said in these videos, that _thing_ took the forms of the people’s beloved and thus it drove them insane, and all that Sephiroth ever wanted was a _mum_. Or at least somebody that would protect him from Hojo’s experiments, Shinra’s rough SOLDIER training grounds, and _now_ JENOVA.

Jocasta wasn’t sure that her theories were valid, but she _wanted_ to help him. They were not related by blood, but he was still her foster sister’s son. The boy she’d tried her best to look after, the short time she’d spent in Shinra HQ.

Cloud shook his head “No.” He made a step back “It was scientists that started this. I won’t let another scientist mess up this time. I’m sorry, Jocasta,” he said coldly before he turned around and started heading towards the street and back to the snowed woods that surrounded the village.

Jocasta sighed disappointingly as she watched the others giving her similar looks before they walked past her and followed their leader. Cid placed his hand by her shoulder, catching her attention.

“I don’t know, kid. That Sephiroth guy does sound like a dick, ya know?” Cid said.

Jocasta groaned irritatingly “It’s not him!”

“Well, what if you’re wrong?” Cid asked.

Jocasta sighed and let her gaze rest on the snow that surrounded her black boots. She knew that nothing could be for certain _until it was put in a lab and examined_. And then she groaned at herself for making such thoughts. Thoughts that only Hojo would make. She remembered how much Sephiroth hated being dragged in the labs when he was little. How her heart shattered to pieces every time she’d just stand and watch because she knew that she’d be too powerless against Hojo’s guard. And _right now,_ she was thinking of dragging Sephiroth back in the labs where he’d been so much traumatized ever since he was a kid. Her fingers clenched as she shook her head. _But I’m having good intentions… I swear._

“Besides, Cloud’s got a point. A bunch of scientists fucked up the world-”

“I’m not like them!” Jocasta cut him.

Cid pursed his lips and he sighed “I know, kid,” then he followed the others leaving Jocasta and Vincent alone.

Jocasta turned at Vincent. Her eyes pinned on his unreadable face, searching for approval. “Vincent, please tell me you agree with me!”

Vincent sighed heavily “If I could avoid harming Sephiroth, I would…” he hesitated to spell _her_ name “…he’s… _Lucrecia’s_ son, after all,”

Jocasta sighed “Yeah…” she agreed and her gaze drifted sadly back on the snow they stood on.

Vincent let a small moment of silence fall between them. He saw the sadness written on her face. Her fingers messed with the long fabric of her sleeves, indicating _stress_. She had a focused and troubled expression on her face as she thought of something he couldn’t tell.

“Jocasta…” the sound of his voice, snapped her gaze back at him. Grey eyes found his as she waited for what he had to say “…you can save him,” he said and he felt his chest flutter when she cracked a smile. Vincent turned around to follow the others.

“You will,” 


	27. Snowed Mountains

“Don’t try to act innocent! I’ll never forget what you’ve done to my boss!”

“Oh, man…” Cloud sighed as he scratched his head not knowing how to further convince her that it was Sephiroth who _killed_ Tseng.

A young girl’s voice reached their ears as Jocasta and Vincent finally reached the others. The team was just staring at Cloud talking with the blonde girl, that looked like a Turk. She was assisted by two SOLDIER cadettes that were ready to follow whatever orders she’d give them.

Jocasta leaned close to Yuffie and asked “Uh… what’s going on?”

“Blondie over here thinks we killed her boyfriend,” Yuffie commented.

“Looks like talking won’t do! You’re going to have to feel some pain!” The young girl said as she nudged her SOLDIERs to stand back and she got in her stance “Just you and me, SOLDIER boy!”

“Wait, hold on a sec,” Jocasta said “Your boss? You mean Tseng?”

“Who else would I mean!?”

“Tseng’s alive, I saved his ass,” Jocasta said, placing a hand on her waist.

The girl got off her stance as she turned at Jocasta with a look of disbelief “N- no… you lie! H- he sent the distress signal… he said he was-”

“He was dying, but I helped,” Jocasta said shrugging.

The blonde looked at her for a second “How could you possibly-” then the realization hit her “Wait a minute… you look familiar,” she said before she clicked her fingers when the idea popped in her mind “Ha! You’re Dr. Jocasta Ernchester!”

“What’s with everybody knowing who the fuck you are?” Barret asked from behind.

Jocasta shrugged “I used to work with these people,”

“Your files claimed you deceased. The Turks would’ve known if you were alive,” She said as a hand found her chin and she thought for a second.

“What’s your name, again?” Barret asked.

“Elena…” and then she groaned at herself for opening up so easy “Ugh- It doesn’t matter! Why would you even help Tseng? We’re supposed to be enemies!”

“I’m a-” Jocasta cut herself and pressed her lips. All that _scientific_ stuff drowned her in the nostalgia of the days when she helped people daily. But _now_ she knew she was no longer that person. Hojo had _stolen_ that person when he started his experiments on her. “I **was** a doctor. I couldn’t let him die,”

Elena sighed and lowered down her guard. She nodded “I guess… it’s only fair if I leave you guys be. I’ve got different orders, anyway,” she said before she turned around to leave “I’d advise you, people, to leave this place…” she turned her head, giving them one last glance “…it’s not safe,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Cloud kept staring at the map he had recovered from the village, while he led his team into the thick forest of the mountainside. The dark-green of the trees, was covered in a heavy layer of snow. The snow was still puffy and it seemed _untouched._ No one had come outside that way and at some point, Jocasta thought that Cloud didn’t really know where he was taking them.

They had been walking for hours and the sun was starting to fall behind the mountains of the horizon. Jocasta made a step further as she stared around the trees. Some trees had a few series of crystals hanging by their bare branches. The lights of the surroundings reflected perfectly on the solidified water and she couldn’t help but stare at them.

The team had decided to take a break from the endless walking, while Cloud took his time to study the maps. Jocasta turned her head, glancing at her new companions. _Well,_ they had already spent a few weeks together. So much had already happened and she couldn’t believe she felt like she was _actually_ bonding with them.

Jocasta had to admit herself, Cid’s continuous cursing, Yuffie’s and Cait Sith’s sassy comments, Barret’s and Red’s continuous chatting… these were only a few of the many things she liked in her new companions. They were indeed a team that looked after each other.

“There you go,”

Jocasta turned around at Tifa’s familiar voice. Her nostrils caught the scent of steaming coffee that Tifa had made back in the village and had stored it in a thermos. The way Tifa would make sure everybody was emotionally okay, impressed her. Jocasta gave her a smile as she grabbed the hot cup.

“Thanks,” she said gratefully and Tifa smiled back before she turned around and walked towards Cloud.

Jocasta took a sip of her coffee, and her tongue savoured its bittersweet flavour. It’s been almost too long since the last time she’d tasted coffee, she couldn’t even remember the last time. The hot cup brought relief on her fingers, as she stared at Cloud and Tifa in the distance. Tifa had placed a hand on his shoulder while she talked at him.

She had that gleam in her eyes that Jocasta recognized all too well. It was the same she had when she’d spend these nights beside her own _beloved._ Endless hours and minutes, they spent together, but not nearly enough. _It’s never enough._

Jocasta slipped her gaze around the place trying to catch a glimpse of Vincent. He was standing alone, staring blankly at some random spot in the forest. He was _again_ brooding over some long-lost memory. His mind was focused on _her again._ And it would forever be, because Jocasta knew, that after everything that happened, he still loved her. After all that suffering, she’d put him through, all Vincent wanted in the end, was to see her smile. See her living a happy life. That’s all he ever wanted, and that’s all that he never got.

She didn’t know if she should approach him. If she should place a hand by his shoulder and try and be there for him. Take his mind off of something he both longed for, but it was still something that _killed_ him. That stole his will to _live._ She sighed as she walked towards him.

Her hand found his shoulder and he snapped out of his never-ending thoughts. He eyed her for a moment, before turning his attention back at the endless mountains that spread on the horizon. Most of their terrain was hidden beneath thick grey clouds.

The cold wind was harsh against his pale skin as his eyes remained fixated in the distance. He wasn’t really focusing on anything except the loud voices on his head. The bittersweet memories that would never stop creeping back to him. How much the demise of his beloved was his fault, and how he _now_ paid the price with his monstrous nature. He didn’t _want_ to kill Sephiroth. The son of the woman he most dearly loved. He was all that was left of her. 

“You’re thinking about her,” Jocasta said.

He noticed her taking a sip from her coffee, reminding him that he’d completely forgotten he was still holding his in his hand. But her question made him forget again. He let out another heavy sigh and just nodded. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s alright,” Jocasta said and she gave him a weak smile “I know the feeling,”

Vincent wouldn’t say anything more. Again, he just nodded, and then they both turned their attention at the team when Cloud spoke.

“There should be a hut located somewhere nearby. We can rest there for the night. The Northern Crater isn’t further away from here. We’ll reach it tomorrow morning,” Cloud instructed.

“Alright!” Barret cried out.

“Fuckin’ finally,” Cid said.

“Let’s go,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Cloud was right. There was indeed a hut built somewhere nearby the forest. The team reached it no longer after. Just in time for nightfall. Even though the hut was mostly wooden, it was covered with animal skin carpets all over, and it still looked pretty warm and cozy.

The owner of the hut was a kind old man that accepted them to stay for the night right away, on the simple condition that they hear his story. The team sat around on the fluffy sofas that were gathered close to the fireplace of the old man’s living room.

Yuffie, Barret, with Tifa and Cloud, slouched on the one sofa, whereas Jocasta sat between Cid and Vincent on the other. Cait had no problem settling on his Mog, and Red rested on top of his paws, close to the fireplace.

“Twenty years ago…” The old man started his story, settling in his armchair “…my friend, Yamaski, and I braved this giant cliff that stands no further away from here. We were trying to see what was on the other side. The longer we stayed there, the more the temperature dropped. It was so cold, our hands were turning in a pale shade of blue the further we climbed the cliff…”

Jocasta noticed the team was listening silently to the old man’s story, with either wonder in their eyes, or exhaustion. She noticed Cid had already passed out with his head falling by the side over his shoulder. It was hard to ignore his snoring. Barret too was ready to pass out, and Yuffie was already drooling over the soft cushions of the couch. Only Tifa, Cloud, Red, Vincent, and Jocasta paid attention to the old man, while Cait Sith had announced earlier that he had to run on a few more diagnostics.

“…suddenly the ice beneath our feet broke. Me and Yamaski were left hanging. He cut his rope so that I could climb up and live,” the old man sighed “If you kids are heading that way, make sure to keep yourself warm, alright?” he asked.

Cloud nodded. “We’ll do our best,” Tifa said reassuringly and she gave the old man a smile.

The old man smiled back before he stood up “I should let you kids sleep. Goodnight,” he said kindly before he left the room.

Jocasta noticed Tifa’s head resting on Cloud’s shoulder. His one hand passed around her waist, bringing her closer to him before the two of them closed their eyes and tried to rest.

Jocasta turned at Vincent. The flickering flame of the fireplace reflected perfectly on his crimson eyes as he stared blankly at it. Her head fell tiredly back on the couch, as the exhaustion gathered from the last two days.

“We should rest,” she said.

Vincent just nodded at her as a response, and his eyes remained pinned on the fireplace. His thoughts returned to his painful past. To the painful memories of whatever he remembered of his time in Hojo’s lab, and thought bitterly of how much he deserved all of it.

Jocasta’s hand pushed back the strands of his messy hair that always fell on his face. Vincent looked at her as he felt her soft, warm hand cupping his cheek, and he wouldn’t admit himself that he wanted to lean against that touch. That he wanted to tangle his arms around her and accept her _sympathy._ Her affection. The affection he so much yearned for. But he wanted _Lucrecia_ to give it to him. He wanted the woman he _loved._

“Tormenting your mind around such thoughts doesn’t help in anything, Vince,” Jocasta said. Her grey eyes looked up at his that were filled with sorrow and regret. The two feelings, he knew, he’d never be able to shake away.

He parted his lips to protest about the nickname but stopped himself when he realized that he would never be able to make her stop calling him that. He was familiar with Jocasta’s selfish stubbornness. He shook his head “You’re right,” he said.

It was hard to shake away that endless feeling of fear when it came to sleep. The fear that he’d have to relive painful memories in his endless nightmares. Nightmares his demon forced him to see so that he’d lose the control and it’d be free to take over. But _now_ he had to remind himself that _with her_ by his side, he wouldn’t have to worry about it. For once, he would be able to sleep peacefully just because _she was there_ , staring at him with worry in her magnificent grey eyes. With that longing of hers to help everybody. _Jocasta._ The friend that gave him all the strength he needed to _move on._

Vincent’s clawed hand, gently, slithered behind her waist. Her eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting such a gesture, but she more than welcomed it. Jocasta rested her head on his shoulder as she felt his red cloak folding around them both.

The cold metal of his gauntlet, raised shivers over her waist as she felt his artificial fingers grabbing hold of her and pressing her body against his. Her hand reached for his chest as she pressed her cheek against his shoulder. Before she had the chance to open her mouth and ask him about it, he talked first.

“Is that close enough to put our minds at ease?”

Jocasta smiled against his shoulder “It is,” she said.

“Then now, we may rest,”

And with that, she felt the weight of his cheek pressed against her hair, as he rested his head on top of hers, and closed his eyes. She closed hers too, with a smile, and with that flutter on her stomach that let her know she was going to regret _enjoying_ that moment too much.

But for a moment, she hushed these thoughts in her mind and closed her eyes. She was _there now,_ with _him,_ and she knew she was safe. She _felt_ safe. She let herself slide into the peaceful sleep that she knew it awaited her.


	28. The Northern Crater

Jocasta began to stir when she felt the leather of a gloved hand, cupping her cheek. She hummed in response and she leaned on the touch before she opened her eyes, and her gaze met Vincent’s for a short moment.

She realized they’d slept in that very same position the entire night. She smiled up at him as she felt his thumb sliding over her cheek. She felt that tightness in her chest. That warmth that spread beneath, a feeling so beautiful, yet a feeling she _hated._ It let her know that she was growing feelings, that she knew she’d be too powerless against them if she lingered on that moment any longer.

Vincent just stared at her. For a moment, his eyes rested on her face. The peacefulness of it while she slept, and her grey eyes that gazed up at his. They used to be brown, hazel. A color he recalled. Then his attention fell on the tips of her pink lips that curled up in a warm smile. A smile he only wished he’d seen on _Lucrecia’s_ lips the last time they talked.

Her face snapped back in his mind, and the guilt spread like a wildfire beneath his chest. He shook his head “We need to wake up the others and get going,” he said, pulling his arms away from her.

Jocasta nodded as she too fended away, something that brought both relief and _longing for more._ It was pointless to avoid admitting herself that she _liked_ sleeping beside him, and not just because of the nightmares that ceased. She felt _safe_ with his arms around her, even though the longer she thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded.

She shook the thoughts away, as she turned at Cid that slept beside them on the same couch, and placed a hand by his shoulder.

“Old man?”

He hummed in response, pausing his endless snoring for a moment.

“Wake up, we gotta get going,”

“Fuck off and lemme fucking sleep, kid,”

Jocasta tried to hold back a chuckle “You don’t want me to punch you, do you?”

Cid groaned irritatingly “Aight, aight, gimme a few more mins for fuck’s sake,” he said before grabbing a pillow from the couch and placing it on top of his head, to shelter his eyes from the morning light that came from the windows.

Jocasta chuckled “Just a few,” she then got up and walked towards Tifa and Cloud, who were curled over each other, sleeping peacefully. She almost hated to interrupt their sleep, but she knew she had to. She placed a hand on Cloud’s shoulder. Bright blue eyes found her.

“The sun’s up,” Jocasta informed him.

Cloud nodded before his hand reached for Tifa’s to wake her up. Jocasta turned around to see Cait Sith being switched on and waking up Barret and Red. Vincent turned at Yuffie, placing a hand on her shoulder. The sixteen-year-old didn’t wake up right away, but with a little more convincing, she eventually did.

Once the team was up and ready to go, they waved goodbye at the old man, as they exited the house. Cloud gathered them around, to let them know what they would be facing once they’d get on that crater. But before he had the chance to say anything, Barret spoke first.

“You know I’ve been thinkin’, seein’ a place like this, makes you realize how awesome nature is. But, if anyone ever told me to live here, I’d tell them to fuck off,” Barret said.

Jocasta shrugged “I don’t know, I kinda like snow,”

“Y- you’re kidding?! I- it’s so cold!!” The Wutaian girl complained. It looked like the extra layers of clothes she’d bought from the village, weren’t enough.

“I can live wherever they got cigarettes and some GODDAMN TEA!” Cid said “And apparently this place’s got none of these so no fuckin’ way,”

Cloud sighed before he spoke, drawing his companions’ attention “Vincent, Jocasta, and I are the only ones who can handle the cold. We will secure the route and the rest of you will come once we’ve done that,”

The others nodded before Cloud, Vincent and Jocasta started heading over the huge crater that rested in the distance. The more they approached it, the more the temperature dropped. Jocasta couldn’t feel the temperature, but she could see it from her fingers and her feet that were getting harder and harder to obey the commands of her mind.

Once they reached the great glacier, they started climbing, setting up ropes to ensure their safety. The weather was harsh. The wind smacked the frost all over their bodies. Jocasta reached for her dagger, but her fingers didn’t move. She raised her hand and looked at her frozen fingers, that were almost purple from the snowflakes that had stuck on her skin. She winced as she felt the stinging bite of the ice on her skin, but not the frost.

She groaned as she released her fingers off the grip of the snow, tightening her hand in a fist that grabbed around her dagger. She stabbed the dagger further up the glacier and pulled herself on the surface which Cloud and Vincent had just climbed on top.

Vincent lent a hand over at her, as he knelt on the snow, propped his clawed hand against his bent knee, and waited for her, to accept his gesture. Jocasta gave him a grateful look, as she struggled to keep herself pinned on the glacier. Her hand grabbed his, which felt significantly warmer, and he pulled her up so _easily._ She couldn’t help but give him a confused glance once she stood on her feet.

“What?” he asked.

“N- nothing, you’re just… uh…” Jocasta stuttered, trying to collect carefully her words. She felt heat spreading over her cheeks. A feeling she hadn't felt in a while “…strong,” _Am I blushing?_

“Hm,” was the only response he gave, but it almost sounded cocky. Vincent turned around and looked over at Cloud and at what he was staring at.

They’d finally reached the top of the cliff, and a massive crater spread beneath. Vincent and Jocasta looked at what rested in the middle. Something bright and windy, but green, was standing there. People in dark robes were scattered around, making their way towards it.

Jocasta noticed Cloud’s hands, fisting as he stared down at the Sephiroth Clones as they walked like ghosts towards their _Mother._ That very crater was where the planet had been wounded two thousand years ago by the _Calamity of the Sky._ Jocasta gritted her teeth. _JENOVA._

“You’re going after Sephiroth, aren’t you?” Vincent asked, turning at Cloud.

Cloud didn’t give an answer right away. His jaw clenched “You two can stay here if you’re planning on standing in my way,”

Jocasta groaned “Don’t you see?! You’re only gonna harm the clones! People this alien is using to shapeshift into Sephiroth’s body! A warrior’s body fit for battle! It could take the form of any of us!”

“They’re aiding him! They’re helping the real Sephiroth somehow! We need to stop them!” Cloud said angrily, as he turned at Jocasta and Vincent.

Jocasta sighed “How can you be sure that what’s happening is _Sephiroth’s_ plan?”

“It can’t be anyone else’s!” Cloud insisted. He groaned irritatingly “I have to do this,” he said determinedly as he made his way off the cliff and down to the crater.

“Should we help?” Jocasta asked turning at Vincent.

Vincent sighed “If he goes alone, he won’t make it,” and he proceeded to climb off the cliff.

Jocasta nodded as she followed closely behind. _This was going to be a long day._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The wind hit violently against their bodies as they tried to enter the middle of the crater, trying to see what was inside. Cloud was after Sephiroth. He didn’t care if he was striking down a clone, all he wanted was to make him pay for killing Aerith like that.

Jocasta had brought securely the rest of the team on the crater, and they all lined up over the slim part of land, trying to keep their balance and not fall. Jocasta braced herself with every single step. The stony path beneath their feet did not look all that stable and the crippling fear of falling was always there.

On the next step, her foot slipped as the stone beneath retreated and fell into whatever lied beneath. Jocasta let out a yelp of surprise as she knelt on her one knee and her hands clutched on the surface. She looked at the endless green that lied beneath as her other foot hung from the hole.

At the deafening sound of her fast heartbeat, as the adrenaline rushed in her veins, she could still make out the sound of her name from a low, deep voice she recognized well. _Vincent._ And immediately her worries were casted afar and her trembling hands grabbed his.

He pushed her up to safety on the path, with his hands tightly around her waist. She felt her back pressing on his chest and his chin pressing against her shoulder. He lifted her up as if she weighed no more than a boneless ragdoll. Her feet found the stones of the path and she let out a breath of relief that she wasn’t aware she was holding.

Vincent’s hands retreated from around her waist and she turned and looked at him gratefully “Oh my gosh, thank you, Vincent,”

She did look frightened. He learned she was afraid of heights ever since what happened when they boarded the Tiny Bronco. He just nodded in response and hid his smile behind that collar of his crimson cloak.

When the members of the team made sure everything was okay, they resumed their walk. They reached a part of the path where the winds had slowed down and it was easier to stand.

Then a familiar voice echoed in their surroundings.

“This is the end… for all of you,”

The team became uneasy at the voice as their scared and confused eyes scanned the perimeter trying to find where the voice had come from. It was apparently Sephiroth’s voice, but Jocasta refused to believe that it was _actually him._ It was a clone who had taken the form of his body, controlled by the JENOVA cells that were forced inside of it.

Everybody turned at the Sephiroth Clone that appeared in front of Cloud in the distance.

“This asshole again!” Barret cried out as he aimed his gun at the clone.

“Sephiroth!” Cloud cried out angrily, as his hand reached back and grabbed his sword, getting in his stance.

The team got in their stances. Tifa brought up her fists, Yuffie grabbed her shuriken and Cid grabbed his spear. Jocasta drew out her Sais, getting in her stance. She knew she’d only harm the clone. Not the _real_ Sephiroth. She noticed Vincent from the corner of her eye, as he drew out Death Penalty, and targeted the silver-haired man.

“This is the end for you!” Cloud said.

“You’re right. This is the end of this body’s usefulness,” Sephiroth said and then he disappeared.

“What the fuck!” Cid cried out.

“He can’t just have disappeared!” Barret cried out.

“Aww!! I was ready to kick his ass!” Yuffie protested.

“He must still be somewhere a-” Tifa tried to say, but she stopped midsentence when a giant, ugly monster appeared in front of them out nowhere. She gulped as her eyes glanced over the entire thing “-round,”

“We’re fucked!” Jocasta cried out as she moved out of the way as a blast of Red Light came her way.

The team launched over the monster with their weapons. Cid stabbed his spear, Yuffie threw her shuriken, Tifa casted a Firaga spell, and Barret started firing endless bullets at the beast. Cloud casted a Thundaga spell, and Red attacked with his sharp claws.

Jocasta created cuts on its side with her Sais, and she couldn’t help but stare at the greenish liquid that slipped out of the wounds. Vincent fired over the wounds Jocasta had created, ensuring the severance of the damage.

It didn’t take long before the team defeated the beast.

“What in the blazes was that?!” Cait asked as he turned Jocasta who had been tying a cloth around Yuffie’s shoulder. It wasn’t anything major. Just a scratch though deeper than a normal scratch should be. But she was going to be okay.

The sixteen-year-old winced as Jocasta finished “Thanks, dramaqueen,” all expressions of pain were wiped off her face as she asked again “But seriously, what was that?!”

“Something of JENOVA’s, I’m guessing,” Cloud said, placing a hand by his chin.

“Green blood does seem to be something of JENOVA’s. I guess the cells inside that unfortunate clone, made him shapeshift into this,” Jocasta explained.

“So, whatever’s beyond this point…” Tifa said as she turned her attention at the part of the pathway in the distance.

“It doesn’t want us to get there,” Cloud finished for her and she looked at him, giving him a nod. Cloud leaned on his one knee, grabbing the Black Materia, that the creature dropped once they killed it. He looked at it and he sighed, turning back at his team. “Sephiroth’s here… I can feel it. I can’t hold on to this,” Cloud said as his fingers tightened around the dark orb “I can’t when I know that Sephiroth will try to use me and who knows what he’ll make me do,” he gritted his teeth “Someone else must take it,”

“Alright, Cloud. Make your choice,” Tifa said.

Cloud’s eyes fell over his team. He nodded to himself when he reached a decision and walked towards Red handing him over the Black Materia.

“So, you want me to take it… I see,” Red said and he nodded at Cloud.

“Don’t give it to **anybody**. I’m counting on you, Red,” Cloud said before he turned at the rest of his team “Beyond this place there’s Sephiroth. All we have to do is defeat him and that will be the end of it,”

And then everything got white. A bright white, blinding light that made Jocasta shut her eyes closed. Her hands instinctively reached for her eyes, to shelter them from the light. But when she noticed the ruthless light had started fading away, she opened her eyes again, and she found herself in a room she knew all too well.

_“You don’t care about healing people anyway!”_

She heard the sound of her own voice. A cry that both hid fear beneath frustration. Jocasta turned around and all she saw was herself, back in the days when she worked with Hojo. These two years were the worst years of her life.

_“You know me well, my dear. It’s not healing I’m after…”_

Jocasta turned around at the sound of a voice she _loathed_ with all her might. _Hojo._

_He approached her. Jocasta had her hands pressed against the counter of the lab. She kept her back against him as she stared at her notes that she had stuck on her wall. She was sure that Hojo was picking at them from the spot he stood. She immediately turned around, standing in front of them, making sure she had his full attention._

_“Ah! So, you’re translating JENOVA’s genome into DNA and therefore you create DNA strands into hosts,” Hojo said and he laughed. His hand found his chin “Peculiar,” he approached her even closer._

_Jocasta retreated till she felt the edge of the counter, digging in her hips, letting her know that there was nowhere else she could go. Hojo’s hand reached for her face. His eyes insanely stared down at her. Jocasta’s fingers gripped on the edge of the counter, wishing she had more space to run away._

_“All that brilliance… Lucrecia had nothing on you,”_

_Jocasta grabbed his hand before it reached her face and pushed away. She poked a finger on his chest accusingly “Lucrecia was sane enough to leave!”_

_“Then why do you still tag along, huh?”_

_“You gave me no choice, ‘Professor’,” she spat hatefully._

_Hojo laughed “Indeed,” and then he grabbed her left hand. The hand that she had injected herself with her serums. “My, my, what do we have here,” he pushed her sleeve up, revealing the endless scars and bruises left from the needles “Once a scientist always a scientist, eh?” he added with a smirk as she tore her hand away from his._

_“What I do with my experiments, is none of your business!”_

_“Nuh-uh! You forget something, my dear. **I** give the orders here! This is **my** lab!” _

_And then a shout came. The shout of a child. Jocasta’s heart jumped off her chest, as her head snapped on the direction that shout had come from. It was the lab next door. She tried to rush towards it, but Hojo’s hands stopped her. She slapped his chest._

_“Let him go! Sephiroth… What are you doing to him!?!” She demanded and the only response she got was a smirk. “Hojo! What are you doing to him!?” she cried out again. Her fingers clutched on his lab coat._

_Hojo just started laughing. Jocasta let go of him when she realized he wasn’t going to give her an answer. She ran towards that lab as fast as she could. She snapped the door open and she saw…_

Jocasta shut her eyes. She didn’t want to see any more of that. She remembered that day. She remembered those screams. Screams that came from nothing but an innocent child. A little boy that had done nothing to deserve this. _This life._

“Sephiroth!” Jocasta opened her eyes and she cried out on the bright light around her, letting her know that the vision was going to change. She knew he was there, _somewhere._ “I failed you, I know… and I’m sorry!”

In a blink of an eye, the illusion changed into a dark, rainy day in Sector 4 in Midgar. The thick grey clouds covered the entire sky while dropping loads of rain on the terrain below them. Jocasta’s eyes rested on her younger self, kneeling in front of the white marble of a grave. One of the many in the cemetery.

Jocasta felt tears gathering in her eyes as she remembered that day. She remembered the rain rolling off her cheeks until she was no longer sure which were raindrops and which were tears. Her black skirt was drenched in the mud as a hand reached for the marble. _Fingers traced on the name carved on the hard stone. The name of her soon-to-become husband. The name of her beloved._

_And then Lucrecia with Gast reached her. Gast took off the black jacket of his formal attire and placed it on top of Jocasta’s shoulders. Lucrecia knelt beside her and pushed her sister in a tight hug._

Jocasta shut her eyes, blinking the tears away. That day was gone, and so was he. And so was Gast and Lucrecia Crying wasn’t going to change anything and she knew it. Sephiroth… _or maybe_ JENOVA was messing with her mind, showing her the worst moments in her life, avenging her.

Then, the illusions faded away and Jocasta found herself back on the stony path, on the Northern Crater. She turned her face, when she noticed someone’s hand wrapped around her waist. Her eyes met Vincent’s, that stared down at her in worry. Jocasta just shook her head and sighed.

“I’m alright,” 

Vincent’s eyes didn’t cease staring at her worriedly as he noticed her drenched cheeks “You’re sure?”

Jocasta gave him a weak smile and tried to answer, but she was caught by Sephiroth’s familiar voice.

“Not quite,”

She felt a strong hit on her head and Jocasta fell on the hard ground. She heard cries and gunshots before she lost all senses and everything went black.


	29. The Path to Destruction

_“My most valuable experiment… make sure she’s tied… with these…_

…’cause if she isn’t, she’ll be able to escape! And I wouldn’t want that to happen again!” Hojo’s voice came ringing back in her mind and for a second, she thought that it was just another illusion of her nightmares.

 _But no._ His voice was there even when she gained her senses. Even when she opened her eyes and felt metal around her wrists. Piercing harshly her skin. The more she tried to set her hands free, the more pressure these metallic cuffs gave her. She realized she was standing on her knees, with her feet tied together by the same kind of cuffs.

Jocasta blinked a few times to clear her sight and she realized she was in a cave. A cavern filled with green and blue Mako crystals that brought enough light to see. She turned around at the sound of _that laughter._ That laughter that had been haunting her for thirty years continuously. And then she saw _him_. The man who’d brought all that torment to her. All these endless years of a miserable life. A life that she would never be able to get rid of.

“Hojo,” she snarled. Her hands tried to move. To break the hard metal of her cuffs and slit his throat with her daggers that were still in her sleeves and her Sais that were still around her belt. She wanted to feel the heat of his blood as it’d roll down her porcelain-white skin.

Hojo looked older than she remembered. He must’ve been in his sixties _now,_ and he hadn’t aged quite well. His circular glasses were placed neatly on top of the bridge of his nose. He looked down at her with that smirk that made her want to grab her daggers and tear it off of that face of his. He was wearing a blue shirt and black pants beneath that white lab-coat he always seemed to wear.

“Awake, aren’t we? Earlier than your companion, of course,” Hojo said.

He ceased his laugher as he turned at the laptop that he had settled on a rock in the cave. He chuckled as he typed, and typed and typed. There were a bunch of Shinra’s SOLDIER cadets standing around the cave. One of them, in red armor, was talking with what looked like Shinra’s new President. The other two she recognized them well. _Scarlet and Heidegger._

 _Other companions?_ She snapped her attention beside her, trying to catch glimpse of the others, but there was no one else there except Vincent, lying unconscious on the soil beside her, with his hands and feet tied up like hers.

She crawled towards him. Her tied hands immediately reached for his, testing the beat on his wrist. She let out a breath of relief as she felt a small pulse that indicated a normal heartbeat. Then she turned her head again at Hojo’s laughing.

“Oh, how touching…” Hojo turned his attention away from the laptop and settled the glasses further up his nose. “…is that your new- No… wait a minute,” He leaned down, taking a better look on the mysterious man in the red cloak. His eyes widened for a mere second, before his lips curled up in another smirk “Vincent Valentine,” he laughed “Never thought he’d survive after what I did to him…” his hand found his chin “…or maybe he did survive because of what I did to him…Yes! That’s how you survived!” he turned at Jocasta.

Jocasta could only grit her teeth and stare hatefully at the man who had ruined so many people’s lives. She stood between Vincent and Hojo, trying to keep Vincent out of Hojo’s sight in an attempt to protect him from the _madman_.

Hojo laughed at her “Do not worry, my dear. I got what I wanted!” Hojo turned at the SOLDIER cadets that had just entered the cavern.

Each one dragged all the members of the team in the very scheme everyone was. They were all tied so that they wouldn’t move, but they still struggled against the restraints. And then Cloud showed up with the Black Materia in his hands. He climbed on the icy walls as if he was possessed.

“Cloud! No!” Tifa shouted as she tried to fight off the restraints and the SOLDIER cadet that tried to keep her in place.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Cid cried out.

“Somebody, stop him!” Yuffie shouted.

“No! He can’t be stopped!” Jocasta added. She noticed movement beside her. She turned around seeing that Vincent had finally woken up. He twisted his hands realizing that he couldn’t move and that he was restraint.

“What’s going on?” He asked, turning at Jocasta. He was hiding well his worry as his eyes fell at his restraint companions, that were all shouting Cloud’s name, trying to prevent him from doing something.

“Sephiroth… he’s… he’s here…” Jocasta stuttered.

“That’s right!” Hojo started laughing maniacally.

“What’re you laughing about?!” Rufus demanded as he drew out his rifle and pointed it at the mad scientist “You lure us up here to do your dirty work! That won’t go down unpunished, Professor!”

Hojo didn’t stop laughing though. Cloud had finally handed the Black Materia to Sephiroth. The entire cavern started shaking. Pebbles and Mako crystals fell from the roof. Hojo grabbed his laptop immediately and started running away. He vanished into the cavern. Rufus eyes the team for a moment and then he turned at the SOLDIER cadettes that were trying their best to keep them restraint.

“Uncuff them! We need to evacuate!” Rufus ordered. The SOLDIER cadets saluted their boss.

“Yes, sir!” and they immediately set off to do as they were asked.

“S- sir! What are you doing!?” Heidegger cried out.

“These people are not the real threat right now, Heidegger!”

Jocasta let out a sigh of relief as she felt the cadets taking away the cuffs from her hands and her feet. She felt Vincent’s hand grabbing hers and dragging her with him. They ran out of the cave as fast as they could. Everything crashed behind them. The team asked no further questions as they hastily boarded on Rufus’s ship that was waiting outside and it immediately started flying away.

Cloud was still in that crashing cavern, but there was nothing anybody could do to help him get out. He was _no longer himself._

Jocasta’s fingers clutched on the railing of the ship, as it started flying away as fast as its engines could. The team stared down at the giant beast that had just awakened. It looked exactly like how Ifalna had explained in one of Gast’s videos. _A Weapon._ Jocasta gritted her teeth as the beast got smaller and smaller as they flew away from it.

“Tifa!”

Jocasta turned her head. Everybody’s attention fell on Barret as he knelt beside Tifa. Yuffie knelt beside her on the next side. The young girl looked more worried than anyone else there. Jocasta immediately knelt beside her and placed a hand on her forehead. Her temperature was normal. Her fingers reached for a pulse on her wrist, which too was normal. She turned at Barret.

“Did she just faint or she hit her head somewhere?” Jocasta asked.

“I think she did hit her head on the railing,” Barret said unsurely.

“Is she gonna be alright?! Please, tell me something good, dramaqueen!!” Yuffie cried out worriedly.

Jocasta opened Tifa’s one eye with her fingers. The irises were still there, which was a good sign. “If so, then she’s gonna be alright and wake up in a few hours,” Jocasta reassured him and Barret nodded at her as he picked the young girl up.

Yuffie let out a sigh of relief and her shoulders relaxed right away “Thank Holy!”

Jocasta felt something piercing the skin of her neck. She winced and her hand reached for it. It looked like a small dart with a small ampule attached to it. She looked around her and it looked like they’d shot the entire team with one. She looked at the name carved on the plastic wrapped around the ampule.

_#257003_

Her eyes widened. She’d recognize everywhere Hojo’s chemicals that Shinra troops used to drug their enemies when needed.

“Oh, shit,”

She gritted her teeth as she felt her entire body paralyzing and she fell on her knees. She tried to turn her head and check on Vincent, but her muscles wouldn’t respond as she fell with her back on the hard metal of the platform and everything went black.


	30. Captive

Jocasta eyed the machinery around Tifa’s bed. She checked on the pulse, the bags filled nutrients that she had attached the young girl with. They provided her body with all the energy she needed to keep her alive. It had almost been a week and the team was separated in different rooms in the Shinra Base in Junon. They were restrained at all times so that nobody could escape.

She couldn’t stop the never-ending worry that gathered with a lump on her throat. She hadn’t seen Vincent those seven days. She only hoped that no one had laid a finger on him. Not just Vincent, she was worried about everyone in their team. The only reason Rufus would have his cadets letting her out of her cell was to take care of Tifa or anyone else who needed medical treatment. It looked like Jocasta was the only doctor around ever since Hojo disappeared in the Crater.

She heaved another sigh as she gazed outside the window of the room. The sky had been orange for the past seven days. Night and morning could no longer be discriminated with that giant orb, burning in the sky, getting brighter and brighter the closer it reached. It looked huge. Bigger than she’d like to admit.

She knew that when it’d reach its destination, _the Planet_ , it would instantly wipe out the human race just by the impact. She’d lost all hope in the last few days. There was no way they could reverse what happened. She couldn’t think of _any way_ they could stop it.

And then Jocasta turned at Tifa. She had been lying on the hospital bed unconscious for the entire week and it drove her insane not knowing why. She’d mumble things in her sleep. Things like Cloud’s name, her hands, her feet, her body would jerk as if she was having a nightmare.

 _Nightmares._ Jocasta sat back on her bench beside Tifa’s bed. She hadn’t slept, not even once in these seven days. Vincent wasn’t with her, and the nightmares would come crawling back to her.

_“I got what I wanted!”_

Hojo’s voice was fresh in her mind and it only made her wonder what he’d done to him. To Vincent. Hojo was up to something. Something that could be anything but good.

She sighed. There was no point for whatever he planned. The world was going to end once Meteor would reach the surface of the Planet. The crater was covered in a greenish barrier ever since. There was no doubt that Sephiroth was hiding behind. Jocasta clenched her fingers. _And Cloud?_ Nobody knew where he was. Nobody was out looking for him. She didn’t want to admit it… but he could be _dead._ He couldn’t have survived. _Not when the Weapon is around, spreading chaos._

But Rufus had sent his troops to fight it. The new President of Shinra was certainly nothing like his father.

Jocasta’s eyes snapped at the unconscious girl when she heard the machines beeping. Tifa’s eyes opened and she tried to move her hands and her feet. Her muscles didn’t respond right away. It was a normal side-effect when someone’s bed-ridden for days.

Jocasta approached her, placing a hand on Tifa’s shoulder and pushing her back down on the bed “Whoah, whoah! You need to take it easy…” Jocasta said.

Tifa relaxed back down on the soft mattress as her eyes found Jocasta. She’d been typing something on the computers around her and then she approached her detaching the needles and tubes from her wrists.

“W- what’s going on?” Tifa asked confusedly.

“You’ve been in a comatose state for seven days…” Jocasta said “…don't worry about the needles. I had to provide your body some energy somehow,”

Tifa gave her a warm smile as she watched Jocasta settling on the chair beside the hospital bed “Thanks,” she said gratefully.

Jocasta tried to return the smile, but all she could think of was how she’d failed to figure out what was wrong with her. Her eyes snapped up at Tifa, as she tried to wake up and sit by the corner of the bed. She winced at the movement of her paralyzed muscles.

“Seven days…” Tifa repeated. Her hands fisted when she recalled what had happened “…the Meteor… Cloud… Sephiroth…” terrified eyes found Jocasta’s.

She sighed. She didn’t really know how to tell somebody that the world was about to end. But Tifa was desperate for an answer. She _had_ to know. Jocasta woke up and walked towards the window. She pushed away the curtains, revealing nothing but the giant ball burning in the sky. Meteor was approaching closer each day.

Tifa’s eyes widened. She hurried over the window. Her fingers pressed against the glass as she pinned her eyes on the Meteor. “No… no, it can’t be!”

Jocasta sighed “It’s not just that,” she shook her head “The Weapons. Giant creatures created by the planet two-thousand years ago to protect it. They’ve awoken and they’re spreading chaos,”

“And Cloud!? Where is he?! Is he trapped… in all this? This mess…” Tifa asked worriedly. Her fists clenched by the sides of her hips as she gritted her teeth.

Jocasta shook her head “I’m sorry. No one knows where Cloud is-”

“No!” Tifa cut her. Her hands folded around her waist and she shook her head in denial “He’s okay. He has to be. He’s alive! You can’t tell me otherwise!”

Jocasta just pursed her lips and she stared at the young woman. The way her lips trembled and her hands shook. Her eyes shut trying to keep back the upcoming tears. Cloud was more than a friend to her, and that was pretty much obvious to everybody except themselves. Jocasta recognized that worry. She couldn’t imagine how she’d feel if Vincent was missing in the midst of all this chaos. Yet again, she knew the loss. The loneliness, the pain, the despair. She’d learned it all too well when _Tedric died so long ago._

“Tifa…” Jocasta tried to let her know that the odds of his survival were few. But such words didn’t come out when the young girl looked at her with shiny eyes and drenched eyelashes. Jocasta’s expression of despair turned into a reassuring smile as she approached her and placed a hand on Tifa’s shoulder “…Cloud’s a tough guy. He’s gonna be okay,” she said and tried to smile as much as she could.

Tifa sniffled, her fingers wiped whatever tears had rolled down her cheeks and she nodded at her. All that, before she pulled Jocasta in a tight hug and shed a few more tears on her shoulder. Jocasta wasn’t surprised, and wrapped her hands around her, caressing her back soothingly. Her fingers ran through Tifa’s long, black hair, as she felt her let out another sob before she pulled back.

Tifa nodded at her again “Thank you, Joe,” she gave her a bright smile, and finally, hope was restored on her delicate features.

Jocasta smiled back. “Nothing to thank me for, it’s the truth,” _she very much doubted that._ “Oh, and…" Her hand reached for her pocket and she took out her handkerchief handing it to her “…you must need this, right now,”

Tifa chuckled as she used the handkerchief to wipe the tears off her eyes “Thanks,”

The door of the room opened, revealing nothing but the huge man, with the gun for an arm. “Holy shit! Tifa! You’re awake!” Barret’s loud voice reached their ears as he hurried towards her and pushed her into a tight hug.

Jocasta couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched the large man’s hands, completely covering her. “Barret!” Tifa cried out as she wrapped her hands around his shoulders.

Barret pushed back. “I bet, dramaqueen ‘ere, already told you about dat shit’s been goin’ on!” he said.

Jocasta rolled her eyes at the nickname “Why did we let this become a thing?”

Barret ignored her and Tifa laughed “That’d explain the tears!”

Tifa then sighed “Yes, she did,”

“Barret, what are you doing here? How did they let you out of your cell?” Jocasta asked.

“We’re busting ourselves out! Rufus’s plannin’ to execute us! But don’t worry. We have a plan,” Barret said.

Jocasta frowned. _I guess I was wrong about that kid._

“Execute us!? What does he hope he’ll achieve by that?!” Tifa cried out.

Barret shrugged “Dunno,”

Jocasta groaned “Probably tryna put all the blame on someone,”

“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck! C’mon we gotta hur-” Barret tried to say, but he was cut when another voice came from behind.

“Just where do you think you’re going?!”

Everybody turned around, seeing Rufus and a bunch of his other Security Officers, SOLDIER cadets, all targeting their guns at the three. Jocasta rolled her eyes and raised her hands in surrender.

“So much for that idea,” She said sarcastically at Barret.

Barret and Tifa raised their hands in surrender. He shot a look at Jocasta “Shut the fuck up, Joe!” and she wasn’t quite sure if he was just trying to shut her from saying a word further, or he was just being _Barret._

“Barret! What do we do?!” Tifa whispered alarmingly.

Barret smirked “Just play it cool, guys. Play it cool,”


	31. Escape

Jocasta couldn’t see how she should be calm, when they were being taken in their very own execution, with their hands tied and a bunch of SOLDIER infantrymen watching their every move. Barret looked _alarmingly_ calm and made her only wonder if he was _high on an incredibly huge dosage of Mako,_ or something.

She could tell Tifa was thinking the same. The girl was tense. Heidegger had let them know they were going to stream live their executions on the TV, and Barret hadn’t filled them in with his _amazing_ plan of escape yet.

The SOLDIER infantrymen dragged the three over a hall that was filled with other people with cameras, more SOLDIER infantrymen, and _of course,_ Scarlet. She stood proud in her crimson dress, giving orders and shouting at the poor crew. Once her attention fell on the trio, she let out a laugh.

“The AVALANCHE sewer rats! I’m gonna enjoy watching you die!” Scarlet said as she walked towards them.

They stood in line, and Tifa was on the front. She shot Scarlet a deadly look. “Why do you even bother executing us?! Aren’t the Weapons enough to-” Tifa tried to say but Scarlet cut her, slapping her across the face with a loud smack that made both Barret and Jocasta wince by the sound of.

“Silence! You don’t get to talk without being spoken to!” Scarlet said angrily “Officer!” she cried over one of the SOLDIER infantrymen, who approached her immediately, waiting for orders “Take this filth into the gas chamber!” Scarlet said and then she started laughing again.

Jocasta cringed again. _Gas chamber…_ It didn’t sound good. But she watched while the soldiers dragged Tifa, and she tried to think of ways that she could buy her some time. When the idea finally popped in her head, she pretended she was laughing, by choking it back.

Scarlet’s eyes met her, as she turned at her and crossed her hands against her chest “I don’t get what’s funny!”

“I’m sorry, but it’s just…” Jocasta said and she pretended to choke another laugh back “…gas chamber? What kinda noob way is this to kill someone? Suffocation ain’t so bad,” she said and she noticed Barret nodding from behind approvingly. He seemed to get what she was up to, but Tifa on the other hand…

“What?!”

“Hmm…” Scarlet seemed to buy it, as she pressed a finger on her chin “…and what do you suggest, Professor?” of course, she’d know her. Everyone in Shinra probably knew that amongst their _Most Wanted_ there was also that one scientist that used to work for them.

Tifa turned around, struggling against the soldiers that held her tightly by her arms “Joe! What the hell?!”

“Well, burning alive is considered the most painful way to die…” Jocasta said, her eyes fell on Cait Sith hiding behind a few chairs. He brought up her Sais and her daggers in his hands, letting her know that he had retrieved their gear. Jocasta felt relief easing the tension beneath her chest, and she turned her attention back at Scarlet “…but my personal favorite is- NOW! Cait!”

Cait Sith threw one of her two Sais. Jocasta grabbed it immediately, and before Scarlet was able to say anything, Jocasta elbowed her hard on her forehead. Scarlet fell on the metallic floor, unconscious, and the SOLDIER infantrymen lifted their guns, surrounding the trio and aiming at them.

“Don’t move!”

“Surrender! You’re surrounded!”

And then the alarms of the building resounded all around them.

_WEAPON APPROACHING. ALL SOLDIERS RESUME YOUR POSITIONS._

Barret and Tifa laughed instantly. A weight lifted off their shoulders as they watched a few of the SOLDIER infantrymen leaving. The one dressed in red, which Jocasta assumed was their Commander, he turned at the rest “You stay here! Do not let them escape!” he said and he left with the rest of his squad.

That was enough time for Jocasta to unlock her cuffs with the sharp, pointy side of her Sai and she turned around, only to see Cait Sith had taken care of her friends’ cuffs. Jocasta lifted her fists, getting in her stance. Cait handed Barret’s gun. The gunman placed it on his missing hand and he immediately started firing at the infantrymen that were left around them.

Tifa attacked, beating them with punches and kicks. Cait Sith handed Jocasta her other Sai and her daggers. Jocasta smirked as she launched forward and attacked two infantrymen. Her hands moved swiftly, creating cuts on their shoulders and thighs, making them both, wince. She elbowed the other infantryman behind her and she side-kicked the one in front of her. She bowed just in time, avoiding a bullet that came flying her way, and it hit the other infantryman that was going to attack her.

Jocasta buried the tip of her Sai on to the one’s flesh. She felt a strong hit on her back. A cut on her shoulder came from an infantryman’s sword. Jocasta turned at the swordsman. She tangled his sword between the blades of her Sais, keeping him from being able to move. He looked at her in surprise when he tried to move his sword away from her Sais’ grasp and realized that he couldn’t. She smirked at him. _Of course,_ she’d be stronger than him.

She slipped one foot beneath him, making the infantryman lose his balance and fall on the cold metallic floor. Before he had the chance to keep moving, she kicked his head hard, letting him lie there unconscious.

Jocasta turned around when she felt movement behind her. Two more came her way. She gritted her teeth as she cut a bullet in half that came her way. She stabbed her one Sai on the gun of the soldier that had been shooting at her. She hit his gut, hard with her knee. Her other hand spun the Sai around when she felt another soldier approaching from behind. She stabbed the Sai behind, on the other soldier’s gut and he let out a yelp of pain before she drew her Sai out of his flesh and he fell down. She used the other Sai and slit the other soldier’s throat. Blood came gushing out, as he fell unceremoniously on the floor where he’d bleed to death.

When Jocasta noticed that there were not any other soldiers around them, she made sure that her friends were safe. She turned at Barret, Tifa and Cait, who were all staring at her with wide eyes in surprise. And then she realized that they hadn’t seen her fight and kill like that before. She chuckled bitterly. Her older self would’ve been so disappointed in herself _now._

But she was no longer the woman she once was. She had changed. She didn’t hesitate to take a life _now._ She was once a doctor but that was a long, long time ago. Jocasta wiped the blood off the sharp blades of her Sais, with her grey cloak, and she turned at Cait.

“Where are the others?”

“On the Highwind! Follow me!” Cait Sith answered immediately, and he turned around and started running away.

The trio followed him till they exited the room. The entire base was a chaos of people running around the corridors. Yelling at each other, bumping on each other. _Well,_ a Weapon was approaching their base. They could either fight it or let it crush them.

All that tension didn’t leave any SOLDIERs to chase the team. They reached the airport where countless ships were spread around the place and Cait led them towards one of them. The four entered the airship. It was huge and in a pretty good condition. There were countless people running all around the place. Trying to run such a big airship, of course, called for a big crew of technicians and engineers. Cait Sith led them to the bridge. Except for all the crewmembers that were standing above the controls, there was Cid in the middle of it all.

The fingers of his hands were tightly wrapped around the rudder, as a cigarette danced across his lips. Jocasta had smelled the smoke from the corridor. But when she entered the bridge all her eyes looked for, was Vincent. Her heart beat fast when her mind wandered to the worst.

“You son of a bitch!” Barret’s voice was all that came louder than all the mumbling of the crewmembers. He approached Cid and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Ya never told me you could fly a ship like that!”

“I’m a freakin’ pilot, for fuck’s sake. I can fly fuckin’ everythin’!” Cid said cockily as he puffed his cigarette and laughed.

Jocasta’s eyes finally spotted Vincent. She let out a heavy sigh of relief. It was probably a breath she was holding unbeknownst to her. He was standing by the corner of the room. His messy black hair fell on his face. His hands were crossed against his chest as his eyes rested blankly on the floor.

But his gaze snapped up when he heard Barret’s loud voice, and his eyes immediately scanned the room searching for _her._ He felt a smile threatening to form on his pale lips when he spotted her in the bridge, but he hid his face further behind that collar of his red cloak. He stood straight and approached her. She looked exhausted, just like he did. He hadn’t slept, either, the past seven days, and he was sure she’d done the same.

“Vincent!” Her hands found their way around his shoulders as she pushed him in a hug with a small effort. She had to stand on her tiptoes, to tangle both her arms around his shoulders. Vincent stiffened at first. He wasn’t sure if he should just place a hand on her shoulder and push back, or just accept the embrace with one of his own.

He found that he had _no say in this_ when his hands instinctively moved around her waist and pushed her against him. “Jocasta,”

She felt his breath tickling her ear as he spelled out her name. She pulled back. She didn’t want to hold him into that hug for too long. Any longer would trigger feelings. Feelings that she wanted to avoid as much as she could.

“How’re you doing?” She asked worriedly.

“I’m alright. You?” Vincent asked.

Jocasta just smiled up at him and nodded “All good,” she said. She noticed Vincent’s eyes resting on her hands. Jocasta looked down. Her eyes widened when she noticed the bloodstains stuck on her fingers. She hadn’t even noticed them being there. That was probably the blood of the poor SOLDIER cadets that she’d taken care of back at the Shinra Base in Junon.

And then her gaze slipped all around the bridge, trying to find Yuffie. Barret was already catching up with his buddy Red, Cid was giving orders on his crew, and Cait Sith was standing somewhere in the room, staring at his PHS. The sixteen-year-old was nowhere around.

“Where’s Yuffie?”

“Kid’s gettin’ airsick! Probably somewhere on the back, pukin’ her guts out,” Cid answered. 

Jocasta cringed “I can probably help her out with that,” she said, and then she turned at Cid “But first, how in the hell did you get to convince an entire crew owned by Shinra, to help Shinra’s ‘Most Wanted’?”

Cid laughed “Highwind’s my last name. This ship's ma baby! I built ‘er! Before those Shinra assholes snatched it away from me just like they tried to do with the Tiny Bronco! These people are ma crew!” he explained.

Jocasta nodded and she placed a hand on his shoulder “Then we’re glad to have you with us, Captain,”

“What’s our next move?” Red asked as the team gathered in one place.

Tifa let out a heavy sigh as she turned her head and stared on the floor. She wrapped her hands around her waist. “I-… I can’t go on without Cloud,” she said admittedly. There was nothing but sorrow and worry in her voice and she lifted her attention at her companions.

Jocasta nodded “She’s right. We have to find him,”

“If I recall…” Cid said, as he passed the rudder on a crewmember and he approached the team, bellow the bridge “…bastard’s been thrown somewhere in loads of Mako,”

“Maybe all that Mako washed him out somewhere,” Barret suggested.

Jocasta placed a hand on her chin. She knew of only one place rich in Mako. Where most of the natural rivers of Mako washed and ended up there. “Mideel,” she said. Everybody’s attention fell on her “The place where all the Mako hot springs are. There’s a large clinic held by old colleagues of mine. I’m not sure that Cloud’s gonna be there. But it’s the only guess I’ve got,”

“Alright then! Settin’ course for Mideel!” Cid announced on his crew.

“Aye aye, Captain!”

Tifa looked up at Jocasta with a faint glimpse of hope “D- do you think he’ll be there?” she asked worriedly.

Jocasta pursed her lips. She didn’t want to feed the young girl with hopes when there were none. “It’s our best shot,” she admitted “Probably the only one we got,” she added, restoring that expression of worry on Tifa’s face. Jocasta sighed and she approached Tifa. She placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile “Hey, if Mako has washed him off somewhere, Mideel is the only place I know of. And if he’s not there, we’ll find him,”

Tifa smiled at her and she nodded “Right,”

“Now…” Jocasta said “…how about you help me, help Yuffie, deal with the airsickness?” she turned at Cid “Do you got any medical boxes on that turkey?”

“Did you just fuckin’ call ma baby a fuckin’ turkey?!”

“Answer the goddamn question, old man, or I’mma let Yuffie puke all over the backside platform,”

Cid groaned angrily “Ask the goddamn crew and they’ll get ya what ya fuckin’ need! Get off ma back, dramaqueen!”

Jocasta tried to hold back a laugh of amusement. Cid being angry was the funniest thing she’d seen in _days._ “Thanks, old man,”

“Fuck off!” 


	32. The Highwind

Getting Yuffie to stop puking, involved a high dosage of bismuth subsalicylate to stop the _discomfort_ on the young girl’s stomach. Yuffie let out a deep sigh of relief as she relaxed back in her chair. They were in the kitchen of the Highwind. It had a middle-sized fridge standing beside the counter, where the sink rested with a few shelves above.

Jocasta placed the medications back on the shelf above her head and she turned around, seeing Tifa brewing some water for tea. Jocasta pressed her hips back against the counter, as she turned at Yuffie.

“How're you feeling, kid?” She asked, crossing her arms against her chest.

“You ROCK as a doctor, I gotta tell ya!” Yuffie said as she jumped off her chair. Sitting on a chair for more than ten minutes would be too much restraint for an energetic kid like Yuffie. She walked towards them “Thank you, dramaqueen,” she bumped Jocasta’s shoulder with her elbow and she gave her a grateful smile.

Jocasta grinned “Well you _would_ be thanking me by not calling me a _dramaqueen_ ,”

“No can do! You are one!” Yuffie turned at Tifa “Hey, Teefs, isn’t Joe a dramaqueen?!”

Tifa laughed as she took out the teabags “Maybe-”

“AHA!”

“Hey!”

“-but, it’s not nice to tease her about it,” Tifa finished.

“See? Told ya! Even old man Cid agrees,” Yuffie said completely ignoring what Tifa had just said.

“Well I’ve been through a lot, kiddo,” Jocasta grinned.

“Pfft- How old are ya?” Yuffie asked as she grabbed the mug of steaming tea that Tifa handed her, and she took a sip.

“Fifty-six I think?” Jocasta said unsurely, but before she had the chance to further calculate it, Yuffie spit out the mouthful of tea she’d sipped.

“FIFTY-SIX?!” The Wutaian cried out surprised. “You fuckin’ look twenty!”

“Language!” Tifa smacked Yuffie’s shoulder and Yuffie let out an irritated _ouch._

“Twenty-six,” Jocasta corrected her “But beware your language, kid,”

“I’m old enough to swear!” Yuffie protested.

“Not on my watch, Yuf,” Tifa said poking a finger on the young girl’s shoulder. Then she turned her attention back at Jocasta “So, how’s that possible?”

Jocasta sighed “I stopped aging when I-” and then she pursed her lips before she said anything further. “-when _Hojo_ started experimenting on me,” she sighed “Same goes for Vincent too,” she added.

“How did you and vamps already know each other? Ooh- Is he your boyfriend???” Yuffie asked winking at Jocasta who shot her a deadly look at the question. Tifa smacked her shoulder again.

“Yuffie!”

“What! I’m just curious! I ain’t asking ‘cause of the bet or anything- Whoops!” a hand found her mouth immediately and she turned terrified at Jocasta’s deadly look.

Tifa scoffed “You guys are betting?!”

“On us?!” Jocasta added.

“Look, girls, there are two ships here. One’s Tifa and Cloud, which I personally don’t think it’s gonna work out, and the other it’s dramaqueen and Vincent-” Yuffie tried to say but Jocasta cut her.

“Listen, kid, Vincent, and I are just friends. His mind’s elsewhere, so let us fuckin’ be,” Jocasta poked a finger on Yuffie’s shoulder before she turned around and stormed out of the room.

Jocasta was pretty much sure that Tifa would be scolding at the young girl back in the kitchen and she _honestly, didn’t mind._ Jocasta asked the crewmembers that walked around the corridors and they directed her to the guest rooms. She settled in hers and took a quick shower, thinking about _it._

 _Vincent and I?_ She laughed at herself. There was no way this could _ever_ work. _Yes,_ she was indeed growing feelings and she hated that she had to admit it to herself. There was no point in ignoring that fact anymore. But she doubted he’d ever feel the same. She knew how much he loved Lucrecia. She knew how he’d never allow himself to stray away from what he felt for her foster sister.

His heart was _deeply wounded_ after everything that had happened back in the day. And he would forever blame himself about all of it. Lucrecia’s _death_ , all that distraction that came from just _letting_ Hojo and Lucrecia do what they did to their son.

Jocasta felt that guilt too. It choked her like a tight chain tangled around her neck. She should have protected Sephiroth when she could. She should’ve been braver and _stood up_ and take that poor boy out of the labs when she had the chance. She had made a promise. A promise to herself _and to him_.

She remembered those cat-green eyes, bright from the tears that overflowed them as he’d stare up at her. He wouldn’t know how to form it in words, but she knew he was asking for affection. She knew he was asking for the tiniest gesture of love. And she was the only one who tried. _I tried._

**_It wasn’t enough. You’re never enough, Jocasta._ **

She bit her lip at her demon’s words and she knew whatever it was, it was right. And whatever its intentions were, she deserved it. All of it. All of that pain that came from her scars. Each one held a painful memory. And she’d keep watching these memories in her sleep. She’d keep listening to Hojo’s laughter, Vincent’s screams as Hojo would experiment on him in the lab next door.

She remembered those nights, days, or whatever they were. Locked in a lab, she wouldn’t know. But she remembered them all, each second, she spent in that madman’s hands. She’d hear screams and she didn’t know if they were Vincent’s or someone else’s. She hadn’t asked Vincent if it was him. _How could she?_ How could anybody ask that?

Jocasta stared at the mirror in her room. She stared at the scars on her torso, her arms, her neck, her abdomen. Marks of butchered and cauterized flesh that would forever remind her what she’d been through. She’d never get used to the sight of herself being like that. In the first few years, she wouldn’t dare to look at herself in the mirror. But later on, curiousness wouldn’t keep her eyes away from the mirror. And no matter how long it’s been, she’d still never get used to it.

Jocasta put on her grey sleeveless shirt, that would cover every inch of her torso. The scars in her hands weren’t as bad as the ones on her belly and her chest. She still didn’t like seeing these scars on her. It all came back to her when she did. Her damp hair fell on her shoulders. There were a few curls that had _survived_ Hojo’s experiments. All she could think _now_ was ways to _reverse_ things. Bring herself and Vincent back. _There must be some way._

Then she turned at the bed. It looked big enough for her and she could say from the scarce light that came from the window, that night had finally arrived and everybody would retreat to sleep. But then she looked at her bed and despite the exhaustion of eight days without sleep, she was still _frightened_ to reach it.

Her hands trembled at the idea of seeing nightmares again. Of hearing Hojo’s laughter and her screams in her sleep. That was something that had indeed ceased ever since she and Vincent would sleep close to each other. And she’d feel that flutter in her stomach and that warmth in her chest.

Feelings she was so familiar with, but she tried so hard to ignore. She didn’t want to let herself fall in love again. She didn’t want to experience that immense amount of feelings love brought. Love was _unbearable._ And most of all she was afraid she’d lose him. Just like she’d lost _Tedric_ so long ago. She wouldn’t be able to bear that for a second time.

Jocasta thought of sneaking into Vincent’s room and sleep peacefully away from the nightmares. But _fear_ wouldn’t let her. The fear for love outdid her fear for the nightmares. She regretfully lied down on her bed. She turned on one side and folded her feet till her thighs were near her chest. She buried one hand beneath the soft pillow as she pressed her cheek against it.

She stared at an empty spot inside her room as the voices inside her mind awakened and started whispering her stuff that she tried her best to ignore. She closed her eyes and suddenly those voices took their shape as Hojo’s, Lucrecia’s, Tedric’s, Sephiroth’s.

She knew her nightmares would be either memories or illusions. Illusions that would drive her insane and she’d lose the control of her body till her demon would get its chance to do as it pleased.

_But all that reached her senses was music. Classical Music. Tedric would listen to it a lot. He’d have discs lying all around his room in the Manor. Lots of scientists lived in the Manor along with Hojo and Gast, and Tedric was one of them. Only Jocasta and Lucrecia had their own house that they had bought in Nibelheim with all their life savings._

_Jocasta listened to the tense melodies, blending with the motifs of the complex musical piece. She followed it into her room in hers and Lucrecia’s house. They had an old gramophone and there were so many times Tedric would come by and spend the night with her. Tedric was never really fond of his ‘fellow’ scientists that lived together back in the Manor._

_Lucrecia was sleeping and Jocasta entered her room with a glass of water in her one hand. Jocasta smiled when she saw him passed out by her desk. His head rested on top of his forearm, trapping the glasses between. He was still wearing his lab coat. She did too, even though it was late in the night. They’d both forget to take it off._

_Jocasta placed the glass on the desk. The night breeze entered the room from the open window of her room. It made the curtains start their little dance within the darkness. Her small lamp on her desk was switched on, and it was the only source of light in her room._

_She placed a hand on his shoulder and she leaned in pressing a soft kiss in his messy hair. Tedric let out a hum and he slowly lifted his head off the wood of the desk. His deep brown eyes found her, and he smiled up at her sleepily._

_Her hand slipped over his cheekbone as she smiled down at him “We should sleep,”_

_Tedric’s hand found hers as he got up. He was significantly taller than her, and she felt his hand slithering around her waist, pressing her body close to his. Her hands found his chest, pressing flat against that blue buttoned shirt that he wore beneath that lab-coat of his. She could feel his gaze examining every single inch of her face that was visible in the darkness of the room. The next piece sounded like a solo piano one._

_Jocasta leaned on the touch of his hand as he cupped her cheek. His thumb slid across the soft skin there and he smiled down at her. “Not until you guess whose piece that is,”_

_Jocasta chuckled when both his hands moved around her waist and they started dancing at the slow rhythm of the piece. There wasn’t much room for a dance in there, so they wandered out from the window that led in the garden. The smooth breeze brushed against their bodies as they danced in the slow rhythm of it._

_“Sounds Russian,” Jocasta said as she felt her one hand sinking in his. She’d passed the other around his shoulders as she pressed her forehead against his cheek._

_Tedric made a hum of approval “Go on,”_

_“Hmm… Rachmaninoff is too tense… Prokofiev, no way. Shostakovich, no way either…” and when the realization hit her, she lifted her gaze to look up at him “…Scriabin!”_

_Tedric laughed “Yes! You got it!”_

_She giggled “I had a pretty good teacher,” she said before she leaned close and pressed their lips together. They kissed under the clear summer sky. The buzzing of midnight insects was covered by the soft piano that came from the gramophone. She felt her nose pressing against his as they slowly pulled back from the kiss. Eyes were still shut closed as she pressed her forehead against his and their bodies were almost locked in that dance._

And then the dream changed into a nightmare. A nightmare that reminded her why she became so _fond_ of _alcohol_ afterward. Tedric’s death in that explosion in the lab. The footage she’d found in Gast’s computer.

_“I love you… you know that, right?”_

His voice was still fresh in her mind. She did. She knew what they had between them could’ve been something _more._ They’d get married, live their life together. If things had gone different, _now_ Vincent would have had his own _happy ending,_ a life with Lucrecia like he always wanted. But things had gone _so wrong._ Jocasta opened her eyes letting the tears trickle out and wet her cheeks, the pillow. It’s been so long yet it all seemed _fresh._ The pain, the l _oss_.

Jocasta got up. It was still night outside, but she wasn’t thinking when she reached Vincent’s room and hesitantly opened his door. Vincent was lying on his own bed. His eyes were already open, letting her know that he wasn’t sleeping either. He sat up when he noticed her entering his room. He had that unreadable expression on his face. Or maybe it was the darkness of the room that hid his face. His wide eyes from the surprise. The relaxing of his muscles as he realized she was _there_ and that he’d be able to sleep because of that.

His crimson eyes reflected in the dark as they stared up at her. Jocasta sighed “Can’t sleep,”

He stared at her for a moment. She did look exhausted. Her cheeks seemed wet. Her eyes swollen. She must’ve been crying from the nightmares. He’d barely kept himself awake the past two hours. The voices were loud in his head until she had entered. He felt grateful she was there.

“Me neither,” he admitted, and he shifted his body making space beside him on the bed.

She’d noticed his sabatons resting on the floor, beside the foot of the bed. He’d taken off his cloak and that leathery shirt with the straps and buckles that he wore above another black shirt beneath.

Jocasta slipped beneath the bed covers. She rested her head on the other side of the same pillow. Her body faced his as their eyes found each other in the dark. A hand pushed his messy hair away from his face. They too were damp. He must’ve showered too. She drew her hand back settling it beneath the pillow.

“Thanks… Vincent,” she said gratefully.

Vincent felt the tip of his lips twitching into a smile that for a moment he was afraid he’d have nowhere to hide without the collar of his cloak. But he remembered everything was dark and all the light they had was whatever came from his window.

His hand, for once without the leather glove, reached for her cheek. She felt his thumb wiping away the wet traces left by the tears she’d shed before. Jocasta closed her eyes and she sighed heavily. His warm hand reached for her chin, lifting her face, making her look at him.

“Thank me… by not crying,” he said before he drew his hand away, and then he closed his eyes to sleep. 

Jocasta looked at him for a second before closing hers. Vincent hated watching _Lucrecia_ cry. Not _her. Could that mean that he…?_ And then she shook the selfish thought away. She shouldn’t feel _hope_ for something _hopeless._

_Don’t fall in love._

_Never again._


	33. Mideel

She felt her nose brushing against skin. She was almost convinced her forehead was pressing against his chin. A clawed hand was passed around her, reaching her shoulder. The metal was cold against the bare skin of her shoulder and she shivered. She felt the faint touch of light on her eyelids as she opened her eyes and allowed it into her sensitive vision.

Jocasta noticed her hands were pressed flat against that black shirt on his chest. She could feel his scars beneath the thin fabric. She was sure that his skin beneath would look like a map, _just like hers._ And she wouldn’t mind. She couldn’t care the least. They were both scarred. They were both _monsters._ But they still had a heart. And hers beat so loud _now_ , it was almost deafening.

Especially when she lifted her face and her eyes met his. He looked almost as surprised as she did. His hands were around her without him even knowing how they got there. All that she could guess, was that he’d been thinking of Lucrecia when his hands snaked around her and pulled her against him. There was no other explanation to that. His heart had been Lucrecia’s for so long. Jocasta knew he wasn’t hugging her because he wanted to hug _her. Jocasta._ It was Lucrecia in his thoughts, in his dreams, and thus it would forever be.

His hands retreated, fending away from her. But he couldn’t deny that short moment when he allowed his eyes to rest on hers. Just a short moment, it was. Nothing more.

Jocasta’s hands fended away as well. She parted her lips to speak but she didn’t know what to say. His eyes stared at her, in both surprise and confusion, letting her know that he didn’t know what to say either.

“Excuse me,” Vincent collected these words carefully as he watched her fending further away.

“No, no, no, it’s okay! It’s a short bed anyway. We have to… somehow scooch in, am I right?” She could feel the edge of the bed digging in her hips, and for a moment she didn’t care crashing on the floor. All she cared about was _stopping_ things from being impeccably awkward. And when she realized she was indeed _heading_ for the floor, she let out a yelp of surprise.

Vincent’s eyes widened in alarm. His fast reflexes kicked in, and his hands grabbed her waist immediately, stopping her from moving any further. His right hand found her lips, shushing her loud yelp “Don’t fall off the bed, alright?”

She nodded and then he pulled his hands away “Ah yes, right, of course! I… uh… thanks, Vince,” she said awkwardly, still shocked as she watched him. He got off the bed and grabbed his leathery shirt with the straps, that rested on a chair with his cloak.

Jocasta shook her head, mentally scolding at herself. _What the hell?!_ She felt the heat creeping on her cheeks and she was just glad he wasn’t looking at her _now._ She urged herself to wake up. Her bare feet touched the cold metal of the Highwind’s floor. Her fingers ran through her messy black hair, untangling a few curls. She made a mental note to ask Tifa if she had a hairbrush somewhere.

She turned and took a look at Vincent’s hair. They were an even worse mess than hers. Maybe that’s why he had that frown on his face as he blindly tried to buckle the straps of his shirt. Jocasta chuckled and she walked towards him. She smacked his hands away and she started buckling it up for him.

His eyes rested on her face. How her skillful fingers worked on the straps and the muscles of her face wrinkled in a focused expression. He couldn’t help but remember Lucrecia’s thin fingers when he’d let her work on his tie. He wouldn’t get his eyes off of her back in the day. And then he felt the sadness creeping on him when he had to remind himself that these days were gone, and she was gone. He was _gone_ too. He’d lost part of himself, and Jocasta had too. He tried to shake the thought away when her voice snapped him back to reality.

“Where did you find these clothes, anyway?” Jocasta asked curiously.

He took his time and tried to remember but he didn’t seem to have paid enough attention when he recovered these. “Uh… I don’t recall,”

Jocasta nodded as she finished with the shirt and she looked at the mess of hair that covered completely his beautiful, pale face. She smiled up at him as she pushed that thick curtain of hair and her eyes finally found his.

“You know, if you can’t handle long hair, you could cut them,” she grinned.

He shook his head “One day,” he said as he grabbed his bandana and tied it around his head, keeping the long strands of hair at bay. His attention fell on her scars all over her hands and her shoulders. He clenched his jaw as anger fueled within him. He had a pretty good idea of what Hojo had done to her but he didn’t want to picture it. 

“Oh! Uh, yes, I know, they look bad,” Jocasta cringed as she realized he had been looking at her hands. She knew he must’ve not even noticed he’d been staring at her scars and her hands wrapped around her waist in an attempt to cover the ugly traces on her skin. “I will cover these up once I reach my room-”

“No, it’s alright. You know I’m not any better, Jocasta,” Vincent cut her.

Jocasta sighed “I know,”

Vincent walked towards the door of his room. He opened it and he exited. Jocasta cringed and she prayed everyone else was asleep and that there was no Yuffie around spying on them for the sake of her _ridiculous_ bets with Cid and Barret. At least, Jocasta guessed her betting _mates_ were Cid and Barret. Thankfully, everything seemed quiet in the hall and she immediately hurried towards her room.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta entered the kitchen finding Vincent sitting by the table with a cup of steaming tea in his hands, and Cid by the counter. His hands were on the kettle, making his own tea.

“Goodmornin’, dramaqueen,” Cid said with a mischievous grin, knowing that the nickname would get on her nerves.

Jocasta let out a long sigh earning a triumphant chuckle from the man. She pressed her hips against the counter and spared him a look. She knew that whatever she’d say, there was no stopping her new companions from using that.

“Good morning, old man,” her hand reached for the shelf. She grabbed a mug “Making tea?”

“Hell yeah!” Cid cried out as he poured some tea in their mugs. He brought the cup beneath his nose and he inhaled a deep breath on the steaming liquid. He let out a sigh of satisfaction “Nothing better to start the day with, than a hot mug of some GODDAMN TEA!”

“How about some _goddamn_ coffee?” Tifa said grumpily as she entered the kitchen. A hand found her eyes, rubbing the sleep that still lingered there. She yawned as she filled the coffee machine with water and searched the shelves for coffee.

“I’ll have a cup too!” Yuffie’s voice came from behind as she entered the kitchen and settled on the other chair across Vincent’s on the table.

“Nah, you a kid, we better get you some milk,” Cid said as he placed his mug on the counter and he opened the fridge.

“Heyyyy!!! I’m sixteen!”

“Kid, lemme give your two-year-old brain some fuckin’ advice-” Cid tried to say as he drew out the milk from the fridge, but Jocasta cut him. Cid cursed a lot, and having Yuffie around wasn’t a good idea.

“Milk’s good for your bones that are still growing. When you reach our sleep-deprived-ass ages, you’ll drink all the coffee you want,” Jocasta said as she grabbed the milk from Cid’s hand and after heating it up a little bit, she poured some in a mug which she placed on the table in front of the sixteen-year-old.

Yuffie groaned “Pfft, whatever,” she frowned.

“Besides, it will prepare your stomach for the antiemetics that I’m about to give you,” Jocasta added as she reached for the other shelf that stood above Tifa, and she grabbed the tube that contained the pills.

“Top of the mornin’, y’all!” Barret’s loud voice came as he with Red entered the kitchen.

“Coffee?” Tifa asked.

“Aye! Black. No sugar,” Barret said as he sat on the third chair on the table. Cid turned at Red who sat back on his back feet on the floor.

“Uh, sorry, buddy…” Cid said as he knelt beside Red “…I’m short on dog food,” Cid scratched his temple.

Red pursed his lips “I’m gonna go hunting in Mideel once we get there,” he spared Jocasta and Vincent a look “Have you guys eaten there before?”

“No,” Vincent replied dryly as he took a sip from his tea.

Jocasta swallowed down the _surprisingly_ tasteful tea Cid had made “There are lots of wild chocobos scattered in the forest that surrounds Mideel,”

**_Yummy…_ **

Jocasta rolled her eyes “Yeah, my demon’s hungry, I’m gonna have to hunt too,” she added.

**_Good._ **

“I’m not blaming him. Wild chocobos are so… crunchy,” Red said.

“I second that,” Vincent said.

“What the fuck, you guys! There are four normal people who are trying to eat here!” Barret protested.

“Actually, I think it’s cool,” Yuffie said.

“No one fuckin’ asked you, brat,” Cid said.

“Cid!” Tifa scolded at him.

“What?!”

_“Captain! We’ve reached Mideel!”_

The announcement came from the loudspeakers. They were attached to the corners of every single room of the Highwind. Cid took a last sip from his tea, emptying his cup and placing it in the sink.

He let out a sigh “Alright! Gotta go land ma baby! You guys figure out who should go with Tifa to look for Spiky,” and with that, he exited the kitchen.

The team turned at each other. Tifa sighed “Right. Jocasta, you know where that clinic is?”

Jocasta nodded, emptying her own cup with a last sip “Yes. I’ve worked here. Even though it’s been long, I should be able to help you find the clinic. The head of the clinic is my friend,”

“Aight then! I’m comin’ with ya!” Barret said standing up.

“I’m going hunting,” Red announced.

“I’ll join you,” Vincent added.

“Once we find Cloud, I’ll have to go hunt too,” Jocasta said turning at Tifa.

Tifa nodded “Right,”

“Heyyyy!!! What about me!!?” Yuffie asked.

“You stay onboard the Highwind, brat,” Barret pointed a finger at her.

Yuffie frowned “No!! Don’t leave me here with that grumpy old man!”

“Barret!” Tifa cried out and shot her friend a deadly look. Barret sighed as Tifa turned at Yuffie and said “You can come,”

Yuffie threw a fist in the air “Yes!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Mideel was in a similar shape as she remembered it so many years ago. The largest Hospital was built within the small distant town. The Mako Hot Springs that washed out the liquified form of pure Lifestream, were the main reason for that. There were many more houses than she remembered back in the day. But the streets were the same and the Hospital stood familiar at the far end of the main road of the town.

There were dogs and kids playing around the streets. Yuffie and Tifa were walking together, arm in arm. The young girl and Tifa had pretty much bonded in the entire journey. All Jocasta caught from their little chat, was Yuffie trying to ease Tifa’s worry for Cloud.

Vincent and Red had vanished into the thick forest the moment they set foot on land. Jocasta had brought her bow and arrows with her, even though she knew she wasn’t going to use them. Her demon would shapeshift into its shape and it would take care of the rest.

She shivered at the thought of it. She hated every single time this had to happen. But it was the price to pay for the peace of her mind at least during most days. Jocasta didn’t have some kind of special Materia buried in her chest that was going to help her control it. Giving her demon an equal amount of time over her body, was the only thing that kept things _fair_ between them. It was a symbiote. More like a parasite. But she still _had_ to give it the chance to _coexist_ with her. 

Jocasta walked first, guiding them within the town. Yuffie and Tifa were behind, and Barret was even further behind. When Jocasta’s eyes caught the familiar building lying no further away, she turned at her companions, catching their attention.

“We’re here,” she announced.

Tifa, Yuffie, and Barret looked over the building. Tifa let go of Yuffie’s arm, and she started running towards the Hospital. “Tifa!” Yuffie cried out and she ran closely behind.

Jocasta and Barret hurried towards the building. Tifa was already inside asking the doctors when Jocasta entered. The doctor’s face looked quite familiar. But he was much older. Almost as old as she was, but she hadn’t changed one bit. His eyes widened as his eyes fell on Jocasta. His hand reached for his glasses, tucking them further up his nose, for a minute suspecting that he wasn’t seeing correctly.

“Jocasta?!”

“Alford!?”

He stared shocked at her for a minute or two “How… you’re… how?!”

“Long story,” Jocasta laughed as she approached him and pulled the old man into a hug.

It felt weird indeed, watching her colleagues who used to be the same age as hers thirty years ago, and _now_ she was still the same and he was a sixty-year-old man. He accepted the hug and he laughed loudly against her ear. Jocasta pulled back.

“I can’t explain everything now,” Jocasta said and he nodded in understanding “Is there a young man here? Spiky blonde-haired, well-built. Around his twenties,”

Dr. Alford sighed and nodded “Yes. The Mako Hot Springs washed him out. Townspeople found him and brought him here,”

“Where is he? Please, I need to see him!” Tifa said worriedly.

“I can get you to him…” he sighed “…but he’s not in a good condition,” he turned around and pointed down the corridor, nudging the four to follow him “…this way,”

Tifa walked first this time, with Yuffie, Barret, and Jocasta following closely behind. Jocasta sighed. If Cloud was floating in Mako for seven days straight, there was no way he could make it. She shook her head. _No._ She shouldn’t think of that. Maybe there was still a chance. Cloud was already infused with Mako, so his endurance to it should be significantly larger than a normal person’s.

The moment they entered the room, that was filled with blank beds, Tifa ran towards the one Cloud rested on. His eyes were open, slipping through random spots in the room. He was mumbling undecipherable stuff as his limbs gave small jerks. He was definitely hallucinating. He hadn’t even noticed them being there.

Tifa immediately reached to his side, grabbing his hand in hers and tangling their fingers together. Tears streamed down her cheeks at the sight of him. She turned at the Doctor “What’s wrong with him?”

Jocasta checked his eyes and his pulse and she cringed.

“Mako poisoning. But such a severe case… I’ve never seen one like this before,” Dr. Alford said with a sigh.

“Does that mean he’s high?” Yuffie asked obliviously.

“Yes, Yuffie, he’s high,” Barret said dryly.

“Cool!”

Jocasta turned, facing the two “No, he is _high_ high! Like… Seventh-Heaven- high,” she tried to explain.

“Ah shit,” Barret scratched the back of his neck.

“Anythin’ you can do, doc?” Yuffie asked, turning at the old man.

Dr. Alford sighed “I’m afraid not. This man had been bathing in Mako for days. Nay weeks. All we can do now is wait. He may not make it,”

Tifa let out a sob against Cloud’s hand and Yuffie knelt beside her, passing a hand around her shoulders. Jocasta turned at Dr. Alford and she approached him.

“Cloud’s already been infused with Mako. He was a SOLDIER. He must be able to endure higher levels of Mako than a normal individual does,” Jocasta said.

Alford placed a hand on his chin as he pondered on it for a second. He nodded “You have a point, Jocasta. But still, we’ll have to wait and see. It’s up to him, now-” he was cut when his PHS rang. He picked it up “Yes, I’m coming right away,” he ended the call and turned at the others “I got to go,”

Jocasta gave him a smile “We’ll catch up some other time, Alford,”

“Sure,” Alford said giving them a smile before he turned around and walked out of the room.

Jocasta turned around and she sighed at the sight of Tifa crying. She’d knelt beside his bed on the floor and her tears were already wetting Cloud’s hand and the white bedsheets. Jocasta knelt beside her and she passed a hand around her shoulders. Yuffie got back on her feet with a sad expression on her face as she stared down at Tifa.

Jocasta pulled her in a tight hug. Tifa clutched on her shirt as she cried on her shoulder, wetting the black fabric. Jocasta caressed the young girl’s back soothingly. She understood every bit of what she was going through. That’s why Jocasta was trying her best to be there for her.

“Tifa,” Jocasta said as she ran her hand through her black straight hair, “I told you he’s strong. Cloud’s going to be okay,”

“No, you don’t understand…” Tifa sobbed as she pulled back. Her hands wiped away the tears from her cheeks “…this is all my fault,”

“Wait, w- what do you mean?” Yuffie asked but she kept back any other questions when Jocasta shot her a look that _told her to shut her mouth._

“I need to stay with him. You guys go on without me,” Tifa continued, ignoring Yuffie’s question.

“Wait! We can’t go on without you. Cloud’s gone, and now you too?” Barret said but Tifa insisted. She lifted her gaze up at him.

“Please,” 


	34. The Next Step - A Promise

Jocasta felt exhausted as her body shapeshifted back to her own. She fell on her knees and her hand reached for the bark of a tree. Her fingers gained back their human shape. Her nails dug on the hard surface of the wood. She threw another hand on the soil as she panted. A drop of blood slipped out of the corner of her lips and she couldn’t wait to wash that _monster’s_ traces off her body once she’d get back to the Highwind.

Her hand reached for her lips, wiping that drop of blood with her sleeve and she gagged. She was never fond of whatever was left in her mouth after a _hunt._ “I hate you,” she mumbled to her demon.

**_The feeling’s mutual._ **

Well, it made sense they’d hate each other. They were both trapped into one body for an eternity and the fight for control was a constant. Her fingers fisted around the soil, grabbing a handful of it as she pressed all her weight on the other hand on the tree, and she picked herself up. She tried to ignore her trembling hands and feet as she headed back to town. That thing would drain her of life every time she’d let it come out to the surface.

But luckily, this time, her clothes didn’t have enough scratches and cuts. They weren’t ruined like the last time. “Now, that’s a first,” she said sarcastically as her hands ran through her sleeves, checking them out.

 ** _You should be grateful._** It snarled.

“I am. I’m too broke to buy new clothes right now anyway,” Jocasta admitted, and she stopped talking when her eyes found the Highwind resting by the mountainside. A bunch of crewmembers had taken a break away from the ship and they were scattered around the valley, chatting with each other.

“Hey,”

A familiar voice came from behind and she turned around seeing Red. The flame on his tail danced around with the small breeze that came their way. Jocasta smiled at him as she ran her fingers through his red mane.

“You done eating, buddy?” She asked.

Red nodded “We gotta head back to the ship. Let’s not leave the others waiting,” he said and Jocasta nodded.

“Right,”

They headed back into the Highwind and they reached the upper deck. There were lots of technicians and engineers, running checks on the engine and the control panels that were in the bridge. Cid was giving orders around with Barret filling him in with the situation. Vincent was already there, standing in the corner, silent like he always did. Cait Sith was still messing with his PHS, pressing buttons and placing it on his ears.

“Ya guys are ready?” Cid asked when he noticed Jocasta and Red finally entering the deck.

Jocasta nodded “Yeah. What’s out next move?” she asked.

“No idea,” Cid said taking out his pack of cigarettes and lighting one.

Jocasta sighed. They had no leader. They weren’t sure Cloud was even going to make it. Tifa had to stay back in Mideel with him and that giant ball of death was still in the sky reminding them how it was only a matter of time before humanity’s existence would cease.

“What can we do?” Jocasta asked, almost desperately.

Barret turned around facing her “Hol’ on a sec! You ain’t suggestin’ we give up, do you?!”

“I’m sorry, but in case you haven’t noticed, there are a bunch of monsters wreaking havoc, Cloud’s a step before death, Tifa’s a mess, and in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a giant hunch of death in the sky, approaching closer with every second, so forgive me if I sound pessimistic!” Jocasta snapped.

“That’s one pretty solid point, Joe,” Cid said, puffing out his cigarette.

“We’re all gonna die, so what?” Yuffie said entering the bridge. She placed her hands by her waist and she turned at Jocasta who shot her a deadly look.

“Lads!” Cait Sith’s voice caught everybody’s attention as he approached them and pressed a button on his PHS “Shinra’s Command is having a meeting. Y’all wanna hear this!”

_“There are two problems left to deal with. First, the destruction of Meteor, and second, we need to find a way to remove that barrier in the Northern Crater and defeat Sephiroth,”_

_“Problem one’s already being dealt with! As we agreed, we’re going to gather all the Huge Materia from the outer regions,”_

_“Huge Materia is a special type of highly condensed Materia. Compressed and formed inside our Mako Reactors. The energy contained in it, is over 330 times that of a normal Materia. We will gather up all the Huge Materia and then ram then into Meteor. There will be an enormous explosion. Meteor will be quite literally smashed to smithereens!”_

_“Ram Meteor? Do we have the technology for such kind of thing?”_

_“First things first, Mr. President!”_

_“We’ve already recovered the Huge Materia from Nibelheim. Only Corel and Fort Condor remain. I’ve already dispatched troops to Corel,”_

“Corel!?” Barret cried out angrily and Cait ended the call.

“Whoah, I can’t believe it!” Cait cried out surprised “Shinra’s actually going to save the world!”

“We need to stop them!” Barret cried out.

“W- what the hell! Why?!” Cait asked confusedly.

“Huge Materia blowing up above the atmosphere of Gaia…” Jocasta said and she pressed a finger on her chin as she took a second to think about it “…this is not only going to mess up our ecosystems, it’s going to cause mutations on us as well. And judging from the power of that Materia, it sounds worse than having 330 nuclear bombs blowing around the planet, which trust me, I may not be a Nuclear Scientist, but it’s not going to have pleasant effects on our bodies,” she explained.

“Effects?” Yuffie asked.

Jocasta turned at the girl, dead serious “You will melt. To the bone,”

“Fuck that! Barret’s right! We need to stop them!” Cid cried out.

Cait Sith groaned “Ever since Hojo disappeared, nobody’s following reason!”

“Hojo wasn’t reasonable either, trust me,” Jocasta said.

“How can we stop them?” Vincent’s low voice came from behind. His hands were crossed against his chest as he stared at the team having their chat.

Jocasta shrugged “We have no leader, but-”

“I’mma stop you right there, Joe, ‘cause before Cloud even joined the team, I was the leader of AVALANCHE. So, the only one who’s fit to lead now is-” Barret tried to say but Cid cut him.

“Me,” Cid interrupted as he finished his cigarette and walked forward.

“What?! You just joined the goddamn team!” Barret cried out.

“Listen here, dipshit, one thing I know about the Highwinds is that when times are tough, we stand up and get shit done! You can either gather your team and get off my goddamn back so that I can go spend the end of the world with Shera, or you’ll let me fuckin’ _lead_ you to save the fuckin’ world,” Cid spat, approaching Barret, looking at the large man dead in the eye.

Barret raised his hands in defeat “Alright! Shit, you’re the leader, jeez!”

“Alright! Jake, set for Corel, won’t ya,”

Cid ordered the trainee pilot who had been holding the rudder all along and he saluted at the Captain accepting the orders. Cid grabbed the microphone, that would pass on to the entire ship his announcement.

“Listen up, y’all! We’re setting a course for Corel. Those Shinra motherfuckers think blowing up the Meteor with Huge Materia is gonna save the planet. They’re dead wrong! They’ll make things worse unless we stop ‘em. Now, I don’t know what the fuck we’re gonna be dealing with once we get there, but I only know one thing…” Cid turned at his crew, “…we’re going to save the GODDAMN world, ‘cause that’s the only choice we got ‘ere, folks. The world may end one day, but it’s not today! Not on our watch!” 

The crewmembers cheered, and Jocasta felt a smile creeping on her lips as she looked at the excited crew. Yuffie threw a fist in the air cheering as well, and the ship aligned in a different direction changing its course. Cid was already proving to be a good leader and it was pretty obvious he had it in him. Jocasta looked at Vincent who had finally sat straight. He had a smile on his lips. Or actually something that looked like a smile.

Jocasta placed a hand on Cid’s shoulder drawing his attention “That was some fine pep-talk, old man,”

“Aye! We have a long journey, Joe. Ya guys ought to rest,” Cid turned at the team before he checked his watch and let out a cry of acknowledgment “…looks like it’s time for ma GODDAMN TEA!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

_“Jo?”_

_A familiar voice came from the room. It sounded more like a child’s whisper. But it was one she’d learn to recognize. The little boy would hide behind his drawers every time somebody would enter his room, afraid that it’d be someone who would drag him back in the labs. Jocasta’s eyes ran all around his room that looked more like a cell. A fluffy bed with grey sheets rested on her left side. There were a few drawers containing a few clothes. The grey walls were covered with paintings little Sephiroth had made. He’d stick them on the walls with tapes, trying to bring a little bit of color on the monotone dark grey that didn’t fit a child’s taste._

_“Yes,” Jocasta responded as she approached the drawers little Sephiroth was hiding behind._

_There were a few new marks on his hands. Bruises made by injections that contained who knows what. Hojo wouldn’t let her near him during the experiments because he knew she wasn’t going to let him do to the boy whatever he planned. He’d have infantrymen keeping an eye on her whenever he’d conduct his experiments on the boy and she hated him even more for that._

_Jocasta knelt to his level and she smiled at him. She drew her hands from her back, where she hid a box filled with the most colorful crayons she could find at the kid’s store, a pack of white, blank sheets, and a storybook. She had lots of storybooks in her new house in Midgar. But she’d buy most of them because Sephiroth liked bedtime stories, and as time went by, her bookcase had more books with fairytales than science._

_But what he liked most of all, was that milk chocolate filled with little almond pieces beneath. And she had of course, brought him a pack of that chocolate which she knew he was going to consume in the same night. She tried her best to sneak into his room a few nights per month. It was the best she could do when Hojo had his whole attention at keeping her at bay. He was keeping her away from the boy once he realized she was getting attached._

_Sephiroth’s cat-green eyes recognized her immediately and he hurried towards her, pulling her in a tight hug with his small hands around her shoulders. She felt him pressing his little chin on her shoulder and he let out a sob against her ear. She felt the fabric of her lab coat on her shoulder growing wet. Jocasta immediately placed the stuff on his bed and she carefully picked him up. She sat on the edge of the bed, settling him on her lap and she wrapped her hands around him. One hand’s fingers buried in his smooth silver hair, that were long for a child his age, and her other hand caressed his small back._

_Jocasta gritted her teeth as she felt a lump forming in her throat and tears gathering in her stinging eyes. He’d cry like that most times while his little bruised fingers would clutch on her shirt and her lab coat. He nuzzled his face in her neck as they stayed like that for a long moment. She knew that Hojo had been doing terrible things to him and watching him like that, yearning for her affection like every child has the right to, it was hard not to get attached. It was hard not to, when he’d clutch on her shirt so tightly like no other three-year-old would._

_“Jo?”_

_Jocasta snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of his familiar voice. She pressed a kiss in his silver hair “Yes, sweetie?”_

_And then he pulled back to look up at her “A- Are you my mom?”_

_She felt her heart breaking at that question. What could she say to that? She couldn’t lie, but she couldn’t say the truth either. How could she tell him that his mother was the one who condemned him with that life? The life of a test subject. If Lucrecia hadn’t been so selfish and she’d taken a second to think about the life of her own child, Sephiroth would’ve been in a better place. He would’ve grown like every normal child should._

_Her lips trembled for a moment as she parted them and tried to speak but no words came out. Her one hand reached for his face and she wiped the wet traces that his tears had left on his cheeks, while the other hand remained around his back, making sure he wouldn’t fall off her lap._

_“No…” she said and she saw the sadness falling in his eyes right away “…but, you know, a mom doesn’t necessarily have to be the one who gave birth to you…” and now his eyes looked confusedly up at her “…a mom is someone who cares about you. Someone who’s trying to give you what you need,” she explained._

_And then a smile curled over the corners of his small lips. A smile she’d never seen before. She smiled down at him and pressed a kiss on his nose making him slightly giggle._

_“Now, now, I brought your favorite…” Jocasta’s hand reached for her lab coat’s pocket and she drew out the chocolate._

_“Chocolate!”_

_After stuffing his mouth with the almond chocolate, Jocasta grabbed her handkerchief, wiping the mess he’d made around his mouth and his little fingers. Sephiroth was a silent kid but that was mostly why his mouth was stuffed. He pressed his cheek against her chest. His small fingers messed with her shirt as she finished another bedtime story._

_Jocasta closed the book and she placed it on the bedside table. She lifted her head to check on him, see if he’d slept. There had been so many nights that she would sleep with him and on the next morning sneak out of his room hoping no one had seen her. And if someone would, she was the second in R &D’s command. No one would dare speak against her. She was only forbidden to be around Sephiroth during the experiments. _

_But she didn’t mind sleeping into one position all night, no matter how her neck and her back ached in the morning. She always tried not to wake him up, so she tried her best to avoid shifting in the bed and just stay in the stance he needed her to be._

_“Jo?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Will you stay? Please?”_

_She smiled against his hair “Of course,” she tucked the bedsheets closer around their bodies as he nuzzled his face further into her chest._

_Sephiroth sighed “I wish every night could be like that…” his little hand tightened around her waist “…please, don’t leave me,”_

_A silent tear slipped down her cheek and eventually on the pillow “I won’t,”_

_“Promise?”_

_Her hands tightened protectively around him, and the words slipped out of her lips without even noticing “I promise,” and when she reminded herself that this was a promise that she couldn’t keep, another tear slipped down her cheek. She was glad he couldn’t see it._


	35. Contact

That same night, she woke up in the earliest hours of the morning, with tears of sorrow _._ It was Sephiroth’s voice into her mind that told her how she’d failed to keep that _promise_. She’d promised she’d never leave his side, but her actions broke that promise. She didn’t leave willingly, though. She never would. But Hojo’s clutches dragged her into his labs where all she ever knew was pain and helplessness. But what Sephiroth had become it was her fault. She couldn’t say she didn’t agree when his voice came into her mind.

_“You’ve broken your promise! You left me! And look what I have become…”_

It made her realize that she was no different than Lucrecia. She didn’t think of that boy as much as she should. If she wasn’t so wrapped up into protecting her work. Her discoveries. If she wasn’t so weak back in the day… Jocasta gritted her teeth as she made her way to the kitchen of the Highwind in the middle of the night.

The cold night breeze that came from the Highwind’s windows brushed her wet cheeks. She’d immensely cried again against her mattress till her body was trembling and her eyes felt empty. She didn’t care to wipe them. Not when everything was dark and everyone was asleep, and she was practically alone. Her attention was focused on these voices in her mind and one of them was Sephiroth’s repeating these words.

_“You failed me,”_

And she knew it. She knew she’d failed him. She’d failed him just like everyone else had. Everyone else that was supposed to love him, had failed him in the worst possible ways. And she was one of those people and she hated herself for that. She hadn’t told her full story on the team. That one part that involved Sephiroth. And she wasn’t sure she was going to tell them. Not when most of them were wronged by him.

She hadn’t sneaked into Vincent’s bed that night and he hadn’t come to her either. Sometimes he dreamt of Lucrecia, _apparently_ , and these were dreams he didn’t want to cease watching. Or that’s all that Jocasta guessed when she entered the dark kitchen. The lights were out and she let them that way. But they did confirm her assumptions that no one else was awake, except her.

Jocasta reached for the shelves. She grabbed a glass and proceeded to fill it with water. She turned around, pressing her hips against the counter as she drew in a deep sip and she sighed. Her eyes slipped around the small kitchen and her eyes widened when she saw Vincent sitting on one of the chairs by the table. She hadn’t even noticed he was there. The dark colors of his attire helped him blend in the dark thoroughly. He had his clawed hand around his own glass of water that rested on the table in front of him.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked. His gaze remained focused on a random spot in the kitchen, staring blankly like he always did.

“Surprise?” she asked taking a sip from her water.

“No,”

“You?”

He pursed his lips “I heard footsteps,”

Jocasta sighed as she placed her half-empty glass back in the sink. _Of course_ , he would. His room was next door, whereas the only rooms around them were Tifa’s and Cloud’s, and the rest were spread into another corridor.

“Sorry I woke you,”

“I wasn’t sleeping,”

Jocasta tried to walk out of the kitchen, but his hand found hers as she passed. His warm fingers pressed gently against her bare forearm and she looked confusedly down at him. He stood up and his hand slipped from hers and back to her cheek. He noticed the wet traces left on it by the previous tears. Jocasta knew that she should start regretting of not wiping her cheeks before, but she focused on suppressing the need to lean against the touch of his fingers on her cheek.

Even in the darkness she could see that frown on his face “I don’t like it when you cry,” the words slipped out of his lips without permission, but they did anyway and there was no taking them back now. It was the truth. He didn’t just _like it,_ he _hated it_. Almost just like he hated watching _Lucrecia_ cry. “We should be resting together. No nightmares. No crying,”

Jocasta smiled weakly “Yeah. I agree,” she said, and she wasn’t thinking when she hugged him. She wasn’t thinking when she nuzzled her face in his neck and her fingers snaked beneath that black shirt of his.

He didn’t stop her. He stiffened at first, before he let his hands slide around her waist. His fingers traced over the scars of the small of her back that were sensible beneath the thin fabric of her shirt. He wasn’t wearing his cloak, neither the leather shirt with the straps above. And she too was wearing that thin sleeveless, grey shirt.

Vincent closed his eyes as he buried his face in her shoulder, filling his nostrils with her scent. She was cold, and trembling, and he didn’t know why. He wanted to ask her but he hesitated. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to ask. Maybe he should ask her in the morning or some other time. But he wanted to _be there for her._ After all, only she understood him fully and only he knew her better than anybody in that team. And she knew it, they both knew it.

And so, they had each other to rely onto. He felt her hands clutching on his back beneath that shirt of his. He felt her cold fingers brushing over the scars that existed there. He wanted to stop her, afraid that she’d be disgusted of him. Disgusted from his scars. But she didn’t fend away. Her fingers clutched on the muscles of his shoulders and it was all that took to let him know that she _needed_ him. And he knew he _needed_ her too. He needed that unconditional affection that she always showed so openhandedly towards everyone. Even to someone like _him_.

She felt his hands tightening around her, lifting her up with no effort whatsoever. Her bare feet no longer touched the cold metallic floor and she didn’t mind. Not when her body was fully pressed against his, and their chests came together as one. Jocasta closed her eyes and she sighed on his shoulder as he carried her like that back into her room. For once, she ignored that flutter in her stomach. The tightness beneath her chest that always ringed a bell inside her mind, telling her that she shouldn’t _feel love_ for him.

But now she let herself feel all of it. She couldn’t do otherwise. Not when he placed her gently on her bed and his crimson eyes found hers. He sat beside her on the bed. He looked down at her as his one hand remained around her, and the other reached for her face. A pair of dark red pools stared down at her, focusing on her face, her eyes, her lips.

His warm thumb stroke her cheek. Vincent, too, wasn’t thinking when he leaned closer till his nose met hers and their lips were barely touching. His mind was foggy. He felt numb at that mixture of emotions, her scent, her lips, her eyes. All so mesmerizing. And when her hand reached for his own face, pulling away those messy strands of hair, he felt completely powerless. Exposed. But she didn’t seem to cower away. Chant him in disgust just like everyone else would. Because he was _a monster._ A man with a gauntlet for an arm and countless of wires attached to his vessels. With a demon inside of him that at any moment could harm anyone.

But _not_ her. The ominous whispers ceased in their minds and there was nothing left but the sound of their tense heartbeats. The feeling of his warm breath touching her lips. Her attention fell on his own lips. Her thumb gave his cheek a soft caress. Her fingers were cold. It made him shiver.

And then he kissed her, and she didn’t cower away. She kissed him back and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. It’s been so long since the last time she’d kissed someone. She’d forgotten the warmth of it.

His eyes closed instinctively. But when they did, all he saw was _her_ face. The face of the woman he _originally_ loved. _Lucrecia._ The kisses they had shared. The picnics under that tree. The feeling of her own lips on his. Her taste, her smell, returned in his senses and they outdid Jocasta’s.

And then he felt guilt. Sadness. Pain. He was kissing Jocasta _now._ Not _Lucrecia._ He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to feel something alike for Jocasta. What he had with Lucrecia was something more than a normal relationship.

At least, _he felt_ like it was something more. _Now_ he had to remind himself that _she_ was gone. He tried to focus on Jocasta _now._ He was trying to snap back to reality when his lips trapped hers and then his tongue found her lips, asking for entrance. He wasn’t going to do anything without her permission.

She smiled. _So gentle._ She parted her lips letting him in. She’d never deny that intimacy. And then the feeling crept back to her. _Love._ A feeling she’d tried so hard to ignore. Because it hurt, and it hurt vilely. But _right now,_ it brought her warmth. Fulfilling. _Completion_. She knew it was too early to think like that. Maybe it was just that treacherous feeling, _love,_ that overflowed her with emotions that she couldn’t understand and she couldn’t control. And still, she wasn’t sure if he was thinking of the same. If he would _ever_ feel the same. Maybe this was just a kiss that would mean nothing. A kiss that only worked as a distraction. _His_ distraction from _her_. She couldn’t know if when he kissed her and closed his eyes, maybe all he saw was Lucrecia. _Not her._

And that’s when love began to hurt again. It reminded her that deep within the beauty of it, there was lots of ugliness too.

Jocasta pulled back. Vincent looked down at her with terror in his eyes. Terror that came from the thought of her feeling disgusted of him. _Disgusted of his monstrous nature._

“Don’t do it,” she said and her eyes found his “Your mind… your heart’s on her. Don’t use me to get it off of her, Vincent. Not if it is only for a moment that you’ll instantly forget when it’s passed,”

Vincent fended away from her as he gritted his teeth and shut his eyes in regret. Her words hurt. They pierced his barriers and brought down his walls. The truthfulness of them felt like a dagger slicing whatever was left of the pieces of his already broken heart. He couldn’t deny something that was true. Her words let him know how well she knew him.

“I…” he tried to say something to his defense, but no words came out. He tore his eyes off of her and he tried to stand up and leave “…I apologize. I didn’t want to-” she grabbed his hand, stopping him.

“Stay,” she said. Her cold fingers tightened around his.

It sounded like a plea. She didn’t want anything more from him. She just wanted his arms around her and she would never dare to ask for anything more. She knew _anything more_ was something he couldn’t give to her. Not when his heart was another woman’s. _And it will forever be._ She reminded herself and bit her lip, tasting the bitterness of that thought.

“Stay and hold me…” she repeated when she noticed his hesitation “…please,”

Vincent pursed his lips. He knew they were both exhausted. But most of all, he knew that after that, the least he could do was _stay and hold her_ just like she had asked. Vincent nodded and lied beside her. His hands slithered around her and he pressed her against him.

Jocasta curled closer and she nuzzled her face in his neck. Her hands clutched on his shirt, making sure she’d keep him there. She closed her eyes with a sigh. Vincent pressed his chin in her hair and it took him longer to close his own. He tried so hard to wipe Lucrecia’s face off of his mind. But _he couldn’t._ He still loved her, but Jocasta had done nothing to deserve _this. Him._ And he drowned in his guilt again like he always did.

Her hand reached his hair, pushing the messy curls away from his face “Sleep, Vincent,” she said, as if she had heard his thoughts. She raised her head and looked up at him. The tip of her nose brushed against his, reminding them both how close they were. She gave him a reassuring smile that somehow eased his thoughts. “It’s alright,” she said before she met his lips with hers for a small kiss on which he responded immediately.

His hand reached for her cheek trying to keep her in place, afraid that she’d pull back. Her fingers remained in his hair, and her tongue was warm and sweet against his. He tried to hold onto it for as long as he could. Was it an apology? Was it an actual desire for her, or just a need for distraction? He’d never know, and as he expected, she pulled back quickly.

“It’s alright,” she repeated. Words that should ease his mind, but this time they didn’t. She was hurt, and he was hurting her even more by accepting that kiss so _willingly_.

But he nodded at her. Naught could ease his mind _now_ , but maybe he could ease hers. His hands tightened around her. He didn’t know why. He just wanted to keep her there. _Close._ Maybe that _affection_ was his way of _apologizing_. Jocasta buried her face in his neck again and she finally closed her eyes. Vincent closed his, burying his face in her hair and allowing sleep to take him. 


	36. Saving North Corel

Jocasta didn’t know if what happened last night was a nightmare or a dream. She didn’t even know if anything had even happened. Maybe she had imagined it all. Maybe it was her demon messing with her mind. But it didn’t feel like it. If that was the case she should wake up with screams. She should wake up with her body trembling and tears in her eyes.

But she didn’t. She was in somebody’s embrace when she did. The black shirt beneath her cheek let her know that _everything_ had happened. Vincent was there. He had actually kissed her, and the rush of emotions, that followed her realization, was unbearable. She didn’t know if she should feel _happy, sad, betrayed, hurt, excited._

Jocasta never understood feelings. Maybe she did, _once upon a time_ when she fell for Tedric. And even he, back then, was as new to this as she was. But when he died, she had shut it all out. She had _built_ a cage around her that had thick walls, enough to keep _emotions_ out.

Yet a cage like that was brought down by little Sephiroth’s cat-green eyes when they’d look up at her. Shiny, drenched eyelashes from tears. The eyes of the young boy who relied on her as much as any child would rely on their mother. But that kind of love was so much different from what she had for Tedric, from what she thought she felt _now_ for Vincent. Both kinds hurt equally. Was she ready to feel all of it again?

 _No,_ she wasn’t. She would never be. But that’s the funny thing about _love._ It doesn’t _ask_ if you want it.

She felt fingers running through her hair. _Vincent._ She had been pressing her cheek against his chest while her one hand was passed around his torso. It was strange how her body reflected how she felt. How she _needed_ him. She scoffed at herself. _Nonsense! I don’t need anyone._ And it was true. She’d made it _pretty damn well_ thirty years on her own. Without these _emotions._ But _now_ his hands were around her. His fingers tangled through her hair and she didn’t know if she should fend away and never allow any of this happen again, or accept it, and take it all.

Her body seemed to choose the latter. She wanted to move away. For once, her nightmares and her demons sounded like the _salvation_ that would help her _escape love._ Despite these thoughts, her limbs didn’t move an inch and betrayed her.

Jocasta lifted her head. She propped herself on her one elbow, her other hand remained on his chest as she looked down at him. His eyes instantly found hers. He had that unreadable expression on his face.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning, Jocasta,” he said.

They fended away from each other and got off the bed. With no further words, he exited her room and reached for his own. She sighed and shook her head. She knew that kiss meant nothing. _Nothing._ And it angered her that this fact saddened her.

**_Pathetic._ **

“I am, I know,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

After agreeing to send Yuffie, Cait Sith, and Red to Fort Condor, the rest of the team set off for Corel. Barret couldn’t really agree with counting on Yuffie to save a town, but time wasn’t by their side when Meteor approached closer each day. The only thing that eased Jocasta’s mind was that Red was with them, and _well_ , Cait Sith. Even though he was a spy, he was slowly turning out trustworthy. 

The North Corel was a small and ruined town, surrounded by abandoned mines of coal that spread beneath its soil. After dropping the ninja, Red and Cait Sith at Fort Condor, Cid landed the Highwind no further away from Mount Corel, where Shinra’s destroyed Mako Reactor rested. Barret let out a heavy sigh once they set foot in Corel. Cid, Jocasta and Vincent had no idea of Barret’s connection to that place, so, on their way to the Reactor, he explained it all to them.

How Shinra had destroyed their own reactor resulting in the town’s destruction and everybody blamed him for letting Shinra build their reactor in the first place. How his childhood friend committed suicide and he’d been raising his daughter as his own.

Jocasta was convinced that everybody in their little team had their own sad backstory. All wronged by either Shinra or Sephiroth. She wasn’t sure how in the _hell_ she was going to convince them to help her save him. Save _Sephiroth._ But deep down she knew. It wasn’t _him._ The little kid she knew back in the day, no matter his harsh childhood, would never do the things he’d done.

She hadn’t realized they had finally reached the reactor. It was nothing but a blending of metal scraps and ruins. A corpse of a reactor that once stood there. Jocasta shook her head. She couldn’t see the point in _anything_ Shinra ever did.

Before the team reached the stairs that would lead to the reactor's entrance, Cid walked forwards and turned at his companions. He threw the cigarette, stepping on it with his boot, and cleared his throat.

“Aight, listen up. The plan’s simple. We go in there, grab that Huge Materia, and get the hell outta here. Got it?”

Jocasta chuckled “What a brilliant plan, Highwind. How long did it take you to think it through?” she asked sarcastically.

“Five -fuckin- seconds. So, shut up and do as a fuckin’ say, dramaqueen,” Cid said before he turned around and started walking upstairs with the team following closely behind.

“Halt!”

A voice came from behind. They turned around seeing a bunch of Shinra SOLDIER infantrymen pointing their guns at them. Jocasta rolled her eyes as her hand sneaked over her belt, pulling away her grey cape and grabbing her Sais.

“Pull down your weapons or we will open fire!”

“Shit!” Barret cried out aiming his gun-arm at the SOLDIERs.

Cid grabbed his spear from his back. He groaned “Pretty fuckin’ please!”

Ten infantrymen surrounded them with their guns pointed at them. The team attacked. Barret’s cries, Cid’s cursing while he sliced people with his spear and Vincent’s gunshots were loud in her ears. She sliced one soldier’s thigh making him wince. She avoided another load of bullets that came flying her way.

She crashed her one Sai with the sword of the soldier that attacked her from behind. She spun her other Sai and stabbed it on his chest. She noticed another one coming from behind. She turned around slicing the exposed tissue of his hand. He cried out in pain as the gun fell from his arm and she side-kicked his head, making him fall down unconscious.

Jocasta turned around, noticing a soldier ready to shoot at Vincent. She threw her one Sai at his direction. The pointy side of the Sai stabbed at the soldier’s arm, making him drop the gun. The soldier cried out. His blood slipped out of the wound and he cried out at the sight of the Sai protruding from the other side of his hand.

Barret got in the way, firing endless bullets at one of the soldiers. Jocasta slipped below the gunfire to reach Vincent’s side. She stabbed the other Sai on the soldier’s chest while she drew out the other from his bleeding arm. Vincent had, of course, noticed that soldier behind him, but by the time he turned around to deal with him, all he saw was Jocasta drawing out her dagger from that soldier’s chest, and him falling on the ground to his death.

Vincent’s eyes widened for a moment. He knew that one day he’d have to stop being surprised when watching her _killing_ people like that. Something he’d never expect from her. And then she fell towards him with a loud gunshot coming from behind. Her hands reached for him, for support, as they let go of the Sais. They crushed on the floor. His hands reached out to grab her as he felt her fingers clutching on his sleeves for support. Jocasta let out a cry of pain, and that’s when he realized a bullet had found her back.

For a moment, all Vincent could hear was his fastening heartbeat, his heavy breathing. His hands trembled when the fear crept on him. The thought of Jocasta getting hurt was something he hadn’t pondered on before. He felt cold sweat rolling down his temple as her cry of pain pierced his ears.

His hand responded immediately. Fingers clutched on the Death Penalty as he fired at the man who had shot her and was planning to shoot her again. Jocasta gathered herself immediately when she noticed another soldier ready to fire at Vincent from behind. Her hands reached immediately for her bow and an arrow. She pulled away from Vincent and shot that arrow on that soldier’s chest.

Jocasta wasn’t worrying about that bullet wound as much as Vincent did. She could feel the pain washing away as her cells around the wounded area on her back, started regenerating. The wound closed instantly and the bullet fell on the metallic floor with a clacking sound.

She tried to pull herself away from him, but his hands held her in place. He was aware that there was no other threat around them after dealing with all of the soldiers. He just focused on making sure she was okay _now,_ and his eyes found hers, wide in terror and shock. His hands were tight around her. Tighter than he’d like to admit.

Her palms pressed flat on his chest as she looked up at him. “Are you okay?” he asked in genuine worry.

Jocasta nodded at him and she pushed away “I’m alright. A bullet does not penetrate my skin, Vincent. Same goes for yours, I guess,” she reassured him as she picked up her Sais and settled them on their cases around her belt.

Vincent let out a breath that he wasn’t sure how long he’d been holding. He could feel the relief washing over him, and his shoulders relaxed. Losing _her_. _Losing Jocasta_ sounded like the worst outcome of that whole situation. And then the fear crept back to him.

It was the same fear he’d felt when he found out Lucrecia was accepting that experiment. An experiment that would inevitably bring her _death_ afterwards. _Now,_ he felt that same fear for Jocasta. He wasn’t going to let it happen ever again. He shook his head. He was going to protect her no matter the cost. The same thing he did for Lucrecia and he lost his life literally afterwards. But he didn’t care. He would give his life for the people he cared about.

And then he paused these thoughts and asked himself. How far was he willing to go? How much was he willing to feel for her? Could he ever let go of Lucrecia? But these thoughts washed away, and he snapped out of his tortuous mind when Cid’s voice dropped in.

“Aight, guys the Huge Materia must be up there. Let’s go and finish the goddamn job. Can’t wait to get back to the Highwind and make some of that GODDAMN TEA-”

“Uh… Cid?”

“What the fuck do you want, Joe!”

“Yeah, I think we’re gonna be having a problem with the Huge Materia…” Jocasta pointed at the train that came out of the Mako Reactor, it moved on a high speed and its cars were carrying loads of Materia.

The three men turned at the direction she was pointing at. “What the fuck!” Cid cried out.

“Shall we pursue?” Vincent asked.

“Shit!” Barret added as they watched the train passing in front of them and then vanishing in the distance. “Motherfuckers! They’re takin’ off the Huge Materia on that train!” Barret added.

“Thanks for statin’ the goddamn obvious, Barret!” Cid cried out.

“Cid! What do we do?!” Jocasta snapped.

“We’re takin’ off with them, of course!” Cid said pointing at another separate car that came rolling down the other train railway.

Vincent and Jocasta jumped unnaturally high and landed on the car. The other two weren’t that fast and came running from behind trying to reach the car. Jocasta and Vincent lent their hands out for them to grab.

“Hey!” Barret cried out as he tried to catch his breath while running.

“Wait for us for fuck’s sake!” Cid cried out as he tried to reach for Vincent’s hand.

Jocasta grabbed Barret’s hand and she pulled him on the car. Barret let out an exclamation of surprise when he realized she’d almost lifted him up. He landed on the cold metal of the car and Jocasta helped him stand up. She turned, at Vincent, watching him as he pulled Cid on the car. Cid let out another series of curses before he hurried on the front where the control panels were. He stared at the levers and started pressing buttons randomly.

“You’re sure you know how to do this?!” Jocasta asked loudly as she approached Cid. The car was moving fast and the air was loud against their ears. She had to make sure they could hear each other.

Cid kicked a lever attached on the floor that wasn’t moving “Shut the fuck up, Joe! I’m tryna concentrate here!”

Vincent had a bad feeling about this as he clutched his fingers tighter around the metallic railing of the car. Barret was holding himself on the other side of the railing, looking around them. They had no idea where they were heading, but everybody knew that they were moving fast. _Too fast._

“Isn’t there a break or somethin’!?” Barret cried out.

Cid snapped “I don’t fuckin’ know!” he turned around shooting Barret a furious look.

“What?!” Barret and Jocasta cried out in unison.

“Dammit, guys! I’m a Rocket Scientist, not a goddamn train scientist!” Cid cried out as he turned back at the controls and started pressing random buttons. He looked at the two levers, that after lots of kicking, were thankfully getting unstuck and were moving.

“Fuckin’ perfect!” Barret cried out.

Jocasta watched Cid mumbling stuff to himself and pulling levers. The car stepped on something that made the entire thing move. Jocasta let out a cry of alarm as she lost her balance. Her hands reached for something. _Anything_ that would keep her from falling off the car. She felt Vincent’s clawed hand wrapping around her waist and keeping her standing. Her back crashed against his chest as he trapped her safely between his body and the railing, something she felt so grateful about.

Their car started moving even faster gaining momentum over the other train that carried the Huge Materia. Cid turned around and looked at his team.

“Alright! We’re gonna jump!” he announced.

The other three looked at the distance that spread between them and the other train. The two railways were built on top of bridges and there was a huge distance between them and the ground.

Barret gulped “Are you fuckin’ crazy!?”

“You wanna save the fuckin’ Corel, or not?!” Cid cried out.

“Don’t worry, we got you!” Jocasta shouted as she moved away from Vincent’s protective little trap and grabbed Barret’s hand. The huge man squirmed and tried to stop her and push her away, but she gained all speed she needed and threw him on the other train. Barret shouted like a little girl till he landed face down on the other train. He let out a series of curses that the violent air in their ears wouldn’t let them make out, and Jocasta and Vincent turned at Cid.

Cid’s eyes were wide in terror as he lifted his hands in an effort to stop them. “No, no, no, no! W- wait, I can’t- AAH!” two pairs of hands grabbed a hold on both his and threw him over the other train. He too shouted like a little girl and Jocasta couldn’t help laughing. She turned at Vincent and for a moment he could’ve fooled her that he was actually smiling.

Vincent turned at her and before she had the chance to reject what she knew he was up to, his hand was around her waist again. He pulled her close, her hands found his chest trying to push him away, but she said nothing when he jumped.

Jocasta tried to suppress a cry of surprise and -she wouldn’t admit- fear, as she clutched on him till they reached the other train. They landed on their knees and Jocasta pushed him away shooting him a look and standing back on her feet.

“What the hell?! I can jump on my own!” She cried out as she braced herself against the harsh wind that hit their bodies.

“Safer with me,” Vincent said simply before he turned at Barret and Cid who finally got to pull themselves up on their feet.

“We ain’t got time to chat! This train’ll reach Corel any minute!” Cid cried out and he started running towards the front of the train where the controls and the guy running it would be.

Jocasta shook her head. He was right. The other three followed him closely behind, jumping from car to car until they finally reached the front. There was one guy on the controls, and two more infantrymen around him to keep him safe. Jocasta braced her self and she grabbed an arrow from her back, she aimed at the one, shooting it at his back. The soldier let out a cry of pain before he fell off the train. Vincent shot the other, making him fall on the railway, giving Cid the time to jump off the car and into the front one where the guy piloting the train stood. He turned around and alarmingly lifted his hands in defeat.

“Give us the goddamn Huge Materia!” Cid threatened as he drew his spear from his back and pressed the pointy side of it on the man’s throat.

The man’s hand reached for his back, pulling out a gun and he tried to shoot them, but Barret’s bullets found his chest and Cid threw his carcass off the train.

“Cid! Stop this motherfuckin’ train!” Barret cried out as he noticed the faint barren valleys that surrounded his hometown coming into view in the distance.

“Shut the fuck up and lemme me find the goddamn breaks!” Cid cried out as he settled his spear in his back and he focused his attention on the levers and the controls. He still had no idea what he should do. He spotted a red lever and he turned it. Nothing happened. “Ah let’s see… we turn the levers alternately to accelerate… then it should work if we move the levers simultaneously!”

“Then fuckin’ do it!” Jocasta cried out.

“Shut the fuck up!” Cid said as he turned the levers down and nothing happened again.

“CID, I SWEAR TO FUCKIN’ GOD-” Barret shouted but he was cut when Cid turned the levers up simultaneously and the breaks finally grabbed hold of its metallic tires.

The whole train shook as it slowed down. Sparks came from the tires as the breaks forced it to slow down its fast speed. Jocasta tried her best to brace herself on the metal beneath her feet, but she fell back with a yelp. She almost fell off the car, but she was fast enough to grab the edge of the metal. She hung from the car with her one hand. Jocasta let out a groan as her other hand reached for the metal. She grabbed it and tried to pull herself up.

Hands grabbed hers and pulled her up. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw Vincent pulling her close. They clutched onto each other till the train stopped, just in time before it reached the North Corel Town. Or whatever was left of it. Jocasta let out a sigh of relief as she bumped her forehead onto Vincent’s chest and her muscles instantly relaxed. _We did it._

Barret let out another sigh of relief and Cid started laughing. He lied on the cold metal floor of the train and he threw a fist in the air. “I fuckin’ did it!”

Jocasta chuckled and she lifted her head up, only to meet Vincent’s gaze examining her face. “You’re alright?” Vincent asked.

Jocasta nodded “That was one hell of a ride,”

Barret laughed “There ain’t gettin’ off this train we’re on!” he quoted before he jumped off the car and approached his people at Corel. Cid followed Barret closely from behind and Jocasta turned at Vincent.

She cringed “Sorry for snapping at you before. You were just trying to help,” she said, and she couldn’t help but noticed that his hands were still around her, and hers were still pressed against her chest.

Vincent nodded “It’s alright… Jocasta,” he gave her the closest to a smile she’d seen on his lips lately, and she was glad for that. She really was.

They both jumped off the car and followed Barret and Cid who were talking with the townsfolk. Cid let them know that they’d let them tend their wounds and stay in the town’s inn for the night as a _thank you_ for saving the town.

Jocasta was glad. She could use the rest. _That was enough for one day._


	37. A Night's Rest

The inn was small. The walls were made of stone, and the floor was wooden, covered in carpets. The bar on the ground floor was almost empty when the team reached it. It was late in the night. Cid had contacted his technicians back in the Highwind to prepare the ship for takeoff first thing in the morning for Fort Condor.

The innkeeper, an old woman, stood behind the counter, rubbing it clean with a cloth. She greeted them with a smile, which faded when she counted them. “Oh, dear! You’re four. I have only three available rooms for tonight,” she said as she opened a drawer and drew out three keys.

The four exchanged looks for a second before Cid turned and grabbed the keys “It’s alright, ma’am, we’ll figure out who sleeps with who,”

“Thanks for your hospitality, Val,” Barret said, he seemed to recognize the old woman.

“Aw, nonsense, Barret, you and your team saved our home. It’s the least we can do,” She said, giving them a smile.

The team turned at each other and Cid stared at the three keys in his hands and sighed “Alright, since I’m the leader, and I’m the most exhausted one, I’m getting one room. Can’t fuckin’ sleep with this fucker’s snoring!” he said pointing his thumb at Barret.

“ _'_ scuse me! Have you listened to _your_ snorin’?!” Barret cried out at the Captain.

“Fuck off! I ain’t snorin’, I’m sleepin’ like freakin’ a birdie!” Cid threw back offendedly.

“Alright then! Since you’re sleepin’ like a birdie, _you_ share a bed with somebody!”

The fight went on for a few more seconds and Jocasta with Vincent were just staring at the two. Vincent was almost amused and it would show if he wasn’t hiding his face behind that collar of his cloak. And then things got heated up when Barret cocked his gun-arm and Cid’s hand reached for his spear on his back.

“Listen here, dipshit-”

“Who did you call a dipshit, jackass?!”

“Oh, you wanna throw hands!?”

“Fuck yes, I FUCKIN’ DO!”

“THEN C’MON, I’MMA FUC-”

“Whoah!!!” Jocasta cut them both. She placed a hand on Barret’s gun-arm, and the other on Cid’s spear making them both lower down their weapons and stop shouting. “How about you two get your separate rooms since you’re both snoring like a freaking Zolom-”

“HEY!”  
“HEY!”

It came in unison, but she ignored them both and continued her suggestion “…and Vincent and I share a room since he, thankfully, doesn’t snore,”

“And how the fuck could you possibly know if he snores or not?!” Cid snapped.

“Uhh…” Jocasta’s mouth dropped for a moment trying to find a proper answer that wouldn’t trigger suspicions. She mentally scolded at herself for saying something like that without even thinking it through.

“I’m not sleeping,” Vincent said to her rescue. He was so good at faking it. He stated it so indifferently, and he could’ve fooled anybody. Barret and Cid seemed to have bought it as they nodded.

“Aight! You get room no. 30,” Cid said as he handed them the key.

Jocasta grabbed the key “Okay. Goodnight, guys,” she said and Vincent nodded their way before the two turned around and walked upstairs to look for the room.

Cid’s usual angry grin turned into a mischievous one as he turned at Barret and lent his hand over at him “C’mon, 150,”

Barret groaned as his hand reached for his pocket and he drew out the gil placing them on his friend’s hand. _Another lost bet._ “I can’t believe she offered to sleep with him so easily!”

“You dumb?! Didn’t you hear what the brat said! Those two have been sleepin’ together for weeks!” Cid said as he settled the gil in his pocket.

“Well EXCUSE ME for not believin’ the freakin’ KLEPTOMANIAC!” Barret cried out to his defense.

“Believe me, buddy, Yuffie ain’t lyin’ about that stuff,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta chuckled awkwardly as they entered the room. It had one bed for a single person. There was a small bedside table and a chair nearby. The window let them know how late in the night it was. Meteor was visible from the other side of the building. And yet again the sky was covered behind thick clouds. The dinitrogen was already reacting with water in the atmosphere, and so, the smell of ammonia was already in the air, letting her know that it was going to start raining soon.

Jocasta’s hand reached for the switches on the walls and she turned on the lights. Vincent let out a wince the moment they walked into the room. Jocasta’s attention snapped back to him. His hand was clutching by the right side of the loins. She could feel her heartbeat quickening in worry. He was certainly in pain that he hadn’t showed before. But still, she let out a sigh of relief when she noticed it was just blood trickling out. Dealing with anything internal was way more difficult than dealing with something external.

She didn’t ask any questions. She passed his one hand around her shoulders and carried him towards the bed. She lied him down. Vincent winced with a low growl as his body stretched the wound. Jocasta’s fingers quickly unbuckled the straps of his leathery shirt. She pushed up the black shirt beneath revealing the bullet wound.

It looked like nothing she couldn’t handle. Jocasta reached for her bag immediately, grabbing a bottle of alcohol. “This is going to sting,” she said and all that Vincent gave her was a nod.

And it did sting. But he reminded himself that he’d felt much worse. The kind of pains that made him desperately scream. That made his body shake and squirm, and beg for help. These were the kind of pains that he was used to. A bullet wound was nothing compared to them. Even before Hojo got him back in his lab, Vincent was already used to major injuries and bullet wounds during the years he’d spent working as a Turk.

He watched her as she skillfully pulled out the bullet from his flesh and dropped it on a plate that she had settled on the bed beside him. Jocasta let out a deep breath that she had been nervously holding, and her hand reached for the serum she had in her the bag. She drew just a few of milliliters of it with the needle. That bottle was nearly empty and she tried to preserve as much as she could for much more serious circumstances.

He felt her fingers searching for blood vessels around the loins, and when she did, she injected him. The serum immediately closed up the wound and then it coursed all around his body closing whatever scratches and bruises that were made that day.

Vincent’s hand reached down for the place where his wound was. The pain retreated right away as if it had never happened, and the skin came back to its place. His eyes found the brilliant woman who had made something like that possible. She had used JENOVA’s genome for _good._ Unlike Hojo did. He only used it to cause destruction. And _apparently, so did Lucrecia,_ and Sephiroth was the perfect example of that.

“You’ll be fine,” Jocasta said as she stuffed her tools back in her bag after cleaning them up as much as she could.

She placed her bag on the chair nearby and she sat beside him on the bed. His hands pushed his shirt down, to cover the scars around that area afraid that she would see them. But she already had, and she didn’t care about them.

“Better?” she asked as her hand reached for his.

“Yes,” he nodded. His hand responded immediately, giving her warm fingers a gentle squeeze “Thank you, Jocasta,” he said gratefully. He sighed when he remembered of last night. He had tried to avoid talking about it, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest if he didn’t make things right. “I apologize about last night. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you when I… kissed you,”

Why was it so hard to say? He didn’t know. He didn’t know if it was right to even kiss her. Everything told him that it wasn’t, because the moment he’d close his eyes, all he’d see was _Lucrecia._ Jocasta would disappear. And it felt wrong to be like this. It felt so wrong, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

“Well, I kissed you back, didn’t I?” Jocasta said, almost bitterly, and her hand slipped away from his.

She got up and walked towards the window. Her forehead pressed against the cold glass and despite the exhaustion on her limbs, she couldn’t help but ponder on what _she should do about this. Us?_ Was there an _us_ in this situation? She didn’t know. She just stared blankly outside. The pavement was shining silver in the rain that poured. A loud thunder came crashing in their ears. Jocasta flinched in her position and then she reminded herself that it was _just rain._

Sephiroth was frightened of the thunder when he was little. He’d sneak in her personal little lab when it would rain in Midgar. Back in the time when the consumption of Mako wasn’t as noxious to the Planet as it was _now_. It rained back then more than it did _now_. She closed her eyes as she remembered how she’d settle the young boy in her lap, and keep him distracted from the thunder, answering his curious questions as his little fingers would point at the items on her counter.

Vincent fell silent. He still didn’t know how she had even _accepted_ a kiss from him. _A kiss from a monster._ He got up and approached her. She looked deep in thought. Her eyes were blankly staring outside. His hand found the small of her back. She let her head roll back to his shoulder when she felt his chest touching her back.

They both had no idea what was that thing that they _obviously_ had between them. Vincent wasn’t even sure that she’d want him. He was a mess both physically and mentally. He dwelled in his past. He despised his own body for all these scars that would forever be a part of him. Did she really want that? Was he _really_ able to _move on_?

The mere idea almost sounded ridiculous in his mind. He’d locked himself in a coffin for thirty years because he _couldn’t_ move on. And he still couldn’t. Not when _Lucrecia’s_ voice echoed in his mind like a ghost. And every time it did, it would remind him how much he needed her back _._ How much he needed _her_ and _himself_ back because he’d lost both.

And _now_ Jocasta was resting her head against his shoulder as if she trusted him with her life. As if she wasn’t afraid of _what_ he was. As if she wasn’t afraid of the demons and the beasts that resided inside of him, nor the terrifying scars and bruises that were a part of him.

When he parted his lips to talk, he realized his hand was around her belly, pressing her against the trunk of his body. Having her close and keeping her safe was a new kind of feeling that he gained that same morning. It came when he watched her getting shot. He’d instantly forgotten that she was like him. _An enhanced specimen_ that could endure anything. And for a moment he’d instantly thought he’d lost her and that was a thought that _terrified_ him. It brought chills down his spine the mere thought of a scratch happening on her.

“How can you…” he started, and then he didn’t know what to say, and regretted ever spelling these three words in the first place. The question he wanted to ask _sounded ridiculous._ He didn’t know how to put it into words. And then he pursed his lips and tried to avoid her gaze that met his. She turned and looked at him “How can you not be disgusted of me… when I’m like this?”

He asked and his words felt like a dagger cutting through her skin. How could he ever think of that? How could he ever assume that she’d feel disgusted of him? ‘Cause of the scars? The demons? The beasts that he could shapeshift into? She had all of these herself. She had her own demons. She had her own beasts that she could shapeshift into. She too couldn’t control any of those. She had her own scars and he didn’t seem convinced about any of these. Why else would he still assume something like that?

She grabbed his hand and pushed off his black leather glove. He was going to stop her, but then she placed his hand beneath her shirt, over that scar that Hojo had created on the right side of her abdomen. His fingers were warm as they traced across the ugly skin. Missing and protruding pieces of flesh followed around that area and she guided his hand across her torso, her belly. A tour around her scars, to remind him that he wasn’t the only _monster_ in the room. 

“I’m no better, Vincent. You know that,” She said and she gritted her teeth, trying to keep herself from hissing and wincing. They didn’t hurt. But the memories did. She remembered how she got _each one of them._

And then she winced as the memory snapped back to her. Hojo’s lancets digging in her belly, cutting tissue while her screams would resound in his laboratory. “Does it hurt?” Vincent asked as he immediately fended away, afraid that he was hurting her.

Jocasta’s eyes found the floor and she shook her head “No… the memory does though,” she admitted. Her hand was still holding his, she turned it upwards and she pushed the sleeve up with her other hand revealing the scars around his wrist. Scars of metallic cuffs that pierced his skin daily back then. She pushed her own sleeve up revealing hers. She had such scars too and his thumb brushed against hers.

Vincent laced their fingers together as she approached him and her other hand slipped over his chest, on that shirt he wore beneath the unbuckled leather shirt. She could feel the texture of his own scars spreading beneath that shirt. Her fingers traced over the spot where she’d placed that Materia on his chest. She was so glad it had worked. She was so glad Lucrecia called her that day and asked her to help her save him. And they did save him together. She was so glad that he was there with her _now._

Jocasta just hugged him again. She knew she couldn’t ask him for anything else. She just buried her face in his neck and drew in his scent. _Gun-powder._ She chuckled as her hands snaked beneath his shirt around his neck and her fingers traced over the scars on his back and his shoulders. He didn’t stop her. His hands tightened around her waist, pulling her closer.

His right hand reached for her face as he pulled back to look down at her. She felt his warm thumb stroking her cheek and the tip of his nose brushing against hers. They were so close. She could feel his breath on her lips and his eyes focusing on them. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to tangle her fingers in his pitch-black hair and pull him down to her. As close as she could. And she knew he wanted the same. He wouldn’t be holding her like that if he didn’t.

“Jocasta…” his low voice spelled out her name. Her hands slipped over his neck, afraid that he was about to pull away.

“Yes?”

“…I want you to know… it’s not my intention to hurt you,” He said hesitantly, but he did not back away. Crimson eyes found hers, filled with regret. “It never is,”

Jocasta sighed against his lips as she pressed her forehead against his cheek “I know,”

She knew how it felt _hurting_ people that she cared about. It wasn’t her intention to hurt Sephiroth either. But she did by leaving him in Hojo’s hands. She closed her eyes. It all hurt so damn much. It hurt being that close to Vincent knowing that he would never feel the same for her. Why was he giving her all that _affection?_ Why was he holding her like that if he wasn’t planning on harming her? Using her to wipe Lucrecia’s face off his mind for just a second.

But she hadn’t been close to someone for so long and she didn’t want to back away. Not when that someone was Vincent. Someone she deeply cared about. And maybe that’s why she’d asked him that day. Back when he had to leave and he no longer had to work as her bodyguard after she quit working for Shinra.

_“When will I see you again?”_

And they both knew back then that they’d never get to see each other again. _Now_ he was there and he was holding her tight, and their lips were barely touching. Vincent felt that urge to kiss her. To kiss _Jocasta,_ for being that amazing woman that had always been there for him. Even his parents had never shown that _affection_ to him. His father considered him a failure ever since he was accepted to become a Turk. Ever since he denied his ambitions of him becoming some brilliant scientist.

Even Lucrecia had turned him down. And he wouldn’t mind. He just wanted her to be happy. But he fought for her happiness even when he was heartbroken and sad and miserable. He confronted Hojo that day in the lab, and the mad scientist shot him, and it all had happened because of _her_. 

Then he kissed her. Again. He couldn’t deny that equal amount of affection that she deserved. It burned through his chest as long as he tried to suppress it. Her lips responded immediately. Wet and warm, they parted letting him in. His tongue found hers, and his thumb pressed in her cheek trying to keep her in place. Afraid that she was going to pull back.

But she didn’t. She left a small mewl in the kiss that made his blood run hot in his ears. Her hands found his hair. He felt her thin cold fingers clutching onto the roots as she pulled him closer. _Closer._ She wanted to get closer.

And that’s where he picked her up. His fingers dug in her thighs as they tangled around his waist. His one hand supported her, the other sneaked beneath her shirt. He wanted to touch her. His fingers traced over the scars on the small of her back. Countless, just like his.

He felt this closure in the way her body trembled. In the way her hands, hesitantly surrounded his face, guiding him up at her. His hands too were trembling. Every single move he made could harm her, and he would never forgive himself if that happened. She hadn’t kissed anybody like that in such a long time. He too had nearly forgotten how to hold somebody. He wasn’t sure if he should move on. He knew where this was going and all that he could think of the fear of hurting her. He knew it wasn’t impossible to harm her. He had done it before.

Vincent’s mind snapped back at the time when he couldn’t control his beasts and they found their way out and wounded her. His fingers traced over those clumsily stitched up wounds on her back. He’d wandered the entire forest that night, blaming himself for what he’d done to her. Fighting that constant fear of hurting the people around him. People he cared about.

He broke the kiss, but his hands kept on holding her up against him. “Jocasta, I…” he hesitated as he looked up at her. He was surprised by his erratic breathing. But again, he didn’t know how to put into words what he had to say. She panted against his wet lips as her hands reached for his cheeks, cupping his face “…I don’t want to hurt you,”

She shook her head “You will not hurt me,”

“You can’t know that. I can’t trust myself-”

“I do,” She cut him. His eyes found hers, almost surprised. How could she trust him like that? When he could at any moment harm her without even noticing it. For so long, he had distanced himself from everything and everybody for a reason. “I do,” she repeated, and when her hand tried to sneak beneath his shirt, he stopped her again and let her back down on her feet.

His hand caught hers by the wrist. He tried to be gentle against that scar that lingered there. _No._ He couldn’t do this. She didn’t deserve that. He shook his head “You don’t want to see me beneath that shirt,”

Despite all that trust that she had shown for him, he still couldn’t let her. Maybe he was afraid that she’d run away and that she’d never turn to look at him. And if she did, he’d never get all that affection again.

She smiled up at him and she cupped his face “It’s okay. We won’t do anything you don’t want,”

And she didn’t mind. She was going to wait for him to resolve the things that troubled him, and she was going to try and help him. She was going to wait even if it took forever. Wait like an _idiot_ ‘cause that’s what love does to people. She still knew that he’d never change his mind. And she didn’t mind about that either. _Love_ fed her with fake hopes that maybe one day he would be able to find the strength to move on. _With her._ She couldn’t _not_ feel hopeful when he kissed her like that.

Vincent gave her the closest thing to a smile that he could manage, despite the bitterness that spread in his chest. He wanted to _take her_ but if it meant that he’d lose her forever, he chose not to. All because of _what_ he was. All because of all these insecurities that he couldn’t control.

Her hand found his, drawing his attention away from all these endless, bitter thoughts. “C’mon. We need to rest,” she said as she walked towards the bed drawing him with her.

He had to stop thinking for _now._ She was right. They had to rest because a busy day was awaiting them. He watched her as she lied down and made space beside her on the small bed. They would barely fit, but they could _scooch in,_ close to each other. That was no longer a problem.

He passed a hand around her and she nuzzled her face in his neck. Vincent buried his face in her hair while his hands brought her closer. Her taste was still on his lips and her scent lingered in his nostrils. Her mere presence soothed him.

Maybe he would be able to move on one day. _With her._

_One day._


	38. Back to Mideel

Jocasta’s eyes snapped open at the sound of somebody banging on their door loudly. She frowned as she recognized the voice immediately. _Cid._

“You two lovebirds done smoochin’?! Get the fuck up! We gotta get a move on, dammit!” And then his footsteps echoed down the hall outside as he walked away.

Jocasta rolled her eyes, and then she turned her attention back at Vincent. They’d slept in the very same position all night, letting her know that they were indeed exhausted. But _now_ she felt fresh and almost full of sleep. She had slept so much those few days she was with Vincent. So much she hadn’t slept the entire thirty years she’d spent on her own.

She smiled when she realized he was still sleeping. His pale face was so peaceful. Soft, barely audible, little snores escaped his nose. Her hand reached for his face and she pressed a soft kiss on his lips in an attempt to wake him up. His eyes opened and he looked at her. He almost smiled when his right hand reached for her cheek.

“Good morning,” She said softly.

“Good morning, Jocasta,” he said back but his attention fell back on the door, as another series of bangs came.

“Seriously, guys! Highwind’s waitin’!” _Now_ that was Barret’s voice.

“Uhh…” Vincent parted his lips to speak but Jocasta broke in.

“We’re coming!”

She pulled away and stood up. He stood up as well and set off to tie that bandana around his head and buckle up that leather shirt. He settled Cerberus and Death Penalty over their cases around his belt. He turned around and watched her while she settled her own daggers beneath her sleeves, and her Sais in cases around her own waist.

He hadn’t asked her how she’d learned using these. He didn’t even know how she knew how to fight in the first place. But he guessed, thirty years were enough to learn fighting, even for a woman that was once a scientist and wasn’t familiar to combat at all. It was still surprising that she was good at it.

Vincent shook his head, shaking the thought away, realizing that he’d drifted off. A habit of his that occurred quite frequently. His hand reached for his cloak on the chair he’d left it last night, but Jocasta was already behind him. She lifted herself on her tiptoes so that she could reach him and pass the collar of his cloak around his neck. He turned around to face her and he watched her as she buckled the straps of his cloak over his chest. She had that focused expression on her delicate face as her fingers skillfully finished and she looked up at him. Grey eyes met his.

“We should get going,” She said.

Vincent nodded and she grabbed her bag. He followed her out of the room where Barret and Cid were waiting impatiently.

“AH! Fuckin’ finally!” Barret cried out.

“You guys, found SOME HOUR to make out!” Cid cried out.

“We _weren’t_ making out,” Jocasta said, trying to keep the expression on her face ice-cold.

“Oh really-?!”

Vincent cut Cid “Have you contacted Yuffie?” he asked snapping them out of the awkward subject.

“Yeah! The kid made it! We’ll be pickin’ them up on our way to Mideel,” Cid said as he turned around and he followed Barret down the hall “Let’s go!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Yuffie, Cait Sith and Red had indeed made it, much to everybody’s surprise. They picked the three from Fort Condor and Cid set course for Mideel. Jocasta was going to ask Alford if he could lend her the Hospital’s Microbiological Lab. She wanted to create a bit more of that serum of hers because she had a feeling, she was going to need it.

They were going to find a way to stop Meteor from wiping out humanity. Shinra must have been on high alert at all times. They had messed so much with their plans, they must have been out of Huge Materia, since the only one they had retrieved was from Nibelheim. Jocasta tried to calculate it. One Huge Materia wasn’t going to cause much harm.

Jocasta sighed as her hand reached for her forehead and rubbed gently. She was tired. Alford hadn’t refused to lend her the lab. He trusted her considering they had worked together for a couple of years. Cloud was still as bad as expected and Tifa was a mess. Jocasta had tried to convince her to take a break, but she would repeatedly turn her request down.

Cid had settled the Highwind nearby the town and the team had scattered in the shops to buy stuff they needed to get on with the journey. The Highwind’s staff had set off to buy supplies, and thus, another day passed.

Jocasta didn’t really know how they were supposed to stop Meteor. Not when Cloud was like that and Cid hadn’t even the slightest idea on how to do anything about it. Sephiroth was still behind that barrier that stood around the crater.

Jocasta groaned as she buried her face further into her hands. Her elbows pressed on the counter of the Hospital’s lab. She had just finished her serum. She wasn’t directly using JENOVA cells because she knew that JENOVA cells contained the entire genome and part of it was driving people insane. She was only using a sequence that she had memorized and she was constructing it herself. It was the one that caused self-healing. She had no access to JENOVA cells _anyway_. 

And all that thought on JENOVA led her mind to Sephiroth. Jocasta groaned against her hands. How was she supposed to _harm_ him? How was she supposed to let the others harm him? She couldn’t. Because all she saw in him was that good-hearted little boy that she had met. She could reverse things. She knew she could. If only she had access on JENOVA cells, she could use them to build _antibodies._ Antibodies that would destroy them. And if she injected Sephiroth with them, the JENOVA cells inside of him would cease and he would be brought back.

She didn’t know why she needed to save him so much. Or maybe she did. She wanted to give him the life that he deserved. Because being treated as a test subject ever since he was little, wasn’t the kind of life that _anybody_ deserves. _No._ Even if he’d burned down an entire village, and slaughtered, and killed and avenged. He still deserved better because _that’s what you get when you treat somebody like that._

He didn’t know what he was doing. He wasn’t himself when he did any of these. _He couldn’t have been._ He’d killed Aerith because the Cetra were the only ones that ever gotten to beat JENOVA when it reached the Planet, and Aerith was the last Cetra. The last threat. Why would Sephiroth kill Aerith if that alien wasn’t controlling him? He didn’t have anything personal against her. They hadn’t even met. They hadn’t even exchanged a word.

Jocasta sighed as she lifted her head off her hands and she looked at the bottle that was filled with the greenish liquid that she had just finished making. She put it into her bag. She had filled her bag with new sterilized tools that she was sure they would come useful later on. She was the _doctor_ of the team, after all.

She got up and she exited the lab. The halls were dark. It had gotten late into the night and only a few people were still around in the big Hospital. Jocasta walked towards Cloud’s room. She got in. Cloud was in deep slumber, almost comatose as he mumbled stuff in his sleep and his body would jerk ever so slightly. Tifa was sleeping on his hand, knelt beside him on the bed.

Jocasta sighed. She knew that feeling. _Helplessness._ The feeling of staring at a loved one suffering and being unable to do anything to help. She had felt that feeling countless of times and she just kept feeling it. Her serum couldn’t do anything when it came to Mako Poisoning, or when it came to fixing scars. It could only heal internal and external wounds and that would be all. And even then, it will have to be administered to the patient _fast._

She sighed as she put down her bag and she walked towards Tifa, who had passed out by the edge of the bed, exhausted. Jocasta picked her limp body on her shoulder and placed her gently on the couch nearby. Sleeping knelt all night wasn’t doing any good on her muscles and her bones.

Jocasta pushed a blanket on top of Tifa’s body, before she let out a sigh and she walked out of the room and eventually out of the Hospital. It was late in the night and the town was silent. The sky was dark, with countless stars staring down at her and the moon hid somewhere over the mountainside along with Meteor.

She walked down the empty street, making her way back to the Highwind that rested no further away. She felt the cold breeze brushing against the skin of her cheeks and she sighed. She took a moment to think of Vincent. She still didn’t know what it was that _thing_ that they had between them. She had no idea. But she knew she had feelings for him. The way her stomach fluttered when he kissed her that night. That was a feeling she’d felt only once before. Before she fell for Tedric for her first time.

But unlike Vincent, Jocasta was feeling like she was actually ready to move on. Let go of Tedric, and actually _grasp_ a new life. And then she felt scared again. What if she embraced that new life and then she lost it all, all over again? She wouldn’t be able to bear that if it ever happened. If Vincent was ever going to feel the same for her. She wasn’t even sure _that could_ happen. He wasn’t ready to move on and she wasn’t going to ask him to. She was going to give him the time he needed. _Even if that meant forever._

And then she felt like scolding at herself. How could she act like that for somebody? So willingly to lay her whole life on somebody’s hands. She hadn’t done that again. Not after Tedric died. She’d learned to rely on herself and her job and she’d be content, because _she_ _had to be content_. She had other lives on her hands when she’d ran surgeries. When Sephiroth’s little cat-green eyes would stare at her as every child would stare at their mother.

 _Now_ she knew why she _needed_ to save him. She had to make it up to him because she had let him down. She had given him a fake promise and Sephiroth would have every right to be mad at her even after she gets to bring him back. _If I bring him back._ She reminded herself.

Jocasta heard footsteps and she lifted her gaze off the soil beneath her feet and back at the man. She smiled. “Vincent,”

He hid his face further behind his collar “I was coming to get you,”

She chuckled. He was starting to act overprotective and she didn’t mind. It made sense that he’d try to _protect her._ She would try to _protect_ him too if she didn’t know that he didn’t need her protection. Her stubborn self hated to admit that she needed his, though.

“Thanks,” she said as she approached him and they started walking towards the Highwind together.

“Jocasta…” his voice interrupted her loud thoughts after a long moment of walking “…had you met him. Before… all this?”

She gritted her teeth for a second when she realized what he was talking about “Sephiroth?”

He nodded.

She sighed “Yes.”

It was the only answer she was going to give _for now_. Not saying anything further let him know that she didn’t want to talk about it and so, he didn’t press the point any more. 

“We need to rest,” Jocasta said when she noticed the familiar figure of the Highwind spreading in front of them. He nodded.

And so, they did. Just like every other night, together they lied down. The nightmares seemed like they had been casted far, far away because they were together. And the voices in their minds, the screams, the illusions, the nightmares, they all ceased because they had each other. And maybe that’s what made them clutch onto each other even more. 


	39. Helping

The next day, Cid, Barret, Yuffie, Cait Sith, Red, Vincent, and Jocasta set off to check on Tifa and Cloud back in the Hospital. The town was busy, the sky was clear, and Meteor was just a few days away. Jocasta let out a heavy sigh as she stared at the burning ball in the sky before she set off to follow her friends in the streets of Mideel.

She needed to get her hands on JENOVA cells. If only she had one. A single cell would be enough. She just wanted the genome and that would be all it took to produce antibodies. She wanted to have them ready when they’d face Sephiroth. She glanced over at Cid and Barret who were chatting with each other. Yuffie was asking Vincent how his guns worked and he replied as best as he could, and Red was chatting with Cait who had settled on his back.

Jocasta sighed. How was she supposed to convince them, that she wanted to _save_ Sephiroth? How was she supposed to explain? Jocasta was never good at convincing somebody to do anything. She would never engage in conversations that involved tricking somebody’s opinion to match her own.

She snapped out of her thoughts, when she realized, Yuffie was done messing with Vincent, and _now_ it was her turn.

“Did you know that we use Sais in Wutai too?” The young ninja pointed at her Sais around her waist.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow. _You wanna get on my nerves, I’ll get on yours_ “Wutai? Isn’t that a tourist attraction of Shinra’s?”

“Hey!! Do not refer to my home like that! We were once a magnificent empire!” Yuffie yelled out offendedly and then she sighed “Until my father quit like a coward,”

“Hey, kid. It wasn’t your father’s fault. The Wutai War was the main reason Shinra started the SOLDIER program. A couple of genetically modified and Mako unfused humans, born and bred for war. Your ninjas wouldn’t be able to stand for too long,” Jocasta said as she paused walking for a second and turned at the sixteen-year-old.

Yuffie sighed “I know. That’s why I joined this team. I want to make things right,” she admitted.

Jocasta placed a hand on her shoulder “You will. You’re the future Queen of Wutai. You owe it to your people,”

Yuffie sighed again. Jocasta said nothing but the truth, and she could already feel the weight of her people’s hopes on her back. Too much for a child her age. Her eyes found the soil and she wrapped her hands around her chest.

“Hey,” Jocasta’s voice snapped her attention back at her “We’re a team. We’ll help you,”

“That’s damn right, kid,” Cid’s voice came from behind and he approached them “We all wanna rebuild our homes, in the end,”

“We’re here,” Red’s voice came and everybody turned their attention at the huge building that spread in front of them. The team entered the Hospital and made their way towards Cloud’s room.

Jocasta stayed behind though, and she looked for Dr. Alford’s office since he was the head of the clinic. She was going to ask if he had any JENOVA cells, even though she highly doubted it. Shinra wasn’t _sharing_ their specimens unless that town was under Shinra’s command, which, it wasn’t.

“Where are you going?” Vincent’s voice stopped her halfway to the different direction of the corridor.

Jocasta turned around and she gritted her teeth. She couldn’t explain. How could she? But she knew, Vincent wasn’t against _saving_ Sephiroth. For all she knew, he’d even support it, because Sephiroth was Lucrecia’s son. He was all he had left of her.

“There’s something I need to do,” that was her only reply before she turned around and hurried towards her old friend’s office.

Vincent made a step in an attempt to approach her but she had already vanished in that maze of halls of that Hospital. He sighed before he turned around and joined the others. She’d never explain much about what she was doing and it was kind of _annoying._ It happened with Lucrecia too. She would study the Cetra Scriptures, she would disappear in her lab all of a sudden and she would come out like nothing had happened. The same thing would happen with his father. He was never around either. Vincent let out a sigh. _Scientists._ He would never regret choosing to become a Turk instead of a mad scientist that would mess the world.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“I’m sorry, Jocasta. When Gast’s team left, so did Shinra. The Turks erased all data on the JENOVA Project,” Alford said as he took off his glasses and placed them on the desk in front of him, beside that pile of papers that he needed to sign.

Jocasta sighed. “Of course,” she mumbled to herself, but then her eyes widened when the realization hit her. _Gast._ Gast’s computer had JENOVA’s genome stored and translated into DNA by Gast himself. She clicked her fingers “I know where to find it,” she said as she ran hastily towards the door to exit the office. But she stopped herself and turned and looked at her old friend “You’ll let me use the Hospital’s equipment, right?”

Alford sighed as he got up. He walked around his desk, pressing his body at the edge of its hard wood “What do you want to do with JENOVA’s genome exactly?”

“I wanna… I wanna save somebody,” Jocasta said.

“Jocasta, you know it is risky to have you messing with it in my labs,” Alford said warningly.

“I know. But I’m not _directly_ using it, I’m just using the sequences,”

“Genetical data?”

“Yes,”

Alford turned around and grabbed something that he had plugged in his own computer “Then you’ll need this,” he threw something small at her.

Jocasta’s fast reflexes kicked in and she grabbed it. She brought it in her hand to take a look at it and she chuckled “Thanks, Alford. I owe you,”

“You do!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“You wanna what now?!” Cid cried out as he shot her a look.

Cloud was still not making any progress, Tifa was sitting on a chair beside the hospital bed, and the rest of the team was around the room with their attention falling on her.

“Icicle Village. Now,” Jocasta repeated.

“And why in the hell would I wanna be draggin’ you and ma baby to the freakin’ Icicle Village again?!” Cid asked.

“Yeah, the hell’s wrong with you, Joe!?” Barret asked.

Jocasta sighed “There’s something I need to… retrieve,”

“Like what?” Yuffie asked raising an eyebrow.

“Data,” Jocasta was trying her hardest not to say anything more, but she feared that she would probably have to.

“For what, lassie?” Cait asked.

“For…” She sighed “…for Sephiroth,”

“On how to defeat him?” Cid asked.

“No. On how to defeat JENOVA,” Jocasta corrected him.

“Haven’t we done that already?” Tifa asked confusedly.

“No! It’s inside of him! That alien’s been controlling his body ever since they infused him with its cells!” Jocasta finally burst out and Barret let out a groan of irritation.

“Not this again, Joe!”

“Please! I can save him! I know I can. If I could just get my hands on that data that Gast had stored in his computer, I could create-”

Tifa cut her, as she got off the chair and she approached her “Why do you even want to save him!? After everything he’s-”

“Because I raised him!” Jocasta finally snapped and everybody stopped talking.

She could feel their piercing looks falling on her with nothing but confusion written on their faces. Jocasta groaned as she ran a hand over her aching forehead and she turned at her friends. She knew that she had to tell them. She couldn’t harm Sephiroth, in any way. But then, even Vincent looked at her with eyes wide in surprise, and then everything started to make sense. 

“You’ve no idea what he’s been through to turn out like this. I was there when they experimented on him. When he screamed. A three-year-old in pain and I tried to help him. I promised I would. I tried to break him out of there. But Hojo found out and he stopped me. He took him away from me and locked me in his labs and did what he did to me and Sephiroth was left alone with nobody to protect him from Hojo. It’s my fault he’s like this. I failed to save him but please help me this time. I failed to save Aerith and her mom, and I failed twice. I can’t repeat the same mistake with Sephiroth,”

The words slipped fast and desperate. And then she looked at her friends’ considerate expressions as they stayed silent to ponder on it for a moment, and she tried to ignore that sting in her eyes that let her know they were about to drop tears. But, _no_ , she blinked them away. She didn’t want to cry. She felt a feeling she hadn’t felt in a while. _Hope._ They were _actually_ considering to help her.

“I’m in no place ta say but… I’m with ye, lassie,” Cait Sith said as he hopped on her shoulder.

Barret groaned “Fine! But only ‘cause I know how it is to be a parent. Don’t fuck this up, Joe,” Barret said as he pointed a finger at her and Jocasta nodded determinedly. She _wasn’t_ going to fail this time.

Jocasta let out a breath of relief and her shoulders instantly relaxed when Cid turned around and looked at her “Aight! How do you plan on savin’ that son of a bitch?”

Vincent opened his mouth to talk against that remark, but Jocasta spoke first “The data I’m going to retrieve, they’re JENOVA’s genome. I assure you; I’m only going to use it so that I can build _antibodies_ that are going to destroy all the JENOVA cells that he’s got inside of him,” she explained.

“And you’re sure that’s gonna work?” Cid asked.

“Yes! And it could work for anyone. Whoever’s been infused with JENOVA cells. Cloud, Red,” Jocasta answered.

The team exchanged a few more glances. Tifa nodded “Alright. You guys go,” she said and she turned glancing back at Cloud’s unconscious state “I’m gonna stay with him,” she said.

“I’m stayin’ with ya, Teefs! I know it’s gonna be boring. But hell, somebody’s gotta stay. Not to mention I hate the cold up there,” Yuffie said and Tifa gave her a weak smile.

“I’m stayin’ too. Somebody’s gotta look after the brat…” Barret said.

“Hey!!!” Yuffie cried out but Barret completed what he had to say, ignoring her.

“…besides, you guys don’t need the entire team to retrieve some data or somethin’,” he finished, and the others nodded.

Cid’s hand reached for his pocket, grabbing his PHS and he pressed a couple of buttons before bringing it to his ear. His Trainee Pilot picked it from the other side of the line.

“Jake! Prepare ma baby for takeoff. We’re goin’ to Icicle Village,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

By the time the Highwind started taking them to Icicle Village, night had arrived and Cid, Vincent, Red, and Jocasta had set off to rest. They should be reaching it in a few hours. Cid had left his Trainee Pilots to hold the rudder in shifts till they would reach their destination.

Jocasta was deep in thought as she tried to think of _how_ she was going to use the Hospital’s advanced equipment to construct the antibodies. She hadn’t done this for a long time, and she was sure that thirty years was enough time for the machines to evolve and work differently. She knew they had to act quickly and figure out Shinra’s next idiotic step. Because _they sure had one._

“You hadn’t told me,” A familiar voice came from behind her as she felt the familiar clacking sound of her room’s metallic door closing.

Jocasta realized she had been staring outside her room’s window, where there was nothing but the night’s darkness lit by the faint light of Meteor. She turned around seeing Vincent, hidden beneath that cloak and those messy strands of hair that fell on his face. Jocasta sighed.

“I’m sorry. It was hard to talk about it,” Jocasta said as she turned her attention back at her window.

“I thought you were trying to save the Cetras when Hojo… captured you,” Vincent said.

Jocasta shook her head “That happened before. Hojo didn’t put me in his labs right away. Though, after that failed, he had put SOLDIERs keeping an eye on me at all times. And when I tried to take Sephiroth…” she shuddered when she recalled the memory.

Countless of SOLDIERs surrounding her and the little boy, pointing their guns and their swords at them. The tense spotlights of the helicopter falling at them from above, while Sephiroth would squirm behind her and cry, and sob against her leg. And then it was that laughter. _Hojo._

None would have happened if Lucrecia hadn’t given in when Hojo asked her to do that experiment. An experiment onto her _own_ child. How could she be so careless? Hojo had torn the child out of her and never given him to her. Not even to hold him. That man was the _real monster,_ and Lucrecia hadn’t even taken a moment to consider that before she _married_ him. Jocasta, honestly, still, after thirty years, she still couldn’t understand why Lucrecia did that.

Vincent fell silent for a moment. All he could think was _how_ he was going to make that _son of a bitch_ Hojo pay for what he’d done to them. For what he’d done to Lucrecia, to him, to Jocasta, to Sephiroth. Vincent agreed with Jocasta. If she could give Sephiroth back the life that had been snatched away from him from the moment he was born, he was going to help her.

But he had mixed feelings about what Jocasta had said. Lucrecia was Sephiroth’s mother, yet Jocasta treated him like a mother should. Jocasta had at least tried to make things right, and by trying, she had risked getting herself a place amongst Hojo’s test subjects. She had _crossed the line_ in order to save Sephiroth, and she did it, even though she knew the _punishment_.

“I failed… I failed him,”

Her voice came broken in his ears and he snapped back to reality when he felt her hands already reaching out for him. For his solace. And he was going to give it to her as he reminded himself that they only had each other. Her fingers hesitantly found those straps of his leather shirt. She was hesitating because she knew that he wasn’t _hers._ And she knew that he’d never be. Even when his hands reached around her and pressed her against him immediately.

He ran his fingers through her silky hair as she wept against his chest. She was crying because she felt like she had failed Sephiroth, even though she was the only person who _hadn’t._ At least she had tried not to. _She tried._

“You did not fail him, Jocasta,” Vincent’s voice came soothingly in her ears and she lifted her head to look up at him. His hand reached for her cheeks, wiping away those wet traces left on her cheeks. “You tried to save him. It’s the most any of us has done for him,”

She sighed against his chin and she pressed her forehead by his cheekbone “You’re right,” she closed her eyes “I have to bring him back and apologize,”

“You will. You have to,” Vincent said “We both do,”


	40. The Destruction of Mideel

The cold was unpleasant for most, especially Cid as he started cursing the moment, he stepped foot off the Highwind. He was wearing a pretty fat jacket that was supposed to keep the cold out, but he was cursing anyway. Jocasta and Vincent were pretty much wearing their usual outfits since the cold didn’t bother them as much as it would bother a normal person. Cait Sith hopped on Jocasta’s shoulder as they made their way into the village that was always dressed in white.

The glow that came from the Barrier around the Crater, was greenish and bright. Sephiroth was hiding behind. Or at least Shinra claimed so. Jocasta guided them towards Gast’s house and they entered in. Passing the data to the disc that Alford had given her, wasn’t as tricky as she thought it’d be, considering that Gast’s computer was older than herself.

“So, tell me, Joe…” Cid said as he settled on a chair in Gast’s basement and puffed out his cigarette while they waited for the files to load into the disc “…how the hell do you know that bastard?”

“My sister was his mom,” Jocasta said and at that Cid’s eyes widened and his lips tightened around his cigarette.

“You mean Dr. Lucrecia Crescent?” Cait Sith asked.

“Yes,” Vincent answered.

“Hold on just a goddamn sec!” Cid cried out as he pointed at Vincent “ARE YOU SEPHIROTH’S DAD?!” he looked freaked out.

Vincent’s eyes widened for a second. He hadn’t taken the time to even consider being Sephiroth’s father. But he shook his head. It hadn’t taken more than two months after his breakup with Lucrecia before she got married to Hojo.

“No,” Vincent said.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Jocasta said but then she actually took a moment to think about.

For all she knew, Lucrecia and Vincent had _gotten intimate,_ but in no way, Sephiroth looked like him. _Yeah, long-ass hair, good looks, perfectly built body, not looking like Vincent at all._ The grey hair and the cat-green eyes were effects on his body by the JENOVA cells. It made sense since Lucrecia and Hojo had none of these characteristics. His natural hair would probably be brown or black and his eyes would be brown. But, _well_ , if she was going to succeed in bringing him back and his eyes turn crimson brown like Vincent’s _… that would be a problem._

“You guys are not convincing me,” Cid said as he spared two looks at the two who remained in silence for a minute.

“It all happened really fast, back in the day, kid,” Jocasta said and she grinned as she turned at Cid who shot her a look.

“I’m four years older than you, ya don’t get ta call me that, dramaqueen,” Cid said.

“Basically Dr. Jocasta Ernchester was born on 20th September of 1951 and Cid, ye were born on 22nd February of 1975, so that does make her older than ye,” Cait Sith said.

“What the ‘ell!? You readin’ our files right now or somethin’?!” Cid cried out at the robotic cat.

“Aye!” Cait said and Cid groaned ready to start cursing but Jocasta cut him.

“It’s done,” she said as she drew out the disc from the computer and she turned it off. She tossed the disc in her bag and she got up “Let’s go,”

The four walked out of the basement and eventually out of the house after switching off the lights. They were greeted by the cold breeze outside, and the cold snow that instantly surrounded their feet. Cid didn’t stop the questions though and that made Vincent frown even more.

“So, wait, if Vinnie ain’t his daddy, then who is?!” Cid asked confusedly.

“Professor Hojo. Of course, Sephiroth never found out about what happened to his parents and who they are,” Jocasta said.

“Damn. Ya guys’ story’s fucked up,” Cid said as his gloved hand scratched the back of his neck.

Vincent chuckled bitterly on that one. _You’ve no idea._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

They had reached Mideel by the afternoon and met up with the others in the Hospital. Jocasta rushed in the labs and started working tirelessly till her eyes stung and her limbs ached by sitting on a chair all day. Back then, her arms and her legs wouldn’t complain so much. She was so used on spending entire days into a lab. It was something that happened on a daily basis. But _now,_ everything had changed. She was no longer the research scientist she once was. She was no longer the doctor she once was.

But she had all the motivation she needed. She needed to save Sephiroth. She knew that when/if Cloud woke up from his Mako-induced coma, he wouldn’t agree. _Heck,_ she was even thinking of not telling him at all what her true intentions were, even though the team didn’t seem to object. And even if they did object, they weren’t talking to her about it.

Vincent thought it was best to leave her alone and work on the serum that would contain the antibodies. An antidote that would save Sephiroth. The son of the woman that he loved. And when Cid spilled out a pretty _reasonable_ idea, all Vincent could do was think about it. _Yes,_ he’d been intimate with Lucrecia. _Many times._ But it didn’t make sense. Why would she leave him for another man if they already had a child?

And then his fists clenched and his teeth gritted. What if that was the reason that she left? What if she was never planning on being with him, and when she found out that she was pregnant, she got married to Hojo to cover it up? But that would mean that she never _loved him._ Vincent pursed his lips as he stared blankly at the ceiling of his room in the Highwind. The mere idea of that ached harsher than Hojo’s experiments. He hated how true it could be. Maybe she never actually loved him, and she was being so nice to him because of the guilt she felt for causing his father’s death.

Vincent sighed. There he was once again hurting his own feelings with his endless overthinking in the middle of the night. Jocasta was still in the Hospital’s lab and he wasn’t going to sleep. All these days they’d both made it so well without the nightmares, he wasn’t going to sleep _now._ He was just going to wait for sunrise, which didn’t take long to come.

The moment the sun was up and Meteor closer than ever, a large earthquake snapped him off his bed. He sat at the edge of his bed when the earthquake stopped. But when it started again, he immediately jumped to his feet and grabbed his cloak and his guns. He made sure they were loaded and ready for whatever that he was going to face.

Vincent met Cid, Barret, Red, and Yuffie on his way out of the Highwind. They all seemed pretty irritated by having their sleeping interrupted like that. Cid and Barret wouldn’t stop cursing as they settled their weapons.

“The hell’s goin' on!?” Barret cried out as he cocked his gun-arm ready for use.

“You dumb?! It’s a freaking earthquake!” Cid cried out and then it hit again, and it hit harder than before.

“Let’s go find Jocasta and the others,” Vincent said and the other three nodded as they started running towards the Hospital that laid no further away.

Vincent stopped running when he noticed a moving shadow on the soil beneath their feet. Everybody seemed to notice it as they raised their gazes at the sky seeing nothing but a massive Weapon flying towards them.

“What the ACTUAL FU-”

“We’re fucked!” Barret cut Cid as he cocked his gun-arm and started shooting at it, endless bullets that did not penetrate its skin. Red snarled at the beast as it came towards them.

Vincent grabbed Death Penalty from its case by his thigh and he started shooting at the Weapon. Yuffie threw her Shuriken that merely created a scratch on the monster. It threw giant balls of fire at them. Cid and Yuffie jumped away, avoiding getting burned alive, and Barret cried out as he kept on firing at the monster. Red launched an attack with his sharp fangs and nails. 

The beast’s hand came towards Vincent. He rolled out of the way and he planted a bullet on its hand making it let out a shriek. The fight went on like this, and Vincent’s mind was filled with nothing but his beasts’ cries as they struggled against him, trying to quench their thirst for violence.

He looked as the beast knocked out Yuffie. The young girl came flying over the bark of a tree. Her back hit hard against it as she fell on her knees. Cid came with his spear, stabbing it at the beast and then drawing it back right away as the Weapon’s hand came his way. Cid wasn’t fast enough, being knocked over the soil with a loud wince and a curse. Barret was still firing uselessly at it and Red casted a Firaga spell that didn’t seem to be doing it any damage.

Vincent turned at the Weapon and for once he let out Death Gigas take over his body. He hated every time he’d have to transform. He would feel the pain as his bones and his skin would stretch into the beast’s form. He shapeshifted into the pale form of Death Gigas, letting it take all the control it needed.

The others stopped fighting for a moment as they looked at the mindless creature launching over the Weapon. Death Gigas bit hard on the Weapon’s flesh. Animalistic nails pierced sharply into its skin drawing scratches that made the Weapon shriek. Its hand came towards Death Gigas grabbing him and tossing him away. Death Gigas landed back on his feet and they all watched the Weapon retreating. It started flying away and Vincent slowly got back the control over his body, shapeshifting back to himself.

He let out a cry of pain as he felt his bones and his skin shrinking back together. Vincent’s fingers fisted around the soil as he panted hard trying to catch his breath. He was only glad Jocasta wasn’t there to see him being like this. Because he knew that if she was, she’d reconsider her feelings for him. She’d probably think that trusting him _that_ much was a bad idea. And he knew it was. She’d be disgusted of him _like everybody should._ He reminded himself bitterly as he panted for a moment trying to catch whatever was left of his energy.

When he lifted his gaze back at his companions, their eyes greeted him with surprise, confusion, terror. Vincent knew _he was a monster._ Looking at him like one, was the only way anyone would ever look at him. It was miserable, but it was true, and he had to accept it. He was no longer _human._

He gathered himself and stood up with trembling hands and feet. It drained his energy every single time. He took his moment before he met his friends’ gazes and he let out a heavy sigh.

“Everybody alright?” He asked, trying his best to act as if nothing had happened.

Yuffie gulped, Barret’s jaw dropped and Red licked his fangs “Was it tasty?” he asked and Barret turned and looked at his buddy in disbelief.

“What the hell, Red?!”

“It was a genuine question,” Red replied.

“Remind me to never get on your nerves, Vinnie,” Cid said with an awkward, terrified chuckle which ceased right away as another quake took over. Yuffie let out a squeak and they all tried to brace themselves as the whole place shook.

Vincent’s jaw tightened as the first thought that popped into his mind was _Jocasta._ He started running towards the Hospital. He had to find her and make sure she was safe. The quake didn’t cease this time and it looked like the entire place was about to start falling apart. A few houses crashed around him as he ran towards the hospital bumping onto people that ran around the place in panic. The other four cried out his name as they tried to run from behind, but he wouldn’t hear them in the midst of a crowd of panicked people.

When his gaze spotted Jocasta, and Tifa pulling on Cloud’s wheelchair in the midst of all this chaos, he let out a breath of relief and his hand reached immediately for Jocasta’s. “Vincent!” she cried out as her frightened eyes found his and her hands reached for his chest.

“What’s going on?!” Tifa asked panicked as they stopped running for a second.

Vincent shook his head confusedly, but then Cid’s voice came panicked from behind, shouting “Guys! Get the hell out of there!”

The three turned around only to see the soil behind them retreating into a pool of pure Mako. Vincent instinctively grabbed Jocasta’s hand and they started running. The ground behind them continued retreating and Tifa let out a loud shout as she wasn’t fast enough and she and Cloud fell into the pool of Mako.

Jocasta turned around and she tried to help them “Tifa!” She cried out and she tried to approach them, but Vincent’s hands were tight around her as he urged her to keep moving. He clutched on her shirt making sure he had a tight hold on her and urged them both to jump away from the retreating soil beneath their feet. They jumped unnaturally high and when they landed, he made sure she was on top of him when they crashed back on the solid ground.

She felt his cold gauntlet tracing her back as she lifted her face off his chest and looked down at him. Her fingers were clutching on the straps on his chest, and her whole body was on top of his. His arms were still tight around her and he instantly forgot the pain on his back from the crash. He let out another sigh of relief as she buried her face in his neck and let out a sigh. She was safe and his heartbeat slowed down _for now._ He couldn’t stop the terror that possessed him whenever he considered the thought of something bad happening to her.

But Cloud and Tifa had fallen into all that Mako, and Vincent only wished that they would be okay. Despite everything, the two of them stayed like that for a moment. There were no people around, the soil was cold behind his back, and there was nothing but the smoke of countless houses that had been engulfed into that sea of Mako beneath.

Vincent couldn’t understand why his hands were still around her and why she still lied on top of him without pulling away. But he knew that he _didn’t_ _want her to pull away_. The way she clutched on his shirt, the way her body trembled against his, still shook from all the running.

Maybe it was that none of both had slept that night. The only night they’d spent lately without each other. They both did look tired. She looked exhausted. Almost as tired as she looked back when she was working tirelessly in her little handmade lab/room back in the days they’d spent together.

“You’re okay?” Vincent asked in genuine worry as he ran his right hand through her messy hair.

Jocasta nodded as she lifted her head to look down at him. Her hand cupped his face, taking a better look at the circles of tiredness around his eyes. She sighed “We’ll sleep once we find Cloud and Tifa,”

Vincent nodded and when she got up, he hated the absence of her body’s weight over his.


	41. A Fight

The faint figures of bodies laid in the waves of that sea of Mako that surrounded whatever was left of Mideel. The team and the Highwind’s crew had set off to help the injured people that were left in the half-destroyed town. The Hospital was left intact thankfully and all the doctors and nurses offered all the help that they could. Jocasta too put her knowledge to good use, patching up the wounded, casting her healing Materia that was going to make sure they were okay.

Yuffie, Cait Sith, and the Highwind’s crew were scattered around the bunch of Mideel’s townsfolk, handing them food and blankets and everything they’d need. Cid’s orders _of course._ Cid, Barret, and Vincent had set off to look for Tifa and Cloud, and when Jocasta’s senses spotted Barret’s loud voice shouting out that they had found them, she immediately stopped what she was doing and she hurried towards them.

Vincent’s hands reached for the buckles of his cloak, ready to take it off and jump into the Mako sea, but Cid’s hand found his shoulder stopping him.

“It’s alright, Vinnie, Barret, and I can handle this,” Cid said as he took off his boots.

“You’re sure?” Vincent asked.

“Aye!” said the Captain, before he jumped into the sea with Barret following closely behind, and the two of them swam towards the familiar figures that floated in the green liquid. They dragged them out on the shore and Jocasta immediately casted her healing Materia, making sure that whatever Mako they had swallowed, wasn’t enough to drown them. Tifa was the one to open her eyes first, and Yuffie knelt beside her immediately, grabbing her friend’s hand.

“Hey! Teefs! You’re alive! How’re you feelin’!? Do you need something?! I could get ya a-” Yuffie bombarded her with questions worriedly, but she stopped once she felt Jocasta’s hand on her shoulder.

“Yuffie, give her a moment,” Jocasta said and the young girl sighed knowing that Jocasta was right.

“How’re you feeling?” Jocasta asked as she knelt beside Tifa.

Tifa’s attention immediately turned towards Cloud, who was still lying unconscious on the beach nearby. She had to make sure he was safe first, before saying or doing anything further.

“He’s gonna be alright,” Jocasta assured her, and Tifa’s gaze fell back at her.

“I know. H- he… he found himself,” Tifa said vaguely before she laid her head back down on the sand and she closed her eyes tiredly, letting out a breath of relief.

The Highwind’s crewmembers came and picked up Tifa and Cloud and carried them both back into their rooms in the ship. _Cid’s orders, again._ They all knew that they couldn’t wait any longer. They had already lost much time, and Meteor was reaching closer and closer each day. They all knew it was only a matter of time.

So, after the team helped Mideel’s people for a little bit more, they headed back into the Highwind, where Jocasta tended on Cloud and Tifa, till they were both ready to explain what had happened.

It turned out; Cloud carried the memories of someone else’s. He’d never made SOLDIER, but the memories he’d confused as his own, were one’s that actually was a SOLDIER First Class. Zack Fair. His friend. As if he was somehow into an illusion, all he could see was himself in Zack’s place during the Nibelheim incident. Cloud had gathered his team in the bridge of the Highwind and explained his story in utter disappointment in himself.

“Pretty damn strong for an illusion, I’d say,” Barret said.

Jocasta sighed “It’s not impossible considering Hojo took you and infused you with JENOVA cells and Mako…” her hand found her chin as she thought about it for a moment “…considering JENOVA’s keen into messing with the people’s minds, fusing your memory with somebody else’s, it makes sense,”

“Does that mean Cloud’s going to go mad?” Red asked.

“Not if I have anything to say about it…” Jocasta said as her hand reached for her bad and drew out a syringe that contained a purplish liquid “…it’s still in an experimental stage, but this serum contains antibodies that are supposed to destroy every single JENOVA cell that resides one’s body,”

Everybody’s eyes widened for a second as they stared at her in surprise. Cloud looked at her with that faint glimpse of hope in his eyes “Does that mean…?”

“I can help you get rid of that alien, Cloud. Not just you. Every poor soul that has been injected with that being’s cells. This one should work, theoretically, but still, I’m gonna need more time,” Jocasta explained, before she placed gently that syringe back into her bag that hung from her shoulder and she hoped that it wasn’t obvious the fact that she was _lying_.

Of course, she was lying. That serum was _ready._ And it could be injected into somebody at any time, but she wanted to preserve it for Sephiroth. If Cloud knew that it was ready for use, he’d probably ask her to inject him _right now_ because she knew, he was done with having that alien controlling his body. But that liquid was the only one she’d gotten the time to make, and _for now,_ it was her only way of saving Sephiroth. Cloud could wait.

“Holy Mother of Shiva! That’s fuckin’ awesome, Joe!” Cid cried out.

Tifa cracked a wide smile. Hope was instantly restored on hers and Cloud’s faces. Yuffie cheered as she threw a fist in the other, and Red smiled. Vincent almost smiled, but there was something off about the way Jocasta finished her sentence. He made a mental note to ask her privately about it some other time and focused on Barret as he spoke.

“Damn, girl!”

“So, I guess the leadership falls back on Spiky,” Cid said and _now_ everybody turned and looked at Cloud who had a considerate expression on his face as he took a moment to think.

“What’s our next move, Cloud?” Tifa asked.

“I’m the reason Meteor is falling towards us,” Cloud said regretfully as his hands fisted “I need to make this right. I can’t ask for any of you to answer for _my_ mistakes,”

“You’re crazy to think we’ll let you have all the fun!” Barred cried out.

“Cloud, we’re in this together,” Tifa said.

“Like we’ve been from the beginning,” Red said.

“Fuck yeah! I promised I’d help save the goddamn world!” Cid added.

“Can’t think of doing anything cooler,” Yuffie said excitedly.

Cloud gave the closest thing to a smile at his team before he turned at Barret and he said “It’s like you’ve always told me, Barret,”

Barret started laughing “There ain’t no gettin’ offa this train we’re on!”

Tifa laughed “Exactly!”

“Lads!” Cait Sith’s voice came from behind, and he sounded panicked “I hate ta rush t’ings, but here’s another Mako Reactor where Shinra’s plannin’ on takin’ its Huge Materia! The Undersea Mako Reactor in Junon!” the cat closed its PHS and he hopped on the control panels trying to reach the level of his companions.

“Alright! Headin’ for Junon, Spiky?” Cid asked as he turned at Cloud. When Cloud nodded, Cid turned and gave the orders to his trainee pilot. 

After giving Yuffie the antiemetics that would keep her stomach at ease, Jocasta headed back in her room to clean up the blades of her daggers and her Sais. She hadn’t tended on her gear lately, and since she had the time, she thought it was best to do it _now._

A long moment passed, with scrubbing and taking off the sticky bloodstains on her Sais, she finally got to the sharpening part. Jocasta was sitting at the edge of her bed thinking about everything that had been going on.

Her mind snapped back to the _ridiculously prolonged_ moment that she’d taken on top of Vincent when half of Mideel was destroyed. Sure, she knew how to fight and take care of herself, but all that action that she’d experienced with that team, was nothing like what she’d experienced for the entirety of these thirty years that had passed. _Running for her life_ was a whole new kind of thing for her.

She was a scientist, a doctor. She had known nothing in her life than a pile of books on a desk. A research lab. A hospital. The battlefield was never her _forte_ even though she tried to make it. Life _forced_ her to learn to fight. She remembered the day when she knocked on Veld’s door, almost thirty years ago, and she asked him for help.

It was night, and she was a writhing, wounded mess that had just escaped Midgar’s labs. Hojo’s lab. She knew she’d find him in Kalm. Or at least she hoped he was there. It was the closest City to Midgar. And he did help, and she would never be able to repay him for that.

Jocasta realized she was sharpening the blades of her daggers a little too harshly when she heard the loud familiar clacking of metallic sabatons hitting against the floor. She turned around, seeing Vincent standing by her half-opened door, and hesitantly proceeding into her room.

She didn’t know if she should smile or frown, or just act indifferent. She didn’t know what _they_ had. Vincent’s heart was Lucrecia’s for so long, and she knew it still was, and it would forever be. Jocasta knew that these kisses and these touches meant nothing, but, _honestly_ , she didn’t care. Or maybe, she tried to convince herself that she didn’t.

Jocasta shook the _stupid_ thoughts away and she focused on him as he spoke “You were lying when you were talking about the serum, weren’t you?” he said as he closed the door of her room behind him “Does it work?”

She gritted her teeth for a moment. She knew she could never fool him. Even before all that mess took place, even back then she couldn’t lie to him because he’d always know when she did.

She sighed “It works. I only said it doesn’t yet because I need to save this for Sephiroth,”

“Hm,” Vincent just nodded “You didn’t tell Cloud you were intending to save him,”

“Cloud’s not going to agree,” Jocasta said “Maybe the others do at some percent, but Cloud…” she just shook her head as she placed the one dagger on the small table and she grabbed the other.

“What if he tries to kill him?” Vincent asked and he was making a _pretty good_ point.

Jocasta gritted her teeth. She hadn’t thought of it that way. She stopped sharpening her dagger and she took a moment to think about it. What was she going to do if it got to that? Jump between Cloud’s sword and Sephiroth? Her fingers messed nervously with the long sleeve of her shirt. She would. But was it worth it? _Yes._ She reminded herself that it wasn’t Sephiroth. It was the alien behind all this, and that it was only _using_ Sephiroth. It was still a guess. A theory. But it _had_ to be true. It made sense in so many things.

She rested her dagger back down on the wooden table and she turned at Vincent who was waiting for an answer, and she, _honestly_ , didn’t know what to tell him. If she was willing to sacrifice herself in that battle, what would that mean for him. Jocasta just chuckled bitterly as she reminded herself, that Vincent _wasn’t_ actually _feeling_ anything for her. Those hugs and those kisses were just his way out of the mess they were in. She had to admit, she didn’t _mind_ it. At some point, she too could use a distraction. But she couldn’t stop that storm of emotions that washed over her every time they’d kiss, hug, touch. Every time she did anything that involved _him_.

“I guess we’ll have to hope it doesn’t get to that,” Jocasta said as she turned her attention back on her gear. _There she was_ , lying again. She knew that it _would_ get to that. They both knew _._

Vincent approached her. His hand grabbed hers by her elbow, stopping her from doing anything further, and catching her attention. “You _won’t_ get in the way, Jocasta,” his eyes pierced hers as his grasp tightened around her arm. He was familiar with her stubbornness, but _right now,_ he was dead-serious when he said that. He couldn’t lose her. He didn’t know why, he _just_ couldn’t and it was as simple as that.

“I can’t let him die,” she said as she turned and looked at him and she tried to ignore the ever-growing pain from his tight grasp around her arm.

“I can’t let _you_ die,”

The words ran out of his lips without even noticing. He wasn’t sure why he said that, but he knew it was true. He knew that he’d blame himself if anything happened to her. And if it did, he would sink back in his nightmares and his even-growing guilt, with another sin, added amongst the many that he had committed. But was that all? A guilty conscience? The nightmares and their demons that they had saved each other from? Or was there anything more to it?

 _No._ He tried to remind himself that he wasn’t ready for it to become _anything_ more. But when her face softened and her other hand reached for his cheek, that thought stopped and his attention focused on her. On the warmth of her fingers as they brushed his cheek and pushed those messy strands of hair away. Then his grasp around her hand, relaxed and his arm reached for her waist. He wanted to pull her closer and let her fool him that all was going to be alright. He knew she would be lying if she said that, because _nothing_ was going to be _alright_ if he lost her.

“Vincent…” she said as she let her thumb slide over his pale cheek.

She didn’t know what to say. But she knew that the _hopes_ that she was building up for _whatever_ they had between them, were just a _stupid_ result of that _stupid_ rush of emotions that came when he said that. Did he really mean it? Was she _that_ important to him? Still, she parted her lips to speak and no words came out. If she _died_ what would that mean for him? If _he_ died, what would that mean for _her_? Could it be the same? She didn’t know, and she didn’t know how to ask anything like that.

Her hands reached around his shoulders and she pulled him into a hug. He did not resist, and he did not pull back. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do anymore, but his hands moved around her and pressed her against him tighter than he’d like to admit. He too was surprised by himself. Was he actually growing feelings for her?

“It won’t get to this,” Jocasta said as reassuringly as she could, but she wasn’t sure if she was trying to reassure _him_ or _herself._ She knew that it wasn’t working for either, but it was, _honestly,_ the only thing she could say.

Vincent fell silent and just buried his face in her hair on top of her head. She nuzzled her face in his neck, right above that collar of his cloak, and he could feel her hot breath brushing over his skin there. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to imagine that the woman in his arms was _Lucrecia_ , and how he’d do anything to _bring her_ back. And _now,_ Jocasta was there and she was hugging _him,_ and when she closed her eyes, she wasn’t thinking of anyone else but _him._ He knew it and he felt horrible when all he saw was Lucrecia’s face the moment he’d close his eyes.

 _No._ He snapped his eyes open and tried to focus on _her and now._ He was a mess that resided amongst the ghosts of a broken past, ignoring the brightening reality. She did _not_ deserve that.

Vincent pulled away and his gloved hand found her cheek. He parted his lips to speak and tell her that they should _stop._ They should stop because it hurt _hurting her_ like that. But the way her grey eyes gazed up at him, filled with _nothing_ but hope. _Hope._ Hope for what? Did he have _anything_ to feel hopeful about? Was _hope_ going to keep her safe?

He sighed and he drew his hands away, urging her to draw her own hands back. He knew he couldn’t change her mind. Vincent turned around to walk out of her room, with that unreadable expression on his face that made it impossible for _anybody_ to figure out what he was thinking. _Oh_ but Jocasta knew what he was thinking. She sighed exasperatedly.

“I can’t believe you still love her after what she did,” She wasn’t thinking when she said that. She just knew she wanted to say it. She just knew she had been holding it in for so long.

At that, he stopped halfway the door, and he turned around facing her with a confused expression on his half-hidden face. What could she mean by that? For all he knew, none of this was Lucrecia’s fault. It was all his fault because he had _failed_ to protect Lucrecia from Hojo’s manipulative words. He had failed to change her mind and all he did was _watch_ her self-destruct. Something he’d never forgive of himself. It was the main reason he’d _lost_ the will to _live._ It was why he loathed himself beyond measure.

He scoffed as he felt that anger boiling inside of him, but he knew he was doing a pretty good job at hiding it. “What happened, it wasn’t her fault, Jocasta. It was mine. Ours. _We_ were the ones who _failed_ to change her mind,”

“You can’t make want to forgive her, Vincent. I didn’t mind her marrying Hojo. But _experiment?_ On her _own_ child?! We tried to talk them out of this. You and I. We tried. But she insisted. She didn’t take a single second to think about her _own child!_ You weren’t there, Vincent! You weren’t there to see what Hojo did to him-”

“I wasn’t,” he cut her firmly, but there was that tension of anger in his deep voice that stopped her from spelling another word.

She was right. He wasn’t there. He had turned his back on the world. Shutting himself in a coffin was the best thing he could do back in the day. After the pain of an endless torture that he’d barely escaped, he would welcome the eternal slumber with open arms, and never return to the world. He was so keen to run and hide that he didn’t think of what he was leaving behind. Jocasta and Lucrecia’s child in the hands of that madman Hojo. He hadn’t thought about them back in the day, because he was so self-absorbed into his guilt and his pain.

So self-absorbed in trying to _accept_ his monstrous nature. The monsters and the beasts, and the demons that resided in him, he was just learning to control these when Hojo’s lancets would cut through his skin. When injections would unleash _who knows what_ into his body. And he’d scream and fight against the restraints while he’d suffer. And within his own screams, he’d hear Jocasta’s. Or at least, shouts that sounded like hers. He didn’t know how long he was restrained in a lab, but there were _other_ people in the labs next door and he feared that Jocasta was one of them.

When the night before, he saw those scars around her wrists, these fears had been realized and he was ready to admit that they were _the same._ They had experienced the same pain, the same torture and he knew he should accept that. And even back then, he was still _too weak_ to save her, just he had failed to save Lucrecia, and all that guilt _drowned_ him.

“But I was when he… experimented on you,” he said, and it was so hard to even fathom what he’d done to her. It was so hard to imagine her tied, helpless. A writhing mess in pain. It was so hard to think of how he had _failed_ to protect her too.

Jocasta chuckled bitterly “I thought I heard your voice,” her gaze found the floor, afraid that if she looked at him it would be so much difficult to keep the tears back.

Hojo would experiment on people in Nibelheim’s labs where he had most of the control. But when one of his specimens escaped, _Vincent,_ he moved that research to the Shinra Headquarters in Midgar.

“You’re right… Jocasta. I wasn’t there. But what Hojo did to us, wasn’t Lucrecia’s fault,” Vincent said.

She chuckled in disbelief “Are you kidding me?! Why else do you think he shot you?! You went to confront him. Talk to him about what they were planning to do. Talk about Lucrecia. And he shot you! He killed you!”

“Then brought me back-”

“Lucrecia and I brought you back!”

At that, he looked at her confused. Jocasta pursed her lips as she turned her back at him and she pressed her hands on her table. He knew she wasn’t going to explain anything further and that conversation had already gone too far.

Jocasta heard the metallic sound of him shutting her door. She grabbed her trembling hands around her waist. Her gaze focused on the floor as she walked towards her window and stared outside blankly. She pressed her forehead against the cold glass of her window as a silent tear slipped down her cheek. _What am I doing?_ Was she actually ready to tell him how his _beloved_ condemned him in a torturous life? A continuous struggle between himself and his beasts that _she had forced inside of him._

 _No._ How could she explain that? She wanted anything but hurt him.


	42. The Last Mako Reactor

“How many more floors down should we go?” Yuffie asked yawning boringly as the team entered the elevator Cloud led them too.

They had arrived in Junon by the same night, and the people there had been in unease. Jocasta couldn’t blame them when half of Shinra’s troops were possibly overseeing the retrieval of their Mako Reactor’s Huge Materia.

“I have a feeling we’re getting close,” Cloud said.

“You sure you know where you’re takin’ us?!” Barret asked.

“It would’ve been wiser to ask the guy who built this place,” Cait Sith commented.

“You’re a goddamn spy. You could be leadin’ us in a goddamn trap!” Cid cried out at the robotic cat who stood on Jocasta’s shoulder.

“Oh, come on! I’ve been with ye lads for so long! Haven’t I proved meself yet!?” Cait cried out.

“We’re just trying to be cautious. Don’t take it personal, Cait,” Tifa said.

The team stopped their little chat once they realized the elevator had just reached their destination and its doors opened. The team were all ready to attack any possible infantrymen that were supposed to be there, but the moment the door opened, the underground glassy hall, seemed empty. The glass was built around keeping the water out and making a corridor that led towards the Mako Reactor that was built underseas. Just the mere thought of an Undersea Mako Reactor, sounded like lots of gil had been spent.

“Man, imagine the gil spent for this place,” Cid commented as he slipped his gaze around them.

“As a matter of fact, 15 billion gil was spent on this place’s construction,” Cait Sith informed.

“Whoooaaaahhhh!” Yuffie’s voice came from behind.

Barret chuckled bitterly “All that gil gained from draining the life of the Planet! Greedy bastards!”

Jocasta couldn’t say she didn’t agree. The consumption of Mako was _indeed_ draining the Planet of life, and judging by the number of years Shinra has been doing that, Jocasta could only calculate that at least a couple hundreds of years of the Planet’s life, were gone thus. But Shinra wouldn’t care the least so long their pockets were full.

Jocasta sighed as she glanced over at Vincent who had been quietly following the team from the back. They hadn’t talked ever since that little _chat_ they had a few hours ago, and she just hoped that _whatever_ had started building between them, wasn’t ruined. She chuckled bitterly at the _ridiculous_ thought. _Hope. When did I start hoping so much?_ Thirty years in misery, _hope_ was the last thing she had thought to do. But that’s what _love_ does to people. It feeds them with _fake_ hopes.

After a long moment of walking, the team finally reached the Undersea Mako Reactor’s entrance. Cloud entered first, the place seemed empty surprisingly and all Jocasta could think was if this was all a trap.

Cloud turned a lever opening a gate and proceeding further into the undersea building. They passed through a large platform that harbored two huge submarines that the team stared at them in wonder and Cid let out a couple of curses against Shinra. They proceeded further into the reactor till they reached Mako Storage. A large machine was seen taking the Huge Materia from the depths of the Mako and carrying it towards the submarines.

“Ah, shit! Missed it by a whisker!” Barret scratched his head.

“They’re gonna transport it with the submarine!” Yuffie cried out as she pointed at the Huge Materia that was being carried away.

“Spiky, what do we do?!” Cid cried out.

“Back to the submarines!” Cloud said before he hastily turned around and started heading back to the hall they’d entered from before.

They reached the submarines and Yuffie pointed at the Huge Materia as it was being placed into one of the two submarines. A formally dressed man, with scarlet hair and shining green eyes, walked out on the deck with a phone in his hand, pressed over his ear and he groaned.

“What the hell are they thinking- Right… Yeah… uh-huh… Fuck it, I’m on my way,” He said before he pressed the button ending the call and tossing the phone back into his pocket. His attention fell on the team and he groaned irritatingly, rolling his eyes as if he recognized them. “For fuck’s sakes…” he cursed under his breath.

Cloud drew out his sword and got in his stance “Give us the Huge Materia, Reno,” 

“Oh, believe me, I’d love to stick around and fuck with you people, but I got a job to take care of,” Reno said before he grabbed his phone back and he pressed a few buttons.

A giant machine came crawling their way, balancing itself on its metallic arms and Reno ran away vanishing somewhere within the deck. The team was already too occupied with reaching for their weapons. Yuffie shot immediately her Shuriken, creating a large scratch on one of the machine’s legs. Barret started shooting endlessly, Cid and Jocasta charged with their own blades, creating their own scratches and cuts. Cloud shot Lightning Bolt which seemed to be doing a pretty good job, and Tifa just _beat the shit out of it._

Vincent fired with Cerberus. The thick bullets were creating huge holes on its metallic cell, giving Jocasta all the space that she needed to stuff the blades of her Sais and ensuring the damage on its wires beneath.

A line of laser came towards them. Yuffie jumped away with her sharp ninja skills, Cid used the blade of his spear to redirect it back to the machine creating massive damage on its protective metallic cell. Jocasta noticed the laser coming her way. She jumped out of the way and she landed on top of the machine. The blades of her Sais penetrated its armor and she dragged them all over it trying to give it all the damage she could.

She drew out her Sais and she jumped back on solid ground. Its one hand reached for Barret, but Red dragged him out of the way and Barret started shooting uselessly at the metal. Cloud launched forward with his sword, creating scratches and cuts with the heavy blade of his sword. Yuffie’s Shuriken came flying towards it as Tifa casted a Thundaga spell.

It didn’t take long before the machine stopped working and the team was surrounded again by a bunch of SOLDIER infantrymen. Jocasta’s fingers tightened around the stems of her Sais as she remained in her stance and she started counting them as they surrounded them.

“Throw down your weapons!”

“Surrender or we will open fire!”

“Fire away, asshole!” Barret cried out before he started firing endlessly at the soldiers and they started firing back.

Jocasta’s fast reflexes kicked in, and she spun her Sais cutting in half the bullets that came towards her. Vincent shot with Cerberus and Cid launched forward, slicing their hands with his spear. Tifa started punching and kicking, and Cloud swung and tossed his sword around, and Red launched forward with his sharp nails and fangs. Yuffie’s Shuriken flew around, slicing the infantrymen’s throats and knocking them down.

Jocasta spun her Sais as she attacked two. Her foot slipped beneath the one’s feet, making him lose his balance and fall down. She turned on the other that had been shooting her from behind. She made a few steps back avoiding all the bullets that came flying her way. She bowed when she noticed that shift in the air of a sword coming her. They were _three. Dammit._ The soldier that she had knocked down was back up on his feet. Jocasta swiftly created a cut on the one’s hand, making him wince in pain and drop his gun. She side-kicked him hard on the head making him fall down with a loud wince of pain.

The swordsman came towards her from behind, and she was still dealing with the other that was shooting at her with his own gun. She grabbed his gun. Her fingers tightened around it, bending the cold, hard steel and he looked at her surprised. Jocasta bowed down as the other soldier’s sword came to slice her head. She used the stem of her Sai and she punched him hard on his stomach making him let out a groan of pain. His hands clutched on his chest. She elbowed the soldier behind her and she gave one last kick on the swordsman, knocking him unconscious.

Jocasta glanced around her to check the status of her companions. They had just finished with their opponents and Cloud was already running towards the submarine that was about to start sailing away. She noticed Vincent was giving her look. Was it a surprised one? Was it a smirk? She would’ve known if he wasn’t hiding his face beneath that collar of his. She urged herself out of it and they followed the team to the submarine.

There were two more soldiers on the inside that by the time Vincent and Jocasta reached, the team had already handled them. There was a map on the wall that was supposed to lead around the submarine’s quarters and corridors. Cloud hurried towards it and he started studying it.

Tifa stood beside him as she pressed a finger on her chin “Looks like the bridge is this way,” she pointed at the door on the far right.

Cloud’s hand had reached for his temple as he shut his eyes and groaned for a moment. Tifa’s hand found his shoulder. He turned and looked at her. Her doe-brown eyes found his in worry. Cloud just shook his head “Let’s go,” he said and the team followed him to the bridge.

It was filled with computers and control panels attached around its walls but there were only two infantrymen standing above them. Vincent shot the one and Jocasta threw an arrow at the other, knocking them both off. Cloud seemed in unease as both his hands reached for his temples. Jocasta placed her bow on her back and she hurried towards him. Her hand reached for his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” She asked and the only thing that she could suspect was that he was getting seasick.

“I can’t… the lack of space, the shaking, the roar of the engine…” Cloud’s eyes shut tight and Tifa’s hand was shaking around his shoulder from the worry.

“Claustrophobia,” Jocasta said nodding.

“Phobia-What?!” Yuffie asked

“Come again?” Cid asked.

“The fear of being into a place that hasn’t much space,” Jocasta explained.

“What can we do about it?” Tifa asked worriedly as she took her eyes away from Cloud and for a moment, she looked at Jocasta.

Jocasta sighed “The only treatment is self-exposure to that fear. It’s psychological, I’m afraid I can’t do anything. Unless you want some morphine?” she suggested as her hand reached from her bag that hung from her shoulder.

“YOU CARRY DRUGS IN THERE?!” Barret cried out, eyes widened, turning at her in disbelief.

“Cool! Can I have some?!” Yuffie asked excitedly before everybody -minus Vincent and Cloud- yelled at her in unison.

“NO!”

“No need to, I’m gonna be alright,” Cloud said as his hands retreated from his temples and he shakily gave her a nod.

“You’re sure?” Tifa asked worried and he turned at her, giving her another reassuring nod.

“Alright then! Yo! Cid, how do we move this whale?!” Barret asked as he pointed at the controls.

Cid groaned as he hurried towards the computers and the control panels and he cursed under his breath. “Fuck ‘em those Shinra assholes for usin’ the best shit,”

“Can you pilot it or not?!” Barret pressed.

“Shut the fuck up and lemme concentrate!” Cid cried out as his hands pressed buttons and moved levers and then he grabbed the rudder mumbling curses.

He piloted the submarine quite skillfully keeping them from crashing onto somewhere through the endless deep dark blue of the ocean around them. They finally exited the Shinra base and were finally into free waters. Cid smirked as the others cheered his name, but when he looked at the cameras that were attached on the metallic walls, he groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Jocasta asked as she approached him and she took a look on the screen. _Shit._

“Fuckin’ Huge Materia fell at the bottom of the fuckin’ ocean,” Cid said.

“Then let’s go get it then!” Barret cried out and Cid grabbed the controls again and moved the submarine around the bottom of the ocean with a few more curses under his breath.

The team had stuck their eyes on the screens of the cameras that were spread around the control room, trying to find the Huge Materia that must’ve been placed somewhere. In less than five minutes of searching -and Cid cursing- Yuffie pointed at one of the screens and she yelled out excitedly.

“There it is! On the right, old man!”

Cid nodded “Thanks, brat,” as he loaded the Huge Materia on the chopper that was attached outside of the submarine and recovered it.

“Hey!”

“Good job, Yuffie,” Tifa placed a hand on the young girl’s shoulder and she gave her a smile.

“Aight, no damage neither on our goddamn Huge Materia, nor this fuckin’ state-of-the-art submarine,” Cid informed as he turned at Cloud and waited for further orders.

Cloud nodded and parted his lips to speak but he stopped when a voice came from the speaker.

_“All Shinra Submarine Units, do you hear?”_

_“All Shinra Submarine Units, do you hear?”_

“Must be from Shinra,” Tifa said.

“Cloud, you were one of those people. Respond so that they won’t know something’s wrong,” Jocasta said.

Cloud nodded before he reached for the controls. He pressed the button activating the microphone and everybody in the team fell silent. Cloud took a look on one of the soldier’s shirts, where their numbers were sewn and he spoke.

“Trooper 0399, awaiting orders, over,”

_“Report No. 2,”_

That was probably the name of the submarine “Everything’s fine,”

_“Roger… Your next mission is… return to Junon Harbor. We will transport all the Huge Materias retrieved via an airplane from the airport. Those without assignments will report for guard duty, over,”_

“Roger,” Cloud finished and he deactivated the microphone.

“All the Huge Materias?” Tifa asked as she bit her lip.

“Fuck! How many are there?!” Barret cried out.

“No idea. But we have to stop them,” Cloud said as he turned at Cid “We have to get to Junon Airport,”

“Alright then!” Cid said before he turned back at the controls and started piloting. 


	43. Space

The moment they sneaked into the airport, one of the airplanes had already taken off and a bunch of SOLDIER infantrymen that passed by, had been discussing how it was carrying all the Huge Materias back to Rocket Town. Cid was way too tense upon hearing that Shinra was going to take a bunch of the world’s most _powerful Materias_ in his hometown.

The team had boarded the Highwind that flew nearby the airplane, taking them back to Rocket Town. Cid was pacing around the bridge of his ship, mumbling stuff to himself. Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Red were talking to each other. Cait was listening through his PHS and Jocasta had just finished giving Yuffie the dosage of antiemetics that she’d need to get through the flight.

Vincent was standing silent by the corner of the room. His back rested against the metallic wall and his hands were crossed against his chest as he waited silently. His eyes were focused on the floor, and all Jocasta could guess, was that he was probably brooding over some long-lost memory _again._ Jocasta sighed as she turned her attention at Cid who was still pacing around.

“Calm the fuck down, Cid, you aren’t helping here,” Jocasta said.

“Shut the fuck up, Joe! Those motherfuckin’ Shinras ARE GONNA BLOW UP MA FUCKIN’ TOWN,” Cid cried out.

Jocasta sat straight “They aren’t gonna blow up your town. We’ll stop them-”

Cid gasped as the realization hit him “Shera! I gotta fuckin’ save that gorgeous science bitch who destroyed my dreams! And what if Shinra actually decides to crush ma baby No. 26 with Meteor?! I’MMA HAVE TO SAVE MA BABY TOO!”

Jocasta had to admit that Cid was making a pretty good point. It made sense that Shinra would probably crash the rocket with Meteor _but_ “You aren’t actually suggesting that we board the ship that’s gonna crash with the fuckin’ Meteor, are you?”

“That’s suicide,” Yuffie said as she entered the bridge of the Highwind “LET’S DO IT!”

“No!” Jocasta said as she shot the sixteen-year-old a look.

“No, you people stay ‘ere. No. 26 is ma baby. No ship should go down without her Captain-” Cid tried to say but Cloud cut them.

“If that’s the case, then Cid’s right. We’re gonna have to board on the Shinra Rocket No. 26 and try to stop it,” Cloud said.

“Oh c’mon! Spiky, it’s ma rocket. Besides, I can’t promise ya guys we’ll come back in one piece even if I-”

“We’re coming with you, Cid,” Vincent finally spoke as he stood straight and approached the team.

“Yeah! We’re a team! We help each other out,” Yuffie said.

Jocasta could have sworn, Cid was about to cry. “Oh, you motherfuckin’ incredible assholes, I love y'all so much,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

When the team reached Rocket Town, the people were in unease, chatting and glancing at the Rocket that rested nearby. A bunch of Shinra trucks were parked around the town’s streets. Cid asked around his people, most of his mechanics were in the rocket, trying to put its pieces back together and prepare it for flying.

“Cid!” Shera’s voice came from behind, nearby the Captain’s house, and the team turned around and watched the young Rocket Scientist pulling Cid into a tight hug. Cid’s hands grabbed tightly around her waist, clutching on her lab-coat before he pulled back.

“Shera! Are you okay?! No Shinra asshole hurt you, right?!” Cid asked worriedly and Shera gave him a warm smile.

“I’m alright, Cid. But our Rocket won’t be…” she pulled back and turned at the Rocket’s direction “…Shinra’s preparing to load it with Huge Materia and crash it with Meteor. Which a horrible idea, really,” she said and she gritted her teeth.

Cid groaned angrily “Those fuckin’ assholes! Wanna destroy ma fuckin’ ship, and I gotta clear their fuckin’ mess-” Cid said as he started heading towards the rocket, but Shera grabbed his hand stopping him.

“Wait! This way is surrounded by Shinra troops. I can get you guys inside via the construction site as engineers and techs,” Shera said and she hurried towards the other side of the road and the team followed her.

There were a bunch of engineers and rocket scientists. Most of them were the people who lived in that town and had worked on that rocket before. They recognized Cid and he talked to them before a bunch of Shinra troopers came running their way. Jocasta’s hands reached for her Sais as she got in her stance and counted the troopers that had surrounded them. She looked at the frightened scientists as they noticed that there was about to be a big fight.

“Fuckin’ assholes, wanna go?!” Cid cried out as he grabbed his spear and attacked first.

Vincent drew out Death Penalty and shot at a soldier who was about to shoot at Shera. Jocasta fell between Shera and a couple of bullets that came flying her way. She used her Sais to dodge them. Jocasta hurried over that soldier and she knocked him off with a powerful hit on the head. Jocasta turned back at Shera who was shaking in terror.

“Thank you!” She cried out gratefully and frightened.

Jocasta glanced around at her friends and back at the soldier that she had just knocked down. She picked his gun and handed it to her “You know how to use this, right?”

Shera’s trembling fingers grabbed around the gun’s handle and she tried to act aloof “Pfft- Of course I do, I’m a freakin’ Rocket Scienti- AH SHIT!” Shera tried to shoot on the soldier that Cid had been struggling with, and instead of planting one bullet on his chest, a couple of them came out.

Cid’s eyes widened when he realized Shera had actually shot someone “What the fuck, Shera?! You almost shot me!”

“Sorry!”

When Cid noticed Jocasta was standing beside her, he shot her an angry look “Fuck! Joe! You’re being a bad influence on ma woman!”

Jocasta’s hands reached for her bow and arrows as she planted two arrows on two soldiers that came their way “Shut up and fight!” she cried out before she settled her bow back and she grabbed her Sais getting in her stance to confront the other bunch of soldiers that came their way.

Jocasta kicked the soldier harshly between his legs making him cry out and fall unconsciously. She crashed her other Sai with the next soldier’s sword. He pulled back and tried to harm her, but a gunshot came from behind and multiple bullets found his chest. Another bunch of bullets nearly found her, but Jocasta jumped out of the way.

She turned around only to see Shera enjoying herself by shooting people. Shera laughed amusingly but stopped when she realized she was out of bullets. “Oh crap,” she said disappointedly as she dropped the gun back on the soil. She turned at Jocasta “Well that was fun,” she placed her hands on her hips.

Jocasta grinned “You did pretty good there, Shera,” she said before she picked the gun from the soldier she’d knocked over and she handed it back at the rocket scientist “Keep yourself safe, alright?”

“Aye-aye, Professor Ernchester!” Shera said giving her a playful salute.

Jocasta laughed “Call me Joe,” she said, before she approached the team that had just finished dealing with their opponents.

“Cid, Vincent, Jocasta, and I will head into the Rocket and try to stop it. Tifa, Yuffie, Cait, Barret, and Red, you guys keep the scientists and the townsfolk safe from Shinra,” Cloud said and the team nodded before they set off to do as they were asked.

Only Tifa stayed back and placed her hand on Cloud’s shoulder, stopping him. “Wait, I want to come with you,” she said and at that Cloud turned and looked at her.

He shook his head “No. You stay here. We’ll be right back,” he knew he wasn’t really good with reassuring somebody, but they had no time. Tifa’s hand reached for his and he laced their fingers together.

“Promise me. Promise you’ll come back safe… please,” Tifa pleaded worriedly as her fingers tightened around his.

Cloud’s eyes found her doe-brown ones. He knew he _couldn’t_ guarantee it, but he knew the least he could do was promise. They always had that connection between them. _Cloud and Tifa._ Everything he had ever done, he had done it for her, and he knew she’d do _everything_ for him too. Only _now_ did he know, that he _had_ to make it back. _Back to her._ Because if he didn’t have her, he didn’t have anything. 

Cloud nodded and his fingers tightened around hers before he forced himself away from her and followed the others.

Cid led the way towards the rocket and the other three followed hastily behind. Vincent shot a soldier that was coming their way. Jocasta threw an arrow at another soldier and Cloud sliced another with his sword. The team finally entered the huge piece of metal and machinery dealing with soldiers and Shinra’s technicians.

“You again!”

A husky voice came from behind and everyone turned around seeing another Turk. Jocasta could only guess he was one from his formal attire. He was bald, wearing pitch-black sunglasses. He must have been quite muscular beneath that pitch-black jacket and white shirt. 

“Who the fuck’s that asshole!?” Cid asked as he grabbed his spear and got in his stance.

“Rude,” Cloud answered and he seemed to recognize the man. Perhaps the team had encountered the Turks before Vincent, Cid and Jocasta joined them.

Rude whipped out his electric rod and attacked them with the two SOLDIER troopers that escorted him. Jocasta shot an arrow on the one soldier that tried to shoot towards Cloud. Vincent shot the other soldier and Cid with Cloud attacked Rude.

Rude dodged their attacks with his rod and hit them whenever he got his chance. Cloud casted a Firaga spell, that he wasn’t able to dodge as he was busy dodging Vincent’s bullets, Cid’s and Jocasta’s attacks. Rude was knocked down and the team followed Cid as he hastily led them towards the bridge of the rocket.

Cid entered the bridge first. He recognized immediately all the engineers that stood on top of the control panels. They turned around as they seemed to recognize him as well.

“Captain!”

“You came back!”

“Guys! The fuck you doin’?!” Cid demanded.

“Shinra wants to crash our rocket with Meteor. It’s filled with Huge Materias and the energy that’s gonna burst in the air is gonna be catastrophic for the Planet if we-”

“We know,” Cloud cut him.

“Shinra’s only gathered three Huge Materias. Thinking they were not enough they’ve also loaded Mako Bombs,”

Cloud turned at Jocasta “Should we recover the Mako Bombs too?”

Jocasta shook her head “No. Unleashing Mako energy on the atmosphere of a Planet who’s been Mako-deprived, isn’t going to cause much harm. Not as much harm as the Huge Materias will,” she explained.

Cloud nodded and he turned at the engineers “We need to stop this Rocket,”

“We also need to stop Meteor,” Vincent reminded him, and everybody’s attention fell him.

“Vincent’s right,” Jocasta said “From the looks of it, it’s too large, and the moment it crashes on the Planet, it’s going to wipe us out,”

Cid groaned angrily when he realized she was right. They’d have to destroy the rocket in order to stop Meteor “Fuck! Alright then! Listen, you guys scatter around the rocket and gather the Huge Materia. We’re gonna let the Rocket hit Meteor and we’ll escape via the escape pods,”

Cloud nodded “We’re gonna have to split up. Vincent, Jocasta, you two look for one of the three…” he turned at the engineers and he pointed at two of them “…you two go find the other. You come with me to look for the third one,” he pointed at the last one engineer who nodded, and then he turned at Cid “Will you be okay with piloting that thing?”

“Of course, I’mma fuckin’ be! I built 'er!” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The moment Jocasta and Vincent searched the rooms filled with mechanic contraptions, the entire Rocket started shaking. Vincent instinctively reached for her, to keep her safe should anything dangerous were to happen. Jocasta’s hands reached for his and she clutched on his sleeves as the Rocket kept shaking. She turned her attention at the thick glass of the tiny window and she let go of Vincent as she pressed her hands on the cold metallic walls and stared outside.

Her jaw dropped when she realized they were actually _leaving_ Gaia as the Rocket started flying _fast._ She gritted her teeth. “Fuck!” it was her only reaction.

The two of them turned at the sound of Cid’s familiar voice coming loud from the bridge.

_“NO FUCKIN’ COUNTDOWN?! ARE YOU FUCKIN- IT’S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT IT!!”_

He sounded pretty pissed, and before Jocasta had the chance to comment anything about it, Vincent spoke as he pointed at the machines nearby “There it is,”

Jocasta turned her attention at the Huge Materia. It was a red glowing orb, but bigger than any other Materia she'd ever seen. She hurried towards it and she placed it into her bag. Then she turned at Vincent and they nodded at each other before they headed back to the bridge where Cid was.

Cid was sitting on the chair, satisfied that finally his dream had been realized. But he didn’t seem to be piloting it at all.

“Cid! What’s wrong?” Jocasta asked.

“Nah, some dumbass fixed the auto -fuckin- pilot and Shinra’s controlling the Rocket from their HQ,” Cid said and then he sighed blissfully “But I finally made it into space,” he snapped off the chair and his fingers worked over the levers and the buttons “Let’s see how’s the course set- AH FUCK-”

“Cid! We got them!” Cloud cried out as he and the rest of the engineers returned with the Huge Materias stuffed in their pockets.

“Good, kid! ‘Cause we gotta get the hell outta here! We’ll be crashin’ onto that Meteor faster than I expected!” Cid cried out before he hurried outside the bridge.

The team and the engineers followed him down the slim corridors as he led them towards the escape pods. Cid turned at his engineers as they ran and he asked.

“Who the fuck fixed the motherfuckin’ autopilot!? Was there anybody else with you guys?!”

“Shera!” One of them shouted.

“WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE!? WHY DID SHE PICK TODAY TO FIX SOMETHING FAST-”

Jocasta cut him as she placed a hand on his shoulder and they stopped running “Don’t worry, we’ll find her!” she turned at the engineers “Where is she?!”

“The oxygen tanks, this way!” One of them shouted and he led them into another room. The team walked up the ladder and they finally reached the oxygen tanks. Shera was there. She had knelt over one of the huge tanks. She stood up on her feet when she noticed the others being there. She approached them with wide eyes.

“Cid, listen-”

“What the fuck, Shera?! C’mon we gotta get the hell outta here!” Cid cried out as he grabbed her arm and started dragging her out of the room.

The entire rocket shook making them all search for the walls for support. Shera fell back on the floor and Cid reached out for her. Jocasta’s back hit the wall, forcing a gasp out of her and then she fell back to her knees. She pushed her weight onto one knee as she got up. A large pile of metallic debris came onto Cid’s way. Jocasta’s instincts kicked in and she pushed him out of the way. She felt the cold metal hitting on her back with its weight pinning her on the floor face down. Jocasta let out a cry of pain as it spread all around her shoulders and her back. Her hands fisted against the floor and she tried to pull herself up but the debris were too heavy even for somebody like her.

“Fuck! Joe!” Cid cried out as he hurried towards the rubble and he tried to push the debris off.

Vincent and Cloud were already there. Vincent’s heart hammered loudly against his chest and he put all the strength he had to pull the rubble off of her. Watching that expression of pain, the sound of her cry, her struggle beneath that pile of metal that would have had shattered the bones of a normal person.

Once the three took the debris off, Vincent hurried towards her and offered his hand for support. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up. The moment she tried to stand on her feet, she let out a cry of pain as her one leg bent down again. The pain spread over her knee and her hands immediately clutched on to Vincent for support.

Vincent wasted to second further, and he picked her up bridal style. She wouldn’t be hard to carry. He just wanted to stop seeing her in pain. The painful expression wore off her face. Her fingers clutched on the straps of his shirt as she met his worried gaze with hers. His hands shifted her closer, making sure he was holding her steadily and that there was no way she could fall.

“Are you okay?” Vincent asked worriedly.

Jocasta winced “Just a shattered bone, that’s all,” she tried to be reassuring, but she _wasn’t._

And then the alarms of the Rocket resounded along with the announcement from the computer.

_IMPACT IMMINENT. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY._

“Fuck!” Cid cursed.

“We gotta go!” Cloud cried out as he turned around and started running towards the escape pod.

Shera and Cid hurried over the controls of the escape pod. Vincent with Jocasta in his hands, they were the last to enter, before the metallic door was sealed behind them.

Shera pushed up a few levers, activating its engines, switching up the lights of its controls. Her fingers worked skillfully on the keyboard of the computers “I’m gonna detach the pod,”

“Shera, are you sure this fuckin’ old bunker’s going to work?!” Cid asked as he pressed a few buttons on the other console.

“It will! I’ve been checking it up until now,” Shera reassured him and she turned at the others “Everybody buckle up! There should be enough seats for all,”

Vincent placed Jocasta on one of the seats and she immediately grabbed the belts around her. So did the others and they clutched on their seats before the escape pod was detached and it jumped off the rocket. Cid’s hands reached for the cold glass as he watched his ship heading towards its destruction.

“Goodbye, No. 26…” then he turned his attention at the vastness of space that spread around them as the magnetic field of Gaia started to slowly drag them back to the Planet. “Ah man… outer space… I finally made it,” Cid mumbled to himself, in utter satisfaction, ignoring the quaking that had started taking over their pod as they approached Gaia’s atmosphere.

He settled back down to his seat and buckled himself up as they all watched the Shinra No. 26 finally crushing onto Meteor. The impact brought a huge wave towards their pod, blasting it closer towards the Planet. A green explosion followed afterwards, caused by the Mako bomb that the rocket was carrying. But after the glow wore off, the damage made on Meteor was _minimal._ Only a part of it was broken into smaller bits that were still going to be falling on the Planet.

The team looked at the scheme outside their pod. There was nothing but silence and the trembling of their pod as it entered the atmosphere. Flames engulfed the pod, caused by the friction of the air. They let out small cries of fear at the turbulence, and when it stopped, Cid let out a loud.

“FUCK!”

Because Meteor was still coming and there was no stopping it _now._


	44. Unexpected

Jocasta felt the faint touch of light over her eyelids and she began to stir. She drew in a deep breath as her hand reached for her forehead and she winced at the insistent ache that gathered there. She opened her eyes and she recognized the room she was in. It was her room in the Highwind. Her gaze slipped all around it before she remembered what happened.

She looked down at her leg which was wrapped in a tight bandage but she knew her fractured bones would have already healed. Sometimes she was grateful for injecting herself with all those chemicals back in the day. They worked wonders when it came to fixing wounds. But they weren’t as good as her perfected serum. The one she had used to fix Vincent’s bullet wound a few days ago.

She groaned as she reminded herself that Meteor was still coming. _How in the hell are we supposed to stop that?_ Even if the Huge Materias were in that rocket, Meteor was too large for any kind of _explosives_. Nothing could stop it.

And then she thought about Vincent. Was he okay? She only guessed that since she was there, they had made it out of that escape pod and the Highwind had come to pick them up from _whenever on Gaia_ they had landed. She had probably passed out when that happened.

Vincent and Jocasta hadn’t talked after that little _fight_ they had a few nights ago. So many things had been going on, they hadn’t gotten the time. Jocasta only hoped that blurting out like that about how much _Lucrecia had fucked up,_ hadn’t ruined _whatever_ they had between them. Jocasta sighed. _It probably has._ But was there _anything_ between them at all? She still wasn’t sure. But he hadn’t stopped being overprotective. He hadn’t hesitated to pick her up when she sprained her ankle and most possibly fractured her knee when that pile of metal landed on top of her.

She was grateful for that. She was grateful that he _was there_ no matter how _painful_ their _relationship_ could be. No matter their differences. _“You weren’t there, Vincent! You weren’t there to see what Hojo did…”_

Jocasta groaned as she recalled the memory of their fight. Her hand reached for her forehead and rubbed gently her temples. She knew he _couldn’t_ be there because he was suffering the torture of a specimen, tied in a lab. It wasn’t his fault that she had no one to help her back in the day, and it felt wrong giving him the blame. But she didn’t think before spilling these words out. Not when he still tried to excuse Lucrecia’s actions after everything she had done.

But maybe, she did have to apologize. She knew how much of a mess he was. She shouldn’t mess him up even more. She was supposed to be there for him just like he was for her. She nodded when she reached her decision. She was going to apologize the moment she’d see him.

Jocasta sat up and she started untying those bandages around her leg and her ankle. She moved her leg, finally free of the restraints, making sure that she felt no pain. She let out a sigh of relief when she felt no pain at all. Her chemicals had worked well on the bones and the tendons, though they take a little bit more time to fix these, unlike her perfected serum that could fix anything instantly. _Except for scars._ She had tried.

She tried to stand off the bed but then the door of her room opened and Tifa walked in with a tray in her hands. There was a mug of coffee and a plate with a sandwich. The mere smell of these made Jocasta’s stomach gurgle hungrily, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything for the past few days.

When Tifa saw her ready to stand up, she hastily set the tray on the bed beside her and placed both hands on Jocasta’s shoulders trying to keep her from standing.

“No, no, no!! Take it easy! Alford said you would need days!” Tifa said alarmingly, but she relaxed when Jocasta settled back down.

Jocasta chuckled “A normal person would take weeks. Don’t worry about me though,” she reassured her.

Tifa nodded as she settled on the chair beside the bed “Right. Still, I brought you something to eat. Figured you’d be hungry,” she said as she gave her a smile.

Jocasta smiled at her “Thanks, Tifa…” her hands reached for the tray, and she settled it on her lap. She grabbed the sandwich, taking a bite “…so, what’s our status?”

Tifa sighed “The same. It’s only a matter of hours till Meteor arrives. Cloud’s working on a plan though. He’ll let us know by the afternoon,” she said, and the moment Cloud’s name slipped from her lips, her eyes shined with hope and she smiled.

Jocasta nodded as she savored the crusty bread. For all she knew, that sandwich was going to be her last, _at least lemme enjoy it._ But that smile on Tifa’s lips didn’t fade and Jocasta couldn’t help her curiosity.

“So… You and Cloud… are you guys, like, together or something?”

Tifa’s cheeks got bright red as she nervously shifted in her chair and that smile on her face immediately faded. She let out a sigh “I- it’s complicated,”

Jocasta made a hum of acknowledgment and her hand reached for the mug of coffee “It always is at the start. But no worries. You guys have been together for quite some time,”

“Yeah but…” Tifa sighed sadly “…Aerith’s… death did a number on him. On all of us actually,”

Jocasta swallowed down that sip of coffee with quite some difficulty when Tifa spelled out _her_ name. _Aerith._ She felt the weight of another life that she had failed to save. Jocasta had already lost so many people that she cared about. Learning how to deal with that, was almost becoming a habit. She would just _ignore, avoid_ and she would move on with her life _because it hurt less that way._ But ignoring wasn’t changing what happened. She had failed _again._

**_You just keep failing._ **

_You’re really not helping me._

**_I’m not here to help. I’m here to make you miserable, you filthy human._ **

_You’re such an asshole._

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” Tifa tried to say as she noticed Jocasta’s gaze focusing blankly on somewhere around the room as she fell silent. But Jocasta cut her.

“No, it’s alright,” Jocasta sighed as she took another heavy sip of her coffee. She chuckled bitterly. “I’ve lost so much…” and then that fear crept back to her. They were at the endgame _now._ Anything could happen “…what if I lose Vincent too…” she wasn’t sure why she said that out loud, but she knew that Tifa would sympathize.

“So, are you guys too-”

“Also complicated,” Jocasta said sighing.

Tifa chuckled bitterly “They are so hard, aren’t they?”

Of course, Tifa would know what’s like to _try to date a guy who’s mentally depressed a hundred percent of the time and is still crushing over his dead girlfriend._

“I know right! Like, what’s with all the-”

“Do I hear some girl-talk in there?!”

Jocasta groaned at the sixteen-year-old’s voice as she barged into her room and jumped beside her onto her bed. Yuffie rested her elbow on Jocasta’s shoulder and she turned at Tifa.

“Please tell me you weren’t eavesdropping,” Jocasta said as she shot Yuffie an irritated look.

“I don’t think me eavesdropping you guys talking about your love-lives is that important,” Yuffie said.

“Kinda is,” Tifa said.

“Y’all know what _complicated_ means? It means you guys are gonna marry your mentally unstable mans, and you’re gonna have babies,” Yuffie said simply and both Jocasta and Tifa were too unable to keep themselves from blushing.

“Well, genetically speaking, I can’t have _babies_ as far as I know…” Jocasta thought about it for a moment but then she groaned and she jumped back at the subject “…-ugh!- Yuffie! That’s kinda none of your business,” she said as she slapped the young girl’s hand off her shoulder.

“Oh c’monnnn!” Yuffie turned at Tifa looking for approval “Teeeefsss!”

“Jocasta’s right,” Tifa said and Yuffie groaned irritatingly “Fine!” she got up and she headed towards the door. She walked out with a frown on her face. 

Jocasta sighed as her hand rubbed the insistent ache on her forehead. _I fuckin’ hate teenagers._ And it was true. When she was a teenager, all she would do was _study._ She never actually had any friends, because she couldn’t bear the kids her age back then. Jocasta Ernchester never cared about friendships, not to mention _relationships_. She only cared about establishing a career, making discoveries to help in the betterment of the world. _And now_ Hojo used whatever she had given him - _so openhandedly_ because she had no choice- to worsen the world.

Tifa got up, she picked up the tray with the empty plate and the empty mug and she walked towards the door “I should probably let you get cleaned up. The team’s gonna gather at the bridge in a few hours to talk about our next step,” she said giving Jocasta a smile.

Jocasta returned the smile and she stood up “Thanks again, Tifa,”

“No problem, Joe,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

After a shower and a change into a new pair of clothes, Jocasta walked out of her room and she walked around the corridors of the Highwind. There were a bunch of people walking around. The crewmembers of the massive ship, passed saluting her and she returned it with a smile and a nod before she finally reached the bridge. She recognized the unending chatting of the crewmembers that were standing over the controls.

Cid was holding the rudder, giving orders. Cloud, Tifa, Barret and Red were standing by the corner, talking. Yuffie wasn’t anywhere around so Jocasta guessed she was passing through a vomit-soaked agony that Jocasta noted to herself that she had to deal with later. Vincent was standing by the corner. His back rested against the metallic wall behind Cid. His hands were crossed against his chest, and his gaze was focused on the floor, always deep in thought.

“Lassie! Yer awake!” Cait’s voice came as she felt the robotic cat, hopping from his mog to her shoulder. She turned her head to give him a smile, but Cid’s voice caught her attention as he let out a loud laugh.

“How’s your leg, dramaqueen!?” Cid asked as he looked at her and Jocasta settled beside him.

“Good,” Jocasta said, but her attention fell at the large window in front of them. Meteor was closer than ever. It was only a matter of _hours now._ “I’m sorry I can’t say the same about this Planet,” Jocasta said.

Cid groaned “Fuck yeah, we’re fucked. Spiky said he’s got some plan. It better fuckin’ work or we’re all fuckin’ dead,”

Jocasta couldn’t say she didn’t agree. It was exactly as Cid had said it. _We’re fucked._ Meteor looked like it was going to fall nearby Midgar, and there was no doubt that Shinra and everyone else who lived there, had been panicked. They all were _actually._

Cait hopped on Cid’s shoulder and they started chatting. Jocasta would have caught up on their conversation, but she felt a hand on her back that made her turn and look at who it was. She wasn’t expecting it to be Vincent. Not after that _small_ fight that they had a few nights ago. So many things had occurred in between, but Jocasta had _insulted Lucrecia,_ and _insulting Lucrecia_ means that she was probably on his blacklist. Nevertheless, Jocasta had noted to herself to apologize, and that was the first thing that she did.

“Vince-”

“Jocasta, I-”

She couldn’t deny how _wrong_ and _awkward_ this was. Both started to talk, in unison, in the same second, but they cut themselves waiting for one another to continue what they had to say. Jocasta noticed him pursing his lips as he waited for her to talk first.

“Vincent, I just… I just wanted to apologize for what I said a few nights ago. It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t protect me, or Sephiroth, back in the day. I shouldn’t have thrown that blame on you. I- I just blurted out. I wasn’t thinking when I-”

“Jocasta,” the sound of her name coming from him, shut her from saying any word further.

His right hand found her face. The warmth of his palm spread on her cheek, and his thumb brushed over her skin. Those crimson eyes found hers. She didn’t know how long she had been passed out, but she knew she had _missed_ staring right at them. Why was his hand on her cheek? Why was he staring at her like that? Jocasta didn’t know.

She didn’t even know how to ask. She felt her lips trembling as she tried to say a word, but nothing came out. She knew she should probably fend away. Because she knew that _this,_ it still didn’t mean anything. Were they using each other? Was he using her? She didn’t know. She just knew that she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. She felt completely numb, completely powerless, and he hadn’t done anything. He was just cupping her face and his eyes stared down at her in _wonder?_ Relief? Why was he doing this to her?

“You’ve been passed out for two days. I’ve been worried,” Vincent said in genuine worry, and she could see that.

Why else would his hand cup her face like that? His eyes were surrounded by these dark circles of exhaustion. He hadn’t slept. He had refused to return back to his nightmares. Vincent had been keeping an eye on her for as long as she had been passed out, but he had also tried to give her some space. He had taken the two days to think. _Think._ What was he thinking about? She didn’t know. He still had that unreadable expression on his face, with a faint touch of a little bit of _desire? Want?_ She couldn’t say. She couldn’t _read_ that man.

But her assumptions were proven correct when he kissed her. It was desire indeed, and it lit a fire in her soul. His hands were around her, clutching on her shirt and pulling her close. She didn’t pay as much attention to his hold on her, as much as she did at the kiss. His fingers spread around her neck, beneath her ear, keeping her head in place. He was afraid for a moment that she was going to pull away. But he didn’t know what came over him. It was so unlike him to _just kiss_ somebody like that. Maybe he used to do it with Lucrecia so long ago, but _now_ he didn’t know why he was kissing her.

He just knew that he was worried, and those two days without her had been longer than the thirty years he’d spent on his own. That painful cry she let out, when the debris crashed on her legs and her back, was still loud in his ears and he knew he _had_ to convince himself that Jocasta was _unbreakable_ physically, just like he was. They were both enhanced specimens that could endure anything, but he still couldn’t stop _worrying_. The thought of losing her was _terrifying,_ and he didn’t know why he felt that way. Neither did he know what they had. He just knew that he _wanted_ to kiss her, even though, he wasn’t sure if he tasted Jocasta or _Lucrecia_ when he did.

Jocasta did not pull back. Her hands reached for his face, but stopped by his collar and her fingers brought him closer to her as they tugged on it. She was so surprised when he _kissed_ her just like that out of nowhere. That faint touch of hope was restored. Was he actually feeling something for her? Or he was probably messing with her again? She knew it was probably the latter, but she didn’t _care._ She didn’t want him to stop _messing with her._

 _What are you thinking?!_ She scolded at herself mentally. Was she just gonna let him _use_ her? Could Dr. Jocasta Ernchester _fall_ so low? For Vincent Valentine, _yes._ She would, and she knew it, and she hated herself for that.

But all these thoughts were instantly wiped when she realized he had pulled back and his eyes found her. She met them and her thumb found his cheek. She parted her lips to talk. They were still wet from the kiss and she could still feel his taste on her tongue and it drove her _insane._ She wanted more of it, but she knew she couldn’t ask him for anything more.

“Now that’s SOME worry,” Cid teased with a laugh.

Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Red had stopped talking and were staring at the two in surprise. _Well,_ Barret was more _disappointed_ than surprised. Tifa was smiling, and Cloud was just… _surprised._

Cid turned at Barret and he lent his hand over “Two-hundred gil, dumbass! Told ya they’d kiss!”

Barret groaned as his hand reached for his pocket and he walked towards Cid to hand him the money “Should’ve betted boldly,” he mumbled and Cid laughed amusingly as he settled the money in his pocket.

Tifa shot them both an incredulous look. She smacked Barret’s hand and she shot him a deadly look “I cannot believe you two! Can’t you try to be a little bit more mature?!”

“Uh…” Barret scratched the back of his neck awkwardly “…sorry, Tifa.” He said apologetically. And then he groaned “I owe Yuffie two hundred more,”

“Did somebody say my name?!” Yuffie’s voice came as her energetic figure hurried towards the bridge. She was holding a bucket in case she’d have to puke again. Then surprise hit her face as she jumped and threw a fist in the air “OH MY- DID THEY KISS?! DID I MISS THAT?!”

Vincent and Jocasta just couldn’t say anything. They just stared awkwardly at their friends _making it a big deal._ Jocasta was so sure her face looked like a tomato. She turned at Vincent to check on his reaction, but he looked quite _indifferent._ Or maybe she could say if he was blushing or not if he wasn’t hiding his face behind that collar.

“Alright…” Yuffie stuffed Barret’s money in her pocket and she turned at the other two “…the only thing that’s left, is make babies,”

Jocasta facepalmed and groaned “Shut the FUCK-”

Cid chuckled “Imagine havin’ lil' vampies runnin' around,”

“I know right! I’d be such an awesome aunt!” Yuffie said excitedly.

“Cloud, how about we discuss on our next move,” Vincent said changing the subject and Jocasta couldn’t even _express_ how grateful she was for him doing that.

Cloud nodded and he turned at the rest of the team that was gathered there “Rufus’s plan failed, and I got to admit, even though we’ve been getting in their way, I hope it would work,” Cloud admitted.

Barret scratched the back of his neck “Me too, kinda,”

“Do yer think we were makin’ some big mistake by takin’ the Huge Materias off the rocket?” Cait asked.

Jocasta shook her head “No. I don’t think things would have been any different even if we had let them on the rocket. Meteor is too massive for any kind of explosives,”

“But these were Huge Materias. A bunch of Materias condensed together. What can be stronger than that?” Tifa asked confusedly.

Jocasta sighed “I can’t say. But still, if that energy was unleashed in our atmosphere, the consequences would be severe on so many levels,”

“Still, it makes me worry. What if we’re the ones who doomed the Planet?” Red asked.

“Ugh, we have no time to worry, we have to think!” Tifa said.

“The girl’s right. You start worryin’ and there’s no stoppin’ it,” Cid said.

“There’s already no stopping it! If that thing crashes on Gaia, from its size, it’s going to wipe us out instantly!” Jocasta cried out.

“Well, you’re being pretty damn optimistic!” Barret said sarcastically.

“How can I be optimistic!?”

“We’re all gonna die, aren’t we?!” Yuffie cried out in panic.

Then a loud scream reached everybody’s ears. It came loud and piercing for a prolonged moment. The engineers on top of the control panels flinched in their positions. Their hands reached for their ears, to shield them from the loud scream that nobody knew where it came from. Jocasta jumped in her position. She felt Yuffie hiding behind her. Jocasta threw a protective hand on the side over the young ninja as her gaze searched all around them for danger.

Tifa was clutching on Cloud’s shirt, Barret was cocking his gun and Cid was already at his crew, sending people to check around the ship for the source of the scream. Vincent too flinched in his position and he instantly turned to make sure that Jocasta was safe. Yuffie was clutching on her grey cape when the scream stopped.

“Did you guys hear that?” Red asked, still tense, remaining in a cautious stance.

“What the hell was that?!’ Barret cried out.

“No fuckin’ idea, but I already got ma men to search around the ship,” Cid said.

“Could it be Meteor? The Planet?” Tifa asked.

“How do we even know it was a scream?!” Yuffie asked, still shook from it.

“It sounded pretty damn similar to one,” Cid as he returned to grab a hold on the rudder.

“Hey! Remember what Bugenhagen told us?” Tifa asked turning at Cloud.

“Bugen- What?” Jocasta asked.

“Red’s grandpa,” Barret said.

“Ah, he talks too?” Cid asked.

“He’s a two-legger like you. We’re connected by the Planet,” Red said and Jocasta fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Right,” _that doesn’t sound realllllyyyy scientifically possible, but okay._

“That’s what I was thinking. Maybe visiting Bugenhagen is a good idea. He’ll know what to do next,” Cloud said.

Tifa nodded “Alright. To Cosmo Canyon it is,”

Cid nudged at his trainee pilot to approach him and get a hold on the rudder “Set a course for Cosmo Canyon, will ya?”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Cid and his trainee pilots had a hold on the rudder in shifts. It was _now_ Cid’s turn, and Jocasta was still around the bridge. She couldn’t help but stare at the bright Meteor that was still in the sky. Its surface was burning on by the friction of Gaia’s atmosphere as it approached closer and closer. She couldn’t help but wrap her hands around her middle and stare biting her lip.

The rest of the team were resting as night was nearby and they still needed a couple of hours to reach Cosmo Canyon. The sun had started setting, with a brilliant mixture of purple and the Meteor’s bright yellow. It looked beautiful yet terrible all the same. No matter how many times she had wished to _die,_ Jocasta didn’t _want_ to die. Not _now_ that she had found Vincent.

 _Vincent._ What was going on between them? What was that kiss? Worry? Need? Jocasta sighed. Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. The world was going to end. Maybe he wanted to get that closure to someone before it _does end_. She didn’t know where he was _now_. Probably somewhere around the ship thinking of _Lucrecia. Definitely._ Jocasta didn’t know why _it hurt_ so much. But she had admitted it. He _wasn’t hers. And he’ll never be._ She reminded herself and she let out a loud sigh.

“Whatchu broodin’ all about? Shouldn’t you be with your man?” Cid’s voice came from beside and she turned her attention at the cranky Captain.

She grinned “He’s not my man,”

“Nah, Joe, when you were snoozin’ those two days, guy’s been so tense and worried. Never seen Vinnie like that, I tell ya!” Cid said.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “Really!?” _Of course! Kissing you like that wasn’t enough convenient!?_ She cringed for even being surprised. But she couldn’t help it. It was _so unlike Vincent_ to be worried about anything else _but Lucrecia._

“Huh?! You dumb?!” Cid said as he shot her an incredulous look.

Jocasta sighed “It’s just… he’s still brooding over my sister,”

“Fuck that bitch! She dumped him for that son of a bitch who’s fucked up the world!” Cid cried out angrily as his hands reached for his pockets to grab his pack of cigarettes.

“I know right!” Jocasta _wholeheartedly_ agreed. “Finally, somebody gets it!”

“Nah, he just needs time. But ya better be there for ‘im. I bet he’s one big softie,” Cid said as he puffed out his cigarette “Why don’t you go get some rest? We still got a couple of hours,”

Jocasta pursed her lips. He was right. Vincent did need time. He needed to sort things out and she was going to try her best and help him. _But how long could she wait?_ Forever. She was already a _dumbass_ for falling for him in the first place. She didn’t care how long it was going to take. She wanted him to be happy and if she could make him happy _by waiting,_ she would do it. They both had all the time in the world. _Considering we stop Meteor._

She nodded before she turned around and walked off the bridge and down the corridors of the massive ship. She wasn’t tired, but she knew Vincent was and she _had_ to be there for him. It was hard not to when she _loved_ him. Was it too early to say that word? She shook her head. _No._ It wasn’t early. It was _late_.

Maybe she had indeed felt an attraction even back when they spent those few months together. Back in the time when she was still a scientist and he was still her bodyguard. Only _now_ did she realize why she hated _so much_ to watch him leave. Why she had tried so hard to postpone quitting for Shinra. Because after _years_ of her own senseless brooding over her long-gone fiancé, she had actually gotten to smile back then. She had actually gotten to _stand_ strong because he _needed_ her to be.

They were friends back then but _now,_ she, _honestly,_ didn’t know what they were. She wished with all her might that one day he’d get to _love_ her just as much as she did. Just as much as he loved _Lucrecia._


	45. Confession

Jocasta walked towards Vincent’s room and her hand hesitated to open his door and walk in. Did he need her to be there? Or did he need _space?_ But she knew he was tired, and he wouldn’t be able to sleep with his nightmares. Not if she wasn’t there to keep them away. It was strange how that mere scientific fact, made them both _save_ each other from the midnight screams, and crying.

He sat up when the door of his room opened, but his shoulders relaxed when he saw that it was Jocasta. He felt relief when she hesitantly approached him, and he _knew_ he’d be able to _sleep now._ Because _she_ was there.

“I figured you might want to sleep,” Jocasta said.

Her fingers messed with her long sleeves unbeknownst to her, and he knew that _that_ was nervousness. After all these hugs and kisses. After all these nights that they had slept beside each other, there was still that _awkwardness._ That _tension._ She wasn’t completely _calm_ around him, and he too couldn’t be completely himself around her, afraid that he’d lose control over his beasts. She still hadn’t seen what he was capable of and he wished he could keep it that way. She would be scared of him if she ever saw what he really was, and he’d do anything so that wouldn’t happen because she’d _run away._ He didn’t know why he _didn’t_ want that to happen. He _needed_ her there. _With him_.

Vincent shifted his body letting some space for her to lie beside him. Jocasta unbuckled her cloak and she rested it beside his on a nearby chair. She slipped under the covers beside him. He passed his left clawed hand around her and his right hand reached for her waist, pulling her close. Jocasta buried her face in his neck and drew in his scent and she sighed. It felt so _good_ being close to him. Being held like that by him. It felt like there was no Meteor, no Shinra, no Hojo. The voices in her mind were instantly silenced and she focused on nothing but his heartbeat and the hold of his hands around her. She only wished they could stay like that forever.

It felt so _right_ and _wrong_ at the same time. They were still not really sure what _it_ was. What was that _thing_ that made them want to cuddle up like that? Vincent pressed his nose and his lips on top of her head, drawing in her scent and he let his tired eyes close and a second later he wished that he hadn’t, because all he saw was _her. Lucrecia._ She came back into his mind like a ghost and the problem was that he was _letting_ her.

“It’s alright,” Jocasta’s voice came and it _hurt._ Because these words meant that she knew what he was thinking. She knew that when he hugged her, kissed her, touched her, he was thinking of _her._ And he hated himself that he couldn’t _let her go._

Jocasta lifted her head to look up at him. He opened his eyes and he focused on her. Her lips were slightly parted, her grey eyes shined brightly in the dark as they found his. Her hand reached for his cheek and he savored every single little movement her thumb made on his skin. Her touch was so soft, unlike anything he’d ever known for the past thirty years. Her nose brushed against his as she gave him a warm smile.

“It’s alright,” she repeated.

How could she still say that when he was _using_ her like that? When the moment he’d touch her, he’d think of another woman?

“I can wait,” Jocasta said and he knew what she was talking about. Was she really hoping that he’d ever be able to _move on?_

Vincent shook his head “No… you deserve better,” he said and he knew he was saying the truth. He knew _what_ he was. He only _deserved_ to be looked at as a monster, because _that’s what I am_. No one was going to _love_ a monster, with scars all over his body. With a missing arm and those beasts that were forced to stay inside of him forever.

She shook her head “What I deserve I don’t think it matters anymore,” she said and he looked at her confusedly. Her eyes met his “I love you, Vincent,” she couldn’t keep these words back anymore. She wanted to let him know that there was actually someone out there who was _willing to love him._ Who was willing to _try._

But the surprise and the confusion on his face made her want to regret saying it out loud like that. He couldn’t help being _surprised_ and _confused._ Even though she knew that he was _using_ her, she _loved him? Why?_ Why would anybody think to _love_ somebody like _him?_ He thought that maybe she had misunderstood her feelings. There was no explanation as to _why_ she _loved_ him. She didn’t know either. She just wanted to be there for him. She wanted to hold him and let him know _that everything was going to be alright._ She wanted to see him _happy_.

Jocasta didn’t know why she felt that way, but she knew that sooner or later she’d have to _accept_ that she did. She knew she couldn’t be wrong. It couldn’t be that rush of emotions that would have made her misunderstand her feelings. She knew she meant it.

“I will fail you, Jocasta,” Vincent said. And it was true. Just like he had _failed to save Lucrecia,_ he was going to _fail_ Jocasta somehow. He was going to fail her because he _couldn’t love anybody else like that except Lucrecia._

“I don’t care,” She said and she meant it. She didn’t care if he’d never get to love her as much as she wished he would. “I’m here for you,” she chuckled bitterly “I know I sound hopeless. I am,”

It was still the first time somebody had told him they _loved_ him. It was the first time _someone_ showed him they _needed him._ Even Lucrecia had never said those three words no matter how many times he would. And _now,_ even in the _sorry_ state that he was, Jocasta said these three words _just like that,_ and it sounded like she _meant_ them. He wanted to _move on._ He wanted to _love_ her just as much as she did but he didn’t know if he _could._

Jocasta sighed as she let her eyes slide away from his. Her attention fell on his shirt as she bit her tongue and thought that _maybe this was a mistake._ Maybe she should’ve just shut her mouth and just let him sleep. But _how could he say that he’d fail her?_ She already knew what she was getting herself into when she said those three words. She couldn’t stop them. They were the truth, and Jocasta was never into hiding from the truth.

His hand reached for her face. He trapped her chin between his thumb and his index finger as he lifted her face and urged her to look up at him. And then he leaned in and kissed her. He didn’t know what drove him to kiss her _now,_ or what drove him to kiss her before at the bridge of the Highwind. He just knew he wanted to make it up to her. He didn’t want to _fail_ her even though he already knew she did not deserve somebody as _messed up_ as him.

She responded immediately. Her heart nearly jumped off her chest. Normally, she’d wonder what that kiss could mean. But she didn’t want to think of anything _now._ She wanted to focus on his lips as they trapped hers between them. She wanted to focus on his taste, his one hand that tightened around her, and the other that kept her head steady. He was still afraid that she was going to pull back. But she didn’t. She never would.

The sweet swirl of her tongue against his was _intoxicating._ And when she moaned in the kiss, all his fears were instantly wiped away. It let him know that she _wanted_ this, that she wanted _him._ His hand slipped away from her face and it slipped down her waist. He wanted her closer. He wanted her whole body pressed against his and he didn’t know why. His hand snaked beneath her shirt. Gloveless, warm fingers traced over the texture of her scars that lingered on her belly, her waist, her back.

He was so lost in that kiss, in those breathy moans that she left against his lips, that he hadn’t realized he was pushing her down. His weight pressed her against the mattress and her stomach fluttered. He settled on his knees. His hands kept him from crashing her. His hair fell on the sides and she wasted no time to tangle her fingers into them. She had to make sure he wasn’t going to pull away and deny what they both so much needed.

Vincent’s lips slipped away from hers and reached for her chin, her neck. He suckled on her skin there, showering her with wet kisses, making her fingers tighten in the roots of his hair. Her chest rose and fell in an erratic rhythm as his tongue and his lips left tiny nips on her sensitive skin.

Her fingers untied his bandana, tossing it away, and releasing his silky hair. But when her hands reached to unbuckle the straps of his shirt, it felt like he was waking up from a dream. It all came back to him. The scars that he hid beneath, the demons, and the beasts that could break out if he was going to let his guard down. Everything about him would harm her, and harming her was the last thing he wanted to do.

His hand grabbed hers stopping her from sneaking it beneath his shirt, and he pulled back. He looked at her parted, swollen lips, her eyes that were filled with desire. Her hair was a mess against the pillows. She was breathless and he was too. All those tense, _incredible_ emotions were already too much for him to handle. He was so used in his pain and his misery, that a faint touch of _light_ in all this… it felt so foreign and _unfamiliar._ His pain and his misery hurt less than the thought of _losing_ that _light._

He pressed his forehead against hers and his eyes found hers as both they took a moment to catch their breath. “I don’t want to hurt you-”

“Vincent-”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself either,” his thumb brushed against her wrist where those marks from the injections lingered there.

Injections that she’d done to herself in an attempt to hide her serums from Hojo. But she knew he wasn’t talking about that. He was talking about _her trying to save Sephiroth and getting herself killed in the process._ She didn’t know what to say as she stared up at him and her hand found his face. She wanted to promise that she wasn’t going to do that, but she knew she _couldn’t_ promise that. The last time she had given a fake promise nothing good turned out.

And _now_ she knew that _maybe_ if she _died,_ it’d be as painful to him as it’d be to her if _he_ died. “And I want you to let me love you,”

Vincent shook his head before he got off of her and lied back down beside her “I can’t do that,”

“Why?” She turned on the side so that she could settle back in his arms. Her head rested on his shoulder as her eyes gazed up at his and waited for an answer.

How was he supposed to explain it to her? How was he supposed to _admit_ that if she _ran_ away, disgusted of _what_ he was, that would be the _end_ of him? His hands tightened around her as he pushed her closer to him, and she sighed burying her face back in his neck. He pressed his lips and his nose on top of her head, drawing in her scent from her hair. She knew he wasn’t going to answer, so she closed her eyes and she let her hands rest on his chest.

“Let’s sleep,” it was the only response that she got.

She sighed heavily. She hated that he thought of himself like that. _A monster._ He was anything but a monster. _A monster_ wasn’t so gentle, and kind and considerate. _A monster_ wouldn’t blame himself for things that _weren’t_ his fault. She didn’t know how to make him _see_ himself in the way that she saw him. She wanted him to accept himself and his body just as much as she was accepting it. She knew that whatever lied beneath those clothes, wasn’t any worse than hers.

Jocasta just closed her eyes and clutched on him. _Time. He needs time._ She reminded herself. His breathing was slowly becoming rhythmical, letting her know that he had fallen in a much-needed sleep, but his hands were still tight around her. It seemed, that even in his sleep, he was still _afraid_ that she was going to leave. How could he even think of that? She couldn’t _leave_ even if she wanted to. She pressed a kiss on a pale scar on his neck and she nuzzled her face there.

“I’m not going anywhere,” 


	46. Weapon

They reached Cosmo Canyon in a few hours, and the team hurried over the small town whose streets were almost empty. Everybody was so frightened of the Meteor that was approaching their Planet, so they tried to spend the _last_ moments with their families. Thus, the town was silent and almost empty. Red frowned the moment he stepped foot on the barren lands of his home. It looked foreign at the sound of _silence_ that lingered on its streets. It was still at the earliest hours of the morning, but they had no time to rest. Not with the Meteor approaching closer each second. They needed to know what _must be done_ and they needed that answer quickly.

Vincent and Jocasta were awakened by Cid’s cranky voice and ruthless banging against Vincent’s door. Jocasta should admit that she wasn’t expecting herself to sleep. But it was hard no to sleep when Vincent held her like that. She had finally _confessed_ her true feelings for him, and he had kissed her. But he wasn’t letting her in. _Not yet._ She knew he needed time, and she was going to give it to him. She just wanted to see him being happy. _Nothing more._

The team walked within the silent town. Red walked first, leading them to his grandpa’s hut that rested no further away. They walked upstairs in a path surrounded by rocks and boulders, a rough terrain that Jocasta had only passed outside from when she wandering around Gaia those, almost, thirty years.

The old man wasn’t in the room that they walked in, so the team proceeded for another room that looked like a planetarium. The old man was there, with circular glasses resting over the bridge of his nose. He wore a purple cape, and a green shirt and pants beneath.

“Oh ho ho hoo! So glad to see you again, Nanaki,” the old man said as he stopped doing whatever he was doing and he turned his attention at the team.

“Nanaki?” Jocasta asked leaning over at Tifa.

“Red’s actual name,” Tifa whispered back and Jocasta nodded.

“You kids are welcome to ask for my wisdom anytime,” Bugenhagen said.

“Yeah, that’s why we came,” Cloud said.

“What to do? Have you lost your way? When that happens, we each have to take a good look at ourselves,” Bugenhagen said “There’s always something in the deepest reaches of our hearts. Something buried or something forgotten. Whatever that is, it must certainly be what you are looking for,”

The team fell silent for a moment as they thought _of what they were looking for._ It was a pretty good question actually. Jocasta took a moment to think of why she was there. _Well,_ she knew that the main reason was to _butcher Hojo if they were to meet him along the way._ But so many things had happened and Jocasta wasn’t even sure anymore. She hated to admit that she had actually _bonded_ with that team. She knew she couldn’t back off now even if she wanted to. The entire fate of the world rested in their hands because they were the only ones who willed to do something about it.

But there was more to it. She wanted to save Sephiroth. Sooner or later, she knew they’d have to face Sephiroth and she knew that _this team_ had no other intention but to _kill_ him. She was going to stop them. She was going to bring him back. _She needed to_ because, after all these years, she still loved that little boy she’d taken under her wing, back in the day. Jocasta had a new enemy now, and that wasn’t Hojo, nor Shinra. It was JENOVA. It was that wretched being that had landed on their Planet and caused destruction ever since. 

And still, there was more to it. She knew it when she turned and looked at Vincent. He seemed deep in thought, but he was looking at her. What was he thinking about? She didn’t know. Was he pondering on the same thing that she did? Was he _finally_ accepting her? She hated herself for how desperate she was for him to _actually let her in and love him._

“Naw can’t think of somethin’,” Cait’s voice snapped them both out of it.

“Can’t think of anything either!” Yuffie said.

“I think of Aerith… a lot,” Cloud said admittedly.

Everybody’s expressions softened as they stared down and thought about her. _Aerith. Aerith…?_ What was she doing? Jocasta’s eyes widened for a moment when she remembered. Aerith had been praying the last time they saw her.

“Aerith said that she was the only one who could stop Sephiroth’s Meteor,” Cloud said.

“The Prayers of a Cetra…” Jocasta mumbled as the realization hit her and everybody turned and looked at her “…the Scriptures of the Ancients. My sister studied them. There’s this Materia called ‘Holy’. To summon it, the Planet will have to hear to the prayers of a Cetra,”

“What does it do?” Cloud asked and Jocasta sighed and shook her head.

“I… I don’t know,” she admitted, and she was starting to regret not studying the Scriptures of the Ancients as much as her colleagues did.

“Is it possible for us to carry on what Aerith tried to accomplish?” Nanaki asked.

“We ain’t no Ancients if that’s what ya mean,” Barret said.

“What happened? Did that girl go to the Promised Land?” Cid asked.

“That’s it!” Cloud snapped as he seemed to have realized something.

“What’s it?” Cid asked.

“We don’t know about it,” Cloud said “But what did Aerith know? Why didn’t she run away when Sephiroth…?” he sighed, but he was making a good point.

“Maybe she found the Promised Land?” Tifa asked.

“Maybe dying was her plan all along. ‘Cause death isn’t the end, it’s just… a portal to another world. The Promised Land!” Jocasta clicked her fingers excitedly. It felt like she had just finished another successful experiment.

Cloud nodded “I know what we have to do,” he said and he turned at Bugenhagen again “There’s another favor I’d like to ask. We’re carrying Huge Materia and I’d like to keep them in a safe place,”

“Ho ho hooo! Then we’ll put it upstairs!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Uh, lads… I’ve got some bad news…”

The team had just returned into the Highwind and they were ready to take off to wherever Cloud was about to lead them. But Cait Sith’s voice drew everybody’s attention as they turned and looked at the robotic cat who pressed a button on his PHS.

“Shinra moved the Junon Cannon to Midgar,” Cait Sith said.

“What the hell?!” Cid cried out.

“Why?” Tifa asked.

“They’re plannin’ on using it to hit Sephiroth’s barrier. The Junon Cannon operates on Huge Materia, but all the Huge Materia were used on the Rocket Plan,” Cait Sith answered.

“And what are these bastards gonna do now?!” Barret asked.

“They’re gonna use all eight Mako Reactors to gather all the energy they’ll need to do that,” Cait said.

“But the concentration of the energy of eight Mako Reactors is going to destroy…” Jocasta tried to say as her hand found her mouth in disbelief.

“Midgar. It’s going to destroy Midgar,” Cait finished for her.

“What the hell no! Ma baby-girl’s there!” Barret shouted.

The entire ground started shaking. The alarms of the Highwind resounded as it took off the ground. A large monster came out of the ocean no further away from them, and the team ran towards the windows to take a look at it. It was huge. There was only one word that fitted the situation and Barret said it first.

“Fuck!”

The massive beast started walking towards Midgar’s direction. Cloud gritted his teeth “We need to stop it,” he said.

“You aren’t suggesting we go down there and face it head-on, are you?!” Jocasta cried out.

“I’m in!” Barret cried out as he cocked his gun ready for a fight.

“Are you fucking crazy?! What makes you think we can stop that beast?!” Cid cried out.

“Yuffie…” Vincent turned at the young ninja “…how many Materia do we got?” he asked.

“Enough, I’d say,” She said as her hand patted on her bag that hung from her shoulder and contained all their Materia.

“Then let’s go! If we take down that Weapon, Shinra won’t have to blast their cannon, and Midgar won’t collapse!” Tifa said.

Cid groaned “Alright!” he hurried towards the rudder and his hands grabbed it as he hastily landed the Highwind nearby.

The rest of the team hurried over the hatch that was gonna open the moment they’d land. Jocasta denied using the Materia that Yuffie offered her, and so did Vincent. They weren’t going to need them. Jocasta was going to let the _beast out._ She was going to let her demon out and let it do whatever _the hell_ it could.

_Hungry?_

**_You don’t even have to ask._ **

_You’ll help me right?_

**_No. But I’ve never eaten a Weapon before… So, yeah._ **

Jocasta groaned as she made sure she had her Sais and her daggers. None of them would be able to do a thing on the Weapon, but she had to make sure she at least had something to fight with. She stopped thinking when she felt a hand by her waist and she turned and saw Vincent. Crimson eyes pinned in hers.

“Stay in the Highwind,” he said firmly even though he knew she was going to refuse.

“No way! I can help you guys fight that thing. We’re a team,” Jocasta said.

He frowned “You’ll be safer here,”

“You don’t have to worry about me being safe. You haven’t seen my beasts, have you?”

“And you haven’t seen mine,”

“Vincent…” Jocasta turned as her hand slipped over his chest and she looked up at him “…I won’t try anything dangerous, okay? I’m just going to help,”

But it wasn’t just that. He needed her to stay there. In the Highwind she would be safe and he wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him being _like this._ Like that mindless, wild creature that had taken down a Weapon on its own back in Mideel. He didn’t want to frighten her just like he had frightened Cid, Barret, and Yuffie back then. He wasn’t _letting her in_ for a reason. For lots of reasons, _actually._

Vincent, though, was familiar with her stubbornness. She wasn’t going to back away from a fight because Jocasta _never ran away from anything._ Unlike him when he looked himself in a coffin for thirty years. He pursed his lips when he noticed the hatch opening and the rest of the team rushing outside. Jocasta turned around to start running and follow the others as they launched towards the Weapon, but Vincent’s hand around her waist was tight and pulled her against him.

He kissed her, and he didn’t know why he _needed_ to do that. Maybe he wanted to make sure that she _actually wanted him._ That she actually _wanted what they had_ and that him turning into a monster wasn’t going to scare her away from him. Jocasta moaned into the kiss as her fingers clutched onto his shirt and his gloved hand found her cheek. His tongue gave hers one last gentle swirl before he pulled back and looked at her. So love-struck she looked. It was unbelievable that there was someone out there who could look at him like that.

“Stay close to me,” he said and he meant it. _Close to him_ was the only way he knew she’d be safe. He knew _now_ that he had to make sure he controlled his beasts when they’d claw their way out on his skin.

Jocasta nodded and she tried to snap out of that kiss that she was still stuck at. “Always,” she reassured him before the two of them ran out of the Highwind and towards the Weapon.

It already looked like a battlefield outside, with Barret firing endless bullets that were doing nothing to penetrate its armor. Tifa and Cloud were casting summoning Materias, Nanaki was casting Firaga spells, and Cid with Yuffie were letting their own summoning Materias take care of the beast. Nothing seemed to be doing a pretty good job though. 

Cid’s spear came flying towards it, along with Yuffie’s Shuriken. Cloud sliced his sword over its feet, but still, that wasn’t enough. Vincent, at first, thought maybe using the thick bullets of Death Penalty, would be a good idea that he preferred over transforming into the Galian Beast or Death Gigas, or -in the worst-case scenario- Chaos. The demon’s ominous voice was already too loud in his mind as he started shooting at the beast.

He groaned. _Nothing._ The bullets were doing it nothing. He gritted his teeth as he fell on his knees and let _them out._ The growl of the Galian Beast blended with his voice as he transformed into the wild creature. His skin turned into one of a beast's, covered in hair, and his hands turned into paws with sharp claws that could cut through anything. His teeth turned into large fangs. The beast growled and launched towards the Weapon.

Jocasta was watching him all this time, and she _honestly_ didn’t feel fear. It was that same beast that had clawed its nails in her back, back when they were in Gongaga Village. But she didn’t feel scared. She knew Vincent was somewhere beneath it, and as he transformed into a monster, so did she.

She let out a scream as she felt the tight stretch of her skin and her bones, as she transformed into her own demon. Another mindless creature, with sharp fangs and nails that could penetrate anything. The team couldn’t help but stare surprised at the two beings that were their friends, as they launched towards the Weapon with their nails and their fangs, that penetrated its skin easily.

Jocasta’s demon was a dark mass that slithered all around, destroying whatever found in its way. She knew that she’d be exhausted when she would have to force that thing back into the depths of her mind, but she knew that her daggers and her Sais would be completely useless when it would come to fighting a _Weapon._

Nevertheless, her demon and the Galian Beast, savored on the Weapon’s flesh as they bite and clawed into it, making it shriek and writhe. The team stopped fighting for a second as they noticed that just Vincent and Jocasta were enough to take the thing down.

But the mindless creatures jumped off the beast when a large blast of light came its way. The Weapon turned around and started firing towards it, but whatever it fired at them, wasn’t enough to stop the green light, and when it reached the Weapon, it passed right through it, creating a large hole on its chest that made. The Weapon stopped fighting as it stood shocked there for a moment, with a large hole on its chest.

Vincent was on his knees as he tried to crawl his way out of his beast’s form. He caught back the control over his body, transforming back to himself. He tried to ignore the pain in his limbs as that happened, and he felt a hand gripping on his shoulder. He turned around and found Jocasta. She looked exhausted as she knelt beside him. She was panting hard, her eyelids were half-closed and a large cut was self-healing on her cheek.

“See…?” She said weakly as she cracked a smile at him and pressed her forehead on his shoulder. His hand reached around her. Weak fingers grabbed a hold on her waist, making sure that she wasn’t going to start running away from him, disgusted by the beasts that he carried. _Oh,_ but she didn’t. She was panting hard against his shoulder as her hands reached for his chest, for support. “That wasn’t that bad,” she said breathlessly, as she finally lifted her head and she looked at him. He too looked exhausted and breathless, but most of all, _relieved._ Relieved that _she was there,_ relieved that _she wasn’t running._

They grabbed onto each other, for support. They had to get out of there because the beast was about to crash them with its carcass. Vincent’s hands grabbed around her waist, as she supported herself on his shoulder and they hurried towards the Highwind that rested no further away. The team entered the ship and it took off immediately when the Weapon crashed on the terrain.

Jocasta’s fingers fisted on his shirt as the two of them settled back on the metallic floor of the Highwind. Cid must have already made his way to the bridge, and the rest of the team was still scattered around at the deck. Yuffie fitted her Shuriken on her back. She counted the Materias that were left in her bag as Cloud and Tifa hurried over the bridge. Barret started chatting with Nanaki, and shortly after, Yuffie, Nanaki, and Barret joined the others on the bridge.

They were moving again. The Highwind took off and Vincent and Jocasta took their moment to catch their breath, still drained of their energy from the transformation. Jocasta rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyes closed tiredly as his hand grabbed around her trembling body and brought her close, to press some of her weight against him.

She sighed against his shoulder “I’m a monster too, you know,” she said bitterly as her hand found his. The one with the gauntlet. She didn’t know why he was wearing it at all times, but she knew that there was more to it. He was hiding something beneath that metal.

Vincent pulled his left hand away before her fingers had the chance to examine anything underneath that gauntlet. He pressed his chin on top of her head. He found hard to believe that somebody like _her_ could be _a monster._ She was a doctor, she had strived her entire life to help people, and after everything, she was still trying to do that. And she was _there,_ beside _him,_ a monster worst than her wildest dreams. Even though she had seen him transform, she hadn’t seen what else he hid beneath and the fear of scaring her away still lingered there.

“No, you’re not,” Vincent said as she picked her face up and looked up at him. She smiled.

“Then you’re not either,”

He chuckled bitterly on that. _He was_ and she couldn’t convince him otherwise, because he’d see that _wretched_ body of his on a daily basis. But still, she tried to show him something no one had before. _Love. Belonging. Completion._ Was he actually feeling these? Did she actually mean it when she said that? Vincent just let his crimson eyes examine her face in _wonder_ because she was still _willing_ to _love_ him, even though he knew, that if he’d let her _inside,_ she’d chant him in disgust just like everyone _should._

 _I am_ he wanted to say. But he didn’t speak because he knew she’d turn it down and she would still stubbornly repeat that _he’s not a monster._

Vincent’s hands just tightened around her as he picked her up and settled her on his lap. Her cheek pressed against his chest and his hands tangled around her protectively. She smiled as she closed her eyes for a moment. She sighed _happily._ She was happy because she was _there_ with him and he held her like that, that made her stomach flutter and her heart jump off her chest. She didn’t know if he _actually_ agreed to her statement, or if that was just a notion of gratitude. She didn’t know and she didn’t care, she just wanted him to hold her like that forever.

And he knew that she was _okay_ and _safe, there_ in his arms. He didn’t know why he felt that _need_ to _know_ that she was safe, he just knew he couldn’t stop it. Was it love? _Could it be love?_

Was he really able to _stop_ thinking of _Lucrecia_ whenever he’d hold Jocasta? He didn’t know. All he knew, was that he was relieved that she was there and that she was safe. And he was going to keep it that way.

 _Yes._ He would. 


	47. Fear

A loud wave of energy shook the entire Highwind, that made Vincent and Jocasta look at each other before they finally fended off of each other and hurried towards the bridge where the rest of the team was. The crew was running all around the corridors of the Highwind, panicked to get some stuff done.

“WHAT THE FUCKIN’ HELL WAS THAT?!”

Cid’s voice came loud from the bridge, and when Jocasta and Vincent entered, Vincent asked “What’s going on?”

“Shinra’s next target was the barrier at the Northern Crater!” Cait Sith answered, panicked as well, as the robotic cat’s paws tightened around his PHS.

“Did they bring it down?!” Barret cried out.

Cait pressed the PHS in his ears “Aye!”

Everybody started cheering because the barrier was finally down and they would be able to face Sephiroth that had been hiding behind all this time. But Jocasta didn’t cheer, neither did Vincent. She wasn’t happy about it. She knew how much powerful Sephiroth could be, but if the team was to launch an attack on him, they’d kill him. Jocasta shook her head as she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. _No._ She was going to save him. She would find a way.

“Alright, we’ll head back to the Northern Crater. If that barrier’s down, Sephiroth’s still inside,” Cloud said and the trainee pilot nodded before he set the course for the Northern Crater.

Jocasta heaved a sigh “And then what? What are we gonna do once we get there?” She asked.

Cloud looked at her and pursed his lips. He knew that Jocasta was against _killing_ Sephiroth. Tifa had briefed him on the fact that Jocasta was the one who had raised him. _At least for the first three years of his life._

But still, he couldn’t comply to Jocasta’s wishes. He needed to end this. Sephiroth had taken out his hometown, butchered his mother, killed Tifa’s father, killed Aerith. He had betrayed Zack and him and everybody who believed in him. He couldn’t let all these, just _pass._

Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but Cait Sith cut him “Lads! I have a feeling you might wanna hear this!” he said as he pressed a button on his PHS and the voices that came from the speaker, drew everybody’s attention.

_“We can’t get in touch with the President!”_

“Forget about the President! Get to the Mako Cannon!” Cait Sith said, but his accent and his voice this time was a _lot_ more normal. It was probably the guy’s who was controlling him.

_“What’s up with you, Reeve?!”_

That sounded like Scarlet. Everybody nodded in acknowledgment as they finally figured out who controlled Cait Sith all this time. _Reeve._ The Director of Urban Development of Shinra’s.

“That doesn’t matter! The Mako Reactor’s output is increasing all by itself!”

_“W- wait a minute! That’s crazy! It has to cool down for at least three hours! Reeve! Shut it down!” Scarlet said._

“We can’t! It’s inoperable!” Reeve said, panicked “Somebody hacked into the system and overridden the mainframe controls!”

The Cait Sith dialed another number and put the speaker on so that everybody could hear. And then it came that _laughter_. A laughter that made Jocasta’s whole body shiver and her hands tremble. Her fists clenched so hard, her nails dug in the skin of her palm.

_“Just you wait, Sephiroth… I’m going to give you all the Mako power that you need…”_

Vincent’s eyes too widened and he gritted his teeth. _Hojo._

“Hojo! Stop! What are you doing?! If you blast that Cannon one more time, the entire Midgar will collapse!” Reeve cried out against the phone.

And then the mad scientist laughed again. It was that same laughed that haunted her dreams. It blended with her screams in her nightmares. Hers and Vincent’s nightmares. Something they had both _escaped_ from for the past few weeks. But he didn’t sound like he was alone. Another voice came from the PHS. The voice of a woman.

_“We’re in, Professor,”_

_“You’ve done well, my dear!”_ And then Hojo laughed again before he answered at Reeve’s cries _“Midgar’s a small price to pay. Sephiroth needs more Mako energy!”_

“Dammit, Hojo! YOU’RE IN MIDGAR!” Reeve cried out.

_“IRRELEVANT!”_

“HOJO!” but then Hojo turned off the call, and Cait Sith, even though a robot, seemed panicked as he turned at the others.

“Who in the fuck helps this guy!?” Cid asked.

“I don’t know. But he wasn’t alone,” Jocasta said as she bit her lip.

Reeve’s voice came from Cait Sith, and he sounded to be struggling as he was being dragged away “I’m sorry, guys. You’ll have to take it from here! Save Midgar! Please, I promise, I won’t-” and he was cut off.

Cloud’s fists clenched as he groaned. He knew that Sephiroth will have to wait. “Dammit! Cloud! We gotta get back to Midgar! My baby-girl’s there!” Barret cried out as he turned at Cloud, terrified.

“Jake! Set a course for Midgar,” Cloud ordered as he turned at the trainee pilot who grabbed the rudder and Cid finally approached the team.

“Even if we get ta Midgar, it’s under Martial Law,” Cait Sith said, “How are ye gonna slip through the slums?”

“Cait’s right, all transportation from the slums will be cut off,” Tifa said.

“Hey! Whaddya think we have the Highwind for?” Cid said “This baby’s got enough parachutes for everybody in ‘ere! We’ll jump from above,”

Cloud nodded “Alright! We parachute into Midgar!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The wind hit violently against their bodies as the team settled their parachutes on their bodies. Jocasta had to admit that she hadn’t done skydiving before, and jumping from a couple of meters high still didn’t sound like a pretty good idea _considering I haven’t done this before._

Despite Yuffie being airsick, the young ninja jumped first and the rest followed closely behind. Of course, Vincent, Cloud, and Cid had received some training, Barret and Tifa seemed to have done it before. Cait Sith settled on a double parachute with Nanaki and they jumped off the ship together.

Vincent noticed Jocasta’s hesitation as she took a look below them. She cringed at the distance between them and the massive City that spread beneath, and her fingers tightened around the railing.

“I- I can’t… I haven’t done this before…” Jocasta admitted as she took a step back, away from the railing.

Vincent took off his parachute and he walked towards a chest where the team had picked their parachutes from. He grabbed a tandem parachute. His hands reached her shoulders as he tied the tandem parachute around them both. Jocasta opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped when she realized what he was doing and she let out a loud sigh of _relief._

Their chests were pressed together as her hands were clutching on his shoulders. She watched his hands tying the buckles and straps of the parachute. She had to admit to herself that if he wasn’t there, she wouldn’t be able to jump off the ship.

“We’ll jump together,” he said, his hand wrapped around her and he urged them both to approach the edges. He knew that she was afraid of heights.

“N- no! W- wait!” Jocasta turned and looked over the height below them. She looked down at the City with terror as she counted the distance.

Vincent’s hand reached for her face, turning her attention away from what lied beneath. Her panicked, erratic breathing slowly slowed down when she turned her attention at him.

“Jocasta,” His thumb stroked her cheek as she let her eyes land on his. The feeling of her fingers clutching on his shirt, and that terrified expression on her face, let him know that she _needed_ him. She _needed_ him to make her feel safe. And he too wanted to let her know that he would, because for some _mysterious_ reason he knew he had no choice. “I’ll keep you safe,” he didn’t know how else to say it, but her expression softened and she let out a breath of relief “I promise,” he added, and he meant it, as he looked deep in her eyes and she nodded.

Jocasta buried her face in his neck as she shut her eyes. All she knew was that she was clutching on him and his hand was tight around her waist as he asked.

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah… Hey, Vince?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks,”

Vincent fought back a smile that threatened to form on his lips “Just don’t look down,” he instructed, and then they jumped.

Jocasta muffled a high-pitched shout that found her throat as she shut her eyes and pressed her forehead on his chest. She knew she didn’t have to be frightened. Not when she was _with him._


	48. Confrontation

When they landed on the City, the streets were a chaos of people running around, bumping onto each other. Shinra’s Police force was scattered around, trying to fix the mess that had been going on, too occupied to notice the team being there. Cait Sith said he knew how to lead them to the cannon without being detected.

Vincent and Jocasta, finally found the team, talking about their plan in the corner of a street. It felt so much different than Jocasta thought it would. She was finally going to _take_ her revenge on Hojo. Vincent too. A few months ago, all she’d think about was _butchering_ him, and _now… Now_ she just didn’t care. It was so _stupid_ to spend thirty years of her life thinking of nothing but revenge while she could be doing something _better. Anything_ would be better.

Maybe that change was because of Vincent. She thought that the only way to _move on_ was revenge, but _now_ she had finally a chance to _move on._ A real chance. _Sure,_ she was still going enjoy watching Hojo’s body yield to the cold steel of her freshly sharpened Sais. _Oh,_ she was going to enjoy it _way_ too much.

Vincent loaded Death Penalty with another pair of thick bullets as he spoke “So it is Hojo the one who stirred up this commotion. After all these years…” he chuckled bitterly.

He had been waiting for this moment for a _long time._ Thirty years he slept into that coffin, thinking of nothing but _how_ he was going to make that wicked scientist _suffer._ Just like he had made him suffer. The nightmares, the demons, the scars, the beasts. His loathing on his own self. All of these were Hojo’s doings. But he didn’t care about them as much as he did about what this man had done to Lucrecia.

He was the one who _manipulated_ her into an experiment that promised _her death_ and condemned her child into the treacherous life of a specimen. The life of a test subject, that Vincent and Jocasta knew all too well. Vincent turned at Jocasta and he watched her counting the arrows on her quiver before settling it on her back.

It was strange to think of how a man like Hojo -nay, a monster- who had caused so much pain to so many people, he could be taken down with a single arrow. With a single bullet from his guns. Hojo had created _so many_ monsters, but he was still a defenseless old man.

“I suppose you two are eager to confront Hojo,” Cloud said.

Vincent nodded and Jocasta said “That’s why we joined the team in the first place,”

Cloud nodded in understanding as he took a look at Meteor, which was closer than ever. The night sky, was no longer night, since that giant orb in the sky was engulfed in flames and it made sense that the City was this _chaos_ of panicked people trying to get desperately away from Midgar.

“Alright, Cait, you lead the way,” Cloud said and Cait nodded. Cloud turned at the others “I want you to evacuate the Sectors. As many people as you can, get them out of here. Cait, Vincent, Jocasta and I will go stop the Mako Cannon,”

The rest of the team nodded and they set off immediately to do as they were asked, but they didn’t get to walk much further away when the Turks showed up. Jocasta recognized the scarlet-haired man with the unbuttoned shirt, the bald guy they had beaten up in the rocket, and that short-haired blonde woman that they had met in Icicle Village. And of course, _Tseng._ Their director walked forward as he nudged his comrades to stand down.

“But, boss, our orders are to-”

“Fuck ‘em, Rude, the company’s fucked anyway,” Reno said.

“I agree. We must focus on the safety of the citizens,” Elena said.

“We’re going to evacuate the City,” Tseng said as he turned at the members of the team and Cait Sith walked forwards.

“Then do it, laddie! These lads are here to help too,” Cait said as he pointed his thumb at the team.

Tseng nodded. The rest of the team turned at Cloud, waiting to see if he _approved teaming up with the Turks_. It almost sounded _ridiculous_ but they had little time, and so many lives were at stake. Cloud nodded and the team joined the rest of the Turks down the street.

Cait Sith led Cloud, Vincent and Jocasta through the streets of Midgar. There weren’t lots of people to wherever he was taking them, but they did encounter Shinra’s infantrymen. They recognized Cait Sith and responded immediately to his orders.

It didn’t take more than a little climbing upon ladders and buildings, till they finally reached the top of the Mako Cannon. It looked huge, all made of metal. Shinra had moved it from Junon back to Midgar where it would use all eight Mako Reactors as an energy source since Shinra had already used its Huge Materia on the rocket plan.

When the four of them reached the top of the Mako Cannon, clouds had already gathered on the sky. They were so thick that they had even covered Meteor that still burned nearby. Jocasta smelled the dinitrogen in the air. It was going to rain. _Storm._ She corrected herself and then she turned her attention at the huge platform that spread in front of them.

A bunch of controls and computers where attached on the metal at the far end of the platform. Cait Sith hurried on top of his mog towards those controls. The flickering lights of the computer’s monitors were bright when the team reached them. And then she _saw him._ She saw the man that had destroyed her life. Hers and Vincent’s lives had become a constant torment because of him. He was the reason her sister had died. _And maybe a touch of Lucrecia’s stupidity brought her demise as well._ Even though Jocasta and Lucrecia weren’t blood-related, they had grown up like sisters, and they _loved_ each other like sisters.

But Hojo wasn’t alone. There was another woman over the computers. The _tap tap tapping_ of her skillful fingers on the keyboard was fast, and Hojo was merely observing her. There was something so familiar about her. She too wore her white lab-coat, on top of a blue shirt and a black skirt. Circular glasses, identical to Hojo’s, rested on top of her nose, and her long hair were wrapped back into a tight braid.

Her whole attention was absorbed by the computer’s screen as she did whatever Hojo asked her. But when Hojo’s attention fell on the four, that smile formed on his lips. It was the smile that Jocasta knew too well. It was that _manipulative, wicked_ smirk every time his cunning mind was up to something.

“Ah! The failure,” Hojo said, he was probably referring to Cloud as he drew out his sword and got in his stance.

“At least, remember my name!” Cloud cried out angrily “It’s ‘Cloud Strife’!”

“Failure?!” Jocasta growled as her hands tightened around her Sais. “Cloud Strife was your _only_ success. The only body that accepted Sephiroth’s cells,”

Hojo chuckled as he trapped his hands behind his back “Indeed. It pains me to admit that back then I had so little scientific sense. Even that other SOLDIER that I retrieved from Nibelheim. Remarkable specimen, but even _he_ failed,”

Cloud looked more surprised than ever. _Zack._ He opened his mouth to ask more questions but Hojo’s voice cut him as he started laughing.

“Dr. Ernchester and Vincent Valentine. It’s been such a long time my friends,”

Vincent targeted the woman that had been working on the computers tirelessly. “Stop this cannon, or she dies,” he threatened. His voice sounded harsher than ever. He had that look on his face. Cold, deadly. Jocasta knew she had that too when she grabbed her Sais and got in her stance.

Hojo, for once, frowned as the woman turned around and lifted her hands up in surrender. But then that smirk returned on his face and he spoke “Do you really want to kill your _beloved’s_ child?”

Jocasta’s stomach churned and twisted as the idea struck her mind. Her fingers trembled around the stems of her Sais. Her body felt numb as a cold drop of sweat rolled down her temple.

Vincent did not lower his guard. He knew that whatever came out of that man’s mouth was a lie. Words that meant nothing, their only purpose, to twist his victim’s minds and drive them insane till he got what he wanted.

“Father, what are you talking about?!” The woman turned and looked at him in surprise.

Jocasta gritted her teeth as her trembling hand reached for Vincent’s gun and she lowered it down slowly. Hojo laughed and that hatred for that man was restored in full force. But Jocasta felt too numb. Too shocked to think, to talk, to do something. _Anything._

“That’s right!” Hojo finally ceased his laughter for a moment “Your daughter, Jocasta. _Our_ daughter. Intelligent, elegant. Smarter. Far smarter than the two of us put together. Isn’t it brilliant?!”

Jocasta wanted to puke. She wanted to dig her fingers into her own skin and rip out her veins and die instantly. _He had done it._ Her worst fears had been realized. Hojo had fused her DNA with his own and there she was. _Her daughter._ She had a daughter all along and she didn’t even know it. She didn’t even know her name. She couldn’t even imagine what that child had gone through growing up under this madman’s wing. When Jocasta had imagined herself having children, she had imagined she’d be there, with them in every step of the way. _Not like this_. _This was madness._ It was sickening.

Jocasta’s hand clutched on her scar. That ugly scar that this… _this monster_ had created on her lower abdomen. She could still feel the pain. She could still listen to echoes of her own screams when his fingers and his lancets would dig deep into the fresh wounds and they drew out what he wanted, and he had used that to create _her_. Jocasta knew it was going to haunt her. It would haunt her forever in her nightmares, in her thoughts. The pain that came from her demons was nothing comparing to _this._

She could feel Vincent’s and Cloud’s piercing gazes as they fell on her. She could feel them digging through her skin, searching for _answers._ Vincent’s hand gripped tightly around the handle of Cerberus. His fingers clenched so hard he was sure they had started bending the cold steel of it. _What is going on?_ He knew better than to trust Hojo, but Jocasta’s trembling hands and her pale face, told him otherwise. Maybe that was that one time that Hojo didn’t lie.

What had he done to her? He didn’t know. But he could say it was something horrible. _Had he… touched her?_ That thought made him sick. She didn’t want _it_ whatever he’d done to her. Whatever that was, he had forced it to her and maybe that’s why his fingers clenched around the hard steel of his gun. That deadly expression was still on his face, even deadlier, as he raised his gun back up and he shot Hojo.

Hojo let out a cry of pain, and the woman’s eyes widened. “No!” she shouted as she knelt beside him and gathered Hojo on her lap. She started crying as her hand reached for Hojo’s. She turned at Vincent “What are you doing?! He’s the only one I’ve got!” she shouted before she turned back at Hojo who had his one hand clenched around the bleeding bullet wound.

Vincent, for once, he didn’t know how to react to that. He looked at Jocasta, who was still shocked. She couldn’t move, her hands were trembling, a shining tear slipped down her cheek as she tried to approach them but her daughter’s voice stopped her.

“No! Leave! Get the hell out of here!”

“At least, stop the Mako Cannon! Lassie, please! You will destroy Midgar if you fire it again!” Cait Sith shouted.

“To hell with Midgar!” she shouted.

“H- Hester… you know what to do,” these were Hojo’s last words before she nodded and hurried towards the controls.

She was too fast for any of them to stop her. It only took a button to press and the Cannon fired again, and as Cait Sith had said, Midgar started falling apart. The buildings started crashing on the streets, on top of each other. The shouts and screams of panicked people echoed as they were buried into the rubble of stone, cement and metal.

But the only thing, Jocasta paid attention to, was her daughter. Hester dragged Hojo’s carcass towards the computers and plugged a wire at the back of his neck, connecting him with the computer. She was still too shocked to pay attention to what she was planning to do. But then the metal beneath their feet started trembling. The Mako Cannon was even more unstable after that last shot. 

Jocasta tried to snap out of it, and she hurried towards Hester, to take her out of there, but the girl turned around stopping her.

“Leave!” she said firmly.

“But if I leave you here you will-”

“Isn’t it a little too late to care about me, _Mother_?!”

“Joe! We need to get out of here!” Cloud shouted as he and Cait Sith started fending away.

Vincent’s hand passed around her waist as he started dragging her away. Jocasta tried to fight against him. She couldn’t leave _her_ _child_ die in the middle of a collapsing City, even though her words hurt deeply. They felt like sharp claws digging into her skin and tearing her apart. But she had no time, she had to save her. She was her _daughter._

Vincent’s hand was tight around her, and no matter how much she fought it, she couldn’t move and ran towards her. “Let her go! Jocasta…” he flipped her around so that he could look at her. His hand found her face, making sure he had her attention “…we need to go. The Mako Cannon won’t collapse. She’ll be safe up here. We’ll come get her once we’ve evacuated the City,”

Jocasta bit her lip as she turned back at her daughter who was still tirelessly working over the computers, not minding what was happening around her. Not minding what she had done. She had condemned an entire City to destruction and she was still giving a hand on whatever Hojo had told her to do.

She turned back at Vincent and she nodded “Let’s go,”

Vincent’s hand grabbed hers as they started running down the platform and away from the Cannon. The City was a chaos of ruins and panicked people. Dead bodies of innocent lives spread across the streets. Buildings were on fire, screams filled their ears. Jocasta looked around her and she couldn’t believe that her own daughter had caused that. She had pressed that button with no further thought on the consequences that it would have on an entire City. A City filled with nothing but innocent people.

Vincent felt her hand trembling in his. He tightened his fingers around it and he turned at her. She looked so pale, and cold, and terrified. Shocked. He didn’t know what to do to make her feel better, but he knew he wanted to do _anything_ to achieve that. He hated watching her being like this and he didn’t know why. He just wanted to be there for her.

He hugged her. His hands trapped her against him and she broke against his chest and started crying. Her fingers clenched on his shirt as she shuddered. She let out a sob that shook him to the core and all he could do was hug her. _Again_ , he felt so useless, helpless. He thought of what Hojo might have done to her to get to this, and he felt _anger_. He wanted to rip Hojo apart but when Jocasta’s daughter shouted at him, he felt like his hands were tied and he didn’t know what to do.

This situation was such _a mess._


	49. Evacuating Midgar

Jocasta’s hand reached for her forehead. The back of her palm wiped the sweat that had gathered there. It hadn’t started raining yet, and even though the breeze was chilly, she couldn’t help sweating as she looked around her, searching for people. Jocasta and Vincent had agreed to evacuate Sector six. The Turks had ordered whatever was left of Shinra’s police force and infantrymen, to obey to the team’s commands. The entire team had scattered around the sectors, with the Turks, evacuating the City.

Tseng and Elena, had left with a squad, to look for the President in the damaged Shinra HQ. Barret and Red had set off to make sure Marlene and Elmyra were safe. Jocasta had a team of Shinra’s infantrymen following her around the buildings, while they searched for survivors in the endless rubble of what used to be buildings. The City was a mess. The damage on the Sectors was critical and after that evacuation, no one would be able to rebuild their homes after this.

It didn’t matter anymore. Meteor was closer than ever. It was only a matter of hours _now_ before the end of the world. The infantrymen and Jocasta pushed the rubble away with their bare hands. They had nothing else in the midst of all this chaos, and _thank goodness_ they were Mako infused and she was an enhanced specimen, and all that mixture of metal and cement, wasn’t too difficult for them to pick up and throw aside. Jocasta extended her hand and grabbed the people that were trapped in it. She pulled them out. There were also children, and women, and elderly. They all gave her looks and words of gratitude as they pulled them all to the surface and the infantrymen led them to safety.

Shinra had let out whatever vehicles they had left, and they loaded the people in them and took them away from the City. Jocasta looked at her hands. Bleeding cuts and deep wounds made by the pile of metal and bricks that she had tried to push away with all the strength that she had.

She winced as she pulled out a piece of a fractured glass that had buried itself into her palm. She groaned as she watched the wounds taking their time to heal. She would have to deal with them later. What mattered the most now, was the safety of the people.

Jocasta’s enhanced senses caught the crying of a child. She turned around. Her eyes scanned the perimeter and the streets, and the infantrymen waited for her orders.

“Ma’am?”

“Shush!” She hushed him immediately. She took her moment to make sure that it was an actual child that was crying somewhere beneath the rubble of the building that they stood on “Here,” she said and she pointed beneath their feet “There’s somebody down here. Help me,”

The infantrymen helped immediately, getting on their knees and taking off the large piles of bricks that were stuck together with cement. After a long moment of grunting, and wincing, and further slicing the wounds in her hands, they finally revealed that child that was crying beneath it all. Another infantryman pushed the last bricks away from the little boy’s back and Jocasta immediately set off to pick the boy up. He had brown messy hair, bright blue eyes filled with tears as they streamed down his dusted cheeks.

Jocasta picked him up in her hug and she let the boy cry on her shoulder. Her hand found his back, softly caressing him. “It’s gonna be okay… we found you,” she said reassuringly. It almost reminded her of Sephiroth. She gritted her teeth as she remembered him, but she turned her attention back at the boy.

“W- where’s my mom? My parents?” he asked and Jocasta bit her tongue. She didn’t know if they had already rescued them or not. Maybe they could be in that pile of bodies that lied dead in the streets. What was she supposed to answer to that? That poor soul had done nothing to deserve this. Just like so many people that had died that day. And her own daughter had caused all of that.

Jocasta felt bitterness. What had Hojo done to her? Hester didn’t seem so frightened of him. She didn’t want him dead in the first place. Nevertheless, Jocasta knew that she had no time to ponder on these thoughts _now._

She gave the boy a smile as she cupped his face “We have probably rescued your parents. Don’t worry,” Jocasta handed the boy into the hands of an infantryman who took him away with the rest of the people that they had rescued. She turned at the other infantryman “What’s our Status?” she asked.

He nodded and he pressed a button on his helmet and started communicating with the rest of the units that spread around the Sector. He nodded “Understood,” he closed the call and turned at her “Evac complete. All units have moved to the transports,”

Jocasta nodded “Alright. You guys get to your transports,” she ordered and she turned her attention at the Mako Cannon that stood nearby. She wondered if her daughter was still up there.

“What about you, ma’am?” The infantryman asked and Jocasta turned at him and she gave him a smile.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Jocasta said and they saluted before they walked away.

Jocasta felt the walkie-talkie buzzing against her thigh. She pulled it out of her pocket and pressed it over her ear. She cringed at the ninja’s loud voice that hit her eardrums. Jocasta opened her mouth to protest about it, but she sounded panicked.

“Dramaqueen! Vincent’s heading towards the Mako Cannon! Please! It’s too dangerous! Go find that stubborn dumbass!” Yuffie cried out and Jocasta knew _now_ why she sounded so panicked and worried.

She felt that worry creeping at her chest too as she gritted her teeth and turned at the Mako Cannon. “I’ll go find him.” She said before she closed the call. Her eyes scanned the street around her, searching for something. _Anything_ that could get her up there. She spotted another transport that was left abandoned by the corner of the street and she hoped in worked.

She knew Vincent was on his way to find her _daughter_ and maybe make sure that Hojo was dead _._ But her heart hammered against her chest at the thought of something happening to him. It’d be her fault if it got to that.

Jocasta hurried towards the vehicle. She let out a sigh of relief when she realized it was working, and she mounted it and started flying towards the Mako Cannon. _Just don’t look down._ She tried her best not to do that. The wind was violent. It whipped her hair to her face, and the cloud’s started crashing creating flashes of thunder as they hit against the City. That was probably an effect that Meteor had on Gaia’s atmosphere.

She tried her best not to look beneath her and focused on driving that thing. She had no idea how to, but she tried anyway. _A little bit of improvisation_ wouldn’t hurt. A flash of lightning hit the Mako Cannon, throwing off the railings and whatever else stood there on top, lighting it on fire. Jocasta caught a glance at Vincent’s familiar figure that stood on top and Jocasta drove the vehicle as closely as she could.

“Vincent!” She shouted as she extended her hand towards him.

Vincent grabbed her hand as he jumped away from the burning cannon and landed behind her on the flying vehicle. His hands reached for the rudder, grabbing hers that were already there and trapping her between him and the vehicle where he knew she’d be safe.

“Hester wasn’t there,” He said as she let him drive since he looked like he knew how to. “But Hojo was. Must’ve been dead,” he added.

Jocasta let out a heavy sigh. _Of course,_ she wouldn’t be there. She just let her head roll back on his shoulder and she closed her eyes tiredly “I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said admittedly.

Vincent hid a creeping smile behind the collar of his cloak. “Let’s rendezvous with Cloud and the others,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The team gathered back into the Highwind, after evacuating the City. Everybody on the bridge was silent as they couldn’t help but stare at Meteor. It was closer than ever. When Nanaki noticed Jocasta’s hand running through his mane, he frowned and looked up at her.

“Grandpa contacted us. He said we have fourteen hours until impact,” Nanaki said.

Jocasta sighed “We’ll find a way-”

“No,” Cloud cut her as he turned around and looked at his team that gathered around him. They all looked tired, exhausted. They had just evacuated an entire City and fighting like that, wasn’t a good idea. “I want you all to think why you’re here. Why you’re fighting for,” he turned at Barret “Barret, do you want to see Marlene grow?”

“Ya don’t even have ta ask, Spiky,” Barret said.

Cloud turned at Tifa “Tifa, don’t you want to rebuild Seventh Heaven?”

Tifa nodded “Of course, Cloud,”

Cloud turned at Cid, Vincent, Jocasta, and Cait “We all hold something dear. There’s something that urges to keep fighting for. I want you guys to focus on that. Why are you here? Why have we been fighting from the beginning? Why do we want to save this Planet?”

Cloud was making a pretty good point. The team fell silent and they nodded, pondering at it for a moment. _Why do we want to keep living?_ Jocasta remembered herself in her misery for all these years that she had spent on her own. Thirty years and she wished every single second would be her last. The only thing that kept her alive back then, the only thing that she _fought for_ was revenge but it turned out, revenge did not quench her thirst for justice.

 _Now_ she realized she had new drives. She had a daughter. She had to save Sephiroth. And most importantly, she had Vincent. He was her _portal_ into a brand new life. He was her only chance to move on. Maybe that thought sounded selfish because she knew that he was still not feeling the same for her. But he was the only one that she felt like she could rely onto. The thought of him never loving her the same almost sounded terrifying. She hated to think of it, but it was true.

And then there was another question. _Why_ did _he_ fight for? Was it her? Was it Lucrecia? She knew he still blamed himself for his _beloved’s_ demise. But it wasn’t his fault. She too had spent those thirty years, blaming herself about everything that happened, but deep down they both knew, that the only one to blame in this, was _Hojo._ He was the one who filled Lucrecia’s mind with manipulative words of ambition, and she was too naïve to object.

Lots of wrong things happened back in the day, but Jocasta felt it was her job to make things right. She was going to bring Sephiroth back. She was going to find her daughter and get to know her. She was going to _love_ Vincent even if he’d never get to love her the same. But she didn’t care. She couldn’t help it, and it didn’t matter anymore.

“I want you all to think about it. I need you to be clear about your reasons before we head into that last battle,” Cloud said before he turned around and fended away. He was right. They had to know why this was happening.

In fourteen hours, the world was going to end. If they were to save it, _or at least try to save it_ , they had to make sure they had a reason to.


	50. One Last Chance

The team quietly retreated to their quarters. Cid talked with the crew and convinced them to drop them by Rocket Town. If they fail to save the world, then the crew should at least get to spend their last moments with their families. And so, the ship was empty and quiet. Barret’s loud voice came from his room as he talked to his daughter through his PHS.

He was trying his best to let her know that he loved her. It sounded like one last call a father would give to his little girl. He kept apologizing and trying to explain why he couldn’t be there. He tried to convince her that everything was going to be okay. Jocasta smiled. But it was a bitter smile. She wished she had known her own daughter. She wished she had the chance to watch her grow, graduate, achieve. Hojo had stolen that chance from her and he had probably twisted her mind, and bent it to his will till she became like him. At least that’s what Jocasta could guess.

Cloud and Tifa were spending some time in Cloud’s room. She was glad that these two had each other to rely onto, just as much as she had Vincent. Jocasta walked towards the bridge. The lights were turned low. There was night outside and the Highwind was parked over the white hills nearby Icicle Village.

It was so quiet. The corridors of the Highwind, that were once filled with the endless mumble of people running around, it only had the deafening sound of silence. The thick grey clouds were covering Meteor, and they started dropping snowflakes against the cold glass of the bridge.

Jocasta could only guess that Cid was somewhere in there. The smoke of cigar reached her nostrils when she entered the quiet, dark bridge. Cid was sitting by the steps that led to the lower deck. He had a cold, glass bottle, half-filled with beer that he had already consumed. The sparks of his cigarette came to life when he drew it in and puffed it out releasing a large cloud of smoke. He was staring outside, at the dark sky, and the whiteness of the snowed hills that surrounded his ship.

Jocasta sat beside him on the steps and she sighed “One last cigarette till the end of the world?”

He chuckled “Fuck yeah…” he grabbed the bottle and he took a deep sip of his beer. He lent his hand over, offering her to take a sip too. Jocasta shrugged. She didn’t care if it was the same bottle. She could use the alcohol.

She grabbed the bottle and took a sip and she sighed. She hadn’t tasted beer in such a long time. The liquid was soothing and cool against her tongue, as she handed him the bottle back.

“Could tell you’re a drunkard…” Cid grinned “…like me,”

Jocasta raised an eyebrow, teasingly “Drinking _and_ smoking?! How long do you think you’ll last, old man?”

“For fuck’s sakes, lemme fuckin’ enjoy it till the end of the fuckin’ world!” Cid cried out angrily and Jocasta started laughing. He couldn’t help smile as well, when he realized she was just teasing him. “Fuck off, dramaqueen,”

She laughed a little bit more and then a small moment of silence fell as they passed on the bottle of beer. They just focused their attention at the dark, white crater that stood in the distance. This is where Sephiroth was, and this is where the showdown was going to take place. Jocasta sighed.

“Still wanna save that bastard?” Cid asked.

Jocasta pursed her lips. She knew Cid was more understanding than the others. He had no grudges to hold against Sephiroth. “I can’t let them kill him,” she admitted “He’s like… a son to me… you know?”

Cid sighed “Fuck, kid, your situation’s so complicated. But I get it, though… I guess you ought to let the others know,”

“They won’t understand,” Jocasta shook her head.

“Maybe not, but what’s it gonna be? Ya gonna get yourself killed?” Cid asked.

Jocasta sighed. She knew he had a point. The same thought had passed Vincent’s mind a few days ago and she didn’t know what to tell him. And again, she didn’t know what to say to Cid. She just buried her face in her hands and she groaned.

“I don’t want it to get to this,” she admitted.

“Joe, don’t think of anyone else. Think of Vinnie. Fuckin’ guy _almost_ smiles lately,” he said and that troubled her even more. He noticed that troubled expression on her face and he tried to cheer her up “Now, look who’s being a freakin’ dramaqueen!” he bumped her shoulder and she snapped out of whatever depressing thought was passing through her mind. 

“Oh no, please don’t call me that,”

“You fuckin’ are!”

“Why does everybody keep saying that?!”

“Took you and Vinnie long enough to get together,” Cid raised an eyebrow and turned and looked at her on this one, as he passed her the bottle.

Jocasta’s cheery attitude disappeared on this one. She just took a sip and pressed her lips on the cold glass of the bottle. “It’s… still complicated,” she said admittedly.

“It ain’t, you two make it complicated,” Cid said.

“Speaks the guy who acts like he hates his girlfriend because of something that happened five years ago and wasn’t even her fault,” Jocasta said grinning, knowing that she’d get on his nerves.

“Fuck yeah I hate her, she destroyed my goddamn dream-”

“Did she, though?”

Cid groaned as he rubbed his forehead “Fuck… you’re right. I gotta fuckin’ apologize,”

“Do it now,” Jocasta said.

Cid eyed her surprised “Now?! Have any idea what fuckin’ time it is?!”

“You might not get another chance, Cid,” Jocasta said, and she was being serious this time. She passed him the bottle and she got up to leave. Jocasta stopped by the entrance of the bridge and she watched him.

Cid let out another curse before his hand reached for his pocket and he drew out his PHS. He dialed a number and pressed the phone to his ear. He cursed a little bit more because it took a long moment for Shera to pick it up. He was probably waking her, but that couldn’t wait. They had no time and he had to make things right, because, _Jocasta was right_ , he wouldn’t get another chance. When Shera picked up the phone, Cid shifted into his position, nervous all of a sudden, and tried to collect his words carefully.

“Hey… Shera…” he chuckled “…I’m alright, I’m alright. Uh… you?” he was smiling as he spoke. He grabbed the cigarette between his fingers “Look, Shera. I wanna apologize for acting like a total dick those five years. Ya forgive me, right?” and then he chuckled, happily again at the positive response that Jocasta guessed he received. “Ya know, maybe the world’s gonna end tomorrow, but if it doesn’t, and if by some fuckin’ miracle we fuckin’ make it through this mess… will you be my goddamn wife?”

On that Jocasta cringed. _You **do not** propose through a phone call. _If Tedric had done that to her, she would’ve killed him. And if Jocasta knew Shera as much as she thought she did -even for the small period of time they’d spent- she was sure that Shera had started scolding at him through the phone. 

Jocasta just chuckled to herself when she turned around and she headed towards her room. Her mind couldn’t help but ponder on _tomorrow._ What was going to happen tomorrow? They were going to fight Sephiroth, they were going to let the Planet use the Holy and stop Meteor.

Jocasta’s hand reached for her bag. She pulled out the syringe with the purplish liquid. That was the _antidote_ to this. That was the liquid that was going to save Sephiroth. It was going to bring him back and she knew she had to try. She had to sacrifice everything to save him because she had promised she would. She had failed back then, she couldn’t fail again. _Not now. Not again._

And she meant it when she said that he was like a _son_ to her. The son that she never had, and she never planned to have, but it happened. She had tried her best to give him a touch of the life that a child _deserves_ because what Sephiroth had, wasn’t something he _deserved. No._ Nobody deserved this. He too was a victim of Hojo’s and he deserved a new life just as much as every member of that team. He deserved a second chance, and she was going to give it to him. She was going to try. She _had_ to.

But she knew that it all came with a price, and what if that price was _her life?_ Her fingers clenched around the syringe. Could she do that? Could she let go of Vincent? What would that mean to him if it happened? She knew it was stupid to test all the _ifs_ but she felt like she had to. She had to make sure she knew what she was doing. She had to make sure that whatever she’d choose, would be the right choice.

“You’re going to use that, aren’t you?”

She heard Vincent’s familiar voice coming from behind. Jocasta placed it back in her bag and she turned around immediately. She wasn’t sure how long he had been there, in her room. She just hoped he wasn’t standing there _long enough._

She sighed. _Who am I kidding?_ She couldn’t fool him. “I have to,”

He shook his head “I can’t let you come tomorrow,”

“But, Vince-”

“Jocasta…” he cut her.

He knew what she was planning to do. He knew her all too well to say that she was going to sacrifice _everything_ to save other people’s lives, and he admired that, but he hated the consequences of it. What if her life was a consequence? What if he lost her _tomorrow_? What would he do if that happened? He didn’t know. He just knew the idea terrified him and _again_ he didn’t know why he felt this way. He just wanted to protect her. _As pathetic as it sounded,_ he didn’t want her to _leave_ him, not the same way that _Lucrecia_ had left him.

Vincent realized he had approached her, when his hand reached for her face. She leaned on his fingers as they cupped her cheek and her hands slipped over his chest as she made a step closer. Her eyes found his with such love, compassion, _sympathy_. Nobody had ever looked at him that way, and he knew nobody would ever look at him like that again. He couldn’t lose that. He couldn’t lose _her._ Not like _he’d lost Lucrecia._

He saw the sorrow in her eyes, in her expression, in the way her fingers clutched on the straps of his shirt, and he knew that this was probably their last night. If they failed _tomorrow_ the world was going to end, and that night would _inevitably_ be their last. He had spent thirty years of his life, wishing he _could die,_ and _now_ the moment was there and he _didn’t want to_ and he didn’t know why. Maybe he wanted to spend more time with her. But _time…_ they _didn’t have that._

Vincent was so used in his misery, so used to this sadness and his loneliness, but he had none of these for the past few days because _she_ was there. _Sure,_ it _terrified_ him the mere thought of something happening to her, but he preferred that over the thirty years that he’d spent alone into that coffin. She had brought that idea of _moving on_ into his mind, something he’d never thought to do before. _Move on? How? Why? With who?_ She had given him an answer to all of these, but if he lost her, he’d have _nothing._

How could he ever explain all of these? He couldn’t talk. He never talked too much. It made more sense to put words into action than just letting them be… _words._ But how could he let her know that she meant so much to him?

“I…” he hesitated. It sounded _ridiculous._ He’d never speak out such things. But he had to because it was the truth and he couldn’t _swallow_ it and let this night just pass without letting her know that “…I can’t… lose you, Jocasta,”

It was so difficult to say it, but he was glad that he did. He knew it was probably the _only_ chance he’d ever get. Her expression softened immediately. Tears shined in her grey eyes as her hand reached for his face. He closed his eyes on her touch. Soft and soothing. Her thumb slipped over his cheek and he tried to revel in it as much as he could. No one would ever touch him like that if he lost her, and he didn’t know why he _needed_ her that much. He didn’t know why he _needed_ all that affection, but he did. He was still human after all.

His left hand reached for her waist and he brought them closer. Despite his demons, his beasts, his scars, his _fucked-up_ mentality, she still _loved_ him. He knew it was so much more than what he deserved, but she was the only person who would ever give him this.

Her lips parted as she tried to speak. She didn’t know what to say. Anything could happen _tomorrow_. She couldn’t promise that they would get to live another day. She couldn’t give him those fake _hopes_ that Lucrecia had been giving him back then, and got him even more heartbroken. Every single thing in his life had hurt him, and she didn’t want to be one of those.

They had made that conversation before, but back then, the thought of him being _still_ stuck on Lucrecia, it made things _easier._ She thought back then that he _didn’t_ share the same feelings, and thus, if she died, it wouldn’t hurt him as much. But _now_ she wasn’t sure. She couldn’t tell what he felt for her, and he couldn’t either. He just wanted her _there, with him._ Or at least somewhere that he knew she’d be safe.

His hand was tight around her waist. He pressed his forehead against hers. He felt the tip of her nose brushing against his. He wanted her close and he didn’t know _why_. Maybe it was the thought of losing her. Maybe it was the thought of never getting that _closure_ ever again.

He knew she had lost her words. She wasn’t going to reply to that. She didn’t know what to say. And he didn’t care anymore. He had this night. One last night. One last chance.

He kissed her. Her lips responded immediately. Her tongue found his and her fingers tightened around the straps of his chest as if she was trying to keep him there. As if she was afraid that he was going to pull away. But he knew he _couldn’t_ pull away even if he wanted to. He needed to taste her. He needed to nip on her lips and suckle on her tongue and feel her fingers clench into his hair.

His tongue brushed against hers and his hand tightened around her, forcing her body to touch against his. He felt her hands sneaking beneath his cloak, clutching onto his black, leather shirt. Her fingers unbuckled his cloak and he gladly let it fall on the floor. He took off hers. She felt his right hand clutching on her shirt. His left, clawed hand kept her close, still around her waist as they kissed and reveled on each other’s taste, warmth, touch.

Her hands found his face guiding him further down to her. His lips trapped hers between them, before he pulled back and dragged kisses down her cheekbone, her chin, her neck. Those little moans she let out as his tongue touched her skin… he needed more of them. His left hand supported her against him as he picked her up. Her legs tangled around his waist, pressing herself against him, and the feeling knocked a grunt out of him. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders.

His mouth found hers again and he shivered when he felt her hands sneaking beneath his shirt and tracing over the scars on his back and his shoulders. For a moment he felt alarmed. Alarmed that her fingers were tracing over the scars that existed there, but he felt numb. Her scent, her taste, the gentle swirl of her tongue against his. They all made him so numb and mesmerized. He couldn’t do anything but let her kiss him, feel her thin fingers as they clutched on his shoulders.

Vincent didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know if he should _let her in_. He was still afraid that he might scare her away, but the world _was ending,_ and _tomorrow_ could be the day that he’d lose her forever. He carried her towards the bed and he lied her down as gently as he could manage. As if she was a fragile infant that he could hurt at any moment. But when he looked down at her, and her eyes met his, all insecurities were instantly wiped away. He forgot Meteor was coming, he forgot the world was ending, and all he could focus on was _her._

He had settled between her parted legs. Their breathing was erratic. Her eyes flickered with desire in the dark room as her hand reached for his face again. His hands were planted around her on the mattress. He looked afraid. Terrified. He was thinking about _all of these_. He was thinking about _tomorrow_ and the possible outcomes. He was surprising himself. He hadn’t realized how much he _needed_ her.

He closed his eyes briefly and pressed his forehead against hers. Her hand found his cheek again. He opened his eyes again when she spoke. “Vincent… I’m not going anywhere. Everything’s gonna work out-”

“You can’t know that,”

She pursed her lips as she stared up at him. Her hands pushed those messy strands of his pitch-black hair, away from his face, so that she could have a clear look on his flickering crimson eyes. He was right. She couldn’t fool him, nor herself, no matter how much she’d try to convince them both that _everything was going to be alright_.

All she could do was kiss him. She kissed him again and his lips closed around hers, gracefully. Her fingers clenched into his hair as she slipped her lips away from his, and dragged kisses on his cheekbone, his chin. When she found that scar on his neck, he trembled and nearly flinched away, but her fingers were tight in his hair as she kept him in place, and pressed a kiss on the rosy, torn flesh. The memories of _how_ he got that scar, did not jump back into his mind like he expected them to. All he could feel was her tongue, and her lips, pressing warm, wet kisses over the pale skin of his neck. He tried his best, but he couldn’t muffle that moan that reached his throat.

He couldn’t help but close his eyes at the sensation. It felt so _foreign, and unfamiliar._ Her lips were so soft, and smooth, and unleashed _anything_ but pain. _Warmth. Relief._ He was so lost in it, he hadn’t realized her hands had unbuckled the straps of his shirt and she was pushing it down his shoulders. He still wore that thinner, long-sleeved, black shirt that was still making a pretty good job at hiding his skin beneath.

Vincent pulled back. He urged himself to snap out of those blissful kisses on his neck, and he pulled away from her. His hand found immediately hers. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, but he made sure the grasp wasn’t too harsh. He knew she had that scar around her wrist, and he didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want to scare her. He didn’t want to have her _running away from him, disgusted of what he was._

That was another thought that terrified him. It was _funny_ to think of how all the thoughts that _terrified_ him, involved having her _walking away._ He sat back on the edge of the bed, escaping the trap of her legs around him and he let go of her hand. Jocasta sat up beside him.

“Don’t… let’s not-”

“I’m not afraid, Vincent,”

“You will be-”

“I’m _not_ ,” 

His gaze slipped away from her and focused on the floor. He couldn’t _let her in_ no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to _touch_ her and feel her body tremble beneath his. He wanted to hear her moans, her gasps while he’d explore her, but he _couldn’t._ He couldn’t help hesitating. What if _what he was_ would scare her? Because _he was a monster, and this is how everyone should look at him._ He felt her shifting closer to him. Her hand found his face as she softly turned his attention back to her. She knew what he was thinking. She hated it when he thought of himself like that.

“I told you I love you, Vincent. I don’t know why, but I do, and I meant it when I said that. Whatever lies beneath that shirt… it won’t scare me away. I _can’t_ walk away from you, even if I wanted to,” she said, with such sincerity. Her hands found his and trapped it between them, tangling their fingers together.

He didn’t know what to say to that. She meant it, and he knew that she did. And then she took off her shirt and revealed her own scars. He couldn’t help but let his eyes examine her torso, her chest, her hands. Her body didn’t look much different from his, and he felt anger on the thought of what Hojo had done to him, he had done to her as well. She was still wearing her bra, and her muscles shifted in unease when his fingers slipped, hesitantly over the scars on her belly.

He pulled back his hand right away. Every move he would make could hurt her, and he wouldn’t be surprised. But then she grabbed his hand and pulled it back on her belly. She was letting him touch her, even though she would hiss, and wince beneath her breath. Even though she gritted her teeth, trying to keep the sounds back. _No._ He didn’t want to hear her wincing and hissing. He didn’t want to have her body twitching at the memories that came back to her.

He caught her lips, trying to muffle the sounds of _pain._ He didn’t want to hurt her. All he wanted to do, was be there for her. He wanted to try and give her that same amount of affection that she gave him because he knew, _they both knew,_ that this was the last chance they’d get.

His weight pushed her back down on the mattress. He settled himself between her legs again, propping himself up with his hands. He let go of her lips and slipped down her neck. He left tiny nips and kisses. He suckled on her skin knocking a small moan out of her. He slipped his tongue over that scar on her neck and she didn’t twitch, nor wince. Her hands just clutched onto his shirt, trying desperately to keep him there. It felt like she too _needed_ him just as much as he _needed_ her.

His lips found the scars on her chest. He kissed every single one of them. Her hands had already sneaked beneath his shirt, and he was going to let her. He tried to convince himself not to do that, but he couldn’t help it. He stopped kissing and lifted his head back up. Her hands rested flat on his torso, beneath that shirt of his. He tried his best to muffle a groan as he felt her fingers tracing his scars.

He gathered the courage and he finally pushed that shirt off. He felt so ashamed as she took her moment to scan him with her eyes. Ugly marks of burned, cut, butchered, cauterized, missing flesh spread all around his chest, his torso, his shoulders, his neck, his waist. He knew he was _so_ flawed. He knew it was only a matter of seconds before she’d push him away.

But she didn’t. He felt her lips pressing a kiss on one of the many scars on his chest. Vincent flinched for a second. His eyes shut as he remembered the pain. The pain that came when that scar was first placed there. He remembered each one of them. Every single little mark carried an atrocious memory that he wished he could forget.

Jocasta’s lips pressed kisses on every single scar. Her fingers were warm and soft as they traced his chest, his torso. She touched him and treated him with such grace. He never thought anybody would ever treat that way that _wretched_ body of his. He was surprised, but he welcomed it, because every time she’d touch him, she’d bring nothing but relief. Because, _for once_ , somebody touched that part of his body without bringing him pain.

He was so used to bullets, burying into his flesh and sharp blades cutting deep into his skin, that what Jocasta was doing to him _now_ it felt like a _miracle._ She was knocking little gasps, and winces, and grunts out of him, but she was accepting _that body. His_ body. She was still willing to love him and he had never felt so relieved in such a long time.

Nobody would ever reach out to him like that. He knew _now_ that he had to do everything in his power to keep her safe _tomorrow, and forever_. She was slowly pulling him out of his misery. Out of that darkness where he lingered _for so long_. He couldn’t lose that. He couldn’t lose _her_.

His fingers found her chin as he pushed her face back up at him. She looked frightened for a moment. Frightened that he was going to pull away, that he didn’t like this, that maybe he regretted it, that maybe Lucrecia’s face was still popping into his mind. But he kissed her and proved her otherwise. His tongue invaded her mouth, hungrily this time. He hadn’t kissed her like that before. His lips almost engulfed hers as he pushed her back down on the mattress. Her hand pushed his bandana off, tossing it away, releasing his hair and she wasted no time to bury her fingers into them. His whole body hovered over hers and his hand sneaked behind her back. She shivered as she felt his fingers unclipping her bra, releasing her breasts from its tight hold.

Her hands were still around him, and he didn’t care anymore. He was no longer afraid. She _loved him._ She _meant it._ She had _accepted him_ when he couldn’t even accept _himself._ He was so grateful for that. He was so grateful she was there, and not once Lucrecia’s face popped into his mind. Lucrecia _wouldn’t_ accept him if she saw him _now._ He knew her. He knew she wouldn’t. But he didn’t care anymore. He had Jocasta, and she was _his,_ and he was going to make sure of it.

His hand slipped down her pants and she shivered when she felt his fingers brushing over her lower abdomen. His hand slithered beneath her pants. She felt his fingers spreading over her core. His thumb spotted that sensitive bundle of nerves, and pressed against it, making her hips buckle up against his. Her back arched as she let a gasp against his lips. His eyes stared down at her. At the way her chest rose and fell.

He buried his face in her creamy breasts and started licking, and kissing and suckling. Feasting on her flesh like a wild animal, and knocking breathless gasps out of her that he would never get tired listening to. When two of his fingers slipped inside of her, she groaned as she tried to muffle a cry. Her teeth gritted and her hands clenched on the roots of his hair. She was so tight, so wet, his fingers slipped in easily.

His mouth found her neck again, and this time, he wasn’t afraid to _mark_ her. His teeth grazed her skin while his fingers worked into her in a steady, deliberate rhythm. She was gasping and trembling beneath him, and he _liked_ that. He felt his own member pressing hard against the tight grasp of his pants as she pushed her hips up against his hand. She wanted him to go faster, and let her come undone around those fingers.

She gasped when he sank his teeth on the sensitive flesh of her neck. The sting only made her want more. His tongue slid wetly over that mark that he had just created there, and she didn’t mind. She wanted him to leave his traces on her. _His marks_ were marks that she would gladly accept.

She bit his shoulder when he added a third finger. His hand set a faster pace that made her hips close around his hand, but he was still taking her. Her nails clawed in his shoulders as she muffled a cry against them and came hard around his fingers. Her tight, wet hole convulsed around pumping fingers as they brought her to her orgasm hard and fast. Her body trembled as she let her head roll back on the soft pillow. Her back arched up, pressing herself on his hand and she panted against his ear.

He shivered at her hot breath as it hit his earlobe and he drew his fingers out of her, tracing her belly with her wetness that they carried. She moaned as his wet fingers found her breast, and squeezed harsher than he intended. His mouth found hers again. He kissed her, muffling her panting. He moaned in the kiss as he shoved his tongue down her throat, and she didn’t mind if he’d suffocate her. He couldn’t stop tasting her. He couldn’t stop sucking on her lips till they were swollen, and puffy.

Her hands were searching for his pants. They blindly took off his belt, tossing it somewhere around her room. His hand reached for her pants, pulling them down together with her panties. She arched her waist to help him. He unzipped his pants and pulled his hard member out. He stroked himself before he pressed against her opening.

Vincent leaned down at her, his eyes found hers, _questioning_ , waiting for acceptance. Jocasta nodded as he pressed his forehead against hers. His breath hit her face. He was breathing hard as his eyes pierced into hers and his hand found her cheek. He wasn’t going to do anything without her consent. Without knowing that she _wanted_ this. _Wanted_ him.

And when she nodded, he pushed in. He tried to be as gentle as he could. She was so tight and warm and wet. Her muscles gripped him hard and he couldn’t help that low growl that he let against her lips. It felt _so good,_ so good it was almost unbearable. Jocasta gasped and her fingers dug in his shoulders, making him look down at her worriedly, afraid that he was hurting her. She hadn’t done this in _a while._ He filled her insides and he wasn’t even all the way in. But it felt _good._ Almost too good for her too.

Half-lidded eyes found his, as he breathlessly, and worriedly looked down at her. “Jocasta, I… Did I-”

But she shushed him as she pressed her lips against his. He groaned at the sensation of her tongue lapping against his. It was all the permission he needed to pull all the way in, knocking that gasp of hers against his lips, that drove him _insane._ He wanted to make her _gasp_ like that again. He buried his face back in her neck as he pulled all the way out and then back in. She gasped again and his teeth were back on her neck, creating new marks there. _His_ marks.

He pulled out and all the way back in again, with a rough jab against her hips, making her let out a cry that she had failed to muffle. Her whole body trembled beneath him as he did it again, and again, making it harder for her to muffle her cries as he built up a rhythm. His hand found her face, cupping her cheek as he pulled back in and her eyes met his. She didn’t want to look anywhere else but him. His fingers spread down her neck, keeping her face steady as he took her, letting her know that he wanted to keep the eye contact.

And when she came, he kissed her before she had the chance to cry out again. Her hole convulsed _deliciously_ tight around his length, as he stilled inside of her, and let her come down her orgasm. He pulled back from the kiss, letting her pant and catch her breath. Her pitch-black hair fell messily on her face and her pillow. Her body trembled beneath him, and her grey eyes found his. Her lips were bitten, swollen, _by him_. By all these kisses he’d given her as he couldn’t stop tasting them. Her neck had a few new marks that he had just given to her and she didn’t seem to mind. Her fingers were in his hair, making sure she’d keep him close.

She looked so _perfect in her imperfection._ Her scars were numerous like his, but he couldn’t care the least. That woman loved him, and she had no idea how much that meant to him. She was _his._ He finally had someone who was willing to take that role. She was more than willing to spend her eternal life by his side, and he couldn’t even fathom how much content the thought of it made him.

Her hand cupped his face and she dragged her tongue across his cheekbone. So wet and slick. She landed on his chin, giving him a bite and made him groan. Her tongue explored that new bitemark that she had given him. He was still inside of her, and it felt _so good, so right._

“Mine,” he couldn’t help but mumble that against her lips as her eyes stared up at him.

She smiled as she traced her hand over his torso. “Yes,” she spelled out breathlessly. He knocked her breath out as he pulled back, and all the way back in again. He bit on her lip as her tight walls clenched around him like a fist and he started picking up the pace again. His hand muffled her cries as he took her, _again and again._

 _“Mine,”_ he growled against her lips.

She groaned against his hand that pressed against her mouth, muffling the cries and screams that would’ve shuddered all around the Highwind if he’d let her. His tip hit her far end, and it hurt, and her fingers clutched on his shoulders as he took her with an _almost_ brutal pace, but she _loved_ it. She wanted him to _fuck_ her like that till she’d pass out. He was gasping and groaning as he buried his back in her neck. Her feet tangled around his waist as his hips snapped against hers _again and again._

She was going to come again. Her eyes were shut tight as she felt him hitting against her sensitive spot. His mouth was on her neck again. Biting, licking, sucking. Those nips stung harshly in her neck, but she didn’t care. He forced his fingers into her mouth, and she came. She gasped as her back arched up and pushed her heat against him. He growled as her tightness and her juices drifted him over the edge of his own orgasm. He tried to pull out, but her legs were tight around him and her nails were clawing into his shoulders, letting him know that she _needed_ him. She needed him inside of her. She was _his_ after all.

His groan against her neck, made her shiver, as he came inside of her. His warmth spread into her and he panted hard as he pressed his forehead onto her chest. They took a long moment to catch their breath. Her whole body was trembling beneath his, and he tried his best not to crash her. He was still inside of her when he finally lifted his face and caught her lips, in a breathy kiss. Their chests were pressed together as they breathed hard and he dragged his lips down her neck again. He nuzzled his face there and her hands wrapped around his shoulders.

She closed her eyes and smiled. She felt so numb and _stretched,_ but she felt _happy._ Happier than she had been in such a long time. He had finally let her _love him_ and she was so grateful for that. She grateful because he was letting her show him, that he _could be loved._ That he wasn’t alone anymore. That there was someone out there who was _willing to love him like this._

He hadn’t told her he _loved her_ yet, but she knew he needed time. She didn’t need any proof _anyway._ She just wanted him to hold her, and let her hold _him._ And that’s what was happening _now_ and she was _happy._

He pulled out of her and flipped them over. He lied down on his back and gathered her limp body on top of his. Jocasta smiled against his chest as she pressed her cheek on it, and he gathered the bedsheets over their bodies. His hand traced the scars on her back and she lifted her face to look down at him.

“I love you, Vincent,” she said again and he’d never get tired of hearing of that.

She buried her face back in his neck, and she wasn’t expecting an answer. Sorting this out into his mind was much more difficult and she she’d have to give him time. But his hands tightened around her pressing her body protectively against his. _Now_ he knew why he didn’t want this world to end. He wanted to spend that life _with her._

Her palms pressed flat against his chest as she nuzzled in his neck and slowly closed her eyes. She smiled when he pressed a kiss on top of her head and she let herself slip away into the rest that she needed. They’d have to wake up in just a few hours, but she didn’t care. They were finally together. They finally had each other.

Whatever happened _tomorrow…_ They’d get through it. _They would._


	51. Deathly Route

In a few hours, Jocasta slipped out of her sleep when she felt Vincent’s hand running through her hair. His fingers tangled in the messy locks and his breath hit her cheek as he spoke.

“We need to get up,”

Jocasta drew in a deep breath as she lifted her face off his chest, realizing that they had slept in the same position the entire night. Their bodies were still pressed against each other’s, her palms were still flat over his bare, scarred chest. A faint morning light came from the window, and it reflected perfectly on his crimson eyes as he stared up at her and she looked down at him.

His hand found her neck. His fingers traced over the marks that he had given her last night, and for a moment he _panicked._ His thumb found her cheek “Did I hurt you?”

She chuckled. Her hand found his that was on her cheek. She grabbed his fingers with hers and she turned her face, pressing kisses on his fingers and his palm. “No… would I still be here if you had?”

He let out a sigh of relief, and all worries were instantly wiped away when she met his lips with hers and kissed him. His fingers found her hair as he pressed her face closer to his. For a moment, his heart hammered against his chest when he realized, that what had happened last night, it wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t an illusion that was meant to mess with his mind. It had _actually_ happened. He had actually _taken_ her, and made her _his,_ and those marks on her neck, her chest, her belly, they were _his,_ and they were proof of that. His hands tightened around her when her lips closed around his. She was _his. Mine._

But then he felt horrified when the thought of losing her snapped back into his mind. He was prepared to protect her from _anything_ but he couldn’t protect her from _death. No,_ whatever was going to happen _today_ he was going to protect her, even if it meant laying down his life for it. Her teeth sank on his lip, a little bit harsher than she intended to, but that knocked a grunt out of him, and she was suddenly so glad it did.

She couldn’t hold a giggle back and she could’ve sworn he was _almost_ smiling, but she urged herself to get off of him because she knew, if she stayed on top of him a little longer, they wouldn’t make it to the crater _today._ Standing up was the tricky part. She stumbled on her wobbly legs, and _thank Holy,_ she was fast enough to throw a hand by the bedside table and keep herself standing.

Vincent was already on his feet behind her. He had heard him zipping his pants, and his hand was already around her, helping her stand. He couldn’t help but get panicked again. His hand was tight around her waist, his fingers spread on her stomach as he pressed her bare back on his chest in an effort to help her stand.

“Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?” he asked worriedly again. His breath hit against the back of her neck, and her hands reached for his that were still holding tight around her belly.

He noticed a blush creeping across her pale cheeks as she rolled her head back on his shoulder and she pressed a kiss on his cheekbone. “You didn’t hurt me, Vince. It’s just…” she blushed even harder. Her fingers laced with his on her bare belly “…I hadn’t… done this for a while,”

He chuckled as he pressed a kiss on her shoulder, making her bite her lip “Me neither,” he said in her ear and she shivered a bit but tried to snap out of it. It was no time _to act like horny teenagers._ And maybe he too should _stop_ holding her like that.

They pulled away from each other and started getting dressed. Vincent headed for breakfast first after she helped him buckle those endless straps of his shirt that he had, and even he found it difficult to deal with them. It was still pretty early and she was sure that the others were still sleeping. Jocasta took a quick shower. She couldn’t help but let her fingers trace over the tiny bite marks, and nips that he’d left on her neck, on her chest. She grinned. It would be tricky to hide those. She giggled to herself and immediately thought that she was acting _ridiculous._

How could she ever -the proud scientist, Dr. Jocasta Ernchester- act like a little helpless teenage girl for a man? But that man was Vincent Valentine, and she _loved_ him, and she meant it whenever she’d tell him that. She was willing to wait for him to resolve the things that troubled him even _if it took forever_ , and there she was, _acting ridiculous again,_ but she couldn’t help the rush of emotion that was _love._ She hated _love_ in the first place, but… _that’s love. It doesn’t ask you if you want it._ She had wholeheartedly accepted it because it made her happy but she wasn’t sure how long it would _last. ‘Cause love is a treacherous feeling_ and she had to keep reminding herself that. 

Jocasta dressed into a new pair of grey clothes and she walked towards her window. The clouds had retreated. A new, fat layer of snow laid around the lands, and Meteor was closer than ever. The sky was orange, _red_. It reminded her of war. _War._ They were going to fight _today._ They were going to confront Sephiroth who hid somewhere behind that crater. Jocasta’s hands reached for her bag, she made sure that the syringe with the antibodies was still intact. Her fingers closed around it and she sighed. She would have to be fast. She had _promised_ him she’d _save him._ She failed to save him from Hojo, but she wasn’t going to fail to save him from JENOVA. She was going to get rid of that wretched being that had destroyed their lives and harmed their Planet.

She walked out of her room and towards the kitchen. She smelled tea, as she entered the kitchen. It was still pretty early, and only Vincent was sitting by the table with a mug of tea, and Cid was over the kitchen counter pouring himself a bit of his own tea.

Cid pressed his back against the counter and brought the mug over his nose. He sniffed a bit of the steaming hot liquid and he let out a satisfied sigh. “My last GODDAMN TEA!”

Jocasta chuckled as she approached him. She grabbed her own mug from the shelf, and poured herself a little bit of that _goddamn tea._ Cid’s tea was always _delicious_ and it was a wonder of how he managed to make some _hot-leaf juice_ into the tastiest drink she could have for a morning. She pressed her hips against the counter as she took a sip and savored the hot, aromatic liquid on her tongue. She hadn’t realized Cid was staring at her with an arched eyebrow.

“You’ve been hit by a truck or somethin’?”

At that, her sip caught halfway her throat and she gulped. She hid her neck further behind her hair and she could feel the heat of a blush taking over her cheeks. _Vinceeennnttt! I’m gonna kill you._

“Uh… yes?” Jocasta had no idea what else to say. She just grabbed her mug and settled on the chair beside Vincent’s.

Vincent buried his face further behind that collar on his cloak, to hide a creeping, mischievous smile on his lips. Cid chuckled as he poured tea back into his mug for a second time and joined the two on the table.

“Glad ya guys worked things out. It’s better to deal with that stuff before the world ends, ya know?” Cid said taking another sip. He settled his mug on the table and his hands searched his pockets for his pack of cigarettes.

“The world’s not going to end, Cid,” Vincent said _because if the world ended_ his and Jocasta’s future would end with it, and _he didn’t want that_. He wasn’t going to let it happen. For once in such a long time, he wanted to _live. With her._

“Yeah, yeah, I know…” Cid sighed as he took out a cigarette and lighted it up “…we stop Sephy, Planet’s free to use Holy, and we’ll live happily ever after,” he said as he puffed out his cigarette but he frowned.

They all frowned because they knew that as _nice as it sounded_ it wasn’t sure that they would get to that. Maybe the world was indeed going to end, or maybe they would indeed save it. Nothing could be for sure.

The team started stirring up and entering the kitchen one by one to grab something to eat before the big battle. Cloud and Tifa were surprised that the others were still there. They were still willing to fight. They were willing to give all they had for a chance to save the Planet, instead of spending their final moments with their loved ones.

Cloud appreciated that. He thanked every single one of them, but when he turned at Vincent he said “I honestly thought you didn’t care. You seem always so cold towards everything that’s happening,”

“Cold?” Vincent asked. He hadn’t even noticed. That unreadable expression he always kept on his face, was a mask that hid what he thought and what he felt, and it hid him perfectly. Only Jocasta could see through it. “I guess that’s just the way I am. Sorry,”

The team returned back to their rooms, to grab their weapons and prepare for battle. The Highwind was back in the air again. Cid piloted the massive ship with Cait’s help. The robotic cat used his fingers to plug into the controls and helped him pilot the ship, because, _sure,_ Cid was an excellent pilot, but alone he wouldn’t be able to do it.

Jocasta’s fingers traced her daggers and her Sais that she had rested on the table in her room the night before. _Seven hours._ Seven hours were left till impact. They had seven hours to defeat Sephiroth. She didn’t care if the entire world was at stake. She was still going to _save_ him. He deserved a second chance as much as every single member on that team. He too was a victim.

She fitted her daggers beneath her sleeves. She settled her Sais in their cases around her waist and she passed her bag around her shoulders. She made sure she had her wound-healing serum, bandages, alcohol, syringes, and most importantly, the _antidote._ That syringe that contained the purplish liquid that was going to save Sephiroth. She hadn’t talked to the others about it, and she wasn’t going to. She was going to find a way to save him. She _had_ to.

Jocasta passed her quiver with her arrows and her bow on her back and she exited her room. Vincent was just exiting his. His guns were neatly fitted into their cases on his hips. He had bullets fitted everywhere around his outfit. His red bandana was tight around his head, keeping a few of his messy hair at bay. His eyes were _lighter._ Crimson, but shined with _hope,_ especially when they focused on her. Everything was going to be okay and he kept telling himself that even though he knew it wasn’t completely true. 

“Ready?” She asked and he nodded.

They headed with Nanaki and Yuffie towards the bridge, where Barret, Cid, Tifa, Cait Sith, and Cloud were already. Cloud had his hands crossed against his chest, a large sword fitted on his back with a few slots, loaded with materia. Barret had a big gun fitted on his arms, and Tifa was wearing a new pair of electrifying gloves, with their own slots filled with materia. Yuffie had her Shuriken fitted on her back, and a bag hung from her shoulder, with a couple of materias inside should they come of use. They had made sure to be dressed into thick clothes, that were going to keep the low temperatures of the crater from touching their bodies.

“Although she’s not here…” Nanaki started, drawing everybody’s attention “…she gave us a window of opportunity. It was Aerith’s prayers that unleashed Holy. The Planet has naught but to use it,”

The team fell silent and they nodded at Nanaki’s words.

“Aerith died as a hero,” Barret said.

“We can’t let her down,” Cid nodded.

“Aerith died with a smile. That’s how heroes die,” Cloud said as he turned his back and stared outside at the crater that rested in the far distance “It was Sephiroth who killed her. It is Sephiroth that is blocking the Planet from using Holy and destroying Meteor…” he fell silent for a second until he turned at his team and met their gazes with his “…Cid’s right. We can’t let her down. We can’t let her death be for nothing. We have seven hours left. Seven hours to take down Sephiroth…”

Vincent opened his mouth to object. He wanted to tell him that Jocasta didn’t want him dead. He didn’t want to kill him either. He wanted to _explain_ to him that it wasn’t Sephiroth’s fault what he had become and what he had done. That it was just the alien pushing the reigns ever since the very beginning. But Jocasta’s hand gripped his forearm and stopped him. It made sense that Cloud wasn’t going to agree. He _needed_ this revenge. The entire team _needed_ to take him out because he had wronged every single out of them, but Jocasta knew they wouldn’t understand that it _just wasn’t him._ Nevertheless, Vincent didn’t speak. He swallowed the words back and just kept his attention on what Cloud had to say.

“…we take him down, we save the Planet…” Cloud said and Jocasta bit her tongue. _Shit._ Cloud turned back on the windows of the Highwind and his attention fell on the Crater. “…Alright, everybody, let’s mosey!”

Jocasta arched an eyebrow. _Right._

“Boo!” Yuffie cried out giving him a thumbs-down “Is that the best that you can do!?”

“Don’t say that, ya sound like a fuckin’ wimp, Spiky!” Cid cried out “Can’t you just say ‘move out’ or somethin’?!”

Cloud groaned and rubbed his forehead “Move out!”


	52. Too Late to Say Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended song to listen to while reading the end of this chap: The Other Side by 'Ruelle'

She was sure she looked pale. Paler than she’d ever looked before. They had been walking towards the crater for a couple of minutes, hours, she didn’t know. She just knew her hands were trembling and the snowflakes were sticking her fingers together.

The frost on the crater bit harshly against their bodies. The thick clothes were doing nothing to shield them from it. The temperatures were dropped especially around the Crater because of the energy that the Cetra had gathered to heal the Planet’s wound that JENOVA had caused when she fell with that Meteor.

Vincent was behind her, on the slim stone path that was covered with thick layers of snow. Yuffie and Tifa were wearing clothes _this time_ but the frost was still hitting them hard as they curled close to each other. Vincent, Jocasta, Nanaki, and Cloud, still seemed immune to the cold as they walked forward, and Cid with Barret were keeping an eye on Tifa and Yuffie. Cait Sith was standing on Nanaki’s back. He was a waterproof robot, the luckiest of them all.

Jocasta dragged another rubble of ice and snow with her feet so that she could move further. She nearly slipped on the ice beneath her, but Vincent’s hand was fast. His reflexes kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her waist and helped her stand. His arms were warm around her, and she could sense it even from above all those layers of clothing that she wore.

“Careful!” He sounded alarmed. His eyes were wide as he pressed her back against his chest. He made sure that the path in front of them was safe before his hands released her. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“Thanks, Vince,” she said gratefully as she turned to look at him and give him a weak smile. He nodded, and their attention was caught up by Cloud’s voice as he spoke.

“We’re here,” Cloud said. His voice sounded cold. His crystal blue, Mako infused eyes stared at the cave that spread in front of them. He was leading them there. He had an insistent feeling, that that’s where Sephiroth was. He could feel it in the JENOVA cells that had been forced inside of him.

The others reached them not long after. “So, this is the cave, Cloud, eh?” Cait’s voice came as Nanaki approached them.

Nanaki’s nose twitched and he hummed in acknowledgment “I can smell him,” he nodded.

“Do you think you can lead us to him?” Cloud asked.

Nanaki nodded “I could give it a try,” he said and Cloud let him walk forward.

The team entered the cave, where the frost didn’t bite as much as it did on the outside. It was getting quite easier to walk in there. The crystallized Mako that was attached all around the walls and the roof, was bringing enough light to guide them within the endless corridors of the cave. There were streams of frozen water and frozen Mako. The light that reflected was only green with a faint touch of white.

Yuffie let out a groan of protest “How much longer till we kick some ass?

Cid groaned irritatingly “Shut up, brat,”

“But it’s getting boring!!”

“Not for long, Kisaragi,” Barret said as he cocked his gun, preparing it for battle.

Nanaki stopped walking. He growled and his nose twitched again. His flaming tail stopped perking around and he got in a defensive stance as he stared in front of them. Everybody turned their attention at what he had been growling at and their eyes widened. It was _him. Sephiroth_. His hair was almost white. His one hand was merged with his one wing. A white mass had started spreading from that wing towards his entire body. Jocasta gritted her teeth.

That alien had started _spreading._ It was spreading like a virus. The alien cells had been reproducing rapidly, spreading over his body, controlling him with even more power than it did before. His eyes were crystal green. They were so piercing as they scanned the team that got into their stances immediately. His left hand was gripping tightly on the purple stem of the Masamune.

Jocasta shook her head as his piercing green eyes met hers. _No._ They weren’t supposed to be green. His hair wasn’t supposed to be to silver, almost platinum white. He didn’t look human. His wing had merged with his right hand and those greenish-white cells were spreading over his skin. He was losing his humanity and she hated watching him like that. He didn’t speak. He didn’t say a word. She only hoped there was still some touch of sanity left in his _insanity._ She just hoped that there was still a little bit of _Sephiroth_ beneath that monstrous formation.

She could still see that little boy that she had raised back then, and her hands tightened around her bag that hung from her shoulder. She was going to save him. She had to. He had suffered so much. He did not deserve this. _Nobody does._

Cloud was ready to attack, but then a monster fell in the middle. It looked huge, with lots of tentacles whipping around. The body of the alien was supported in the middle of the undefined mass of alien tissue. Jocasta recognized the alien immediately. _JENOVA._

Her hands reached for her Sais immediately and she jumped away from a tentacle that came flying towards her. It whipped harshly the spot that she previously stood on. Yuffie’s Shuriken came flying towards one of its tentacles, cutting it, and letting the cut limb fall on the ice beneath their feet. The torn limb kept twitching even though it was parted from the alien’s body. The creature screamed. Its teeth, a thousand series of them, bit hard on the ice that they stood on, making the ground unstable.

Cid launched towards it with his spear. He stabbed the pointy side of it right onto its face and it shrieked. Its other tentacle, one of the many, wrapped tightly around him and pushed him away. The tight hold of the slimy limb as it tangled itself around his body, made Cid cry out in pain, and gasp for breath.

Vincent shot towards it. The thick bullets of Death Penalty, passed right through it, urging it to let Cid down. Cid landed on his knees and gathered his breath. Jocasta shot an arrow at another tentacle that came Yuffie’s way. Cloud was slicing right through the beast with his sword, and Tifa was punching and kicking hard on the alien tissue. Her electrifying gloves brought it some serious damage, making it shriek and writhe and jump around the unstable cave.

Jocasta shot an arrow on its way. The pointy side of the arrow buried right into its slimy flesh. The alien spit out a greenish liquid towards her and Jocasta immediately jumped out of the way. She looked at wherever its saliva landed. It landed on Mako Crystals, which immediately started melting away. She cringed as she took out her Sais and launched towards another tentacle that came towards Cait’s way.

She sliced the slimy limb before it had the chance to bust him. Nanaki launched towards the next one with his sharp fangs and claws, digging them in its skin and tearing it apart. Barret was crying out as he shot endless bullets towards it. As that thing kept the team focused, Cloud ran towards Sephiroth.

They crashed their swords together and began their fight. Cloud was more skillful than ever. He was so determined to beat him. So determined to get his revenge and put an end to this. He _needed_ to quench his thirst for justice. This monster had killed Aerith for no reason at all. She hadn’t done anything to wrong anybody. She was the only threat against JENOVA. But maybe Jocasta was right. Sephiroth wasn’t in control of his body. There were no sassy remarks. Manipulative words that were supposed to throw Cloud off his guard. There were none of these _now._ Sephiroth was just a host. A body that harbored and committed the alien’s commands into his mind.

Nevertheless, Cloud still fought with the intention to _kill_. He had so much anger to take out. He remembered himself when he was little. He would look up to that man. To the same man that had burned down his hometown, killed his mother, Tifa’s father, killed Aerith in cold blood. He had committed so many crimes. He deserved _death._

Jocasta’s attention couldn’t help but fall on Cloud’s and Sephiroth’s duel. Yuffie casted a Thundaga spell against JENOVA and Tifa casted an Ultima spell. Jocasta was slicing through its skin and tried her best to not touch its blood or its saliva. They could all be infectious in some way. She warned the others as well.

Barret’s cries and endless shooting, Cid’s cursing as he sliced through that beast’s skin, Vincent’s shooting and Yuffie’s cries as she attacked with her Shuriken and her materias again and again. That was all that echoed through the endless maze of caverns deep beneath the mountainside. Jocasta’s Sais kept slicing through its skin and it didn’t seem to _die already_.

Jocasta looked around her for any way that she could possibly put an end to that beast’s life. She spotted a stream of Mako that miraculously hadn’t been crystallized yet. She knew the reaction of Mako and electric currents could be quite deadlier than the mixture of water and electric energy.

Jocasta grabbed her bow and arrow and she shot towards the beast. It shrieked and it turned at her direction. Her heart hammered against her chest as she looked at the beast’s attention that fell towards her. She only hoped her plan would work. She shot another arrow and it screamed again and started walking towards her. Vincent kept firing at it, but he didn’t seem to be getting its attention. Jocasta ran towards the Mako stream and it followed her, screaming and shrieking.

“Joe! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Barret’s voice came loud from behind.

Jocasta jumped into the Mako stream and tried to brace herself so that it wouldn’t drag her with the pressure of it. She turned at the young ninja who had been jumping around, creating cuts on the beast. Vincent’s eyes widened when he realized what Jocasta had in mind. He jumped towards her. His hand extended to her direction for her to grab it when she would have to.

When the beast stepped into the Mako stream Jocasta shouted “Yuffie! Thundaga spell, now!”

Yuffie did immediately as she was asked and Jocasta grabbed Vincent’s hand. He drew her out of the stream just in time, before the electric energy coursed through the entire beast and the Mako. It writhed and screamed and quivered till the beast crashed on the icy floor, dead.

“Woo!” Yuffie threw a fist in the air excitedly.

“Good thinking,” Tifa said, giving Jocasta a smile before she immediately hurried towards Cloud and Sephiroth.

The rest of the team hurried towards the two that were locked in a deadly duel and they attacked. Nanaki came with his sharp claws towards Sephiroth. Barret started firing, Tifa started punching and kicking, Yuffie threw her Shuriken and Cid launched with his spear. Jocasta gritted her teeth for a moment thinking that they were too much for him to handle. She couldn’t attack, she couldn’t hurt him, and Vincent wasn’t attacking either. It was hard to do it.

But Sephiroth formed a shield around him, protecting himself from Barret’s bullets and Yuffie’s Shuriken that came flying his way. It dodged the Shuriken back to her. A swift movement of Sephiroth’s hand had the young ninja flying back to the icy walls of the cavern. Yuffie cried out in pain, as he back hit harshly against the icy wall and crashed back on her knees.

Cloud tried to penetrate Sephiroth’s shield, slicing it with his sword. Barret’s bullets seemed to be doing nothing to him and so, Vincent started firing, knowing that his own wouldn’t harm him either. Sephiroth’s wing sent Nanaki and Cait Sith over the other side of the cavern.

Cloud casted a Firaga spell that seemed to be breaking the shield. He did it again, and again, till Sephiroth was left unprotected. Sephiroth spun his sword around blocking Barret’s bullets. He made a few steps back as Cloud attacked him simultaneously. A smirk caught on Sephiroth’s lips when another bunch of creatures crawled their way towards them.

Ugly beasts that were going to keep the rest of the team busy. That’s how the fight went on for a long moment. Jocasta was slicing skin and listening to screams of either the creatures’ or her friends as they fought their way through them. Cloud was the only one fighting Sephiroth _now_ and she was afraid that Cloud was going to kill him.

Jocasta finished quickly with the flying, ugly creature in front of her. She felt another one approaching her from behind and she immediately turned around to hit it, but Vincent’s bullet found it first and it shrieked. Jocasta’s fingers tightened around her Sais as she sliced it’s wings off and she gave a harsh side-kick that knocked it over a pile of crystalized Mako.

Other two came towards her. Jocasta shot an arrow on the one. She shot another arrow at another one that was heading towards Vincent’s way and he hadn’t noticed it. Jocasta shook her hand, making the dagger slip from her sleeve down her palm. Her fingers tightened around it as she turned around and threw it towards the second beast that came flying her way.

Jocasta turned around and scanned her surroundings. Vincent was shooting at the ones that were attacking him. Cid was slicing through them with his spear and Yuffie’s Shuriken flew all around the place as she attacked her own. Barret was loudly crying out as he shot endless bullets and Nanaki took down his own with his sharp claws.

Jocasta shot another arrow at one that came Vincent’s way, and Vincent shot one that came her way. She turned around, pressing her back against his as multiple of these beasts cornered them both. But they were no match for them. Jocasta launched with her Sais, and Vincent grabbed another pair of bullets, loading them on Death Penalty before he started firing again. He side-kicked one that came his way, making it crash towards the wall and he shot another one that attacked him.

He heard Jocasta’s cries as she attacked her own. She kicked and sliced with her Sais skillfully, cutting through the alien tissue and tearing them apart. She felt one attacking her from behind and she bowed avoiding the attack. She immediately spun her Sai around till she buried powerfully its tip into the flesh of another beast. Her attention fell on Cloud and Sephiroth.

These two were still fighting, and at some point, Cloud had cornered him over the icy walls of the cavern. _Couldn’t he see_ that it was _him?!_ Couldn’t he understand that he wasn’t fighting Sephiroth, he was fighting the alien that controlled his body?! Jocasta’s eyes widened as she hurried towards them.

Vincent turned around only to find her missing. He spotted her hurrying towards the two. He tried to follow her, but another series of beasts surrounded him and he knew that he’d have to get rid of them quickly. He couldn’t shapeshift no matter how loud his demons and his beasts screamed into his mind, asking him to. It would take time and energy and he had none of those.

He loaded another series of bullets and he started firing away. He had to hurry. He had to stop her. Jocasta was already there though. Cloud crashed his sword with Masamune once again. The loud creaking of metal, colliding against metal, echoed all around the cave. Cloud’s anger fueled him with power as he pushed Sephiroth’s sword away from his arm. Sephiroth let out an animalistic cry as Cloud’s sword ran towards his feet. Sephiroth was fast enough to jump away and avoid getting his feet sliced, but Cloud’s sword did cut through the skin of his feet, making him cry out and fall to his knees.

And there he was. Cloud was finally going to strike him down. He was finally going to put an end in this. He pulled his sword back and pushed it forward with a loud cry of satisfaction to stab his sworn enemy and _save the world._ Because _Sephiroth was the virus. Sephiroth was the ultimate threat._

But it wasn’t Sephiroth’s body that he stabbed. Jocasta fell in the middle. Her cry of pain was loud as Cloud’s large sword passed through her back and exited her stomach. Cloud’s eyes widened in shock. His hands trembled, still trying to realize what had happened.

Sephiroth -nay, JENOVA- found his chance to attack again, but his body stilled when Jocasta’s hand stabbed that syringe on his chest and unleashed the purplish liquid inside. Sephiroth fell back on the floor as his body quivered and twitched, and tossed and turned. The liquid spread all around his body, instantly killing the alien cells. His wing fell apart and his eyes and his hair started gaining their natural colors.

Despite the pain she felt spreading on her stomach as Cloud’s sword was still stabbed into her body, Jocasta smiled as she watched Sephiroth _coming back._ But then her legs felt wobbly and the pain returned and spread all around her body.

Jocasta fell on her knees and her hands reached for her bleeding wound on her stomach. It was too deep for her self-healing to deal with. She just stared at the blood on her hand. She felt the warm liquid trickling out of the large wound, drenching her clothes and her belly, and she knew she had little time.

Her energy was drained off her body along with her blood as she fell back on her back. But it was a shout and a pair of hands that caught her and settled her on somebody’s lap. She opened her eyes and met Vincent’s. His hands clutched around her and he couldn’t believe what was happening. He couldn’t believe he was _losing_ her. _How could I let this happen?_ It was _his fault. My fault. I let her._

“Vi- Vince… I-”

“Save your strength. You’re gonna be alright… you’re gonna be okay… Jocasta… you’re gonna make it,” the words just slipped out of his mouth and he was unable to hold them back. He wasn’t sure if he was mostly trying to convince himself that he _wasn’t losing her._ He _couldn’t be losing her._ He was unable to think, to move, to react. His eyes stung. His hand found her wound. It was large, and bleeding fast. Her one hand was already clutching painfully against it and he gritted his teeth as he watched that expression of pain forming on her face. He hated to watch her being in pain. He hated to watch her suffer. He hated to _watch her die. No._ She wasn’t dying. He shook his head. _She couldn’t be dying._

She smiled up at him. There was that sorrow that he hated watching in her eyes. A tear slipped down her cheek as her bloody hand reached for his face. Her shaky fingers found his cheek and caressed him softly. Vincent let out a sob that he couldn’t hold back, and before he even knew it, his eyes were shedding tears that her thumb struggled to wipe away from his cheek. Nobody was going to touch his cheek like that ever again. He was losing her and he couldn’t even imagine what he’d do when that moment passed. All they had _now_ was a moment and he couldn’t help but blame himself for that. She deserved to live. He should be the one bleeding to death _now_. _If I was faster… I could’ve stopped her._ But he had failed to do that, just like he had failed to stop Lucrecia.

He shook his head. He wasn’t going to lose her. He _couldn’t._ He took her hand in his and laced their finger together. His left hand held her tightly against him. He was _such a fool._ Such a fool to not have realized it sooner. They had spent all these days together before that and he hadn’t even tried to reach out to her. He was so insecure, so hesitant. He could have _let her loved him sooner._ They’d have more time if he’d _let her in_ sooner. _They would have more time._ But they didn’t have time. _Not now. Now_ he was losing her, and he was losing another part of himself. _Again._

“Vincent…” she spelled out as a drop of her blood slipped out of her lips. For a moment everything paused around them. All he could hear was her voice and his fast heartbeat. She too couldn’t hear the chaos that had been going on. She wanted to focus on nothing else but his crimson-brown eyes. His trembling body as he held her tight for the last time. She needed to know before she slipped away. She _needed_ to know. “…do you think… you could’ve ever loved me… as much as you loved… _her_?”

He shuddered as another series of tears reached his stinging eyes, and fell on his cheeks. He gritted his teeth harshly and his fingers tightened around hers and met her _magnificent_ grey eyes, and he knew it’d be the last time he’d look down at them “No… I could have loved you so much more,”

And then that smile that she had been trying to keep on her face, faded away and she wept, and her tears soaked her cheeks. The pain that followed was worse than her wound. It was worse because she was _leaving him._ And it hurt. _It hurt._

And with that pain, her head rolled back on his left arm, and her eyes slipped away from his. He stole her final breath with a kiss and her tongue responded weakly, giving him a final swirl with her sweet taste on it before it fell back, and he pulled back. He breathed shakily against her pale lips and the hold of her fingers around his started loosening. He didn’t know what was happening around him and he didn't care. He buried his face in her pale neck and wept silently as he tried to bring her limp body closer. They had saved the world but it didn’t matter anymore. He’d lost her.

_He’d lost her._


	53. Aftermath

All she remembered were shouts. Endless voices talking on top of her. She couldn’t feel her body, she didn’t have her senses. She was numb, limp. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think, but she knew she was being transported somewhere. _A helicopter._ The flickering lights of a corridor. _A hospital?_ Probably. She didn’t know, because everything turned black and she slipped into unconsciousness and for a moment she knew that this was the end.

A moment she’d longed for, for so long. She’d been wanting to die for thirty years. But then, the thought of dying was the worst that she could fathom. _No._ The thought of Vincent dying was the worst that she could think of. What could he be doing _now_? She didn’t know. She just slipped into the vast darkness of unconsciousness.

And she didn’t know how long it took when she opened her eyes again. She didn’t know how long it took when she gained her senses. That pain on her stomach returned back in full force, but she could still say she was on anti-inflammatory pills because she knew that the pain should be worse than it already was.

Jocasta tried to move her hands. She looked down at the tubes and needles that fed her blood vessels with the nutrients that her body needed. It felt like she hadn’t moved her fingers, her body, her limbs, in days. She was on a hospital bed. She recognized the familiar beeping sound of the machines around her. Her eyes slipped on the opened window that brought white light in. It wasn’t yellow as it had been before when the Meteor was still in the sky. She could only assume that they had _made it._ They had saved the world because her body felt like she hadn’t moved it for _days._ Days that during Meteor they didn’t have.

She turned her gaze on her left side and she let out a sigh of relief. _Vincent._ The pain on her stomach seemed to fade away, and all she could feel was her heart beating loudly. He was there. He was _okay._ He was _safe._ He was sitting on a chair beside her bed. His attention was focused on a book. She couldn’t help but smile as she looked at him for a moment. He had that focused expression on his face and a pile of books rested beside his chair. She could only assume that he’d read all of them. _How long was I out?_

She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat needed a few efforts to make out a word. His name, the first word she’d spoken in days “V- Vincent…”

His eyes widened and he immediately slammed the book closed. He didn’t care if he’d lost the page. He settled it on the pile of books that rested beside his chair, and he got up and hurried towards her. His hand found hers immediately and he sat beside her on the bed. His eyes stared down at her in wonder and surprise. Her fingers tightened around his left, clawed, hand, and his right hand reached for her face. He cupped her cheek and she leaned on his touch immediately.

“Jocasta… how’re you feeling?” He asked as he traced his thumb on her cheek and she smiled up at him.

“I’m better now,” her fingers tightened around his as she shifted her head and pressed a kiss on his thumb that was on her cheek

He let out a sigh of relief. That tension on his shoulders loosened away, and he leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers. His crimson eyes found hers and he drew in a shaky breath.

“I thought I’d lost you,” He said. His breath hit her face and her hands reached for his cheeks, cupping his face. He closed his eyes and reveled at the soft touch of her fingers on his pale skin. He had _missed it_ and it hasn’t even been that long.

She smiled up at him as her nose brushed against his. She looked at the dark circles around his eyes that let her know that he hadn’t slept. How could he? He was so panicked and worried. After she fell wounded, Cid hurried towards the Highwind piloted it into the crater with all the skill that he possessed. Vincent carried her back into the Highwind, and Tifa injected her with her wound-healing serum that she had in her bag. Dr. Alford in Mideel’s clinic had said that if it weren’t for that, she’d be dead. But her body took its time to heal and Vincent had been by her side for seven days.

“You know it takes so much more to get rid of me,” Jocasta teased.

He smiled. _Vincent Valentine smiled_. It almost looked _unbelievable_ , but before she had the chance to say anything to tease him about it, he crashed his lips against hers. His tongue touched hers and she responded immediately with a gentle swirl. She moaned as she tasted him and her fingers slipped in his hair pulling him further down to her. His hand supported her face against him and his other hand kept him from crashing her. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted, and she was still badly wounded that every little move of his could harm her. He tried to keep control over _himself,_ even though he found himself so lost in that kiss. Especially when she bit gently on his lower lip, she knocked a low growl out of him that made her lift her head up and catch his lips again.

But before he had the chance to lean closer and kiss her harder, a voice came from behind that made them both jump in surprise and away from each other.

“Vincent! She’s been awake for three seconds and you’re already on top of her!”

Jocasta lifted her head off her pillow and she picked at the entrance of her room. Tifa, _of course._ She wore a red ribbon tied around her left hand and her usual outfit. Jocasta noticed a red ribbon tied around Vincent’s shoulder too, but on his right hand, since he had the gauntlet on the left. She noted to herself to ask him later about it.

Tifa was carrying a tray. There was a hot mug of tea and a plate with a sandwich. The smell of these made her stomach gurgle hungrily, realizing that she hadn’t eaten in _days._ Vincent immediately pulled away and buried his face behind the collar of his cloak, trying his best to fight back a blush that crept over his pale cheeks. Tifa was right, but the tension, and the fear of having lost her forever, was finally retreating because she was finally awake, she was finally _safe._

He knew she’d need time to heal but he was okay with that. He was going to wait for as long as she’d need. He just wanted her to be _okay,_ and _happy._ What he’d told her in that cave, he meant it. _He could love her._ He _could_ because she was nothing like Lucrecia. She was so much _better_. Lucrecia had _condemned_ her child, and Jocasta had saved him from his _damnation_ as if he were her own.

Jocasta munched on the sandwich hungrily and he couldn’t help but chuckle. She looked _cute_ with her stuffed cheeks as she nodded and smiled at Tifa while she spoke to her. And then Jocasta’s mind fell back on Meteor. She remembered what happened in that cave. She remembered she had saved Sephiroth just in time. Right before Cloud had the chance to kill him. But she hadn’t made sure of it yet. Jocasta swallowed her bite and she turned at the other two.

“Sephiroth? Where is he? Is he okay? Did I manage to save him?” Jocasta asked.

Tifa sighed and she crossed her hands against her chest “He’s… changed. He’s also recovering in another room in the clinic,”

Jocasta let out a deep breath of relief and her head fell back on her pillow. Her shoulders relaxed instantly, and she took a sip from her tea. It wasn’t as delicious as Cid’s tea, but the aromatic liquid was hot and soothing on her tongue.

She smiled. Sephiroth was _okay._ Of course, he had changed. Of course, he’d be different. He would finally be himself and she couldn’t wait to meet him. She wanted to apologize. She had failed to save him the first time, but _now_ she’d done it and she felt a relief and a weight lifting off her shoulders. She finally fulfilled her promise to him. A promise she thought that she had broken. She had _done it._ He was gonna be okay, he was gonna get back the life that he deserved. It could be a fresh start.

She placed the tray beside her and tried to get up. She wanted to see him. She wanted to apologize and finally talk to the _little boy_ that she’d been raising back in the day. But then the pain stung harshly on her stomach and she winced and fell back down on the mattress of the hospital bed.

Tifa and Vincent hurried towards her. A pair of hands pushed her back down on the bed and two pairs of eyes stared down at her, wide, alarmed. “What are you doing?!” Tifa cried out worriedly.

“I need to see him,”

“You will see him, but for now you need to rest and so does he,” Vincent reasoned.

Tifa nodded and Jocasta sighed before she nodded too. She let her head fall back on the pillows and let her aching muscles relax. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to _move._ Her hand slipped over the layers of bandages that were tied around her torso, thick and tight and she let out another sigh. She could only say that she’d need to stay bed-ridden for at least the next few days. Cloud’s sword had a wide blade and it had sliced everything on its way. But she didn’t hold any grudges against him. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t planning to harm her in the first place. She was the one who got in the way because he was about to kill Sephiroth, and she would do it again if it ever got to that.

Jocasta watched Tifa as she picked up the tray and walked towards the door. “Tifa…” she stopped halfway the door and turned back at her “…tell Cloud I’m not… mad. Please let him know it wasn’t his fault,”

Tifa cracked a smile and she nodded “Right,” before she exited the room and closed the door behind.

Jocasta turned at Vincent as he settled beside her, on her right side on the bed and his right hand reached for hers. She let her fingers sink in his and her eyes met his crimson-brown ones.

“We stopped Meteor, didn’t we?” She asked.

Vincent nodded “Holy stopped Meteor. Midgar collapsed. Shinra’s rebuilding their base in Edge,”

She groaned on the last one. What wouldn’t she give to have that company falling apart? And then her fingers tightened around his as the realization hit her. Her eyes widely found him again.

“My daughter!” she groaned again as she took her hand away and rubbed her forehead “Is she okay? Is she even alive?! Where is she? Does she-” but she stopped talking when his hand found her face and his thumb stroked her cheek.

“Hester is here in the clinic. She’s the one who kept you and Sephiroth alive,” Vincent explained and she tried to think of what he meant.

 _Kept us alive?_ She looked at the tubes that were attached in her blood vessels and she tried to find where they came from. She spotted the bottles that hung on top of her hospital bed and they contained the greenish liquid. It was her serum. Hester had made more of it and fed her wounds with it so that she would heal. Jocasta chuckled. Of course, Hester would be so smart to figure it out. A single sample was all it took, and she had indeed saved them. Hester had saved her _mother_ even though Jocasta was never _there for her._ Even though Jocasta didn’t even know she _had_ a daughter.

It didn’t matter anymore. Hojo was gone, Shinra was a mess, JENOVA was gone, and Meteor was stopped. Jocasta could start again. After thirty years of trying to find her place into this world, she finally had the chance to move on. Vincent was there beside her and he looked down at her in such wonder and _love. Love._ She was ready to embrace that even though she knew that _love_ was a feeling that made her _vulnerable._ It made him vulnerable too. But he didn’t mind being _vulnerable_ to her. He was willing to take it all. Take both the pain and the excitement. The happiness and the bitterness. The crippling fear of losing these. That was _love._ An excessive amount of feelings that both _hurt_ and _pleased._ But he didn’t mind it, and she didn’t mind it either. She _loved_ him.

Her fingers pulled on his hand. He looked exhausted. He needed sleep, and the only way to have his mind at ease was with her. She was going to give him that. “Cuddle with me,” she said and he was more than willing to comply.

But he was scared. She was already too wounded. Already too fragile and his body was tense when he lied beside her. He didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want to hear her wince and hiss in pain. These were the sounds that he hated hearing coming from her.

His left, clawed hand slithered gently beneath her back. Her face wrinkled in an expression of pain as she shifted closer to him and his body tensed up again. “Jocasta, you don’t have to-”

“I’m alright, Vince,” she gave him a weak smile as she looked up at him before she buried her face in his neck as he lied beside her. Her nose brushed gently over the pale skin of his neck and she drew in his scent and closed her eyes. Her hand reached for his. His right hand responded immediately and laced their fingers together. He pressed his nose and his lips against her hair on top of her head and drew in her scent and sighed, closing his exhausted eyes.

They hadn’t cuddled like that in _days_ and it was almost _ridiculous_ to think of how much they had missed it. How much he had missed holding her like that, feeling the touch of her body against his and her fingers tangling with his. He wasn’t wearing his glove and he felt her thumb tracing his soothingly. He let himself relax for a moment. He lost himself in her again and he didn’t mind. He wanted this moment to last forever.

“Vince?”

“Hm?”

He could hear her hesitation. He opened his eyes and pulled back slightly to meet her face. “Did you…” she was almost afraid to ask, but she _needed_ to know “…did you mean it? What you told me in that cave?”

Did he? Or was just the tension of the moment that rushed the truth out before its time. Could _he love her? Yes._ Yes, he could. He _wanted_ to love her. He _wanted it so much_ his heart would _explode._ But _was he ready for that?_ That, he didn’t know. He wanted to move on with her. They had their chance and he wasn’t going to let go of it. But there were still nights that he’d hear _her_ voice. _Lucrecia’s_ voice and he didn’t know how to stop it, nor did he know if he _wanted_ to stop it.

But what he’d told her, he meant it. He could love her even more because Jocasta was so much _better._ She was so much understanding, so much considerate, so much affectionate. She had accepted _his body._ That wretched body no one would touch, love, kiss like she’d done. And he knew why she meant so much to him because if he lost her, he’d lose _everything._

He hadn’t lost her. She was _there,_ she was _okay, safe,_ and recovering. And _now_ he was holding her just like how much he wanted to hold her the past seven days. How much he wanted to hold her when he watched the doctors taking her away into their surgery rooms and closing the doors behind. His hands tightened around her, and his eyes met her magnificent grey ones and he brushed his nose against hers. His hand found her face and cupped her cheek gently. His thumb found her lower lip and he pressed his forehead against hers.

“I did. I meant it… I still do...” he too hesitated, but when he watched the tension letting go of her face, it was all the motivation that he needed to say it “…I love you, Jocasta… At least, I know I want to,”

He was being sincere. For once, he wasn't messing with her _now._ He meant it and she appreciated that more than she could ever realize. She smiled up at him. A smile that he loved watching on her lips. She leaned in and closed the gap between them, and kissed him. Her tongue brushed gently against his and he kissed her back. His hand supported her face as he rolled his lips, trapping hers between them and making a small moan escape her throat. Her fingers were clutching on the buckles of his shirt, in an effort to bring him close, but he did lean close as she wanted.

He broke the kiss though. He had to before he’d lose himself. She smiled and buried her face back in his neck. He held her tightly but careful not to hurt her. He rested his chin on top of her head as he felt her breath hitting his pale skin. The voices were silenced in their minds. She had to recover, and he had to sleep.

Finally, he’d be able to, because _now_ he knew that she was okay and that he was holding her in his arms where he knew she was safe. Even though he was still confused, he had finally told her the truth. He had finally admitted it to himself 

He loved her.

He _wanted_ to.


	54. Compassion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLIGHT incest which is not even incest cuz well... You'll see🤣🤣🤣
> 
> Song for Sephiroth and Hester: 'The Fear of Letting Go' by Ruelle

Everything seemed in place. The heartbeat was stable, the oxygen levels were stable as well. The machines around his bed beeped steadily and she took a moment to take a look at his face. It looked _finally_ at peace. He was resting. It made sense that his energy would be drained.

She had just changed the bags that hung from his hospital bed with another dose of that serum that she had been feeding his blood vessels. It coursed around his arteries and fixed and replaced tissue that the alien had _destroyed_ in his body. The pain must have been intense, but she had made sure she’d given him enough anti-inflammatory pills that would make it bearable.

Of course, there was nothing that this body couldn’t handle. That body had been in pain for as long as she’s known him. Sephiroth’s perfect features looked at peace as he rested peacefully. Hester sat beside him on the bed as she took her moment to stare at him. His hair was no longer that unnatural silver color. They were pale brown and it made sense they would be. It was the same as Dr. Lucrecia Crescent’s hair color.

Hester never knew her. She had never even been born when Dr. Crescent _disappeared_. Her father never talked about her. Hester pursed her lips as she turned at the computers at the other side of the room and she tested if there was any connection to the network. She let out a heavy sigh of relief when she realized that the lines were down ever since Meteor. It made sense, since everything had been destroyed during Meteorfall, and Shinra was too much of a mess to restore the internet.

But she was relieved by that. She _had done it._ She had done everything that old, wretched man had asked her to and he’d promised her to leave her alone. Growing up with Hojo wasn’t an easy situation. But he was indeed the only one she had. She had become a Biotechnologist, like _he_ wanted her to be, and she had tried her best to be _perfect._ She had tried. She had _tried._

Hojo was never pleased, though. He wanted her to do _more and more._ She was _the perfect_ child as he called her but she was never _enough_. She had numerous certificates on _everything._ She was twenty-seven years old and all she’d done in her life was study and sleep on top of the counters of Shinra’s labs.

She’d spent her childhood alongside Hojo in his labs where he showed her first hand his experiments. He was _brilliant_ but nothing mattered to him more than his experiments and his job. Even _her_. He didn’t consider her anything more than a subject. A tool that he thought would continue his work. And she’d come believe that at some point in her life. He had almost convinced her that that’s how a child should be treated. That his idea of her was something that she had to make real. He wasn’t a good father. He _wasn’t._ He made her feel useless. He pulled all the pressure on her shoulders all these years. He wanted _perfection._ And she tried. She tried her best. At first, it was difficult, but then she got used to it.

And then there was Sephiroth. The other _perfect child._ Shinra sent him in to fight a war while he was still a teenager, and he came back as a War Hero, respected excessively ever since. Everybody looked up to him. Every single candidate in SOLDIER wanted to become like him. And she wouldn’t blame them.

She grew up alongside Sephiroth into the Shinra HQ. Hojo stopped experimenting on him when he realized _there was nothing left to do to him._ Sephiroth would often talk to her about it. About the things that Hojo used to do to him as a kid. Sephiroth wasn’t one to open up so easily, but they’d spent their childhoods together and back then they only had each other, until he got friends with the other two First Class SOLDIERs.

And that’s when things got _messed up._ The Nibelheim Incident where _she lost him_. That was five years ago and so many things had occurred in between, and Sephiroth had caused half of them.

Hester had examined Jocasta’s serum. _Her mother’s_ serum. She chuckled bitterly. It almost sounded _ridiculous._ She’d grown up without a mother and she was doing _damn_ well without her. She didn’t need that figure. Sephiroth did though, but he’d stopped talking about it long ago. But those _serums…_ they were _miraculous_. Hester had examined them again and again and figured out how they worked. She figured out how to make more milliliters of them.

And _Sephiroth._ He was restrained just because the people that brought him there had insisted, he’d be. And it made sense to be restrained, but Hester had no doubt. Jocasta… _her mother_ had brought him back. No one had ever thought to do _that_ before. No one had thought to create an antidote. To use the alien’s genome against it. Jocasta had created antibodies based on the alien’s genome, that spotted the alien cells, and attached onto them and _destroyed_ them.

It was _brilliant._ Simply brilliant and Hester couldn’t help that rush of adrenaline. She couldn’t help that _excitement_ that was _science._ She was a scientist, and her father, Hojo, was the most brilliant mind in the field. She couldn’t _not_ look up to him even though he _used_ her to achieve his wicked plans. But what Jocasta had done… it seemed like she was the very first one who had decoded the alien’s genome. She was the one who had grasped how that being worked, because if Hojo was really the one who had figured it out, he would’ve done this too. But he hadn’t, and it made her rethink everything about that man all over.

She hated him in the first place for all the things that he’d done to Sephiroth. And Sephiroth was the only reason that she’d respect her _mother._ Jocasta had laid down her own life to save him. If Jocasta had indeed _brought_ him back to her, she would be more than grateful.

“Hester…?”

Her eyes widened as the familiar voice spelled out her name. She turned around to check if he was actually awake. Maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her. But it wasn’t. His eyes found her, but they were no longer that piercing green, unnatural color. They were brown. _Crimson-brown_. He had changed indeed, but only in the appearance. She was sure that he was still _him._ He was finally himself. Free of that alien that manipulated his mind and twisted it to its will to make him do whatever it wanted.

Hester’s hazel eyes found his an she hurried towards him. He recognized her. He would never forget her. All these years that they’d spent together in the headquarters of that _wretched_ company, they only had each other. The only person he actually ever trusted. He’d tell her everything and she’d tell him everything too.

He was so relieved that she was there. Sephiroth’s head fell back on the pillows as he exhaled sharply. His eyes examined the room. He was in a hospital and that was pretty much obvious. There were no voices in his mind. No whispers asking him _to kill, to burn, to destroy, to dominate._ Stuff he _didn’t want_ to do, but he had no choice. There was nothing in his mind. There was peace, but confusion. But _finally,_ after such a long time, there was peace. It felt too silent.

His hand found his forehead and he rubbed the insistent ache away. He felt the pull of tubes and needles attached to his veins and Hester hurried towards him and pushed his hand down, trying to keep them steady.

“Whoah, take it easy!” Hester said as she turned his hand and checked on the needles.

Her fingers traced over his skin. Brushing over the muscles and the bulging veins of his forearm as she settled the needles back in place. She bit her lip and he recognized that focused expression on her face. Her glasses were settled neatly on top of the bridge of her nose, and her long brown hair were wrapped back into a tight braid. Her eyes were surrounded by circles. She must’ve not slept for a long time.

Before her hands had the chance to let go of his, his fingers caught hers between them, urging her eyes to finally meet his. He couldn’t help but _stare._ It felt like it’s been such a long time. Such a long time since he’d held her hand. So long since the last time he’d even touched her. Her fingers were cold and trembling, and his were warm and she wanted to lace them together.

But it was wrong. _It was so, so wrong._ It was wrong because Hojo was his father and her father as well. She wanted to _kiss_ him like she’d done the last time she had seen him. It was that early, cold morning when she watched him leave for the Nibelheim mission. She had tangled her fingers in his hair. He had clutched his into her white lab coat. She knew back then that it was _wrong._ It was _sinful_. They were siblings. But she couldn’t tell him. He didn’t know and she couldn’t tell him. Hojo wouldn’t let her. Maybe it was best if he didn’t know back then. But what about _now?_ So many things had changed.

She had changed and so did he. Hester gritted her teeth as she pulled her hand away. She tore her fingers away from his and she hurried over the computers and machines that were settled around him.

“H- how’re you feeling?” Hester asked as she tried to focus on the keyboard as her hands danced skillfully on the buttons and the computer’s screen flickered on her hazel eyes.

Sephiroth’s hands lifted the bedsheets and looked down at himself. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and it wasn’t needed. Large, tight bandages were tied all around his torso, his chest, his shoulders. And then it all came back to him. He remembered summoning Meteor. He remembered that fight in that cave. When that alien had trapped his conscience in the deepest parts of his mind. He remembered himself, screaming, trying to break free. Trying to grasp the control of his own body. And that kept happening again, and again. He was in that fight for so long. Even though he’d been trapped into these Mako Crystals for _who knows_ how long, he felt _exhausted_. He didn’t know for _how long_ he lost the control. He didn’t know. He couldn’t tell.

But _now_ his mind was finally at peace. Even with the stinging pain on his muscles as they tried to regenerate the cells that he was missing. The parts of his body that the alien had _consumed._ A parasite indeed.

“Where am I?” he asked as he turned his attention back at her figure as she kept checking the machinery, trying her best to avoid him.

“Mideel’s clinic,” Hester answered. She pulled on a grin on her face as she turned and looked at him teasingly “You don’t feel like a bloodthirsty maniac who wants to burn down a town and dominate the world, do you?”

He took his moment to look at her “I would’ve known if I felt that way,”

“Good!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

In the next few days, Jocasta spent them bed-ridden, till every single position on the bed felt uncomfortable. Her limbs were aching to move, to get up. She wanted to walk, to move her hands, to move the muscles on her shoulders and her belly. So long as she didn't, she felt paralyzed. Jocasta knew that it was possibly for the best. The wound on her stomach and her back still ached intensely, and every little toss and turn she made, on the hospital bed, was a difficult, painful case.

Hester would come in her room and change the bags of her serum. She kept feeding her body with it, and Jocasta could feel so much better by the day. Tifa was still somewhere around, bringing her trays with food, and Jocasta assumed, Cloud was still somewhere in Mideel too. She hadn't seen him, maybe things would be too awkward for him if he was supposed to confront the woman that he'd stabbed to death. But he never planned to harm her. Jocasta was a member of his team, he'd never do that to any member of that team. They were like a family. Maybe that's why he postponed seeing her as much as he could.

Jocasta had asked Tifa to let him know that she wasn't mad at him, and the more the time passed, the more she reminded her that. Tifa didn't seem pretty keen into talking about Cloud. He was a mess and it made sense he'd be. Aerith's death had done a number on them all, but mostly on him. He had just realized that his best friend had given his life for him, and he couldn't help but blame himself for Aerith's and Zack's lives. Not to mention the blame that he put on himself because of Jocasta's current state.

But Vincent was there, and not once did he leave her side. He couldn't leave her even if he wanted to. He wanted to make sure she had everything she needed, call for the doctors if she'd need them, hold her when the pain was intense and her body would tremble from the fever that she occasionally had. He was with her and even though she was in pain, those few days were the best of her life. And that, because he was there, and she couldn't even express to him how grateful she was for that.

Cid was probably back in Rocket Town. Finally, he would be proposing to Shera again, _properly this time_. Jocasta chuckled on the thought. _Oh, Cid_. _This incredible son of a bitch._ He was another reason she had survived. He was the only one who possessed the skill to pilot the Highwind within the harsh winds and the frost, and the treacherous terrain of the Northern Crater. He saved her too, and she had to thank him somehow. She didn't know how, but she'd find a way.

Vincent was out for hunting that night, and Jocasta laid alone in her room. The nurses and Hester checked up on her, before they left her with the lights closed and the faint sound of the stable beeping of the machinery around her. Those machines looked quite different than the ones that she'd learned using thirty years ago. _Of course, they would be_ , but some features were the same and she knew she could learn using them if she put her mind to it.

She wasn't tired and the bed and the pillows were far too soft for her. All these years on the run while Shinra chased her, she was so used to sleeping in dark, moist caves, pointy stones, and harsh soils. A bed was a luxury that she couldn't possess for so long and she'd gotten used to it.

She shot these thoughts away and closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She couldn't sleep though. She wasn't tired. There was barely anything to tire her since she was on the bed all day. She hadn't gotten so much sleep in her entire life. Especially when Vincent was there, which _now_ was almost always. Her demons were in ease when he was with her. But _now_ Vincent wasn't there. He had to go hunting because keeping his beasts restrained for long, was dreadful, and tiring for his body and mind.

She still hated the absence of hands around her. Those little shivers the cold, golden steel of his gauntlet, raised wherever he'd touch her body with his left hand. Those sharp claws of it. Sharp enough to cut through rough metal, but when he'd touch her, his hands would tremble on the thought of hurting her. It made sense he'd be afraid. She must've been looking so breakable, and fragile to him, especially _now_ that she was like this.

With her entrails torn apart, being rebuilt slowly each day. There was some progress. _Lots of progress_. She would be off the bed soon because her own self-healing was providing a hand, and with the advanced serum rushing in her veins, she knew she would be fine the next few months.

It was still unbelievable though. They had stopped Meteor. They had defeated JENOVA and Sephiroth was alive. He was still alive somewhere inside that clinic. He was so close yet so far away. Her wounds wouldn't let her go to him. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to let him know that she was sorry that she failed to save him so long ago. That she knew she was the reason. She was so weak back then, and she was the reason he had suffered so much. She wanted to apologize. She knew that an apology wouldn't be enough. Before she let the guilt _drown her,_ she reminded herself that part of his _damnation_ was his parents' fault. _Lucrecia's fault._

She knew that giving her life for him, maybe it wouldn't be enough. But she would do more. She would try to make it up to him. She would try to clean her conscience off her sins and move on. She knew that this was the only way to move on. She had to make it up to her daughter too. _Gosh_ , it wasn't her fault she wasn't there for her.

Or maybe it was. She knew what Hojo was up to when he dug in and created that ugly scar on the soft tissue of her lower abdomen. She just didn't know if he'd gotten through with it. How could she? She was running for her life back then. Shinra was the one chasing her, and returning back into their HQ where she'd escaped from, would be a suicide mission that she didn't have the skill to handle back then.

But that shout Hester had let out when Vincent shot Hojo… that was something that haunted her. Why would she shout like that? Did Hojo mean something to her? That monster? That man? The man that had most possibly made her life miserable? _No_. There was something more to it. There was something wrong going on. Hojo could fix something that she couldn’t. Or maybe he knew something that she wanted him to tell her. There was no other explanation as to why she'd say that.

_"He's the only one I've got!"_

Or maybe Jocasta should stop thinking like this. Hojo was indeed the only one she had. No mother, no other family. Jocasta had let her grow up in the hands of that _madman_. And then that guilt crept back to her, and her fingers fisted around the bedsheets. Another life that she had failed to save. Why did she have to keep failing all the time? Why did it all have to hurt so bad?

But then she tried to think of how she _hadn't_ failed to save Sephiroth. That was the only thing that she had done _right_ and then again, she still had to apologize. She still had to let him know that she knew she was the one who had left him unprotected. Her actions pushed her in Hojo's labs where she knew she couldn't escape. She knew she would end up in there.

Her fingers traced her forearms. _Scars_. _So many of them._ Hojo was gone. She let out a sigh. Even in death he haunted her like a ghost that she knew she’d never be able to escape from. But it was such a relief to know that she wasn't the only _freak_. She wasn’t the only _beast_ with a demon forced into her body. She wouldn't call Vincent, nor herself a _monster_ , because they weren't. He _wasn't_ and that was for sure. But she wasn't sure about herself. She was still a scientist, and at some point, Cloud was right. Scientists can be dangerous. She was still capable of monstrous actions. She was still capable of _chaos_ and _destruction_ just a much as Hojo was.

She shook her head. She wasn't gonna enter the labs again. Shinra had already sent a note. They were searching for a new head of their Department of Research and Development. _No_. She wasn't going to enter Shinra's labs ever again. They would ask her to do things that she wouldn't be able to.

She groaned. She was overthinking stuff again. She was hurting her own feelings with her own mind and she knew that this was a bad habit that she couldn't shake away. Especially _now_ that she was unable to sleep, unable to move, alone in the darkness of her room, and she could do nothing but lie there, and wait for her wounds to heal.

Jocasta turned around. Her face wrinkled into an expression of pain as she tried to turn in the left side. The pain radiated from her stomach to her back, and then to her entire body. Her teeth gritted and she groaned. Her eyes shut as she finally settled on the left side. Her fingers loosened their tight grasp that the pain had caused her to make around her bedsheets. She buried her one hand beneath her pillow and she pressed her face onto the soft, cool fabric. She felt comfort and relief at the change of her position. It was worth the pain.

She tried to ignore the voices in her mind. She was so used to it. Jocasta closed her eyes and she tried to sleep. There was no use in staying up and overthinking, even though she knew, that sleeping alone, it meant _nightmares._

She sighed. She could handle a night, or two. She only hoped Vincent would be back soon. It was _ridiculous_ to think of how much she _needed_ him. She couldn’t _sleep_ without him, she couldn’t move and shift on the very bed, without his help.

She was so vulnerable indeed and she hated that. She was never the kind of woman that would let herself openhandedly in the embrace of a man and let him do everything for her. She was never used to being so _helpless. No._ She was never helpless. But _now… now_ she was. She was, and she hated to admit it. She was helpless for Vincent and she hated how much she _needed_ him.

She just had to accept it. She couldn’t _live_ without him and the thought terrified her. The thought of losing him. _It terrified her._

It didn’t take long when he came. He tried his best not to walk heavily on the white marble of the Hospital’s floor. The sabatons weren’t helping in keeping quiet, but he’d learned how to do it. It was unbelievable she was even sleeping. But when he approached her, he noticed her body twitching and flinching. Her eyes shutting tight, her face wrinkling in expressions of fear, pain, despair. Another nightmare that she was having.

He suddenly felt bad for not being back there sooner. If he hadn’t taken much time and held her while she still was awake, she wouldn’t be having that nightmare. A nightmare that made her body tremble, and twitch and turn. There was that expression of pain on her face whenever she’d turn and toss, trying to escape from the nightmare that her demon wasn’t letting her to.

He sighed and looked down at his bloody glove. He’d hunted that night. He’d let out those wretched beasts that resided into his body. He’d set them loose to feast on whatever stood on their way and he was left drained and exhausted in the middle of nowhere. He’d dragged himself back to the clinic. Back to _her._ How could someone ever _love_ this? It was a _miracle_ that Jocasta _loved_ him. It was a miracle that she _meant_ it when she said it, and he’d never get tired of hearing of it.

He took off his glove and his sabatons and lied beside her as quietly as he could. He could hear nothing but her little breathy mumbles and the shifting of her body on the mattress. The twitching of her muscles and that painful expression on her face. He hated watching her suffering like that. He hated watching her having nightmares. Nightmares that would end up with having her crying and sobbing, and clutching on him. He hated watching her cry.

He took off his cloak and slipped beneath the bedsheets beside her. The bed was small for both of them, but that wouldn’t stop him. Nothing would stop him from giving her that affection that he _longed_ to give. The affection that she _needed_ of him. He passed a trembling hand around her. He was _so scared_ , so scared to hurt her. Every little move of his could harm her and the thought terrified him. It made his body stiff and his hands wobbly.

But when he saw the tension loosening on her face, her let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Her body shifted closer to him, letting him know that she needed him to hold her. She needed him _closer._ And he needed her closer too. And so, he did. His hands slithered around her and brought her closer. She let out a small wince before her fingers clutched on the straps of his shirt and her face nuzzled in his neck.

His hand reached her hair. His fingers brushed into them and slid over her back, caressing soothingly. She let out a breath and she lifted her head up at him to meet his eyes. A tear was sliding down her cheek and he immediately leaned in and kissed it away. His hand found her face and kept her steady as he pulled back and looked down at her. She smiled up at him, gratefully.

He didn’t know what nightmares she had been having, but her hands reached around his shoulders and pulled him closer. She buried her face in his neck and she let out a sob that shuddered him to the core. His hands reached around her waist. His fingers brushed over the tight bandages that she had around her, and he tried his best to be as gentle as possible.

He felt her breath caressing the skin of his neck as her hands sneaked beneath his shirt. Cold, trembling fingers clutched on his shoulders, as he buried his face in her shoulder and closed his eyes, listening to her silent weeping and crying. He hated watching her being like that. But he was there _now_ for her. She didn’t know how to express her gratitude for that.

“Vincent…”

“I’m here,” his hand found her hair, as he caressed her back.

 _I’ll always be._


	55. Friends and Family

The morning light entered the window and reached his thick eyelids. He opened his eyes and blinked them a couple of times to aid his sensitive sight to adjust to it. He looked down and his eyes met Jocasta’s body curled over against his. Her hair fell messily on her face. Her forehead was pressed against the straps of his shirt on his chest, and his hands were around her. They had been all night, and she was still sleeping there peacefully.

He felt his fingers buried into her hair as he debated on whether he should move. Maybe if he did, he’d wake her, and he didn’t want to. Her eyelids rested neatly on top of each other, her soft rhythmic breathing brushed his chin, her lips were slightly parted, as he looked down at her. He took a moment to appreciate her elegant features. She was so peaceful. No flinching and crying from nightmares. She looked _perfect._ It was unbelievable to think of how he was the one who had brought that _peace_ to her. It was unbelievable to think of something that he’d done _right_.

Being there with her, was the only thing he knew he was doing _right._ Vincent pressed a kiss on top of her head. His lips touched her hair and drew in her scent and closed his eyes. His heart hammered against his chest. It was beating loudly for _her._ He could finally trust someone that much. He finally had somebody who was _willing_ to _love_ him. Somebody that he wouldn’t mind being _exposed_ to.

It still felt early to say he _loved her._ But he had a feeling he _did._ He _did_ love her. He was sure that he _wanted_ to love her. He wanted her so much, and he'd realized it boldly the night before he nearly lost her. She had accepted him the way he was. She had loved him that night in ways he never thought anyone would. And then he nearly lost her, and he'd been frightened ever since. A wince coming from her, snapped him away from his thoughts, and he pulled his hands away immediately. He realized his hold was too tight around her. He didn’t know _why._ Maybe it was his mind, inevitably, drifting his thoughts onto that night that he'd nearly lost her. He couldn’t stop that thought even though he knew _now_ that she was safe.

She raised her head and looked up at him. He had that _panic_ on his face when she winced, but she gave him a smile. When her hand found his cheek, cupping it gently, that tension was released and he let out a sigh.

“I’m alright,” she giggled cutely “Don’t worry, you’re not hurting me,” Her thumb stroked his cheek and he savored every single little movement of it. He had that troubled expression on his face. He was probably overthinking again. She chuckled. That was another thing that they had similar. Her thumb found his chin and pulled on it to make him lean closer to her.

His lips caught hers immediately. He rolled them against hers lustily, trapping them in a sweet dance for a small moment. He kissed and pulled on the rosy skin till it was puffy and swollen. He needed _more_ His tongue found its way inside her mouth. She let out a small moan as her tongue met his. She felt his fingers tightening in her hair and pulling her head back slightly exposing her neck. His lips let go off hers and he dragged wet, sloppy kisses down her chin, her cheekbone. She let him pull her head back and she couldn’t help but close her eyes and savor the tiny little kisses that he started planting on her skin. His lips found her neck and she shivered when he pulled her skin gently between his lips, suckling on it, and leaving it rosy and marked.

For a moment, she had forgotten the pain on her stomach and her back and all she could feel was those kisses and that suckling on her neck. His hand had slipped down her thigh. She felt the metal of his gauntlet as his hand gently slithered on her exposed thigh. _Cold._ It made her shiver. Her hands reached for his hair. He let out a low groan when he felt her fingers tightening around the roots of it.

Vincent had to remind himself that she was still wounded, and she still needed her time to heal. And that’s when he pulled back and looked up at her. He muffled her tense panting with another kiss. He let out a small growl against her lips as her tongue swirled sweetly against his. He felt so lost in it. He felt so lost in _her._ And he wanted to remain lost in her for as long as he could. He dragged that kiss long enough, and she didn’t seem to mind. Her hands were tight around his shoulders and she let out another giggle against his lips that made him want to kiss her harder.

“Holy Leviathan! I came right on the good stuff!”

 _No. No, it can’t be._ That was Yuffie’s voice. And then her laughter came loud and irritating. Vincent immediately fended away and he was on his feet in a blink of an eye. Jocasta felt the heat on her cheeks and she hated she had nowhere to hide it, unlike Vincent, who had that _pretty practical_ collar of his cloak.

Yuffie rolled a chair beside the bed and she settled on it with her elbows pressing on her exposed thighs and her face resting on top of her hands. She let out a sound of disappointment.

“No! Don’t lemme stop you, guys. Please, do go on!”

Jocasta rolled her eyes and parted her lips to start scolding at the young ninja, but Vincent spoke first “Yuffie. What are you doing here?”

“Came to check if ma dramaqueen’s alive! Looks more than alive, really,” she let out a giggle and a mischievous expression caught her face.

Jocasta shook her head. _I fuckin’ hate teenagers._ “Well, you saw me, I’m alive, now you're free to bounce outta here,”

“Aw c’mon, dramaqueen! You’re like that boring, grumpy, overmatured sister that hates the youngest child of the fam!”

Vincent chuckled and Jocasta shot him a look. Maybe her ears could’ve fooled her but _had he actually chuckled on that one?_

“Besides I came a long way to see you, ya know!” Yuffie protested.

“Who brought you?” Jocasta asked.

“Ha! My old man Cid gave me a ride! He’s here with Shera and-”

“Who did you call an old man, brat?!” Cid’s familiar voice came as he barged into her room with Shera following closely behind and another man that she didn’t quite recognize.

Jocasta didn’t take her moment to examine him and see if she knew him as she smelled the familiar smell of cigar as Cid approached her. He ignored Yuffie and settled on a chair beside her on the other side of the hospital bed. She was so glad to see them. Shera wasn’t wearing her lab coat. She was wearing a dark blue skirt that reached just above her knees and a white t-shirt on top. Cid was wearing another pair of the mechanic’s suit. He had probably flown the Highwind there.

“Holy shit! You’re fuckin’ alive! That guy on the front said you’re doing real well!” Cid said with his loud voice.

“That was Dr. Alford, darling,” Shera reminded him sliding a hand over his shoulder.

“Yeah, that asshole!” Cid said before he turned his attention back to Jocasta “How’re you fuckin’ feeling, Joe?!”

Jocasta laughed amusingly. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed Cid’s senseless cursing. “I’m doing quite well, Cid,” Jocasta said as she watched Shera settling beside her on the bed.

“Well, that’s so good to fuckin’ know, Joe!” Cid said excitedly.

“Excuse me,” the other man said from behind. He was dressed formally in a black jacket, tie and pants, and a white shirt beneath. He had a black beard that covered half his face and black hair. His dark brown eyes found her as he extended a hand for a handshake “It’s an honor to finally meet you in person, Dr. Ernchester. I’m Reeve Tuesti, or else, Cait Sith,”

“Whoah!” Jocasta couldn’t keep the surprise back. She shook his hand and she gave him a smile “The Head of Shinra’s Urban Development if I’m correct?”

Reeve returned the smile “Not for long. I'm going to quit, work on something new that I’m hoping you could help me with,”

Jocasta chuckled “We’ll see, Reeve. And please, call me ‘Joe’, no need for the formalities,”

He smiled and nodded. “Alright, Joe,”

Jocasta raised an eyebrow as she watched Cid’s hands searching for his pack of cigarettes on the pockets of his suit. “You know smoking is prohibited within the clinic, don’t you?” a smile caught her lips.

“Nah fuck ‘em rules!” He placed the cigarette between his lips anyway, and he tried to light it up with his lighter, but Shera grabbed it off his mouth before he had the chance to do it. Cid turned around. His hands reached for it but she pulled it away “Shera! What the fuck!? Gimme my goddamn cigarette!”

“What did we say about smoking, Cid?” Shera asked as she shot him a deadly look at made him sigh and pull his hands away.

“ _No more smoking,_ ” he repeated.

“Exactly, sweetie,” Shera gave him a smile. A hand found his one rough, unshaved cheek as she pulled his face closer and she leaned and pressed a loud kiss on the other.

Cid sighed and gave her a look “You, manipulative, gorgeous bitch,” and Shera started laughing amusingly. He turned at Vincent “How can I fuckin’ not do everything she fuckin’ wants when she’s being like that?!”

Vincent nodded in understanding. He knew how it felt. He too would do anything for Jocasta and all she’d have to do was ask.

“Oh, Joe, Dr. Hester said Sephiroth is awake,” Shera reminded them.

At that, Jocasta’s eyes widened. She lifted her body on sitting position and she was surprised that she didn’t feel the stinging pain that she knew it hit her when she moved like that. But she wasn’t focused on her wounds. She was focusing on the fact that Sephiroth was awake. He was finally awake. She would finally be able to talk to him. She would finally be able to talk to that little boy she’d loved so much so long ago. She knew he was no longer the little boy she remembered.

He must’ve had so many questions. He must’ve been so confused. He probably remembered everything he’d done, but he knew that he couldn’t do otherwise. He probably knew that he was being used. He wasn’t _himself_ when he did all of these. She had to get up, she had to get to him. She wanted to talk to him. She _needed to._

But a bunch of pairs of hands pushed her back down, pinning her on the mattress.

“Joe, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“What’re ya doing, dramaqueen!?!”

“I need to see him!” Jocasta said as she looked at the five people who were standing on top of her.

“Ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?! Ya can’t even fuckin’ walk!” Cid cried out.

“Old man’s right, dramaqueen,” Yuffie said as she settled back on her chair, and so did Cid and Shera.

“You _will_ get to see him, but you need to take it easy,” Shera said.

Jocasta groaned irritatingly “I’ve been bed-ridden for a week,”

“Well, that must suck!” Yuffie commented as she stuffed a finger in her nostril and started picking her nose boringly.

Jocasta grinned. _Wasn’t that the hand she’d used to push me back down?_

“It’s for the best,” Vincent caught her attention and she sighed. She knew he was right and she had to listen to him.

“Yeah! At least, ya got Vinnie,” Cid said.

Jocasta smiled at Vincent and she rested her hands back down on the mattress. Cid had a point. She did have him there. He did not leave her side not once those few days. She didn’t mind the pain, and the boredom. She had him _there._ She was grateful for that. She was grateful that he was finally realizing his feelings. _Sure,_ he’d need more time, and she was willing to wait for as long as it took. Just like he was waiting _now_ for her to heal.

“I do,”

Cid noticed the two taking their moment to stare at each other and he got up. “Alright, people! Let’s give these two lovebirds their privacy!”

“What the fuck you talking about, I just got here!” Another voice came from the door and everybody turned to see Barret and a little girl in a pink dress beside him.

“Uncle Cid!” She cried out and she ran towards him.

“Where’s ma little rocket scientist!” Cid cried out as the little girl landed on his arms and he pulled the little girl up with ease.

She giggled as he looked up at her, and Shera caressed the little girl’s back “What’s a rocket scientist?” Marlene asked confusedly.

“A rocket scientist is the most fuckin’-”

“Cid!” Shera scolded but he ignored her.

“…badass job you could ever have, kid!” Cid said.

While Cid and Shera played with the little girl, already acting like parents, Barret approached Jocasta and asked how she felt. Jocasta met the little girl. She was surprising herself of how well she was doing with Marlene. It was strange because Jocasta never considered herself good with kids. _Who am I kidding?_ She was good with Sephiroth when he was little. She couldn’t _not_ be. Not when he’d stare at her like that with those wide, bright green eyes.

Those would be a different color _now._ She couldn’t wait to see what color they’d be. It could tell _a lot_.

Jocasta took her time to heal. Sephiroth was progressing much better than she did, but he couldn’t come to see her. He was still restrained. At least, that’s what Hester told her whenever she’d enter to check up on her. Things between them were still _awkward._ Hester didn’t talk a lot, and Jocasta didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know her own daughter. She didn’t know what to do. But she knew that she would do something when she’d get off that bed.

Jocasta started _slowly._ She started by walking at first. Shera or Tifa was there to give her a hand. Shera would pass her one hand around her shoulders and the goal was to walk from one wall to the other. The first time was tricky. Shera and Tifa were both there, and Cid with Barret and Marlene had gone out to order some food from the local restaurants because _no one liked hospital food anyway._

It felt like she had no feet at all. Jocasta’s fingers clutched on Vincent’s shirt as she tried to pick herself up. His hands were around her, ready _to pick her up should she fall_. She let out a grunt as her feet trembled, trying to take on her weight. She wasn’t heavy. She was sure she had lost some weight. Vincent thought so too. Her waist and her hands were much thinner than they used to be.

Hester had detached all of the needles and tubes out of her body. Her wounds were mostly healed. The pain was barely still there, but her muscles felt difficult to move. Her legs felt wobbly as she tried to stand on her feet. For a moment, she thought she was going to fall. She was going to crash on the floor and have her sensitive organs breaking apart again. Her hands were clenching hard on Vincent’s shirt.

He noticed her panic. His hand found her face. His warm fingers spread on her cheek and her whole attention fell on him. Her eyes focused on his and her body stopped trembling for a minute.

“Jocasta, you’re not going to fall. I’ll catch you,” Vincent said reassuringly. And he was right. His hands were around her. He was prepared to _catch_ her. He was there for her. He was _there_ and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to thank him.

Jocasta nodded “Alright,” she drew in a deep breath as she felt a drop of sweat rolling down her forehead. Her hand slithered around his shoulders and his hand passed around her waist.

She wore a sleeveless, greenish gown of Shera’s, above the bandages that were tied around her waist. Tifa was waiting a few steps away. She was the first _stop_ that she’d make and Shera was no further away.

With a little bit of stumbling, and falling, and wincing, she did good for a first day. That went on for a couple of days, but Jocasta was grateful she had the team there. They were like a family. Vincent was getting very well along with Marlene. Jocasta had to admit to herself that it was cute the way he tried to answer her curious questions properly. He’d kneel to her height and every so often, he’d let a _smile,_ a chuckle. Marlene was a bright, little eight-year-old that everybody adored and Jocasta couldn’t help but adore too.

It was strange to think of how a few months before, she had no one, and _now… now_ she had a family. She had friends. She had Vincent. She was so grateful for all of these. _So grateful._


	56. A Real Mother

She hadn’t realized what a privilege _walking_ could be. She was finally able to move. Her feet were no longer wobbly. Her fingers traced her exposed belly. There was no longer need for bandages. But she had added another scar in her vast collection of them. Another ugly scar spread across her belly and her back.

But she could get off the bed _now._ She could walk. And the first thing she did, when she achieved walking, was head towards Sephiroth’s room. Tifa brought her some clothes first. Shera helped her get dressed up. Even the slightest movement of her shoulders and her back brought pain. She would wince and hiss, and grit her teeth. Vincent was with Barret and Cid. Cid had suggested they go grab a drink. Cloud was still nowhere to be seen, and Tifa wasn’t talking about it. Jocasta noted to herself to find him and let him know _that everything was alright._ That it wasn’t his fault. Neither Aerith’s or Zack’s deaths were his fault. That drowning in _sins_ and _guilt_ was simply life-consuming and depressive. _Depression is never the answer._

Shera and Tifa helped her put on the grey t-shirt and the black, flexible pants that they had bought for her. Jocasta wouldn’t stop giving those _thank you(s)_ and those words of gratitude. They really owed her _nothing_ to treat her _that_ well. Tifa was spending time with Marlene, and Shera was still somewhere around in her room.

Jocasta sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was still long, and pitch-black. Her eyes were still grey. Her body was thinner than before. He wouldn’t recognize her if Sephiroth saw her _now. But_ she sighed. So many things had happened since the last time she’d seen him. He probably wouldn’t even remember her. He was still a three-year-old boy when she knew him.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned and looked at Shera. She gave her a smile “Nervous?” she asked.

Jocasta sighed again and she shook her head. “He won’t recognize me,”

“Well, maybe he will, maybe he won’t. He has to know you’re the one who saved him. It’s the truth-” Shera tried to say but Jocasta cut her.

“No. I failed the first time. They caught us. They took him from me. It was my fault I couldn’t save him back then-”

“But you saved him now,” Shera insisted and Jocasta turned at her. “His own mother didn’t think to do that when she had the chance. But you did. You brought him back. You gave him a _chance_ and it nearly cost your life. So, stop being stupid and saying that you _failed_ ,”

Jocasta let out a breath that she’d been holding for an _unknown_ reason. She was right. Shera was right. She should stop being _stupid._ She should stop blaming herself for everything. Even agreeing with her, she still knew that the moment she’d step into his room, she’d start crying. She’d _collapse_ and lose her words, and she would either want to hug him or she’d be afraid to touch him because it made sense that he’d pull away. He wouldn’t recognize her.

He wouldn’t recognize the woman _that’d given her life for him_. And it was okay. She wasn’t expecting him to. She wasn’t expecting him to _thank her, smile at her, hug her._ She didn’t expect any of these. She just wanted to know that he was willing to grasp the chance that she had given him. The new life that he deserved to have.

Jocasta turned around, and she headed towards the door of her room. She hadn’t noticed this would be the first time she would walk out of her room. It had been days that she’d been bed-ridden, and actually meeting _strangers_ that walked around the corridors, was a feeling she hadn’t had for a while. A few of the oldest nurses recognized her. They stopped to exchange a quick word before they continued their tasks.

Hester had told her that he was on room number 474. So, Jocasta made her way there. But when she looked at the number on the door, she took her moment before she knocked. Her hand hesitated and she didn’t know why she was hesitating. She didn’t know if she should be nervous or _frightened._ Obviously, he wasn’t a threat to her, but the tears were already on top of her lower eyelids. Maybe it was _happiness_? Maybe she was happy that she would finally see him.

After all this time, she would finally get her chance to apologize. To take that weight off her shoulders. But she was _frightened._ Frightened on the thought that he wouldn’t accept her apology. That he wasn’t even going to recognize her. She didn’t know why she wanted him to so badly. Maybe she _needed_ to know that she was important to him. Just as important as he was to her.

Jocasta knocked before she grabbed the handle and walked in. Hester was there. She was typing skillfully on the computers. Sephiroth was no longer restrained. He was standing by the window of his room. The morning light of the sun hit his eyes. His back was turned at her. He must’ve been deep in thought, but she knew Sephiroth was never the talkative kind anyway. His hair was pale brown. Exactly like Lucrecia’s. Jocasta knew that having him around would remind her a lot of her long-gone foster sister.

His hands were crossed against his chest. _Of course_ , his reflexes caught the sound of footsteps as he turned around and his crimson-brown eyes spotted her at the entrance of his room. There was something oddly familiar about the woman that had just entered his room. Hester had told him that somebody would be meeting him that day. She had purchased a pair of clothes for him from the local stores. A tricky task, considering the effort it took to find a shirt and pants that would fit his masculine, enhanced body.

Jocasta couldn’t keep the smile that had reached her lips. Through all the mess that they’d been through, she hadn’t taken the moment to appreciate how much he’d grown. How much tall, and handsome he’d become. The bangs of pale brown hair that fell on his face, reminded her of Lucrecia’s. His eyes no longer had that piercing green that intimidated and threatened.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Hester said before she exited the room and closed the door behind.

His face looked at peace, but still troubled. His eyes kept examining her. Her face, her body, her figure. She made a step closer, but he made a step back. He was _afraid._ It all seemed so _foreign._ He had no voices in his mind. His body had healed, no longer in pain. Things seemed _too good_ to be real. Maybe it was another trick that that alien was playing with his mind again. An alien that he once called _mother._ He’d given it so much thought the past few days. Hester was there with him, and that eased the tension. He trusted her. He’d let himself to her blindly because _he loved her._ And he did for so long. But she would push away and she wouldn’t tell him _why._

Maybe _he_ was the reason _why_ she pulled away. Maybe she was _afraid_ of him. His Mako enhanced, and JENOVA infused body. Who wouldn’t be afraid of a man bred for war? But this woman in front of him _now_ seemed more like she was going to _cry_ than _run away_ from him. There was still something so oddly familiar about her. He genuinely felt like he knew her. Maybe he’d seen her somewhere. Hester did say somebody that he once knew would come to visit him that day.

Her lips parted as she tried to speak. He had just made a step back. Away from her. She wasn’t going to hurt him. She’d never hurt him. “It’s alright…” she extended a hand forwards and the other found her chest “…Sephiroth… it’s me… Joe,”

The sound of that small, single syllable, brought everything back to him. He used to call her that _so long ago._ It felt like it’d been a lifetime. But he still remembered everything. He remembered those nights that she’d sneak into his room. Back when he was still a little three-year-old boy. But he still remembered. How could he ever forget? These were the only days in his life that he actually _liked_ back then. These were the only days that he felt safe. The only nights that he’d slept without whispers in his mind, and without nightmares.

He remembered when he was little, all the blank sheets of paper and the crayons that she’d give him. And he’d fill those sheets of paper with figures of what he imagined his mom would look like. Only _now_ did he realize that the woman that he’d been drawing on these sheets was her. She was the only mother figure that he ever had. And she was taken from him.

He remembered that day. The day that she had tried to break him out of the Shinra HQ. Out of that wretched place where all he knew was pain and suffering. But he was still little back then. He was still a frightened little boy that couldn’t help her. She’d promised him that everything was going to be alright. She had promised she’d get him out of there. And she knew the consequences of that promise, and she did it anyway, and she was taken from him, and he was taken from her. That was the last time that he’d seen her.

He remembered crying himself to sleep for the next couple of months after that day. A little three-year-old sobbing against the pillow while he clutched on it tightly, imagining that it was her. And he knew back then that it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to protect her, because he watched them dragging her away. Her voice, hoarse from shouting his name was still loud in his ears as if it had happened _yesterday_. But he was so frightened back then. That night was a memory that he’d never speak of. Not to anyone, except maybe, Hester.

After that, he was so afraid that he’d never get to see her again. At some point, he was convinced that she was _long-gone_ and that she was never coming back. And that was a thought that terrified him, but after a while, he’d learned to live with it and with the voices inside his mind, that manipulated him and twisted him, and spiraled him towards _insanity_.

She had changed though. Her black long hair, her grey eyes, her thin, trembling body. None of these stopped him from recognizing her. He would never forget her. She was the only person that held him without causing him _pain._ The only person he anticipated to seeing every single day back then.

Jocasta was noticing his hesitation, and she was trying her best not to break down, even though her nose stung, and her eyes gathered tears that she would be too unable to hold back. But before she knew it, he was hugging her. His hand pulled on hers and brought her into a tight, almost suffocating hug.

And that’s where she _broke._ She released the tension, and the tears streamed down her eyes. Numerous of them rolled down her cheeks and wetted his shirt as he pressed her against him. He’d leaned down, burying his face on her shoulder and drawing in her scent. A scent he instantly recognized. It _was_ her. It was the woman that he called _mother._ A _real_ mother. The only one he ever had. The one that was taken from him.

That’s why his hands tightened around her. He’d lost her, but she had come back. She was there, and she was hugging him, and he no longer felt _frightened._ In her arms, he knew that _everything was going to be okay._ That’s how it felt back then when he’d nuzzle on her chest, and sleep there. The only nights he ever actually slept. And she’d wake him up with a kiss on his forehead, and a warm, soothing caress on his back. That was the same caress that she gave him _now._ He felt that relief all over. That familiarity. He couldn’t even fathom how much he had missed her. How much he’d wish every night she was there.

He had learned to grow in his _misery_ ever since she was taken from him. He had learned to appreciate and embrace the loneliness. He had nearly forgotten how it felt to be held by someone. He’d forgotten how it felt to have a _mother._ A feeling he cherished wholeheartedly, and he only knew for a few months. Her body shuddered, and she sobbed against his chest. Her fingers were clutching on his shoulders as she spoke.

“I’m so, so, so sorry… I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you that day,”

She felt his fingers clenching on her shirt. He had shut his eyes closed, but he opened them again when she said that. How could she apologize? What was there to apologize for? _No._ He wasn’t going to keep listening to her blaming herself for something that wasn’t even her fault.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked confusedly.

She pulled back. Shiny eyes and drenched eyelashes stared up at him. He had never seen her cry before. He didn’t know how much he hated it till _now_ “I promised… I promised I would save you, but I failed, and then-”

“Joe…” he cut her. He didn’t want to hear any more of this. It wasn’t her fault what happened to him. “…you _tried_ to save me…” he inhaled sharply trying to keep the tears back even though he didn’t care about crying in front of her. He had done it before. “…you tried. It’s the most anyone has ever done for me,”

She let out a breath that she didn’t know she’d been holding and she pulled him back into that tight hug. She wept against his chest and she hated how much correct that was. It was indeed _the most_ anyone had done for him. She felt his hands tracing her back. He could still feel the texture of that large scar that Cloud’s sword had created on her waist below her back, even above the thin fabric of her shirt. Her hair were black, her eyes were grey. His fingers spotted lots of scars beneath that shirt. He felt anger fueling within him as he took a moment to imagine how she’d gotten these scars.

“Who did this to you?” he asked.

She shook her head as she pulled back again. Her fingers reached for her eyes, her cheeks, and wiped away the wet traces of her tears. She sniffled and she gave him a smile “Let’s not talk about this now. I brought you a gift…” she chuckled as her hand reached for the pocket of her trousers. She felt the plaque of chocolate settled in it. She had asked Cid to buy her one. It was the same almond chocolate that she used to bring to him when he was little, and his eyes almost widened, and a _smile_ almost caught his lips when she pulled it out. “…your favorite,”

He chuckled as the bittersweet memory came back to him. They had so much to catch up to.


	57. Falling Apart

She was smiling far too much. She could tell she wasn’t the only one who thought that this was _strange._ It felt so… _so unfamiliar._ She had explained everything. Sephiroth and Jocasta spent hours together that day. A day after so long when they saw each other again. She told him what Hojo had done to her. She told him about his _real_ mother. _Lucrecia._ She tried to explain her _best_ that it wasn’t wholly Lucrecia’s fault what had happened to him.

She told him about Vincent. How much he loved his mother _once upon a time._ She told him how she left him for Hojo. That they were all acts of confusion and guilt. That she never meant any of these. And it was true. Lucrecia never meant to end up like this. Sephiroth didn’t ask about who his father was, and she thought it was best to leave that uncovered. He listened to the story silently. He nodded and looked at her trying to process the things that he never knew.

He remembered everything. He remembered how he’d almost doomed the Planet, and even though it wasn’t even his fault, the guilt was drowning him. He didn’t talk about it, but she could still see that. And when she told him of how she fell in the way of Cloud’s sword and his body, that’s when his eyes widened and the guilt engulfed him like a wildfire. He was both surprised and confused. Finally, somebody was willing to do that. Give their life for _him._ There was somebody who _thought_ about him, who cared about him.

He couldn’t refuse a bite from that chocolate. It brought back memories. Bittersweet memories of his childhood. Those nights that he’d spent with her, where she’d sleep beside him. It must’ve been so uncomfortable for her to stay still all night for him to sleep, but she still did it, and she would do it all, all over again if she had to.

He told her about becoming a War Hero, finishing the Wutai War. He told her about the SOLDIER training. About Angeal and Genesis, and Zack. The things that happened back then. How he wrongly thought that JENOVA was his mother. It was the only name he’d ever received when he’d ask. He was confused, and after the Nibelheim Incident, he’d come to believe it. Everything that happened on top of the Reactor of Mount Nibel, let his mind vulnerable to the JENOVA cells that already resided into his body, and they took all the control and used him to spread chaos and suffering.

A knock came from the door of his room, and Vincent walked in. He opened his mouth to speak, but he lost his words, and for a second when he looked at Sephiroth. He looked just like _her. Lucrecia._ Sephiroth was the closest thing they had of her. The son of the woman that he once loved with all his might.

For a while he thought his feelings were clear for Jocasta. But _now_ he didn't feel sure. Not when he looked at the son of his _beloved_ and a simple look was all it took for him to remind him of _her. Lucrecia._ He realized his lips were still parted and he’d instantly forgotten what he wanted to say. He couldn’t help but _wonder._ What happened to Lucrecia? He hadn’t asked Jocasta and she never brought it up. Did she die? Did she leave? She couldn’t have disappeared _just like that._

“I’m just… Just checking if everything’s okay,” He forced the words out even though he wasn’t really sure if that really was the reason he was there. He’d forgotten it whatever that was.

“Seph, this is Vincent,” Jocasta and Sephiroth approached him.

Sephiroth’s eyes examined the gunman for a moment and he pursed his lips “You knew my mother,”

Vincent parted his lips to speak, but _again_ he didn’t know what to say to that. He urged himself to look away from him. Away from the pale brown bangs that fell on his face. A face like Lucrecia’s. The chin, the nose, the hair. He didn’t know why he felt so _uncomfortable_ about it. Maybe him reminding of _her_ was confusing him. It was reminding him of what he _felt_ for _her._ Feelings he’d buried deep down when all he wanted was to stop feeling hurt anymore and embrace the _love_ and _warmth_ that Jocasta was giving him so _openhandedly._

“I did…” he forced the words out, trying to keep himself away from the thoughts, and back to reality. “…I did,” and he walked out of the room, with his eyes focused on the floor. On his sabatons, while they pounded on the white marble of it.

Jocasta sighed “It’s okay. You just… remind him of her,” she forced a smile as she turned to Sephiroth. He just nodded silently, his gaze landed on the floor and it stayed there.

And then the realization hit her. Jocasta’s hand slipped on his cheek, making him turn and look at her. His eyes found hers and she bit her tongue when she recognized the color of his pupils. _Crimson._ Crimson-brown. A color she knew all too well. She hadn’t noticed it before, but _now_ she did and she bit her lip harsher than she intended to.

“What is it?” Sephiroth asked confusedly.

“Nothing…” she shook her head and she slipped her hand over his shoulder “Would you mind if we run a hereditary test on you?”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta met Hester on the way back to her room. She asked her to run that hereditary test on Sephiroth. Hester nodded silently before she went on with the task she had at hand. Jocasta’s eyes scanned the corridors around her, trying to find Vincent. He was nowhere to be seen. She headed back to her room. She assumed she’d find him there.

But all she found in her room, was Cid and Shera. Cid was walking in circles, cursing under his breath and Jocasta was so glad that Marlene wasn’t there to listen to him. Shera was on her feet, with her hands crossed against her chest. She let out a heavy sigh, and her eyes found Jocasta who had just walked into the room. Jocasta looked inside, searching for Vincent. He wasn’t there. Cid kept the endless mumbling of curses while Shera nervously patted her foot on the floor.

“What happened?” Jocasta asked.

Cid didn’t seem to have noticed her being there until she spoke. He stopped tossing and turning around her room, and he swallowed back the next series of curses that hung from his lips “What the fuck do you think happened?! Vinnie happened! Your man’s fuckin’ leavin’ you!”

Jocasta felt her heart sinking in her stomach. Suddenly the air of her room didn’t feel all that comfortable. She felt like something was choking her. Her hands wrapped around her torso, above that new scar on her belly.

“Vincent’s… leaving me?”

She felt her nose stinging letting her know that tears were already gathering on top of her lower eyelids. What could he mean by that? Why would he leave? Where would he go? Had she done something wrong? And then she tried to think of what. She parted her lips to speak but no words came out. _Did I do something wrong?_ She tried to think. Her mind searched for the past few days. Maybe he was _tired of her?_ Tired of waiting for her? He hadn’t shown that he didn’t want to be there. He hadn’t shown that he wanted to _leave._

“He’s after that mad science bitch who fucked up the world!” Cid cried out angrily.

“Lucrecia. He said he’s going to find her,” Shera said.

And then it all made sense. But her hands trembled, and her feet felt wobbly. She knew where Lucrecia was. She knew where he would search. _Nibelheim._ He’d find her there. She’d hidden there long ago, in crystallized Mako secreted by her own body. It was the only way for her to be _dead._ The JENOVA cells wouldn’t let her die no matter how much she tried to take her own life. The pain was too intense, and the guilt too much. She found solitude there, in a cave deep within Mountains of Nibel.

Vincent didn’t know that. Jocasta had found out just a few years ago, but he had ever asked her. And even if he did, she wouldn’t tell him. She was _afraid._ Afraid that if he ever found her again, she’d lose him. _Gosh._ She was going to lose him, because if he went back to Nibelheim, he’d find her, _and if he does…_ She shook her head. _No._ She couldn’t lose him. _Not now_ that she had him, and he was finally realizing his feelings for her.

Jocasta made a step back. She was still shocked. Her hands were still trembling. There was a pain on her chest. Or maybe _a tightness_ but all she knew it was that it _hurt._ The thought of _losing_ him. It _hurt._ She had to stop him. She didn’t know what she’d tell him if she _did_ stop him. She didn’t know if he was still there. Maybe _she was too late_.

Jocasta hurried down the corridors of the clinic. Running at the state that she was in, wasn’t doing any good to her still healing organs. But she had to. _Vincent._ She had to find him. She had to see him before he’d leave. How could he _leave_ just like that? Did that mean that he did not need her? Not as much as she did, apparently.

She thought they were _finally_ together. She thought that when he hugged her and his hands would tighten around her, he wanted her closer. She thought he wanted _that. Her._ Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was just _love_ overflowing her with treacherous feelings. More emotions than she could bear, and they clouded her judgment, and for a moment she was convinced that she _was happy._ She was convinced that what they had was _real._ That it was _perfect._

The stinging pain came from her freshly closed wounds. Her hand clutched on her stomach. Her fingers dug deep into it, trying to quiet down the pain. _Pain._ She was sure she was damaging whatever tissue she had tried so hard to heal. But she didn’t _care._ She _had_ to see him. She kept running and bumping on to people around the corridors of the large clinic. Having him _there,_ beside her, was more important than her health. She had dealt with so much pain these past few days, but she didn’t care about any of it because he was _there._ What would happen to her if he left?

She would sink back into her nightmares. She could sink back into the voices and the screams inside her head and this time she would welcome them. Because they’d keep her mind away _from this. Him._

Jocasta winced, but she stopped running when she exited the clinic. It was hard not to spot him around the streets of Mideel. He wasn’t far away. He was ready to mount a black motorcycle and be on his way. Jocasta ignored the pain that radiated from her belly all around her body, and she hurried towards him. Her fingers were clutching on her shirt as she walked hastily towards him, almost limping on her feet.

“Vincent!”

Her voice came from behind and he stopped what he was doing, before he turned and looked at her. Her body was trembling. A hand was clutching on her stomach. On top of that wound that he knew all too well. She was panting from the effort that she’d put into getting there in time.

But he did not reach her. He didn’t hug her, touch her, pass his hands around her to help her stand. He just stood there and watched her. She braced herself on her own two feet, even though it hurt. It would hurt even more if she collapsed down. He had a troubled expression on his face. She could tell he was thinking a lot. She could tell there was a lot troubling him. Things that kept him from _helping her stand._

Or maybe it was just her mind making excuses for him. Maybe it was just an effort of hers to _not_ hurt her own feelings. “Where are you going?”

He turned around. His attention fell on the packs of bullets that he had been stuffing in his bag “I need to know what happened to her,”

She gritted her teeth and she looked away from him. Her gaze focused on the dark pavement of the road beneath their feet. She couldn’t stop him. She _wanted_ to, but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t grab his arm and force him there. She just wanted him to be happy, but nevertheless, she still wanted him _there_ with _her._ To keep her safe from her nightmares. To grab his arms around her and let her know that it was all going to be _okay._ That he wanted _this._ That what thy had made him _happy_ as much as it made her.

Apparently, that wasn’t the case. He wanted to _leave._ He wanted to find his long gone _beloved._ The one he’d blamed himself for her _demise_ for so long, even though deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault. Throwing the blame to himself, felt like something of a _relief._ He still wanted to find _her._ He didn’t know what he would do if he did. He wanted to know what happened to her. _He needed to know._

The faint feeling of _hope,_ hope that she was still somewhere out there, covered everything about _Jocasta._ He wasn’t ready for what he and Jocasta had. He thought he was. What if Lucrecia was still out there? What if she never died?

“What do you think you’ll achieve with that?” Jocasta’s voice came from behind, and it came with a sob. Was she crying? Why would she cry? Did she know something that she hadn’t told him? Did she know where Lucrecia was? She hadn’t told him.

He chuckled bitterly. _Of course, she didn’t._ She knew and she wouldn’t tell him because she knew that he’d _leave. Of course, he would_ if it meant finding _her._ Vincent didn’t give her an answer. He mounted the motorcycle and turned the key igniting the engine.

“Nibelheim…” her hand found her face while the other clutched on her stinging wound “…you’ll find her there,” her voice broke as she spoke.

He could tell she was trying not to cry. He wanted to _hug_ her. He wanted kiss those tears away that he assumed that were streaming down her cheeks. But all he could hear was that word. That was proof that she knew where Lucrecia was. She wanted to keep him away from her. And maybe that’s what kept him from _hugging_ and _comforting_ her.

With no further words, he started driving away. Jocasta watched him leave and she felt it all over again. She felt like it was the first time she’d watched him _leave._ When that helicopter with his Turk comrades landed outside her house. She’d asked him if she’d ever get to see him again. _Now_ she knew she’d get to see him. But if he found Lucrecia in that cave, he would no longer be _hers._ His heart would Lucrecia’s all over again and all that he’d have to do was _look at her._

She chuckled bitterly at herself. _How could I ever…?_ How could she be so naïve? How could she ever _actually_ believe in _love?_ How could she ever let herself _embrace_ that? Love wasn’t meant for everybody. It wasn’t meant for her. She knew that long ago when Tedric died. She’d lost part of herself back then, she was losing another part _now. How could I let this happen again?_

She wept against her fingers as she tried to wipe the tears away, but they were streaming down her face. So many of them, there was no stopping them. The pain on her wound returned back in full force and her legs shook. They would give in to the pain and the weakness and she was going to collapse on her knees on the pavement. The pain radiated from her belly to her entire body… it no longer mattered. There was no one to pick her up. And there would be _no one_ for _a while_.

She looked back up. Vincent had already vanished in the distance. The voices in her mind came back to life. She’d learned to ignore them for so long. She learned living in the _misery_ and the _suffering._ But for a short time, she’d tasted what _peace_ felt like. She saw how actual _happiness_ felt. And she’d felt that way just because he was there. But he was no longer there. He wouldn’t be for a while, and she knew how much stupid it was to feel this way. She hated how much she _needed_ him. She _hated_ how much she wanted him there with her.

She had asked him. The day she saved Sephiroth. She had fallen in the way, she was sliced in half when Vincent caught her. She had asked him that day if he could ever _love_ her. Love her as much as he _loved Lucrecia._ He said that he could. He said that he could love her _so much more._ What a terrible lie that was? 

_Gosh._ She felt so vulnerable and helpless, she hated herself. She was never _vulnerable_ and _helpless._ She had felt this way when Tedric died. When she cried immensely on top of her _beloved’s_ grave. Ever since that day she had promised herself she’d never get to feel so much for _somebody ever again._

But she did. She couldn’t help it. She _loved_ Vincent with all her heart and for a short amount of time, she thought that he _loved_ her too. _But he didn’t._ He wouldn’t be searching for _her_ if he did.

Jocasta felt so angry. Sad, and angry for herself. For _giving_ herself so openhandedly to someone. He could’ve fooled her. That one night that they shared together. She’d tried so hard to make him feel _wanted, and loved, and worthy of affection._ Because he was. She wasn’t regretting that night.

The only thing that she regretted was herself thinking that she too meant that much to him. She _didn’t._ She was _stupid_ to even think of that. He would never see her the way she saw him, and it hurt. She hated how much it hurt. She hated _herself._ Because _she had allowed this._ She was the one who opened up and _pulled him in._

She shouldn’t have done that. She had promised herself she’d never get hurt like that ever again. She had failed again. This time, she had failed _herself._

Jocasta fell on her knees. The pain of her sensitive organs that had just finished healing, came back to her. She would wince and hiss, and tremble and shout in pain. But that pain wasn’t so much worse from what _she was already_ feeling.

She fell back. But she didn’t remember herself ever hitting the pavement. Hands caught her. A loud curse reached her ears that she recognized immediately. _Cid._ He caught her, and picked her up, and carried her back to her room. She let her eyelids close and her head rolled back on his arm. Her hand reached for her stomach. _Pain._ Painful and swollen, probably because of the internal hemorrhages that she was sure she’d been having.

It didn’t matter anymore.

“Fuck! Hang in there, Joe! Hang in there-”


	58. Pain

She moved her body by the edge of the bed with a grunt. Every single move brought pain, but she knew she couldn’t stay bed-ridden all day. Not moving at all, wasn’t doing any good to her muscles and her bones.

Jocasta’s hand reached for the cane that rested by her bedside table. She sighed as she stared at the black wooden stick that was given to her when she exited the Hospital. Her hand was instinctively around her belly where the pain radiated harshly, but again, she couldn’t be taking anti-inflammatory pills all the time. They too could become a bad addiction that she wanted to avoid getting used to.

She grabbed the cane with her right hand, and she pressed her weight on it, pulling herself up on her feet. Walking had become a struggle that she usually chose to avoid. It had been a week since she’d left the hospital. Cid and Shera had insisted that she stayed with them for as long as she would want to. At least, for as long as it’d take for her to heal. She was so grateful she had those two. Cid and Shera had treated her as if they were a family. She didn’t know how she was going to thank them. They were giving her so much more than what she deserved.

Jocasta tried to help Shera around with the house chores, but Shera would turn her down immediately, and when Cid was around, he’d pick her up and forcibly take her back to her room with a couple of curses hanging from his lips. Cloud had come to her with Tifa and Barret. He didn’t look well. He tried to apologize. Jocasta tried her best to let him know that she wasn’t mad at him. It wasn’t his fault. And when he found out about Vincent _leaving, just like that,_ he stood back on his feet promising her that he was going to find him and try to kick some sense into him.

 _Vincent._ She tried so hard not to think of him. She tried so hard till her forehead ached. But she couldn’t _not_ think about _him._ She couldn’t _not_ blame herself for her current state. If she hadn’t let herself fall for him, she wouldn’t be so… _so broken, now._ Did it sound stupid to say, that her heart was _broken_? _Yes._ It sounded _so, so, so stupid._ She wasn’t some teenage girl that had been dumped by her boyfriend. She wasn’t a helpless, hopeless little woman that couldn’t stand on her own two feet unless there was a man around to help her.

 _Then why did it hurt so bad?_ Why was there that tightness, that pain in her chest? It knocked her breath away. It brought tears in her eyes and she tried her best to blink them away and pretend nothing ever happened. But she _couldn’t pretend that nothing happened_ because so much had happened and she was _broken. Yes,_ she _was_ broken. She had to admit that. She couldn’t stand on her _own_ two feet. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t eat. Not with that pit on her stomach. She couldn’t _breathe._ Not when every single breath fueled her need to _cry._

And _the nights_. The nights were _so long._ She wouldn’t sleep. She _didn’t_ sleep. She couldn’t. Not when the voices in her mind were so loud and there was no one there to silence them. And when she’d let herself fall in the sweet -but torturous- embrace of _sleep,_ she’d snap back up with tears and shouts and she had no one to cry to. She had no one to hold her. She had no one to kiss her forehead and let her know that everything was _going to be okay._

Vincent was no longer there. The last time she saw him was only a week ago, yet the days passed so _ridiculously_ slow. Maybe it was his absence that made her life go back to the _hell_ that it was before she met him again. Before she let him in, and steal her heart. _No. Not steal._ She gave it to him so… _so willingly._ So openhandedly… that’s why she hated herself. She hated herself for _falling_ for him. For _believing_ in what they had. In _love._

 _Love._ She had stopped reminding herself of what love was. It wasn’t a _pretty_ feeling. It was _manipulative. Painful. Deceitful_. It _breaks people,_ strong people, and it _breaks_ them in the harshest of ways. She had stopped reminding herself these, that’s how she _failed._ She let herself in _his arms_ and she trusted that _he’d never let go,_ but he did, and when he left, she lost a part of herself _for the second time_. And she hated herself for feeling like that. She hated herself for _needing_ him so much.

Jocasta made her way downstairs. She tried not to grunt and groan, and wince in pain too loudly. Shera was probably sleeping, and Cid was probably still working on something in the garage like he almost always did. Jocasta opened the shelf that stood by the corner of the large kitchen and she took out a familiar bottle of a _magnificent_ thirty-year-old whiskey that Shera had been storing intact. She looked at the bottle and the honey-colored liquid that it contained. It was below half the bottle. It was a shame that she was drinking it _so fast._ A thirty-year-old whiskey _disappearing just like that._ Shera was going to _kill_ her.

Jocasta settled her cane flat on the floor, as she sat on the sofa with the bottle in her hand. She took a long sip. The alcohol unleashed a fire on her tongue that it burned down her throat when she swallowed. She knew that after a few more sips, it would feel no more than water. She didn’t know why she was doing this. Maybe the alcohol was enough to ease the screams and the whispers in her mind. Or maybe the alcohol was enough to take her mind off of _him._

She chuckled bitterly. _He must have already found her._ She drew in a sharp breath as she felt the tears gathering in her eyes _again._ She didn’t know why it hurt so much. She didn’t know why she loved him so much. Maybe that’s why it _hurt._ Because she _did_ love him. And she meant it whenever she’d tell him that and for a moment, she thought he too loved her the same. She _thought._ It felt so _real._ It was probably just _love_ fooling her. Because that’s what love does. _It feeds the hopeless with hopes._ Hopes for something better. A life that she thought she could never taste. A _normal_ life with someone. Was it too much to ask?

 _Yes._ For somebody like _her, yes,_ it was impossible to have that. A _normal, happy_ life with somebody. Vincent too had _accepted_ that body. _Her body._ She was just like him and he’d given her the _affection_ that she thought no one else would ever give her. He had kissed every single scar on her chest, on her stomach, on her shoulders. He had been holding her so tightly every single night, fooling her that he _maybe wanted_ her _there. With him._ She actually thought he wanted _this._ But he’d disappeared and Cloud was out looking, and he hadn’t called either.

“What are you fuckin’ doing?! Drinkin’ ma grandpa’s favorite fuckin’ scotch?!”

At that, she snapped out of her thoughts and she looked at a dirty Cid who’d just walked out of the garage. She turned her attention at the bottle and she cringed when she realized it was nearly empty.

“Shit…” she groaned as her hand found her forehead and rubbed the insistent ache that gathered there “…sorry, Cid,”

Cid raised an eyebrow as he noticed her wet eyelashes and shiny eyes. A hand was folded around her stomach where that wound was, and the other held the bottle steady on top of her knee. Her hair was a mess that she hadn’t untangled _for days._ She had been wearing a white, pinkish t-shirt and loose pants. A pair of Shera’s pajamas that he recognized.

Cid exhaled sharply as he shook his head and settled the screwdriver that he had in his hand, back on the table of the living room. He walked around the wooden furniture before he sat beside her and grabbed that bottle from her hand. He took a sip from whatever remained, emptying the bottle. He let out a satisfied hum and he shook his head.

“Grandpa had a good taste… Cid the fuckin’ ninth. Wanna hear his goddamn story?” he asked, arching an eyebrow and sparing her a look. Her head had rolled back on the cushions of the couch. Her eyes were half-closed. _Now_ both her hands were tight around her stomach. _Damn kid._ She looked like _shit._ Maybe talking to her about _Cid the ninth_ would be a good idea to get her mind off of _Vinnie._

“Is Shera gonna kill me?” Jocasta asked. He could tell she’d been trying her best not to let her tears fall, and muffle her winces.

“What? The fuckin’ whiskey? Nah,” he settled the empty bottle on the table and he propped his elbows back on top of his knees. “If it were me though, oof- she’d turn my ass into a freakin’ oglop. Happened to my great-great-grandpa Cid the seventh. Not a pretty sight I tell ya,”

At that, she let out a small chuckle and he was surprised and glad that he made _at least_ the corners of her lips slightly curl up. But then her smile disappeared again, and an expression of pain caught upon her features. Her eyebrows wrinkled and the fingers of her one hand tightened around the forearm of the other.

Cid stood up on his feet and he grabbed the bottle, making his way towards the kitchen. “I’mma go grab you a fuckin’ pill. You look like shit, kid,”

She shook her head “No. I already got one a few hours ago,”

“Well, then…” Cid’s voice came from the kitchen, along with the clacking sound of glass hitting against marble as he settled the empty bottle into the sink. He came back from the kitchen and settled his hands on his waist “…you need to go to fuckin’ sleep,”

She groaned. The pain on her stomach was far too much to _move._ Nevertheless, her hand reached for her cane. Trembling fingers grabbed the wooden stick. She let out a wince at the movement that shifted her sensitive organs, and her eyes shut in pain. She felt so _helpless, so hurt._ She couldn’t move. She could barely walk. After that _running_ that she’d done to get to _him_ before he left the clinic, it had drawn her back to the first days of her injury. She was feeling the pain all over again and it made her _miserable._ She wouldn’t be if _he_ was there.

She scolded at herself mentally. He _wasn’t_ there. And he wouldn’t be there for a _while._ She had to _accept_ that. She had to swallow it down and get on with her life. Focus on herself. Focus on getting better. But she _couldn’t._

“Wait, wait. I gotchu,” Cid said as he walked towards her. He took the cane off her hand placing it on top of the couch, and then he picked her up with a grunt.

Jocasta sighed as she let her head roll back on his hand and he carried her upstairs back to her room.

“Ya know, me and my back are doin’ ya a pretty damn favor to carry your ass around, kid,” Cid said with a chuckle, as he settled her back on her bed.

Her hands reached for the bedsheets, but he was already there. He pushed them on top of her body and he turned around to leave. “Cid…” her voice stopped him halfway the door “…thanks… for everything,”

Indeed, she had so much to thank him for. He and Shera had been there for her since the beginning. It was him and his talented piloting skills that brought the Highwind within the Crater and gave her the time and the chance to survive. And _now,_ when she had nowhere to go, it was him and Shera who opened their home to her. She couldn’t express her gratitude for that. She knew a _thanks_ wasn’t enough for this.

Cid just gave her an honest smile “No need ta thank me, kid,” before he exited her room and closed the door behind.

Jocasta let her gaze rest on a random dark spot in her room, and she finally let those tears slip down her cheeks and soak her pillow. A hand found her mouth and she wept silently against it. She was so mad at herself for acting like that. Sobbing and crying wasn’t going to fix anything, but she just couldn’t help it. The voices in her mind came back to life as the effects of the alcohol washed away. Her demon repeated words and imitated voices of her past. Of her painful memories, as if the immense pain on her stomach wasn’t enough. Hojo was it’s calling card. It used Hojo a lot because that’s what scared her the most. Even though she knew that the mad scientist was long-gone, it was her demon in her mind that wouldn’t let her at ease.

She had escaped those things. For some time, she had forgotten how it felt to cry herself to sleep from the nightmares. She had been doing that for thirty years. She knew she should’ve grown used to it. But those few months that she’d spent sleeping beside Vincent… these were the only nights that she had actually _slept._ The only nights that she would wake up without screams and crying and trembling. A peaceful rest was a luxury that she couldn’t possess _now_. _Not now_ that he was gone.

She remembered the last night they’d slept together. Clinging on to each other with a need that she’d never experienced before. That’s how every night used to go. She _needed_ him there so that she could sleep. She _needed_ him there so that she could know that _everything was going to be okay. She needed him._ But he did not _need_ her the same. She thought that he did, and she was proven otherwise and _it hurt. It hurt._

She wept till a lump formed in her throat and she could no longer breathe. She had to _stop_ being like this, but she couldn’t help it. She felt so cold and lonely and _afraid. Terrified._ The thought of him never holding her like that ever again… it was _terrifying._ She didn’t want to know how it would feel like _to live_ without him. She didn’t want to lose part of _herself. Not again._ She’d promised herself she’d never get to that again. _But she did._ She did, and she hated herself for that. 

Her fingers of her one hand tightened around her stomach. Clutching on the tight bandages that were tied there as if she could stop the pain. It hurt. She remembered how he’d hold her when she was in pain. It was an unendurable pain, but his mere presence made things so much more tolerable. _Now_ he wasn’t there. She wondered if he was thinking about her wherever he was _now_. But then she reminded herself that _he wasn’t._ He would have forgotten all about what they had because he had _found her._ And that thought… _it hurt_ more than the internal hemorrhages on her stomach. _It hurt._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The stony ground was cold, but the cold wasn’t enough to penetrate his clothes. There was no _cold enough_ to make his body shiver. It was night. There was nothing but that soft, faint sound of the wind as it coursed through the cave. He had found it. A cavern filled with nothing but rocks, and Mako crystals, and a pond in the middle.

And there she was. _Lucrecia._ The woman he loved with all his heart for so long. There she was. Trapped in a greenish _prison_ of bright Mako Crystals. She looked _magnificent_. _Beautiful_. The same as she was back in the days that he knew her. His heart hammered against his chest as he let his crimson-brown eyes examine his _beloved_. Her eyes were closed. Her face was peaceful. Her body was covered by a thin layer of a white fabric. Her bangs fell on her face. Pale-brown hair. He remembered running his fingers through them while her body would press against his.

The nights that they’d spent together, were the happiest he’d ever been. _She_ was the _happiest_ he’d ever gotten to. Before everything was snatched away from him and the world fell apart. He’d sleep for ours, and days, and months in that coffin. He’d wake up in the darkness from the nightmares with tears, and cries, and a shaking body, and then he’d sleep again hoping that he’d never wake up. Hoping that _he’d die._ He found that that was the reason he’d locked himself into that coffin. He hoped that that coffin would be his deathbed.

He thought about these things all over again when his gaze found her face, her body, her hands that were gathered on her chest, holding on top of each other… he did feel the pain of his past, but he also felt his love for her all over again. How could he ever forget about these? How could he ever let go of her?

But he felt confused. _Utterly_ confused. He didn’t know what he was feeling anymore. He didn’t know what to think about this. For some time, he thought that he _loved_ Jocasta. He thought that he was ready to accept _that_ … whatever it was that they had. He thought that he was ready to let go of Lucrecia. How dare he? _Could_ he let go of Lucrecia? She was standing there. Right in front of his eyes. He didn’t know if she was alive. Was she? Could she? Could he take her out of that greenish prison?

And if he did, what then? What was he going to do? Let go of Jocasta _forever_? Lucrecia would _despise_ him if she ever saw what he had become. He knew her. She wouldn’t _accept_ him. Not as Jocasta had.

 _Jocasta._ She knew Lucrecia was there. She might’ve even been alive. But she hadn’t told him. She was keeping him from _her._ Maybe that’s what made him angry. He felt anger. She knew that Lucrecia was there all along, and she hadn’t told him. She knew what happened to Lucrecia and still _she hadn’t told him._ She kept him away from her and it made him _furious. How could she?!_

“Vincent,”

A voice came from behind. He was so caught up into staring at her, absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed anybody being there. He jumped back to his feet and he turned around seeing Cloud. If it was anybody else, he’d shoot. Cerberus was already tight in his hand.

Cloud’s attention fell at the woman, trapped into the Mako Crystals. “Is it her?” he asked.

Vincent gritted his teeth as he turned his attention back at Lucrecia “Yes,” and then her voice reached his ears.

It came out as a mumble that echoed all around the cavern. He turned his whole attention at her trying to understand what she had just said. But Cloud looked at him confused. He wasn’t hearing anything. He sighed. He knew Vincent _loved_ her. But she was trapped in there, and she was trapped in there _for a reason_. Jocasta was bed-ridden and in pain and when Cloud visited her last week, he saw her in the bad state that she was. He felt guilt. He was the one who stabbed her. He was the one who hadn’t believed that she could _make it._ That she could turn Sephiroth. But she had, and all the doctors in that clinic had assured them that the man had _changed._

She had _saved_ his _sworn_ enemy. But he was no longer the enemy. He was no longer the threat. Cloud knew more than anybody how it felt _being_ a puppet. Nothing but a useless pawn in a game that that alien had set two-thousand-years ago and it was still being played.

Hester had asked him to take Sephiroth with him. To give him the chance to meet his birth mother. So, both Cloud and Sephiroth mounted their motorcycles and went to Nibelheim and found Vincent there.

 _Of course,_ he had found her. _Of course,_ he’d spent days just looking at her. For so long, he thought he’d lost her. He thought it was _his_ fault that he’d lost her. But she was _there,_ and he couldn’t get his eyes off of her.

When Sephiroth entered the cavern and his eyes met _her,_ his _birth-mother,_ he could see why Jocasta and Vincent _freaked out_ when they first saw him after his _transformation._ Her hair, her face, her chin, her skin. He had all of these. Vincent didn’t speak when he saw him approaching her.

“Mother…” he mumbled under his breath as he let his crimson-brown eyes rest on her figure for a minute.

It sounded _wrong._ It sounded _very wrong_ to call that woman his _mother._ She was the one who made him suffer so much. She was the one who accepted that _experiment._ An experiment on _him,_ her _own child._ It was her actions that pushed him into Hojo’s labs where he suffered _so much._ That woman… he barely recognized her. He never knew her. She wasn’t there for him. She wasn’t there to hold him the nights that he’d cry himself to sleep. A three-year-old boy wishing for nothing but his _mother._ But _her…_ he never knew her. She was never there to protect him. She didn’t give him any toys that every mother would for her child.

Sephiroth shook his head. _No._ She had _damned_ him. She had _experimented_ on him. An experiment that brought her own demise. Nothing mattered to her but her experiments. _Just like Hojo._

Sephiroth fended away from her “No. This woman is not my mother,”

Vincent scowled when he said that. Sephiroth didn’t know Lucrecia. No one knew her as much as he did. He still remembered her voice, when she’d shout and slam her hands against Hojo’s chest while she’d beg him to give her son back. It wasn’t her fault she wasn’t there for him. It wasn’t her fault what happened to him. It was Hojo’s manipulative words that filled her mind with dreams of ambition. She never meant for any of these to happen.

“Your mother loved you,” Vincent said. He couldn’t keep the words back. But then Sephiroth’s eyes met his. _Cold._

“Did she?” Sephiroth asked and the only reply he received was _silence_. “Jocasta loved me. She still does. She was the only one I had. The only one who tried to protect me. She saved me. She saved you too from your misery, and now you’re hurting her,” 

Sephiroth walked towards the exit of the cavern. He wanted to leave. He shouldn’t be there. He should be with Jocasta. He should be there for her just like she was for him. She had saved him and she’d nearly paid the price with her life. He had to thank her for that. But he stopped halfway when he remembered why he was there in the first place.

His hand reached for the pocket of his jacket and he drew out a folded paper which he handed it over to Vincent before he exited the cave. Vincent watched Cloud and Sephiroth leave, as his fingers unfolded the paper. He let his attention fall back on the letters and his eyes widened. His fingers clenched around the paper.

 _My… son…?_


	59. Truth And Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Walk Through the Fire' by Zayde Wølf and Ruelle

Hands were around her as her gaze focused on a random spot in her room. She felt the weight of a chin, resting on top of her head. It was Sephiroth holding her this time. Her fingers were tight around his as the pain radiated from her stomach all over her body. It made her eyes water and her body tremble. She wanted to look up at Sephiroth and _thank_ him for being there for her. Thank him for holding her. It made the pain bearable. But the voices inside her mind were still loud and unbearable and her stomach was ruthlessly _hitting_ her with that stinging pain.

She let her head roll back on his chest and she let her eyes close. His hand was around her waist as he held her against him, in a sitting position. His back was resting against the wooden frame of the bed, while hers pressed against his chest. Sephiroth was quiet. He was just holding her. He had offered. He couldn’t stand by and do nothing but watch her being in pain.

Her fingers were tight around his and he could say she was trying to stay quiet no matter the pain. Sephiroth looked down at her and pressed his lips against her forehead as he mumbled.

“Hang in there,”

She nodded. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze “Thank you, Seph,”

She felt him leaving out a sigh as he pressed his cheek on top of her head “You’re welcome… Mother,” he hesitated to speak it out loud. But it sounded _right._

She was the only _real Mother_ he ever had. He noticed her smile when he called her that and he couldn’t help but let the corners of his lips curl up as well. His hands tightened around her and brought her closer. He finally felt that _completion_ that he lacked for so long. He finally had an actual _Mother._ And it made him so content that he never felt like this before. But watching her being in pain like that, it saddened him more than _anything_. He would do anything to make her feel better. Holding her was the least he could do.

Then Hester walked into the room. She wasn’t wearing her lab-coat as she usually did. She wore a pitch-black skirt that reached just above her knees, and a white shirt. Her hair was wrapped back in a tight braid, and she held a plate in her hands with a spoon, sunk in the steaming soup that he guessed Shera had just made. Hester was so busy with her research in the Hospital’s Microbiological Lab, that she had asked him to take the results of his Hereditary Test. He hadn’t told her yet about the results and he too wasn’t sure what to feel about them. He had found out another stranger he never knew was his _father_ and it, _honestly,_ didn’t change anything.

Hester sat beside her on the other side of the bed and she brought the plate closer to her. Sephiroth helped her sit up. She let out a wince and she looked weakly at the spoon of soup that Hester was blowing for her.

“I’m not hungry,” Jocasta protested.

Hester sighed “You haven’t eaten anything in two days. You can’t expect to take an anti-inflammatory pill on an empty stomach,”

Jocasta knew she was right. Even the most noob doctor knew that _anti-inflammatory pills shouldn’t be taken while the patient’s stomach is empty._ But she didn’t want to eat. She didn’t know why. She didn’t have the energy to do anything but lie down and bear with the pain and the nightmares in silence. She was feeling the _guilt._ Guilt. If Vincent came to her what could she say? That she knew where Lucrecia was? That she knew that she was alive? That she knew about Sephiroth being his son? She knew all of these. She’d have so much to confess. But there was barely anything to do about any of these.

Lucrecia had locked herself into that crystalized Mako for a reason. She wanted to _die._ She couldn’t stop the pain that the JENOVA cells brought her. Septicemia can kill if not stopped, but Lucrecia had tried to take her own life long before her body gave in. The JENOVA cells _did not_ let her body give in. She was bearing with the guilt and the pain of her own immune system _fighting and destroying_ her own tissue. She wanted to _die_ but the JENOVA cells wouldn’t let her. Locking herself into a greenish prison of crystallized Mako was the only way of not dealing with the pain and the guilt that she couldn’t _escape_ from. It was better than an eternity of pain and a guilty conscience.

And about Sephiroth… she knew he was Vincent’s son. Lucrecia had found out before she chose to marry Hojo. Jocasta closed her eyes and she remembered. She remembered the day that Lucrecia had first announced her that she was pregnant. She had asked her to come by the Shinra Manor in Nibelheim and talk about the experiment that she and Hojo were planning to do to her unborn baby. Sephiroth. 

_Jocasta sighed “Dr. Hojo, with all due respect, I don’t think it’s-”_

_“Obviously, you’re denying our request for you taking part in the S Project. But it doesn’t matter. Dr. Ernchester, your duties are no longer required,” Hojo said as he turned his attention back at the book that he was studying._

_“No, wait-” Lucrecia tried to say but Jocasta cut her._

_“Well good! ‘Cause I want no part of this!” Jocasta said before she turned at Lucrecia and she grasped her hand “Lucy, if you don’t want this, walk away while you still can,”_

_Lucrecia didn’t speak even though her lips parted and a thousand words formed a lump in her throat. **There was something else holding her back.** It wasn’t the insanity that science brought in every scientists’ head whenever it came to making discoveries. It wasn’t the sweet rush of adrenaline during experimentation. During that restless, impatient waiting for results that promised progress._

**_There was something else_ ** _, and Jocasta knew it from that look in Lucrecia’s eyes. There was terror. Not excitement. There was pain and guilt and anger. All that covered her like a thick blanket and beneath laid the sweet woman that Jocasta had grown up with and learned to call her sister._

Jocasta knew back then that something was _wrong_ but she hadn’t asked. She knew that Lucrecia wouldn’t tell her unless something bad happened. But she did ask when things were _too late._ Jocasta remembered _the day._ The day when Lucrecia called her and asked for her help to save Vincent. To plant the Protomateria in his chest and give him the chance to control Chaos. Lucrecia couldn’t do this on her own. Jocasta was a Heart Surgeon. A Cardiologist. She knew the chest area better than anybody.

_Lucrecia’s trembling fingers reached for the lancet that Jocasta had asked her to grab for her. Vincent’s comatose body rested on top of the metallic table of Lucrecia’s lab. A green piece of fabric covered the rest of his body except the area where Jocasta knew that she could place the Protomateria. Jocasta turned at Lucrecia and took the lancet that she was handing over to her. She noticed her sister’s shaky fingers._

_“Let me do it alone, Lucy. You’re in no condition to run a surgery,” Jocasta said through the mask that she wore, as she carefully cut through his skin on his chest and blood trickled out. Lucrecia reached with a handful of sterilized cotton to wipe the blood away._

_“No… I… I need to save him. I need him alive-”_

_“I will save him. You’re in pain. Take a break,” Jocasta insisted and Lucrecia let out a sigh and she nodded._

_She took off the green, bloody gloves, and the mask that she wore and she headed limply towards the chair across them. Her hand clutched on her abdomen and she winced at the pain that the JENOVA cells were causing her._

_It took a long moment before Lucrecia let out a terrible sob and buried her face in her hands. Jocasta, for once, tore her attention away from Vincent, and she looked at her confusedly. Lucrecia noticed her staring at her while she wept against her hands._

_“Don’t look at me… just save him… please…” Lucrecia sobbed._

_“Why are you crying, sis?”_

_“I- it’s nothing-”_

_“Lucy, we grew up together. We may not be related, but I know you. There’s something wrong and you’re not telling me,” Jocasta pressed the matter. She needed to know._

_Lucrecia didn’t answer right away. She just got up from the chair and she turned her back at her. Her hand clamped on her mouth as she tried to muffle her sobs and calm herself down. Jocasta sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to tell her, and she continued with the surgery. But Lucrecia proved her wrong when she turned around and spoke._

_“Sephiroth… my son… our son…” Lucrecia’s eyes fell on Vincent. He was still unconscious. He couldn’t have heard her…_

_…or so she thought._

_Jocasta’s eyes widened and she stopped what she was doing. Her eyes met Lucrecia’s. They were filled with so much guilt and regret and sorrow. She approached Vincent and her hand found his pale face, cupping his cold cheek tenderly._

_“Vincent’s… the father?!” Jocasta asked. She couldn’t believe it. She had to ask again. She wanted to hear it again. But a sob and a nod were the only answer she got. And frankly, it was enough. “Does Hojo know about this?!”_

_Lucrecia shook her head “Hojo and I were never sexually involved. He offered to marry me and claim the child as his and at the time I thought he was doing me a favor but-”_

_“A favor?! What is wrong with you?! You left the father of your child to marry another man and you call that a favor?!” Jocasta cried out._

_“I never wanted him to be the father of my child! I never wanted any of this! I loved him! But I loved him because I was trying to make up for the guilt that came from killing his father!” Lucrecia finally confessed._

_At that, Jocasta felt angry. Furious. Vincent did not deserve this. Sephiroth did not deserve this. That’s why Lucrecia and Hojo never hesitated to experiment on the boy. It wasn’t theirs. Lucrecia never wanted him in the first place. “You did not make up for anything. You’re hurting him even more. He has a right to know he has a child!”_

_Tears slipped down Lucrecia’s eyes as she buried her face in her hands and she shook her head “No… it’s too late now… Hojo’s got my son… our son… he’ll never let him go!”_

_Jocasta pursed her lips and her hands tightened harshly around the stems of the lancets that she held. She gritted her teeth in anger, but she took a moment and finally reached a decision in her mind “I save Vincent and it’s the last thing I do for you, Lucrecia. I’m going to get my job back in Shinra and work with your husband and keep an eye on Sephiroth. But I will not do it for you. I will do it for Vincent.”_

And maybe that’s why Jocasta struck that deal with Hojo the same day afterwards. The same night. Her discoveries bought her time for the Cetra and Gast to leave but also gave her the chance to _keep an eye on Sephiroth_. He was Vincent’s and Lucrecia’s son. Two people that Jocasta dearly loved back then. She had to make sure he was _alright._ She had to make sure that he was protected from Hojo. She had to know what Hojo was planning to do to the boy. But she was so _weak._ She wasn’t a _warrior_ back then. She was just a scientist. She _couldn’t_ protect him.

But she had to clear up the mess that Lucrecia had left behind. Jocasta bonded with Sephiroth, those few months that she tried to protect him and be there for him. And she was grateful _now_ that he was there and that he was _alive_ and _okay_ and _holding_ her, being there for her for such a difficult time. And Hester was there too. The daughter that she never knew she had because she was kept from her. But _now_ Hester was _there for her_ even though she didn’t have to and Jocasta didn’t know how to express her gratitude.

But… _Vincent… how am I supposed to explain this to you?_ How was she supposed to tell him that Lucrecia never _wanted_ him? Lucrecia never _wanted_ to carry his child. Jocasta would hurt him if she told him that and she wanted to do anything but that. He was already hurt, knowing that she had _betrayed him._ That Jocasta had betrayed him, not letting him know that his _beloved_ was alive and that he had a son. How was she supposed to let him know? How was she supposed to let him know that his _beloved_ never wanted him, and that’s why she married another man. He wouldn’t believe her, because _Lucrecia looked so right in front of his eyes._ Always so _perfect._

And Jocasta was the _imperfect_ one. The one who _lied_ to him. The one who kept him away from his _beloved_ and his _child._ And maybe that’s why she felt guilt. She hadn’t told him. She couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to hurt him. And maybe, a part of herself didn’t want to lose him. Because if he knew that he had a _son_ with _Lucrecia_ then she’d lose him forever and it sounded _so wrong in her mind._ She scolded at herself for such a thought. She had to remind herself that she just wanted him to be _happy._ No matter what he felt for her. No matter who he’d end up with. _No matter what she felt for him._

“Mom,”

Hester’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She had never called her like that before. Jocasta forced a smile -ignoring the pain- and her hand reached for her face. Hester stiffened when Jocasta cupped her cheek. She gave Sephiroth’s hand a gentle squeeze and spared them both a grateful look.

“Thank you both… for being here,”

Before Sephiroth and Hester had the chance to say anything, a couple of shouts came from downstairs. _That_ was definitely Cid cursing loudly. And then footsteps banged on the stairs. They approached her room and Vincent stormed in with Cid following hurriedly behind.

“What the fuck do you think you’re fuckin’ doin’, Vinnie?!” Cid cried out angrily as his hand reached for Vincent’s shoulder to try and stop him from entering her room.

Vincent was already _too angry._ He hadn’t slept in days and that was pretty much obvious. He was exhausted. His head ached harshly and it wasn’t doing anything to ease his nerves. He turned at Cid and shot him a deadly look with his deep red eyes. A look that made grown men shout and flee for their lives. An animalistic snarl reached his nostrils, and it made Cid pull his hand away from his friend’s shoulder and raise his hands in surrender.

“Aight, aight, don’t go all beast mode into ma goddamn house!” Cid said before he turned around to exit the door. He stopped halfway, though, and he poked a finger on Vincent’s chest “Oh and- if there’s so much as a tear rollin’ down ‘er cheek, you’re a dead man,” he warned before he exited the room. 

Vincent just _hmph-ed_ on the warning that he was going to ignore and he turned his attention back at Sephiroth and Hester who were still in her room. Jocasta’s trembling hands let go off Sephiroth’s and Hester’s, and she turned at both. She knew Vincent wanted to talk to her privately. He wasn’t going to speak until he got that.

“Will you two leave us alone, for a second?” Jocasta asked.

“Are you sure?” Sephiroth asked not once tearing that deadly look that he’d been casting on Vincent ever since he stepped foot into the room.

Jocasta’s hand reached for his cheek, cupping it gently and drawing his attention on her. She forced a reassuring smile at him “Yes. It’s alright,”

Sephiroth nodded, before he pulled his hands away from her, and Hester settled the plate with the soup back at the bedside table. She helped Sephiroth settle the pillows behind Jocasta’s back. Jocasta winced as she shifted her body in a sitting position. Hester took Sephiroth’s hand when she realized that _he wasn’t really planning to leave_ , and she dragged him out of the room with her, closing the door behind.

Vincent took a moment to drag his gaze all around her. Her hair was a black curly mess. Some forelocks fell on her pale face giving her that _deceitful_ beauty that he didn’t want to think of _right now._ He had the paper tight in his right hand. If he was holding it with the clawed hand, he was sure he would’ve torn it to pieces with the pointy metal of his gauntlet. His wine-red eyes shimmered in anger as they finally caught hers. Grey, glistering pupils staring at him in alarm. Her hand was clutching tightly on her belly. She was in pain. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to let it all go and sit beside her, and wrap his hands around her. Draw her scent in his nostrils and tell her _how much_ he had missed her. It’s only been a week. But he exhausted, and angry, and cranky because he _wasn’t_ with her.

 _No._ He scolded at himself mentally. He couldn’t let these feelings cloud his judgment. He couldn’t let them get in the way, because what was happening _now_ was so wrong in so many ways. _Yes,_ she was in pain. She was a mess. She had a cane so that she could walk. _If she could walk._ But he tried to convince himself that he _didn’t care the least. He was in pain too. She_ was the one who had hurt him. 

He tossed the paper towards her on her bed. “Did you know about this?!” he demanded.

His voice didn’t come loud. It was deep and harsh. It made her flinch in her position. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t going to _hurt_ her. _Vincent never would_. She trusted him. But he was angry, and she hated watching him being _angry._ It had only been a few times that she’d seen him like this.

Her trembling fingers reached for the paper that he had just tossed on her feet. She winced as she had to bend her body and grab it. She could say how much angry he was. _Furious._ Because of her. It made sense he’d be. He wasn’t helping her. He wasn’t approaching her. He just stared at her struggling to catch the paper. She knew they’d get to _this_.

She unfolded the crumpled paper and she sighed when her eyes met the familiar structure of a medical paper that contained Sephiroth’s Hereditary Test results.

“Did you know about this?!” He pressed, louder this time, snapping her attention away from the paper and back at him.

She didn’t know if she should tell him the truth, or just swallow it down and replace it with another lie. Lying would be _easier._ Lying would stop him from being mad. It would earn her _a hug_ if she was lucky. The truth would take him away from her, but he was _already_ _away from her_ and she knew she wouldn’t be able to _rest_ if she held the truth back. How was she supposed to explain to him that Lucrecia didn’t want him? It would hurt him. Or maybe, he wasn’t going to believe it.

“Yes,”

He chuckled bitterly and he shook his head. “You kept me away from Lucrecia and our child, just because you wanted me all for your-”

“No! When I found out you were _already_ comatose. You were dead, Vincent! How could I tell you!?”

“How many months did we spend on this ordeal, Jocasta?!” He growled angrily. His fingers clenched into a tight fist as he tried to keep himself from _breaking_ something. _Anything._ “Why didn’t you ever tell me Sephiroth was my son?! Why didn’t you ever tell me Lucrecia is still here?! For all I know, she might still be alive, waiting for us to take her out of there!”

“She locked herself in there for a reason, Vincent! Locked in there is the only way to keep her from suffering!”

“Suffering from what?!”

“JENOVA and the guilt-”

“Guilt!? You saved Sephiroth, you made this right! We stopped the JENOVA War, we killed Hojo! You can take her out of there! You can save her from JENOVA too, I know you can!” Vincent could no longer keep the words back. The anger was replaced in his eyes with hope all of a sudden. Jocasta gritted her teeth. 

“Vincent… it’s not just that. Listen to me, she knew that Sephiroth was yours… and that’s exactly why she married Hojo. She didn’t want a child. She didn’t want _your_ child. She didn’t want a life with you. Why do you think she and Hojo didn’t hesitate to experiment on him? Sephiroth wasn’t his, and she didn’t want him either,” Jocasta tried to reason.

He scowled. _How dare she_ talk about Lucrecia like that? The woman he’d known would never do that. But it made sense. Hojo and Lucrecia _did treat_ that child as a test subject. _No._ He shook his head. _It wasn’t Lucrecia’s fault_. He had to remind himself that it was Hojo’s manipulative words that bought her acceptance on that experiment. She was lying to him. She was lying to him because she wanted to keep him for _herself._ It sounded _preposterous_.

“Am I supposed to believe you?!”

Jocasta groaned. Her hand found her forehead. _Of course,_ he had no reason to believe her. “Believe it or not, Lucrecia didn’t want you, Vincent. She didn’t want to be with somebody that she had _wronged_. That’s why she married Hojo. She found out she was pregnant to your child and she wanted to _cover_ it somehow. Hojo offered to marry her because he needed the woman and the child for his foolish experiment. Lucrecia, of course, accepted, and claimed the child was theirs-”

Vincent fell silent for a second as he listened to the confession. _Bullshit._ He couldn’t believe her. She had already lied to him. How many more lies should he bear from her? How could he know that she wasn’t lying again? The woman she described to him, didn’t sound like Lucrecia. _No._ Lucrecia loved him. Lucrecia would never lie to him. She couldn’t have known that the child was his. It was only her guilt for his father’s death that caused her to marry Hojo. It wasn’t _anything else. It couldn’t be._

Jocasta was lying to him _again_. She wanted to keep him away from his _beloved_ and their son. He felt _betrayed._ He genuinely thought that she _loved_ him, which was supposed to mean that she wanted him to be _happy._ But _no,_ she wanted him all for herself. She didn’t care about his _happiness._ She didn’t care about him _at all_.

“No.” he cut her firmly “Lucrecia loved me… You never did,” and with that, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut.

His words felt like a dagger cutting through her heart. She stood there frozen for a minute or two. Her eyes remained focused on the spot that he had been standing before he left. He left _again_ and she hated that but… _How could he ever think that I…?_ A tear slipped down her cheek and she hadn’t even noticed her eyes had started watering up. He thought that she didn’t _love_ him. He thought that she didn’t _care_ for him. _How could he ever think that I don’t…?_

_Of course, he did._

It only made sense. It would look like she was still trying to keep him away from Lucrecia. _Now_ that he’d found out that he had a son with her… there was nothing keeping him from going back to _her._ It made sense that Jocasta would _lie_ to him. It made sense that she’d try anything to keep him _there with her._

But these were never her intentions. She just didn’t want to _hurt him._ She knew that telling about _Lucrecia never wanting him…_ it would _hurt_ him. But he wasn’t believing her. _Who am I kidding?!_ She had already hurt him. _Again,_ she didn’t differ much from Lucrecia. He felt like she had betrayed him. She was hurting him just as much as Lucrecia had. Her hand found her face and she wept against it.

“I’m sorry…” the words reached her lips between the sobs that seemed to be _choking_ her. She shouldn’t blame Lucrecia for anything. She knew herself was no better. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to make things right. She wanted him to _hold her._

 _Oh_ , but that was never going to happen _now_.

A terrible sob reached her throat “I’m sorry…” But she knew he couldn’t hear her _now_. He was already _gone_ and he wasn’t coming back _this time_. She felt that _pain_ on her chest and it wasn’t coming from her wounds, neither her scars. It was the thought of _never seeing him again._ The voices came back to life inside her mind. She was going to sink back into them. She was going to sink back into her nightmares and the alcohol.

She buried her face in her hands. 

_I’m so sorry._


	60. Touch

They arrived at the apartment that Hester had rented in Mideel that same night. Hester knew she shouldn’t be feeling bad for Jocasta. Jocasta was never there for her. She was never there to _protect_ her from Hojo. She didn’t even know she _existed._ But when she cupped her face like no one ever had before, and _thanked_ her for being there… she thanked them both actually. Both Sephiroth and Hester. Sephiroth seemed to be closer to her own mother than she was.

Hester still hated to watch her being like that. She calculated it in her mind with all the accuracy that she could. Jocasta would have to take a few months before her body would be able to fully heal. _If_ it would be able to _fully_ heal. Sephiroth was going to ask her to be there for her, and Hester wasn’t going to object. Jocasta was her _mother_ after all.

They both lived in that apartment for a while. She’d bought him a few pairs of clothes and he had promised to no longer be a burden for her once he’d find a job and another apartment of his. Having a life that would blend back to the normality -that he’d never had- was indeed _terrifying._ He didn’t know it was to have a normal job. A house. Friends. _Normality._ All he’d known in his life was fighting senseless wars that were never his own. Sephiroth didn’t want to be a burden for Hester. Even though he had feelings for her, every time he’d try to get close, she would push back and she wouldn’t tell him why. He knew that she had feelings for him too.

He remembered their childhood and their teenage years that they spent together in Shinra. They were close ever since. But one day she just pushed him away and she was still pushing him away. _It was okay,_ though. He wasn’t going to _force_ anything on her if she didn’t want it. If she didn’t want _him._

“Are you hungry? I could make something to eat if you want to,”

Her voice came from the kitchen. He approached her and he pressed his weight against the counter. His hands crossed against his chest as he watched her take out a glass and filling it with water.

Sephiroth shook his head “No. I’m just gonna go sleep,”

She nodded “Yeah…” she placed the glass back in the sink “…me too,”

Sephiroth turned around to leave and make his way to his room, but he stopped himself halfway when he reminded himself that he hadn’t told her. His hand reached for the pocket of his pants where he had stuffed the paper that he had retrieved from Jocasta. He handed it over to her.

She unfolded the paper and she tucked her glasses further up her nose as she took a moment to read the results. Her eyes widened for a moment.

“Yeah. Turns out that asshole’s my father,” Sephiroth agreed.

He chuckled bitterly. The only thing he had against Vincent was hurting Jocasta. But _now_ that he knew about both his parents, he didn’t feel any different. None of his parents ever _wanted_ him. He had heard Jocasta’s and Vincent’s conversation. Their voices were loud enough for his enhanced senses to catch. He had tried his best to stop Jocasta from crying after Vincent left. The only thing holding him from slicing his body with the Masamune, was Jocasta’s obvious feelings for the man that he was supposed to call _father._

 _Father._ He didn’t know how it felt like. Having a father, and a mother, most importantly a _mother_ were the two things that he always wanted and he never got. He did get a taste of what it is to have a mother though. He did get a taste of motherly love and affection. Even though it was snatched away from him for all these years, he had found Jocasta again. _Nay, she had found him._ She had _saved_ him. She had risked her life for him. Nobody had ever done that. Nobody had ever done anything close to that for him. He was grateful. He loved her with everything he had. He was going to be there for her. He knew that _now_ more than ever, she needed him.

Sephiroth was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice Hester tossing the paper by the counter and grabbing his shirt. He felt her fingers yanking him down to her. She wouldn’t be able to make him bulge an inch if he hadn’t leaned closer to her as she obviously wanted him to.

Her lips crashed against his and for a moment his eyes widened and his body stiffened. _Where is this coming from?_ It was so unlike her to initiate a kiss between them. They hadn’t kissed for so long. _So long_ meant even before he’d lost himself under the clutches of JENOVA.

Her tongue touched his and he couldn’t help that low groan that he left against her. It made her shiver. There was no longer _guilt_ and _regret._ They weren’t siblings. They weren’t related in any way. They never were, and maybe that’s why every time they’d kiss, even before the Nibelheim Incident, it would always feel _so right._ She would finally be able to let him know that she loved him. She loved him with all her heart. She did for so long. She’d been holding back for so long, because Hojo had told her they were siblings. He was messing with her mind and with her feelings and he was lying. He was lying like he always did. That _wretched_ man she called _father_ and had made her life _miserable._

She shot these thoughts away when Sephiroth pushed back and stared down at her in surprise. His natural crimson-brown eyes examined her face in wonder. His erratic breathing hit her lips. He looked surprised. He never knew and she had never told him. But all he knew was that she _didn’t want him._ That maybe the reason that she’d always pull back, was _a terror for him._ An enhanced specimen in so many ways. But that was never the reason. She didn’t _care_ about his enhanced physique and the scars that he was hiding beneath that shirt. She didn’t care the least. She _loved him._ She did for so long, and she’d been trying to suppress it all these years.

“Hester, what’s-”

“Shut up and kiss me,”

He needed no further prompting. Her fingers tugged on his shirt and he complied immediately. He leaned down to her and caught her lips again. He trapped them between his and he drew and suckled on them knocking a needy moan out of her. His hand found her face. His finger stroked her cheek tenderly as he pulled back again to stare in her eyes and make sure that she _actually_ wanted _this. Him._

A smile caught his lips as her eyes met his and her hand finally reached for his face. Her fingers stroked his cheek and he reveled in every single movement they made on his skin. He never knew how much he wanted to be touched like that. He never knew how much he yearned for this affection. It was nothing but a simple gesture of soft fingers touching his cheek, yet it meant so much to him. He couldn’t remember the last time that anybody had cupped his face like that. He couldn’t remember how it felt being looked at like that.

His hand took off her circular glasses and she let out a small laugh. It was either the fact that she couldn’t see anything without those glasses, or sere happiness. He didn’t care. It sounded like the sweetest sound to ever hit his eardrums. He rested her glasses behind him on the counter. His hands found her waist. His fingers dug in her back, and her shoulders as he dragged kisses on her cheeks, her cheekbones, her chin.

He felt her fingers reaching for his hair, tugging him further down to her. “Closer,” she whispered pleadingly between breathy moans. His hands tightened around her and he picked her up against him. Her legs tangled around his waist. His hand slipped down. Long fingers clutched on her thighs as he supported her against him. His hands pushed her skirt further up her hips, revealing the creamy skin beneath. His mouth found her neck. His lips closed around her skin, sucking and biting. He was being harsher than he intended to, but he had a _need_ that he had to _quench_ somehow. A _need_ for _her._

He felt her fingers clutching in his hair as he buried his face in her neck and started biting and licking. His tongue left back a wet, slick, hot trace of saliva in her neck, his heavy breathing brushed against it, making her shiver. His teeth grazed her skin, leaving a stinging pain that she welcomed with a gasp. A gasp that he loved hearing coming from her. He wanted to make her gasp again. He wanted to make her tremble beneath him. He wanted to take her.

He drew in her scent as his hand reached for her braid, untangling her hair from their tight restraints and setting them free. They fell on her face and her shoulders messily, and he wasted no time to pull on them. He pulled her head back and buried his face back in her exposed neck. His teeth sank in her skin and she gasped again. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her legs were tight around him, and his hands pressed her against him. She could feel his bulge against her thighs. It made her shiver.

He carried her towards her room. His mouth found hers and his eyes shut as he let her down gently once they entered her room. His fingers unzipped her skirt, letting it fall on her feet. She stepped out of it and his hands were already unbuttoning her shirt. He pushed it down her hands revealing her shoulders. His mouth found her skin there right away. His teeth grazed it as he tore the shirt off her body leaving her standing in front of him in her underwear.

She was gasping and trembling as his hands reached around her. He pressed her bare body against his while he kissed, and suckled and licked on her skin. She let out those breathy little gasps and whimpers, whenever he’d bite and lick the marks that he was giving her. Her fingers were tugging on his shirt trying to take it off, desperately. She wasn’t resisting, _not like she did the first time they’d done this so long ago. Now_ she wanted this, _him,_ and he was going to give it to her. He was going to _take_ her, and he didn’t care how much she could handle. He’d been needing this for _so long._ He’d been needing to hear her gasps, her whimpers, her _screams_. He wanted to hear his name, hanging from her lips while he took her.

His fingers were almost dragging bruises on the skin of her back, her waist, her thighs. Wherever they traced they unleashed a _fire,_ and a _pain._ But her _need_ for him, for _more,_ covered any _unnecessary_ pain. He took off his shirt. He wasn’t hesitating. He wasn’t afraid to be exposed to her. He had been _exposed_ before. He had no time, neither the patience to _hesitate._ He _needed_ her, as much as she _needed him._ Her hands wasted no time to touch his skin beneath. The scars. _Souvenirs_ that he carried from the Wutai War. From the rough SOLDIER training grounds. From the experiments that Hojo had conducted him. Scars that he carried ever since he was little. They were once wounds that she had tended. She remembered every single one of them. The wounds he carried when he returned from the Wutai War. She still remembered those little winces and hisses that he had been muffling desperately while she’d care for them. Her hands slipped all over his chest, his torso, his waist, his back. She had memorized it all like a map.

A groan came from his throat while her thin fingers traced a scar. And then her thumb traced another, and another, and his groans turned into gasps. Gasps that came hot against her skin while he wouldn’t stop biting and licking, and suckling, and filling his senses with her scent and her touch. For once, somebody was touching him without hurting him. Her fingers were so soft. They almost felt like a ghost that traced the muscles of his chest, his torso, his neck. Her hands reached for his shoulders. Her fingers caught his hair, pushing him further down to her. She caught his lips with hers.

His tongue lapped on her lips. She welcomed the sweet -yet bitter- invasion of his tongue into her mouth. She moaned and gasped when he pushed his tongue down her throat. She gasped for air as his taste and his scent filled her senses till she could no longer breathe. She made a step back. It was an act only out of instinct. Her body felt like it was in danger, and to _survive_ she had to fend away _._ But her bare back touched the cold concrete wall. She shivered at its low temperature. And _now_ she was trapped, between his hard body and that wall.

She was trapped. His tongue was still down her throat and his hands were behind her. He pushed off her bra with a jerk that knocked a gasp out of her. He picked her up again. Her feet wrapped tightly around him and her back hit the wall as he buried his face between her breasts. He let out a lusty growly as his tongue snaked out on her breasts. He dragged it over her nipple, leaving back a wet, slick trace of saliva, before his lips closed around the erected pebble and he sucked hard till his teeth were marking her skin.

Her hands were tight in his hair as she gasped and writhed. Her head rolled back, her eyes shut closed at the stinging pain and the wet pleasure. Her hair was a mess that fell on her shoulders and her face. A darkening brown wherever her sweat drenched them and caused them to stick on her temples, her cheeks, her forehead. His bulge hit hard against her thighs. His hand found her butt, sneaking beneath her knickers and squeezing hard. His fingers dug harshly into the soft skin, bruising it. But she didn’t care the least. She wanted his marks on her. She wanted to be his. _Utterly._

Before she even knew it, her back crashed on the mattress of her bed. Hands had already torn off her knickers and he was on top of her. He crawled down to her and his lips found hers again, nipping gently on the swollen, rosy skin.

“Wanted this for so long,” he whispered against her lips as his crimson-brown eyes found hers and her half-lidded eyes found his. Filled with desire. It was more like a predator staring down on its prey. He was going to feast on her flesh and he wasn’t going to stop till he’d satisfy that animalistic desire. 

His hands were planted on the sides, beside her head, keeping him from crashing her. His hair fell on the sides of his shoulders and she wasted no time to bury her fingers into it and clutch on them. He took his moment to stare down at her. Observe the fast rate of her breathing. Her pupils dilated, her lips bitten and swollen by _him_. Her neck filled with marks. _His_ marks. He felt a smirk curling at the corners of his lips. She was _his._ He felt proud of that, because he was so _imperfect_ and she was so _perfect._ Her fingers clenched in his hair.

“ _Closer_ ,” she managed, between the hard breaths that she couldn’t stop.

She could feel the wet heat spreading between her thighs. Her body writhed in need. She felt him pressing his tip against her entrance. She bit her lip to muffle a shout as he pushed it. He let out growl as he felt the tight clench of her walls as they sheathed him like a tight fist. Hester let out a strangled shout that worried him for a moment. He wanted anything but hurt her. But she felt so wet and tight and _so good._ His hands clutched around her as he pulled back and snapped back in knocking another shout from her. He did it again, and again, till his hips were snapping back and forth against hers. Her shouts came one after the other and he _loved_ hearing them. He couldn’t say if they were shouts of pain or pleasure. Maybe they were a mixture of both. He didn’t _care._ He wanted to _fuck_ her like that and he didn’t care for how long she could handle. She was _his._ She had always been.

She came hard around him with a strangled shout. Her juices pulled him so deep, a growl left his lips. His hard breathing hit her neck as he buried his face back into it. He felt her whole body tremble beneath him. Her nails dragged pinkish lines on his back as he kept taking her. He wasn’t done. _He was far from done._ His hips snapped against hers. His cock hit her far end as he kept taking her _again, and again._ He muffled her shouts with a hand. Long fingers clamped on her mouth, sealing her lips. Her screams hit his hand, his thumb dug deep into her lower abdomen trying to keep her steady as he _fucked_ her hard and fast.

His teeth bit hard on her earlobe and his tongue flicked out on the bitemark that he’d just made there. His hips kept snapping against hers. His hard member stretched her walls till her whole body was trembling. For a moment he might’ve thought he was being too harsh, but he _didn’t care._ He loved the muffled sounds of screams. The whole bed creaked as he took her. It didn’t take long before she came hard around him again. His hand released her mouth. Her hole convulsed deliciously tight around him, coating his cock in her slick juices.

She was breathing hard. Sweat was rolling down her waist. Her whole body trembled. He stilled inside of her and his mouth muffled her panting with tiny nips on her lips. He pulled back to look down at her. His nose brushed against hers.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked worriedly. He had to make sure before he went on with what he further wanted to do to her.

She chuckled and her hand found his cheek cupping it gently. She saw the way he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers when she touched his cheek. She saw how much he needed _that._ He needed _affection._ Just as much as she did, and she was going to give it to him.

The only thing he got as an answer was her lips dragging kisses on his cheeks, his chin, his cheekbone, his nose. He let out a small moan and he let himself enjoy it all. The soft touch of her lips on his skin. So smooth and _painless._ He’d known so much _pain_ he couldn’t remember how _relief_ felt. But she was giving it to him and he knew it was so much more than what he deserved. He knew she was the only one who would ever _understand_ what he needed. She was the only one who _knew_ him.

“I love you…” it came like a whisper against his lips and for a moment he thought he had imagined it, but then she repeated it “…I love you, Sephiroth. I did for so long,”

There she was. Finally, saying the three words that he always wanted to hear coming from her. Coming for _him._ She _loved_ him. She had finally admitted that. He didn’t know how much relieved and content he felt when she spelled out those _three words._

“I love you too, Hester…” he pulled out of her and then all the way back in, with a harsh slam of his hips against hers. She gasped against his lips. Her fingers tensed and loosened around his shoulders as he pulled deep. “…you’re mine…” he said with a harsh groan.

 _“Yes,”_ she managed before he pulled back and pushed roughly back in. Another gasp left her lips. His fingers dug on her hips as he picked up the pace again. He pulled in and out fast and hard till she was _screaming again._ But this time she was screaming his name and it made him want to _fuck_ her even rougher. His thrusts got harsher and harsher, till her fingers were dragging lines on his back, and his tip hit that _spot_ again and again. She came undone around him. A gush of liquids pulled him deep and her hole convulsed. Her whole body arched, pressing herself against him, but he was still taking her.

He kept the rough pace. His body knocked hers against the mattress with brutal force, and her hands were already on his chest trying to push him away. But he wouldn’t bulge. He wouldn’t _stop_ until he was satisfied. She let her head roll back on the pillows. A series of breathless gasps and pants reached her lips as her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.

His hands grabbed her wrists, trapping them on top of her head, pinning them harshly there with one hand, while the other sneaked between her legs. He was still snapping his hips against hers, hitting hard inside of her and he knew he was close. His fingers gave her clit a rough jerk that had her whole body arching up and screaming.

“Sephiroth! Please…” she could no longer keep it back. She needed to catch her breath. She wasn’t sure if she needed a break or if she needed him to keep taking her till she lost her senses.

His teeth found her earlobe and he pulled hard on it “You want this… you’re mine,” he said with a growl and his palm pressed flat on her clit. She came again, trembling this time, with a high-pitched shout and her legs closing hard around him. Her wetness and her tightening pushed him over the edge of his own orgasm. He didn’t care of pulling out of her. _She was his._ He came hard inside of her. She felt the hot liquid bursting deep inside of her. He let out a low growl as he bit harshly on her shoulder.

His mouth found hers, breathlessly sucking on her lip before he pushed his tongue back into her mouth to taste her once more. His hands tightened around her. He wasn’t going anywhere this time. _Anywhere._


	61. Moving On

**2 Years Later**

_Dizzy._ She felt dizzy as she slipped her gaze all around the amphitheater. One of the many of Edge's Shinra University. She had to make a living _somehow_. And _now_ that there were no fights to be fought and no wars to be finished, she dove back into her work. _Work_. Sweet, _sweet_ science. It kept her mind off things. It kept her focused.

 _Once upon a time_ , she loathed science, but then she realized, it wasn't science that was dangerous. The ways of using it were dangerous. It wasn't science's fault what she had become. It was the people. The false use of it. _Hojo_. The old man was gone but his voice was still loud and clear in her mind. It didn't matter anymore. She had gotten used to it. She had gotten used to the screams. _Her_ screams. The painful memories.

Her demon used all it could to mess with her mind. Manipulate her to its will. It didn't matter anymore. It's been two years. Two, _lonely, painful, torturous_ years. Jocasta never got the chance to let go of the cane. She still had to use it should she walk.

The black wooden stick was tight in her hand as she pressed half her weight onto it. She walked limply towards the desk that stood on the other side of the room. The students were silent. There was never much noise in the amphitheater. Not after Meteorfall.

 _Meteorfall_. It had _fucked_ it all up ever since it happened. They called it the _chosen day_. She never got why they called it thus. The world hadn’t ended that day. She just knew she wished she died when Cloud stabbed her. She wouldn’t have gone through the _pain._ But she had brought Sephiroth back. _The only thing I’ve ever done right._

 _Sephiroth_. It was funny to think of how once sworn enemies were friends _now_. _That's right_. Cloud and Sephiroth had opened a Delivery Service. One in Edge, based in Seventh Heaven, Tifa's bar, and one in Mideel. Hester still had to work there. She was making a research on something in the labs of the clinic. She wouldn't tell her what she had been researching. Jocasta had tried her best to be a good mother for Hester. But there wasn't much left to do. Hester was a twenty-eight-year-old, successful scientist. Her childhood days were over.

Jocasta’s heels banged against the wooden floor of the large amphitheater that was filled with about five hundred students. But there was silence. They made no sound. It made sense that most of them would be somehow traumatized after everything that happened with Meteor. With the amounts of Lifestream that burst from the ground. From the energy of the Mako Cannon that caused Midgar to collapse. Some students were lucky, some others were not. Maybe that's why there was this deafening silence in a room filled with five hundred people. What happened two years ago, had left everybody scarred. Everybody had lost something. _Somebody_.

And _now_ there was another _damnation_ cast upon them by fate. _Geostigma._ The University had been researching tirelessly for a cure. But there was no cure. They couldn’t _hope_ to find a cure if they didn’t know what that thing was. Jocasta had a hunch. She led a team of students in the research. A couple of volunteers, suffering by Geostigma, had offered to help. It was JENOVA.

Alien cells infested their bodies. Their immune systems tried to fight them off by creating _antibodies_ but the problem was, that the antibodies were never effective enough. That _thing_ was _alien,_ it was foreign and unfamiliar for both T cells and B cells to recognize and destroy. Which meant, that the defense mechanism of a human organism -the immune system- was _useless_ when it came to JENOVA cells. But _still_ the immune system tried to fight them off, resulting in destroying its own tissue. _Septicaemia._ A blood disease. She had encountered that before, on Lucrecia, but this time the tissue _rotted_ and she didn’t know why. This time, the JENOVA cells were _killing._ In Lucrecia’s case, they _weren’t_ _letting_ her die no matter how many times she tried.

But now things were different and she didn’t know what made them _different._ That being was _everywhere._ She had tried using the serum with the 100% compatible antibodies that she had constructed herself. The one she had used on Sephiroth, destroying all JENOVA cells from his own body and thus _bringing him back._ But it didn’t work this time. _Could it have mutated?_ She was still working on that, but she was also still working on _so much more._ She was working _on herself._

Jocasta was so good at concealing it. The _pain_. She was trying to find ways to stop it, though. She had been renting a small apartment two years now, nearby the Shinra University of Edge. She had a couple of tools that she used in that apartment. She had set her own little lab there. A small room filled with microscopes, and lancets, and fluorescent dyes, and samples and chemicals. She used them to figure out ways to make the _voices_ in her mind stop. To make the pain on her stomach _stop._ She had bought whatever she needed. The salary that she had gathered from teaching at the University was enough.

She had gotten a couple of suggestions to work for the colossal company. Shinra was still standing tall on its feet even after their actions. Actions that had almost doomed the world. They were searching for a new Head for their Research and Development Department. She couldn't return back to the labs of that _cursed_ company. They would ask her to do things she won't be able to. She would never get back to working for them. She had sent her biography to the University and she was accepted with open arms in the Life Sciences Department. She didn't know if she was a good teacher. She didn't know if she even deserved to be there. It was just a job that would help her pay her taxes and her rent and get on with her life.

Jocasta's fingers were right around the handle of a cup. The cup was supposed to contain coffee. But it didn't. She chuckled to herself. It contained the honey-colored liquid that she couldn't stop consuming for the past two years. _Whiskey_.

 _Oh dear_ , she definitely did not deserve to be there. She was probably a _sucky_ professor. Going drunk to her job, was a bad idea, but it had already happened a thousand times, and it didn't matter anymore. Alcohol was the only way to stop the voices inside her head. It was the only way for her to have her mind at ease and focus on the task at hand. On what she was supposed to teach. It kept her mind off things. Things _and people_ that she didn’t want to think about. Alcohol made things tolerable. _It did._ It was the only _relief_ that she had _now._

Especially, teaching first-year students, was the trickiest part. Jocasta sighed as she slipped her gaze, meeting the endless pairs of eyes that stared down at her in utter curiosity, waiting for her to speak. She shook the dizziness and the impending need to faint. She had to focus.

Trembling fingers reached for her notebook where she had been noting what she was supposed to teach the classes she had. _Genes_. She _hmph-ed_ and slammed the notebook shut before she headed away from the desk where she rested her bag.

" _Genes_... What are Genes can anybody guess?" Jocasta asked. A couple of hesitant hands rose up and Jocasta’s eyes tried to search for someone amongst the students that looked _sure_ about what they had to say. She never pressured her students, and she never wanted to make any of them feel uncomfortable. She was trying her best to be _friendly_ with them.

When she first started working at the University, she found, that she was never explaining anything _by the book_. She was explaining things, putting her own words in them, which, she found, wasn’t something common amongst the rest of her fellow _Professors_. So many of her students tried to learn everything _by the book_ which was a mistake. Reciting everything without picking at the endless pages of a large book, _doesn’t mean you know what you’re saying._ Understanding things took time. It took Jocasta her whole life.

Jocasta finally spotted a student that seemed lesser nervous than the rest of them. She pointed a finger at the young man and he spoke “Genes carry the hereditary information passed down to us by our parents,”

“Correct,” Jocasta said as she made her way back to the desk “Genes contain all the information that make a being. From your eye-color, to how the hepatic cells should function. Every single cell contains the very same entire genome…” she chuckled “…and here’s a tricky question that every single Professor uses in the exams to confuse you-” Jocasta stopped talking when she noticed a familiar redhead sitting on the steps of the amphitheater.

She recognized the style. Unbuttoned shirt and a black jacket on top. The electric rod with Shinra’s sign, stuffed in his black pants. She sighed. _Reno._

She tried to ignore him being there and get on with the question that she was about to make. For a moment, she feared that she had actually forgotten what she had to say, but even though her mind was drenched in the booze, she was surprising herself when the words reached her lips faster than she expected.

“…Since all the cells contain the same genome in their nucleus, how come the cells of a eukaryotic organism, differ in shape, function, and purpose?”

She didn’t know how long she had been talking, trying to explain how that worked. How every cell _transcribes_ a different sequence from that of another cell, even though they contain the entirety of the _same genome_. But then the bells resounded and she dismissed the class. Jocasta headed towards the desk and she stuffed her books back in her bag, before she passed it around her shoulder and she grabbed her cane. She took the last sip from whatever whiskey remained in her cup and she tossed it into her bag as well.

Jocasta heard clapping. She pressed half of her weight on her cane. She ignored the permanent pain that stung ruthlessly on her stomach as she looked up to see who it was. She sighed.

“Bravo, Professor. I almost learned how genes work,” Reno said with a cocky smile curling over the corners of his lips.

Jocasta ignored the remark and she walked past him “Tell your boss I ain’t interested,”

She headed towards the exit of the amphitheater, but then he spoke and what he said, made her stop, and her eyes widened.

“We found **it** ,”

Jocasta’s fingers tightened around her cane as she urged herself to turn and look at him. He had the most serious expression that she had ever seen on Reno’s face. She pursed her lips. She knew he was talking about JENOVA’s head. What else could it be? For a moment, she felt that urge to accept the offer and examine the alien and find out what else it could give to her. Something that would stop Geostigma for taking numerous lives each day. Something that could repair the permanent damage to her organs. Damage that she’d caused to herself _trying to run to him._

_So stupid, I am._

But then she reminded herself that it was Shinra. Shinra had started all of this so many years ago, asking for scientists to examine the body of an unknown being and _now_ it was happening again. And if things went downhill, _again,_ it would be her fault this time, because she won’t be able to deny doing whatever Shinra was going to ask her to do. _No. I’m not going back there._

Jocasta resumed walking outside the door “Not interested,” she repeated dryly as she walked out of the amphitheater and back into the endless corridors of the Life Science’s building. But then she heard a groan, and fast footsteps as he hurried towards her and stepped in front of her, catching her attention and stopping her from walking.

His hands found her shoulders “Wait, Professor! You’re the only one who knows how that being works!” but then he noticed the deadly expression that she shot him and he pulled his hands away immediately “Please, we have no one else to turn to,”

“Do you seriously think that I’ll believe that? So many scientists of Shinra’s worked alongside Hojo for years…” she poked a finger on his chest urging him to get out of her way “…ask them,”

“Dr. Hojo worked on the alien alone, Professor Ernchester. It was a strictly classified Project,”

“Classified my ass-”

“At least, you could speak with the President. That’s all he asks of you,”

Jocasta sighed. All _he wants is to speak._ Speak. Talk about what? A contract? New problems and ask her to fix them? Jocasta groaned irritatingly. The Turks had been coming to her for months asking her for _speaking_ with their boss about JENOVA’s head. She could at least go to him and spit to his face that she wanted no part in whatever he was getting himself and his company into.

“Speak…” Jocasta turned her head at the side to shoot him a glare “…that’s all we’re gonna do.”

Reno let out a sigh of relief “Great! I got a car waiting outside. I’m gonna get you to him,”


	62. New Threat, Same Enemy

Reno drove quite dangerously between the streets of Edge. Jocasta didn’t quite care though. _Honestly,_ crashing onto somewhere with a car, sounded almost like a good idea. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t letting herself buy a car. Her head was still buzzing from the excess amounts of alcohol that she had consumed the past twenty-four hours. It wasn’t damaging her organs. It wasn’t scarring her kidneys like it would to a normal human organism.

Whatever damage came to her, was being repaired immediately. Except maybe the one on her stomach. That one was much like the scars on her body. _Permanent_. Where that stinging pain hit her like a blade, burying itself through her insides and made her body fold and her fingers clutch on her cane. She had nowhere else to clutch onto. Nowhere else to reach out for support to walk. Her _supporter_ was a dead piece of wood.

But it _did_ hurt less this way. At least _now_ she was alone and she had lost it all, and she had nothing to get attached to. She only had her work. _Work._ She was absorbed into it. She forgot about everything else. She had distanced herself away from everybody, no matter how many times Tifa had asked her to visit them and stay. No matter how many times Cid and Barret and Sephiroth would call to keep her aware of their whereabouts and their progress on stuff that kept them busy. They would tell her different things every time, and every time, she’d have nothing but to tell them the same. _Work. Teaching. Researching._ That was all. That was _indeed_ all.

Reno’s continuous cursing reached her ears. He had dialed a number on his phone and he’d been waiting for somebody to pick it up from the other side of the line. Whoever it was, it took them long to respond, and maybe that’s why Reno was cursing.

But when they responded, Reno tensed up right away, eyes widened, fingers clenched around the steering wheel “Lockhart? You’re Tifa, right? Where’s Strife? …Reno, Reno, the hot redhead from the Turks. I chased ya guys down lots of times, remember me? …good. I have a job for Strife. Let him know will ya? I’ll be waiting for him in Healen,” and with that, he ended the call.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “So that’s where you’re taking me,” it made sense. Shinra had turned that place into a Medical Center for the people affected by Geostigma, dedicated to the research for a cure as well. She raised an eyebrow “Does Rufus have it too?”

On that, Reno didn’t respond. He just let out a heavy sigh and dialed another number on his phone, before pressing it against his ear. He waited for a good, few beeps before they picked it up.

“Hey, Hester babe, how you been doin’-? No wait! Don’t hang up! Hest-! Wait! Hester!” he groaned and flipped his phone closed, tossing it on the passenger’s seat beside him. “Your daughter’s a real pain in the ass, ya know,” he looked back at Jocasta through the mirror.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “What do you need my daughter for?”

“Tryna get in touch with her man. He doesn’t pick any phones of Shinra’s,”

“And what do you need Sephiroth for?”

“Classified,”

She pursed her lips “Too bad. He _would_ pick up my phone, but since it’s classified then I guess-”

“Fuck this,” Reno cut her with a sharp curse “I’m not sure if the boss’s planning to give you that briefing, but we got a new problem. We need all the help we can get,”

“Ah so another senseless war of yours that needs to be fought,” Jocasta said and she sighed. She grabbed her phone and flipped it open. She found Sephiroth’s number and called him before she handed her phone back to Reno.

_This is gonna be fun._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Reno and Jocasta reached Healen Lodge a few minutes later. It was a series of buildings and cabins where the President of the company resided. The clinics were filled with people that suffered from Geostigma, and doctors and research scientists were experimenting and researching in the labs. The entire settlement stood between forests and waterfalls nearby Edge and the Chocobo Farm.

No matter the _fanciness_ of it, Jocasta knew more than anybody that Shinra hid great _ugliness_ and _distortion_ behind the beautiful buildings. Shinra was left with nothing but the Turks. Lots of their SOLDIERs were gone ever since Meteorfall, crashed below the rubbles of Midgar. What used to be a great city was something no more than a ghost town, where people didn’t hesitate to scavenge all they could. It was said that Shinra used the remains of Midgar to build Edge. It made sense. There was always that smell of rusty metal in Edge. The smell of decaying flesh while people died from Geostigma and rotted in the streets with nobody to pick them up and bury them.

It wasn’t all Shinra’s fault though. Jocasta hated to admit, but Shinra shouldn’t hold all the blame. Hojo should. JENOVA was the _virus_ that had planted itself in the center of the Planet. The Lifestream burst out to stop Meteor, containing remnants of JENOVA’s cells, and thus they entered people’s bodies and caused _Geostigma._

Jocasta made a hum of acknowledgment. She hadn’t thought about it that way. Maybe that was indeed how the JENOVA cells entered people’s bodies. She noted to herself to test that theory once she’d get back to the research labs of the University.

Reno led her upstairs. It was tricky to walk up the stairs. The fingers of her one hand clutched on the handle and the other, on her cane.

“Need some help, grandma?” Reno said sarcastically as he waited for her.

Jocasta shot him a deadly look. She wanted to tell him to _shut up_ but she pursed her lips realizing that he was making a pretty solid point. She was very much aware that she wasn’t projecting the picture of a twenty-six-year-old.

“Well, what do you know… I’m old enough to be one,” 

He chuckled as he lent a hand over for her to grab and push her up the last step. She sighed and took his hand, pressing some of her weight to it. She let out small wince and her fingers clutched tighter around the Turk’s forearm than she intended to. Reno’s other hand reached for his pocket, pulling out some keys and he turned to unlock the door letting her walk it. It was a small empty office. There were doors leading to other areas of the building.

Sephiroth was already there. His back was pressed against the grey wall. He wore a grey shirt beneath the leather black jacket and dark grey pants. His hands were crossed against his chest and his attention was focused on the floor, waiting. That, until she and Reno entered. Sephiroth immediately hurried towards her. A hand was around her before she knew it, to catch her should she fall.

“Sephiroth…” Jocasta gave him a smile and pulled him into a tight, brief hug.

“Joe…” Sephiroth pulled back to look at her. He smelled the alcohol right away “…you’ve been drinking, _again_.” He gave her a warning look “What did I say about drinking?”

Jocasta sighed heavily “You told me not to but…” she tried to search for an excuse “…I had a lecture today and I needed my mind clear,”

“You have lectures every day,”

“…exactly,”

He sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but he forgot what he had to say when a cry reached his ears. Both Sephiroth and Jocasta turned at Reno who had whipped out his rod and crashed it with a very familiar kind of sword. Cloud avoided another attack of Reno’s, moving out of the way. Reno found himself outside and before he had the chance to rush back in, Cloud slammed the door to his face. Reno opened it up again and tried to walk in.

“Okay, so you’re good-” But Cloud slammed it back closed, locking him outside.

 _“Hey!!!”_ Reno’s voice came from the outside as he banged the door and Cloud ignored him.

Jocasta cringed, “Was that really necessary?” she asked.

“He attacked. He’s a Turk,” Cloud reasoned before he set to placing the sword back on the cases on his back.

“He’s right,” Sephiroth agreed.

“Sephiroth, three men on motorcycles set me up on my way here. They looked quite like how you looked,” Cloud said.

Sephiroth made a hum of acknowledgment. “Remnants. JENOVA used to speak of those,”

“Good, then we can all understand each other,”

A voice came from behind and they all turned and saw Rude dragging a man on a wheelchair into the room. Both Cloud and Sephiroth pulled out their swords at the Turk and the man, covered on a white cloth, sitting weakly in the wheelchair. Jocasta could tell his attention fell on her, and although half his face was covered, she could still see a smirk forming on his lips.

He noticed the cane on her hand. Her fingers gripped it tightly, pushing some of her weight onto it “You’ve started acting your age,” Rufus said sarcastically, and Jocasta could’ve sworn, Sephiroth was about to attack.

“Says the thirty-two-year-old in a wheelchair,” She couldn’t help but shoot this back at him. Jocasta’s hands reached for Sephiroth’s and Cloud’s, urging them both to lower down their weapons.

“Rufus Shinra,” Cloud said as the realization hit him “Do I feel sorry for you,”

“What do you want from us?” Sephiroth asked as he settled the Masamune in its case on his back.

“I need yours and Cloud’s assistance to fight this new threat. The Remnants. Professor Ernchester, we need your expertise. You’re the only one who can figure out what JENOVA’s after this time,” Rufus said.

“JENOVA’s dead-” Cloud tried to say but Rufus cut him.

“Yeah, but has her mind died? Or does she keep living on, inside the bodies of the Remnants?” Rufus asked.

“Theoretically speaking, yes,” Jocasta answered and everybody turned their attention at her “Whoever’s been exposed to the Lifestream that contained JENOVA’s cells and stopped Meteor, they have them into their body. The only difference with the Remnants is that the JENOVA cells have affected their minds…” Jocasta shrugged “…that’s all I can guess though. I guess… those infected by JENOVA cells have the Geostigma… because maybe Geostigma is a _punishment_ for those who do not give _in_ to her wills,”

“Sephiroth. The Great War Hero of the Wutai War was injected with JENOVA cells even before he was birthed. Yet he does not suffer from the Geostigma unlike the rest of us. I’d like to know what changed that,” Rufus said turning his attention at Jocasta.

Jocasta sighed “I made a serum of antibodies for the JENOVA cells. Antibodies that detect them and destroy them. But I’ve researched Geostigma in the University. My serum is not going to work because the tissue of your bodies, is rotting away, and the rotting parts contain JENOVA cells, so if I am to inject you with my serum, it’s not only going to destroy the JENOVA cells but all the cells of your body that _contain_ them. I can’t promise you any positive results if we try this,”

“Then find something promising, Professor. People are dying,” Rufus reminded her and Jocasta pursed her lips and bent her head over.

He was right. She should stop focusing on _her misery_ and try to focus on _saving lives._ But she had let go of that _doctor-ish_ instinct. That excessive desire to _help_ and _save_ people. _Protect_ them from illness. These were the vouches that she’d taken once her Doctor's Degree was handed to her. Oaths that she had inevitably broken all these years that she was trying to survive. She knew that her own _personal_ drama shouldn’t keep her from _saving_ people. It was her job. She shouldn’t be letting _anything_ interfere with her job.

Sephiroth noticed the sudden silence that fell and he looked down at her troubled expression. “Even if she agrees, what makes you think that we’ll believe you? What will make us want to help you? After everything your company’s done to us,”

“I acknowledge that Shinra owes the Planet a lot. It goes without saying that my company and I are the ones who put the world at the sorry state it’s in. Therefore, it’s our responsibility to make things right…” Rufus said and then Reno’s voice came from outside.

_“I’m still out here!”_

But everybody ignored him and Rufus went on with what he had to say “…we have commenced an investigation on Geostigma. We went to look for traces of JENOVA’s, and we started… do you know where?”

 _“The Northern Crater!”_ Reno’s voice came from the outside.

“But we didn’t find anything,”

Jocasta raised an eyebrow. _Right._ Reno telling her that they _found **it** _-JENOVA’s head- was probably a motivation for her to come there. Or maybe Rufus was lying. It made sense that he would. Cloud still had JENOVA’s cells inside of him. He could still be used by her as _a puppet._

“However, not all went as planned. We were interrupted. Kadaj and his gang,” Rufus said.

“Kadaj?” Cloud asked.

“Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. The three Remnants. They’ll be after you two as well…” Rufus said turning his attention at Cloud and Sephiroth “…if they haven’t already found you,”

“We want no part of your senseless wars,” Sephiroth said.

“Leave us out of this,” Cloud said.

“How? Your ties to JENOVA lead as deep as ours do,” Rufus said “In order to combat Kadaj, we need people of your expertise. Will you two join us? You’re both ex-SOLDIERs,” Rufus said.

Cloud chuckled bitterly “In my head,” he turned around to open the door but he stopped halfway “Rufus… if you’re hiding something-”

“I’d never lie. Not to a comrade,”

_Right._

Cloud sighed before he opened the door and tried to leave but he met Reno who was still outside.

“C’mon, guys. Think about it. Together we could rebuild Shinra!” Reno said cheeringly and that was exactly what made Cloud and Sephiroth push him aside and walk away.

“Not interested,”

Jocasta turned to follow the other two. She brought her cane forward to take a step away, but Rufus stopped her.

“Professor, may we speak, privately for a moment?”

Jocasta sighed as she turned around and shot Rufus a look. Sephiroth was waiting for her outside “Give me a second,” she said before she walked towards him and cupped his cheek “You go. Reno will give me a ride back home,”

Sephiroth spared a look at Reno who nodded and then he turned his attention back at Jocasta “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” She nodded and she gave him a reassuring smile.

The worried expression on his face disappeared and he pulled her into a tight hug. Jocasta smiled as she pressed her chin on his shoulder and caressed his back soothingly.

“Tell Hester I love her, will you?” Jocasta said before she pulled back and cupped his cheek.

Sephiroth nodded “I will,” he gave her _almost a smile_ before he pulled back and headed towards his own motorcycle, mounting it and driving away.

Jocasta turned around and walked towards Rufus and Rude. Reno finally entered the room and closed the door behind. “What do want me for?”

“We retrieved JENOVA’s head from the Northern Crater,” Rufus said and Jocasta chuckled.

“Not lying to comrades, are you?”

“It is highly critical that I keep the alien’s location classified,”

“And what do you want me to do? Study it?” Jocasta asked.

“It could provide you with the data that you need to piece together, and end Geostigma,” Rufus said.

“I have JENOVA’s entire genome written down and translated into DNA in my own data files. Her head will provide me with nothing but more cells to experiment on. Cells that I can generate in a lab on my own. You should’ve never gone for the head. It was best if it remained hidden, because if the Remnants find it and Hojo’s Reunion theory is true…”

What would happen if the Reunion theory was true? She tried to think about it for a moment. What if that alien got its cells back together? Merged into one. Would it be able to have JENOVA reborn? If that ever happened then the world was doomed once again. If that being came to life, then the world would be at risk and the entire human race would be hunted down by the alien being. A being that wiped out the Cetra so long ago, and even though _now, parted, but not dead,_ it was still stirring up trouble.

“That’s it… the Reunion,” Rufus said as if he’d realized something.

“Hojo didn’t leave any notes back, did he?” Jocasta asked.

Rufus turned at Rude and he nodded at him. “He did. Would you like to have a look?”


	63. Friends with the President?

Whatever was saved of the Corporate Archives, was moved back to Healen and stored there, in small libraries. There weren’t much saved, considering the Shinra HQ collapsed with whatever the Weapon had thrown at it. Rude led Jocasta between the mazes of corridors of the huge building that _now_ served as the President’s residence and convalescence.

There was the faint smell of dust in the air. The corridors were dark. Rude’s hands reached for the switches on the walls, opening the lights. They finally reached a room that Jocasta assumed was the one they’d been searching for. There were multiple boxes, stored in metallic shelves, containing papers and old folders and books. There were labels attached onto them and Jocasta made her way, limply, towards them.

Her fingers traced the labels as she searched for Hojo’s handwriting. A penmanship that she knew well.

“I’ll be waiting here,” Rude announced her as he stood beside the door, with his hands grabbing on top of each other in front of him.

“Thank you, Rude,”

Jocasta turned her attention back at the old boxes. They must have gathered whatever they could find through the rubble. The Corporate Archives were critical. They kept information about the company and it’s past. It was weird to think of how the past could hold some wisdom for the future. Maybe that was why Rufus had the Turks and whatever remained of their SOLDIER’s to go out for searching and retrieving them. Jocasta’s fingers slipped over another label of a box. There were two more stored beside it.
    
    
      _JENOVA Project_
    
    
    
      _Project S_
    
    
    
      _Project G_
    

Jocasta pursed her lips. She knew all about these Projects. She was there when Hojo initiated them. She grabbed the _JENOVA Project_ box and she pulled it out. Jocasta knelt down with a little bit of effort, and a wince. She rested her cane flat on the floor and she took out a couple of folders that she recognized all too well. She fumbled through the pages of test results, and research notes. It was critical that lab technicians kept notes of every single step of what was happening in the labs.

But since Hojo worked on JENOVA on his own, then that meant, that he was the one who was supposed to keep these notes. She only hoped she could find them. She found a notebook. ' _Omega'_ written on the label on the front. It sounded like the things in Lucrecia’s Thesis. The entities that she had been studying. One of them was _Chaos._ Vincent’s demon.

 _Vincent._ She had tried so much to keep him out of her mind. And it worked. Her work helped. _Alcohol helped_. She felt that need to drink, but she knew she couldn’t have that _now. Don’t think about him._ She reminded herself and she turned her attention back on the notebook in her hands. She opened it and she started reading. Hojo’s letters weren’t the easiest to read. She doubted anybody in Shinra could decipher what the old man had to say. But she had learned his handwriting those years that she’d worked with him.

_December 19 th, 1988_

_Dr. Crescent’s Thesis_
    
    
      **“Soul wrought of terra corrupt,  
    
           Quelling impurity,  
    
           Purging the stream  
    
           To beckon forth an ultimate fate  
    
           Behold mighty Chaos  
    
           Omega’s squire to the lofty heavens.”**

> _So, it seems, Chaos is real. Specimen H108 is alive. Body undissolved. The Mako Energy of Chaos courses in his body. The decaying stopped successfully. I shall pursue tests on the genome._

  1. _Unleashing CH568 on the Hypothalamus. Purpose: endurance in cold and hot temperatures._
  2. _Today the specimen endured a voltage of 280W_



This went on for a few pages. He had written down in detail everything he’d done to Vincent. Jocasta felt her stomach clench when she tried to imagine the pain that he must’ve gone through. He was _alive_ when Hojo did all these things to him. Jocasta felt her nose stinging and tears gathering in her eyes.

Vincent was always quiet, but after what Hojo had done to him, he’d gotten worse. All these scars on his body. She still remembered every single one of them. He was so broken and hurt and she had hurt him even more, and maybe that was the pain that she was feeling. She had tried to reach out to him, but he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t have a phone. He was nowhere to be found and she couldn’t go out and search for him. Not in the sorry state that she was.

He hadn’t come to her either, and she didn’t blame him. She deserved the loneliness and misery. She had hurt him. At least, it felt like she had.

> _If Chaos is real, then so must be Omega. Omega’s awakening happens only by the flux of pure Lifestream. Pure Lifestream only flows out when people die. 30 people will do for the experiment that I’m planning for subject H109. Such a shame. Jocasta Ernchester was a brilliant scientist. Let’s see if what I’ve done to her will make her body capable of enduring a part of Omega._

Jocasta’s eyes widened. She took a moment to read again, and again the same passage. 

_A part of Omega… inside of …me?_

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Cold. Actually, he would’ve known if he felt cold if he wasn’t a _monster._ An enhanced experiment. Vincent wandered around the Forgotten City. It was quiet and peaceful. The trees had that white glow, enough to light his way through the forest in the middle of the night. The sky was covered behind a thick layer of clouds. It was either going to rain or not. He couldn’t say. All he could do was stare at the distance as he drove his motorcycle down the endless road that led deep beneath the mountain, towards the Forgotten City. The City of the Ancients.

He didn’t know what he found in the ruins of a place abandoned so long ago. He just knew he liked the _quiet._ The silence of a place that still miraculously stood. All its residents, gone. It was nothing but ruins and tombs. Much like _himself._ Perhaps that was the solace that he found in this place. A familiarity. _Broken and ruined_. That’s what he was.

He didn’t know what he felt anymore. He couldn’t believe that Jocasta would ever do something like that. She kept him away from Lucrecia and their son. _Lucrecia._ He’d visited her cave a couple of times. Listening with grace to the whispers. Her whispers as they echoed out of the crystals where she was trapped in. Maybe Lucrecia did want to be there. It was the only thing that Jocasta had said and it made sense. Lucrecia wanted to be into these crystals. It kept her mind at ease. It brought her peace. He wanted anything but to find her a way out of it only to live an eternity in pain. _No._ He wanted her to rest in peace, no matter how much it hurt him. No matter how much he needed her out of there and in his arms.

He chuckled bitterly. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held her. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held _somebody_. But _now_ that he took a moment to think about it, it hasn’t been long since the last time he did.

 _Jocasta._ Where was she? What was she doing? Was she alright? _No._ It was stupid of him to think of her. It made his heart ache and his fingers clench around the handles of his motorcycle. But she did look bad the last time he’d seen her. He could still remember how hard she’d been trying to keep herself from crying. Her fingers would clench around the bedsheets. Her hair was a mess, her whole body bandaged. A cane rested by the side of her bed. Sleepless just like him.

Exhausted. Both were exhausted because they hadn’t slept beside each other. And sleep without her was a nightmare. It was bound to end with his screams in the middle of the night. With sweat rolling down his temples and his left clawed hand clutching tightly onto something and destroying it. Destruction. That was all that he was capable of. These were the nights that he’d been spending two years _now._ Sinking back into his misery and his nightmares. _No._ It was _her_ fault. _It was her fault._ If she could just tell him. If she would just let him know that Lucrecia was alive. That Sephiroth was his son.

 _Of course,_ she knew and she didn’t tell him. She wanted to keep him away from Lucrecia. She wanted to keep him all for _herself._ She didn’t care about him. She didn’t care about him _at all_ and it _hurt, it hurt_ and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t bear the nightmares and the voices in his mind that were louder than ever. He thought of going back in that coffin and welcome the eternal slumber. But he couldn’t die no matter how much he wanted to. Chaos wouldn’t let him. His body was genetically engineered so that _he wouldn’t die._

And he hated that. He hated that he was locked in a constant torment. He hated himself because he wanted to go to her. To Jocasta. And apologize even though he knew he had nothing to apologize for. He didn’t care whose fault it was. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to see if she was okay or not. He wanted to know if she was safe. But he couldn’t do any of these. It would feel _wrong_ to do _any of these._ She didn’t love him. He thought that she did.

She was lying. She was lying when she said that Lucrecia _never wanted him._ Never wanted _him_ and _his child_ and that’s why she agreed with that experiment. That’s why she married another man. She never _wanted him._ How could Jocasta ever say something like that? _No._ Lucrecia wasn’t like that. Lucrecia was _sweet and kind and perfect._ She was all that he could ever ask for. She loved him. Jocasta never loved him. At least, that’s what he thought.

But did he? Did he feel something for her -nay- did he love her? Could he love her? For a moment he thought that he did. Or at least, he _wanted_ to love her. She had given him the affection no one else had in his life. She had loved him in ways that he never thought anybody would. She had given her life for his son. A child that he never knew he had. He didn’t know what to feel about this. He didn’t know what to do.

Instead, he just spent those two years, debating on whether he should go back into that coffin and hope that every time he’d sleep, it would be his last, or just wander around Gaia and try to find meaning in this life. He’d lost all contact with the others. They had saved the world, but he still ended up exactly like he was. He couldn’t believe that for a moment he thought he could have this. _Love. Completion. A normal life with somebody._ It sounded so _foreign_ to him. An untouchable dream. The only one he ever wished for.

Vincent spotted two figures lying on the soil in the distance. There was a box resting somewhere around the place. Over the pond where Cloud had let Aerith. There must have been people camping in the woods. Vincent stopped the motorcycle and parked it, but much further away from the pond. He couldn’t trust that whoever camped in the woods, wouldn’t attack him.

He checked Cerberus and loaded a couple of bullets until it was full. He placed it back in its case by his thigh, and Vincent set off to check out the campsite. He normally wouldn’t get himself involved in anything. He couldn’t care less about what people do, but the two figures of people lying on the soil looked suspicious.

He focused his attention on his surroundings. His hands were always nearby Death Penalty and Cerberus settled neatly in their cases on his thighs. His hair fell messily on his face. He’d learned to ignore the annoyance of the pitch-black locks that always covered half of his face, and blocked some of his vision. They’ve always been so impractical. But he _didn’t care,_ honestly. They had grown those thirty years he spent into that coffin. His demon was keeping him alive and it still did. He was locked in an eternity of _pain._ He couldn’t care any less about the hair.

Vincent finally approached the bodies. He recognized the one. They were both formally dressed into an attire that he knew all too well. Black tie, black pants, white shirt, and that black zipped jacket on top. The Turks used to wear dark blue back in his days. It was a man, with long black hair. He recognized him. _Tseng._ Jocasta had saved his life in the Temple of the Ancients. It seemed so long ago, but he hadn’t changed much. The woman was passed out beside him. Blonde, short-haired.

They were both filled with cuts and bruises. Blood trickled out of their lips. Their white shirts were bloodstained. He could say that they must have been badly wounded beneath their jackets. They were drenched in blood. Vincent knew that whoever had done this, wouldn’t be far away.

Vincent looked around cautiously for a moment, waiting for somebody to attack. He didn’t see any motorcycles nearby or any other kind of vehicle. The ashes of the campfire were cold, and the box was locked, and too heavy for anybody to pick up and steal it. He approached Tseng and the girl. They would die if he let them out there.

The girl was easy to pick up by his one shoulder. Tseng was a little bit heavier, but he managed it, settling his limp body by his other shoulder. Vincent started heading away, but then he heard gunshots coming his way. He shifted away from the bullets that would’ve gotten him. He thought it’d be difficult to move with the added weight, but it wasn’t. He _guessed, Hojo had dealt with that too._ The only problem would be the bodies falling from his shoulders.

Vincent’s one hand reached immediately for Death Penalty and he turned at the direction that the voice came.

“Where do you think you’re taking them?!”

It was a man dressed in black leather, with gauntlets in his hands. Another man came beside him, with guns, as he kept shooting at Vincent. Both had long silver hair and eyes that he’d seen before. _On Sephiroth,_ before he was brought back. Vincent groaned irritatingly. He wanted no part in any new wars that were starting to rise up.

The man with the gauntlets ran towards him, but Vincent was faster. He aimed and shot at his shoulder, while he avoided a couple of bullets that came his way. The man with gauntlets was fast as he jumped away from the bullets that reached him. Before the gauntlet got to hit him, Vincent jumped out of the way and used his strength to land on the bark of a tall tree.

His hands clutched on the bodies on his shoulders, making sure that they wouldn’t fall off, and he jumped onto another tree, then another, until he reached far from the camp of the two strange men, and found his motorcycle. He settled the two bodies on the ground as gently as he could manage. He made sure their backs were resting against the white bark of a fallen tree. If they had internal hemorrhages _anywhere,_ they had to lie their bodies up so that they wouldn’t suffocate in their blood.

Vincent reached for his bags that were loaded on his motorcycle. He counted the bandages that he possessed. They should be enough to get them both patched up. They were still unconscious on his process to care for their wounds. Vincent knew he didn’t have Jocasta’s expertise on medical procedures, but he had taken all the training that he needed in the Turk Academy.

They were both badly wounded. They must have been in immense pain but, _thank Holy,_ that they were passed out. They wouldn’t let him deal with their wounds if they suddenly woke up and saw him, a stranger, helping them out. And he was in no mood to explain himself in _any_ way.

Treating bullet wounds, and deep cuts, fractured ribs, legs, hands, immense hits on the head, bruises. He’d learned to deal with all of these. _Now_ it was a little bit trickier that he had to do it with one hand. The left hand was wearing the gauntlet and he couldn’t take it off for _a reason_ that he didn’t like to think about. But then he reminded himself that there were even missions where he had to deal with these things on _himself._ He knew the pain all too well. It was a pain that wasn’t worse from the one that he’d passed through in Hojo’s labs. 

When he finished patching them up, Vincent decided to keep guard and wait till they’d wake up. As much as he hated to admit, he needed answers. Why would anybody beat somebody to death? _There are lots of reasons_ , but the two men that he encountered before, had a _familiarity_ that he’d seen only once before. On Sephiroth. _His son. His_ and _Lucrecia’s_ son. Maybe that was the only reason that he needed answers. If these men had anything to do with Sephiroth, he wanted to find out.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

She didn’t know how many hours she spent in that room, studying files and sorting papers. Test results, and notes of Hojo’s. It was all clear _now._ Whatever he’d done to her. It all made sense. Why would he try to make hers and Vincent’s bodies so enhanced and endurable to _everything?_ He needed strong bodies for a reason. Only a strong, undissolved body would be able to handle Chaos, and the same goes for a body that harbors _Omega._ Or at least, _a part of Omega._

But why would Hojo care about trying to fit entities into bodies? It didn’t make any sense. Jocasta thought that his primary goal was to use JENOVA and bring all the destruction that made him content. But it looked like he was only using JENOVA to satisfy Shinra’s wills. His research on Omega and Chaos was a whole different thing. He hadn’t noted anywhere what Chaos and Omega were capable of doing, but her demon’s voice was almost _too loud_ inside her head, screaming at her to stop reading whatever she was reading, and leave this place. She had learned to ignore it, though. She needed answers.

“Found anything of use?”

She lifted her attention at the young President who guided his own electric wheelchair into the room. Rude was still standing there at the entrance of the room. Rufus nudged him to leave them alone and close the door on his way out. Rude walked out and closed the door and Jocasta sighed as she turned at the President who was half-covered with that white sheet on top of him.

Jocasta's hands reached for a bunch of notebooks. _Her_ notebooks. The ones that she had stored in the basement of her house back in Nibelheim before Hojo got his hands on them and used all she had to offer to become Head of Shinra’s R&D.

“I did,” She said “These are mine, by the way. I’m taking them with me,”

“These are property of the company, Professor,” Rufus said.

Jocasta sighed “Let me have a look on that eye, will you?” why else would he be covered like that if it weren’t for the eyes and half of his face covered with the stigma?

Rufus made a hum of acceptance and she got up from the chair that she was sitting on, and she walked around the table towards him. His stigmatized hands reached for the sheet that covered his face and he slowly pulled it away. It wasn’t all of his face that was covered by the stigma, but he did have a bandage tied around his head and his one eye. Jocasta rolled a chair closer and she sat on it. Her hands reached for the bandage.

“May I?” She asked and he nodded silently.

She unfolded the bandage off his head revealing the eye beneath. It wasn’t as bad as the ones that she’d seen in cases that she had met in the University and the Hospitals. But it wasn’t good either. The whiteness was mostly covered in bulging veins. The inside of the eye was bleeding. The blue of his iris was almost contradicting to the red that surrounded it. The skin around was black, stigmatized with his dead cells that were overflown with JENOVA’s black fluid. Jocasta sighed cupping his face. She pulled her hands away and she looked for the things in her bag.

“Who’s been overseeing your recovery, Mr. President?” Jocasta asked.

He watched her while her hands fumbled through her bag searching for something. “We hire only the best Doctors, Professor,”

“Yeah… right,” Jocasta said doubtfully as she took out two ampules and a syringe. One ampule contained a purplish liquid, and the other a greenish one. She grabbed the syringe and she skillfully loaded it with a few milliliters of the greenish liquid.

“What’s that?” Rufus asked cautiously.

Jocasta pursed her lips as she watched the liquid being poured into the syringe. “Thirty-five years ago, I started researching on self-healing. It took me a while before I figured out a way to decode JENOVA’s genome and find out what that being was capable of. Self-healing is one of its abilities. I translated into DNA that specific sequence that’s needed for self-healing and I grew it into bacteria. The liquid that they produce is this,” Jocasta explained. She tapped the syringe with her fingers “There you have it. Self-healing,”

“You’re not convincing me, Doctor,” Rufus said incredulously.

“Mr. President, if I don’t fix that eye, you’ll lose your sight,”

“Why would you even want to fix me?”

“For the same reason, I fixed Tseng while you left him bleed to death back in the Temple,” Jocasta reasoned and he fell silent for a moment. Was she hitting a spot? She sighed. She had to talk in _his language_ “Alright, then, let’s make a deal. I fix your Geostigma, you give me back my notebooks,”

He chuckled bitterly “Fix my Geostigma? I’ve got numerous scientists researching on it for months and they haven’t found anything. How am I supposed to believe that you can actually-OW!”

The sting on his arm was sudden. He didn’t have the time to muffle the sound. She had actually injected him with the greenish liquid. Jocasta cringed. She never had a stable arm to make painless injections. Still, the greenish liquid coursed all around his body and suddenly the pain on his eye and wherever he had skin rotting away, it just stopped. He could see clearly with his eye. He could move his hands and his feet without wincing in pain. The black marks were disappearing with new tissue being repaired.

“With all due respect, shut the fuck up, Mr. President. I’m trying to fix you here,” Jocasta said calmly as she pulled out the needle and pressed a piece of cotton drenched in alcohol on the tiny hole that she had created on his skin.

“What the hell?!” He cried out frustrated as his other hand reached for the cotton and he pressed it on his forearm “I didn’t take the fucking deal!”

“I don’t care,” Jocasta said as she came back with another syringe filled with the purplish liquid this time.

He grabbed her arm. His fingers clenched tightly around her wrist, on that scar that was made there by Hojo’s cuffs while he’d experiment on her. Jocasta winced visibly. An expression of pain caught her face as she remembered the sting around her wrists at the time that she was cuffed daily. He would’ve attacked her _if he could move._ But what she had already unleashed to his body, seemed to be working. He knew he’d be able to stand on his feet _now_ and that was _massive_ progress comparing to what his own _Doctors_ had tried on him to help him recover. He shouldn’t be hurting her while all she seemed to try to do was _fix_ him, but he couldn’t trust _anybody._ It was his job not to.

“And what is that?” He asked and she knew he wasn’t going to unleash her hand unless she explained.

“That is the serum that I injected Sephiroth with, two years ago. It contains the antibodies that detect and destroy JENOVA cells inside one’s body. So, now, I used the self-healing serum, to heal -nay, replace- all the damaged cells of your body, and now I’m gonna inject you with the antibodies. They’re going to instantly wipe out every single cell of JENOVA’s from your body. So, there you have it, a cure for Geostigma. Mind letting my hand go?” Jocasta explained and she could tell that he needed a moment to process what she had tried to explain.

Her words made sense and he did feel better _already._ So, he let go of her hand and she injected him again nearby the same spot on his forearm. The sting came much smoother this time and he could already feel a _weight_ lifting off of his shoulders. Maybe she had _indeed_ figured it out.

Jocasta pulled out the needle and pressed on the tiny whole with another cotton drenched in alcohol. “You’re welcome,” she said as she tossed the syringe and ampules back into her bag, along with her notebooks. She passed the bag by her shoulder and she made her way towards the door to leave, but he stopped her.

“Professor…”

Jocasta sighed irritatingly as she pressed her weight on her cane and she winced on the effort to turn her body and look at him. He had stood up, off the wheelchair for the first time in _months._

“…how do I repay you?”

“Nothing. Just… save the world. Don’t destroy it for money. Don’t be a prick like your father. You know you’re better than that,”

And with that, she turned around and, limply, walked out of the room. She found Reno waiting by a car outside. He was going to give her a ride back home.

_Maybe the Turks and the new President aren’t so bad after all._


	64. Problems

Night arrived by the time Jocasta got off Reno’s car and walked towards the entrance of the huge building that contained flats, including hers. Silence had fallen in the streets of Edge. The sky was covered behind a thick layer of dark clouds. Of course, nobody dared to walk alone at night. It was dangerous for normal citizens to be robbed _or worse._ So, Reno walked out of the car once he parked it outside the building, and he stood by it, waiting for her to walk in before he’d leave. He was following direct orders from the President.

Jocasta grabbed a group of keys from her bag and she unlocked the door. She looked back at him from her shoulder and she forced a smile at the Turk. “It’s alright, you can go now,”

“Not until you’re in, Doc,” He crossed his hands against his exposed chest as he pressed his weight with his hips resting against the car.

Jocasta chuckled “Thanks, Reno,”

“Just doing my duty,” 

Why did it sound so familiar? _Ah, yes_ because she had that conversation before with a Turk. It was so long ago but his voice was still in her mind. It was that night that Gast had called her and asked her to help him deal with Ifalna’s wounds. Wounds made by the experiments done to her under Shinra’s labs. Vincent was still her bodyguard back then and he wouldn’t leave her side no matter how hard she had tried to lie to him. He was still a Turk. He could still report that Gast and Jocasta were _helping_ the test subject _escape._

But nevertheless, Vincent still waited for her. He had kept guard outside Gast’s house and waited almost the entire night till she finished dealing with Ifalna’s wounds.

_“Call if you need anything,” Vincent said._

_Jocasta nodded and she turned her attention to opening the door and exiting the car, but she stopped halfway and gave him a smile “Vince… thanks,”_

_Vincent eyed her for a moment before he tried his best to return the smile “Just doing my duty,”_

_Reno, why did you have to remind me of him?_ Maybe it wasn’t his fault at all. Maybe it was her mind linking everything to _him_ without leaving her at peace, not for a mere second. Why did she have to need him so much?

Jocasta felt the sting in her eyes letting her know that tears were already trapped on top of her lower eyelids. Tears of sadness but also _anger._ She was angry to herself. She _hated_ herself for being like this, for the sake of a _man._ It was so, so unlike her. She’d fallen down the same pit when her long-gone fiancé died, but two years after his death, she wasn’t _that miserable._ Maybe what she felt for Vincent was something _so much more._

 _No._ She didn’t want to cry. She did not _need_ him. She made it _damn well_ two years without him. But she knew that _that was a lie._ _Well… almost._ She knew she was just trying to convince herself about something that wasn’t even true. She hadn’t made it _damn well._ Drinking and sinking into misery and nightmares wasn’t _damn well._ Crying herself to sleep wasn’t _damn well._ Wishing every second that he was there to hold her _wasn’t damn well._

 _No. She wasn’t okay._ But she had to keep telling herself that she was. Keep telling herself until someday she would believe it. Even though she knew that, that day would never come. But _time heals everything._ It healed her hatred for Hojo, her thirst for revenge from Shinra. She had saved the President because she no longer felt _angry_. She knew that anger wasn’t going to change the past. It wasn’t going to heal her scars and bring herself back to _normality. Besides,_ Rufus was nothing like his father. She had seen the difference from the beginning.

But what was going to heal her _now_ was herself and nobody else. Jocasta entered the building and watched from the glass as Reno got back in the car and started driving away. She locked the door and walked limply towards the elevator. She couldn’t take the stairs. Her apartment was on the seventh floor.

She opened the door of her apartment and walked in. It was all so dark and quiet. She liked the quiet, but she wasn’t fond of the _lonely_ part. She sighed. It didn’t matter anymore, though. Jocasta took off her bag and her coat, and she hung them by the coat stand. She didn’t go back to her room, nor opened the TV to check on the news. She didn’t care the least.

Jocasta walked in her _lab._ Or at least, something that looked like a lab. She had been working on _herself._ Trying to find ways to get rid of the cane and that insistent ache on her stomach. Jocasta sat down on her chair a little bit harsher. Her feet let go of her weight faster than she expected and she landed on the chair with a wince and a hand clutching on her stomach. She was so _miserable_ she couldn’t stop reminding herself of the _sorry state_ she was in.

The voices were loud in her mind and she groaned, rubbing her aching forehead with trembling fingers. Her hair fell messily on her shoulders, and her face, but she didn’t mind. Her hand reached for the half-filled glass of whiskey that she had left on her desk last night. She chugged it down, allowing down her throat whatever was left in the glass and she placed it back on her desk. Her hands reached for her glasses and a book.

She didn’t really need the glasses, but her effort to stay to awake most nights was doing a number on her tired eyes. The glasses helped make things less _tiring._ She fumbled through the pages on a book focused on Gastroenterology.

She was going to rid herself of that pain on her stomach. She _would._ All she could make out was that she was scarred on her organs, and the scars were probably causing the pain. She couldn’t walk, she could barely move. She couldn’t leave an eternity thus, and her _demon_ wasn’t doing anything to stop it. She knew that it was probably enjoying watching her being like this. _Miserable._

 _Omega._ So that’s what its name was. It wasn’t talking to her unless when it had to pretend _voices._ The voices in her nightmares that she couldn’t get rid of. Nightmares that she knew she’d never get rid of if _he_ wasn’t there. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ She was an _idiot._ An idiot for wanting him. For _needing_ him. For wishing _every single second_ that he was there. It made her sad. But she was angrier than she was sad. She was _frustrated._ Frustrated with herself. Frustrated that she _needed_ him.

 _No. I never needed anybody._ She was never that kind of woman. When Tedric died, she got over it quicker than she could ever admit. But this time, things were different. It felt so much different and she _didn’t know why._ Maybe what she felt for him was _real._

 _No._ Her hands reached for the book that she had been studying. She needed to keep herself focused on something else. _Anything._ She would do anything to keep her mind off of _him._ She would do anything to keep her mind off of her misery and hurt feelings. She pushed her glasses further up her nose and she turned her attention back on the book.

Maybe there was no need for surgery. Even though Dr. Alford from Mideel’s Clinic, let her know that surgery wasn’t _possible_ to fix whatever was going on in her abdominal area, she knew she _couldn’t_ stand by and live her eternal life like _this._ She wanted to be able to walk without using a cane. She didn’t _care_ about physical pain. She had gotten used to the pain. If she could fix herself, she was going to _fix_ her _fucked up_ mentality.

Nobody was going to pull her from her misery if not herself.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Marlene would ask to take her to Aerith’s church every once in a while. But with Cloud _gone_ and Denzel sick at home, Tifa had a hard time complying to the little girl’s wishes. It was still difficult to say _no_ when she’d stare at her with those big, brown eyes. It was unbelievable to think of how much _two years_ had helped Marlene _grow._ Tifa didn’t want to think of what would happen when Marlene and Denzel would _actually_ grow up. She would always see them as they are _now._

Marlene’s laughter echoed inside the empty church. It was a miracle of how it was still standing even after Midgar’s collapse. _Aerith’s church_. Tifa didn’t know if she should feel the sadness taking her all over or just let herself enjoy the _tranquility_ that always seemed to be in this place. Maybe that’s why it was the only place in the entire Midgar where flowers still grew. And there was still a handful of them, lying in the distance.

But there was something else. Tifa’s eyes caught it immediately. Somebody was living there. There was a folded sleeping bag, a locked chest, and a lantern. Marlene rushed towards them. She leaned in her little legs and she looked over them in question.

“Does Cloud live here?”

“I guess he does,”

 _Of course._ Where else would he be? He would be to the one place he felt _closest_ to _her._ She knew Cloud _loved_ her and maybe at some point, she loved him too. _Aerith, why did you have to leave?_ Why did she have to die? Why did it have to hurt so much? All these days and months that they spent together, fighting for the best of the world, it was bound for them to bond. It was bound for them to be _friends. Best friends._ But for Cloud and Aerith, things always led to something _more._

Tifa didn’t know if she should feel jealous or _sad._ Maybe the _latter_ sounded more mature. It made more sense to be sad. _Aerith_ was her friend too. All that Tifa wanted for her was to _be happy._ Cloud was her friend too. _Actually,_ she didn’t know what Cloud was to her. She wanted him to be so much more but most of all, she just wanted him _to be happy,_ and if Aerith was the one that would make him happy, then Tifa wouldn’t mind.

But Aerith was _gone._ She was gone and it hurt everybody, but most of all, Cloud. And Tifa _hated_ to watch him crawling in his misery like this. Taking all the blame for hers and Zack’s death. He must’ve felt so _alone_ and Tifa had tried her best to let him know that he wasn’t alone, until one day he just disappeared. She’d called so many times, she’d break down so many times and he wasn’t there and he was hurt and alone and she blamed herself for that. She was the one who had to be there for him and she had _failed_ on that and that’s why he’d left.

But she was still wearing that pink ribbon on her shoulder. Everybody in the team did. She too had lost. She too was _broken_ just like everybody was after the JENOVA War. She was amongst the War Heroes that ended it but there was never a _victory fanfare._ There was never a celebration. It was no victory. All had lost in this war. There was nothing but mourning and grief. Everybody had lost a _little bit of something._

Then her eyes caught something else. She felt her stomach clench and a lump forming in her throat. _Bandages._ Bandages drenched in that black, dense liquid that an effected body secreted. Tifa had learned all she could about Geostigma so that she would be able to treat Denzel. But _now_ her fingers clenched into fists and for a moment she stopped breathing.

Cloud had it too. _No… no, no, no._ She felt her world falling apart. _Cloud had it too._ Tifa wanted to do nothing but break down and cry her eyes out but Marlene was there and - _no-_ she had to stay strong. She had to swallow down that lump on her throat and blink her tears away. And then it all made sense. He _wanted_ to be alone no matter how much he hated it. He _wanted_ to sink back in his misery and solitude. _Sure,_ Aerith’s death brought him down, but _now_ that he had Geostigma… it was all that it’d take to give him a final _push_ towards depression.

Marlene picked up the bandage from the chest. Her curious eyes scanned it “It’s just like Denzel’s,”

“Why didn’t he say something?” Tifa couldn’t keep the words from reaching her lips.

 _Why didn’t he… Oh,_ but she knew why. He’d given up. He was too tired. He had been through so much in his life. He had fought so many wars that _now_ he was tired of fighting. He had fought wars that weren’t even his, but _now_ this _war_ was for himself and his rotting body, and he was _too tired_ to _fight._ He had given up and he was just waiting till the day he’d die, ‘cause maybe death sounded _sweeter_ than the life that he’d known ever since he was little. Death was going to bring him _peace._

 _No._ How could he? How could he not think of her? How could he not think of Marlene and Denzel? Denzel looked up to him. He wanted to be like him. He craved for Cloud’s attention more than anybody. And _now_ Cloud was just going to stand back and wait for death, and he was going to welcome it with open arms because he was so tired of _his life_. 

But how _dare he_ not think of her?! How _dare he_ not tell her? How _dare he not_ let her help him? She wanted to help him more than anything else. She would do anything to keep him there with her, but he was _gone_ and he was _dying_ and she was going to lose him. _No._ She had to stop thinking like that. They would figure something out. She wanted to be there for him. She would try anything to be there for him but he wasn’t letting her. 

“Is Cloud sick?” Marlene asked worriedly.

“No…” She knew Cloud. She knew him well enough to say that he _wasn’t_ going to let her be there for him. He was _tired._ Maybe that’s why he had left in the first place. “…he just wants to fight alone,”

“Fight?”

 _No._ He wasn’t going to fight either. He was just waiting. Waiting for death’s _sweet, sweet_ embrace. “I don’t think that he will,” _Of course,_ he wasn’t going to fight. _Tired._ He was tired.

“Tifa?”

She had realized she had drifted off for a moment. Lost in her thoughts. In the tense feelings brought by that sudden realization. She was going to lose him. She was going to lose him and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to bear that. She snapped herself out of these thoughts. She had to focus on _now._ On Marlene’s big, brown eyes as they stared up at her in utter worry. Tifa forced a smile. The widest she could. She leaned over the small girl, trapping her hands between her thighs.

“Let’s go home, Marlene,”

“We can’t! Cloud’s not here yet!”

Tifa sighed as she took the bandage in her hand and she took a moment to stare at it. “I know, sweetie. I miss him too…” she sighed as she placed the bandage back on the wooden chest and she turned at Marlene “…so,” she forced a smile “…say he comes back,”

“We all go home,”

“Not until he… gets a lecture,” 


	65. Solutions

She hadn’t realized she had slept on her desk _again_ until she felt that familiar pain on her back and her shoulders. Her hair fell messily on her face and she realized her forehead pressing against her forearm. Her glasses were smashed between her nose and her sleeve. The blue pen was still between the fingers of her right hand.

Jocasta didn’t know what time it was when she began to stir. She just knew she was probably late for her classes, and she knew she should be expecting a lecture from the tutors for being late. _Again_. She lifted her face off the desk. A tear found its way down her cheek. She couldn’t care any less about her being on time at the university. Another night with impending nightmares had passed. She’d learned not to _scream._ She didn’t want to irritate her neighbors.

And then came the headache. An insistent pain that stung harshly on her forehead. She winced and her hand found her temples, massaging the pain away. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get rid of it. It was a headache that she got every single morning. She knew drinking was a bad habit, but it quieted her demon’s voices in her mind and allowed her to sleep for even just a little. But the nightmares were _bound_ to follow.

Jocasta slipped her gaze on her desk trying to remember what she had been looking for last night. _Ah, yes._ She had constructed another serum. This time it carried another sequence of JENOVA’s genome. It had taken her the entire night to grow it into genetically engineered bacteria and extract it into an ampule. She had injected herself with a needle that would allow her body to consume the liquid in that ampule. She knew it was a process that was going to take time, so she’d let that needle piercing veins of her abdomen for the entire night.

She checked on the ampule. It was empty. There wasn’t much left of the greenish liquid. Her body must have absorbed it all and she just hoped that if she was to get off her chair, she wouldn’t feel the pain on her stomach and the rest of her organs.

Her trembling fingers reached for her stomach, and then lower down her abdomen. She spotted the needle, pierced inside her skin below her black shirt. She pushed it out and pressed on the hole with a piece of cotton drenched in alcohol. She let out a small wince and she placed the needle with the ampule back on her desk.

An empty bottle of whiskey rested on top of her desk and she groaned. She must’ve consumed all of it last night. She noted to herself to pass by the store and grab some more. It was weird to think of an addiction that would normally kill her, it was actually _saving_ her from her nightmares. Alcohol wasn’t much different from _him._ Both love and alcohol _hurt and kill._ Love hurts _more_ than those hangovers. More than the need to puke her guts out those nights that she had spent passing out by her bathroom’s floor. Love was an addiction _far_ worse than alcohol. **_At least, alcohol lets you know._** _It warns that it’s capable of killing. Love is deceitful. It hides beneath deceitful **beauty**. **What an atrocious feeling.**_

_What a treacherous… treacherous feeling._

She didn’t want it. She wasn’t going to let herself _embrace it_ ever again, because she knew that it was going to drag her down a hole again. A hole that she’d have to claw herself out and stand up _alone._ She didn’t care about loneliness. She had been alone her entire life. But it was _love_ that made her _hate_ loneliness while she should be _embracing_ it. It was _love_ that gave her fake hopes for something better. Something that she _couldn’t have._

Jocasta took off her glasses and rubbed her stinging eyes. She must’ve been smelling horrendously _bad._ She knew the effects of alcohol all too well. She checked on the clock that she had on her desk. It was 11 am but, _thank Holy,_ it was Wednesday and Wednesdays’ lessons started after 12. If she was fast enough, she’d be able to make it to the University on time.

Jocasta stood up on her feet and her hand reached for her cane that she had left standing nearby her desk. Searching for the cane had become a habit. She knew she couldn’t walk without it. She couldn’t move around her apartment without it either. Basically, she couldn’t do anything without it. It angered her not being able to _stand on her own._ But still, her only support was that dead piece of hard wood. It wasn’t a man, nor a woman, nor a friend, nor a _lover_. _Bullshit._ Her support was still herself and she was more than glad about that.

But then her stomach churned and twisted. Her fingers tightened around the cane and her chair. She knew the feeling. It was a feeling that she’d gotten _almost_ used to. It happened almost every day. It was the alcohol that she consumed that her body couldn’t take. The toxins gathered in her stomach, with a need to spit it all out.

Jocasta hurried towards her bathroom. Cleaning up a puked mess on her desk and her office was the last thing she wanted to do. She had no time, nor the mood for this. She hurried over the corridors and rooms of her apartment, bumping onto things and maybe breaking something along the way. She felt no pain on her stomach while she did that, but the need to hurry and move was far more urgent.

By the time she reached her bathroom, her one hand was already clamped on her lips as she tried to suppress it. But then she fell on her knees and crawled towards the toilet where she finally let it all out. It was going to leave her with a hoarse throat and a trembling body. A drop of sweat slipped down her forehead and she was sure that her clothes were drenched in it. Her one hand held back her hair while the other clutched on the white marble.

When she was sure that her stomach was _content,_ Jocasta fell back on her bum, coming in contact with the cold marble floor. She breathed hard. She felt exhausted. She felt the bitter taste of whatever was left of it on her tongue. It made her want to gag and maybe puke something more. But she hadn't eaten anything yesterday, nor the day before that. She knew that filling her stomach with nothing but alcohol, it would destroy the tissue of a normal person’s stomach. But she wasn’t a _normal person._ Not anymore.

She sucked in a few deep breaths and her hand reached for her forehead. She wiped the sweat with the back of her palm and she wrapped her hands around her. Her back pressed against the wall and she let her head roll back. She closed her eyes and just waited for her body to compose itself. She needed a moment to catch her breath. A moment so that her hands would stop shaking.

She was so used to picking herself up. So used to this. She had no idea how it would feel for once if somebody offered to _pick her up._ Carry her out of her misery. Away from her nightmares. Away from feelings of pain and helplessness. She felt so helpless standing there on the bathroom floor of an empty apartment. The only sound, the sound of her own heavy breathing and the voices inside her mind. Voices only she could hear and maybe that's why she felt so alone.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she was too tired to wipe it. She was too tired to scold at herself for being like this. She was being like this _for a man._ A man that she knew he'd never come back to her no matter how much she wanted him to. She had _screwed_ this _up_. She had hurt him and she wouldn't blame him if he never came back. She wouldn't blame him if he'd never get to feel anything for her. She knew he loved Lucrecia more than anything, and he always would and she had to remind herself of that. But there she was, sitting and crying on the bathroom floor. Drinking so that she would forget _him._ Drinking so that she would silence the voices inside her mind. It was funny to think of how _drinking_ put her in the sorry state she was in, but it was still her only salvation from nightmares and impending thoughts of _him_.

It made things tolerable no matter how many times she found herself puking her guts out. No matter how difficult _standing_ had become. No matter how much she was failing in her job as a Professor and Doctor because of it. It was just another harmful but _sweet_ addiction and she hated herself for falling into it because of a _man. What is wrong with me?_

No matter how many times she asked herself of that, she never got an answer. She still kept drinking and slipping into her misery and her depression and it still felt like _home. Sure,_ she never was as miserable as she was _now_ , but she -sure as hell- had gone through a similar situation. She felt the same, but _now_ it was ten times worse and she didn't know why. _Sure_ , she'd slipped back into drinking when Tedric died so long ago, but never did she drink _that much._ Never did she feel so helpless her entire life no matter what happened. Even when her parents died and she was left alone in the streets, she was never so helpless. She could stand on her own two feet, a twelve-year-old back then, but she couldn't stand on her own _now. Now_ that she was fifty-eight years old with the mentality of a twenty-eight-year-old.

 _What is wrong with me?_ She asked herself. And when she realized that she had no answer, she asked herself again, and again. Still. No answer. She had to admit it. She had to admit that she was _helpless._ That she _needed_ him. No matter how wrong it sounded and no matter how much she wanted to scold at herself for feeling this way, she couldn’t change the way she _felt._

_Feelings. Emotions._

_Emotions are the ones who destroy us._ Would it hurt less if she shut them all out? She wouldn’t feel pain if she didn’t let herself _feel at all._ But then she shook her head. It sounded so immature to just shut feelings out. She would be a coward if she did that. _But what if I am? Who cares?_ She didn’t care. But she knew that no matter how hard she’d try, she wouldn’t be able to _convince_ herself that she wasn’t _feeling anything._ She knew that if he came to her -one fateful yet cursed day- and if he hugged her, she would _feel._ She would feel so much that her heart would burst into pieces, and she would _let him in_ no matter how many times she promised herself _never to fall again._

 _Love doesn’t ask if you want it._ She certainly _didn’t_ want it. She didn’t.

Jocasta knew she had to stop crying. It wasn’t changing anything. It wasn’t going to _solve_ anything. She had to get back into that University and announce at her research team that she had figured it out. She had figured out how to heal Geostigma and she was going to put an end in this. In that _misery._ She was the only one who _could._ It was funny to think of how she could save all the others, but not _herself._

She got up pressing her hands over her sink, to pull herself up. She gathered a handful of water and threw it on her face. The water was cold and refreshing. She needed something cold to get her mind off the booze. She looked at herself in the mirror. She still had those dark circles around her eyes from the exhaustion. Grey irises stared back at her, surrounded by bleeding veins in the white of her eyes. All effects of the alcohol.

Her hair was a dark mess that fell on her shoulders and her back. Her skin was white. Whiter than the marble of her sink. She was wearing a grey, loose sweater that exposed her one shoulder. It would expose so much more if she wasn’t wearing another thin black, sleeveless shirt beneath. The scars on her bare shoulder were visible in the mirror. _Thank Holy,_ she was wearing that black shirt beneath.

 _Black_ pants, _black_ hair, _black_ shirt. It was all so _black_ and she didn’t mind. The _craziest_ colour she’d ever worn was light blue. How could she ever wear anything besides black? Her parents died, her fiance died, her sister disappeared, and _now_ her own _beloved_ was gone and never coming back. 

But what surprised her the most, was the absence of _pain._ The absence of _physical_ pain. Her hand snaked beneath her shirts and her pants. Trembling fingers traced over her abdominal area where she used to feel most of the pain. The pain that made her want to clutch on a cane should she walk. But there was no pain this time. Her fingers traced the scars on her belly as she tried to make a move that would normally _hurt._ It didn’t.

She made a step forward, waiting for herself to cry out in pain and collapse on the floor. But she _didn’t._ There was no pain. For once, she made a step without the need to clutch on a cane. Without the need to faint, and crash on the floor. She wasn’t falling. She was standing _on her own two feet_. She could stand. A laugh reached her throat and she couldn’t suppress it. She could _walk._ She could walk. She never felt so _content_ about walking. An act that people took for granted while they cherish it while they had it.

She had made it. She had fixed herself. She had made this right.

A smile caught her lips. She hadn’t _smiled_ in so long. This was a sincere smile. _She could walk._

She was going to walk her way to the University. She was going to _stop_ Geostigma. She was going to save people. She was going to be _herself._ Dr. Jocasta Ernchester used to help people _daily._ She was going to do it _now._ Do it again. She was _born_ to save people. She knew that. She’d always known that. Maybe that’s what saved her from the drunk misery that she was in when Tedric died. _Her work._ And _this time_ her work was going to save her, _again._

She was grateful. 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The sky was clear this time. It was night. The moon was almost full and the glow of the trees was enough light to stand in the forest. The Forgotten City. He was still there, waiting for the Turks to wake up. He needed answers, and they wouldn’t give him answers if they were dead. Their condition was getting better by the hour. They should be able to be back on their feet by the morning.

Vincent knew that they would try to attack him. _Of course_ , they wouldn’t trust him unless Tseng somehow recognized him. Maybe Veld had talked to Tseng about him or maybe he hadn’t. It didn’t matter. It’d been so long since he’d been a Turk. He was a Turk in a life that he’d lost. He died as a Turk and _now_ he was something else. Maybe _someone_ else too. He just knew he’d never be the same. He had _died._ He had lost so much, including his life.

It didn’t matter though. It’s been so long. Brooding wasn’t going to fix anything. He had to focus on _now_ and the task at hand. His enhanced senses caught something coming his way. Vincent bowed immediately, avoiding a side-kick that would’ve had his head buzzing if he stayed put. Tseng and Elena were up _so it seems._ He’d been expecting them to attack.

A sidekick knocked Tseng on his knees. He jumped back up again. His hand reached for his guns that were supposed to be fitted in his belt. He groaned when he realized that they weren’t there, and by the time he raised his fists up his head, ready to engage in hand to hand combat, he realized that Elena was already knocked over, and a gun was already pointed between his eyes.

Tseng _hmph-ed._ Foolish of him to assume that the stranger hadn’t already scavenged their weapons.

“If I was intending to harm you, I would’ve done it already,” Vincent said as he pulled down his guns and settled them in their cases tied around his thighs. “Ma’am,” He lent a hand over to Elena, who had fallen back on her bum on the soil, with a wince. She looked up at him surprised for a moment before she took his hand hesitantly and he dragged her back up on her feet.

“Uh… thanks?” Elena said unsurely, receiving a glance of disapproval from Tseng. _What?!_ She mouthed at him with a shrug and a scratch on the head.

“Then you must want something,” Tseng said. _Of course,_ he did. Nobody just _helped_ with nothing in return.

“Who are the people who did this to you, and why?” Vincent asked as he turned his back at the two. His eyes fell at the distance that spread in front of him as he waited for an answer.

“That’s classified info,” Elena said.

He was so tired of playing _games._ He didn’t _give a shit_ about what’s classified and what’s not. Nor about Shinra’s intentions with the unknown men that he’d encountered while trying to save the two Turks. Her reply wasn’t answering his question and he was too tired to repeat it.

Tseng sighed at the silence that followed. He had noticed the bandages on his hands. This man had _saved_ them but there was something else. Something oddly familiar in the way he fought. Stances that he himself had memorized during his Turk training. And then he saw the pink ribbon tied around his right hand. He knew that Strife’s team, they all wore a pink ribbon tied around their hands to honour _Aerith’s_ sacrifice. The mere thought of _her_ made his fingers clench into fists and his teeth grit till his jaw ached. But - _no-_ he had to shut the emotions out. There was no room for regret and sadness and _pain, now._ Aerith was _gone_ and it was his fault. He was the one who had failed to protect her.

 _No-_ There was no time for _this._ For this… _pain_. He’d learned to control feelings. He’d learned to keep himself locked in the deepest parts of his mind and force nothing but a mask. The mask of a man that it wasn’t him. Aerith could see through that. She always could.

“Vincent Valentine,”

Finally, the realization hit him. They had learned all they could about Strife’s team back when they were still chasing them. But Veld had indeed mentioned a lot about an old colleague of his.

“Wait- Hojo’s Specimen No. H108?!” Elena asked almost excitedly “Holy crap! Do you harbour Chaos inside of you?! How does it-”

“Elena,” Tseng cut her with a strict tone and he suppressed the need to rub his -already in pain- forehead.

“What? Aren’t you at least a little bit interested in how that works?!” Elena asked incredulously.

“It works. Now,” Vincent turned around to face the two, pointing a gun on Elena’s head.

She raised her hands in defeat immediately and Tseng threw a protective hand in front of her urging her to stand behind him. He didn’t really know what made him want to do that. It was just an act out of instinct.

“Answer the question,” Vincent said, shooting a deadly look at Tseng and clenching his fingers around the handle of Cerberus. He wasn’t joking about shooting her.

“Whoah, make up your mind, Mr. Valentine!” Elena said.

“It’s alright, Elena,” Tseng said, before he turned his attention back at Vincent who lowered down his gun “What do you want to know?”


	66. Back From the Dead

Jocasta was on her way to the university when her phone rang. It buzzed in her bag and she stopped walking to check on it. The people who would usually call her were Sephiroth, Hester, Cid, Barret, Shera. Tifa and Cloud were a little bit harder to reach since Jocasta wasn’t putting any effort _at all_ to stay in contact.

She flipped her phone open and she was surprised when she saw Tifa’s number on the screen. Jocasta looked at the time. She had a few minutes time before the class. She pressed the phone by her ear after she answered the call.

“Joe! Marlene… he took her… please… I didn’t know who else to call,”

Tifa’s voice came breathless and exhausted. It sounded as if she was physically hurt and it made Jocasta tense up.

“Tifa? Where are you now?”

“Aerith’s church… Sector… Five… Midgar,”

“I’m on my way,” Jocasta ended the call and she approached the street.

Her eyes searched for a cab to get her there. She never got herself a car because she knew she was drunk almost all the time, and owning a car would probably be a bad idea. But before she had the chance to stop one that came her way, another car stopped right in front of her and the window of the passenger’s seat rolled down revealing the driver.

“Hop in, Doc,” It was Reno. He had that cocky little smile on his lips and his red hair fell messily on his face. He was the one driving while Rude was sitting beside him, wearing those sunglasses even though there was no sun in the sky except maybe from the clouds that covered it.

“How…?” Jocasta tried to ask as she shot them both a confused look. _How in the hell did they know…?_ But maybe it was foolish of her to wonder. The Turks are… the _Turks. They know everything._

“We contacted the university. You’re clear for today,” Rude informed her.

Jocasta took a moment to process the information “Right,”

“You gonna get in or walk your way to Midgar?” Reno asked sarcastically.

He had a pretty good point. Jocasta hurried into the car and settled on the back seats, resting her bag beside her. Reno started driving messily in the streets, receiving a couple of _beeps_ and people cursing at him and giving him _the finger._ No wonder they did with the way that he drove. Rude was trying to let him know that he was being _dangerous_ but Reno remained _alarmingly_ calm.

“You guys taking me to Midgar’s Sector 5 slums, right?” she had to make sure.

“Ya, Doc. You look good!” Reno commented looking back at her through the mirror and giving her a wink.

“Uh… thanks?” Jocasta didn’t know if she should feel flattered or uncomfortable. She cleared her throat. _Better change the subject._ “How’s the President?”

“President Shinra has had quite a progress with his Geostigma,” Rude answered as his hand slipped up his tie, tightening the knot of the silky fabric.

Jocasta chuckled “Glad to know,”

“Did you have something to do about it, Doc?” Reno asked.

“Maybe yes, maybe no,” Jocasta answered playfully. Did she actually feel cheered up for once? Strange feeling. She hadn’t smiled to somebody for a while.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Alright, Mr. Wallace, try moving the index finger now,”

Hester’s voice came and Barret tried his best to twitch the muscles on the way that he used to when he had fingers on his left hand. The metallic hand didn’t move at first and he tried a little bit harder.

“Yo, Hest, you sure this gonna work?” Barret asked.

He was sitting on a bench in the lab of Mideel’s Hospital. Hester was no further away. Her fingers tapped on the keyboard of a laptop that she had settled on the same counter that Barret had spread his hand on. She was a Biotechnologist, and Barret had taken the liberty of asking to make him an arm that looked more humane than a gun. He wanted to able to hold his little daughter’s hand with it, but still be able fight.

“Let me load a few more drives, will you?” Hester said before she turned her attention back on the laptop and she grabbed a few wires plugging them on the arm. She pressed the enter button and waited till they were loaded. She crossed her hands against her chest and she let her back rest on her chair. “So, how’s your search for alternative sources of power going?”

“Ha! I found the biggest damn oil field you’ve ever seen! Goddammit, Hest, I couldn’t believe no one had ever thought of oil before!” Barret said with a wide smile as he took off his sunglasses that he always seemed to wear, and he placed them on the counter.

“Shinra never even considered using oil as an energy source. Greedy bastards were making good enough money to consider doing anything else,” Hester said as she took out the pen from the pocket of her lab coat and she scribbled something down on a notebook.

“Ya said it, Hest. But damn, if ya fix ma arm, I’mma be forever grateful,” Barret said honestly.

“Don’t thank me till it works,” Hester said as she typed a few more stuff on her keyboard.

“Ya know what? You’re remind me of yo momma, Hest. How’s Joe doing, by the way? Tifa says she barely picks up the phone,” Barret said “Another Cloud in the team she is,”

“Sephiroth saw her yesterday…” Hester sighed “…she’s like shit as always,”

“Damn. Well, let her be, she’ll get through it. I was no better when Myrna died, I tell ya,” Barret admitted.

“Marlene’s mother?” Hester asked.

“Ah no. Marlene was my best friend’s daughter. After he died and Corel was destroyed, I took Marlene and raised her as my own. Well, I haven’t been there for her a lot but…” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly “…sometimes, when parents can’t be there, doesn’t mean they don’t love their kid, ya know?” 

Hester took a moment to process that. Maybe he was right. She knew that it wasn’t Jocasta’s fault that she was left unprotected in the hands of the madman. It wasn’t Jocasta’s fault that her life was miserable back in the day. It was Jocasta who brought Sephiroth back to her and she knew she shouldn’t be mad at her. But she couldn’t help it. Hester had always been so alone. Hojo would make her do things, and study subjects that she never wanted to study. She never wanted to become a Biotechnologist in the first place. It was that old man who had forced everything on her and she was left alone. With no one to object to him. To stop him from turning her into another one of his pawns.

Then she heard the familiar beeping sound coming from her laptop, indicating that it was done loading the drives on Barret’s new artificial arm. “Alright, now I think you’re all set up,” Hester said as she unplugged the wires off the limb and she turned her attention at him “Now try again,”

And this time, the limb responded to the commands of the muscles. It looked like she had made it. The fingers were moving and Barret let out a laugh and he jumped on his feet. He grabbed his arms around Hester and lifted her up. Hester let out a yelp of surprise.

“You magnificent science bitch! You fuckin’ did it!” Barret cried out before he let her back down. Hester laughed, before she turned her attention back on the arm.

Hester spent the next half an hour explaining the weaponry systems she had also loaded on that arm. Barret thanked her almost _a million_ times. He handed her 6 thousand gil _which weren’t enough for the work that she’d done_ but it was _okay,_ and then he was on his way back to the Highwind. Cid was on board his ship and he was going to take them back to Edge to find Cloud and Tifa. Barret wanted to see Marlene and Cid with Shera did not miss their chance to tag along.

Hester returned back to their apartment after another tiring day of researching on Geostigma in the labs of the Hospital. That thing was killing thousands every single day. It wasn’t that much in the beginning but _now_ things were getting worse, and worse. Maybe using her mother’s steps on using JENOVA’s genome to destroy JENOVA cells, it was going to work. But the problem was that this wasn’t her field. Hester was a Biotechnologist. She had no idea about genomes and deceases. It just _wasn’t her field._ Jocasta was a Cardiologist. She had spent her entire life opening up people’s chests, and dealing with deceases. She had perfected her knowledge on Genetics as well. And that was because of her _long-gone fiancé_ who too was a Geneticist.

Sephiroth hadn’t returned home yet. He’d told her all about the Remnants. Unfortunate bodies that carried JENOVA cells and were used by the alien as puppets. Their only purpose to bring JENOVA’s pieces back together and have her _reborn._ It sounded ridiculous at first, but then, the longer she thought about it, the lesser ridiculous it got. Maybe they were indeed trying to bring back the alien.

And if that happened… Hester shivered and she shook her head trying to shake the thought away. She just got into the kitchen and started cooking. It would make sense that Sephiroth would hungry once he’d get back, and Hester never really agreed with ordering food from the local stores. She always thought it was best to know what their dinner had in it.

Living with Sephiroth wasn’t something new for neither of them. He’d go to deliveries, study the maps, mark new routes, while she’d go back to the Hospital and aid on the research for a cure for Geostigma. Those two years that they’d spent together were the best years of her life, and at some point, she knew he felt the same. He’d spent his entire life fighting wars that weren’t his. He was finally _free_ to taste what a normal life could be like. A normal life that he shared with someone.

She had just finished cooking by the time she heard somebody opening the door of the apartment and walking in. She recognized the footsteps and a smile caught her lips as she felt hands slithering around her waist, pressing her back against his chest. A hand moved her hair settling them on the one side of her shoulder and soft lips found her nape. Hester giggled as she let down the spoon that she was using to mix the tomato sauce and she turned around so that her body faced his.

She looked up at him. Crimson-brown eyes stared down at her a smile curled over the corners of his perfect, wet lips. It wasn’t the smile that he’d pull on when JENOVA cells used him. _No_ that was JENOVA’s smile. But this one, this one was Sephiroth’s. He was _himself_ more than he’d ever been.

His arms were tight around her as he pressed their bodies together, and her hands slipped over his face, cupping his cheeks. She gave him a smile. Her hazel eyes stared up at his and her thumb stroked his cheek.

“How was your day?”

“It just got better,” he leaned, catching her lips between his. She let out a small hum when his hand slipped up her cheek. Long fingers spread over her cheek and down her neck to keep her head in place as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. She gave him a sweet swirl, making him groan slightly. Her fingers found his hair, pushing him further down to her and he complied more than willingly.

Hester was the one to cut the kiss when the realization hit her “I’m gonna burn the dinner,” her eyes found him wide and alarmed.

He chuckled amusingly as he watched her, hurriedly, checking on the pots that she had on the stove. “What’s for dinner?” he asked as he opened a shelf by the other side of the kitchen, and grabbed a glass to fill it with water.

“Pasta with tomato sauce providing you don’t distract me long enough to burn them,” Hester said with a small laugh.

“…no promises,” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Hester proceeded to close her laptop before she’d retreat to join Sephiroth to bed. But there was something strange about her laptop. Nothing was responding at first and she just thought that it had stuck. It happened frequently. But then the screen went black and the only thing that remained was the cursor fainting and coming back in a steady rhythm.

She settled her laptop on her lap as she sat on the sofa and she waited. She tried to type something, but she couldn’t type anything. She tried turning it off, but it wouldn’t turn off. She tried all the shortcuts that she knew. Nothing worked. Next thing she was going to do was take off the battery, but she never got to that when she saw bright green letters appearing on her screen as if somebody was typing.

> 
>           _ Hello?_

Hester froze for a moment. She grabbed her glasses from the nearby table and she settled them up her nose, to make sure that she was seeing clearly. And then the cursor moved, revealing more letters while someone typed them.

> 
>           _ You made it, my dear.  
>     > 
>     Our little trick worked.   
>     >   
>     > Feel proud.
>           _
>         

And that’s where felt cold sweat slipping down her forehead. Her fingers trembled as she typed on her laptop’s keyboard.

> 
>           _ Professor Hojo?_

She waited impatiently with her fingers messing with her sleeves. She bit on her lip so hard, she hadn’t noticed she’d made it bleed. She knew that the only possible way for the _madman’s_ plan to work, was with the restoration of the network, but that hadn’t happened yet, and she knew it wouldn’t be happening any time soon. But _he_ was in her laptop and she knew that he was going to _use_ her. He was going to manipulate her with his words. She knew he was capable of convincing her not to destroy that laptop. She knew that destroying it, wasn’t going to stop him. He was _everywhere._

> 
>           _ Is this how you greet your father,  
>     > 
>     my dear?
>           _
>         

“No, no, no, no, no…” Hester mumbled as she slammed down the screen of her laptop.

Her worst fears had just been realized. It was Hojo. He was indeed _everywhere._ And it was her fault that he was. She was the one who had uploaded his data fragments, but he had promised. He had promised he’d leave her alone once she did that. _Now_ she knew that she was never going to be alone. Now she knew that he wasn’t dead. He was alive. More than alive. He was in her laptop. He was in _every_ laptop, computer, control panel, radio, phone, whatever device used to have access to the internet. He couldn’t _use_ them because there was no network, but he still had access in them. He was going to haunt her.

Her fingers clenched into fists so hard until her nails dug deep on the skin of her palms. _No._ This couldn’t be happening. This was a nightmare. _No._ She was going to sleep and she’d wake up and none of these would’ve happened.

Hester hurried back to their bedroom and slipped in the covers. Sephiroth must’ve already fallen asleep. At least, she hoped that he had. She wasn’t going to tell him. How could she? How could she ever tell him that the man -who had brought so much pain to him- was alive, and he was alive because of her? How could she ever explain that?

She just settled on her side on the bed and nuzzled in the covers and her pillow. She was scared. _Terrified._ What was going to happen? What was he going to make her do? How much was he going to blackmail her this time? The madman was alive she was frightened and overflown with regret. It was her fault. _No._ This couldn’t be happening. A tear slipped down her cheek and landed on her pillow. Her hand clamped on her mouth trying to muffle herself. She didn’t want to wake Sephiroth. She didn’t want to worry him. She didn’t want to tell him that their _worst nightmare_ was alive because of her. Sephiroth would _hate_ her if he ever knew that.

And then she felt a hand passing around her waist. She wiped the tears away and urged herself to _stop._ She had to calm down. She had to _hide._ Hester shifted her body, till she was facing him. She was so grateful that it was dark, but again, she knew his vision was advanced.

Hester buried her face in his neck and her hands clutched on his shirt. She felt his hands slipping around her and pulling her close. A sob escaped her throat and she shut her eyes trying to hold back the tears. But he had, _of course,_ heard her. There was something wrong going on and he needed to find out.

“You’re trembling-”

“I- it’s nothing. J- just… just hold me,”

_Now_ he felt more worried than ever. His hands tightened around her and he pressed a kiss on top of her head, drawing her scent from her hair. Whatever it was, she obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and he wanted anything but to force her do something she didn’t want to. But whatever -nay, whoever- was the reason that she was _now_ like that, he was going to find out. _Maybe tomorrow._ He’d ask again. But for _now,_ he held her tightly, pressing his cheek on top of her head and closing his eyes.

Hester let out a sigh of relief and she closed her eyes as well. She was safe _there with him._ She was _with him._ That’s all she needed to know.


	67. One Step at a Time

Night had fallen when Jocasta gave herself the liberty of exploring whatever alcohol Tifa had on the shelves of the bar. They had found Cloud and Tifa passed out by Aerith’s church and took them all the way back to Seventh Heaven. Tifa was the wounded one but she had no more than a few scratches and bruises on her body. Stuff that Jocasta dealt with pretty easily.

Cloud had a serious Geostigma case, spread by his left hand. It wasn’t as serious as the cases that she had encountered in the Hospitals and the University. _Sure,_ what the President had was far worse. Nevertheless, Jocasta changed the bandages and once Cloud woke up, she advised him to rest. Reno and Rude were out looking for the children. Marlene and Denzel were nowhere to be found and that worried her. It worried Cloud too, so he joined her to the bar for a drink

Jocasta knew a depressed person when she saw one. She knew that case more than anything. Maybe that was because she was depressed too. But she knew what Cloud had in his mind. He was always so capable of protecting the people that he loved. _Heck,_ the very reason he joined SOLDIER was being able to protect people that he cared about. But _now_ that he had Geostigma, he must’ve been feeling so _helpless._ So _useless._ He wouldn’t be able to protect Denzel and Marlene and maybe that’s why Jocasta thought it was best to send Reno and Rude to find the kids. She had to stay and make sure Cloud and Tifa would wake up.

Aerith’s and Zack’s deaths weren’t helping his condition at all. _Of course,_ he’d blame himself for Aerith’s death. He had promised he’d keep her safe. Jocasta knew the feeling because she had promised she’d keep her safe too. She had made it her life’s purpose to protect the Cetras but she let them die and Jocasta felt it was her fault as well.

But _how many people_ was she supposed to protect? She was nothing but a scientist back then. Her only defense were words and papers. She couldn’t fight, she didn’t know how to defend _herself_ not to mention _anybody else._ She was helpless back then, but she was also helpless _now._ Even after all these years, mastering the arts of combat, she still didn’t get to save Aerith. And maybe that’s why the pink ribbon on her shoulder always felt so _heavy_ that Jocasta tried to convince herself that it wasn’t even there. That she wasn’t even wearing it.

Jocasta looked at Cloud as he chugged down a glass of the same whiskey that she had poured herself. He didn’t care about what he’d drink so long as it burned down his throat, and had a bitter taste to it. She could fix his Geostigma, but she’d have to go back to a lab and work for hours. Hours that she knew they didn’t have. The kids were in danger, and she had to make sure they were safe before she’d try anything else.

“Does Tifa know?” Jocasta asked and at that, he spared her a look.

He looked at his left arm before he focused his attention back on the drink “Probably,”

Jocasta let out a sigh. She knew Tifa cared about him more than she’d ever admit. Tifa and Cloud had always been together ever since the moment she’d known them. Tifa had told her that Cloud had left the house, _just like that_. Jocasta had guessed that he’d have Geostigma. She knew that Cloud had JENOVA cells inside of him and it only made sense that he’d suffer from it too. He was just waiting for _death_ and he was too tired to _fight it._ It didn’t matter anymore. He must’ve felt like he’d lost everything by losing Aerith. She knew the feeling more than she’d ever admit. She’d felt this way when Tedric died. He was her whole world and then he died and it felt like she’d lost _everything._ She felt like that _now_ too. _Now_ that Vincent was gone, but this time, it felt so much worse, and maybe that’s what made her want to fill her glass and chug it down empty again.

But Cloud hadn’t lost _everything._ Tifa was there for him. Marlene and -most of all- Denzel looked up to him as a hero. Cloud should stop _disappointing_ the kids who admired him just like every kid would admire their _father._ Cloud wasn’t in any way related to them, but they did look up to him.

“Cloud…” Jocasta drew his attention “…you need to let go of what you lost, and focus on what you’ve got. Trust me…” she got off her bench and picked up her empty glass “…you’re gonna lose everything if you don’t,”

And she meant it. She did blame herself that Vincent was _gone._ He was no longer _hers_ and _honestly,_ he’d never been. After lying to him, it was her the one who pushed him away. She hated how much it _hurt._ Jocasta let out another heavy sigh as she set off to place hers and Cloud’s empty glasses into the sink. She watched Cloud entering back in the room Tifa was, to check up on her. Maybe it was too early to stop drinking.

But when she picked her glass back up and tried to pour herself a bit more of that whiskey, Reno and Rude entered the bar hurriedly.

“Did you guys find anything?” Jocasta asked leaving the bottle back down on the counter.

“We did,” Rude informed her and Reno grabbed her half-filled glass from her hand and chugged down her whiskey.

“Hey! Reno, what the hell?!” Jocasta protested shooting him a glare.

“Assholes got the kids back in the Forgotten City,” Reno said changing the subject effectively. He grabbed the bottle from the counter and filled the glass with another fair amount of the alcohol chugging it down as if it was water “Are the sleepin’ beauties awake yet?”

“Yeah, you go let them know,” Jocasta said and Reno handed her glass back to her and he and Rude got back upstairs.

When Cloud entered the room, Tifa was still lying unconsciously on Marlene’s bed. They had let that room with two beds for Marlene and Denzel. The little ones shared that room. Or at least, that’s how it used to be even before he’d left. The moment he’d realized he had Geostigma, he knew he had to hide it. He didn’t want to worry Tifa. He didn’t want to worry Marlene and Denzel.

But hiding it got more and more difficult. Especially those nights that he’d have to _puke_ his guts out because of it. Wearing one sleeve was intentional, but _thank Holy,_ Tifa, and the kids had taken it as a new outfit that he’d chosen to wear.

And _now_ the kids were missing, and Tifa was lying unconscious on the bed with bandages that Jocasta had tied around whatever injury required them. It was all his fault. He wasn’t there when it happened while he should be. Leaving home to sink back in his misery and his loneliness, was an act out of pure _selfishness._ He’d left Tifa and Marlene and Denzel back alone and unprotected in times when he knew that danger still lingered on their Planet.

He felt the guilt of _everything_ falling upon his shoulders and he pressed his forehead against the cold glass of the window. The streets were dark and silent outside. It must have been in the latest hours of the morning.

Then he heard shifting on the bed. He turned around seeing Tifa, propping herself up on her elbows.

“Reno and Rude are out looking,” he informed her as he walked across Denzel’s bed.

He could feel Tifa’s gaze following him all the way. He sat at the edge of the soft mattress and propped his elbows on his lap. His attention fell on the floor. His right hand clutched on the left as the pain radiated harshly wherever that thing spread. He didn’t know how long it’s been since the last time he’d seen her. He didn’t know how many months he’d been away. He was waiting for her scold at him and he wouldn’t blame her. It was all _his fault._

“You have Geostigma, don’t you?” Tifa’s voice reached his ears and he didn’t know what to answer. He just nodded. How was he supposed to let her know that he was _dying?_ “You’re gonna give up and die, is that it?” she shifted her body on a sitting position and looked away from him. Her fingers clenched into fists “So it is,” she wasn’t receiving an answer, and the silence was _pretty much a ‘yes’_ to her.

Her words felt like a dagger cutting through his skin. He was _indeed_ giving up. He was indeed so, so tired. He felt all that guilt of Aerith’s and Zack’s death, and _now_ he had Geostigma on both himself and Denzel. It _hurt_ not being able to help him. It hurt not being able to _protect_ Denzel from it. He’d tried so hard. He’d spent so many nights studying Medical Science books and he’d found nothing. He couldn’t stand back and do nothing while people he cared about -Denzel- were dying. He couldn’t care the least about himself if he died _tomorrow,_ or the _day after tomorrow._ But he couldn’t _stand_ to watch Denzel die.

“There’s no cure,” Cloud said.

“Yeah, but… that’s not stopping Denzel, is it?” Tifa said as she turned and looked at him “Don’t run. Let’s fight it together. We can help each other. I know we can!”

It was the only thing she ever wanted. She wanted to help him deal with the guilt and grief and regret. All those things that he was fighting alone, and he _had_ been fighting _alone_ ever since she knew him, and that had to change. She wanted to be there for him, she wanted him to _let her in_ for once, and help him. She _loved him._ She couldn’t lose him. But _no._ She knew that what he felt for Aerith was never going to change. He was never going to let go of her and Tifa had to remind herself of that. She sighed and bent over her head, shutting her eyes painfully.

“I guess that only works for real families,” and they weren’t a family.

They weren’t a family _at all_. They were just a small group of _misfits_ that were in need of shelter and just ended up living together. She couldn’t take care of the children without him. They would ask where he was. How was he doing, _when is he coming back._ They would ask all the time and it let her know that the kids needed him. She _needed_ him there with her, but he was running and she didn’t know what to do to keep him there. She would try _anything._

“Tifa…” the sound of her name coming from him, snapped her eyes open and she looked up at him. He was so pale. There were dark circles around his tired eyes from the nightmares. Nightmares that neither of both could ever escape from. “…I’m not fit to help anyone. Not my family. Not my friends. Nobody,” _Not even myself._

Tifa sighed exasperatedly. _Again_ with the _depressive_ mindset. She didn’t know how else to tell him. It’s been two years. “Dilly-dally, shilly-shally,”

At that, he looked up at her confusedly and she repeated it.

“Dilly-dally, shilly-shally!”

“I think she wants you to move on, man,” Reno’s voice came from behind. He and Rude had been standing there for almost ten minutes before both Tifa and Cloud jumped in their position and turned at the two Turks.

“Did you find them?!” Tifa asked worriedly.

“No, only a witness,” Reno made a step forward “Kadaj’s gang took the kids,”

“Where are they?” Cloud asked.

“They’re at their base now,” Rude said “The Forgotten City,”

Cloud took a moment to think about it. He knew that even if he’d get there, he wouldn’t be able to save them. He was in no shape to fight and Jocasta was right. He needed rest, and it sounded like he wouldn’t be getting that any time soon. If he was to fight the Remnants, he’d lose, he knew it.

“Go,” He said and he hated that he had to say that. Reno and Rude looked at him surprised. They knew he had been living with these kids for two years _now._ How could he not care?

“Stop running!” Tifa cried out “I know! Even if you find the kids you might not be able to help them. Maybe something will happen that can never unhappen and that scares you, doesn’t it? But you need to think about now, really take it in!” Tifa said and he knew she was right. She slammed her hand by the mattress of the bed, angrily. She had all the right to be mad “Look at you! You think you’ve got it so damn hard. Well, you hate being alone, so let people in…”

“I think we should leave them alone,” Rude whispered at Reno and he grabbed his hand ready to shove him out, but Reno resisted.

“What the fuck, no! That’s the good shit! I wanna see!” Reno whispered back at his friend.

Rude shot him a strict look “Reno,” he said warningly

“…Sure, you might not answer the phone, but I don’t see you throwing it away either!” Tifa said.

“You go. The base is all yours,” Reno said before Rude shoved him out of the room and back to the bar where Jocasta was.


	68. Drinking Buddies

Jocasta looked at the glass that used to be hers but Reno had snatched it and drank from it with no second thought. She shrugged and she refilled the same glass and took a sip of her own. She didn’t really care. Geostigma wasn’t infectious like that and any other decease that Reno -doubtfully- carried, her body could handle it. The smell of cigar still lingered on the glass. It reached her senses and she was not surprised that the young Turk smoked. It didn’t bother her, though. It merged well with whiskey.

The Turks returned no long after and loud voices came from upstairs. Jocasta raised an eyebrow and Reno let out a chuckle. “Lovebirds’ are havin’ a fight,” he said.

Jocasta nodded “About time,” she stood behind the bar while Rude and Reno settled on the benches on the other side of the counter, across her. 

She grabbed two more glasses, settling one in front of Rude who nodded and when she turned to settle the other one in front of Reno, she’d realized he’d already grabbed her glass, drinking her whiskey.

“Reno, that’s my-” Jocasta tried to say but her cut her.

“No shit,”

She raised an eyebrow and she filled the glass that she was supposed to give him and kept it as her own. Cloud walked out, heading towards the door hurriedly. Reno and Rude spared him two looks.

“So, you’re going?” Reno asked.

Cloud gave a silent nod as he turned and looked at the three. Jocasta sat straight and she let down her glass. She tried to walk towards him “I’m coming with-” but Reno grabbed her hand keeping her in position.

“No, you stay, we keep you safe,” Reno said.

“President’s orders,” Rude added.

“Fuck the President, the kids are in danger and Cloud’s in no condition to-”

“It’s fine. I can handle it, Jocasta,” Cloud said before he exited the bar with no further words.

Jocasta snapped her hand away from Reno’s grasp and glared at him “I can fight, I don’t need any protection,”

“Whoah, relax, babe. You forget you’re important,” Reno said with a cocky smile, raising his hands in surrender.

Jocasta groaned irritatingly and she pointed a finger at the Turk who was effectively getting on her nerves “First of, don’t call me ‘babe’, and second, when the hell did I get important?!”

“You’re the only one who knows how to cure Geostigma, Professor Ernchester,” Rude answered.

Jocasta chuckled as she took a sip from her new glass “It’s no biggie,”

“Yeah, _no biggie_ , the best of Shinra’s scientists been workin’ on that crap for two fuckin’ years, and it took you- what? Ten minutes?” Reno raised an eyebrow. His hands reached for his pack of cigarettes that were settled somewhere on his outfit.

“I’ve been researching on Geostigma two years too, you know,” Jocasta grinned.

Reno placed a cigarette between his lips and his hands searched for his lighter. He let out a curse, not finding it, and Jocasta shook her head. Her hands reached for the drawers of Tifa’s bar and she spotted a lighter. She pulled it out and switched it on. Reno let out a chuckle as he leaned close, bringing the cigarette close to the flame.

“I- uhh… I’m gonna… go… check up on… Tifa,” Rude said awkwardly as he cleared his throat and left the bar.

Reno chuckled knowingly and Jocasta gave Rude a weird look while he vanished upstairs. “Why would he-?” Jocasta tried to ask but Reno cut her.

“Rude’s been havin’ the hots for Tifa ever since the fall of Sector Seven Plate,” Reno said puffing out his cigarette.

“Oh right…” Jocasta had heard the story from Barret. She turned and rested her elbows on the counter, facing Reno “…your company destroyed her home twice. _So romantic,_ ” she said sarcastically.

Reno groaned “Girl’s been chasin’ Strife ever since they were five. Guy’s freakin’ oblivious. Rude’s so much fuckin’ better than Cloud,”

Jocasta sighed “I hate to admit, but you got a point,”

And then he pulled on that cocky smile that would normally make her want to punch him, but this time it _was just… it just suits him_ too well. The yellow light of the bar reflected on his green eyes as they persistently stared at her while he sipped on his whiskey and puffed out his cigarette. Jocasta had smoked maybe once _or twice_ but never enough to let it become an addiction.

Reno hadn’t changed much from what he was two years ago. Except _now_ he was _maybe a bit less_ of an asshole than he was back then, and maybe - _thank goodness_ \- a few more buttons were buttoned up revealing _only half_ of his chest. His scarlet hair was wrapped back, and the rest either flew in the air or just fell messily on his face.

“Enjoying the view?” He asked with a smirk, and only then did she realize she had been staring.

 _What the hell’s wrong with me…_ She chuckled. She had to _play it cool_. She took another sip from her whiskey and she bit her tongue “I’ve seen better,”

“Ah yes, vampy. Well whaddya know, he used to be a Turk too. You two still together?” he puffed out his cigarette.

“Nope,”

“Nice,”

“What?”

“Er- Oh no, too bad,”

Jocasta looked at him tiredly “Please don’t,”

“Don’t what?”

“Flirt!”

“C’mon, babe, every other girl would’ve fallen by now,”

Jocasta laughed amusingly. _Oh dear._ She hadn’t flirted _in a while._ More than thirty years actually. She was as inexperienced to this as a fifteen-year-old. She didn’t really know what to say and what she was supposed to feel. It still felt wrong to _flirt_ even though Vincent _was gone_ and she hadn’t seen him ever since the day he walked out of her room and slammed her door shut. 

“Settle down, kid. I could be your grandma,” she said as she walked around the counter and settled on a bench beside him.

“You don’t look like a grandma to me,” Reno said grinning.

 _Well, physically I still am twenty-six years old._ She reminded herself that he was probably in his thirties but _what the fuck is wrong with you? No._ Reno was a Turk. He worked for the company that had made her life a living hell. Sitting beside him was a bad idea -nay, flirting with him- was even worse! She should probably just finish her whiskey and get _the hell_ out of there while she still could. He wasn’t after anything more than just _fun_ and that was something that people back in her days just _didn’t do._ Thirty-five years ago, just glancing at someone was rude unless that someone was family or a spouse, or a fiancé.

“Besides, ya let go of that cane. Lemme guess, your genius figured something out?” Reno asked.

“Yeah, it kinda did,”

“Man, you must be real good on your field,”

“Uh thanks? I guess,”

“I mean, not as good as I am on my field but-”

Jocasta chuckled “Killing people can be quite difficult,”

“It fuckin’ is, believe it or not, Doc,” Reno scoffed with a sigh and his gaze drifted off over the floor. “The world was nearly obliterated, and we were the obliterators. How in the hell do you atone for that? Can you explain that, Doc?”

“Well…” Jocasta focused her attention on the glass where her fingers were pinned on “…I am no psychologist, but, I guess… the only way to atone is… do something good,”

“That’s easier said than done, Joe,” Reno said and Jocasta was surprisingly _okay_ with calling her that.

But she could say that all the things that Shinra had made him do, were pushing a heavy weight on his shoulders. In the end all he sought for was _peace._ That was basically what they all _sought for. Peace_ of mind. Letting go of the weight of a guilty conscience. She too had a guilty conscience. It was her fault Sephiroth had suffered so much. Not to mention the extinction of the Cetra was also her fault. Her discoveries, used by Hojo, must have brought so much pain to so many people. _How do you atone for that?_

 _Doing something good? Is that the best that you can do?_ She asked herself. It was _indeed_ the best that she could do. Doing something good to make it up to the world that she had wronged, was the only way to balance the scales of _good_ and _bad_ actions, decisions, choices.

“I know how you feel,”

“Pfft- You’re a Doctor. You save people. I’m a Turk. I kill. There’s a difference,” Reno said and finally that smile disappeared and was replaced by a bitter chuckle.

“I haven’t been saving people my entire life, you know…” Jocasta said and he turned and looked at her, waiting for more “…after I… escaped Hojo’s labs, I knew I had to survive _somehow._ I learned killing, Reno…” she drew in a shaky breath.

She remembered the first time she _had_ to kill. The first time was an act that came out of pure _instinct._ She remembered herself breaking down on her knees and staring at her hands, drenched in the blood of her victims. The hands of a _murderer._ It was funny to think of how such a violent act was her only way of _survival._ She had inevitably broken all of the oaths that _made_ her a Doctor.

“I know how hard it can get…” she took a heavy sip from her whiskey and she let it roll down her throat. The alcohol already felt lighter than water “I’m no longer a Doctor, and maybe that’s why… I don’t want to return back to the labs and the Hospitals. I don’t deserve that title,”

Reno _hmph-ed_ “Life can fuck ya up, can’t it?” he said as he emptied his glass and Jocasta chuckled.

“Yup,”

And then his phone buzzed. He swore a few curses under his breath as his hands reached for his back pocket and he picked it out. He flipped it open and he looked at the new message that he had just received.

“Well, gotta go…” Reno said as he stood up and slipped his phone back in his pocket “…we’ll catch up some other time, Doc,”

Jocasta gave him a smile “Sure,”


	69. Help

Once the Turks left, Jocasta walked upstairs to check up on Tifa. She was sitting on the bed with her legs curled over her chest and her back resting against the wooden bed frame. Her face buried in her hands, on top of her knees. Her silky black hair fell on the sides and her body shook. A few sobs reached Jocasta’s ears and she sighed as she approached her.

When Tifa felt Jocasta’s weight pressing on the bed on a spot beside her, she lifted her face off her hands and buried her face back in Jocasta’s shoulder. Jocasta passed a hand around her, soothingly caressing her hair while Tifa wept on her shoulder. Jocasta sighed. She hated watching her friends crying. She made herself a mental note to _whoop Cloud’s ass_ once he’d get back.

“I’m gonna lose him…” Tifa said between sobs. She lifted her head off of Jocasta’s shoulder and she looked up at her “…he’s gonna die… isn’t he?”

Jocasta cupped her face, wiping the wet traces of tears off her cheek and she gave her a reassuring smile “No. Tifa… I figured it out,”

Tifa pulled back, looking up at her in surprise “What?!”

“A cure for Geostigma. Cloud and Denzel are gonna be okay, I promise. I just need to get back to the university’s labs and make a few more of my serums,” Jocasta said.

“Oh my- but how? Does it work?” Tifa asked confusedly. A faint glimpse of hope caught her eyes.

“It does. But it’s complicated,” Jocasta said and she checked on the watch that she had tied around her wrist. It was 4 am. She got up “I need to head back home. Can’t miss another day at the university,” Jocasta walked towards the exit of the room and she gave Tifa one last look “Call me if you guys find the kids,”

Tifa nodded “I will,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Of all the things, he wasn’t expecting to find Cloud in the Forgotten City. But considering the three Remnants -they were called thus, so it seems- had abducted a couple of children, including Marlene and Denzel, it made sense that Cloud would show up sooner or later.

He was beaten down and injured when Vincent jumped in the battlefield and snatched him out of there. None of the three were fast enough to stop him. He vanished in the white glow of the trees, covered in Chaos’s crimson cloak that still lingered by the claws of his left gauntleted hand. Vincent was planning to attack the three men and save as many of the kids as he could, but he wasn’t planning for Cloud to be there and need assistance.

“See? I knew I’d be no help,” Cloud mumbled to himself as he rubbed his left aching hand where his Geostigma spread. “Vincent…” Cloud turned his attention at the gunslinger “…what do you know about this?”

Vincent shook his hand, pushing the cloak away from the sharp claws of his gauntlet. His left hand. The hand of a monster. There was indeed a reason why he was still wearing that gauntlet, never taking it off. It wasn’t something he liked to think about.

He’d taken all the information he needed from the Turks. He’d let them take his motorcycle and ride their way back to their base. _It was alright._ He could walk. They couldn’t. They couldn’t call anybody for help either. They had no phones, no weapons on them. All were scavenged by the three men that held them hostage and tortured them.

“I come here often,” Vincent said as he approached Cloud “I’ve seen what Kadaj’s group is doing,” he grabbed hold of Cloud’s left hand, the one infected with the Geostigma “The stigma. It’s a symptom of alien matter infesting the body. The body tries to eliminate it and overcompensates,” he let go of Cloud and walked forwards. His attention rested on the soil “Inside our body there’s a current, like the Lifestream. That current is what fights off any malevolent intruders,” Vincent explained.

“What do you mean by ‘intruder’?” Cloud asked.

“The Sephiroth Gene. JENOVA’s memetic legacy. Call it what you want,” Vincent answered.

He had to admit, that Geostigma sounded like a case that he’d seen before. On _Lucrecia._ He remembered that day. The day when he learned that Lucrecia was pregnant and she was going to use the child… _their child_ for the JENOVA Project. It was probably the day when his whole world fell apart. He was so furious. It was the kind of anger that he couldn’t control. The woman he _loved_ was _self-destructing_ and he could do nothing but watch. 

_“Dammit, Jocasta! I want the truth!” Vincent cried out. He saw her flinching back and looking at him with wide eyes in terror. He didn’t mean to scare her. He didn’t mean to make her jump in her position, alarmed. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the worry and the fear of losing Lucrecia. He needed to know what was going to happen to her._

_Jocasta sighed and rubbed her forehead briefly before she turned back at him and started explaining. “Considering Hojo proceeds as he previously planned, he’s gonna inject the womb with JENOVA cells. Her immune system is gonna recognize them as a foreign threat and it’s gonna try to fight them off by creating antibodies. It’ll never get to that ‘cause our immune system cannot recognize JENOVA’s genome. Lucrecia’s body is gonna start overcompensating,” Jocasta explained._

_He gritted his teeth. His fingers were tight around the car keys. He was sitting on the driver’s seat and she was sitting beside him. The car was parked outside the Shinra Manor after both of them got kicked out by Lucrecia and Hojo._

_“And what’s that supposed to mean?!” He demanded._

_Jocasta let out another heavy sigh as she shut her eyes for a moment and tried to fumble through her knowledge. She tried to explain it as simply as she could “The immune system will try so hard to fight the foreign cells that it’s gonna end up damaging its own tissue. Which means she’s gonna be experiencing immense pain, especially around the abdominal area…”_

A foreign threat that human organisms couldn’t fight. That was JENOVA. That was what JENOVA had done to Lucrecia as well. _Now_ the entire world was exposed to it and the entire world was dying day by day.

Vincent wondered if Jocasta could fix it. He knew how good she was in her field. It was no wonder that back in the days when society forced women to be no more than housekeepers and maids, Dr. Jocasta Ernchester had built a name for herself that even men wished they had. It was no wonder that President Shinra himself had asked her to participate in the JENOVA Project. He knew she could figure this out. He knew she could _save_ the world. She saved Sephiroth from JENOVA. Maybe she could save Lucrecia from that thing too. But before he had the chance to say anything else, Cloud spoke.

“You’re well informed. Did Jocasta tell you all this?” he asked.

At that Vincent buried his face further behind the collar of Chaos’s cloak and he turned his back at his friend. He hadn’t talked to her ever since the day he’d stormed out of her room and slammed her door shut. How was he supposed to ask her to save Lucrecia, when he’d left her in the worst possible time of her life?

 _No,_ it was her fault that he’d left her in the first place. Even though she looked like she _needed_ him back then more than ever, it broke his heart leaving like that. It broke his heart what she had done. She had lied to him. She had kept him away from the woman that he loved. She’d never told him that Sephiroth was his. She’d never told him that Lucrecia was alive. She’d never told him _anything_ because she was trying to keep him from the things that held a part of himself. _How could she?_

“No,” Vincent shook his head “Tseng and Elena. They were brought here half dead. They must’ve been brutally tortured. I did what I could to save them but…” he sighed. Even though he’d let them take his motorcycle, he couldn’t say for sure if Kadaj’s group hadn’t already attacked them on their way back to Edge “…well, we’ll see,”

“Tortured?”

“They had it coming. They got their hands on JENOVA’s head,” Vincent answered.

“Then when Kadaj says he’s looking for ‘Mother’…”

“Heaven’s dark harbinger. The Calamity. JENOVA,” Vincent said “If they wanted to, they could re-create Sephiroth… the one we fought two years ago…” he hummed knowingly “…or maybe JENOVA itself,”

“Kadaj… what is he?” Cloud asked.

Vincent chuckled bitterly “I’d rather not know,”

And then, something moved across a bunch of bushes that lied no further away. Vincent’s hand reached for Cerberus that lied in its case over his thigh, and Cloud’s hand reached for his sword, grasping it, and getting in his stance.

But what came out of the bushes was no threat. It was Marlene. The little girl ran towards Cloud, crying out his name. Her little hands wrapped around Cloud’s waist and she pressed her chin by his stomach. She was breathless and terrified. Cloud’s hands immediately reached around the little girl. He didn’t know how long it’d been since the last time he saw her.

“Marlene!”

“Cloud! Denzel! A- and Tifa-”

“Tifa is alright,” Cloud reassured her.

“I wanna talk to her!” Marlene said. Her little body was trembling in terror. It made sense that she’d want to talk to Tifa. Tifa had always been more than a mother to her.

Cloud’s hands reached for his pocket where he knew he’d settled the phone. But it wasn’t there. His hand reached for the other pocket, but it wasn’t there either. He must’ve dropped it during his fight with the Remnants. Cloud and Marlene looked at Vincent, who was silently standing no further away.

“May I?” Marlene asked.

Vincent wasn’t really sure what she was asking of him. For all he knew, he didn’t have a phone. But her, asking to talk to Tifa, must’ve meant that the little girl sought for some kind of comfort. All those things that the little girl had just seen, must’ve been too much for her. Vincent’s hand reached for his cloak. He lifted the red fabric up for her to settle beneath. She had done it before. The little girl seemed to enjoy the warmth of that cloak.

“You don’t have a phone?!” Marlene asked incredulously.

 _Oh._ Maybe she was indeed asking for a phone and not the solace of a _demon’s cloak._ _It made more sense_ but he still wouldn’t mind having her little fingers clutching on his pants by his thighs, while she’d hide beneath the cloak and behind his leg.

“Vincent, will you take Marlene to Tifa? I need to go find Rufus and get a few answers,” Cloud said as he settled his hands by the little girl’s shoulders.

“I can’t do that,” Vincent said. He would _if he had a motorcycle_ which he didn’t have at the moment and he doubted Marlene would appreciate him carrying her on his shoulders all the way back to Edge.

“But I-” Cloud tried to say but Marlene cut him.

She turned and looked at him “Forget it, Cloud! Why don’t you ever pay any attention to us?!” she protested before she hurried beneath Vincent’s cloak.

Vincent had to remind himself that he had a _loaded gun by his thigh._ He tensed up when Marlene clutched on his thigh and hid behind his leg and beneath his cloak. His hand reached for her little back. _Thank Holy,_ she came by the right side, where his right arm wasn’t wearing a dangerous, sharp-clawed gauntlet. But he still had to admit to himself, that even though he was terrified of hurting her in some way, he still liked having Marlene beneath his cloak. It was strange how she wasn’t afraid of him like any other kid was while he’d happen to pass through the streets of a town.

“Marlene, please give me some time. There’s a battle to be fought. But it’s not as simple as just fighting it, understand?” Cloud tried to explain.

“No! No, I don’t!” Marlene protested beneath Vincent’s cloak.

Vincent fought the urge to roll his eyes. He knew Marlene was smart and had already gone through a lot, but explaining her _about what battles should be fought and what battles shouldn’t be_ wasn’t going to change the fact that she needed Cloud as much as Denzel and Tifa needed him _there._ Just _be there._ If Vincent ever knew that Lucrecia was pregnant on his own child, he’d _never_ leave their side. It was _frustrating_ to think that Cloud already had people who _loved_ him and he was turning his back to them _selfishly_ because of something that happened _two years ago._

“Cloud, you sure this is about fighting?”

He noticed Cloud hesitating to speak as he took his moment to think about it. He let out a heavy sigh “Are sins… ever forgiven?”

“I’ve never tried,” Vincent said. Indeed, he hadn’t tried. He just locked himself in a coffin for thirty years hoping that he’d die. Hoping that _maybe_ locked in there, would be a way to _atone._ Atone for the sins that deep down he felt like he hadn’t committed. But the weight of his past was still heavy over his shoulders. He was the reason he lost Lucrecia. The woman he loved. The woman that _carried his child_ and he didn’t even know it, and that was because of _her. Jocasta._

“Marlene… Let’s go,” Cloud said and Marlene pushed away the cloak and hurried towards him grabbing his hand “Well, I’m gonna try,”


	70. Attack on Edge Pt.1

She didn’t know what time it was when she heard her phone ringing. It must’ve been at the earliest hours of the morning. There wasn’t any light coming from the windows of their room and there was still that cool morning breeze bypassing the curtains of their opened window.

Hester heard a groan coming from Sephiroth who shifted on the bed beside her. Her hand reached for her bedside table where her phone rang and buzzed loudly. She grabbed the phone and flipped it open seeing Cid’s name on the screen. She groaned and answered the call.

“Cid, what the hell?! It’s…” she pulled the phone back to look at the hour. The screen’s ruthless light hit her sensitive-from-sleep eyes as she looked at the time and then she pressed it back against her ear “…5 am for fuck’s sake-”

_“We leavin’ for Edge in about an hour. Thought ya kids might wanna see yo momma,”_

Hester groaned and buried her face in her pillow “No,” the sound came out muffled.

_“Did ya ask Sephy or you’re being a hardass bitch?”_

She groaned irritatingly. _Damn you, Cid._ She turned and looked at Sephiroth who stared at her questionably. She sighed “Cid’s offering a ride back to Edge. We could check up on mom,”

At that, Sephiroth nodded “Good idea,”

“Alright, pick us up in about an hour, will you?”

_“Aye!”_

Hester flipped the phone closed and she placed it back on her bedside table. She turned and looked at Sephiroth who had closed his eyes, savouring every little bit of the sleep that he had just interrupted. The faint, blue morning light came from the window, painting his hair in a pale brown. His thick eyelids rested on top of each other and his breathing got rhythmical once again.

He looked so peaceful. His bangs fell messily on his face but they didn’t seem to bother him. His hand was fitted beneath his pillow and his cheek rested on top. Sephiroth never wore a shirt when he’d go to sleep. Half of his chest was covered beneath the light green bed covers. Some of his scars were visible on his chest and she didn’t care the least.

She shifted her body close to him. He noticed her immediately, and his hands slipped around her almost automatically. He felt her fingers tracing over the bulging veins of the muscles of his arm. His own fingers sneaked beneath her shirt, touching warmly the small of her back. He felt the tip of her nose barely brushing over his and he was unable to fight a smile that curled over his lips. He felt her small rhythmical breaths hitting his chin.

He pressed a kiss on top of her forehead and she let out a small hum that made his heart flutter. Her one hand pressed against his chest, the other around his shoulders. Her fingers buried in his hair and he pressed his lips on top of her head, drawing in her scent.

He felt so content. A feeling that he’d never experienced so intensely before. He’d spent thirty years as an alien being’s _puppet_ doing stuff against his will and _now… Now_ he was there, with the woman that he loved for so long, and he was there because he _wanted_ to. It wasn’t because someone else was forcing him. He had no manipulative whispers in his mind, telling him what to do. Telling him to _kill,_ to _torture,_ to _burn,_ to _destroy._

He had taken the chance to _live_ like every person should. _Happy._ She made him _happy_ and he knew it was so much more than what he deserved, after everything he’d done. If anything -or, _anyone_ \- ever harmed her, he was going to do _everything_ to make them pay. He still remembered her crying the night before. He had noted to himself to ask again, but _maybe not yet._ They’d have to wake up first and get dressed. But _maybe not yet_ either. He’d never get enough of that moment.

It was just a cuddle, yet it felt like it was _so much more_. He thought he’d never have _this_. He wanted to have _this_ with _her_ for so long, but back then they were hiding from the eyes of the _world_ in Shinra HQ, and she was _resisting_ and he never knew why. But it didn’t matter anymore. She was the one who made the step after he was brought back. That was enough proof that she _wanted him as much as he wanted her._ His hands tightened around her. She was _his._ She _had always been._

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that. He was sure that she had fallen asleep. She inhaled and exhaled rhythmically against his neck and her fingers had loosened their grasp on him. Sephiroth pulled back to look at her. She had that peacefulness on the muscles of her face as she slept. Her hair fell messily on her face and her shoulders, long enough to reach her back. He almost hated to wake her up.

He dragged wet, sloppy kisses from her forehead, all the way down that perfect nose. Her breathing hitched halfway her throat, letting him know that she was slowly stirring up. His lips found her eyelids, then her cheeks and he stopped by her lips. She giggled and her eyes finally met his.

“I slept, didn’t I?”

“You’re beautiful when you do,”

Even in the faint light of the morning, he could still see that blush creeping across her cheeks as she stared up at him. She smiled and bit her lip. Her fingers found his cheek. Her soft thumb stroked his skin and then slipped over those perfect lips of his. He was so _perfect_ in his _imperfection._ She couldn’t help but lean in and drag kisses down his chin until she reached his neck. Tasting his salty skin as she pulled on it and trapped it between her lips. She felt his fingers tightening in her hair, almost clenching into fists, as she slipped her tongue over the skin of his neck till she reached his chest.

Her fingers were already on his torso, tracing over every single bulging muscle of his waist and his back. Her fingers were cold, it made him shiver, but his hand grabbed hers by the wrist, stopping it from sneaking beneath his pants. She stopped pressing kisses and tiny nips on his chest, and she looked up at him with wet lips and needy, dilated pupils. His fingers tightened around her wrist and she let out an intentional gasp that she knew it would drive him _insane._

He caught her wet, lower lip between his teeth, and his fingers tightened around her hair, pulling her head back up to look at him. “If you want to make it to Edge today, I suggest you stop,”

She giggled “Are you sure you _want me_ to stop?” She could feel his hard bulge against her thighs.

“I’m sure I want _you_ to be able to walk today,”

She took a second to think about it. _Oh,_ she knew all too well what he was talking about “… Fair point,” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta was supervising the post-graduate degree students that she had gathered in the research for Geostigma. They were doing just fine, merging chemicals, and testing the results exactly as she had instructed them to. Genetics students were constructing the DNA strands that were to grow into genetically engineered bacteria, and Biochemistry students were extracting the essence from the bacteria.

It all looked fine and well. They would be having a couple of serums ready by nightfall. Jocasta had asked that they are transmitted to people in the Hospitals of Edge that had the most serious cases of Geostigma. People who didn’t have serious cases of Geostigma, they could wait for at least a couple of days. Constructing those serums took time. Time that some of those people didn’t have.

The sky was cloudy, but the lights of the lab were bright and switched on since there was no sun outside to bring any light from the windows. A couple of students and lab techs walked all around the lab and Jocasta merely observed them and walked them through the steps. They were all working determinedly, mumbling things to each other, and skilfully handling the tools of the lab.

Jocasta couldn’t help that smile that formed on her lips. _Once upon a time,_ she used to be one of them. She too used to be a student who learned incredible things by the side of an experienced teacher. So many people had doubted her back then. It was so uncommon and _unfit_ for a woman to get herself a place amongst the society’s scientists. A society that forced women back then to stay in their houses and raise their children. She had tried her best to be _better._ All that studying had stolen so many nights from her sleep. Nights that colleagues of hers spent drinking and having senseless fun in secret clubs that weren’t allowed on the spotlight back in the day.

She turned her attention at the students who were asking for further instructions and gave them all the help that they needed. Everything seemed _fine_ and good. Almost _too good_. Jocasta almost waited for something to go wrong.

She didn’t have to wait too long. Her attention fell on the window and her eyes widened. Some students happened to look out the window as well and they started screaming in terror.

A summon wrought havoc on Edge. A Bahamut. _When did you show up?!_ Jocasta turned at the panicked students who had let go of the tools and were running chaotically out of the room and back in the endless corridors of the Life Sciences Building.

“Fuck,” She cursed as she let go of whatever tools she had been holding and she hurried out of the room. The building was a chaos of panicked students talking to each other, and shouting. A couple of Professors reached Jocasta.

“Ernchester! What the hell is going on?!”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, Karl! I didn’t summon a freakin’ Bahamut!” Jocasta cried out at the man in the lab coat and the nerdy glasses.

“Well, then who did?!”

“Why in the hell would you think that I did it?!”

“You’re the only one who knows how to use summons here!”

“Shut the fuck up, Karen, no one asked you!” Karl shouted at the other woman fellow Professor and Jocasta rolled her eyes and walked away.

 _Idiots._ She walked down the stairs, with her lab coat and her blue gloves on her hands. A couple of students moved around the stairs, bumping onto each other and shouting in panic.

Jocasta finally reached the ground floor and she looked at the chaos of people running around the streets. Her apartment wasn’t too far away from the university. _Thank Holy_ that she had healed her stomach and she could run. She hadn’t run like that for a while, but still, when she reached the familiar building, she wasn’t as breathless as she thought she’d be.

When Jocasta entered her apartment, she tossed her lab-coat and those blue plastic gloves by her couch, and she walked hastily into her bedroom. She knelt before her bed and her hands drew out a chest that laid beneath. She sighed when she opened it and finally beheld at her weapons. Her Sais, her bow and her quiver, filled with bloodstained arrows. After all those injuries, she never thought that she’d get to use these ever again. But she had _made it._ She had _fixed_ herself.

And then her hands reached for the clothes beneath. The grey long-sleeved shirt, and the black leather pants. The dark grey cloak that she used to wear above. And then, those pitch-black leather boots. Her daggers laid on the side, almost rusty. She hadn’t used these in two years. She hadn’t engaged in any kind of fight for two years. She couldn’t in the condition that she was. But _now_ she was _okay._ She remembered herself wearing these on her journeys. Journeys that lasted thirty years _on her own_. _Thirty years of loneliness._ She should be embracing _loneliness_ by _now._ She should be taking for granted the fact that _she was alone._ But she had made it well on her own. _She had._ She could do that again. She could find _herself_ again. _She could._ She had to convince herself that _she could._

She dressed up as quickly as she could. She fitted her daggers on her boots and beneath her sleeves. And then there was the belt. The belt with her Sais’ cases. She fitted them in there. They had three slots for Materias each. Materias that she had stored in that very chest and she hadn’t used ever since the fight in that cave. The Northern Crater. She hadn’t worn these clothes ever since. The shirt was sliced in half, and taking off the stains of her own blood was tricky, but she had managed it. She had managed to sew the shirt back together and there it was, the same as it was two years ago.

She put on her cloak and then her quiver with her arrows. And then it was the bow, passing it around her shoulder. She looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn’t changed. She hadn’t changed _at all._ She was _tough_ back then, she could be _tough_ again. The world needed her to be. She never realized she’d missed _fighting._

The final touch was that pink bow. A bow that every member of their team _should_ wear to honour Aerith’s memory. In the end, they all fought for this world because _Aerith_ had _given her life for it._ They’d be _damned_ if they ever let Aerith’s death be for nothing.

Jocasta’s fingers clenched around the pink bow “Aerith…” she felt tears gathering in her eyes as she tied it hard around her wrist “…this is for you,” and even though she knew Aerith was _gone,_ she knew, she could hear her. And maybe, wherever Aerith was _now,_ she was smiling because she had heard her.

_That’d be good to know._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

When Jocasta reached the Monument, she hurried over the kids that stood in a circle around it. There was a Bahamut right above their heads and they weren’t even bulging. Something was wrong with those kids, she was sure of it. She spotted Reno and Rude already being there. Rude grabbed two kids by his sides and Reno grabbed his hands around a little boy and tried to make him move, but he wouldn’t. Reno groaned and before he even knew it, the kid resisted by dipping his fingers in his nostrils.

He would’ve cursed if it wasn’t a bunch of kids present. But maybe the entire monument being destroyed by a blast thrown by the Bahamut was much more alarming than the kid’s fingers inside his nostrils.

He was more than relieved to see Jocasta being there. “Doc! Help me the fuck out, will ya?!”

Jocasta hurried and she picked the kid up by her shoulder. She received a surprised look from Reno. He wasn’t expecting her to be able to pick up a kid so easily. _And also,_ that schism of her shirt by her cleavage looked _good._

_Nice._

“What the hell are you staring at?! We gotta move!” Jocasta cried out alarmingly as she handed him the boy hastily. The weight of the kid made his back bend back a little, but he snapped out of it, and he started running with Jocasta following closely behind with another kid in her arms.

“Is it after us?!” Reno cried out as the two of them finally reached Rude who was holding two kids by his hands and he was running with their added weight pretty easily.

“I’m not looking!” Rude said.

“Dammit, Reno, I don’t wanna know!” Jocasta shouted as the three of them practically ran for their lives.

The explosion that came from behind, cast them a few meters away, and they all landed unceremoniously on the hard pavement with a couple of debris heading their way. Jocasta winced as her back landed harshly on the hard ground. _Fuck. I’m so rusty._ It wasn’t a pain that should knock a wince and a gasp out of her.

A large block of cement and metal came flying towards Reno who had also landed supinely on the ground. Jocasta’s eyes widened for a moment and she urged herself to crawl hastily towards him to push him out of the way.

She landed on top of him and rolled them both out of the way. The debris landed and crashed beside them. It would’ve crashed him if she hadn’t pushed him. But in a blink of an eye, he rolled on top of her. His hands propped him up, keeping him from crashing her, and his knees planted on the sides around her waist, trapping her beneath him.

“Whatchu doin’, babe?” Reno asked with a cocky smirk forming over his lips.

She smacked his exposed chest and shot him a glare “Saving your goddamn life, you dumbass. Now get off of me,”

“Not until you give me a kiss and admit I’m the hottest guy you’ve ever seen,” Reno said teasingly.

Jocasta let out an exasperated sigh. The world was falling apart around them and all that Reno cared about was mending his _broken ego._ It was both _infuriating_ and hilarious at the same time. She didn’t know if she should pull on that _ridiculous_ _rat_ _tail_ of his hair, and push him off of her beating his ass in the process, or just… _No, you can’t be possibly thinking to-_

But he was looking down at her with those _magnificent_ green eyes and that scarlet hair that some of them also tickled her cheeks. Not to mention half of his chest that was still exposed. She groaned.

“You’re the… hottest guy… I’ve ever… seen?” she didn’t know why it was so hard to say it, that forcing it out made it sound like a question. _This is ridiculous what the hell am I-_

“No, say it like you mean it,” He insisted childishly and Jocasta rolled her eyes.

“Alright, that’s it,” Her hand reached for his hair, pulling back on that rat tail and making him wince and pull away from her.

“Ouch! Ouch! Fuckin’ hell! Jeez! Alright!” Reno cursed as he released her and he lent a hand over to help her stand up.

She laughed amusingly. _Strange._ She hadn’t laughed for _a while._ His reaction to pulling his hair was just so _hilarious._ She grabbed his hand and he pulled her back up on her feet quite easily. But her attention fell on Tifa and Denzel who were standing in the midst of all this chaos.

“Uh, Reno… we have a problem,” Rude’s voice came from behind and both Reno and Jocasta looked at the other two silver-haired men that rushed towards them.

“The Remnants?” Jocasta asked and Reno nodded.

“You go help Tifa. We got this,” Rude said as he fixed his tie and dusted his jacket.

“You sure?” Jocasta asked and Reno whipped out his rod.

“Yah! No worries, Joe. In the meantime, try not to get yourself killed,” Reno gave her a smile.

“You too,” Jocasta said and she wasn’t even sure if she had said that out loud or if she had just _thought_ it. She just knew she was on her way, hurrying over Tifa and Denzel, and maybe a faint, surprised _“Huh?!”_ came from Reno. It made her scold at herself.

_What the hell’s wrong with you?!_


	71. Attack on Edge Pt. 2

Barret’s robotic arm reached for Denzel’s shoulder. He pressed the buttons that Hester had instructed him and the weaponry systems of the robotic arm were switched on. Barret smirked and he turned his advanced gun towards the Bahamut that roared wildly in their direction. He shot at it a powerful green blast and he made it fall back.

“You look after, momma!” Barret said at Denzel who fended away and grabbed hold on Tifa. Barret shot a few more bullets at the beast before he turned at Tifa “Marlene better be safe, huh?” and then he hurried over the beast that started shrieking after a Shuriken crashed on its face and flew back to its owner.

Yuffie -finally eighteen years old- slipped down a rope that came from an airship above them. Her hand reached up and received her Shuriken that came her way. Her hand clamped on her mouth, trying not to puke. Flying all the way from Wutai to Edge -not to mention that clumsy landing- wasn’t doing anything to ease her sensitive stomach. She rolled the Shuriken skilfully between her fingers as she took a look at the Bahamut. She recognized it immediately and she groaned irritatingly. She turned at Tifa.

“Alright, who’s been touching my Materia?!”

“The bad guys, naturally,” Tifa said, and she couldn’t keep back that smile that had started forming on her lips. Yuffie let out a cry of irritation before joining Barret. It felt so good seeing all of the team again.

Red came running towards Barret, with Cait Sith on his back. He launched on top of the Bahamut’s face and Cait Sith started shouting frightened “We cannot handle this!” 

The moment he stepped foot on the streets of Edge, there were people running around in panic, hastily, bumping onto each other. There was chaos in the streets. Vincent followed it back to the Meteorfall Monument that rested no further away from Seventh Heaven. And that was where he saw what caused all that commotion. A Bahamut. He had no doubt that the Remnants had something to do about it.

The children were standing in a circle. Their eyes, a piercing cat-green. It was the children that he was planning to save back in the Forgotten City. He’d left the Forgotten City, to buy a phone from the closest town that he knew of. _Edge_. He had walked all the way. It wasn’t that far. Distances weren’t doing much to tire him. He had endured so much worse.

Then the beast landed on the Monument and started digging. It was searching for something. It was simply obeying the orders of its Master, one of the Remnants. Kadaj perhaps. The other two were engaged in a fight with the other two Turks. They were doing a pretty good job to keep them both busy.

And then he heard the cry of a child. He recognized it, even though it’s been a while. Vincent turned around, slipping his gaze from all the chaos that took place around him, and he spotted the young boy shouting frightened at the Bahamut. Tifa's hands were on his shoulders.

Vincent’s hand immediately reached for Death Penalty that rested in its case by his left thigh. But then he felt the shadow of something in the air. He recognized the familiar tireless buzzing of an airship’s engine. He’d learned the sound too well back in those months that they spent traveling the world on the Highwind.

Vincent looked up and saw a similar-looking airship, but far more advanced. He felt a pat on his shoulder and he turned around. He fought a smile that reached his lips once Cid’s hand reached for the finished cigar that he had trapped between lips. He threw it on the pavement and stepped on it with his boot.

“Good to see ya, Vinnie! It’d be nice if ya called once or twice a year, ya know,” Cid said as he walked towards Tifa.

Vincent frowned. _I have no phone._

“She’s a beaut! My Shera! The latest model!” Cid pointed upwards at the airship that was standing above them in the air. His hand reached back for his spear “I’ll give you the grand tour afterward!” He said at Tifa before he hurried towards the Bahamut, joining the fight with Barret, Red, Yuffie and Cait Sith.

“Where can I buy a phone?” Vincent’s voice came from behind as he walked forwards and Tifa chuckled.

“Who’s he?” Denzel asked.

“They’re our friends,” Tifa said.

Vincent felt his lips quirking up in a smile. He hid his face further behind his collar. It was unbelievable to think that _he had friends._ That there were people who actually considered him _their friend._

His hand reached for a pair of bullets, loading them on Cerberus before he started firing, joining the fight with the others. He didn’t know how much he had missed fighting with them. Almost everybody was there. Barret was crying out, shooting endless bullets at the Bahamut. Cid launched with his spear and Yuffie’s Shuriken flew around in the air. Red launched with his fangs and his sharp nails, with Cait Sith shouting panicked and clutching on his mane.

Then they all paused fighting when the Bahamut fell back and shrieked in pain. A large cut appeared across its entire body and everybody turned to see who had caused it. Sephiroth walked forwards with the fingers of his left hand clutching tightly around the purple stem of the Masamune. He had a smile on his lips while his natural brown hair wavered in the air and his bangs fell at the sides of his face. He was wearing a black leather jacket on top of a grey shirt and black trousers.

Barret, Cid, and Yuffie cheered in excitement. The Bahamut tried to stand up again, but an arrow came flying its way. The pointy side of the arrow stabbed right into its eye and it shrieked in pain and fell back, crashing on top of a building. Everybody turned at the woman who had shot the arrow. Jocasta grabbed another arrow from her back and she passed it at her bow shooting it at the summons that came her way. They looked like _dogs_. She had no idea what summons they were.

But she shot three arrows at the three of them that came her way and she grabbed her dagger. Another one of these attacked her from behind. She rolled out of the way, stabbing the dagger on its head and making it disappear into dust that the wind carried away. She used the same dagger to cut through the other’s throat. She noticed two more coming. She grabbed her Sais and stabbed them both with a grunt.

Vincent found himself biting his tongue as he watched her fight. She stood on her one knee with her hands gripping on her Sais. A perfect fighting stance. She was breathless. Her pitch-black hair fell messily on her face and her shoulders. She must’ve been running. Her own cloak fell back. She got back on her feet and she walked towards him. Or at least, he thought that she was walking towards him, but instead, he realized she’d been walking towards Sephiroth who was standing behind him. He didn’t know why he _expected_ her to come right at him. Or maybe, _he wanted her_ to come at him.

But she didn’t. Sephiroth pulled her into a brief hug “You look good,” he looked down at her surprised that she wasn’t holding a cane and she wasn’t limping. Jocasta chuckled.

“I feel good,” She said, and then she turned at Cid as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Joe! Where the hell have you been?!” Cid cried out with a large smile on his lips as he passed a hand around her shoulders.

“Good to have ya back, Dramaqueen,” Yuffie punched her shoulder a bit harsher and Jocasta struggled to hold back a wince.

But she was feeling so _happy,_ she couldn’t scold at the eighteen-year-old that always seemed to be getting on her nerves. Instead, she smiled at Yuffie and gave the young girl’s shoulder another punch.

“Good to be back,”

“Yo, guys!” Barret’s voice drew everybody’s attention “There are people here. We gotta draw the fight somewhere safe,”

The Bahamut was still trying to stand back on its feet. It used its wings to start flying away. Barret was right. Jocasta pointed at the construction site of a building. There wouldn’t be any workers at this hour and the building wasn’t even halfway ready yet, so it’d be a good spot to fight there.

“There! Let’s drag the fight over that building’s construction site. There are no people working there today,” Jocasta said.

“Good idea,” Sephiroth said as he followed Barret, Yuffie, and Red with Cait Sith, while they rushed towards the building.

“Ya daughter’s here too ya know,” Cid said and Jocasta looked at him surprised.

“Really!?” _Well_ , it made sense that Hester would be there, considering Sephiroth was there too.

“Aye! She’s piloting ma baby with Shera. Ya girl’s a freakin’ genius. She fixed Barret’s goddamn arm,” Cid said and then he groaned when he reminded himself that _they had a Bahamut to fight_ “Let’s kick that asshole’s ass, then we can catch up!” he hurried over the others.

Jocasta tried to follow, but she knew that _he_ was there too. She turned and looked at Vincent, who was standing silently and awkwardly behind her. She couldn’t even express how much she had missed him. He didn’t look well. He seemed like he hadn’t slept in _days._ He hid his face further behind the collar of his cloak and he tried his best to take his eyes off of her. Jocasta didn’t know what she was supposed to tell him and how she was supposed to feel. The only thing she could tell, was that her heart was hammering against her chest and her fingers were messing with her sleeves nervously. She didn’t know if she should feel anger or _regret._ Maybe regret and guilt suited the situation best.

She just shook her head and tried to snap herself out of it. She didn’t want to deal with him _now._ They didn’t really have _anything_ to deal with. She had to go help the others fight. She was in no mood to get into a fight with him. Much less, talk to him at all.

Jocasta hurried over the others and she grabbed her bow and an arrow. She looked at Barret firing endlessly at the Bahamut, urging it to keep following him towards the building that she had pointed out.

It didn’t take long when they reached it. They climbed on top of the metallic skeleton of the building and they started hurting it with whatever they had. Sephiroth, Cid, Jocasta, and Red kept launching at it with their weapons. She used her Sais to create scratches on the thick skin of the beast, though, Jocasta’s Sais and Cid’s spear, were doing not even _half_ of the damage that Sephiroth did with his Masamune.

Barret kept shooting at it with the new hand that he had just started learning how to use. The Bahamut spat out another explosive blue ball of energy towards him. Jocasta hurried towards him and pushed them both out of the way. Barret let out a yelp and then he gave her a smile.

“Thanks, Joe!” He said before he started firing again and Jocasta nodded before jumped on top of the beast again with her Sais in her hands.

She scratched its face and its hand grabbed her and threw her away. Jocasta landed back on the metallic parts of the building. Her hand grabbed on the metal while she hung and she let out a grunt, trying to push her weight up. Sephiroth jumped towards her. He knelt on top of the metallic platform and grabbed her hand, pulling her up with ease.

“Thanks, Seph,” She said breathlessly. He just gave her a smile before he launched back to the Bahamut, stabbing the Masamune deep into its flesh.

She watched Vincent as he moved away from the explosion. He turned at the Bahamut shooting at it with Cerberus. He landed back on the building, refilling his gun. The Bahamut used its tail to try and hurt him, but he rolled out of the way swiftly and he kept firing.

Cid launched with his spear, burying the blade on top of its head as he let out a loud cry. The Bahamut shrieked in pain and shook around trying to take him off of its head, but he held a firm grasp on his spear. Red with Cait Sith on his back, jumped over the Bahamut. Cait grabbed Cid’s hand and pushed him out of harm’s way.

“This way!” Cait cried out and the three of them landed back on the building.

Sephiroth jumped away from the Bahamut as it crashed over the building, breaking parts of its metallic skeleton before it started flying again. The large, sharp, blade of the Masamune, penetrated its skin, creating large, bleeding cuts on its flesh.

Vincent jumped from metal to metal, firing at the beast again and again, and Jocasta kept shooting arrows at it, stabbing them deep in its flesh and making it cry out. It looked like they both made sure to shoot their bullets or arrows at the cuts that Sephiroth was creating. It seemed like only his sword was capable of penetrating its skin.

The Bahamut turned around and spotted the two. It flew towards them. Vincent’s attention fell on Jocasta. He had to make sure that she was safe, but it seemed like she needed no help. She jumped out of the way before the beast’s hands bent on the metallic platform that she was standing. She grabbed Sephiroth’s hand and he dragged her over the stable platform that he had just landed on.

Vincent let out a breath that he didn’t know _why_ he’d been holding, and he turned his attention at the Bahamut that was about to crash the platform that he was standing on. Before it had the chance, he jumped unnaturally high and landed on its shoulder. He shot right on its face and it shook trying to make him fall off, but he jumped again and landed by its other shoulder, shooting at its face again.

Yuffie’s Shuriken landed on its forehead, creating a large cut, and then it returned back to Yuffie, who landed back on her knees. Jocasta’s arrows kept flying towards the beast. She let go of her bow and she grabbed her Sais again, jumping over its back and creating cuts there. Red and Cait Sith climbed on top of it again. Red kept creating cuts on its skin with his nails.

The Bahamut tried to shoot another blast of blue energy towards Yuffie, but Cid and Sephiroth landed over its head with their blades and made it miss its target. Barret kept firing at it endlessly until he realized the debris from the explosion was heading his way.

Somebody grabbed him by his shirt and threw him out of the way. Barret landed unceremoniously on another platform and he looked up, seeing Cloud. “Where the hell have you been?!”

He received no answer, whatsoever. Jocasta, Sephiroth and Cid, jumped off the beast and landed on the same platform that Vincent was on. Tifa joined them and she settled her electrifying gloves over her hands.

And then, Cloud attacked. He jumped from the metallic skeleton of the building and landed over the Bahamut. He launched with two swords and while the Bahamut was too busy biting the one, he used the other to hurt it badly. The Bahamut shook its head, throwing him away. Cloud landed back on solid ground on his feet and merged his two swords back into one. He got in his stance and waited. Sephiroth joined him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to take the Bahamut all on his own. He grasped the Masamune and got in his stance beside him.

“Need some help with that?” Sephiroth asked.

“I do,” Cloud admitted and he couldn’t help that smirk that curled over his lips.

He couldn’t believe that Sephiroth and he had almost become _friends._ He knew that it was never Sephiroth the one who had done all these horrible things to him and other people. It was never Sephiroth the one who killed Aerith and his mom. It was the alien. He -of all people- knew how it felt being used as that alien’s puppet.

“Another attack and it’ll start flying upwards,” Cloud said as they both watched it flying towards them, approaching them.

“Then we fly upwards too,” Sephiroth said as he pointed at the team who had been waiting in different levels of the building as he had instructed them. Cloud nodded.

Once it reached them, they both attacked, burying their blades in its skin. It moved upwards and it took them both with it. A swift move with both their swords, had the Bahamut falling back. Cloud jumped away, and Sephiroth stayed on top of the beast, with his sword stabbed into it.

“Sephiroth!” Jocasta cried out worriedly as she watched the beast flying upwards with Sephiroth hanging on top of it with his sword.

“No worries, I’m taking a ride!” Sephiroth informed her before he vanished in the clouds with the Bahamut.

Cloud jumped up. He needed to catch up to the Bahamut and help Sephiroth defeat it. The first one to give him a push was Barret. Then Cid used his spear to pull him further up. Then it was Red with Cait, and then Yuffie, and then Vincent.

“Fly,” he said. And when Cloud reached Jocasta’s level, she grabbed his hand gave all the strength that she had to push him upwards. And the last one was Tifa. She grabbed his hand.

“No giving up!” She encouraged before she gave him a push and he was on his way to the Bahamut. But then, the final push came from Aerith. It seemed like she came out of nowhere, but she did take his hand and kept him in the air while he knew he should be falling.

Cloud landed on the Bahamut and found Sephiroth hanging on it with his sword. He nodded at him and they both dragged their swords all over its flesh. Sephiroth on the one side of its massive body, and Cloud on the other. The beast shrieked before the two of them jumped off of it and landed back on the building where the rest of the team was waiting.

Cloud landed beside Tifa, and Sephiroth landed nearby Jocasta. Yuffie, Barret, and Cid started cheering. Sephiroth placed the Masamune back on its case on his back, and so did Cloud with his swords.

“What now?” Tifa asked as the team gathered around.

“The Remnants. They must still be around Edge,” Sephiroth said.

Jocasta’s phone rang, and her hand reached immediately for her pocket. She picked it up and answered the call from the unknown number.

“Doc! Get spiky and the gang and get the hell back here! Kadaj got the head!” It was Reno.

“We’re on our way,” Jocasta said and she ended the call.

“Who was it?!” Barret asked.

“Is something wrong?” Tifa asked.

“Kadaj got his hands on JENOVA’s head,” Jocasta informed.

“Again with that bullshit,” Cid kicked the floor.

“We need to stop them,” Sephiroth said.

“What are the Remnants?” Yuffie asked.

“Bodies of unfortunate people that harbour JENOVA’s cells,” Sephiroth answered.

“All people suffering from Geostigma do have JENOVA’s cells, isn’t that right?” Tifa asked.

“Yes, but the Remnants have JENOVA cells in their minds and thus the alien is using them,” Jocasta explained.

“Then what the hell does it want this time?!” Barret asked.

“They want to recreate JENOVA. If that thing gets its pieces back together and is released on the world… Humanity is going to extinct exactly like what happened with the Cetra,” Sephiroth explained.

“Let’s go,” Cloud said and he hurried over his motorcycle that he had parked no further away.

“I’m coming with you,” Sephiroth said as he followed him. The city was a chaos. He was sure he could find a motorcycle abandoned somewhere around the streets.

“Be careful!” Jocasta warned and he nodded at her with a reassuring smile.

Cid grabbed his phone. He flipped it open “I’mma call Shera to come pick us up. We’ll follow Spiky and Sephy,”


	72. Near Death Experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack Recommended while reading the end of this chapter: 'After the Explosion' by Fernando Velazquez

Cloud and Sephiroth were locked into chasing the Remnants. Kadaj was ahead on his motorcycle with JENOVA’s head in his arms, and the other two were trying to make Sephiroth and Cloud lose him. Cloud dealt with the other two, and Sephiroth focused on Kadaj. Reno and Rude showed up with a helicopter and they helped Cloud deal with Loz and Yazoo.

The team was gathered in the Shera. Cid’s hands were tight around the rudder as he piloted the ship, following the fight. The team were all staring at the window, keeping up with what was happening. Hester groaned worriedly.

“Isn’t there some way that we can help?” She asked turning at Cid and the rest of the team.

“It’s alright, Hest, Sephiroth has Cloud and the goddamn Turks! They don’t look like they need our help!” Cid said.

Hester sighed and crossed her hands against her chest. She felt a hand by her shoulder and she turned to see who it was. Jocasta gave her a smile and passed her hand around her daughter’s shoulders “It’s alright. If it looks like they’re in trouble, we’ll jump right in,” she said reassuringly and Hester sighed.

It was still surprising that her mother wasn’t using a cane. But again, Hester knew Jocasta would’ve figured out how to heal herself _anyway._ She always seemed so capable of _standing back up to her feet whenever times were tough._ Hester had to admit to herself. She admired that.

“We better! It’s so boring up here!” Yuffie protested.

“Shut up, brat!” Cid cried out.

“Fuck off, old man!” Yuffie shot back and she received a smack on her shoulder by Jocasta.

“Language!” Jocasta scolded.

Yuffie groaned “I’m no longer a kid!’

“You are!” Everybody -minus Vincent and maybe Red- yelled out in unison, and Yuffie groaned raising her hands in defeat.

Jocasta could no longer hear the loud voices inside her mind. She knew that that was probably because Vincent was in the same room. They hadn’t even exchanged a word. She knew he wouldn’t approach her even if he wanted to. _Of course, he didn’t want to._ He was still mad at her and that was pretty much obvious. She knew he had all the right to be mad. She hadn’t told him. She _couldn’t._ She had kept the truth from him. But telling him that the only woman he’d ever loved _never wanted him_ and _that was the reason she had married another man,_ she knew, it would _break_ his heart. But he hadn’t believed her. And she knew that he wouldn’t believe her. He couldn’t because he was so convinced that Lucrecia _loved_ him.

But _right now,_ he couldn’t hear his demon’s and his beasts’ voices inside his mind either and he knew that _that_ was because Jocasta was there. He had that _silence_ in his mind that he didn’t have for such a long time. He was exhausted. He hadn’t slept for _who knows_ how many days. The nightmares and the screams in his mind, wouldn’t let him sleep, and after _two years_ of a mind in a constant _unease,_ he finally listened to _silence._ Silence. And he could finally hear clearly what his friends were saying.

He _hated_ that he _craved for_ this. He craved _for her._ He couldn’t even begin to remember how soft her touch was when she’d cup his face. The taste of her lips still lingered in his memory. Sweet, and kind, and graceful. He hated that he longed for all of these. But he knew that he’d never let himself taste _her_ again. He couldn’t, knowing that Lucrecia was still alive. Knowing that Sephiroth was his and Lucrecia’s son. He wanted to bring her back. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to spend an eternal life with her. But he knew he’d never get that either. It was _ironically funny_ that he couldn’t have either of both.

He knew Jocasta wasn’t approaching him and wasn’t talking to him because she was mad. _Of course,_ she’d be. He’d left when she was bed-ridden and probably _needed_ him more than ever. At the worst possible time. But he couldn’t stay there. He couldn’t stay and hold her knowing that she had wronged him like this. Knowing that _she was the one_ who kept him away from Lucrecia and their son in the first place. He didn’t know if he felt angry about it anymore though. Maybe he wasn’t angry at all. It had been two whole years. He hadn’t seen her in two years and _seeing her now_ it made him realize that despite what happened, despite what was _said and done back then,_ he had _missed_ her. He had missed watching her fight. He had missed fighting by her side. He had missed having somebody in his arms. _No._

 _No._ He had to remind himself that he couldn’t have _this._ He couldn’t because Lucrecia was still out there. And even though she was trapped in a greenish, Mako _prison_ she was still there, alive, and she _loved him._ Or at least, he was still convinced that she did.

By the time he turned his attention back to reality and to the fight that had been going on in the middle of Midgar, he noticed Kadaj falling from a building holding something in his hand. Cloud and Sephiroth jumped off the building, following him closely behind.

Sephiroth and Cloud landed on another building, getting back into their stances and gripping on their weapons. When Kadaj got back up to his feet, he was no longer Kadaj, but he was _Sephiroth._ Or at least, the silver-haired one that they fought two years ago. Sephiroth’s eyes grew wide for a moment and he got off his stance for a mere second.

“Now that is…” He tried to say, and it took him a moment to find the right word “… _disturbing_ ,”

Cloud’s eyes were wide too as he walked closer to Sephiroth, but maintained his stance “I was expecting JENOVA,”

“Me too. But it seems JENOVA is _formless_ ,” Sephiroth guessed.

“That’s right,” the silver-haired Sephiroth said -nay- _JENOVA said_.

Cloud seemed in unease and Sephiroth gave him a reassuring look “We can take him together,”

Cloud nodded “Right,”

Everybody was surprised, staring wide-eyed at the scheme. The team started commenting immediately, after a short moment filled with gasps and maybe a few cries and hisses as they looked at _the Sephiroth_ that they fought two years ago.

“What the fuck?!” Cid cried out.

“That is disturbing, indeed,” Hester commented.

“But… how??!” Yuffie asked.

“Kadaj is a Remnant of Sephiroth. Think of him as some sort of a larval form,” Vincent said.

“Larva?! You mean he’s an insect?!” Yuffie asked confusedly.

Jocasta opened her mouth to explain, but Cait Sith spoke “Lassie! Shut your gob!”

“Yo! Cid, park this turkey. We gotta help!” Barret cried out.

“Shut up! You want off?! Jump! Get off ma back!” Cid shot back crankily.

“Vincent, did Cloud and Sephiroth know about Kadaj?” Tifa asked ignoring the other two.

“Sephiroth knew,” Hester answered.

“And Cloud… well, one would think,” Vincent said.

“Well, it’s their fight now, so it seems,” Jocasta said as she crossed her hands against her chest.

“You’re right,” Tifa said.

“But that doesn’t mean we’re not gonna help if they need us,” Jocasta insisted.

“Why is it their fight!? I don’t get it! Why can’t we help out?!” Yuffie asked confusedly. Her hands were barely holding all the Materia that she had gathered.

“This is man talk,” Cid said receiving a smack on his shoulder from Shera who was standing beside him, managing the rest of the ship’s controls. “Shera! What the hell?!”

“You deserved it,” Shera said with a mischievous smile on her lips as she pressed a few more buttons on the computers.

“Sexist! Sexist!!” Yuffie protested.

Cait groaned “Crikey lass! Shut yer mooth!”

“Men don’t get it either,” Barret frowned.

“Two years ago…” Tifa started “…think of all the strength that we all had when we fought that last battle. It’s only been a couple of years, but already that feeling is gone. But Cloud, I think he’s found it again,”

“Sephiroth never lost it though,” Hester commented.

“I second that,” Jocasta added.

Barret clicked his tongue “They got ten minutes,”

“That Cloud’s a royal pain in the ass, like always,” Yuffie commented and a smile flashed across Tifa’s lips.

“Cloud is Cloud,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Sephiroth and Cloud were locked into fighting the alien. But they had it two to one so it wasn’t as difficult as Cloud thought it would be. They both used their swords to slice through the body that it had shapeshifted into. It was strange for Sephiroth to fight _something_ that looked so much like him. Nay, it looked so much like what he _was_. He’d never realized he could be so _inhumane._ Yet again, he knew. He always knew that he was not _human._ He’d never been, but that _thing_ that they fought was just… _monstrous._

He’d spent his entire life thinking that he was a monster. Only lately did he realize that _he wasn’t._ At least, he wasn’t a monster _by choice._ And maybe, _what he wanted to be,_ that was what mattered the most. His own thought for himself. Not other people’s prospect of him.

They had cornered it. It had thrown out its wing and it was in the air. The two of them had already hurt it enough. Sephiroth and Cloud made a good team. They fought well together. He was content that they were friends. They both were. Not all good friendships started _smoothly._

It closed its wing around its body and then it transformed back into Kadaj, who landed on the debris of the building on which they were all standing. Kadaj tried to attack with his double-bladed sword, but he was already too wounded, and instead of hurting Cloud, he just landed on him.

Cloud caught him. All that the Remnants ever wanted, was the _affection_ of a _mother._ Just like Sephiroth, two years ago. It was both terrifying and _saddening_ that he saw himself into them. He knew how it felt _yearning_ for something that _he didn’t have_ back in the day. But he did _now._ Actually, he always had the love of a _mother._ And it didn’t matter that it wasn’t his _birth_ mother who gave it to him.

Sephiroth knelt beside Kadaj. Kadaj’s unnatural green eyes found him. They were so full of tears, they started trickling down his cheek. He was talking with somebody that Sephiroth couldn’t hear. Sephiroth placed a hand on the Remnant’s shoulder and he turned and looked at him.

“Sometimes we search for something that we already have,” Sephiroth said, sadly.

The only reason he was doing whatever JENOVA asked of him back in the day, it was because he _thought_ that she was his mother. He didn’t know it was just a manipulative _alien_ that was using him to achieve its own purposes. Purposes that he wanted no part of. He didn’t know that he already had a _mom_ somewhere out there, and it _just_ didn’t matter if they were related by blood or not. Jocasta had given him the love that a child _deserves_ and he would forever love her for that. Even if it was for just a little.

“Yes,” Kadaj nodded, and Sephiroth wasn’t sure if he was agreeing with what he had just said, or if he was talking with somebody _from the Lifestream._ Kadaj just raised his hand and something drew him up, and he dissolved into the pure Lifestream that resides one’s body.

Sephiroth got back up to his feet and he placed his Masamune in its case on his back. He looked over at Cloud, who had a troubled expression on his face. Maybe he was thinking about what he had just said. Maybe he _indeed_ had _everything_ he needed. Maybe he _indeed_ had to stop residing amongst ghosts, and just embrace what he had. He had Tifa, Denzel, Marlene. He already had a huge family, with people that he knew _they loved him_ and they _needed him._ And he was going to be there for them. He had to because he _loved them and needed them too._

Sephiroth noticed movement. He had a feeling that they weren’t alone. And he was right. He saw a couple of bullets, rushing towards Cloud. He acted quickly. Maybe quicker than the bullets.

“Watch out!” He shouted, as he pushed Cloud out of the way and the bullets landed on his stomach.

Sephiroth gritted his teeth holding back a wince. He didn’t know how deep they had reached, but he knew that he felt the hot sensation of blood trickling out of multiple holes on his stomach. His blood soaked his shirt and eventually his leather jacket. A hand clutched on his stomach, trying to ease the pain, that he knew, he couldn’t ease it just by clutching on it. But it hurt, and he bit his tongue harshly for a minute _or two_. He looked up and saw the other two Remnants. The one had shot them. They were almost ready to be dissolved into the Lifestream. Their Materias were bright into their hands, ready to blow up.

“Sephiroth!” Cloud’s voice came worriedly. He cried out angrily as he attacked the other two Remnants, beating them up quicker than he would if he wasn’t angry.

Cloud rushed back to Sephiroth, who had fallen on his knees with another wince reaching his lips. Cloud immediately caught him before his back hit the cold cement of the building that they stood on. He had just saved his life. He couldn’t believe that he felt sad and frustrated. His _old_ nemesis was bleeding in his hands. Cloud gritted his teeth trying not to cry. _No._ It should’ve been him the one bleeding to death _now._

The bullet wounds were multiple and deep. He no longer had JENOVA inside his body, and he wasn’t going to have the skin regenerate back together.

“C- Cloud-”

“Why did you- You shouldn’t have. Sephiroth, you shouldn’t have…” Cloud tried to say but he lost his words. He did not deserve this.

“I never got to… apologize,” Sephiroth managed between winces. A drop of blood slipped out of his lips as his hands clutched on his wounds.

Cloud shook his head “You’ve got nothing to apologize for,” and he meant it. He knew it was never Sephiroth the one he fought two years ago. He knew it was never him. Cloud opened his mouth to talk but he saw the team rushing towards them.

Hester knelt beside Sephiroth and she gathered him on her lap while Jocasta took out a bottle with her serum.

Hester grabbed his hand in hers and he looked up at her. Despite the weakness and the pain, he smiled. He smiled because he was looking at her. And even though he knew he had little time, he was _content_ before he’d tasted how life could be with her. He’d _tasted happiness._ He was staring right at it.

She saw him drifting away for a moment, his smile almost faded. Hester cupped his face immediately, pulling him back to her “No, no, no, no, no… Sephiroth, stay with me, please…” her fingers tightened around his hand while the other kept his head stable.

She didn’t know how many tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t know how much she was sobbing. She just knew that she _couldn’t_ lose him. She _couldn’t_. She had lost him before. She couldn’t let that happen. Not again. _Never again_.

“Stay with me, please, I can’t lose you… I- I can’t lose you… not again… please,” Hester cupped his face and pressed her forehead against his, looking deep into his crimson-brown eyes.

She had taken a look at those bullet wounds. They were _many_ and deep, and deadly. Jocasta was already transmitting him her serum, but she didn’t know whether they were too late or not. He nodded and he closed his eyes for a minute, feeling her fingers tightening around his. Savoring the soft caress of her fingers on his cheek. Her forehead pressed against his.

“Just hang in there a little longer…” she pulled back to look down at him. He was still alive. He looked up at her in wonder. His eyes and his face finally _at peace._ He was with her. _He was with her._

He smiled “Hester…” his bloody hand let go off hers and reached for her cheek “…I love you… so much… I’m sorry that we…” he felt the metallic taste of his blood on his tongue. He coughed harshly. The pain radiated everywhere, but it didn’t matter. “…I’m sorry that we don’t have much time,” he didn’t know how else to say it. He didn’t know if he could even put into words what he was feeling. He was _dying_ but _it was okay._ He was with her.

She let out a sob and she took his hand in hers again. She kissed his palm “I love you too… Just stay with me… I need you here…” _No,_ he couldn’t be dying. _Not now_ that she had found him again. What was she gonna do without him? How was she supposed to let him go? “I need you here with me, please,” she wept. Her fingers clutched on him, trying to keep him there. Trying to keep him from fading away. How was she supposed to live without him?

Sephiroth’s fingers loosened their grasp around hers. His head slowly rolled back.

“No… no, no, no, no…” Hester shook her head and buried her face in his neck. He couldn’t be gone. _He couldn’t be._

And then a shout came and she felt somebody pulling her down. “Hester! Watch out!”

A large explosion came from behind. Hester found Jocasta falling on top of her, shielding her with her body from the flames and the bright light of the explosion that came -perhaps- from the Materias that the Remnants possessed.

Everything went black.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Vincent’s eyes widened. They all gasped and hurried over the window, to make sure that what they had just seen happening, it had actually happened. A large explosion came up, and when it did, Vincent was only halfway the hatch. He’d just seen his son getting shot. He was on his way to that building, to help Jocasta and Hester. Cid, Barret and Tifa had joined him, but they all fell back at the impact. Even the entire ship shook a little. He knew how powerful explosions from Materia could be. He knew what had happened to Sephiroth and Jocasta and Cloud and Hester.

His heart beat loudly against his chest, that for a moment, it was all he could hear. But then the voices inside his mind returned and he clenched his fingers because he knew what that meant. He bit his tongue a little too harshly as he urged himself back to his feet. He had to hurry. He had to see for himself. They couldn’t be _dead._ They couldn’t be _gone._ He wouldn’t be able to handle it. He couldn’t let go of his son. He couldn’t let go of Jocasta without making _right_ whatever it was that they had.

_No. She can’t be gone._

_She can’t be._


	73. "See? Everything's Alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter: 'Cloud Smiles' by Nobuo Uematsu (what a legend)

_Wait here, and they’ll come back._ It was Aerith’s voice on that message. There was no doubt. It came on all the phones. Everybody picked them up and heard what they wanted to hear. A cure for Geostigma, only to be found in Aerith’s Church on whatever was left of Midgar’s Sector Five Slums.

Vincent was worried. He was more worried than he’d admit. They hadn’t found the bodies, only Hester lied there frightened. The entire team had received that call on their phones. It was more like a message, asking them to go back to Aerith’s church. The entire City received that call. And maybe, the entire world did as well. Everybody gathered at the Sector Five slums. Or at least, what was left of it.

It was incredible to think of how the only thing that still stood there, was Aerith’s Church. The entire City had collapsed, yet that church still stood tall. There was indeed something _special_ about that place. Vincent hadn’t visited it before, but Tifa had told him that that’s where Cloud, Sephiroth, and Jocasta would be. That’s what everybody read in that message on their phones.

Cid took them there on the Shera. They hoped that they’d find them there. Children and people were already in the church when the team entered. Jocasta was standing side by side to Sephiroth in the far end, in front of that pond. He looked _good._ Like he hadn’t gotten shot at all. Cloud woke up. He’d been floating in that pond that rested in the middle of the church, right where Aerith’s flowers used to.

None of them had any injuries at all. Jocasta wasn’t really sure how that was possible. She remembered the explosion’s flames consuming her back. It would’ve burned her and her daughter alive, but she had saved Hester just in time. It was that _motherly_ instinct.

She and Sephiroth looked up seeing the team hurrying towards them. Hester jumped in Sephiroth’s hands. They both laughed as he picked her up. His hands were tight around her as he supported her whole body against his, and her legs tangled around his waist. His fingers clutched on her shirt as she kissed him right away. He smiled in the kiss. _Everything_ was going to be _okay._

Jocasta smiled as she watched the two. She noticed Tifa hugging Cloud tightly, not minding the water of the pond that had reached her knees, wetting her shorts. And then she felt arms around her, and her face pressing against the chest of a man. She would recognize those buckles of that leather shirt anywhere. The hands were tight around her. She even felt his fingers clutching on her shirt. She felt his chin pressing on top of her head and she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say, how to react.

She just felt it _all_ coming back at her. The guilt. The regret. The _pain._ She had hurt him, and she knew it, and she knew that she did not deserve that hug. She did not deserve _him._ She did not deserve his hands around her. She had _hurt_ him. She had _failed_ him. And it was unbelievable to think of how many feelings just a simple hug of his brought to her. She had missed this so much. She had missed _him_ so much. She was so used to the _pain_ that she didn’t know how much it _hurt_ not having him there for two years.

He didn’t care, though. He thought he’d lost her for a second. He knew that explosion should’ve killed them, but it hadn’t. It hadn’t, and he felt so much grateful that she was there. That she was alive. That the voices inside his mind were _silenced._ He felt her fingers clutching on his shirt and he’d forgotten how much he liked it when she did that. He’d forgotten how it felt _hugging her._ He’d forgotten how much she _needed_ him and how much he _needed_ her. What would he do if she had died in that explosion? How would he ever be able to let her go without _mending_ that relationship? Without fixing what they had?

“I’m so sorry,” It came out with a sob as she pressed her face further into his chest and her fingers pulled on his collar as if she was trying to bring him closer.

Vincent knew he should be mad at her. He knew he shouldn’t be hugging her. He knew he had to pull back and walk away and never hold her again like that but it _hurt_ not doing any of these. Two years without her felt so much longer than those thirty years into that coffin. He couldn’t even begin to remember how soft her touch was on his cheek whenever she’d cup his face. Whenever she’d hug him, tangle her fingers in his hair, and pull on them to guide him further down to her height.

His heart still ached for Lucrecia, but if Jocasta ever _left_ he didn’t know what he would do. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever _lost_ _her,_ because he’d lost so much already. His hands tightened around her and he buried his face in her shoulder. He shut his eyes trying to convince himself that this wasn’t _wrong_ while he knew that he should _feel_ wrong. He had a son with Lucrecia and she’d kept that from him, but he had _missed_ holding her. He knew she was apologizing _now_ and he knew that _that_ apology _shouldn’t_ feel _enough,_ but it _did_.

She let out another sob against his shoulder and he could feel his shirt wetting up from her tears. She couldn’t tell him the same thing again. That the only reason that she hadn’t told him, was because she would hurt him if she let him know that Lucrecia had only married another man because she didn’t _want_ him, _nor his child._ But she had hurt him anyway and maybe that was the _pain_ that she was feeling.

“I’m so sorry,” She repeated because she knew that saying it once was not nearly enough.

 _No._ He didn’t want to hear her crying. He didn’t want to hear her sobs. He didn’t want to hear an apology. He just wanted to hold her. He just wanted to see her smile. He just wanted to let go of what happened, and just clutch on to her, because he had nearly lost her.

Because every day he could lose her, and _now_ he should just _grasp_ the moment, and cherish it for as long as he could. For as long as she was there. And he knew that he was thinking _wrong._ He knew that he shouldn’t be feeling _so much_ for her. He knew he should probably pull away, and seek for his solitude back in that cavern where Lucrecia was. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He didn’t know how to explain it to himself. He just felt his heart hammering against his chest, and it was louder and louder with every second that he held her. Maybe he was indeed _falling_ for her. _Or maybe_ he already had. He was just not admitting it because it sounded so _ridiculous_ to fall for the woman who had kept the truth from him. And when she said that Lucrecia _never loved him,_ he hadn’t believed her. He never would.

Vincent pulled back to look down at her. Bright grey eyes found his, filled with tears. He saw the regret and the _pain_ from the way that she snapped her gaze away from his. How could she even look up at him after all that she’d done? He wanted to cup her face, and wipe her tears away and just pull her back into that hug because he _needed_ it. He _needed_ her. But how _dare he_ let go of Lucrecia so _easily?_ How _dare he_ feel so much for Jocasta?

He withdrew his hands from around her and so did she. He just walked away in regret. He shouldn’t have hugged her. He shouldn’t have held her like that. He shouldn’t be feeling so much. He shouldn’t be _needing her_ so much. He shouldn’t. 

Vincent walked away. He joined the rest of the team, and he settled on the back. Hester pulled Jocasta in a tight hug. She had never hugged her like that before. But _now,_ how couldn’t she? She had just saved her life with her own. If it weren’t for Jocasta’s body shielding hers, she would’ve died from that explosion.

Hester had seen Jocasta crying, and _maybe_ offering a _shoulder to cry on_ was the least that she could do. They both joined the rest of the team that stood by the pond, giving all the space for the people who were in need of that water. Jocasta wiped her cheeks and she sniffled. She received hugs from Cid, Tifa, Barret, Shera. The team turned and looked at Cloud and Sephiroth who were still standing in the middle of that pond, and children were waiting around it to be healed. Marlene had a wide smile on her face. Her one little hand held Cait Sith, and the other sank in her father’s robotic fingers.

“Welcome back,” Marlene said.

“I’m back,” Cloud said and he meant it. He was indeed so _lost_ these two years. But _now,_ he was himself again. He looked at Tifa and remembered how much he loved her. Sephiroth was right. _Sometimes we search for something that we already have._ He already had a family. He already had Tifa, and Denzel, and Marlene, and Barret, and Cid, and… just one big _family_ that he should _dearly_ love. They’ve been through _so much_ together.

“There are still children with the stigma,” Nanaki reminded them.

“Yeah,” Cloud nodded and he walked towards Denzel. Tifa’s hands were on his little shoulders as she encouraged him to get into that pond.

Cloud lifted up his hands and he picked the kid up and brought him into the pond. He picked a handful of that water and poured it on Denzel’s forehead. Denzel flinched at the sudden pain, but then it all washed away. He saw his Geostigma vanishing and he laughed. Everybody laughed and cheered and jumped into the pond.

“It’s working!” Yuffie through a fist in the air, excitedly.

“Last one is a rotten egg!” Cid cried out as he watched the children jumping into the pond excitedly.

The kids approached Cloud and Sephiroth into the pond. Sephiroth had a wide smile on his face as he tended on the Geostigma of the kids. Cloud looked over at Tifa. She looked _marvelous_ as always. She gave him a smile and he couldn’t help but return it. The team was cheering, helping the children and the people to cure their Geostigma.

Jocasta looked at the _magnificent_ water and she _instantly_ forgot about the tense emotions and Vincent and all those things that _hurt._ She just couldn’t _wait_ to get that water back in a lab for examination. _Sweet, sweet science._ She was more than excited to sink back into her work and her research. At least _science didn’t hurt that much._

Jocasta felt a hand by her shoulder and she turned and saw Shera. Shera pushed her in a tight hug, which she gladly accepted. “I’m so happy to see you’ve recovered,” Shera said with a wide smile as she pulled back.

Jocasta returned the smile “I’m so happy you’re here, Shera. How did you guys know we needed help with that Bahamut?” she grinned.

“We didn’t,” Shera chuckled “Cid and I were planning to visit, to share some more exciting news,” she lifted her hand up, revealing the ring that she had been wearing.

Jocasta’s eyes widened “You guys are getting married?!” she asked excitedly.

“Yes! Finally!”

Cloud’s attention fell at a familiar form. He’d recognize that pink dress anywhere. Aerith walked towards the exit of the church. He didn’t know if she was real. He just knew she was there. She was helping. She was the one who had saved them _again_. She walked towards the entrance of the church where Zack was waiting for her. She turned and looked at Cloud with a smile.

“See? Everything’s… alright,” she said before she turned back at Zack.

Zack gave him a last wave before he reached for Aerith’s hand. Aerith let her fingers sink into her beloved’s and both of them walked out, vanishing in the whiteness of the bright morning light. _Hand in hand. Now,_ Cloud knew that these two were happy. _Because they were together._ Even if it meant being together on _the other side._

_I know. I’m not alone. Not anymore._


	74. Chance Meeting Under the Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Slow Motion' by Charlotte Lawrence

Jocasta barely had anything to wear. _Believe it or not,_ going out in such occasions was a rare thing, and buying a dress wasn’t really needed until she held the invitation in her hands. The invitation to Cid’s and Shera’s wedding. Jocasta smiled. She felt happy for them. They had found their happiness in each other and it made her content to watch her friends being happy.

Most people were just _meant_ to have this, and some others just _weren’t._ Jocasta knew it was stupid to think like this. It was stupid to be all _depressive about it._ She was _so done_ being depressed. She was so _done_ brooding over the past. She had stopped that, but it didn’t mean that she had also stopped feeling _sad_ about her and Vincent. She wanted to have this. _This_ normality. She hated herself that she was almost _jealous_ of Cid and Shera. But then she had to remind herself, that jealousy was _wrong._ She just smiled when Shera told her the news, but there was that pit in her stomach and that tightness in her chest.

Vincent had hugged her that day. It had almost been a week. But he had hugged her so tight and it felt like he _needed_ her there in his arms. His fingers had clutched, and pulled on her shirt. Pulled on her to bring her closer.

But then she apologized. She felt like she had to. She didn’t care who was right, and who was wrong, she was just so tired of not having him there. She was just tired of _this._ She wanted things to get back to normal. She wanted him to love her, because he wanted to. At least, it felt like he wanted to. He wanted to pull back and tell her that it was _okay._ Tell her, that he was ready to _move on._ But instead, he just fended away, and said nothing. She wasn’t expecting him to say much anyway.

She knew that a simple apology was not enough, but he didn’t let her know what he needed. What would be enough to make up for lying to him? What did he want her to do? She’d do _anything_.

Jocasta’s thoughts snapped away from that when her phone’s ringtone reached her ears. She flipped it open, seeing a message that she had just received from Tifa.

_We’re waiting._

Jocasta chuckled. She passed her bag by her shoulder. Her keys hung from her fingers as she exited her apartment and locked her door. Tifa hadn’t missed the chance to take her and Yuffie in the shops of Edge to look for a proper dress for them both to wear at the wedding. Jocasta never really liked _shopping,_ but maybe that was because she had never _done it before. Going out shopping with friends_ was something that Lucrecia used to do with her own friends. Jocasta was the older child of the family, and since she was being adopted, she knew Lucrecia’s parents couldn’t afford to send her to a university, so she had to work hard for a scholarship. All Jocasta ever knew, in her teenage years, was studying, _studying, studying._ She needed the good grades.

And so, she’d never tried _shopping_ before. She was pretty much sure that the only one excited about this, was Tifa, though. _What could be so fun about_ running around in stores and trying new clothes? Yuffie was probably there only because she wanted to buy new shoes and oils that she used to care for her Shuriken’s blades. Yuffie never seemed to care too much about looks anyway.

“There you are!” Tifa’s voice came and Jocasta looked up, meeting her doe-brown eyes. Yuffie was standing behind her, with a finger tucked in her one nostril. Marlene was there too. She looked excited. The young girl ran over to Jocasta, and she pulled her into a tight hug with her little hands.

“Joe!” Marlene cried out excitedly and Jocasta hugged her back.

“Marlene, how’re you doing, sweetheart?” Jocasta asked as she pulled back.

“I’m great! Tifa says we’re gonna have lots of fun!” Marlene said.

“We will!” Tifa said as she pulled Jocasta into a tight, brief hug.

“I don’t get what’s so fun about dresses,” Yuffie said from behind as she approached. She frowned “I could be kicking ma fellow ninjas’ ass right now!” she complained.

“Yuffie! You’re the one who said you wanted to buy a decent dress for the wedding,” Tifa said and Jocasta’s eyes widened surprised.

“Really?” she asked.

Yuffie groaned “That’s true. Don’t wanna be forced to wear one of my mom’s thirty-year-old kimonos,”

“We’ll get you new shoes too!” Marlene added.

“Meh, no need! I’mma wear my trainers,” Yuffie said and Jocasta laughed.

“You do not go to a wedding on trainers,” Tifa said.

Yuffie finally pulled out her finger from her nostril “You do since they’re comfortable!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Going out with Cid, Sephiroth, Cloud, Reeve and Barret was way more fun that he expected. _Well,_ that depends on how somebody defines _fun._ For, Vincent, it was more like _sipping on red wine while listening to the others talk._ Cid was talking about the wedding preparations.

Cloud and Sephiroth were silent mostly. Both sitting beside Vincent, and basically the three of them just listened to the other three talking. Reeve told them how it was, being the commissioner of the World Regenesis Organization. He’d quit working for Shinra long ago, and he was _now_ focusing on the betterment of the Planet.

Vincent had to admit. He admired that. If Reeve was indeed intending on helping the world, then it was people like him that were actually going to help the people get back to their feet. There had been two years and not enough progress had been made. But after curing Geostigma, things were getting better. It was _now_ Reeve’s turn to help.

Barret was rebuilding his hometown, Corel. He’d agreed with Hester, Cid and a couple more scientists and engineers, to come up with a new kind of reactors. The ones that used oil to produce energy. Things were going well as he said. Hester and Sephiroth were helping all they could. Rocket Town’s engineers were all working tirelessly on that. Reeve was funding it, of course.

“So how about ya three? Y’all being awfully quiet,” Barret said at last, and Vincent, Cloud and Sephiroth finally looked away from their drinks and turned at the other three that were sitting across them.

Vincent didn’t really have anything to talk about. He was just wandering the world. Always so lost in his thoughts. In the voices that he had inside his mind that would never stop. His demon didn’t lose its chance to draw his attention off anything else. His beasts growled for release. He hadn’t gone hunting for a while and he was planning to do that. He just couldn’t handle that endless ache on his forehead that came from them.

“Everything’s going fine,” Sephiroth answered before he sipped on his beer. And life had _indeed_ become so much better. Living with Hester was probably the _best few months_ that he’d ever lived in his life. Helping out Reeve build and train his new recruits, was tricky. He had trained rookies before, but these ones were not _Mako infused SOLDIERs_ and there was definitely a large difference.

“Sephiroth’s been an excellent teacher for our new recruits!” Reeve spoke.

“They’re all young. They’ve got much to learn,” Sephiroth said “But they’re doing great,”

“Damn, Sephy! That’s so fuckin’ good ta know!” Cid said excitedly, as he puffed out his cigarette.

“Gotta admit, I’m surprised ya offered to help, Seph,” Barret said.

Well, Sephiroth was sure he was _surprising_ everybody. But keeping no contact to Shinra at all, and living with the woman that he loved, was certainly making him happy. The only thing that was _off_ was all the things that he had done. His actions had almost destroyed the whole Planet even though he knew he never intended to do any of these. But _now_ he wanted to make things right. This time, he was sure that the WRO was indeed focusing on the betterment of the world. He was glad to work with Reeve, because he always knew, that even when he was still working for Shinra, Reeve was the only _reasonable_ one amongst the people who governed that _wretched_ company.

“It’s about time I did something good,” Sephiroth mumbled and he felt a hand on his shoulder by Barret.

“You’re gonna do great, Seph. Reeve’s gang needs ya,” Barret said as he patted his shoulder, before he drew his hand back.

“Alright, y’all, I got an announcement to make,” Cid said as he finished another cigarette and everybody waited for him to speak.

“Ooh! You’re gonna finally tell us who your best man’s gonna be. Is that why ya gathered us all here?!” Barret asked.

“That’s right!” Cid said with a wide smile “And ma best man’s gonna be Vinnie over here,”

Vincent snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Cid calling out his name. He looked up, not really sure what they had been talking about. He was sure he hadn’t heard a word. How could he? The voices in his mind were _almost_ unbearably loud. But then he saw those wide smiles on his friends’ faces, and he felt pats on his shoulders and he guessed what it might’ve been. _Oh._ _Cid’s best man._

He had to admit. He needed a minute _or two_ to process that. If Cid wanted him to be his best man then that meant that he considered him his _friend. No,_ not just _friend_. _Best friend._ But _how?_ He couldn’t help but wonder. He’d never had a _best friend._ Not after he _died._ It was unbelievable to think that _somebody_ wanted him to have that important role in their lives, even _now_ at the _sorry_ state that he was in. He was a _ghost._ A _dead,_ broken man that wouldn’t let go of the _past_ and the people that he had lost.

Not to mention the beasts that were fighting for control almost all the time. And his demon that wouldn’t stop growling and _screaming_ in his mind, trying to shapeshift back into itself and take control. What if any of that happened during the wedding? What if he’d lose the control and he wrecked the entire thing?

“You don’t want me to be your best man, trust me,” Vincent said bitterly as she sipped on his wine and let it roll down his tongue. Cold and sweet.

“Oh c’mon don’t play the hardass vampy on me, Vinnie! Ya ain’t gonna go all beast mode, no worries. Jocasta’s gonna be there too ya know,” Cid said and he raised an eyebrow, looking at Vincent with a mischievous smile.

Vincent thought that it was better to ignore engaging into the _awkward_ subject. He just raised up his glass effectively changing the subject “To Cid and Shera,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Sephiroth and Reeve left before Cid and Vincent did. Reeve had stuff to take care of, and Sephiroth had a long ride ahead of him, to reach Mideel where his and Hester’s apartment was. Barret set off to help Marlene with her homework, and Cloud walked over Tifa, to help her with the orders in the bar. Vincent was going to leave too but Cid asked him to stay a bit more. The two of them, just sipped on their drinks and enjoyed the small buzzing sound of people talking around the other benches and booths of Seventh Heaven. Tifa was scrubbing on the bench with a cloth, smiling kindly at the guests. Cloud was around, helping out with the orders. Marlene and Denzel must have been upstairs with Barret.

It seemed like the entire team was around, except maybe Jocasta. Vincent looked at the couples, enjoying a drink together and he frowned. He too once a enjoyed a drink with Lucrecia like that. But he wasn’t frowning because of that. He just asked himself _why_ he was frowning, and he found that it was because _Jocasta wasn’t there._ But then he had to remind himself that he was being _foolish._ That he should stop feeling so much for her.

Cid chuckled “Oh boy, good ol’ Vinnie. Broodin’ all the fuckin’ time,” his voice snapped his attention back to reality and away from that endless chain of thoughts.

Was he indeed _brooding_ all the time? Vincent made a hum of acknowledgment. Cid was right. He _had_ been _brooding_ all the time. But that was maybe because he _couldn’t_ help it. He just had _so much_ to brood about.

“Called Joe to join us. Said she couldn’t make it. Girl always works, ya know?” Cid said as he sipped on his beer and his hand reached for another cigar.

Vincent _hmph-ed._ Jocasta always worked _indeed_. Even back then, when he was still her bodyguard, she would just stay in her room, studying and experimenting at all times, and if not, she’d always have somewhere to go. Some famous patient to take care of even if it was 4 am in the morning, she would still go. It seemed that -even if she wanted it- Jocasta would never have the time to take care of a family, and a husband. Especially back then, that she had to prove that she was _better_ than all the other men scientists. It was a time when everybody seemed to prefer men over _women_ scientists.

But _now_ it made more sense than ever. He was sure she was in a lab. One of the many of the University’s, and she was studying that water from the pond of Aerith’s church. Just a small pond wasn’t going to be enough to cure the entire world. He knew she’d have to figure something out. She always put so much weight on her shoulders.

“She does,” Vincent agreed.

“Have you two talked lately?” Cid asked.

Vincent pursed his lips. Maybe complying to Cid’s wishes and staying for another glass of wine, was a bad idea. He knew what Cid’s favorite subject was, but he could not escape it _now._

“No,”

Cid scoffed “For fuck’s sake, you two are being such idiots!”

“Cid, not all relationships can be like yours,”

“They fuckin’ can! Listen ta me, Vinnie. When two people love each other, they wanna be with each other. That’s all I know,” Cid said as he chugged down his beer.

“I don’t- I…” _love her? I don’t? I do?_ Vincent cut himself.

It was that one subject that he had nothing to say about. He didn’t know what to say about it. Because every time that he’d go over to Lucrecia’s cavern and he’d look at her, then all thoughts of Jocasta would just be wiped away, and every time that Jocasta would be around, then all he’d know was _how much_ he felt for her, and it was all so confusing, he had no idea what to do. 

“C’mon, ya can’t fool me,” Cid said.

“I don’t know, Cid,”

“Ya fuckin’ do. Tell you what? How about you’ll be ma best man now, and when you’ll get to decide what ya want, I’ll be yours, how about that?” Cid suggested and he looked at his friend waiting for an answer.

Vincent let out the _widest_ smile that he could manage. Him _getting married?_ To _whom?_ Jocasta? He knew the moment would probably never come. But he was _happy_ that he had Cid. He had a friend. A _best_ friend. It almost sounded unbelievable, but he did have that. Something he never thought he would.

“Deal,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Branches. So many sharp branches cut through the beast’s skin as it ran and ran and ran further into the forest outside of Edge. The full moon was doing nothing but fuel the beast’s powers as it rushed through the endless trees, and fallen tree trunks of the wild forest. He was sure that there were so many other wolfs scattered around the forest. So many other wild animals, but none wilder than him. The Galian Beast feasted on the flesh of an unfortunate animal. A wolf. The entire pack was waiting around it, though. Ready to attack it.

And they did. Multiple wolfs launched an attack from all sides. The Beasts felt sharp nails, digging on its back. Fangs sank in its skin, and the Galian Beast tossed around, pushing some of them away. Knocking the rest against the trees and the sharp stone on ground, the Galian Beast, mounted the highest peak in the middle of the night. Its nails scratched against the stone of the boulder that it had climbed on.

There was nothing but a cliff on the other side of that peak that it had just climbed. The trees had left an empty high spot, and that’s where the Galian Beast stood. Even though the stinging pain came from the wounds on its back, it growled. The full moon was high, and bright on the clear night sky. It fueled the beast with strength, and the wounds closed up. Its skin regenerated as it howled loudly. Louder than any other wolf that resided in that forest.

Vincent put all the effort that he could. He shapeshifted back to himself till he had to claw his way out on his own body. The monstrous body that he shared with so many beasts. He was a monster. He knew that. He knew it all too well. He groaned at the pain of his bones and his muscles shrinking back together on his form. Vincent fell on his knees, panting, in pain. His fingers clenched around handfuls of the soil beneath him. He panted hard, trying to catch his breath. Trying to win back the energy that had been drained from him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to make it back into town.

This happened often. He’d just end up passing out in the middle of the forest, hoping that a wild animal would come to eat him right up. But that never happened. There was something about him, that didn’t let any animals attack him. Maybe it was Chaos. He knew the instincts of animals were far deeper than a person’s. He was sure that they could sense Chaos.

Everybody should just stay away from him. He could hurt anybody at any moment. He was a monster. A monster that shapeshifted, and transformed. He deserved nothing more than to be stared at in disgust. He wasn’t surprised when people would stare at him. He wasn’t human. He wasn’t _normal_ and hated it. He hated _himself_ from being the way that he was. The experiments conducted on him by Hojo had made him like this, and _now_ he could do nothing but live through his eternal life, locked in that torment for a life that he had bestowed upon him.

After all he deserved it. He was the one who had failed to stop Lucrecia. He was the one who had brought his own beloved’s demise. He was the one who had left Sephiroth, _his son_ , unprotected in the hands of that madman. He’d left both his beloved and his son _unprotected._ He had turned his back on the world for thirty years while he could be there at least for the boy. But, _alas,_ he didn’t know. He didn’t know he even had a son. Jocasta had kept that from him. Maybe that was what kept him away from her. Away from Jocasta, because she had wronged, and he knew that she was _sorry_ but it just… He just didn’t want to be with her, because when he was with her, he was being reminded that he was actually feeling for her, too much. More than he should be. Maybe, even more than he’d ever felt for _Lucrecia._

 _No._ He had to remind himself to stop thinking like that. He had to _stop_. He had to remind himself that he _couldn’t_ let himself feel more for Jocasta. Not when Lucrecia was still around.

Vincent gathered himself back on his feet. He walked limply for the first few steps, but then he gathered his composure, and he walked in the darkness of the forest, with all the strength that he had.

He didn’t know how many minutes of walking passed. He didn’t know how much he was limping on his feet. He threw his hands by the nearest trees, trying to keep himself up. He finally got the hang of walking. Some of his strength was restored, but then he stopped walking when he noticed a body lying in the distance. It was dark in the thick forest. No normal person would be able to see in this darkness. Darkness only touched by the faint moonlight that barely breached the thick greenery of the trees.

But he did see a body and it looked familiar. There was somebody there, and they mumbled and tossed and turned. The shifting of a body on the soil was very much audible. He approached it, and his eyes widened when he realized it was Jocasta. She was passed out, lying in the middle of the forest. She was mumbling things. She must’ve been having a nightmare.

What was she doing there? And when the voices in his mind were silenced, he remembered that she too had a demon that needed to quench its thirst for blood. She too had to go hunting every once in a while, just like he did. She had passed out, probably from the exhaustion, but she was having nightmares. Her body was tense. He knew how much it drained their energy every time they’d have to transform.

He had to check on her pulse nevertheless. He knelt beside her and touched her hand. He let out a breath of relief when he felt a steady rhythm at the base of her wrist. Even in her sleep, she shifted closer to him. It seemed like her body had recognized him being there. Even if she wasn’t conscious, she had recognized his touch, his scent his presence. Maybe she did because the voices were silenced in her mind, and finally that mumbling and tossing and turning. Those painful expressions that had been wrinkling on the muscles of her face, had finally stopped because he was there. And those loud screams in his mind, they too were instantly silenced because _she_ was there.

She looked beautiful. Dressed in her grey shirt, with those black pants. Such a simple outfit, yet it suited her so much. Her hair was a black mess. Rhythmic little breaths left her nose as she _now_ slept peacefully. His hand reached for her face. An action that he hadn’t questioned. He hadn’t thought why he did that. He just knew he wanted to cup her _perfect_ face.

He took off his glove, and finally, his pale fingers brushed against her cheek. She was cold. He too was, but his fingers were warmer for sure. But her head immediately leaned on his touch. That response made him bite his tongue. He hadn’t realized how _beautiful_ it felt being _needed_ like this. He hadn’t thought about how much he _needed_ her too.

Vincent sat beside her. His back rested over that fallen tree trunk. He passed his hands around her and brought her on his lap. He tried to be as gentle as he could not to wake her. He didn’t know what they would say, and how she would react if she woke up. He didn’t want to talk about anything. He just wanted to hold her. He’d missed holding her so much.

His hands just tightened around her when her body curled closer to his. Her cheek pressed against his chest. Her hands reached for the buckles of his shirt. Her fingers tangled in them as she buried her face on his chest. He looked down at her while she slept. She looked so peaceful. So beautiful. He felt her small rhythmic breaths, brushing hot over his neck.

His right hand reached for her hair. He pushed a strand of hair away, revealing her face. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He didn’t know why he wanted to see her face. He didn’t know why he wanted her close. He just knew his heart craved for that. That closure from her. He rested his cheek on top of her head and he closed his eyes, and for a moment there was nothing but him and her. He hadn’t realized how much he _needed_ that closure to her. He was expecting to see Lucrecia’s face, but he didn’t. All he wanted was _her. Jocasta._ Even though she had lied to him. Even though he knew he should still be mad for that.

It had been two years since the last time he’d held her like this. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed this. And _now_ that he was holding her, there was no guilt, no regret, no _pain._ No _pain_ at all. Just two people that _completed_ each other in ways that he’d never admit. He’d forgotten why he should be mad at her, and he felt like he had to scold at himself for that but _he couldn’t help it._ His heart hammered hard against his chest just because he was holding her. He’d finally be able to sleep. He’d finally be able to spend a night and wake up the next morning, with no gasps, and screams, and tears. He hated how much he _needed_ her, while he knew he shouldn’t.

“Vincent,” her voice, made him snap his gaze back at her. He knew he should feel _frightened._ Awkward. He knew that he just let go of her and move away. He shouldn’t be holding her. _Especially now_ that she was awake. That her grey eyes met his. _Now_ that her nose brushed against his, and she had that look on her face. An expression of sadness and _pain._ She was going to pull away but she _couldn’t._ His arms were still tight around her. A grasp that she couldn’t escape. She didn’t want to escape. She wanted this for so long. She wanted his hands around her, and never let go. And then she scolded at herself bitterly, because she knew that he’d _always_ let go. That his heart wasn’t hers no matter how much he fooled her that it was.

But she couldn’t flinch away. Not when he stared at her like that. Not when her whole body pressed against his, and his hands had trapped her against him, and she didn’t care. She _wanted_ this more than she would ever admit. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She was ready to apologize again. She was ready to blink tears away. She was ready to start _running_ away.

His hand reached for her face. It drew her whole attention back at him. She fought the need to lean on his hand, but she gave in eventually. She felt his breath brushing on her lips. And that was only before he kissed her.

He kissed her. His lips found hers. Soft, and hesitant. Her breath was caught halfway her throat and she knew that he too had stopped breathing. His thumb brushed over her cheek. Warm and kind. She rolled their lips together. She knew she should be feeling so _content._ But she didn’t. It _hurt._ It hurt kissing him and knowing that he wasn’t _hers._ He’d never been. Why was he doing this to her? Why was she giving in so easily? He was using her again, and she knew that he was thinking of Lucrecia when he kissed her. Why was she kissing him back, even though she knew… it didn’t mean anything? She knew it. It couldn’t mean anything. That’s why it hurt _so much._

But he wasn’t thinking of Lucrecia when he kissed her. Lucrecia didn’t even cross his mind. All he could think of was that gentle dance of their lips. It wasn’t anything more than that. Just a kiss. Just that soft caress on her cheek. Her taste. Sweet. He couldn’t stop kissing her lips even though he knew he _should_ stop. He just couldn’t He felt completely numb and disappointed in himself. Disappointed, that he was feeling _so much_ for her. So much he’d never felt before.

But then she pulled back, shaking her head in denial “Please don’t,” her voice came as a plea. A plea that hid back so many emotions that he couldn’t even begin to decipher. He just looked at her questionably, trying to find if he’d done anything wrong, but then her words gave him the answer that he needed “Don’t do this again… don’t use me. I know I wronged you but this…” she buried her face in her hands. She had tears streaming down her face. Tears that she regretted instantly but she couldn’t stop them. But she didn’t want him to look at her while she was being like this. She felt that pit in her stomach and that tightness in her chest. Almost too tight for her to breathe “…this just hurts so much,”

 _No._ No, he didn’t want to see her being like this. It broke his heart. It shattered him to pieces and he didn’t care about anything for a moment. He just wanted her to _stop._ His hand found her hair, and he pressed her close so that she could cry in his neck. And she did. Her body shook in his arms and he _hated_ watching her being like this.

“Jocasta… I don’t mean to hurt you. It’s never my intention to hurt you…” He said and he gritted his teeth as she let out another sob against his neck and her fingers tugged on his collar. It _hurt_ watching her crying like this. It hurt even more because she was crying because of him, and he didn’t know how to explain that to her “…please, stop crying…” his hand found her chin. He lifted her face back up. He leaned in and kissed on those wet traces on her cheeks. He kissed her eyelids, her cheekbone, her cheek. She had stopped. He had made it, and he felt content about it. His hand found her cheek. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he was willing to forgive everything. He was willing to let go of everything and just be with her. These all sounded so _perfect._ Almost too perfect to be his. Untouchable dreams. He said none of these. “Just let me hold you for tonight,” and _now_ he was the one _pleading._

But Jocasta nodded even though she knew she shouldn’t have. She wanted to sleep. She wanted his arms around her. She wanted to believe that he _meant it_ when he said that he wanted her to stop crying. She wanted to believe him, but what if he was fooling her again? She had made so many empty promises to herself. Promises that she’d never let herself _fall_. But she had fallen deep and there was no getting back up _now._ Maybe that was why she nodded. She gave in.

Jocasta buried her face in his neck. She breathed him in and she felt his hands tightening around her. The weight of his cheek pressed on top of her hair as he held her close. She closed her eyes and she was afraid that when she’d open them again, he’d be gone. That, maybe, all this was just a play of her imagination. _That’s how much_ she _needed_ him.


	75. A Wedding, A Disaster Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter: 'Ice Age: Collision Course End Credits - Soundtrack Edit' by John Debney

The faint touch of light, reached her eyelids. She slowly began to stir, and it wasn’t until she regained her senses, that she realized, she’d been lying on a bed. Her hand was stuffed beneath a fluffy pillow, and her cheek pressed on top. She was dressed in her clothes. The ones that she wore last night, but she did not remember herself _sleeping_ on a bed. It was rather the arms of the man that she wished he was still there.

Even though she doubted that he was still there, she realized, she had no voices in her mind. She had no screams. Not her demon’s imitation of the voices from people of her past. Nothing. There was silence, and maybe, the soft sound of somebody’s rhythmic breathing. Jocasta turned her head and looked over her shoulder. She had to turn her whole body around, to make sure that she was seeing correctly. Vincent was there. Lying beside her on a double bed. It was probably a room of a motel that he’d booked for a night. He must’ve carried her there. She must have been so exhausted last night, she didn’t notice.

She took a moment to stare at him while he slept. He wasn’t tossing or turning, or mumbling. No flinching, no gasps, no sudden gasping, from nightmares. Nightmares that he couldn’t escape unless she was there. He hadn’t slept in so long. So long, he’d lost the count of nights and days. She too felt refreshed. She hadn’t slept through an entire night in almost two years. She _hated_ that she _needed_ him beside her _should she sleep._ She hated it, because she knew that _that_ was going to be a rare occasion. He _wasn’t_ going to be beside her for the rest of her _eternal_ life because he never really felt _anything_ for her and she _knew it._

And she hated how much this thought _hurt._ It hurt _needing_ him that much. It _hurt_ feeling for him _so much._ And _now_ she couldn’t help but stare. His skin, pale. Whiter than the sheets of the bed. The crimson bandana kept a few of his hair away from his face, but most of them fell over his forehead, messily. Messy dark locks. She wanted to tangle her fingers into them. But she knew she couldn’t do that.

He was still wearing that golden gauntlet on his left hand and she always wondered _why._ But he’d never tell her. He wouldn’t even let her touch that hand. He was covered in his crimson cloak. He’d left the bed sheets for her. He’d left most of the space on the mattress for her. He could scooch in any position _if it meant having her there._ If it meant being able to sleep.

Jocasta had found herself questioning _why._ Why was he there? Why did he hug her last night? Why did he kiss her? But she knew the answer to all these and it _hurt. It hurt._ It hurt because she knew he sought for something that she was giving him _so willingly_ while she knew that she shouldn’t. _Affection._ Physical contact. An opportunity to sleep without nightmares. _Salvation._ She didn’t know that being _used_ would feel so _good_ yet so _painfully_ bad. Lucrecia couldn’t give him any of these, but Jocasta could.

 _No._ She couldn’t keep letting him _use_ her. She couldn’t. She wasn’t a _thing_ she’s a human being with feelings. Emotions that _hurt._ She couldn’t believe that for a small amount of time she actually believed that he actually _felt_ something for her. _So stupid I am._

Jocasta woke up. She picked up whatever was hers and she walked towards the exit of the room. She was going to leave, because _staying_ was a bad idea. Her hand reached for the doorknob, but she stopped when she heard shifting on the bed. She turned around and saw him propped on his one elbow. Crimson eyes found hers and she hated herself because she felt herself lost in them. Jocasta bit her tongue. She wanted to run to him and hug him, and let him know that it was _alright._ That she didn’t mind him _using_ her like that, because she _wanted_ this. She _wanted_ him. She _needed_ him.

But he didn’t. He was never _hers_ and she knew it for so long. She’d been enough patient in the beginning, hoping that someday he would change his mind. But he hadn’t He _hadn’t._ She had to leave. She had to _run_ _away._ Something he had tried so hard to avoid letting happen. He got off then bed and back to his feet, and tried to approach her. So many words lingered on his lips that he couldn’t even begin letting out. He didn’t even know how to let her know that he _hated himself_ for _using_ her. That this -maybe- wasn’t even the case. He made a few steps closer. His hand reached for her face but she turned her head away from him.

“Jocasta, I-”

“No, just- …just stop,” her voice cracked, and she hated that it did. She hated that she was so _weak._

She gritted her teeth trying to suppress that sting on her nose. A sting that let her know that tears had again started gathering in her eyes, and she _hated herself_ that all she wanted to do was _cry._ All she wanted to do was _run away_ because being with him just _hurt so much._ And she _hated herself_ because it was a pain that she was welcoming so _willingly._ It hurt not letting herself feel his fingers, gently stroking her cheek, but she knew it would hurt even more if she did let him touch her. Jocasta just bit her tongue harshly and forced her eyes off of his. She didn’t want to see his face. She didn’t want to see him at all. She knew she had wronged him. She knew she deserved some kind of a _punishment_ but _using her_ wasn’t a punishment. It was _straight up pain._

Jocasta opened the door and rushed out. She _ran_. 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

**Wedding Day, 2 hours before the wedding**

Everything seemed set. Keeping an eye on the preparations was an easy task. Wedding planning _wasn’t._ Hester had gladly accepted to do it, considering she liked decorating, but they had been a few busy days, to get them to the beautiful result of _today._ Hester and Sephiroth just observed the people setting up the decorations. Shera must have called a thousand times, trying to ease that pit in her stomach that was _worry_. She needed everything to be perfect, and Tifa wouldn’t stop telling her that _everything was going to be okay._ She appreciated it, but it didn’t _help._ It was more frustrating _really._

Hester looked at the musicians that set up the harpsichord and the violins that would accompany it. Tifa was going to play the harpsichord, it didn’t differ much from the piano. Then there were the bouquets of green and yellow flowers. The scent of yellow flowers was almost too soothing in her nostrils. Tifa had told her these were Aerith’s flowers, and of course it’d make sense, that she should put them around. The hall was beautiful. Chairs laid on both sides, all decorated beautifully. All in place except that bouquet of flowers that laid in the middle of it all and it looked almost too _annoying_ for Hester’s taste. One of the people grabbed it and pulled it on the side.

“Just a little bit further on the right,” Hester instructed and the man complied immediately. _Much better._ The corners of her lips quirked up in a smile. But then she felt Sephiroth’s eyes on top of her from behind and she grinned. She was sure he had a mischievous smile on his face, and her assumptions were proven correct when she turned and looked at him. She raised an eyebrow “Don’t look at my ass,” 

His eyes finally snapped back at hers. He opened his mouth to speak and he -barely almost stuttered. _Him._ The Great War Hero, Sephiroth, ex-SOLDIER First Class, _stuttering._ What was she doing to him? “I- I was looking at the dress,”

Hester chuckled as she approached him and her hands reached for the collar of his black shirt. The black jacket laid neatly on top of that black tie that she had fixed for him earlier. She was wearing a purple dress that reached just above her knees, with a large schism on her chest where she noticed Sephiroth’s eyes focusing at.

“Enjoying the dress?” Hester asked teasingly as she raised an eyebrow and stared up at him. That black suit suited him more than she could admit.

“I’m having quite a nice view from up here, indeed,” Sephiroth’s lips quirked in a mischievous smirk. His hands slithered around her waist, forcing her body to press against his.

He leaned, dragging his lips over her ear. Wet and slick. Hester shivered. Her hands almost fisted around his jacket and she fought back moan that reached her lips. She smacked his chest to pull him back but his hands were tight around her, and she knew she was too powerless to escape. He laughed against her ear, as he pulled back and looked down at her. She felt so flushed and so ready to _murder_ him. It was so amusing.

She poked a finger on his chest and shot him an _I-will-kill-you_ look “Behave,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ

“I’m freaking out,”

“Jocasta! The bride is freaking out!” Yuffie’s voice came loud from the other room.

Jocasta had just finished getting into that dress that she’d bought with Tifa and Yuffie. She let go of whatever she was planning to wrap her hair with, and rushed back into the room next door. It was Tifa’s room, on top of Seventh Heaven. Tifa had offered to host Shera for the night before the wedding, since the groom and the bride should stay apart. Yuffie was sitting on Tifa’s bed, picking her nose, dressed in her short green dress. Almost too short but _well_ she had chosen it and Tifa wasn’t one to object.

Marlene and Denzel were ready, waiting by another room. Tifa was dressed in a red, long gown with a schism on the side, and over the cleavage that complimented the curves of her body. She had picked her hair back in a red flower and she wore red high heels.

But Shera was _indeed_ freaking out. Or maybe it was the heat that gathered beneath all those layers of white fabric that made it more difficult to breathe.

“What if he doesn’t show up?!” Shera asked worriedly and Jocasta rolled her eyes.

“You’ll live a life of unconditional freedom,” Jocasta answered as she crossed her hands against her chest. Yuffie laughed at that and Tifa shot her a deadly look.

“I DON’T WANT FREEDOM, I WANT CID!”

“Ssh sshh sshhh! Relax! Of course, he’s gonna show up,” Tifa caressed her back comfortingly “You know Cid. He’d never leave you at the altar,”

“It’s because I know Cid that I’m worried!” Shera sank back on a chair and threw her head back.

“Oh c’mon, you two have been together ever since high school,” Yuffie groaned irritatingly.

“Exactly!”

Jocasta groaned as she approached Shera and cupped her face with both hands making sure she had her whole attention “Listen to me, you’re gonna walk down that aisle, your gonna speak those goddamn vows, and you two are gonna live your _happily ever after_ , okay?!”

Jocasta had tried her best to act _less grumpily_ than she usually did during weddings. She never got the idea of marriage. Why would anybody want to get married? To show their love? To bind themselves together? Sure, marriage never stopped _divorces._ But why would anybody want to be bound to someone?

Maybe _-once upon a time-_ she was willing to do it. But things back then were different. She had no parents, her sister was never really around, and all that she had back then was her work. A woman without husband was considered a lot of things back in the day and maybe it was a couple of reasons -besides feelings- that had made her give the positive answer when Tedric knelt in front of her and asked her to marry him. But that was _then_ and now was _now._ The times were different and so many things had changed.

Besides these thoughts, Jocasta knew that she would be more than _willing_ to be _bound_ to Vincent. But she already felt _bound_ to him and maybe that was why she hated the idea of marriage. Because she _wanted it_ and she knew that she was never going to get it.

Shera nodded “Okay,”

Jocasta looked at the time by the watch around her wrist and she sighed Costa del Sol was a two-hour ride and they needed to get going. Jocasta had yet to fix her hair but _fuck it, I’mma fix them in the car._

“We gotta go,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ

**40 Minutes Before the Wedding**

He heard banging on his door. _Loud_ banging. He’d slept on his bed alone this time, since Tifa had agreed to host Shera for the night back to Edge, and he’d taken all the advantage of sleeping in the entirety of the double bed that he and Shera had been sharing for a while.

The banging on his door insisted and it was getting more and more annoying. He groaned, and mumbled a couple of curses as he buried his head beneath his pillow, trying to muffle the sound of _whoever asshole_ was banging on his door. He didn’t want to wake up _today._ Or maybe, he’d even forgotten what day it was.

“Yo, Cid! Open up, man!” Barret’s voice came from outside. He, with Cloud and Vincent were waiting outside.

Barret was dressed in the largest suit that Tifa could find for him. Cloud had to admit, he wasn’t used to wearing a suit. He had let Tifa to take care of his black tie. It had been almost too long since the last time either of them were dressed formally. For once, Vincent thought it was best to _honor_ the day by wearing actual clothes, excluding a demon’s cloak.

He was wearing a crimson shirt, a black tie, and black pants and jacket on top. He had picked back his hair and only a few locks -that he couldn’t keep restrained- were falling on his face. He wasn’t wearing the gauntlet, and instead, he wore a black leather glove over the left _deceased_ arm, while he just let the other gloveless.

Both Barret and Cloud looked surprised at the different outfit. He was surprising himself, but he’d never let himself go to a wedding dressed anything less. Even though, he knew he shouldn’t bring any weapons during a wedding, he just couldn’t help bringing a gun that he’d fit in a case beneath his jacket. It reminded him of the times that he’d wear suits, with guns fitted everywhere during the days that he worked as a Turk.

“Fuck!” Barret let out a curse and he turned at the other two, who were too waiting for Cid to wake up and let them in.

Vincent sighed as he drew out his gun, from beneath his jacket, and he shot at the doorknob, knocking the door open.

“Shit, man!” Barret cried out, surprised as he made a step away from the door. The bullet had barely missed him.

“Vincent, what the hell?!” Cloud asked.

Vincent placed his gun back in its case beneath his jacket and he walked inside the room. A loud curse came from inside, and that loud snoring stopped. Cid jumped from his bed at the deafening sound of a shot, and he sat knelt on the mattress looking at the three who entered from his ruined door.

“Did you just fuckin’ shoot my goddamn door, you fuckin’ dipshit?!” Cid cried out as he threw a pillow over to Vincent.

Vincent bowed and the pillow missed him and landed on Barret’s face who was standing behind him. Barret groaned “Hey!”

Vincent ignored him and he looked at the watch that he’d tied around wrist of the right hand “Your wedding’s in 39 minutes. If you want to make it there on time, I suggest you start by shaving,”

Cid scratched his blonde hair, taking a moment to process the fact that _today was his wedding._ “My… wedding?”

Vincent shot him a deadly look and Barret walked forwards “Don’t tell me ya fuckin’ forgot that today’s your goddamn wedding?!”

“It’s… TODAY?!” Cid’s eyes widened. His hands fisted around his bed sheets and he jumped off his bed and hurried over his bathroom.

Cloud scoffed “Unbelievable,” he rested his hands by his waist.

“If Shera finds out you forgot your wedding, she’s gonna whoop your ass real hard, ya know that?!” Barret asked loudly so that Cid would hear him from the other side of the door that led to the bathroom.

“I ‘uckin know it yo’ _dth_ ackass,” Cid hurried back in the room with his toothbrush stuffed in his mouth. He hurried over his closet, grabbing clothes, and tossing them on the back till he grabbed the suit that he was going to wear for his wedding.

Vincent frowned at the pile of clothes that Cid had thrown out and deserted on the floor. Shera was not going to appreciate the sight when she’d get there in the night. _Thankfully_ it would be dark enough for her not to see them. Cid hurried with the suit back in his bathroom and the other three waited for a few minutes before he walked out dressed and ready.

“Cid, you forgot to shave,” Cloud pointed out.

“Oh, for fuck’s fuckin’ sake!” Cid touched his cheeks. Rougher and hairier than the _ass of a Chocobo._

Vincent looked at his watch. He frowned.

**25 Minutes Before the Wedding**

“No time for shaving. We gotta get going,” Vincent said and he wrapped Cid’s hand, dragging him out of his room and eventually out of the house with the other two following closely behind.

They would normally ride their way to the wedding on Barret’s car but he had lent that to the bride and Tifa, Jocasta, Yuffie and the kids. So, Cid led them to his garage and he sat on the driver’s seat of his own car ignoring the objections that came from the others that offered to drive.

“No one fuckin’ touches ma baby!”

Which wasn’t really an _impressive_ car. It looked like one from the _medieval_ era, _literally._ He had been working on keeping it functional for quite a few months. It was so _old_ Vincent didn’t remember such cars even back in his days. He was sitting on the passenger’s seat beside Cid, and the other two had settled on the back, grasping on the seats and the doors. Cid wasn’t driving dangerously. He was driving just fine, but the car didn’t really seem to able to handle such a journey. _Thank Holy,_ Costa del Sol wasn’t as far from Rocket Town as it was from Edge.

“Yo, Cid, you sure this donkey can get us there?” Barret’s voice came from the back seat, and Cid eyed him from the mirror.

“Did ya fuckin’ call my great-grandpappy’s car a freakin’ donkey?!”

Vincent fought the urge to roll his eyes, and he heard Cloud huffing irritatingly from the seat behind him.

“This is your great-grandpa’s?!” Barret exclaimed, panicked. His eyes widened as he braced himself on the seats.

“Could tell,” Cloud commented and Vincent chuckled as silently as he could. He hated that he didn’t have the collar of his cloak to hide his smile behind it.

“Fuckin’ assholes! This car is a freakin’ heirloom of the Highwind family! It was the sweetest fuckin’ ride in Rocket Town for thirty fuckin’ years!” Cid exclaimed angrily and the others laughed doubtingly. “Y’all fuckers don’t believe me, do ya?! Alright then, lemme tell you the goddamn story of that car. It all started with a game called ‘seven seconds’…”

Vincent noticed Cid had been paying way more attention at the two on the backseats than he’d been paying on the road. When he noticed they were about to crash with another car -because they had drifted on the other lane- his hand reached for the wheel -which Cid had let go off completely without even noticing- and he turned the car to get back to their lane.

“…and that’s how great-grandpa bought a car in seven fuckin’ seconds,” Cid said and he finally turned his attention on the steering wheel of his car. He noticed Vincent’s hand on it. He’d been driving it while he spoke. But he slapped Vincent’s hand away “What’re you fuckin’ doing touchin’ ma baby?! Did ya know great-grandpa drove to his wedding on that car?”

Vincent didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or punch Cid right in the face and tell him to _fucking_ focus. Vincent just fought back a smile that had started to form across his pale lips and he just pulled his hand away “Right,”


	76. A Wedding, A Disaster Pt. 2

Jocasta fought the urge to get off that car and _walk_ her way to Costa del Sol. They had just gotten off the ferry and she drove the car off the boat. She entered the highway that would lead them straight to their destination. She hadn’t driven in a while. She had almost forgotten how to do it, but Tifa was too busy comforting Shera on the back seats with the kids, and she’d be _damned_ if she ever trusted Yuffie to handle a car. The young Wutaian had settled her one foot lazily on top of the shelf that stored the airbags.

“Yuffie, sit straight and put on your belt. I will not say this again,” Jocasta growled at the oblivious ninja.

“C'mon, dramaqueen! Always being such a grump!” Yuffie groaned as she sank further into the passenger’s seat.

“Yuffie! Quit being a dumb kid and listen to your elders!” Tifa’s voice came from the backseat.

Yuffie laughed “Well, dramaqueen _is_ old-” but she was cut by a hit on her stomach that came from Jocasta’s elbow. It was powerful enough to knock her breath out. Yuffie coughed and winced loudly. She sat properly on her seat and her hands reached for the belt “Okay! Okay! Alright! Jeez, dramaqueen!” she buckled up “That hurt!” she protested.

“So does my punch. You don’t wanna taste it on your face, do you?” Jocasta shot back.

And then Tifa’s voice came warningly from the back “Joe!”

Jocasta drew in a deep, shaky breath, to calm down her nerves and she tried to focus on _driving._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ

Vincent didn’t know how in the _world_ it had happened. He just knew that it had and he groaned irritatingly, rubbing his forehead. _Actually,_ he knew _how_. From the moment he laid foot on that car, he knew it was going to pull out a malfunction halfway to Costa del Sol. Cid said the engine had overheated. He waited for it to cool down before he opened the front and started checking on possible solutions.

Vincent had almost gotten used to listening to Cid’s senseless cursing while he pulled out things with the help of screwdrivers and tools that he had always stored in a case on the trunk. He watched Cid as he took off his jacket and sprawled it on the pavement. He lied down on his back, with multiple curses hanging from his lips, and he dragged himself beneath the car. Vincent almost cringed.

“You’re gonna ruin the suit, Cid,” Vincent said.

“Fuck the goddamn suit!”

“Vamps’ right! Get the hell up,” Barret nodded.

“I could try and fix it, with a few instructions,” Cloud suggested.

“Y’all shut up! Nobody fuckin’ touches her except me! Not ma goddamn fault I’m the only fuckin’ engineer here!”

They all just sighed and waited for Cid’s instructions on the tools that he’d ask them to hand over. The sun was high and hot in the sky. The lands around the road were barren and dry. It was no surprise. It was July. Vincent could already feel the sweat running down his back and gritted his teeth, holding back a groan of irritation. The heat wasn’t irritating because he didn’t feel the temperature as tensely as the other three did, but _he was ruining the brand-new suit._

He took off his jacket and tossed it on his seat through the open window. Barret and Cloud had already taken off theirs and they had rolled their sleeves up their elbows. He couldn’t have imagined they’d end up stuck in the middle of nowhere, with Cid, _the groom,_ lying on the pavement, fixing a _sixty-year-old_ car, with the heat of July hitting right on top of their heads, and a wedding happening in- Vincent checked the watch around his wrist and his eyes widened. Five minutes.

 _Five minutes._ He had to repeat that inside his head to get the sense of the situation’s urgency. _Five minutes._ They sure _as hell_ weren’t going to make it on time.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ

 _This couldn’t be happening._ No, it certainly couldn’t. Everything was on position. All guests had arrived. Friends and family of Shera’s and Cid’s had already gathered in their seats. The musicians were waiting to play, but Tifa wasn’t there. The bride wasn’t there. The groom and best man weren’t there while they already should be, and Hester was _freaking out._ She had tried her best to make everything _perfect_ for her friends’ wedding _and they weren’t even there_ and she pacing around. Sephiroth was just staring at her, trying to figure something out. He had been calling _his father_ but he didn’t seem to pick up, and Hester had been calling _her mother_ who didn’t seem to pick up either.

“Don’t stare at me with that worried expression, Seph, it’s not helping,” Hester said as she continued pacing around, peeking at the audience that waited, and mumbled to each other.

Sephiroth noticed he hadn’t even been staring at her. He was just focusing his attention on the red carpet beneath his feet, but he knew Hester was nervous, so he just played along “Right. Sorry,”

“Where the hell are they?!” Hester snapped as she stopped pacing for a moment.

Sephiroth shrugged. He flipped his phone open “Should I call again?”

Hester sighed and she nodded “I’ll give it a shot too,” she flipped her phone open, and dialed the same number. And when she heard a response, her eyes widened “Mom! Where the hell are you?!”

“Right here,” A voice came from the entrance of the building and Hester let out the loudest sigh she’d ever let. She ended the call and she turned at Jocasta, Tifa, Shera and the kids.

“Calming down the bride wasn’t an easy task, you know,” Tifa said “Are the musicians all set?”

“Harpsichord’s waiting for a player,” Sephiroth informed her.

Tifa nodded “Right,” her hand reached for Marlene’s “Marlene, Denzel, let’s go, darlings,” Tifa guided the kids in the hall with the rest of the crowd.

“I’mma go do something less boring, y’all,” Yuffie announced before she vanished in the hall as well. Jocasta cringed, hoping that the ninja wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Jocasta turned at Hester and Sephiroth “How’s Cid?”

Hester and Sephiroth looked at each other for a moment, trying to figure out if telling the truth would be better than telling a lie. They both obviously reached different decisions.

“He’s not even here,”

“All great!”

It came in unison and Sephiroth received a smack on his shoulder and a deadly look from Hester. "What? She’s the bride! She needs to know,” Sephiroth said defensibly.

“No, she doesn’t!” Hester insisted as she turned and watched Jocasta patting on Shera’s shoulders and giving her encouraging words.

“I knew he wasn’t going to show up!” Shera buried her face in Jocasta’s shoulder and began a loud crying and sobbing over Jocasta’s ears.

Jocasta looked at the other two who cringed as they looked at her direction and she just kept patting Shera’s back. “Hey, he’s gonna be here. Just give him more time. Something must’ve happened that must have kept them busy,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ

“I never fuckin’ believed I’d be fixin’ this piece of shit ON THE DAY OF MY GODDAMN WEDDING!”

Vincent cringed as Cid’s loud voice reached his ears. He was still lying beneath the car with his back on the pavement. He must’ve ruined both the jacket and the _white_ shirt beneath. _White shirt. On top of a BLACK pavement._ Vincent had to rub his temples to ease the ache on his forehead. He wasn’t sure if it was caused by the sun’s heat, or the fact that they all _wore new suits_ and they were _ruining them_ and most of all Cid. The _groom!_ Vincent knew he was probably failing as a best man.

“Relax, man, I think they can wait for ten minutes or somethin’,” Barret said, scratching his nape and taking off his sunglasses for a brief moment.

Cid finally slipped away from the car and Cloud grabbed his hand to help him get back on his feet. Cid groaned and threw a screwdriver by the case of tools that Barret had rested on the pavement. The back of his palm reached for his forehead, wiping the sweat that gathered there.

He had taken off both his tie and his jacket. His face was almost black, covered in oil and grease. Not to mention his shirt on the front, that was covered in some huge oily stamps. And then he turned his back at Vincent, as Cid turned to grab his jacket from Barret’s hands, and that’s where Vincent saw the texture of Cid’s back, stamped on the back of his shirt with the blackness of the pavement on the white shirt.

 _You’ve been through so much worse things, keep it together._ Vincent reminded himself.

“We ain’t gettin’ fuckin’ nowhere,” Cid said as he took out his handkerchief and wiped the grease from his hands and his face. _Oh no._

“What the hell do you mean?!” Barret asked.

“You sure you can’t fix it?” Cloud asked.

“No, no of course, I can, I’m just messing with y’all- OF COURSE I CAN’T FUCKIN’ FIX IT! You think I wouldn’t have already if I could?!” Cid cried out angrily and Cloud raised his hands surrender making a step back.

“Can’t we just push it or somethin’?” Barret suggested.

“No! We push it, the engine switches on, it fuckin’ explodes!” Cid cried out angrily.

“Fuck that!” Barret said.

“Vincent, how late are we?” Cloud asked.

Vincent checked on his watch and sighed heavily “Thirty-five minutes late,”

Cid kicked the pavement “Fuckin' terrific!”

“What do we do now?!” Barret asked.

“Do I look like I fuckin’ know?!” Cid cried out angrily and Vincent approached him and patted a hand on his shoulder.

“We stop the next car passing. Hope we get a ride,” Vincent suggested.

“I don’t know about you, but I didn’t fuckin’ see a car passing this road ever since we fuckin’ pulled over!” Barret reasoned. His hand reached for his pocket, grabbing his phone. He flipped it open “I’mma call Tifa,”

 _Of course. Phones!_ Vincent had almost forgot he had a phone in the pocket of his jacket. He had tossed that jacket on his seat in the car. He hurried over the car. He grabbed the jacket and pulled it out from the opened window. He noticed his phone was buzzing from the pocket of his jacket.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Jocasta hated that she was the only one who just _had_ to call Vincent. Of all the four of them, he was still the only one that she knew she could reason with. Cid wasn’t answering, Barret was busy, and Cloud wasn’t answering _either._ The last choice was Vincent and she just _hated_ that she was the one who had to do it.

_“Yes,”_

Jocasta’s eyes snapped wide notifying Hester, Sephiroth and Shera that _finally_ somebody answered the phone. “Where the hell are you?! The wedding was supposed to start forty minutes ago! Shera’s freaking out!”

_“Cid’s ‘incredible’ car malfunctioned. We’re stuck on the highway,”_

There was a tune of _sarcasm_ in Vincent’s voice and Jocasta tried to ignore the fact that he was possibly _amused_ by all this _mess._ She just turned at the other three who were waiting impatiently to find out _what’s been going on._

“Car malfunctioned. Cid’s tryna fix it,” Jocasta informed them and she expected Shera to let out a sigh of relief and _relax._ But _no,_ Shera’s eyes widened and her face wrinkled in a furious expression.

“WHAT?! He’s bringing THAT junk to MY WEDDING?!” Shera cried out and Jocasta was sure that even the guests had heard her from the other side of the wall. She rushed towards Jocasta, stepping on her dress with her low heels. She tucked her glasses further up her nose and she snatched Jocasta’s phone from her hands and pressed it on her ear. “Vincent, would you mind handing the phone over to MY SOON TO BECOME A DEAD HUSBAND?!”

Jocasta, Sephiroth and Hester just watched Shera scolding at Cid through the phone. They even cringed at what she was telling him, but mainly, they just _enjoyed the show._ Then Jocasta noticed Tifa hurrying towards them with Reeve and Nanaki. Tifa was holding her phone by her ear and Reeve had his fingers tight around his car keys.

“We’ll go get them,” Nanaki announced as he exited the building first and Reeve stopped by the others.

“Try to calm down the people, will you?” Reeve said before he followed Nanaki out of the building.

“They’re on their way,” Tifa informed Barret from the other side of the line, before she flipped her phone closed. She turned at the others and tried to inform them of the situation “Guys! Cid’s car-” but then she cut herself when she noticed Shera scolding at somebody through Jocasta’s phone and from the sounds of it, it must’ve been Cid. “Oh,”

“Yeah, we know,” Jocasta said.

“How do we calm down the people?!” Hester asked nervously “I’m not good with public speeches!”

“I am,” Sephiroth offered, which wasn’t true, but he’d been good with encouraging the WRO’s newest recruits. _How much different can it be?_

“Aw, you’re not, Sephy,” Hester hand found his chest as she looked up at him.

 _Thank Holy,_ she knew that. He didn’t really want to go out there and talk to a couple of people that he knew nothing about. Once again, she was reminding him how well she knew him. He sighed. He’d always been the silent one. _Speaking_ and _interacting_ with people was never really his _forte._

“I’m not,”

“No need for a speech,” Jocasta said and she turned at Tifa “How about you play something on the harpsichord, Tifa? That should keep them busy,”

Tifa nodded “Good idea!” she turned around and hurried back in the large hall filled with people, already too tired of waiting.

Jocasta, Sephiroth and Hester turned their attention back at Shera who was still scolding at Cid through the phone. “…YOU’LL BE LUCKY TO EVEN FIND ME HERE, YOU FUCKIN’ JACKASS- OH?! Really?! Don’t make me drag you back in the basement…”

“What’s happening in that basement?” Hester asked leaning over to Sephiroth.

“I have a feeling we don’t wanna know,” Sephiroth answered.

“Nope, you don’t,” Jocasta added.

“…just so you wait till you see what I’mma do to your ass tonight! You won’t be able to sit straight FOR A YEAR when I’m done spanking you with the-”

“Somebody, get that phone off her hands!” Jocasta cried out and Sephiroth acted quickly, grabbing the phone off her hands and ending the call.

Jocasta let out a breath of relief. She definitely didn’t want Shera talking about these in front of her _children._ She knew that they were grown-ups but _still._ Though, Shera looked way more relaxed as she turned at the other three and gave them all a wide smile. Jocasta settled her phone back in her bag and she turned at Shera.

“You doing okay, honey?” Jocasta asked worriedly.

Shera shrugged. All the tension seemed to have just disappeared from her shoulders and her face “Never been better, Joe. Don’t mind me, it’s just things that I wanted to take out on him five years now, and now’s the perfect chance,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Alright y’all, Reeve and Red are comin’ here to get us,” Barret informed the other three who let out sighs of relief, except for maybe Cid. He looked down at the stains on his shirt and his hands. He turned at Vincent.

“I look like shit, don’t I?” Cid asked.

“Yes,” Vincent nodded and Cid groaned.

“Fuck! Shera’s so gonna kill me, y’all need to protect me from that woman, please!” Cid cried out as he paced around for a couple of times.

“Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you’re afraid of her!” Barret laughed.

“It’s not funny! You’ve no idea what this woman’s capable of! She’s gonna whoop ma ass so hard- I CAN’T GO TO MY WEDDING!” Cid finally burst out. Eyes wide, hands almost shaking as he tried to get back into his car, and turn the engine on and start driving away, but the engine _didn’t_ turn on no matter how many times he turned the key. The other three just stared at him cursing and punching the steering wheel of the car that _wouldn’t help him escape._

Vincent looked over at Barret and Cloud. Barret was trying his best to muffle his laughter, and Cloud was rubbing his aching forehead. Vincent walked towards Cid and he crossed his hands against his chest when Cid _finally_ stopped cursing and kicking the car.

“Are you done?” Vincent asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” Cid gave a final kick over the pedals and he let out a shaky breath “Now I’m done,”

“Good…” Vincent turned at the other two “…Cloud, take off your shirt and hand it over to Cid. You can’t go to your wedding dressed like this,”

Cloud nodded and he loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. Cid shot a deadly look at Vincent “Fuck off! I ain’t goin’ to no weddin’. I need to leave! Go somewhere far where Shera can’t fuckin’ find me! Yes! I gotta go build another rocket! I’m leavin’ Gaia! Bye, y’all!” Cid tried to get up and start running away, but Vincent’s hands pushed him back down on the driver’s seat. “What the fuck, Vinnie?!”

“Are you even listening to yourself?” Vincent raised an eyebrow.

“Of course, I fuckin’ do! And I sound pretty fuckin’ logical-!” Cid tried to say but Vincent cut him.

“Cid,” Vincent placed a hand by the roof of the car and he leaned closer to the cranky captain “You’re a Highwind. What would your great-grandpa think of you if he saw you now?”

“Fuck that coward! Have I told you the story of how his wife turned his ass into a freakin’ Oglop?!” Cid asked.

Vincent pursed his lips and fought the urge to roll his eyes “You and Shera have the chance to share a life with each other. It’s a chance that comes only once and if you don’t grasp it while you still have it, you’ll lose it forever,”

Cid stared at him for a moment. He knew that Vincent was talking about _Lucrecia._ She was his own _chance_ back then, but she was taken from him and _now_ he had Jocasta, and these two just kept hurting each other. Vincent knew he once had the chance to be with Jocasta, but it was the _second_ chance that he’d missed. He wasn’t there for her when she needed him. He was so much absorbed in his own _self-loathing._ In his guilt for _leaving_ Lucrecia and Sephiroth alone all those years, unprotected under the hands of the cursed scientist. And all these just kept him away from the woman that he’d felt so much about, and he had hurt her, and she had hurt him, and it was a circle that just kept going on _and on, and on._ At least, Cid had his road to _happiness_ set since the very beginning. He got Vincent’s point right away.

Cid nodded. He started unbuttoning his shirt “You’re right. I’m a freakin’ Highwind, GODDAMMIT! I fear no woman!”

“Hell yeah!” Barret cheered for him and Cloud handed him his shirt.

By the time a familiar car pulled over, Cid was dressed into the clear shirt, and Cloud was dressed into the oil-stained one. Vincent helped Cid with his tie, and Barret helped Cloud with his. Reeve was sitting on the driver’s seat, and Nanaki had settled on the passenger’s seat, with his flaming tail perking around.

“Hop in,”

“Finally, a car that I can fit in!” Barret cried out before the tried to enter in and scooch in with all the other three of them in the backseats.

“Wait!” Cid stopped them and he pointed a thumb on his car behind him “Do you think you could drag my baby with ya?” 


	77. A Wedding, A Disaster Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter: 'Wedding Preparations' by John Debney and David Newman

“Do you think I should just abandon him at the altar?” Shera asked as she tried muffle her laughter.

Yuffie let out a loud laugh and she gave Shera a friendly hit with her elbow “There’s a whole lotta hot boys on the beach if ya wanna go exploring,” she suggested and Shera laughed.

“No, and no,” Jocasta pointed at both of them who had settled on two chairs outside of the hall. The noise of Tifa playing the harpsichord came from the hall. It was keeping the guests amused for _now_ but Jocasta didn’t know how long Tifa could play. “No _exploring hot boys on the beach_ for you, young lady, and no leaving your husband at the altar,”

“He nearly left me!” Shera protested.

“He didn’t. There was the car problem. Now, calm down, and try not to scary him too much,” Jocasta said.

Yuffie laughed “Oh man! What wouldn’t I give to have the old man running and shouting for help,”

“I could record it for you if you want,” Shera said and they both laughed amusingly. Jocasta rolled her eyes and shook her head. _Kids._

Jocasta looked around, realizing that Sephiroth and Hester weren’t there. She began to wonder where they might’ve been, but then she noticed Cloud, Barret, Reeve and Nanaki rushing into the building.

“Guys!” Jocasta turned at Cloud and Barret. Cloud was wearing a pretty _dirty_ shirt, and he had a pretty messily knotted tie. Jocasta untied it and started fixing it, making a neat knot. She pulled back his black jacket and revealed the oily stains on the shirt that Cloud was wearing.

“What happened to your shirt?” Yuffie asked.

“That’s Cid’s shirt,” Cloud explained.

“No wonder it's bigger,” Shera commented and then she pointed a thumb at the entrance of the hall “Is he there?”

Reeve nodded “Yup, the groom and the best man are in position,”

“We’ll go grab our seats,” Nanaki said. Reeve, Cloud, Barret and Nanaki set off to enter the hall.

“Perfect!” A voice came from behind and Sephiroth with Hester rushed towards the bride, the maid of honor, and Yuffie. Hester was fixing Sephiroth’s tie which had _loosened for obvious reasons_ and Yuffie raised an eyebrow.

“What have you two been up to?” Yuffie asked with a mischievous smile on her lips and Hester with Sephiroth both chose to ignore answering that question.

“Shut up, kid, and go tell Tifa to prepare the musicians!” Hester said and Yuffie hurried right away. “Alright, you two start walking down that aisle on my mark, okay?” Hester said looking over at the bride and the maid of honor.

Shera and Jocasta nodded and Hester with Sephiroth entered the hall as well. Jocasta turned at Shera, who seemed nervous. She wasn’t _that_ nervous before. Her fingers were messing with the fabric of her white dress as she stared at the entrance of the hall where she knew that everybody was waiting for her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jocasta asked as she passed a hand around Shera’s shoulders.

“You know… when you said earlier that I’ll have _a life of freedom_ if I don’t get married… You weren’t wrong,” Shera said “Being bound to someone comes with responsibility. You know?”

Jocasta sighed “It does.”

“You were married, weren’t you?” Shera asked.

The smile on Jocasta’s face faded right away “I was going to, but he was taken from me. And now…” Jocasta turned and looked over the entrance to the room where she knew Vincent was “…I don’t think I’ll ever get that chance again. Maybe that’s why I said that. I often hate things I don’t have,” she admitted and then she turned her attention back at Shera.

 _Sure_ , thirty years _now_ she was free, but not once did she feel the _happiness_ that she felt when she was with Vincent. And even though she knew, it was a feeling that she wouldn’t be getting, because _he_ would never be with her, she just let it _hurt_ the way that it did. She just _let it._ There were just emotions that she couldn’t change and she knew she had to accept them.

“But what to do with _freedom_ if you’re not happy?” Jocasta asked and she noticed the nervousness disappearing from Shera’s face, and being replaced with a troubled, considerate expression. “Cid makes you happy no matter how much of an annoying, stupid asshole he can be,” Jocasta said and Shera laughed. Jocasta chuckled “C’mon, you know he’s lost without you,”

“And I’m lost without him too,” Shera admitted.

“Then what are we doing? Let’s go!” Jocasta grabbed her hand and dragged her over the entrance. Shera laughed and she turned at Jocasta who gave her a smile “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Shera nodded.

Finally, the two of them pushed the curtains out of the way and entered the hall. Marlene and Denzel were waiting there. Marlene was holding a bouquet of yellow flowers from her one hand and she handed it over to Shera. Her little hands grabbed hold on Shera’s dress. Jocasta took Denzel’s hand, and her other hand held onto Shera’s as she guided her down the aisle.

Shera had asked her to do that, because her parents had _joined the planet_ long ago and she didn’t have anybody else to do it. Jocasta had gladly accepted. She slipped her gaze all around them. There were so many people. Mostly mechanics from Rocket Town that used to work with Cid and Shera. Cid’s family was spread around, and the members of the team were on the front seats.

Cid was standing with the widest smile that Jocasta had ever seen on his face. The soft music of Tifa accompanying the string ensemble, reached their ears. Cid was indeed wearing a much smaller shirt, _Cloud’s shirt._ It looked quite uncomfortable and the buttons were almost ready to pop open. He had tried his best to clean himself up.

 _Thank Holy,_ Vincent was always on his side to help him and give him the encouragement that he needed. He knew he’d always be grateful to _Vinnie_ because he was indeed the one who kept him there. And _now_ he was staring at the most beautiful woman in the world. Her nerdy, circular glasses, rested neatly on top of her nose. Her hair was picked up. Her makeup only made her even more _gorgeous_ that he’d ever seen her, because Shera never used any makeup at all. It wasn’t of any use while working in the workshops, sliding beneath machines, and getting her hands dirty in the rockets. They were both rocket scientists. They were both engineers. He’d never realized it till _now_ that he was the luckiest man in the world.

Vincent was beside him. He had to admit that he was _nervous._ There were a couple of people staring at him and he was _too grateful_ for changing his mind in the last minute, and actually deciding to wear normal clothes. But his eyes just _stopped_ focusing on the other people, and he found Jocasta, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes rest on her. She was just _so beautiful._ She was wearing a dark blue boho style dress. The sleeves reached over her elbows. There was a v-opening on the chest that exposed some of her cleavage and an open back exposing her white skin. Her hair was picked back into a braid gathered into a bun. Some of them fell onto her face. So simple _yet so perfect._ The most beautiful thing on top of her was her _smile_.

But when her eyes met him at the far end of the aisle, she felt her smile fading, but not in a bad way. Vincent was wearing that crimson shirt beneath the black tie and black jacket. He’d gathered his hair back, except for a few locks that fell beautifully on his pale face. He almost reminded her the man that she’d spent so many months with, back when he was still hers and her sister’s bodyguard. Only _now_ he was… _bigger._ Jocasta knew she had that stupid smile on her face and she was probably staring at him like a _lovestruck_ idiot. _Well… I certainly am one._

She felt Denzel pulling on her hand, urging her to snap out of it. She realized they had finally reached the end of the aisle. She snapped her eyes off of Vincent. She watched Denzel and Marlene settling on two seats that Cloud and Tifa had saved between them. Tifa had let go of the harpsichord and she was _now_ sitting beside Marlene. Barret was sitting beside Cloud. Hester and Sephiroth were sitting on the other side of the seats, with Reeve, Nanaki and Yuffie. There was a blank seat waiting for the maid of honor.

Jocasta guided Shera’s hand over to Cid’s and she patted a hand on Cid’s shoulder before she leaned in and whispered “Hurt her, and I’ll become your worst nightmare, old man,”

“A Highwind’s wife is treated no less than a princess, Joe,” Cid said. He had the widest smile that she’d ever seen on his lips. Jocasta tried not to laugh at the fact that he was unshaved and she grinned as she sat back on her seat, beside Sephiroth. Shera choke back a laugh and Cid shot her a confused look “What?”

Vincent cleared his throat, loud enough to draw both their attention, before he peeked at the cards that he was holding in his hands.

“Dearly Beloved, we’re gathered here today, to join this couple under the inevitable bond of the Holy Matrimony. We, Cid Highwind and Shera of Rocket Town, are delighted to be able and make our vows on this great day, and to become husband and wife through the Planet’s blessing…”

“…We swear before Holy, to love and respect each other forever and to strive to bring our family prosperity. Moreover, we swear never to veer from the true path of the Holy Matrimony, and to work to share the divine grace of Holy by helping people and society…”

Vincent changed cards, and he turned at Cid “Do you, Cid Highwind of the-” _glorious Highwind dynasty…?_ Vincent had to reread that part. He knew it was a bad idea to let Cid write down the vows. _I’m not saying that_ “…of Rocket Town…” he corrected it and Cid shot him a look that Vincent chose to ignore “…do you accept to take Shera as your wife? Do you promise to care for her in sickness and in health, and stand by her side in every step of the way?”

“I fuckin’ do!”

Vincent turned at Shera “And do you, Shera of Rocket Town, accept to take Cid Highwind as your husband? Do you promise to care for him in sickness and in health, and stand by his side in every step of the way?”

“I do,” Shera said with a wide smile on her lips.

Vincent turned at Cid “You may now kiss the bride,” He said.

And he did. Cid’s hands slithered around Shera’s waist as he brought her closer and finally pressed their lips together. The audience cheered and clapped. The loudest ones were, _of course,_ the Highwinds. Vincent was putting a lot of effort to hold back his smile, but he eventually gave in. He couldn’t help it. His _best friend_ had finally touched his _happiness._

When they pulled back, Shera laughed amusingly as her hands slipped over the collar of his shirt, and then further up his rough, unshaved cheek “You smell like our garage,”

“Don’t pretend like it’s not the most goddamn sexy smell you’ve ever smelled, Shera,” Cid grinned as he grabbed her hand and the two of them rushed out of the hall and eventually out of the building with the numerous people following from behind.

Cid hurried over his car, that was still tied onto Reeve’s and he set over to open the door and let Shera in. But when he opened the door, it felt much heavier than he expected, and then he realized that the entire door got detached from the rest of the car. The hard metal hit on the pavement and Cid’s eyes widened.

“Fuck!” He cried out receiving a smack on his shoulder from Shera reminding him that there were children present.

“I ain’t getting into that thing,”

“Darn right,”

“I’ll give you guys a ride,” Reeve offered.

Cid and Shera settled on Reeve’s car with Nanaki. Hester and Sephiroth were going to use Sephiroth’s motorcycle. Barret, Cloud, Marlene, Denzel, Tifa and Yuffie used Barret’s car, and somebody had to hold the steering wheel of Cid’s car while Reeve dragged it with his own. Vincent offered. He got into the tiny, rusty, old car with a little bit of effort, and Cid helped put back that door that he’d pulled off.

Jocasta got in the passenger’s seat beside Vincent and she noticed Vincent giving her a strange look. He wasn’t expecting her to come with him considering that _things were still weird_ between them. He could only guess that she’d try her best to just _stay away._ He still remembered that morning when she had just _run away._ She hadn’t even let him cup her cheek and he didn’t know why that _hurt._ But it did. She had asked him to _stop. Stop using her._ Was she still thinking that he was _using_ her?

“What?” Jocasta asked as she noticed the questionable, confused look on Vincent’s face as he turned and looked at her. He had one hand by the steering wheel, keeping the car straight while Reeve dragged it with his own. “I don’t fit in any other car. Reeve’s got Nanaki, Cid and Shera, and Barret’s got Tifa, Cloud, Marlene, Denzel and Yuffie,” which was a _shitty_ excuse considering that she could just _scooch_ between Cid and Shera.

But she couldn’t _leave_ Vincent alone into a _freaking_ malfunctional car. She just _couldn’t._ It wasn’t safe. She knew she wasn’t making things any safer by being there, but at least, she knew first hand if Vincent was okay or not. She hated it, but she _loved_ him even though he _didn’t._

Vincent nodded “Right,” He turned his attention back on the road. His left hand grabbed hold on the steering wheel with his elbow resting by the window, while the other rested by his thigh. Jocasta noticed he was still wearing a glove on his left arm even though he wasn’t wearing the gauntlet that he always did.

She didn’t know if she should ask him or not. It must have been a sensitive matter, because she had tried to initiate a conversation on it and he still hadn’t given her a clear answer. If he could just let her examine it, she’d figure out what was wrong. She would. She’d fix it. She’d try. But she knew Vincent. He never opened up. He opened up to her until it was too much and he _closed up_ again and pushed her out.

She was aware that she was the one who _forced him to do that._ To push her out _like this._ She was the reason. She was the one who had lied to him. And then she felt the _pain_ again and she let her head roll back on her seat. Maybe going with him was a mistake. Another bad idea amongst the many that she had. But she still couldn’t help it. She had to make sure he’d be _safe_.

The two of them just let all the silence fall between them. He too didn’t know what to say. He knew she thought that he was using her. And maybe she was right. _Or maybe…_ he didn’t know. He had no idea. One moment _he’s scolding at himself_ for falling for her, and the other _he’s just letting himself_ fall all over.

And _now_ she had her eyes closed, her head resting backwards, at the soft pillow of her seat. She must’ve been tired and he was too. _What a day?_ Who would’ve thought that so many things would have to happen before the actual wedding? But he was glad that everything turned out _okay._ He was glad that he had that _silence_ in his mind. No demon, no beasts growling like they did back in the wedding and he was trying his best to _focus_ and not _wreck_ his best friend’s special day.

“Vincent…” her voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned and looked at her. He hadn’t realized he had missed so much the sound of his name coming from her.

She had untied that bun on her head. She had left her hair down, loosely on her shoulders as she looked over at him.

“…I’m sorry I…” she hesitated. She ran a hand through her pitch-black hair, pulling back again the locks that had already started falling on her face “…I’m sorry I left like that, the other morning…” she felt that guilt gathering into a tightness in her chest.

She knew it was _all her fault_ and she shouldn’t be mad at him. If _using her_ felt like a punishment _fit_ for lying to him, then she’d let him throw it at her, and she would take it all. She just wanted to make it up to him, and she was ready to handle _whatever_ he’d ask of her. 

She chuckled “I should stop pretending like it’s your fault when it’s not-”

“Jocasta,” him spelling out her name was all it took keep her from saying a word further “I want you to know… I don’t want to hurt you,” Vincent said and he tried his best to look away from her. He didn’t know why he couldn’t look at her. Maybe he didn’t want to see the _pain_ pictured on her face.

She sighed “I know,”

She didn’t know if she should _do it._ She just looked at his right hand that rested over his thigh and all she wanted to do, was to tangle her fingers between his. She wanted to feel the warm, tight hold of his arm over hers. She had missed it so much. Her hand hesitantly reached for his, but it surprised her how much he welcomed it. He was the one who laced their finger together. His thumb brushed over the back of her palm. But they didn’t say a word. They didn’t speak, they didn’t react. They just held each other’s hand, almost _too tightly_. She had missed it. She had missed her fingers sinking into his. He had missed holding onto her. He had missed _her._

He had missed her. And for a moment he thought that he should just _let go off everything._ The anger, the guilt, the regret. The _pain._ Just _let go._ Let go off these and _hold on to her._ She knew him in ways no one did. She had loved him in ways _no one ever had._ He couldn’t tell if he was feeling the same. He couldn’t tell if he wanted her the same. He just knew that he _needed_ her the same. He did.

She just looked over at him and he looked down at her for just a moment. They let each other sink into each other’s eyes and it was _enough._ It _should be._


	78. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Songs for the dance:   
> \- 'Scarlett's Theme' by Tsuyoshi Sekito and Mitsuto Suzuki (From FFVIIR Soundtrack DISC6)  
> \- 'Don't take your love from me' by Catherine Russel

Night had already fallen when the guests settled on their tables. The building of the hotel wasn’t far from the beach. The sea’s gentle movement, as it crashed on the shore, was still audible from the spot where the round tables were spread. Couples were already dancing on the dance floor at the sound of the music’s rhythm. The tables were spread around the blue, illuminated pool of the hotel and there was that endless mumbling of people.

The sky was clear. The food, delicious, but Jocasta hadn’t eaten much and she could tell that Vincent hadn’t eaten anything either. Cid and Shera had made them sit beside each other and maybe that’s why there was this sort of a tension.

This _awkwardness._ They shouldn’t be feeling awkward, though. They’ve been through so much together. But maybe _that’s why_ there was that tension. Jocasta tried her best not to lose herself looking at his formal attire and at how _ridiculously_ much it suited him. And she could tell that he too was trying to avoid her, sipping on his wine, and listening to Cid and Shera discussing with Cid’s parents.

Jocasta just stared at the couples dancing. Of course, Cid and Shera had opened the first dance, and now the two of them were just stuffing food in their mouths, nodding and listening to what Cid’s parents were saying. They were talking _so much._ Jocasta for once would prefer the voices inside her head over that endless chatter coming from Cid’s parents. But Vincent was beside her, and both their minds were at ease. It wasn’t a frequent occasion and Jocasta knew that she had to cherish it.

She had been mostly staring at the couples that were dancing at the soft rhythm of a song coming from the band. There was that soft, chilly breeze that brushed over her forearms and wavered her hair. It soothed her. The silence in her mind, the soft breeze, the night clear sky. She was so good at ignoring, that at some point, she couldn’t even hear what the other four were saying. Until Cid’s dad turned at her.

“And what about you, Professor Ernchester? Cid has told me a whole lot about you. What have you been up to?” The old man asked. He looked more like an older version of Cid. He too had a cigarette trapped between his lips, ignoring the fact that he was severely coughing sometimes and his wife was scolding at him.

Jocasta tried to pull on a smile and act like she wasn’t _panicking_ from the mere fact that a stranger was addressing to her. “I’ve been teaching at Edge’s Shinra University for the past two years,”

“Oh! That’s delightful! What do you teach?” Cid’s mom asked.

“Genetic Engineering, mostly” Jocasta answered.

“Ha! Get you an engineer wife! The biggest fuckin’ blessing! Sure, your husband, Mr. Valentine does know that!” Cid’s dad said and for a moment both Jocasta’s and Vincent’s eyes widened and they both stuttered the same thing.

“Ehehehe no w- we aren’t m- married-”  
“N- no, we’re not, r- really, we’re just-”

“Albert!” Cid’s mom smacked her husband’s shoulder and she shot him a deadly look “Stop making those two uncomfortable. They’re _obviously_ engaged,”

 _Oh, no._ Jocasta could feel her cheeks heating up, and her hand reached for her face right away. She rubbed her forehead and she groaned. She looked at Vincent, who was probably _cursing_ not bringing his cloak with him. He could at least hide behind that collar of that _pretty useful demon’s cloak_ but he didn’t have it at the moment so he just choked on a sip of wine that he’d just taken. He felt Jocasta’s hand patting his back and he nodded at her notifying her that he was alright.

“Oh, my fuckin’- Mom, Dad, stop, they aren’t engaged or married or related in any fuckin’ way-” Cid tried to say but his father cut him.

“Yet,” Albert raised a finger at his son, and then his hand reached for Vincent’s shoulder “It’s alright, son. Sometimes a proposition is the hardest thing a man can do,”

Vincent stiffened. He didn’t really know how to respond. He just couldn’t tell why this felt so _awkward._ “Right,” he knew that the only way to engage in a different conversation was to _agree._ But as it seemed, Jocasta had a different idea of how to _escape._ He felt her hand tangling around his, arm in arm, and she said.

“Sweetie, how about we take the next dance?”

 _Sweetie?_ But then he had to remind himself that _pretending to be the couple_ was something that happened lots of times, in lots of missions that he’d been sent to as a Turk. Vincent nodded “Excuse us,” he said as he and Jocasta got up and fended away from the table.

Cid’s dad laughed “Go get her, son!” he yelled from the back and Jocasta rubbed her forehead groaning. Vincent still had that unreadable expression on his face as the two of them approached the dance floor.

“I didn’t know Cid’s parents were so…” Jocasta tried to say, but then she realized she couldn’t find the right word.

“Well, they’re Cid’s parents,” Vincent reasoned.

“Yeah,” Jocasta agreed and they walked for a moment until she realized they had been heading towards the other couples who were dancing and her eyes widened. She tore her hand away from his and she stopped walking “Wait, w- why are we heading towards the dance floor?”

“I thought you wanted to dance,” Vincent said as he turned and looked confusedly at her.

“I- I- uh… that was- I mean, that was just an excuse to leave,” Jocasta stuttered, and she found her fingers, nervously, messing on the fabric of her dress.

“Oh,” he didn’t mean to make that sound so _sad_ and _disappointed. Of course,_ she wouldn’t want to dance with him. No one _would dance_ with a _monster._ But still, the thought _hurt_ and he had to tear his eyes off of her and focus on the cool grass that spread beneath their feet.

“I- I mean! I wanna dance with you! It’s just… I- I don’t know if you want that too…? Do you?” Jocasta didn’t know what she was saying. She just didn’t want to see that frown that had started taking over his lips. And she was speaking the truth. She _did_ want to dance with him. She would be dancing with him every night _if she could._ But then she _didn’t_ because she knew that if _they did_ dance, she’d just keep falling _and falling_ for him, knowing that he’d never _fall_ for her the same. And that was a thought that _hurt._

Vincent knew the answer. Having his arms around her and her body pressed against his, would be the best thing that was going to happen that day. But he didn’t want to do anything she _didn’t want._ He didn’t want to do anything that would remind him how much he _felt_ for her. But merely holding her hand was already bringing too many emotions back to him. He couldn’t even imagine how dancing would feel like.

“If you want too,” He didn’t know _why_ he said that. Why did it sound so desperate? He instantly wanted to scold at himself. Lucrecia was still out there, and he was _here_ and _now_ in need of dancing with the woman that he deeply felt so much about. He was instantly feeling the regret creeping back to him, but he knew he couldn’t take the words back.

She had that surprised expression on her face. He could say she had stiffened. He could say she had gotten even more nervous from the way that her fingers messed with the fabric of her dress. A gesture that she used to do with her sleeves whenever she got nervous. And for a moment, he was sure that she was going to decline, something he didn’t know if he’d be happy or sad about.

But for _much to his surprise,_ she nodded hesitantly “Okay,”

They both heard people clapping at the jazz band, as they finished another piece. Some couples walked back to their seats, and some others got up. Jocasta could tell that they both had been waiting to hear what the next song was going to be. It was a slow one, starting with a small intro from the piano, and then the other instruments entered one by one.

They both approached the stage that lied in the middle of all the tables, beside the pool of the hotel. Vincent looked down at her. After everything they’d been through together, she was still hesitating, and he too felt like he had to ask her should he put his hands around her. He knew they weren’t the same as they were two years ago. Back when he’d cup her face and she wouldn’t turn away. He knew that she had a right to. He’d left her. But he too had a right to leave. She’d lied to him. But no matter the _pain_ that they just kept inflicting onto each other, he still _needed_ her close.

His hands reached for her waist, but he stopped himself right away. He looked down at her, questionably “May I?”

Jocasta found herself biting her tongue. She didn’t know why she was nervous. She didn’t know why she was hesitating. Maybe it was because she was afraid that she’d get hurt again. Every single second that she spent with him, it reminded her how much she _loved him._ It reminded her how much he _didn’t_ feel the same.

But she nodded. She couldn’t help it. Not when his crimson eyes stared down at her like that. She tried so hard not to meet them with hers. And when his hands slipped around her, she had to take a step forwards and get closer, till her body pressed against his. She felt his fingers tightening around her dress. Her hands slipped over that black jacket that he wore, till she reached his chest, and she just let her palms rest flat on top of it.

His eyes caught hers as they started moving at the slow, soft rhythm. She couldn’t hear the noise of anything else around her. The chatter of people. The gentle pat of heels on the wood of the stage. The clacking of glasses and forks and spoons and knives as they cut, and stabbed and dipped into food. None of these. For a moment she was sure that all she could see, and hear, and feel was _him._ She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move. She wouldn’t be moving if he wasn’t guiding her. She felt lost and numb and unable to think and do anything, but just… _just stare._ She didn’t know what he was doing to her. She didn’t know what to do about this. She had never danced with Vincent before. She had never realized it’d feel like _this._ She just knew her heart was beating loudly.

And he too didn’t know what to say, what to do. The low lights around them and the soft music, and the silence in his head, and the way her eyes shined. Grey pupils discriminating in the dark of the night, staring up at his. And then she leaned in and pressed her forehead against his cheek, and that’s where he felt his heart ready to burst out of his chest, and he didn’t know what he was _feeling._ He’d never experienced that before, even when he’d dance with Lucrecia, those long ago, fateful nights in Shinra’s balls and celebration anniversaries.

She buried her face in his neck and he could do nothing but tighten his hands around her. He almost clutched on her shirt as much as she was clutching on his jacket. Why was she clutching on his jacket? Was she afraid that he was going to _leave? Probably_. It hurt knowing that she felt this way. She was afraid that he’d just run away at any moment while he knew he _couldn’t_ run away even if he wanted to.

He felt her breath brushing against his pale neck as she breathed him in and closed her eyes, and tried to cherish the moment for as much as she could. She tried to convince herself for a moment, that he was feeling the same. That he _loved_ her, even though she knew he _didn’t_ and she knew he never would. He wasn’t _hers_. He never had been. But it felt good trying to convince herself -for just a moment- that he was. _That he could be._

Why else would he want to dance with her? Why else would his hands hold on to her so tight? It’d made sense for him to clutch onto whatever was left of the sense of _happiness._ A mere sense of _happiness_ he had in this life. Could she be that? His happiness? She wanted to be. She wanted to be so much but… would he ever let her? She didn’t know. She knew she’d never get an answer other than the one that she gave herself. _Hope._ It was her _love_ for him that fed her with _hope_. She wasn’t clutching on him. She was clutching on her _hope_ that someday -maybe- he’d change his mind. That, someday, he’d let himself _love_ her, just as much as she _tried_ to _love_ him.

But she still had to apologize _properly_. She still had to give him time and space to figure out the things that troubled his mind. She’d help him too _if he let her._ And then she felt his thumb and index finger, trapping her chin between them and lifting her head up to him.

She obeyed immediately. Her eyes found his again and she waited for him to say something. _Anything._ But she knew, he didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to look at her. He just wanted to appreciate her lips, her eyes, her cheeks. That needy gleam in her eyes that he’d seen before. So many times, she had looked at him that way. He didn’t know why he felt like he was lost in that look. In her parted lips, her rosy cheeks.

She had that melancholic look on her face. It let him know that she was thinking. She was thinking of all of _these_. The things that kept them apart. The problems that they had to fix. The mistakes that they had both made. He felt like it was time to _stop._ Stop embracing the regret and guilt, and just grasp on _each other._ Because they _needed_ each other more than he’d like to admit. They had tried to spend two years apart, and he found, that nothing good had happened those two years. Nothing good ever happened without her.

 _Yes._ They had to talk. They had to resolve this. They had to fix _each other._ He couldn’t live without her, and she couldn’t live without him, and it was foolish to pretend like they could.

He felt his nose brushing against hers. Her eyes had focused on his lips and he instantly knew she wanted him to kiss her. He instantly knew that he wanted to kiss her too. But he just ghosted his lips over cheek till he found her temple. He pressed a kiss there. She didn’t seem to be fighting it. She didn’t seem to not want this.

She just closed her eyes and pressed her temple against his lips, and continued trying to convince herself that he _felt_ at least, something for her. That he wasn’t _using her._ That when he closed his eyes and dragged his lips over her cheek, he wasn’t thinking of _Lucrecia._ Because that thought _hurt, and hurt, and hurt._ It would make her push him away. It would make her _run._ It would make her deny what she so much needed. _Him._ How could she ever bring herself to _deny_ those kisses? How could she ever bring herself to _deny him?_

He gently ghosted his lips down her temple, and over the corners of her lips. He was looking at her, seeking for approval. He wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He just wanted to _touch_ her. He just wanted to _love_ her. He wasn’t sure if he was doing this as a way to apologize, or if it was just an act of _pure need._ He knew he _needed_ her. He knew he too had to apologize for _leaving_ her. He’d left her at the worst possible time and she knew that he had a right to _leave._ She had lied to him. She couldn’t kiss him, knowing that she still hadn’t made up for that.

“Vincent-”

“We need to talk,” he cut her and he pulled back. She did too, but just enough to look up at him. She didn’t look confused, just… c _aught off guard_. She’d been meaning to talk to him. Maybe it was indeed the time they pick up their conversation just as they had left it two years ago. Back when he’d stormed out of her room and slammed her door shut. Maybe it was indeed the time to make up for everything. To mend their broken _hearts_ because no one else would but themselves.

And that’s where the music stopped and the couples clapped. Vincent instead, took her hand and guided her away from the stage, away from the tables, away from people. He took her back into the hotel that didn’t rest far away. They got into the lounge room where numerous sofas rested, with tables in the middle. The door of that room was closed. Nobody was in it. The perfect place to talk privately.

Vincent turned and looked at her. She looked pale. Paler than usual. He could tell she was ready to apologize. She was ready to break down. But he didn’t want any of these. He didn’t want to see her cry again. He didn’t want to see tears on her cheeks _ever again._ He knew what he was about to say, it was going to stop her from crying. It was going to stop her from apologizing and breaking down.

Yet, it was still _so_ difficult to say it. It felt like the words were just going to get caught halfway his throat and choke him and he knew why this happened, and he knew he needed to fight it, because he couldn’t go on _without her._ He never found any solace in Lucrecia’s cave. He never found any comfort. He only found a ghost that wouldn’t stop haunting him and _now_ -he knew he shouldn’t be- but he was tired of that. He parted his lips to speak these out, but she beat him to it.

“I’m so sorry, Vincent,” she grabbed her hands around her and she looked away from him in regret. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…” she buried her face in her hands and he could tell she was trying not to cry “…I knew that telling you the truth would hurt you, that’s why I didn’t tell you, but I hurt you anyway, and hurting you it just…” she felt that lump in her throat. It was about to choke her. She couldn’t breathe for a moment, but she knew she had to finally let it all out. She was ready to scold at herself for crying. She hated crying. She hated acting so weak _but_ “…it just hurts so much,” she buried her face in her hands.

She didn’t want him to see her while she cried. She didn’t want anybody to see her while she was acting so _weak._ But Vincent was there, and she could feel his eyes focusing on her and she didn’t know what he was thinking. She didn’t know if she even wanted to know what he was thinking.

“Jocasta-” She could feel his hand reaching for her face but she just made a step back and cut him.

“No. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, Vincent,” She said and she wept against her hands, even though she wanted him to hug her. She wanted to clutch on his shirt, because it _hurt_ how much true her words were, even though he’d never admit that. She knew that he never would.

“Jocasta, I tried…” he said “…I tried so hard to keep myself away from you. To keep myself mad at you, because you lied to me. You kept the truth from me, and I know I should feel anger, but I just don’t. I know I shouldn’t be feeling so much for you, but I just do, and I’m tired of pretending like I can live without you because I can’t,” the words just slipped out and he just couldn’t stop them.

He knew he shouldn’t be saying all these, but he knew that he’d never regret these words because she had stopped crying. She had stopped crying and he couldn’t even fathom how much content that made him. He never wanted to see her cry ever again. She was looking up at him and this time he approached her, and she didn’t move away. She stood there. She let him touch her cheek, and wipe the wet traces left there from her tears.

“And I’m not using you. Maybe I once did, but not now. I know I shouldn’t, and I know it should feel wrong, but I love you…” he finally said it. He couldn’t stop himself. He knew he shouldn’t be giving in. He didn’t care about _why_ Jocasta had lied to him. He no longer cared about what happened thirty years ago. He wanted to focus on _now._ On _her._ And he realized, he’d been leaning down to her. He realized his left hand was around her, and the other still lingered on her cheek. He couldn’t help it. He _needed_ her “…I’ve been trying to hold onto the reasons for not to love you, but I can’t. It doesn’t feel wrong no matter how much I try,”

And he meant all of these. He had been trying so much _indeed_ and he had failed. He had tried by staying away from her. By going to Lucrecia’s cave and stare at her. By reminding himself that she had kept from him the fact that he had a son with Lucrecia. That she had kept from him the fact that Lucrecia was still alive. He knew he should be mad about all of these, but it had been two years. He had tried so hard to stay away from her, but he just couldn’t. Maybe that’s why he hugged her in that forest. Maybe that’s why he’d let her _in_ in the first place. Maybe that’s why it had hurt him so much the idea of _her_ to have _never_ _loved him._

But she did. After all of these, she still did, and she was staring up at him _right now,_ with shiny eyes, and drenched eyelashes. He hated himself on the thought of how much she must’ve suffered those two years because she had suffered because of him. Because of him not being there for her while he knew that he should be. He hated himself that he had left her, but he had to make up for it _now._

Her hand reached for his face. Her expression softened. Her shoulders relaxed. She touched his cheek with her fingers and she saw him closing his eyes. He never knew how much he had missed her hand on his cheek. That gentle brush of her fingers against his skin. He never knew how much he needed that contact. How much he _craved_ for it. A mere stroke of her fingers on his face made him want to shudder.

She caught his face between her hands and she watched the way he closed his eyes, savouring every little bit of her fingers’ movement. He was so in need of that. He was so in need of affection, and she was so in need to give it to him because she loved him and she wanted nothing but to see him _happy. Complete_. _Whole_.

Her hands pulled on his face, tugging him down to her height, urging him to kiss her. He responded immediately. He pressed his lips against hers and he shuddered at the feel of it. He felt her hands around his face while she rolled her lips gently against his. His hand found her cheek. His fingers spread down her neck, keeping her face steady as he pressed his lips softly against hers. He was afraid to do anything more. Afraid that she was going to pull away, and start running away from him. He wouldn’t be able to handle that if it happened, so he pulled back and looked down at her. His eyes sought for approval on her face.

She looked dazed. _Mesmerized_. Her fingers were _now_ clutching on his face. Her hair was falling down her shoulders, brushing over her bare back. He had tasted her salty tears on her lips and he yearned for more. Her hand reached for his face again and she tugged him down to her again, and it was all the approval that he needed. She needed him to kiss her again. She needed to taste him. She had missed him.

And he did, and this time, he kissed her harder than before, because this time he wasn’t afraid that she was going to pull away. He knew that she _wouldn’t_ pull away. That even if she wanted to pull back, she _couldn’t_. She loved him, and he loved her, and it felt so _right_. He penetrated her lips with his tongue, and she welcomed him with hers. He couldn’t hold back that groan that reached the back of his throat when he finally met her taste. He groaned in her mouth and she moaned as she lapped her tongue against his.

He picked her up. Her legs tangled around his waist and his hands supported her against him. Her back hit against her wall. Her hands found his hair. She let her fingers tangle into them, making sure she’d keep him there. _Close._ His mouth closed around hers. Soft, and lusty. He suckled on her tongue. She made a small, needy mewl. Her hands let go of his hair. The one pressed on his broad shoulder and the other found his face again, grabbing hold of his cheek. She felt his hands clutching onto her dress while he kissed her, and _now_ their tongues were locked in a blissful kiss that they’d missed so much from each other. Maybe that’s why his hands were so tight around her. Maybe that’s why he kept swirling his tongue against hers. He’d never get enough of _that_. He’d never get enough of _her_.

Both clutched on each other, afraid that something bad was going to happen. All that time, living in the dark, in the pain, the sadness, the misery, and _now… now_ it was all gone and there was nothing but _him_ and _her._ Just two people that _completed_ each other and this time they weren’t afraid to admit that. This time they weren’t _afraid_ because they had _fixed_ this. _Us._ There was an _us_ finally, and Jocasta couldn’t even fathom how much grateful she was for that. He was _hers. Hers._ Finally.

She was going to _clutch_ onto him and never let him go. She was never going to hurt him ever again. And he too was never going to leave her again. He knew that he _couldn’t_ leave her. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling for her, because it was all too intense. _Too much_ for him to handle, and his heart had already been broken once and he couldn’t let that happen again. He couldn’t inflict the same pain -that Lucrecia had put him through- to someone else. Especially when that someone was _Jocasta_.

The woman _who loved him_ at the sorry state that he was. She had accepted him. She had seen his scars. She had treated that _wretched_ body with the grace that he thought no one ever would. Nobody was ever going to love him like _this._ And maybe that’s why he was so afraid to lose her, back then, before Meteor. She was the only one he had. She was the only one he’d ever felt so much for, and he had finally said it. He _loved_ her.

“I love you,” he mumbled in the kiss and he caught her lips again. He pulled on them with his teeth knocking her breath away, and he wanted to say it again because it sounded _so right._ He wanted to convince her that he _did love her_ because she was clutching onto him in a way that felt like she was afraid that he was going to leave. But he wasn’t going to leave. He _couldn’t_.

He locked their lips back together and he carried her over a sofa. He lied her down on her back, and his mouth never let go off hers. He propped himself on one hand and the other cupped her face. Her fingers were still clutching onto his shirt while he pressed kisses around her mouth and his thumb stroked her cheek.

“Don’t ever leave me again… please,” She begged with a broken sob that reached her throat and he caught her lips again and all that she did was _hope_ that he was being honest. That he wasn’t lying. That he meant it when he said he loved her. That he wasn’t _using_ her.

She’d spent so much time hating herself for _needing_ him so much. For being so _weak_ without him. But _now_ she too wasn’t afraid to finally admit that. She hated to watch him leave. She hated to be alone. She hated to be without him. If he ever left again, she wouldn’t know how to handle it. But _now_ he was on top of her. He was looking down at her. A look that he hadn’t given her before. Maybe he _indeed_ meant it. _He loved her._ She had finally heard those words coming from him.

“Never,” he stopped kissing her, and for a moment he just looked down at her, and cupped her face gently. His forehead pressed on top of hers and his breath brushed against her lips. He didn’t know how to convince her. She had all the right to be _afraid._ “I tried to leave you but I just keep coming back. I love you,” he repeated, and it never seemed _enough_. But the smile on her lips made his heart flutter. It was the smile that he longed to see on her. It was the smile that he’d never get tired staring at. He hadn’t seen that smile for so long.

“I love you too,” Jocasta said and she lifted her head up to meet his lips again.

He followed her, kissing her, and his hand slipped away from her face, and down her body. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to trace every fibre of her being with his fingertips. He wanted to feel her tremble beneath him. She was _his._ She had always been. His tongue found hers again and she shivered when she felt his hand pulling her dress up her thigh, exposing the white skin beneath. She felt his fingers spreading on her hip and his mouth let go of hers.

His lips found her cheek, her cheekbone, her chin. He laid kisses all over her till he found her neck. He buried his face in her neck and he stayed there, listening to her little breathy moans. Her hands were in his hair, clutching in them. A response to what he was doing to her. He was being so gentle. He just pressed all the kisses that he could. His tongue found her skin. Wet and slick. He dragged it over her neck and she let her head roll back on the pillows.

His hand pulled her dress further up her stomach. His fingers found her abdomen and she shivered. He found her scars there. He traced them with his soft fingers. She winced at the memories that came back to her, but he let go of her neck and pressed his forehead against hers. His lips were barely touching hers when he realized they were both breathing hard. They both had that _need_ in their eyes. A _need_ for _each other._ His body was on top of hers. His weight was pressing her down, and her hands were on his chest, his shoulders, his hair. Clutching anywhere on him.

He slipped his hand beneath the soft fabric of her knickers, meeting her wetness with his fingers. Warm, and wet _for him._ He couldn’t believe he had that. He couldn’t believe there was a woman who _loved him that_ much. He couldn’t believe he too _felt_ so much for her. He slipped two of his fingers inside of her, as gently and as slowly as he could, and he just looked at her reaction. She let out a small gasp and her hands tightened around his shoulders, fisting onto his jacket. She felt so warm, and wet, and tight.

He wanted to be inside of her. He wanted to feel every inch of her body, and that need was so urgent, he couldn’t think twice about undressing her, or himself. She was _his._ He looked down at her and he had to repeat that in his mind, trying to believe that he had _this. Her._ Somebody willing to love him like _this._

He was still hesitating, though. The fear of hurting her was still there, but his demons and his beasts were silenced, and there was nothing but _her._ Her chest rose and fell in an erratic rhythm and he could do nothing but stare. He _needed_ her. And so did she. She still noticed his hesitation and her hands found his face. She cupped his cheek as he pressed his forehead against hers and pulled his fingers from inside of her. He traced her slickness on her thigh as his fingers grabbed hold of it and he settled himself between her legs.

His eyes never let go of hers. He sought for approval _again_ , and her fingers stroked his cheek and she pressed a kiss on his neck. He shuddered. She had kissed a scar that he had in his neck and his fingers dug in her thigh. He let out a groan, but then she gave him a small bite by his cheekbone and she let out a giggle that made his heart flutter.

“Vincent,” she whispered against his lips, and her eyes met his again. She nodded at him and he knew it was _acceptance_. His hand reached for his pants, unzipping them and pulling himself out.

She felt his tip pressing on her entrance. He entered her slowly, and another groan reached his throat that he couldn’t hold back. He just pressed his forehead against hers, and he breathed hard and tried to process how _incredible_ it felt. It felt too good for him to handle. She was wet and tight, and warm, and it felt so right to be there. She gasped when he filled her to the hilt and her fingers fisted in his hair. Her head rolled back, and he was almost afraid that he was hurting her.

She looked back up at him, as he stilled inside of her and just let them both adjust to the feeling. Her hand found his face again. She felt his breath brushing against her lips. She kissed his lips again and he sighed in the kiss. A sigh of relief. He knew _now_ that she wanted him to move on, and he did. He pulled out of her and then back in, and he failed to muffle a groan that shuddered through her mouth as he kissed her. Her walls clenched around him and her body almost trembled beneath him. He let go of her mouth and he buried his face in her neck.

He wasn’t intending to bite, but he did. He tried to be gentle, but he couldn’t. He _needed_ her. She felt his teeth sinking in the white skin of her neck and he thrust in again. A little bit harsher this time. It knocked her breath away. He felt her fingers clenching in his hair. Every single thrust knocked a breathy gasp out of her. He could tell she was trying not to make much noise. But the way that he pulled in and out, stretching her tight walls, the way his fingers had dug in her thigh while took her, the way he groaned against her neck… it all just _felt so good._ So _right._

A thrust brought him deep. Deep enough to hit her far end and she cried out, but he muffled her with a kiss. His tongue invaded her mouth and she moaned against it, meeting him with hers. He kept thrusting into her. Every single thrust brought her closer, and closer to sweet release. She groaned when she came. Her body shook beneath his, but his weight pressed her down, and he stilled deep inside of her. He pulled back to look at her while she shuddered through her orgasm. Her hands loosened their grasp on his shoulders. He loved the way her hole clenched around him. Those little whimpers that she let out when he noticed that he wasn’t pulling out of her just yet. He wanted to feel that again. He wanted to make her come undone again.

His fingers slipped away from her thigh. Both his hands slithered around her waist and he pulled her limp body on top of his. He sat back down on the sofa with her on top of him. Her knees planted on the soft couch around his waist. He was still inside of her. His arms were tight around her. His fingers slipped back down on her thighs, supporting her against him. She buried her face in his neck.

He felt her pressing kisses, and nips and tiny licks on his skin. Licking the marks that he had there, bringing relief where there had been none for so long. Her fingers loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, and he watched her as she kissed him all over. She pressed kisses all over the marks on his chest and he couldn’t even process how _good_ it felt. The idea of having somebody to kiss that _wretched_ body like that. The way that her body was pressed against him. The way that her tight body sheathed him. The way that she treated him. No one had ever done that before. No one would ever _do that_ but _her_.

She gently pulled him out and then back in with a gentle stroke of her hips against his. They both sighed at the friction. His hands were keeping her dress out of the way as she straddled him. She braced herself on his shoulders, and his hips met her with thrusts of his own. She felt his fingers clutching on her dress, on her back, on her thighs. He was _everywhere_. Their bodies moved in a steady rhythm. His hand found her hair. He didn’t know what drove him, but his fingers fisted in her hair and pulled her head back, aligning his mouth on her neck.

He bit hard there and he knocked a gasp out of her. He thrust into her with much more composure than she had and a shout reached her lips. He didn’t care to muffle her. He didn’t care if anybody was watching. He wanted to take her. He suckled on her skin till she writhed and winced. His other hand tightened around her waist and he took her harder, and faster. The friction of her tight walls around him, and those breathy gasps, and moans, and _screams_ only made him want to keep doing that. Keep taking her. He bit hard again on her neck and he licked the new marks. _His_ marks. She was _his._ He wanted to put his traces on her and he knew that she wouldn’t mind him doing that.

He pulled away from her neck and looked up at her. Her whole body trembled as he took her. His hips thrust against hers as he hit deep with the tip of his hard member. Her whole body pressed against his. Her half-lidded eyes met his. She was _his_ and it was hard to believe that, but it was true.

“You’re mine, Jocasta,” He growled against her lips. He bit on her lower lips till it was swollen “ _Mine,_ ”

 _“Yes,”_ it came out as a whisper. Her fingers had snuck beneath his shirt, grasping onto his shoulders, dragging lines with her nails. She came with a gasp. Her whole body trembled around him, as he kept taking her through her intense orgasm. Her hole convulsed around him and he had to bite his tongue to hold back a growl when he followed her. He came deep inside of her and for a long moment his head buzzed and his hands were so tight around her. He was never going to let go. _Ever._

He let her bury her face in his neck. He felt her limp body pressing wholly on top of his and he held onto her. “I love you, Jocasta,” his voice came breathy in her ear and she lifted her head off of his neck and she looked down at him. Her hand found his cheek and she smiled.

“I love you too, Vincent,”


	79. Threat

Vincent and Jocasta walked back to their table, arm in arm, just as they had left before. Cid and Shera were dancing, and it looked like Cid’s parents had already retreated for the night, because nobody was at the table. Some people had already left. The crowd was smaller, and the chatter was not as loud as it was before. The sky was clear, and the music was soft when Vincent and Jocasta sat back down to their seats on the lonely round table.

Cid and Shera were slow dancing no further away. Tifa and Cloud were there as well, with Sephiroth and Hester. All the lovely couples were just enjoying each other’s company and finally Jocasta turned her attention on her food. Her stomach growled hungrily and she began eating. She couldn’t tell if her hunger was depicted in the way that she ate, but she was sure that at some point, she could even feel Vincent’s eyes focusing on her.

Her mouth was stuffed with a large bite of pie when she turned and looked at the smile that he had on his face as he stared down at her. “Wha-?” Jocasta asked with her mouth stuffed.

Vincent chuckled. He almost had a smile on his lips as he watched her swallow down that pie. His hand reached for his handkerchief and he wiped that little bit of tomato sauce that lingered at the corners of her lips. He could tell that she was blushing. _A lot._ And he could only feel his smile growing, and growing. It was getting harder and harder to suppress it.

She giggled cutely “Thanks, Vince,”

He made a hum. She hadn’t called him that in such a long time. He remembered back when he acted like he didn’t like it, _even though he did._ He pulled his hand away and nodded at her. His hand slipped around her waist from behind and he brought them closer. Jocasta rested her head on his shoulder and her hand found his chest.

She felt the weight of his cheek, pressing on top of her head as they both took a moment to cherish each other’s company. His hand found hers, the one that she had on his chest, and he took it into his, lacing their fingers together. He looked down at her. She was smiling. She had closed her eyes. He kissed her hair and _for once_ he felt happy. He had almost forgotten that feeling.

It was almost hard to believe that _everything was okay._ That they had _finally_ fixed _this. Themselves._ He would no longer have to live alone. He would no longer have to be scared of closing his eyes, because he was with her, and he had no voices in his mind, no nightmares, no feelings of _pain._ Not anymore.

When Jocasta saw Cid and Shera approaching, she tried to fend away. She was in no mood to start _explaining_ why she had been lying her head on the shoulder of the man that she’d been trying so hard to avoid. But Vincent’s hand was tight around her, trapping her against him. A sweet trap that she didn’t want to escape from _anyway_.

“Vinnie, Joe! The hell have you two be- Oh,” Cid cut himself when he watched the two sitting like that and he suddenly forgot what he was about to say.

“Oh my-! Looks like you two worked things out,” Shera said as she sipped her champagne after she settled on her seat beside her husband.

“Fuckin’ FINALLY!” Cid cried out and he settled on his own seat. “Ya got any idea how many fuckin’ bottles of my great-grandpappy’s whiskey she drank broodin’ about you?!”

“It was only one,” Jocasta tried to defend herself but Vincent grabbed her glass of whiskey off her hand and pulled it away.

“No more drinking,” Vincent said, almost sternly.

She lifted her head off his shoulder and her hands reached for her glass, but Vincent had placed much further away from her on the table, and his hand was tight around her, keeping her from moving. She groaned and gave up eventually. Her head landed back on his shoulder, wearily.

She sighed “C’mon, Vinceeee!”

“No,” Vincent insisted, but softly this time. His hand caressed her bare back and she shivered.

“Fine,” she gave in. Her hand reached for his and he responded immediately, closing his fingers around hers. Both their hands rested by his thigh.

“Good! Keep her on check, Vincent,” Shera nodded approvingly.

“Hey!”

“I will,” Vincent agreed.

“Holy crap! I’m so fuckin’ happy for you two!” Cid said as he stuffed food in his mouth and munched loudly.

“Me too, guys. I mean, it’s been two years!” Shera agreed.

“Indeed…”

“Yeah, we just needed to talk,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

They would all stay at the hotel for the night. Jocasta and Vincent agreed to sleep together. The room was big enough to be comfortable. The Hotel was a good one. One of the best ones that lied in front of the beaches of Costa del Sol. There was a small table in front of a mirror. Jocasta rested her bag on it and she set off to get herself cleaned up and change into the gown that she’d brought with her. She had brought just enough clothes and things that would get her through the night.

She was tying her hair into a braid when Vincent entered with his own identical key card, or at least she _thought_ it was Vincent. Who else could it be?

But before she was able to turn around and greet him with a smile, a hand slipped around her. It trapped her hands together and the other hand of the intruder pressed a soaked cloth by her mouth and her nose. Jocasta recognized the sweet smell of chloroform right away. She fought against the intruder. Her arms were trapped, but her feet were still free. She stepped on his foot but he didn’t bulge, nor grunt, nor scream in pain. She elbowed him hard on the stomach but that didn’t work either.

She instantly regretted not bringing her weapons with her. But how could she have known that it’d be crucial to _bring daggers to a wedding?_ She still fought against him and she knew she had at least five minutes before the chloroform would react. But there was another smell besides that. It would make sense that it would be mixed because _alone_ it wouldn’t keep her passed out for long. She tried her best but it got more and more difficult to move, to think, to react. She knew she was losing all senses and she was falling, but the last thing that she heard was an unfamiliar voice whispering in her ear.

_“Hail Weiss,”_


	80. Solitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Bad Dream' by Ruelle

Beaten. Bruised. A bloody lip. The taste of blood. Her own blood. It soaked her tongue. Bitter and metallic. She spat it out on the metallic floor. It was cold. She felt cold. She was dressed in a grey gown. Her feet. Bruised and bloody. Cuts and new scars. Wounds that needed to be treated and they weren’t. She sought all the comfort from the cold. Cold metal that stood beneath her. Cold metal behind her. Her back. Bloody and wounded, pressing against the metal behind her.

Her cell. All metal. No way out. She felt exhausted. She was exhausted. Another day of torture had gone by. _Another day in hell._ Jocasta’s head rolled on the side. She looked at the wall on the side. She had scratched the days with her own nails. She was counting them. Counting down how long she’d been there. Wishing that every second would be her last.

_Hojo._

_Hojo_ was alive. More than alive. He was something else. He said Hester had uploaded his fragment data on the network. He was _everywhere now._ She didn’t know where she was. She just knew there had been _months._ Months of pain. She hadn’t seen the sun’s light. She hadn’t felt the breeze on her skin. She hadn’t known anything but chains around her hands. Cuffs that pierced the existing scars around her wrists.

Chains kept her feet together, as she let her head roll back on the cold metallic wall and she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the pain on her hands, her back, her feet. The cuts, the burns, the bruises. Hojo was right back at it. Experimenting. On her. Again. He said she had Omega inside of her. He said he needed to _extract_ the demon out of her _somehow._ She chuckled bitterly. There was no way out of there. She could do nothing but stay there and wait, dreading the next day. Hoping that Hojo would do something that would _kill_ her and that’d be the end of it.

She wondered where Vincent was. She was worried. She was worried because she wasn’t with him. She was worried because he too must be having a hard time. But she didn’t want him to _save_ her. She knew that the team would be searching for her, but she didn’t want them to find them. She didn’t want Hojo to get their hands on them. She didn’t want Hojo to get his hands on Vincent. Not again.

She could tell Hojo was doing a pretty bad job on _how_ to _extract_ Omega from inside of her. Whatever that thing was, it didn’t want to get out, because if it wanted, it would have already.

She groaned. She didn’t care. She had gotten used to the voices inside her head. She had gotten used to bearing a demon inside her body. It wouldn’t react _now. Now_ that she could use its powers to escape. It just _wouldn’t,_ and she didn’t know why.

But its voices were still loud into her mind. It kept torturing her as if Hojo’s lancets _weren’t enough._ And the high voltages of electricity that he hit her with, left with new burn marks. New scars. The way he dug his lancets into her skin and cut pieces of herself that he examined. _No._ It wasn’t him. It was the machines that he was using through the _ones_ and _zeros._ He was into all of these machines. He said that he’d be _everywhere_ once Shinra restored the network.

_Great._ That’d be _great._ She laughed and she didn’t know why. This man’s actions almost doomed the world, yet he was still _there_ destroying, and _destroying,_ and _corrupting,_ and _messing_ with people in his labs. He was still _there_ commanding this place.

Jocasta didn’t know much. She just knew that she was being dragged, and cuffed and experimented on and that was _it._ Nothing more. He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted and she had no idea what that was. She had never taken the time to read Lucrecia’s Thesis, but she knew that Hojo had. It was Lucrecia’s Thesis that he used _now_ to _destroy. How quaint?_ Using his lovely _wife’s_ Thesis to inflict all that pain to her sister and all the other poor souls that she heard screams coming from every single day. And the wounds, the bruises, the burns, the cuts, the bleeding. He’d done something to her. Something that blocked her self-healing and she couldn’t tell what.

Jocasta’s eyes snapped open when she listened to the familiar sound of somebody opening her door. Had the night passed yet? She didn’t know. Locked in there, she couldn’t tell when it was night and when it was day. Soldiers walked in. There was something weird about them, and it wasn’t the blue uniforms that they always seemed to wear. They must’ve been another one of Hojo’s _brilliant_ Projects.

But despite the pain, Jocasta tried to fight them as they grabbed her hands, her waist, her feet, and tried to drag her back out. Despite the weakness, the exhaustion. The splitting of her wounds that she had with every single move, she tried to fight them. She didn’t want to get back there. She didn’t want to be cuffed down. She didn’t want any other experiments. But she knew she couldn’t escape. She was tied and weak, and hurt and _alone._

“N- no… please…” their gloved hands were tight around her wrists, digging bruises that she knew she’d be having for days.

“Move it!”

So, so _alone._ She hadn’t done much to deserve this pain. She hadn’t hurt anybody to be treated like this. She begged. Tears streamed down her eyes. She didn’t want to get back in that lab. It happened every single day for _months now_ and she knew that she should have gotten used to it by _now_ but she just hadn’t. How does anybody get used to this? When she escaped back then, she thought that would be the end of it. She thought that it would _end_ there. That she wouldn’t have to feel so helpless, so weak again. _Now,_ she knew that she couldn’t escape. She couldn’t. She was so _alone_ against an _army_ of these people. It felt like it.

She gave in eventually. There was no point. She had neither the energy nor the skill to fight them. Hand to hand combat was never her _forte._ Their fingers were tight around her arms as they dragged her back into the lab. They placed her on the metallic table and cuffed her hands and her feet and they left. Jocasta let her head roll back on the metal. She wept knowing that she couldn’t escape. Knowing that another day of pain was awaiting her. It drove her insane being cuffed down. Not being able to move, to run away. She would run away with all the strength that she had. But they’d capture her again. _What’s the point?_

“Oh no, no, no, no, no…”

She heard the voice. _Hojo’s_ voice coming from the computers and then his hologram appeared. Always the same. That manipulative smirk on his lips. That lab-coat and the blue shirt beneath. Black pants, and circular glasses standing on top of his nose. Hester had done a pretty good job _as it seems._ Maybe that’s why he wanted her to study _Biotechnology._

“…I did not bring you here to cry, my dear,” Hojo’s hologram said as he approached her, looking down at her, while the computers worked to his commands.

“Fuck off!” she growled.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Hojo said sarcastically and laughed.

Jocasta winced when she felt a needle piercing her nape and releasing a liquid right where the spinal cord was located. “How’re you planning to torture me today, _‘Professor’_?!” she spat.

“Torture? Is that what you think that I’m doing to you? Professor Ernchester, you misunderstand my intentions,” he snickered “I’m merely trying to collect my prize,”

“Omega,”

“Indeed,”

“And what are you planning to do with it?!”

“If you had read your sister’s Thesis, you would’ve known, Professor,” Hojo said.

He tucked his glasses further up his nose and he turned at the screen of the computer that was attached on the wall. The screen showed the cameras of a building. It looked like one of the WRO’s labs, and Jocasta immediately spotted Hester and Sephiroth in it, talking with the people and the recruits of the organization. They both seemed stressed. They both seemed in a hurry.

“Look at our children, Jocasta,” Hojo said and he turned and looked at her “We have spotted the WRO Headquarters. It is only a matter of time before I give the orders for the TSVIETs to attack. It would be a shame if something happened to them, mhmm? I’ve always been wondering what flows in that boy’s blood after what you injected him with. Our daughter’s brain too…” he laughed “…she’s even smarter than the two of us put together. Imagine the possibilities,”

_No, no, no, no…_ Jocasta used whatever strength she had to fight against her restraints. She shook her hands, her feet, her body, trying to take them off and start running. She had to warn them. She had to tell them to _run. Run._ She didn’t want them to wind up like her. Locked and tied down in a lab and experimented on. She fought against her restraints with every little strength that she had left, till she realized that there was no way out. There was no escape. There was no way that she could let them know. She could do nothing but _watch._ What if he made her watch his recruits while they _butchered_ them? Hester wouldn’t be able to protect herself. Sephiroth no longer had JENOVA in him. He no longer had those regenerative powers.

“No, no, no, no, please… Hojo, please…” Jocasta wept as she gave in and let her head fall back on the metal. Her fingers unclenched and she felt her hot tears rolling down her cheek “…leave them alone! You’ve got me… do whatever you want at me, just let them be… please…”

Hester and Sephiroth had already suffered so much in Hojo’s hands. Jocasta already held some of the blame of their suffering. She couldn’t let anything happen to them. Hester was her daughter, Jocasta had raised Sephiroth. She loved them both as her children.

“Then shall we make a deal?”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

**One Year Later**

_And so, the hound weaves the final chapter in this tale of life._

He just stood there. Waiting. _Waiting_. _Waiting_. He was waiting for news. He was waiting for progress. He’d been waiting for a year. He still remembered the day. The day he’d last seen her. He’d barged in their room, with Cerberus in his hand, ready to attack the intruder before he vanished with _her_. Before she was taken from him by somebody. Someone that he had no idea about until he described him to Reeve. Reeve had a troubled expression on his face when he spelled out a name. _Nero._ It must have been him.

Another unfortunate soul. One of the many that lived in Deepground. _No._ He was only _unfortunate_ because of what Vincent was planning to do to him. Of what he was planning to do to _everybody_ in Deepground for taking her. Vincent had learned all he could about Deepground. Reeve and Hester had told him all they knew.

_Shinra’s Dark Secret._ A project that not even the President himself knew anything about. Human experiments and research. A project that Hojo had launched and there was no doubt of that. _But Hojo is dead._ Vincent had to remind himself. Who was in charge of it?

They knew nothing of where Deepground was based. Who ran it, what they were doing, what they were planning to do. Vincent couldn’t care the least. He just knew that they had the woman that he loved and he was willing to do anything to find her and rescue her. It had been a year. A year of hunting. He had inevitably joined WRO’s forces along with Cid, Sephiroth, Hester, Barret, Cloud, Tifa, Nanaki, Yuffie. The team was back together, working on rebuilding the world, but Vincent tried to keep his distance. He didn’t care about rebuilding the world. All he cared about was finding _her._

He knew that he should prepare himself for the worst. Maybe she was already _dead. No._ He couldn’t think like that. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he knew that she was _gone. Dead. No._ He just couldn’t think of that. He was already blaming himself. If he had gotten there sooner _he could’ve protected her._ But _no._ He was still saving to protect the people that he cared about. He always failed. He failed to save Lucrecia. He failed to save his father. He failed to save Jocasta. If she was dead… _No._

Vincent rubbed his forehead. He wouldn’t be able to move on without her. An eternal life in misery. He knew he would just sink back to his nightmares. His loneliness. He would lock himself back into his coffin and he’d let himself suffer an eternity. He’d fall asleep, sinking back into his nightmares. _Nightmares. Pain. Horror. The voices._

The voices in his head were so loud. _Louder_ than they had ever been. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t be around people. He would lose control. He was afraid of that. He was afraid of _himself._ She wasn’t around to help him. She wasn’t around to silence the _voices. The voices. The shouts. The screams._ She wasn’t around to cup his face. Tell him that everything was going to be _alright._ She wasn’t there. She wasn’t. It drove him insane. The thought of something happening to her. It drove him mad and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where to look, what to look for. He just knew that he had to find her. He had to make sure that she was okay. He _needed_ to make sure that she was _okay._

He _needed_ her _there_ and _it hurt so much._ The thought of something happening to her. He remembered her screams. Screams that would echo down the endless halls and stony corridors of the basement labs of the Shinra Manor. That cursed _hell house_ that hosted the _mad scientists._ The _haunted_ building that housed Hojo. And her screams. Jocasta’s screams were still loud in his ears and it _hurt_ knowing that something bad was happening to her _right now._ Knowing that he wasn’t there for her. That he couldn’t find her. That he couldn’t save her. That maybe she was _gone._

_No._ She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. Vincent looked up. He had to stop thinking of these. He had to stop thinking that maybe _she was gone._ He couldn’t live with that thought. He’d already lost so much. He’d already lost _everything._ He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t. Not the same way that he had lost Lucrecia.

Lucrecia laid in the distance, into that solidified Mako. The Mako Crystals around him and around the silent pond were bringing enough green light to be able and see in the darkness of the cave. Lucrecia had that peaceful expression on her face. Closed eyes, a white cloth covered her. Her hands were gathered in front of her. Her bangs fell on her face. She reminded him of Sephiroth _a lot._ The hair, the face. It all reminded him of Sephiroth.

He didn’t know why he was there. He hadn’t been in that cave for months. He didn’t know what he was hoping to find should he stare at the woman that he once loved. He knew that memories would come back to him. Maybe there was an answer to all this. Maybe he’d figure something out. There was always an answer should he stare back to his past.

_So, we meet again._

_Lucrecia…_

He didn’t know how long he spent in that cave. He tried to remember. He had a feeling Hojo had something to do about Deepground. _Call it a Turk instinct._ Human experimentation always linked onto Hojo, and Deepground was all about it.

_I’m so sorry…_

He heard nothing but that.

_…I’m so sorry._

It was the only thing that he could ever make out of the crystal. The only three words that she would ever say whenever he’d go there. And he would always wonder the same thing.

_Why?_

Why would she apologize? He was the one who had failed to protect her. He was the one who had failed to stop her that day. The day when she announced them that she was pregnant, and that she was willing to experiment on that child. _Their child. No._ She couldn’t have known that it was theirs. Lucrecia would never do that. She would never experiment on hers and his child. _No._ It was Hojo. Hojo’s manipulative words pushed her to do this. The experiment that inevitably brought her own death and he had done nothing but _watch._ Just like _now._ He could nothing but _wait._ Wait for them to find Deepground. Find _Jocasta_. 

_I’m the one who should apologize._

He couldn’t repeat the same mistake again. He couldn’t let anything happen to Jocasta, because she was all that he had left. She was all that he ever needed. She was his _everything._ He couldn’t repeat the same mistake. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

And then his phone buzzed in his pocket against his thigh. Vincent’s hand immediately reached for it. A message from Reeve.

> _Meet me in Kalm._


	81. Hunt

> _"Three weeks ago, our crew left for Midgar."_
> 
> _"However, the group's whereabouts still remain unknown.  
>  Tonight, for the first time, we bring you the final transmission received before all contact was lost."_

Normally he wouldn’t be paying much attention at a rusty, old TV that rested in front of him. It was the only source of light in the room, except for maybe whatever came from the window. Finding a place to stay for the night during a festival, was tricky. Shinra had finally launched the network after three years without it, and _sure_ everybody was more than happy to celebrate that.

He couldn’t help but remember. He remembered that night _so long ago,_ that Jocasta had dragged him out in a Festival like this, back in Nibelheim. Things were so much _brighter_ back then, even though Lucrecia had just broken his heart in the vilest way. But things were still _brighter._ Jocasta had tried so hard to make things a little more bearable. If it weren’t for her, he would’ve sunk deeper and sooner in the depression that _now_ still lingered at the deepest parts of his thoughts.

He remembered Jocasta grabbing his hand while they walked towards the Festival in Nibelheim. She had gotten them ice cream. He almost smiled as he remembered. She had made them climb at the top of a house’s roof and they had their ice cream there. She liked the countryside, she had told him. She liked the greenery and the cool night breeze as it would brush on her skin.

He remembered her drinking. Even after two years after her fiancé’s death, she just kept drinking and he’d hate it, but he wasn’t able to stop her. _It would be undignified._ Not to mention that she'd refuse. He was familiar with her stubbornness. He and Lucrecia would just spend all the time that they had together, and Jocasta would just lock herself in her room and study and drink and _sink_ into her work. He knew that _working_ was all that kept her mind from the _pain. The pain._

She must have been in pain _now._ The thought _hurt. It hurt._ He wanted to find her. He wanted to save her. If Deepground was conducting human experiments, then they were experimenting on her. They were hurting her, and it had been a year, and he couldn’t help thinking of what they must be doing to her _now._ What they must have been doing to her for an entire year. He couldn’t help remembering how many nights he’d find her crying against her pillow because of the nightmares.

He felt like part of him was _lost_ and he didn’t know what to do. It drove him _insane_ not knowing where she was. Not knowing whether there was a chance to find her or not. 

> _"For the past years, this door has remained sealed. However, that seal is about to be broken. There are no records of this place, located deep beneath the Shinra Building. Another of the Company’s secrets revealed recently. According to investigative reports, there is evidence that thousands of people were once transported here. If rumours of the Shinra Company conducting human experiments are true, then this may be where those nefarious deeds were carried out…"_

That was _indeed_ why Reeve had asked him to meet. Maybe they had figured something out. Maybe they had finally found Deepground. Vincent stared out of the window on his side. The loud noise of people celebrating having fun. The loud banging of fireworks as they burst colourfully in the dark night sky. The moon was full. He could very much feel it from the way that his beasts were growling for release. It made his head ache.

And then he felt something. A sudden swift in the air. Something was coming. Deadly and fast. The instincts of his demon kicked fast, he turned his head at a loud bomb that fell in the middle of the Festival. It spread fire and destruction. Vincent stood up and looked down at the burning City and the panicked people that ran all around.

An airplane stood right in front of him. The light almost blinded him as it started shooting at him. Vincent’s reflexes kicked in quick. He jumped out of the window, shooting multiple of Cerberus’s thick bullets. Vincent landed on a building and he jumped up again, shooting a couple more bullets and knocking the airplane to crash. He landed back on another building with his back on the explosion created by the airplane that he had just knocked over. His cape fell all over him. He pushed it away with his hand and he looked down at the chaos of people as the soldiers that came out of the airplanes, started slaughtering them.

Vincent’s gauntleted hand reached for the railing as he stared down. _What’s going on?_

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

She didn’t know why she was there. She didn’t know why she was doing this. She didn’t know how she could be able to handle this. Watching people getting slaughtered by Deepground’s soldiers. And she was one of _them._ Jocasta just looked out of the main airplane. The beast was behind her, watching her every move and reporting. The TSVIETs. She was one of them _now._ There was no escape for so long, she had to give in. She had to give in or else _he’d hurt them._ Her daughter. Sephiroth.

Jocasta knew why she had to do this.

“Time to locate the subject,” Azul’s voice came from behind her.

She did not question it. She did not hesitate. If she had, he would report that. If she didn’t do what _he_ asked, she knew _torture_ would be expecting her back in the HQ. If she didn’t _play_ her part, they would _hurt them. Her children._

Jocasta walked towards the controls. The endless screens of cameras. Cameras linked to the soldiers that they had in action. Jocasta spotted _him._ Her heart fluttered. She hadn’t seen him in so long. She had to take him out of there, not lead them to him. She had to lead them away from him. She had to get them out of there. She had to keep him _safe._

But _no._ She couldn’t do that, and it made her bite her tongue so harshly that she tasted her blood. A taste that she’d gotten so used to that last year. She had spent a year in hell. _Hail Weiss._ He was nothing but a mask and she knew it. An empty figure that the TSVIETs worshipped and _she_ _had to too._ She had to. There was no escape from this. _No way out._

Her hands reached for the keyboard and she typed.

> _Vincent Valentine  
>  _ _Gender: Male  
>  _ _Blood Type: A_

“Let’s go,” Azul said as the airplane landed and he walked towards the hatch.

Jocasta pulled up her hood, covering her face before she followed him. She had to change everything about _her. Sure, now_ she was way better at hand to hand combat. She was better at handling daggers _alone._ She was better at enduring the _pain._ At handling feelings. At doing everything they asked of her without questioning it. _Killing_ had become a usual task. _Heck,_ she’d even learned spotting the _pleasure_ in it. _Hail Weiss._ Being one of the TSVIETs required some qualities. She got too many times beaten up by Azul, or Rosso. She was _alone._ She had to _learn_ to survive in Deepground. She hadn’t seen the sky ever since they’d abducted her.

And _now_ that she followed Azul out of the airplane and towards the building where they had spotted Vincent entering, she had to keep herself from looking up in the sky. She hadn’t felt that night breeze for an entire year. She hadn’t seen the stars, the moon, a City, at least one that wasn’t underground. She hadn’t seen these for so long. She hadn’t breathed clear air in such a long time.

But she couldn’t react. She couldn’t fill her nostrils with the scent of spring. She couldn’t look up. She didn’t do any of these. She just followed Azul into the building, _emotionless._ They had a mission to take care of. _Wanted dead or alive._ She knew she was there to make sure that he’d stay alive.

All it took was a punch of Azul’s to bring down the wall of the building. Vincent was standing behind it. Her heart hammered against her chest. He did not look well. He looked tired. He hadn’t slept in so long. She could tell as much. Jocasta gritted her teeth suppressing her need to walk up to him. To touch him. She just covered her face beneath that hood and she clutched on her daggers. She knew she was gonna get asked to attack. To kill. To destroy. Because that was all that the TSVIETs ever did. But this was her first mission. She couldn’t _mess_ this up.

“Give us the Protomateria,” Azul demanded.

Jocasta knew that Vincent possibly had _no idea_ what the Protomateria was. She had chosen not to tell him anything about it. She hadn’t told him about the day when Lucrecia called her and asked her help to help her save him. Instead of just _letting him rest_ Lucrecia had forced a demon inside of his body, and she had placed the Protomateria on his chest to ensure that he’d stay alive and _live a life of misery_ and endless _conflict._ And the problem was, that Jocasta had _helped_ her to do that. She was the one who had planted the Protomateria on his chest, but Hojo didn’t know that. _Thank Holy,_ that he didn’t. Who knows what he’d ask her to do to him.

Vincent didn’t really think of giving an answer to that question. He just stared at the two trying to figure out who they were. He couldn’t recognize the big one, but something felt familiar about the woman behind him. She wore a long hood that covered her face, but the voices inside his mind were silenced instantly, and for a moment all he could think was that _maybe_ she was _her. Jocasta._ His heart fluttered at the mere thought of her being there. He tried to make a step towards her, but Azul got in the way.

“Hail Weiss,” Azul said and the soldiers that escorted them, along with the other woman who stood behind him, they let go of their stances to repeat that in a salute.

“Hail Weiss,” Jocasta said and she was glad that the soldiers’ voices were covering hers.

She didn’t want Vincent to recognize her. She didn’t want to see the disapproval on his face. Disapproval for her being one of them. She had a reason she was there. She had a reason she was doing this. Deepground knew all about WRO’s Headquarters and she was the only reason they hadn’t yet attacked. She had seen their forces. The TSVIETs. The genetically engineered soldiers. People bred for war, and war alone.

Vincent did not say anything. His hand just reached for Cerberus and he started shooting at the soldiers who had surrounded him. Jocasta was glad to realize that Azul didn’t want to attack just yet. She knew that they’d just have to watch Vincent as he shot and beat down the soldiers.

She also knew she shouldn’t be worried. She knew it was nothing that Vincent couldn’t handle. But she was worried. She worried that if Azul attacked, she’d have to attack too. She’d have to hurt him. She would never bring herself to do that. But she knew that if she didn’t, Hojo was going to attack the WRO Headquarters where the entire team was. Where Hester and Sephiroth worked.

“Challenge accepted,” Azul said as he made a step forwards, readying himself to attack. But then the orders came from both their intercoms attached to their ears.

_“Draw back. WRO’s forces have arrived,”_

Jocasta felt her shoulders instantly relaxing, the grasp around the stems of her daggers, loosened. Azul made a chuckle.

“Luck’s on your side,” he said before he turned around and the two of them exited the building from the hole that Azul had made on the wall. 

Jocasta knew she had to go. She had to leave. She had to follow Azul back in that airplane and get out of there. But she couldn’t help staying a little longer. Her eyes met Vincent’s but she knew he couldn’t make out who she was. She just knew she had that lump on her throat when he made a step forwards and she had to take a step back. She couldn’t afford to have him recognizing her. He had that look on his face. _Hope._ Maybe he had already guessed something. It made sense since both their minds were at ease. No demon’s voices. No screams.

She wanted to stay. She wanted to hug him. It had been a year. Another year without him. A year of pain and she hoped every single second that he was there to _save her._ But _no._ She had to _leave._ She had to swallow down that lump and clutch on that pit in her stomach and _walk away._

And she did, and every single step _hurt._ She followed Azul out of the building and back into that airplane that took them away.

Vincent had to shake his head and snap out of it, when he realized that Reeve was there, with his WRO recruits and Sephiroth. Sephiroth sliced two more soldiers of Deepground’s, before he proceeded to join Reeve and Vincent. He placed the Masamune back in its case and gave Vincent a nod. Vincent returned it awkwardly. He didn’t really know how to react to _seeing his son._

“Vincent! Are you alright?” Reeve asked.

Vincent took his moment to respond. He nodded and hummed “Reeve, nice to see you again,” he looked down at Reeve’s dark blue clothes “Not a very interesting outfit though,”

Reeve laughed “It took me a while to decide which costume I should put on for today. But enough of the small talk. Who were those soldiers that just left?”

“I don’t know,” Vincent answered “The large one must have been Azul…” he paused for a moment “…the other… she didn’t fit any description you have on the TSVIETs,”

“Wait…” Reeve seemed confused “…you mean it wasn’t Nero? Nor Rosso?”

Sephiroth frowned “Maybe they added another member,”

“General! Commissioner!” one of the soldiers cried out from the back.

Sephiroth pulled out his Masamune again and he got on his stance, shielding Reeve.

Reeve turned back at Vincent “We’ll discuss this later. WRO troops have arrived and commenced rescue operations. We could use your help, Vincent,”

Vincent sighed. Normally he would refuse. He couldn’t care less about what people did, but this had to do about Jocasta. If she really was somewhere in Deepground, he was willing to do anything to find her.

“Please, you fought with us three years ago,” Reeve said as he noticed his hesitation.

“Reeve, I can’t care less about your senseless wars. I just want to find Jocasta. Once I’ve done that, I’m out. We’re both out,” Vincent explained.

Reeve nodded “Alright,” 


	82. Rule Through Fear

He couldn’t tell how late it was, but he could tell it was still night. Tifa’s head was resting on his chest. She had been sleeping peacefully. Her breathing had fallen into a steady rhythm. He brushed his hand into her silky hair and pressed a kiss on top of her head. Her hand was around him, clutching on his thin white shirt.

Cloud let his head roll back on the pillow, and he closed his eyes, reminding himself that he had to sleep. But then he heard familiar footsteps from the outside of their room’s door. Marlene’s and Denzel’s heads popped in from the half-opened door. Cloud lifted his head back up and he looked at the two as they rushed in the room. They looked frightened. He tried his best not to move a lot, not to wake Tifa. But Tifa raised her head off his chest as if she had sensed them being there.

“Aw, what’s wrong, sweethearts?” Tifa asked.

“I can hear screams,” Marlene said.

“Me too,” Denzel added

Both Tifa and Cloud sat up. Suddenly they weren’t so much into falling back to sleep. Cloud stood up. He had a pretty good feeling of what was going on. “I’ll go check it out,” he said as he grabbed his clothes and his boots.

“Be careful,” Tifa said and he gave her a smile before he exited the room. Tifa turned at the other two and she pulled back the sheets “C’mon, you two, lie down with me,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Dealing with the Deepground troops in Kalm, took him longer than he expected. While the WRO recruits commenced rescue operations on the citizens, Vincent took it upon himself to deal with the Deepground soldiers and airplanes that wrought chaos in the city. Reeve had asked him to meet back at the eastern side of the church.

He had helped whatever WRO troops needed help, and _now_ he walked on his own towards the church. There was a large square in the middle and the church rested in the distance. A large airplane came towards him. One of the many of Deepground’s and it started firing at him. Vincent found cover behind the gauntlet of his hand, that the enemy’s bullets didn’t seem to be doing it any damage. He kept firing at it with Cerberus’s thick bullets.

A large bomb came his way. Vincent was planning to jump out of the way, but Sephiroth jumped between. He used the Masamune to dodge the bomb back to the airplane, blowing it up. Vincent just stood there and watched him. He didn’t know what to say, or what to do. He could hardly believe Sephiroth was his son. He had a son and he knew nothing about him.

Seeing that there were no other threats around, Sephiroth settled Masamune back in its case and he turned at Vincent to check if he was okay. “Thanks,” Vincent said and it was _honestly_ the only thing he thought it was fit to say that moment.

Sephiroth didn’t answer at first. He just checked for any other threats and saw that there were none. The airplane crashed on the square, burning in the flames of its own bomb. He just stared at the flames and at the people that they were possibly burning with them, trapped in the metallic walls of the crashed airplane. After everything, he was still fighting. He was still _killing_. But this time, he was there because he _wanted_ to. He too didn’t care about _aiding_ the world as much as he cared about _finding her._

Jocasta was the only mother figure that he ever had. The night she’d disappeared he had sworn himself that he’d find her. He’d keep her _safe._ Just as she had kept him _long ago._ She was the only one who had tried. The only one who stood between him, a three-year-old, helpless, afraid, and that cursed scientist, Hojo, who wouldn’t stop experimenting on him. _No._ He was going to find her.

The main reason he was there, the main reason that he was _fighting,_ teaching recruits and aiding Reeve, was learning all that he could about Deepground. And _now_ that they had figured out where that place was, it was only Hester the one who was keeping him from attacking. Barging in on his own and rescuing her.

“I miss her too,” Sephiroth admitted before he turned his back at Vincent and walked towards Reeve and the rest of WRO’s soldiers that were waiting.

Vincent nodded to himself. _Of course,_ Sephiroth would miss her. He must’ve been missing her as much as Vincent did. She had raised him after all. He followed Sephiroth back to the others and once they reached them, Reeve stood up on his feet right away and approached them.

“General!” Another of WRO’s soldiers approached them and Sephiroth followed him with the rest of the troops to further discuss the rescue operations. The city had a few buildings burning, but the Deepground troops had retreated.

“Good work, Vincent,” Reeve said “The enemy is retreating. It seems they have finally begun their withdrawal from Kalm,”

Vincent settled on top of a truck, propping himself on his left hand. He bent one knee and rested the right hand on top of it. “Good,” He noticed Reeve giving him a weird look, which was possibly because of the stance that he had settled in. He looked down at himself. _What’s wrong with it?_ All that he knew was that he felt comfortable sitting like that.

“However,” Reeve cleared his throat and chose not to comment about it. He had more important stuff to tell him “…we still require your assistance,” Reeve added he sighed “Reports are Edge is under attack,”

At that, Vincent tensed up. He knew that Cloud, Tifa and the kids were in Edge. He felt his jaw clenching as he gritted his teeth. Marlene was there too. What if something bad had happened? He knew that Cloud and Tifa were strong enough to protect the kids but that didn’t stop him from worrying. Vincent jumped off the truck and he grabbed his phone to call them, but he noticed Sephiroth had already called.

Sephiroth approached them both as he flipped his phone closed ending the call and he turned at Reeve and Vincent “Cloud, Tifa, and the kids are alright,” he informed them and both Vincent and Reeve let out sighs of relief “They’re at Barret’s in Corel. A small town with little populace. They should be safe from Deepground,”

“Thank goodness,” Reeve said as he rubbed his forehead and he turned at Vincent “We’ll go back to Edge and help. I got recruits there already. Are you coming?”

Vincent sighed and pursed his lips. He nodded.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Her fingers traced over the blades of her daggers. She stared at the sharp edges. She dragged her fingers across them, cutting her skin which regenerated back quickly, closing up the cuts before they’d get the chance to bleed. She was in her quarters yet she wasn’t relaxed. She couldn’t relax knowing that she was one of _them_. Knowing that she had _killed_. That she had _destroyed_. That she was another pawn, playing her role in the game of a madman.

It all felt like a bad dream. One that she couldn’t wake up from. One that she couldn’t escape. Her demon screamed loud in her mind. Omega was restless. It kept her from sleeping. It kept her from thinking. It kept her from doing anything than listen to it. It wanted to run away. She chuckled bitterly. She wanted that too. She wanted to _die._ It sounded like the only way to _stop_ this. To stop the killing. The _pain._ The _pain._

Jocasta looked at her face in the mirror. She was wearing the clothes that they’d asked of her to wear. She had picked her hair back like _she should_. She had new scars. New scars laid all over her. _Everywhere._ A large scar lied in her neck. She remembered how she had gotten that. Getting beaten up by Azul wasn’t just _painful._ It was _deadly_. It had happened so many times. At least she wasn’t cuffed in a cell anymore. Instead, she was _there._ Aiding in _this._ If she didn’t, _he’d_ hurt _them_. Sephiroth and Hester. He’d hurt them. And _now_ she just stood and watched while they _butchered_ and _killed_ entire cities of people.

A soldier walked in her room and she turned and looked at him “Weiss is asking to see you, Commander,”

She fitted a dagger up her sleeve and she bit her tongue. She knew what happened every time that she’d have to _speak with Weiss._ She knew it was Hojo trying new things on her body, trying to _extract_ Omega. She knew pain awaited her and she couldn’t _escape._ She had nowhere to go, nothing to do, but play along.

She turned her back at the trooper and she grabbed another dagger beneath her sleeve, even though she knew that nothing and no one could protect her. A tear slipped down her cheek. She silenced herself by pursing her lips and gritting her teeth, swallowing that lump down her throat. Her voice cracked. She had to _stop it. Hide_ it should she _survive. Bury them down._ She had to remind herself. “Hail Weiss,”

The soldier saluted “Hail Weiss!”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Reeve, what do we know of Deepground so far?” Vincent asked. The WRO truck was running on autopilot. They were on their way to Edge. Sephiroth was standing with his hands crossed and his attention focused on the metallic floor of the truck. Reeve was sitting by the seats, and Vincent was standing in front of him waiting for answers.

“Deepground. The shadow of the Shinra Company. Constructed by the former President and completely hidden from the rest of the world. His goal was to create an army of superhuman warriors nor once letting morality interfere,” Reeve explained.

Sephiroth scoffed “As if the SOLDIER Program wasn’t enough,”

“They have their elite unit, the TSVIETs. As far as we know, the members are three. Rosso the Crimson, Azul the Cerulean, and Nero the Sable,” Reeve said.

“The son of a bitch who abducted Jocasta. He and I are gonna have a few words,” Sephiroth commented.

Vincent couldn’t agree more. But there was something _off._ “There was someone else with Azul today. A woman,” He said.

“Can you describe her face?” Reeve asked.

Vincent realized that he _couldn’t._ “Her face was hidden,” he admitted.

“They must have added a new member,” Sephiroth suggested.

“I’ll have my little feline friend check it out right away,” Reeve said “The whole organization was kept a secret, that’s why there’s so little information about them,”

“Not even two people in your positions weren’t informed?” Vincent asked as he spared two looks at Sephiroth and Reeve.

“I was just a pawn, _Valentine_. They never told me anything,” Sephiroth said dryly.

“No one was informed other than the President himself. The only people who knew about Deepground’s existence were most likely Heidegger, Scarlet, and the Head of Biochemical Research, Hojo,” Reeve said.

Vincent noticed Sephiroth groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose at the sound of the _cursed scientist’s_ name. He couldn’t blame him.

“After the President’s death, the transfer of power to his son was carried out so quickly, I doubt Rufus was ever briefed on the Project,” Reeve said “As for me, I was told the information was on a need to know basis, and as an official in charge of Urban Development, I guess I wasn’t on their list. All the intel we have on Deepground were only discovered recently when he came across some of Scarlet’s old files,”

Vincent sighed and nodded at his friend. He sat down, on the seats across Reeve “Do we have an update on where Deepground’s based?”

“We do. But we need to know what they’re up to if we are to attack,” Sephiroth said as he approached them both and sat beside Vincent “Have you heard of the mass disappearance that happened recently in Junon?” Sephiroth asked turning at Vincent.

Vincent nodded “I heard the report saying that twenty or thirty people went missing,”

“That’s what the report wants you to believe. The actual number of people that went missing that day was twelve hundred. And ever since that day the people of Edge have been… in edge. They say that night after night you can hear screams coming from the direction of Midgar,” Reeve said “They say it’s the wind, but…” Reeve sighed.

“Cloud checked it out. There are screams indeed. The wind doesn’t sound like a thousand wailing souls,” Sephiroth said.

“Commissioner! General! A rogue transmission is being broadcast on all wavelengths,” A soldier’s voice came from the speaker.

The three of them hurried over the screen of the computer that was attached on the metallic walls of the truck. Vincent, Sephiroth and Reeve gathered around the screen. Reeve pressed a few buttons on the keyboard and there was brought to the screen the broadcast that the soldier was talking about.

It was a man. A man that nobody recognized. It must have been _Weiss._ Or at least, he did fit the description of the man called Weiss and commanded Deepground. They couldn’t see him clearly, but they could make out that it was him. The head of Deepground.

_“At last. The time had come to cleanse this planet. The pure will be ‘spared’ for the cause, while the tainted will be hunted down and exterminated. They shall be slashed, strangled, and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed, and crushed. Garrotted, and impaled. Shot and executed without mercy. Let me demonstrate…”_

And then Weiss dragged somebody. Somebody that was tied. Chains around their hands, keeping them on the back. Chains on their feet. Vincent and Sephiroth gasped. They both jumped on their feet and tried to approach the screen. It was Jocasta. She looked beaten up. She had a bloody lip. A few bleeding cuts on her face. Her hair was a mess. The man’s hand was tight around her neck as he pressed her back against his chest and his fingers just tightened and tightened around her throat. Jocasta gasped for air. She looked too exhausted to move. Too exhausted to fight back. She was restrained.

Her hands were filled with bruises. She wore nothing but a grey gown. She was weeping for help. Whimpering, shaking. Vincent’s heart jumped off his chest, and for a moment, all that he could hear was his heartbeat. He felt his fists clenching, his eyes widening. _No._ He couldn’t stand by and watch _this_. He couldn’t stand to watch her being _choked_ and _beaten_ and _suffering._ He gritted his teeth.

 _“Professor Jocasta Ernchester. It would be a shame to kill somebody who has contributed so much to humanity,”_ Weiss snickered against her ear and she whimpered pleadingly. He turned his attention back at the camera _“Too bad she too is tainted,”_ and then he grabbed a dagger and slit her throat. Her blood spilled out and he threw her on the floor. She let out a loud cry of pain and the camera focused back up on Weiss _“It’s time to cleanse this world,”_

And the footage ended _there_. All three of them remained frozen. Vincent just stood there and he didn’t know what he had just witnessed happening. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Did he just kill her? Was she gone? Did he had just witnessed the death of the woman that he loved? Vincent felt _pain._ It spread all over his chest. It knocked his breath away and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to react. It all happened so fast, but he did hear her _cry_. He did see her blood spilling out. He did see that man slicing her throat.

But he was frozen. He felt like he wanted to _fall._ His hand reached for the seats behind him and he sat back. His hands found his face. His fingers found his hair and he just clenched his hands into fists and he shut his eyes. _No._ This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t be _gone_. She couldn’t be. He couldn’t lose her. What was he gonna do without her? How was he supposed to live an _eternity_ without her?

He was _late._ He was so late. He blamed himself. If he had taken action sooner. If he had found her sooner. If he had just- _No._ She wasn’t gone. She couldn’t be.

Sephiroth scoffed. He shook his head. “I refuse to believe that,” he said determinedly as he closed the screen and he turned at Vincent. “She’s not dead. I will not believe it till I see her with my own eyes,”

“This was just a footage. What they showed us might not be true,” Reeve agreed.

Vincent pulled his face away from his hands and he looked up at the two. Maybe they were right, maybe they weren’t. Maybe she was dead, or maybe she wasn’t. He couldn’t tell. They had a point. But all that he still felt was _pain._ What if she was actually _dead?_ It was all his fault, again, and he knew it, and that’s why he buried his face back in his hands. He was trying so hard not to show any emotions. Not to show the _pain._ But it was just too much and maybe that’s why he hid his face. Vincent got up and he turned his back at the two.

He had lost so much _already._ He had lost Lucrecia. _And now_ there was a possibility that he had lost Jocasta too and he just didn’t know what to do. He didn’t how much of the blame he could pull on his shoulders. He just bit his tongue and believed what he _wanted_ to believe. He believed Reeve’s and Sephiroth’s assumptions. Maybe she was alive. Maybe they were just messing with them.

_Maybe._


	83. Finding You

Vincent would proceed to Edge alone. Reeve and Sephiroth were needed back in the HQ. Sephiroth assured him that many of his recruits were already in Edge and they were going to help him deal with whatever troops of Deepground’s had attacked the City.

But when he got there, Vincent noticed something he hadn’t seen in Edge before. _Silence._ A city that hosted a few thousands of people, was silent. He knew it was night. It was probably the earliest hours of the morning. But he knew that it shouldn’t be _that_ silent. Edge was a city that never really _slept._ There were always cars around no matter the time. And _now_ he knew that Deepground would already have killed a couple of people. He did see bodies scattered around the streets. He did see WRO’s troops dead by the streets. The fight must have already ended. He was relieved that Cloud had taken Tifa and the kids out of the city right before the attack. Corel was indeed a pretty good choice.

Wherever Deepground attacked, it would be some big city that hosted huge numbers of people. Corel was small, it had always been. If it weren’t for Barret to go back there and rebuild it, it wouldn’t exist _at all._

Vincent knew he should be _content_ about the silence that lingered all around the streets that he passed by. All he could hear was the gentle tap-tap- _tapping_ of the rain as it hit the roofs, the sidewalks, the pavement that shined silver in the rain. The rain didn’t really bother him. Vincent just let it drench his clothes, his cloak, his hair. He had been through so much worse, that _rain_ was nothing he couldn’t handle. He just ignored it and kept walking within the streets trying to find somebody that was _alive._

But he just couldn’t focus. All that he could think of was _her._ Jocasta. Was she alive? Was she dead? He didn’t know. He knew he couldn’t believe what he’d seen on the screen of that computer. He knew that there must be something more to this. Why would they kill her? Why _now?_ They had her for an entire year, why do it _now?_

That’s what he wanted to find out and he couldn’t tell what their intentions were. He only knew that she wasn’t dead. He couldn’t believe that she was. _He couldn’t._

And then he heard movement. Heels patting on the cement of the sidewalk that he stood on. Vincent’s hand reached immediately for Cerberus and he turned around, pointing it right on his stalker’s head. It was a woman. There was something familiar about her and at first, he couldn’t point his finger at it. She was wearing a white lab-coat, a dark red skirt, and a blue shirt on top that exposed half of her belly. She was wearing circular glasses. One of her eyes was closed. Maybe it was an eye that she had lost somehow. She too had a gun pointed at him. The bangs of her pale brown hair fell on her face and she didn’t seem to mind. But she did have a card, pinned on her lab-coat. He took a better look, recognizing the initials.

“Are you WRO?” Vincent asked but neither of both let down their guns.

“Who’s asking?”

Vincent pulled Cerberus away, fitting it back in its case on his thigh. “Vincent Valentine,” he introduced himself “Reeve sent me,”

At that, she pulled away her gun. She rolled it skillfully between her fingers before she placed it in a case beneath her lab-coat. “My apologies. Shalua Rui of the WRO. The Commissioner has told me much about you,”

“What happened here?” Vincent asked.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Shalua said “I’m here on another business but something’s not right. It’s too quiet. I’ve seen no trace of Deepground nor the squads that were sent here to fight them. Also, where are the half a million people who were supposed to still be living here?” she sighed “This is getting us nowhere. Like I said, I have a business to attend to. See you around,” Shalua said as she turned around and began walking away.

He wouldn’t ask her normally. He couldn’t care less about what people do. But there was still something familiar about her. He had seen something similar. The skirt, the lab-coat, the hair.

“Business?”

And then she turned around to face him again. And that’s where he noticed the missing arm. She had an arm, but an artificial one. “The Commissioner keeps telling me I’m wasting my time, searching,”

“Searching for what?”

She chuckled bitterly. She looked down at her blue heels “My reason to live,” and she turned around and walked away.

A peculiar answer _indeed._ Not many people knew the answer to that question. He didn’t know what his purpose was when he locked himself into that coffin. He knew that all he was fit to experience, was suffering and pain. He couldn’t live with himself knowing that he had failed to protect the woman that he once loved. And _now,_ he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he knew that he’d left his _second_ chance _die. Now_ he knew what his _reason to live_ was. He had to _find her_ and keep her safe.

He found bodies. Endless of them. They were either WRO soldiers or Deepground. He followed them to an old Warehouse. He walked into the Warehouse. It was dark. There were no lights except maybe the flashes of lightning that came from the broken windows. But his advanced eyesight caught the bodies that lied on the floor.

He recognized a figure that lied in the distance in a pool of blood. Whoever it was, they were wearing neither the Deepground uniform nor the WRO. He only noticed it was a woman when he approached closer. She was wearing a black cape. Its long hood covered her face. She was wearing black leather on top of the white shirt that they had been suppressing beneath. She had a deep wound on her stomach. Her hands must have been clutching on the wounds on her stomach. They looked like bullet wounds, and her blood had already trickled out, drenching her clothes and falling in the cracks of the floor’s plaques.

But the more he approached, the lesser the voices in his mind got. He could no longer hear his demon’s voices. His beasts growling for release. He could hear the sound of the rain clearly as it tapped on the roof of the warehouse. He leaned down beside the body. His hand reached for the hood hesitantly. He pulled it off, and his eyes widened.

It was her. _Jocasta._ She recognized the daggers fitted everywhere on her outfit. If he wasn’t a graduate of the Turk Academy, he wouldn’t be able to spot them. But it was her. He brought her in his lap right away. His fingers found her face. She was passed out. He cupped her cheek with trembling fingers. He took a moment to look at her. She checked her wrists, waiting for a pulse, to make sure that she was alive. She was alive. He let out a sigh of relief and he felt his lips quirking up in almost a smile. And then he looked at her wrist. New scars there too. New scars on her neck, her chest, her hands.

He felt _pain._ What had they done to her? Vincent’s hands tightened around her as he brought her close and lifted her up. She was lighter than he remembered, yet it had been so long. He hadn’t seen her in an entire year. He hadn’t held her for an entire year. It felt like it had been so much more than that. But she was wounded. She had bled terribly much. He didn’t know how much time she had. He was going to call Reeve. He needed a helicopter to get her out of there. _Fast._

But she was _alive._ She was alive, and he felt his heart hammering against his chest. She hadn’t died like they had shown in that footage and he didn’t care to figure out _who was the woman that they had executed? No._ He didn’t care. He only cared that she was alive. She was alive, and he was holding her, and it felt enough. Further questions he’d have answered once she’d wake up, but for _now,_ he had to take her somewhere safe. 

Vincent picked her up, making sure he supported her head with his hand. She was passed out, but her hands reached for him. Her body responded to his presence and curled closer to him burying her face in his chest and he _smiled_. He looked down at her and the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile. He had noticed her bleeding had stopped and some of her wounds had already started closing up. He had forgotten that she had self-healing. Maybe he had more time than he expected. But she was _alive._ She was _there._ He carried her out of the warehouse. He brought his cloak forwards, to shield her body from the rain that kept pouring from the sky.

He focused his attention on _where to go,_ but he noticed he wasn’t alone. A woman dressed in red stood in front of him. She had red eyes, scarlet hair, interesting outfit. She had her double-bladed sword on her back. She fit the description of one of the TSVIETs. _Rosso the Crimson._ She was just standing there with her face focused up, staring at the sky, savouring the rain.

“You know, it is the first time I feel the rain on my skin…” she said, “…but then again, I hadn’t seen the sky till a few days ago.” She turned her head and looked at Vincent. She chuckled when she noticed him holding Jocasta “I see you’ve collected your prize. Though, Weiss, isn’t gonna be happy about it,”

“What did he do to her?” Vincent demanded. His hands tightened around her protectively.

“Do? No, my darling,” She said in her heavy accent and she laughed “…he improved her, of course. Though, I don’t really understand how such a weak body can harbour Omega,”

Vincent didn’t really know what she was talking about. _Omega?_ He had met that word somewhere in Lucrecia’s notes that he’d often found on her office. But he had never asked, and she had never told him anything. He just stood and stared at Rosso, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He knew that they both had their demons, he just never knew how Jocasta’s was called. _Maybe it’s Omega._

“So you’re… Vincent Valentine,” Rosso started approaching him “…keeper of the Protomateria,”

 _Again,_ he had no idea what she was talking about. Azul had asked about the Protomateria. They thought that he had it, but as far as he knew, he didn’t possess anything called _Protomateria._

“Not one to bargain, are we?” Rosso asked. Her hand reached back for the sword “Then I’ll make sure you suffer,”

Vincent placed Jocasta back down on the soil, and his hand reached for Cerberus. But before he had the chance to grasp it and start firing, Rosso attacked. Vincent jumped out of the. He avoided a few more of her attacks. But she was fast. He hadn’t noticed her sword was a gun as well. She fired at him with thick bullets that knocked him against a wall. His demon was _screaming_ for release even though Jocasta was there. He should probably let Chaos handle that even though he hated every time that he’d have to _transform._

He did let Chaos claw his way out on his skin. Vincent tried his best to hold back any grunts and groans as he transformed. Chaos unleashed a wave of dark energy, that knocked Rosso out, and when he transported back to himself, Vincent felt the exhaustion washing over him like a hurricane. He fell on his knees and his hands fisted around the muddy soil as it merged with the water. He breathed hard, trying to catch his breath and regain the strength that was drained off him.

He heard somebody approaching him and he looked up. It was Jocasta. Her wounds must have healed so it seemed, but not completely, yet. She was in pain as she crawled herself towards him over the mud. He sat back and his hand reached for hers, dragging her closer to him. They both looked exhausted. They both _were_ exhausted. She had an expression of pain. Her hands clutched on her wounds.

His hands found their way around her and he pressed her against him with all the strength that he had left. He couldn’t tell if she had tears streaming down her face, or if it was just the rain, slipping down her cheeks. Soaking her clothes in the water and the mud. Her hands found his shirt. Her fingers clenched on his buckles and she buried her face in his neck. She wept. Sobs that shuddered through his entire body and his hands only clenched around her. She needed him closer. She was in pain.

She felt his fingers tightening around her, clutching on her shirt, and for a moment, she didn’t care about the mud and the endless amounts of water that poured down on them and drenched their clothes. She didn’t care about Deepground. She didn’t care about _Hojo._ She stopped thinking of anything, and just tried to let herself _feel._ She hadn’t let herself _feel_ anything for a year, because _feelings in Deepground_ tend to be someone’s worst enemy. Because everybody used _feelings_ against _her._

But _now_ she let herself feel it all. The relief. The _need._ She had wished so many times that he was there. To hold her, to protect her, to save her. She felt safe in his arms. A feeling that she hadn’t felt in so long. Locked underground, in a place filled with nothing but _monsters._ Tied and cuffed and tortured and experimented on. Her life mattered no more than a lab rat’s. A place where she hadn’t seen the sky, she hadn’t heard the chirping of birds, she hadn’t felt the rain, the breeze. She hadn’t seen the moon, the sun, the stars. 

She had wished so many times that he was there, and again she had wished that he’d never find her. She knew that if he did, he’d never be able to handle everyone on Deepground and they’d catch him, and they’d hurt him, just as much as they’d hurt Sephiroth and Hester if she didn’t do what they asked.

And that’s when she wept. Her fingers clutched on his shirt. She was _weak._ She had already lost so much blood. But he too felt weak. He was struggling to hold her. He hadn’t slept in days, she could tell as much. But he buried his face in her shoulder and he drew in her scent and closed his eyes. Despite the exhaustion. The impending need to _faint._ He was happy. He was happy because he was holding her. Because after an entire year of debating on whether she had died or not, she was _there._ And after that footage of _her execution,_ it turned out that it was all just a _play._ She was _there._ She was _alive._ And he too ignored the rain, the mud, his aching muscles and bones from the transformation, and he just _held her._

But she was cold. She was trembling. She was sobbing on his chest, and every single sob shook him to the core and he didn’t know what to do to stop her. His hands just clutched on her shirt and he buried his face in her shoulder and breathed her in. He never thought he’d ever get to do that. To hold her. To touch her. To feel her fingers clutching and tugging on the buckles of his shirt.

“I thought I’d lost you,” he breathed shakily against her ear. He pulled back to look at her. Her lip was trembling. Her whole body was trembling and her fingers were so tight on his shirt. She’d never held him like that before.

“Vincent…” her voice cracked as she spelled out his name and she looked up at him. She never knew she’d get the chance to stare at his eyes ever again. She never knew she’d get the chance to be held like that ever again. But she knew this couldn’t last for long. She couldn’t _stay._ She knew the consequences if she did. “…I’m scared… I’m terrified,” another tear slipped down her cheek and he pulled her back into that hug.

He felt her burying her face in his neck. Her fingers clutched again on his shirt as she kept crying and weeping and she looked scared _indeed._ Her body shook and trembled, and he didn’t know why. He wanted to stop whatever it was that bothered her. He _hated_ watching her being like this. He hated watching her crying, shaking, sobbing. He wanted her to stop but he just didn’t know how to stop her. He didn’t know how to make her stop, but it _hurt_ so _bad_ watching her being like this.

He pressed his lips on top of her wet hair. He kissed her temple and his hand caressed her back soothingly. He didn’t know what she must’ve gone through living an entire year in Deepground. A year in _hell._ They had experimented on her. They had tortured her. He could tell from the new scars that he had already spotted. Scars that he hadn’t seen on her skin before. He knew her scars. He had seen, kissed, touched every single one of them. But she had new, and they were too many, even when she was already wearing too many clothes to be able and see the rest. He blamed himself that he wasn’t there _sooner._ That he didn’t know where she was. That he could’ve saved her from all this pain. But he wasn’t there. She must’ve felt so _alone. Unprotected. Helpless._

His hands just tightened around her and he kissed her hair and sighed “It’s alright… I’m here now… I’m here,” 


	84. Letting You Go

_“Is it true?” Vincent asked as calmly as he could manage._

_“Is what true?” Hojo asked raising an eyebrow turning his attention at the young Turk._

_“That Lucrecia…” Vincent tried to say, before he corrected himself “…that Dr Crescent is to take part to this project?”_

_Before Hojo had the chance to speak, Lucrecia turned around and faced him “It’s true,” she said, her voice cold as she approached the table where her husband made his research on._

_Vincent’s furious expression turned into a confused one. His fists unclenched. Lucrecia stood beside her husband, that cold expression painted on her face as she stood her ground._

_“Why are you so surprised?” She asked._

_Vincent had lost his words. He’d never think she was capable of doing something so insane. “But using your own child… for an experiment?” Vincent said incredulously, his crimson eyes stared at her, trying to believe it._

_Hojo let out a laugh “We’re both scientists! We know what we’re doing!”_

_“No! You’ve no idea what you’re doing!” Jocasta burst out “That’s why you’re making this experiment, to see what happens! You’ve no idea what would that mean for Lucrecia. How the foreign cells, for which we know nothing about, are gonna affect her body. A body that has not been Mako infused and you can’t expect it to be strong enough for-”_

_“Enough! You two are the last people that have any word in this! Leave us at once!” Hojo cried out at Jocasta and Vincent who were standing side by side across the table._

_Vincent let out a sigh as he locked his gaze on the floor for a second, before he raised it back at Lucrecia “But…”_

_“But what?!” Lucrecia snapped “If you have something to say, say it!”_

_Vincent hesitated, gritted his teeth for a second, realizing that the woman he’d once fallen for was no longer there. No longer existed. “Are you… are you sure this is what you really want?”_

_She remained silent for a second as she bit her lip and miserly looked over the floor, before she snapped “Am I sure? Am I sure?! If this only concerns me, then yes! I’m sure!” she shouted._

_“Oh…” Vincent remained silent for a second. His head bent over, eyes closed in sadness and disbelief “I just…” he pursed his lips when he realized there was nothing else he could say to change her mind._

“All I did was watch. I didn’t even try to stop her.

And then… then…”

He remembered her collapsing down. Clutching on her abdomen and crying out in pain. Experience visions. Visions of the future. Jocasta had told him. When he had dragged her back in his car, on their way out of the Shinra Manor, he had asked what the possible effects would be.

_“Vincent, I have no idea what else might happen to her!” Jocasta finally burst out “I- it’s… a whole new being. We know nothing about it. Four years of research are not enough. This needs decades to be studied. Heck! For all I know she might even be able to see the future if she actually gets these cells inside of her!”_

“That was my sin… and this…”

Vincent remembered the first time he’d transformed. The first time he’d looked down at himself. The first thing that he saw was his hands. Hands that he no longer recognized. Claws and skin that weren’t his. He remembered _screaming_. He remembered watching himself at the mirror and wanting to claw out his own skin. The skin of a _monster_. He had become a monster and he couldn’t admit it. At least, it took him long to admit it, because he knew he deserved it. _He had brought his beloved’s demise._

“…this is my punishment.”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Vincent found himself into a tube. He must’ve passed out and he wouldn’t be surprised. He was so exhausted after his latest transformation, back in Edge, where he fought Rosso. He was into a Mako Tube. A comma that only Mako could wake him from. He looked from outside of the glass and he recognized Shalua, typing endlessly on the keyboard of her computer.

When she realized that he had regained his senses, she jumped on her feet and walked over the control panels that stood in the lab. “Hold on. I’ll release you,”

He walked out of the tube, drenched in Mako, but it was going to dry off quickly. It always did dry off if it wasn’t kept in a certain temperature. Vincent looked around him. He couldn’t recognize the room, but it looked like a lab. He remembered he had found Jocasta. He remembered she was _alright_ and he felt his shoulders relaxing. He let out a breath of relief.

“Where am I?” Vincent asked.

Shalua’s hand reached for her glasses, further tucking them up her nose “Safe inside the WRO Headquarters. I carried you and Professor Ernchester back here, after you two collapsed,”

“Jocasta…” he looked back up at Shalua “…is she okay?”

“Looking better than you do, may I say,” Shalua commented and he chuckled. “It seems like the beast inside you went a little wild back there. This happen often?” she asked.

 _Beast?_ “Went wild? You mean Chaos?”

“Chaos?!” Shalua asked excitedly as she approached him wide eyed “You mean… you harbour the Chaos gene?!” and then she clicked her fingers as if she had realized something “Ooh! So that explains your relationship with Dr. Crescent and Professor Ernchester. Were you the product of one of their experiments?”

“Their… experiments?” Vincent had _no idea_ what she was talking about. Did both Lucrecia and Jocasta experiment on him? _What?!_

“I… apologize. That wasn’t what I meant-”

“Wait. Did Jocasta and Lucrecia research on Chaos?”

“Dr. Crescent did. As for Professor Ernchester, she only aided in _one_ of Lucrecia’s experiments. Of course, that’s not officially confirmed. But Dr. Crescent’s Thesis was entirely focused on Chaos and Omega. Don’t tell me you didn’t know,” Shalua said surprised.

He didn’t know. Lucrecia had never told him anything. Jocasta had never told him anything either. But again, she had aided in only _one experiment._ It couldn’t have been him. He was finding it too hard to consider Lucrecia experimenting on him. This couldn’t be true. Lucrecia _loved him._ She would never experiment on him as far as he knew. She would never do that. _Right?_ And Jocasta had told him nothing. Maybe she didn’t even know what Lucrecia was up to.

Shalua walked over her computer and she typed down a few things before she walked back and let him stare at the Shinra IDs of both Lucrecia and Jocasta that appeared on the computer’s creen.

“Dr. Jocasta Ernchester, Cardiologist. Shinra Class A Scientist specializing on Genetics. And Dr. Lucrecia Crescent. Shinra Class A Scientist specializing on Biotechnology. In Lucrecia’s research Thesis, ‘The Planet’s Pulse’, she refers to Chaos as one of the sentient xenoforms that resides amongst us. However, the theories that she presented in her work were so abstract and complex, that…”

But he didn’t hear the rest. He _couldn’t._ All that he could hear was Lucrecia’s voice in his mind repeating those two words. _I’m so sorry._ And maybe _now_ he knew why she just kept saying that. He knew why these were the only words that would echo out of the crystal in the cavern that he had had visited so many times. She had experimented on him. She had _used_ him to prove her Thesis. She had used his body as a host to Chaos.

He didn’t know why this thought hurt so much. He just knew that it did. He had spent thirty years blaming himself for her demise, only to find out that she had _used_ his body. Maybe Jocasta was right when she said that _Lucrecia never loved him._ Maybe she was right. It hurt to admit it. But he needed to see it for himself. He needed to see with his own eyes. He couldn’t believe it otherwise.

“Are you alright?” Shalua’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Can I see that Thesis?” He asked.

“Unfortunately, no. On top of being obscure, it was never even submitted to the Shinra database. But the only one who must know something is her foster sister. Professor Ernchester,” Shalua suggested.

“Where is she?” Vincent asked, and that moment, Hester barged into the room.

She looked stressed. Her hair was picked up in a pony tail. Her glasses rested neatly on top of her nose. She wore black pants, a dark blue shirt and her lab coat on top. She took a moment to catch her breath. She must’ve been running.

“She’s awake, but…” she hesitated and she sighed “…you better come see this,” she said.

He hurried out of the room, with Shalua following behind. Hester led them all around the endless halls and corridors of the WRO Headquarters. There were a couple of people. Soldiers and scientists, and executives, walking hurriedly around the halls. Hester led them to the upstairs labs. She opened a door with her card and the three of them proceeded in.

Sephiroth was already there, staring at the other room through the window. He had a hand by his chin as he stared at the other room sceptically. The other three arrived and looked at the window. Jocasta was sitting on her hospital bed. Her wounds had fully healed. It looked like she had torn off any needles and tubes that Hester had attached on her hands in order to _keep her alive._ Her body had already _sucked_ dry the bottles of blood that Hester had transfused into her and she was just sitting there, _waiting_.

“When the hell did she get the time to get dressed into her clothes?!” Hester asked Sephiroth.

Sephiroth shrugged “I looked away for a minute and she was already fitting daggers in her sleeves,”

Vincent proceeded immediately towards the door of the room to enter, but Sephiroth walked in the way, stopping him from moving any further.

“I don’t think going in there on your own is a good idea,” Sephiroth said warningly.

“What do you mean?” Vincent asked confusedly.

Sephiroth sighed heavily “Survivors of WRO’s squads in Edge confirmed it…” he looked up at Vincent “…she was the one who killed them…” Sephiroth crossed his hands against his chest and he looked back at Jocasta who was still in the other room “…she was the one who killed my soldiers,”

Vincent’s eyes widened. His fists clenched as he looked back at her. She was just sitting on her hospital bed and she was just waiting. _Waiting._ He couldn’t believe that. He couldn’t believe that Jocasta would just _kill_ the _innocent._ The soldiers of her friend’s organization. _No._ He couldn’t believe that. Jocasta would never do that. Jocasta would never take innocent lives.

“I need to talk to her,” Vincent insisted.

“You’re not going in there alone,” Sephiroth said shaking his head in denial. He had just found out his _father_ was alive. He wasn’t going to let him get himself killed no matter how well he could protect himself. 

“Sephiroth… it’s alright,” Hester said as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

Vincent nodded “I’m armed,” he reassured him.

It took Sephiroth a moment, before he nodded and stepped out of the way. Vincent’s hand reached for the doorknob. He opened the door and walked in. Sephiroth pressed a button on the intercom that he had in his ear. “I need four squads at standby,” he ordered and received a smack on his shoulder by Hester. “She killed my men!” Sephiroth tried to reason.

“She’s our mother!”

“She’s dangerous!”

“I don’t agree with it either, but better safe than sorry,” Shalua added.

He could tell she had noticed him being there, but she didn’t lift her head up to look at him. She was holding her dagger in her hand and for a moment, he readied himself to jump out of the way should she throw it at him. She fitted her dagger back in her sleeve and she woke up. She turned her back at him and she crossed her hands against her chest.

“I need to go back,” she said.

“Back to Deepground?”

“I can’t stay here any longer. I can’t… this wasn’t the mission,” She fisted her hands as she tried to stop them from trembling. “I’m putting you all at risk the longer I stay here-”

“Jocasta…” he sighed. She had turned her back on him. He couldn’t tell what she was feeling. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He only knew he needed answers. He needed to know _why_ she had to go back. “…what’s going on?”

She shook her head “I can’t tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because… _he’s_ listening,”

Her voice trembled and he fought the urge to approach her and find out whether she was crying or not. He fought the urge to give her the comfort that she needed so much of him. But she would deny that. She couldn’t let him hug her. She couldn’t let him touch her. She knew that _he_ was watching. _Hojo._ A single wrong move was going to bring destruction. An attack on the WRO. She couldn’t let that happen especially when Hester, Sephiroth, Reeve, Vincent were there. Vincent was there too, she couldn’t let anything bad happen to him. She couldn’t let anything bad happen to Hester. To Sephiroth. To Reeve. She had done all that Hojo had asked her to so that they wouldn’t attack that base. WRO’s HQ whose location the Deepground knew about since the very beginning.

“Vincent…” her voice trembled again and she turned and looked at him. Her grey eyes shined from the tears that she was trying so hard to keep them from rolling down her cheeks “…you need to let me go back…” he could tell her hands were shaking. She looked pale and terrified and she wouldn’t tell him why and it drove him insane watching her being like that and not being able to do something about it “…please,”

Something was definitely wrong and she was too scared to tell him, and he didn’t want to make things worse, but he couldn’t let her go back there. He couldn’t let her go back to that place. He couldn’t let her out of that room because he knew that she’d start running away. He couldn’t approach her because he knew that she’d pull away because as she had said _he was listening, he was watching. Weiss?_ He didn’t know. He needed answers and he knew that she couldn’t give him answers _there._

But he just needed to know “Did you kill those men?”

Jocasta let her hands loose and she nodded “Yes,” she blinked her tears away and pulled a cold expression on her face. She looked at the window, right back at Sephiroth and Hester, and Shalua who were waiting outside, listening to their conversation. “I was following orders,” she said coldly. _Emotionless_.

He knew that this was just a play. He spotted the cameras that were set at the corners of the room and he nodded to himself. That was just a play. She couldn’t have possibly killed all those soldiers, and if she had done it, she must’ve done it for a reason.

But then the alarms resounded, and everybody jumped in their positions. Sephiroth’s hand reached immediately for his intercom and he hurried out of the room to wherever he was asked to be.

“Stay here,” he advised Hester who nodded right away “With Valentine and Shalua, you’ll be safe,” and he hurried out of the room and downstairs with the Masamune tight in his hands.

Jocasta’s eyes widened. Her worst fears had been realized. “They’re here…” she whispered shakily and then she turned at Vincent. His hand had already reached for Cerberus. “…Sephiroth!” Jocasta cried out worriedly and she hurried outside of the room. Vincent didn’t stop her. He followed her outside. Jocasta had pulled Hester in a tight brief hug. She pulled back quickly, alarmed, but relieved that Hester was _okay, for the time being._ Jocasta cupped her daughter’s face “Stay here. Stay with Shalua, she will protect you,” she said worriedly.

Shalua pulled out her own gun and checked if it was armed. Hester nodded shakily and Jocasta turned at Vincent.

“Sephiroth… we need to keep him safe, I don’t know if he can handle Azul,” she said worriedly.

Vincent grabbed her hand “Let’s go,”

The two of them ran out of the room and down the endless corridors of the building. Reeve’s voice came from the speakers. He sounded stressed. Vincent’s hand tightened around Jocasta’s.

_“Vincent! Jocasta! The enemy has breached the front gates! Hurry!”_

The two of them reached the ground floor. Vincent let go of Jocasta’s hand and grabbed Cerberus. He started firing at the Deepground soldiers that were scattered around. There were lots of WRO recruits, shooting at the enemy, and Sephiroth was in the middle of it all, giving orders on how to shut the gates, while he sliced the Deepground soldiers with the Masamune.

Jocasta grabbed her daggers after she made sure that Sephiroth was handling his opponents with ease, and she attacked. She attacked the Deepground troops that surrounded her and started shooting a couple of bullets at her. Jocasta jumped back, she moved out of the bullets’ way, and she hid behind a large pillar that was big enough to cover her body.

Her fingers gripped around the stem of her a dagger and she threw it at one of the Deepground soldiers, right on his neck, making his blood spill out. He fell on the floor and the other four kept shooting at her, approaching her. Jocasta walked away from the pillar and she avoided with swift moves a couple of bullets that came her way. She dodged some of them with her daggers, cutting them in half, as she approached the soldiers. She created cuts on their hands, their feet, their thighs. She was so fast they couldn’t stop her.

She noticed one ready to strike her down from behind with their gun. She bowed right away and she elbowed him hard on the stomach. She turned and stabbed another soldier behind her, right in his skull. His blood spilled out and coloured her hands and her clothes. But it didn’t really matter. She had gotten used to it. She kicked him, drawing out her dagger from his skull.

She turned at the other two soldiers that attacked her. She avoided a couple of their attacks. She dodged their punches and their strikes with their electric rods. She stabbed a dagger by the one’s chest and the other right on the other’s eye. She drew her daggers out of their bodies. She gasped as a bullet found her back. Jocasta gritted her teeth as she felt her blood trickling out from a spot on her waist. She ignored the pain and she turned around shooting the dagger right between the eyes of the man who had shot her.

 _Instant death._ She was doing him a favour.

Jocasta’s hand reached for the bullet wound on her waist from behind. She dipped her fingers into it and she gritted her teeth trying to hold back a scream of pain. She spotted the bullet and she pulled it out with her own fingers, tossing it on the floor of the building. She let out a breath of relief. Taking out the bullet, was all it took for her skin to regenerate back together and heal.

But she didn’t pay much attention to the pain that radiated from there. She looked around her, noticing that Vincent was still firing at a few remaining soldiers and Sephiroth was finishing with his own. She noticed a Deepground soldier ready to stab Sephiroth from behind. Jocasta reacted quickly. She threw another dagger on his direction, stabbing it right between his eyes before he had the chance to move. Sephiroth turned around to fight him. Of course, he had noticed him being there. But he realized he was already dead and Sephiroth turned around to see who had killed him. His eyes met Jocasta’s and he let out a sigh of relief.

Sephiroth turned his attention at the WRO soldiers that were left and were waiting for orders. “I need two squads in the control room to protect the Commissioner, and two more on the Medical Levels to protect our two Chief Scientists. The rest of you, follow me,” he instructed. The soldiers saluted, accepting the orders before he left them and hurried over Jocasta and Vincent.

Sephiroth pulled Jocasta into a tight hug. He buried his face in her shoulder for a short moment, and he felt her clutching on him. He pulled back and pointed a finger at her.

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do,”

Jocasta nodded “When we deal with Azul, I will explain everything. But for now-”

“Wait… Azul’s here?” Sephiroth asked and she nodded. He turned at his soldiers and ordered them to scatter around and find him. “Alright,” he placed the Masamune back on its case on his back “We need to go find this coward,”

“General!” A soldier came hastily from the levels above. The three of them looked up at the alarmed WRO soldier “Azul’s been spotted on the Medical Levels! The squads won’t get there in time!”

Sephiroth’s eyes widened. Hester was there. Jocasta was the first to start running upstairs with Sephiroth and Vincent following closely behind, gripping on their weapons. “All forces on that man!” Sephiroth ordered and the soldier hurried right away.

Jocasta’s heart beat loudly as she climbed up the stairs, ignoring the pain on the bullet wound that she had on her back. Ignoring the sweat that ran down her forehead. She put all the strength that she had into getting there. Once Sephiroth, Jocasta and Vincent entered the room, they saw Azul’s massive hand, tight around Hester’s neck. Her fingers clutched on his, trying to stop him from tightening the grip and choking her.

Sephiroth gripped on the stem of the Masamune and tried to attack, but he stopped when Azul’s hand tightened around Hester’s neck. “Let her go,” Sephiroth growled, pointing the Masamune at the beast’s direction.

Azul laughed “Do you think this toy can penetrate my shield?” and _indeed_ he had a shield around him, a transparent one that Jocasta knew all about.

Her fingers tightened around her daggers as she got in her stance. She noticed Shalua lying passed out by the floor. They should have never left Shalua and Hester alone. Jocasta’s heart hammered against her chest as she watched her daughter being strangled and powerless to do anything about it.

“So, what’s it gonna be, Professor Ernchester? Can you bear to watch your daughter suffocate to death?” Azul asked, amused.

Jocasta knew why Azul was there. He was there to take her back to Deepground. She got off her stance and pushed her daggers away. She would gladly give her life for the people that she cared about, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

“Weiss wishes to speak to you,” Azul said looking at Jocasta’s direction.

Vincent immediately threw a protective hand over her, keeping her behind him while he glared at the massive man.

“No, it’s alright,” Jocasta said as she took Vincent’s hand and pushed it down. Vincent turned and looked at her. He knew where this was going and he _hated_ it. “I’ll go,” she said.

“No,” The words slipped out of his mouth and for a moment he didn’t care about anything else but keeping her there. Keeping her from _leaving._ He couldn’t let her go. _Not now_ that he had just found her. “I can’t let you go,” he said and he turned around to look face her.

“He’s gonna kill her,” Jocasta’s voice trembled. Tears shined in her eyes as she looked back at Azul. His hands tightened around her daughter’s neck. Jocasta couldn’t bear to watch this. She couldn’t stand idle and do nothing. Her hands found Vincent’s. The one that was passed around her and it was trying to keep her there. She tried to push him away even though she didn’t want to. Even though she wanted him to hold her and not let her go. She didn’t want to get back there. She didn’t want to get back to Deepground. But Azul was choking her daughter and she had no choice. “Let me go, Vincent,” she pleaded, but his hands were tight around her, she couldn’t move away from him, and she didn’t want to, but she had to.

Vincent knew that he had to. He knew that he had to _let her go_ but he couldn’t. He couldn’t _leave_ her not knowing if there would be a next time that he’d see her or not. He felt a pain on his chest when he let go of her waist. He drew his hands away from her and she started walking away. He looked at her leaving, walking unarmed towards the _beast_ and he could do nothing but _watch._

Just the same as back then when he could do nothing but _watch_ Lucrecia self-destruct. It was the same _now_ and _now_ he was _letting_ Jocasta leave without knowing if he’d ever get to see her again. Knowing that he would blame himself if anything happened to her, because _he is the one who lets leave. He is the one who does nothing but stand and watch her leave._ He didn’t know if he’d ever get to see her again. He didn’t know if they’d get lucky the next time. He didn’t know what _Weiss_ was planning to do to her and it drove him _insane_ because he could do _nothing but stand and watch it happen._ It was the same as back then.

Azul let go of Hester. She started coughing harshly, drawing in deep breaths to replace the missing oxygen in her lungs. Sephiroth caught her immediately, but then he looked up and saw Azul and Jocasta walking away.

And when the rest of WRO’s forces arrived, they had already left. 


	85. "Beauty" And the Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Madness' by Ruelle

Vincent knew of only one place where he would find answers. It was that cursed little town called _Nibelheim._ The place where everything began so long ago. He was going to search Jocasta’s house, then the Shinra Manor, and the basement labs. The place where he’d gone through so much pain. The place where both his and Jocasta’s screams would echo down the endless halls and corridors in the basement labs, deep beneath the mountain. That _cursed_ place that Hojo called _home_ for so long. He knew he’d get answers there. He wanted to find out what they were up to. _Deepground_. What were they trying to achieve? It was the only way to get his mind off of his worry for _her. Jocasta._

What was she doing? Was she okay? Was she in pain? She probably was. He didn't know. He hates not knowing. He hated not being able to do something about it. He hated not being there for her.

Vincent walked towards the exit of the WRO Headquarters building. He heard footsteps approaching from behind and he saw Reeve and Sephiroth stopping him.

“Where are you going?” Reeve’s voice came from behind and Vincent turned around and faced them both.

“Nibelheim,” he answered simply.

“Wait… Shinra Manor? But that is where-” Reeve tried to say and Sephiroth cut him.

“That’s where it all began. It makes sense _we_ ’ll find answers there,” Sephiroth said.

Vincent raised an eyebrow “ _We_?”

“I’m coming with you,”

“No…” Vincent shook his head. He worked better _alone_ when he knew that the only person who could get wounded was himself and he didn’t mind getting himself _killed._ But _Sephiroth_ should better stay in the HQ and stay _safe._ “…you’re needed here, kid,” Vincent said as he turned around to leave.

 _Kid?!_ Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as he stared at his _old man_ ready to exit the building but Reeve’s voice stopped him halfway the door.

“Actually, I can handle the General’s position for a few days’ time. You could use the help, Vincent,” Reeve reasoned.

Vincent stopped and let out a sigh before he turned his head and looked at both of them over his shoulder. They were waiting for an answer, but he still didn’t give one. He just turned and continued walking away.

“Was that a ‘yes’?” Sephiroth asked confusedly.

Reeve couldn’t really tell but “Yeah,” he nodded.

Sephiroth followed Vincent out of the building. He sighed when he just stood and watched Vincent as he walked on the sidewalk towards the direction that would get him to Nibelheim. He rested a hand by his waist and shook his head.

“You’re gonna _walk_ your way to Nibelheim?” Sephiroth asked incredulously.

Vincent stopped walking and he turned around facing _his son._ He didn’t really give an answer, he just shrugged.

“It’s 37 miles,” Sephiroth tried to reason.

Vincent took a moment to process the information. _That **is** far away. _But he shrugged again “I was gonna fly,”

 _Oh._ Sometimes he forgot that Vincent had Chaos inside of him and he could transform at any beast, anytime. “How about… a car?” Sephiroth suggested.

Vincent hummed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d driven a car. Except from that one time back in Cid’s wedding, which wasn’t really _driving_ since _Reeve was dragging it with his own._ “I haven’t driven in a while,” 

“I’ll drive,” Sephiroth said as he took out his keys and he walked towards his car, that had the WRO sign on it.

“You… drive?”

Sephiroth couldn’t understand _why_ Vincent looked so surprised. _Sure,_ he never had a father who would _teach him_ how to drive, but he had numerous teachers back in Shinra. He shot Vincent an incredulous look and he sighed “I’m thirty-three years old, I’m sure I know how to do that,” it felt like Vincent needed a reminder.

_Oh._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Blood slipped out of her lips, falling on the metallic floor. Her hands fisted as she tried to pick herself back up, but the pain radiated harshly from her fresh wounds. She was sure she was bruised all over. Being cast and crashed on the walls, and landing down on her knees. Her hand shakily clutched on her stomach. _It hurt._ She made sure she ignored the pain and the blood that wouldn’t stop filling her mouth. She was probably experiencing internal haemorrhages, but _thank Holy_ her self-healing helped to deal with those.

She gasped for air as she pulled herself back up. She spat the blood on the floor and ran her tongue all over her bloody teeth. She laughed. It was _funny._ This was her life _now._ Hojo had tried _everything_ he could to pull Omega out of her and his last resort was having Azul _beating_ her up so that she would _transform_ into her demon. But Omega hadn’t reached out to her for transformation ever since she was brought there. It didn’t want to come out. It was _afraid?_ She couldn’t say.

“You’re enjoying the pain, huh?” Azul asked as he hurried towards her “I’ll make sure to give it to you,”

Jocasta moved out of the way swiftly no matter how much her muscles ached, and her legs felt wobbly ready to let go of her and collapse. He tried to hit her again but she slipped beneath his feet and he let out a groan of exasperation. She wasn’t so fast the next time. He caught her and tossed her by the opposite wall. She gasped as her back hit hard against the cement. She was sure she had made the bricks bulge a little. The pain spread on her back and Jocasta landed on her knees. Her hand reached for her temple. She felt something hot trickling out of her skull. She touched it with her finger and she brought it up to look at it. It was her blood. She laughed again. It was driving him insane.

“What are you laughing at?!” He demanded.

Jocasta’s fingers fisted as she tried to pull herself back up on her wobbly feet. Her hand reached for the wall that she had ruined. She reached for support. Her body ached. Her other hand reached for her stomach. She clutched on it trying to stop the insistent pain. She breathed hard, but she kept laughing. Her eyes spotted the cameras that were set around the room. She knew Hojo was watching.

“Beat me… all you want… Omega’s… not coming out,”

“Why you little-”

“That’s enough, Azul,” Weiss’s voice came from behind as he entered the room “I’ll handle her from here,” Azul nodded before he exited the room and shut the door behind. Weiss approached her and she knew that he was no more than a puppet. Just a body that harboured Hojo’s data fragments.

She pointed a shaky finger at him and she laughed “You… you’ll never become… a better scientist... than me,” she breathed hard. Her fingers clutched on the wall trying to keep herself up.

Hojo’s hologram appeared and he scoffed “Oh really?! Look at my lovely creations! What have you created, Doctor?! Nothing! Healing? Ha! Who cares about healing if somebody’s _unbreakable?_ Hmm?”

Weiss’s body just stood there, emotionless, waiting for his master’s orders, while Hojo’s hologram paced around angrily.

“You did not deserve to be head of R&D and you know it! If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have-”

“Silence!” Hojo cried out angrily and Weiss walked towards her and wrapped his hand around her neck and squeezed.

Jocasta gasped. Her fingers reached for the man’s hand, trying to stop him, but he just tightened and tightened his fingers around her neck, until he lifted her up. Her feet trembled at the absence of somewhere to stand on. Her eyes widened alarmingly, but she was too weak to move. Too weak to attack. Too bruised and beaten to do anything but let him.

“Discoveries, discoveries, discoveries! Always so many of them, you drove me insane! You and I could have solved the most unsolvable mysteries of JENOVA's, Chaos’s, Omega’s, but you were just so, so, so difficult!” Hojo’s hologram paced around, angry. He was angry. He was _furious_ but he clicked his fingers, urging Weiss to let her go.

Jocasta landed on her knees. Her hands found her neck as she started coughing harshly. Her fingers traced the aching new bruises on her skin as she tried to suck in deep breaths and fill her lungs with the oxygen that they lacked. Hojo’s hologram approached her and knelt down beside her.

“We could’ve done so many things together, Doctor. But instead, you chose Tedric over me, who didn’t even have half the brains that I did! And I had no choice but to take him out of the way-”

“You were the one… who ordered to have him killed, weren’t you?” Jocasta asked breathlessly. Despite all the pain, she looked up at the hologram of the man that she loathed with all her might. But it made sense.

“You gave me no choice, Doctor, and then I had to marry that insane woman to proceed with my experiment!” Hojo said.

Jocasta chuckled _well, she was insane_ “That’s one thing we agree on, _Professor_. But if you wanted to work with me, you could’ve just… asked, you know?”

“I did! I did ask you to help me with my experiment on Lucrecia, but you refused! The only way to work with you was _force_ you into it! And I wanted you to keep working with me! Why do you think I kept letting you sneaking into Sephiroth’s room every night to make sure than he’d sleep?! He was the only reason that was keeping you there with me!”

“You killed my fiancé, you killed my sister, you shot Vincent, you killed Gast and Ifalna! You tied me down and experimented on me! Why in the world would I want to be with you?!”

“Experimented on you!? I improved you! I’m the reason you’re still alive, Jocasta! I’m the reason your _beloved Turk_ survived what Lucrecia did to him! And what do I keep getting from you?! The blame! The blame, the blame, the blame for everything! Throw the blame on Hojo! The poor boy that was cast aside by his own parents. My own wife cast me aside in the end and now you cast me aside too, andyou choose _the Turk_ over _me_ just like my own wife did!” Hojo stood back up and his hands found his hair, clutching in them before he stopped pacing for a moment and he pointed a finger at Weiss “Is that a body that would have kept her satisfied? Is that a body that would've kept _you_ satisfied?! Huh?! Is that someone than can keep you here?!”

Jocasta just took a moment to stare at him trying to find out if what he had just said, he meant it. She could’ve never thought that Hojo _needed_ her like that. That he _needed_ Lucrecia like that. She just thought his marriage with Lucrecia was just a deal. A _favour_ for her to have an excuse of who's the father of the child that she carried. An excuse for her to not be with Vincent. But she never knew that Hojo wanted her _instead of Lucrecia_. And even if she knew she would have never gotten to him, but… she had been working with him for so many years. She was aware that he was the smartest one in their little team, but he’d never _tried_ to approach her, to get close. He never even talked to her. He was always the silent one.

Maybe if she wasn’t so fixated on hiding from him, she could’ve just been there for him because he couldn’t discriminate the difference between good and bad. If she knew she would’ve _helped him by being there. Help Hojo?_ She knew it sounded crazy, but he wasn’t always like that. He mustn’t have always been _insane_. She knew that he must’ve had a horrible childhood. One that he’d never talk about, but if he’d just let her _know,_ if he’d just open _for once…_ Maybe if she had done something differently, things would have been so much _different._

“Did you think that I wouldn’t want you if you tried to approach me? You never talked. You never opened up, Hojo, but Tedric did. And we got close and I fell for him, but you never tried. Instead, you made my life a living hell. And now what do you want me to do? Fall for you? Or you’ll just keep me locked in here for the rest of our lives and wait for that to happen?” she said and she watched him as he turned his back on her while he dipped his hands in the pockets of his lab-coat.

Hojo didn’t give her an answer which was a sign of _confusion? Regret? Guilt?_ She couldn’t say. His hologram disappeared and a couple of Deepground Doctors rushed in the room picking her up.

And then Hojo ordered through Weiss “I want you to have her wounds treated by nightfall,”


	86. The Shinra Manor, A Cursed Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter: 'The Music of Goodbye' by John Barry

Sephiroth drove and Vincent sat on the passenger’s seat beside him in silence. Sephiroth could tell that he was deep in thought so he didn’t really make any effort to initiate a conversation. Even if he would, he didn’t know what they could talk about. He just focused his attention on the road ahead.

Vincent just stared out of the window and tried not to worry too much. He knew that the only thing that he could do was find Lucrecia’s Thesis, and piece it all back together. He knew he could find the answers that he sought in Nibelheim. He knew he could find out what Deepground was up to if only he got his hands on that Thesis. And then, they’d be able to attack Deepground and stop them and _save her._ Because he wouldn’t be able to save her otherwise.

“I just got a report that Deepground troops have deployed in Nibelheim. We’re gonna have to use the old sewer system extending from the old Mako Reactor,” Sephiroth said.

Vincent chuckled “Sewer system… how appropriate is that?” he said sarcastically.

And then he slipped back into staring outside the window and _thinking._ Sephiroth knew he was probably thinking about Jocasta. He knew he’d be worried. He was worried too. He just wanted to find out what Deepground was up to, and go get her out of there. 

“She gave her life for Hester,” Sephiroth said after a long moment of silence, and he wasn’t sure if he’d just thought it or actually said it out loud.

“She’s her daughter. Of course, she did,” Vincent said.

“Would you do the same?” Sephiroth asked and he almost wanted to scold at himself for asking that.

He didn’t know what drove him to let these words out, he just knew he wasn’t fast enough to stop himself. What was he trying to achieve? He never had a father even though he wanted to. At least not somebody who wished to be his. He and Vincent hadn’t sat down to talk about it. Even if they did, what would they say?

But Vincent looked at him for a moment. He knew what he meant and he tried to imagine what he would do should he find Sephiroth in danger. Of course, he would help him. Of course, he would jump in the way of any threat that would come right at him. He was his _son_ no matter how difficult it was to believe it. He wasn’t there for him the first thirty years of his life and he felt guilt for that. He hadn’t known. No one had ever told him. Jocasta hadn’t told him either. And that was why he was mad at her, but he’d let go of that anger because he couldn’t get himself to be angry at her. He loved her.

“I would,” Vincent finally said and he could tell that Sephiroth was looking at him surprised for a moment before he turned his attention back on the road. “You’re the only thing I have left of your mother. Believe it or not, I loved her,”

But _now_ he didn’t know if he felt that love all the same. Lucrecia had experimented on him. She had condemned him a life where he did nothing but constantly fight his demons and his beasts that they wouldn’t stop trying to get control over his body. He would hate every time that he’d have to transform. Every night that he’d lie down to rest and be terrified to close his eyes, afraid of the nightmares. He didn’t want this life. He didn’t want to live like _this._ He felt so _foolish_ to blame himself _thirty years now_ for Lucrecia’s demise, only to find out that she had _condemned_ him in that life. He didn’t know what to feel about this. He needed answers.

But he did not think of it as much as he should. All that he could think of was Jocasta. Was she okay? What was she doing? Was she in pain? What were they doing to her? It drove him insane not knowing. Not being able to do something about it but _leave her._

Sephiroth opened his mouth to speak, but he realized they had finally arrived. Nibelheim rested one or two kilometres away, and Sephiroth pulled over the car. They were going to proceed through the sewer systems at the lower levels of the abandoned Mako Reactor.

After dealing with a couple of Sahagins in the sewers, Vincent and Sephiroth made their way to the Shinra Manor. Sephiroth chuckled bitterly. He remembered the library. That was the place where he’d been the most vulnerable, giving JENOVA the window of opportunity to bend his mind to her will and use him to achieve whatever she wanted to achieve. He hated that place. He hated being there, but he knew they had a reason to be there. He should ignore his hate for that place and just focus on the task at hand. He let Vincent guide him through the basement corridors. He seemed to know them better than he did.

They found the library. It was emptier than Vincent remembered it. It would make sense that Shinra would come back to scavenge all they could and cover it all up. But there were still a few shelves with a few books and folders. The scent of moisture gathered in the air. The walls were almost wet from it. Whatever books and folders were left, they would get ruined and rotted by it and maybe that’s why Shinra had left them down there.

A shining blue orb rolled on the floor towards them. “It looks like a Materia,” Sephiroth said “Maybe it’s dangerous. You shouldn’t touch-” but then he cut himself when he realized that Vincent had already bent on one knee and he was already holding it “…it,” Sephiroth sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose suppressing the frustration.

But then Vincent turned around and for a moment, Sephiroth thought that he was staring at him, but then he turned around and he saw a woman. Sephiroth’s eyes widened for a moment. It was the woman that he had seen crystallized in the Mako crystals of that cave. She was wearing a blue shirt, a dark blue skirt, red heels, and a lab-coat on top. She looked so much like him. Her hair, her face, her lips, her chin.

“Lucrecia…” Vincent mumbled.

She didn’t look good. She looked exhausted. Her hands were gathered in front of her, gripping tightly onto each other. Maybe she was in pain. Pain that she was suppressing.

“Vincent Valentine… right? Have you come… to check up on me?” she asked.

And when she began walking towards him, Sephiroth moved out of the way immediately. Vincent’s hands reached for her waist, but she passed right through him. It was a hologram. She wasn’t real. Vincent turned around. Both he and his son stared at the hologram as she spoke. Sephiroth found that Vincent was right. They did have the same hair. The same face. He had so many things of hers _but her love._ It was unbelievable to think that the first time he actually met his _mother,_ his _real mother,_ it was nothing but a hologram. Sephiroth shook his head. She wasn’t his mother. She had condemned him to that fate. Thirty years of hell. _What kind of mother is that?_

“Omega… his awakening is upon us…

> _Soul wrought of terra corrupt,  
>  _ _quelling impurity, purging the stream_  
>  _to beckon forth and ultimate fate  
>  _ _Behold mighty Chaos  
>  _ _Omega’s squire to the lofty heavens._

…I came across this passage while studying the Scriptures of the Ancients. _Omega_. The end. Just as all other sentient beings, he too, is born of the Lifestream. However, his only purpose is to cleanse the Planet of all things living and lead their immortal souls through the abyssal aether to a new beginning far, far beyond the never-ending sea of stars. Just as life circulates through our Planet, so too, does out Planet through the Universe. Or at least in theory…

…I will leave a copy of my records for you, Vincent. Though, I cannot imagine what help they might be, if any at all,” Lucrecia explained. She locked her gaze on the floor. Her lips trembled. Her hands tightened around each other. Vincent recognized that. She was trying to keep herself from crying “Just remember…” her voice trembled “… _I’m so sorry_ ,” those last words came with a sob, and she buried her face in her hands. And that’s where the hologram ended and the Materia in Vincent’s hand faded away.

Vincent just stood there frozen. He wanted to grab her. He wanted to hug her and keep her from crying because he always hated watching her being like this. He knew that she must have experimented on him. He knew that maybe what Jocasta had told him was true. But his heart still ached for her. And _it hurt._ It hurt because things turned out like this.

He made a step forward, calling out her name even though he knew it was for nothing. He gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the _pain._ He’d lost her. Just like he was afraid he was losing Jocasta. _The pain._ He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned and looked at Sephiroth. He gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before he turned around and looked over the old wooden table. A red card stood there, containing all of the data files of Lucrecia’s Thesis. He took it and stuffed it in his pocket.

“Let’s go,”

They both walked out of the library. Sephiroth had proceeded to leave, since they had found what they had been looking for, but he turned around and noticed Vincent entering another room. Sephiroth sighed as he followed him into that other room. It looked like a lab. Old machines and control panels and computers were attached to the walls and there was a Mako Tube right in the middle of it. The green glow of the Mako was bright to bring enough light in the room.

Vincent looked all around the room. It looked familiar. It was Lucrecia’s lab. He had been there before. And then he felt the pain. Stinging pain from a spot on his chest that made his feet let go of him. Vincent collapsed on his knees and his hand clutched on his chest. He let out a grunt and shut his eyes.

“Valentine!” He heard Sephiroth’s footsteps as he hurried towards him and knelt beside him on the floor. Sephiroth’s hand found his shoulder as he stared down at his father worriedly.

But Vincent started remembering. Old memories. Memories that he didn’t even know that he had. _All he heard was shouting, but he recognized the voices._

_He heard shouts and footsteps and crying. He opened his eyes. He was in that Mako Tube in that very same lab, weak and unable to move, unable to react. He could do nothing but watch. It was Jocasta and Lucrecia. Both in their lab-coats._

_“What did you do to him!? What happened?! Answer me!”_

_“I didn’t do it! Hojo… h- he… he shot him!”_

_“And you… what are you doing to him?!”_

_“I… I’m trying to save him,”_

_“He is dead! Look at him!” Jocasta cried out angrily as she pointed a finger at him. “Let him rest! Let him go, dammit!”_

_“I can’t!” Lucrecia shouted “I can’t! I can’t, I can’t!” her fingers dug in her skull as another series of sobs escaped her chest._

_“Well, that’s just fucking terrific! Don’t you think you should have thought of that when you decided to marry Hojo?! Huh?!” Jocasta pressed._

_“Joe! Please… please stop… Joe… I need to save him… he deserves to live… I don’t,”_

_“Don’t say that-”_

_“Help me save him. Please… Joe, I found the way to bring him back… I… Chaos… I put him inside of Vincent’s body. And it worked! It worked! The decaying stopped,”_

_“You put a demon inside his body-”_

_“I know it sounds like I’m just trying to prove my thesis but… I’m not! I swear! I’m trying to save him! He is not dead! He’s comatose. But it worked! Jocasta, it worked!”_

_“At what cost?! He’s gonna suffer a life continuously fighting a beast! A demon resides in his very own body, and you put it there!”_

_“I know! …I know it’s all my fault!”_

“This… this pain…” Vincent mumbled.

Maybe all Lucrecia wanted was to save him because _she_ was the reason he had died. But Jocasta was right. _At what cost?_ He had never asked to be _saved._ He had never asked of _this_ life. He had spent thirty years in a coffin wishing that he’d die, but instead, he was alive and doomed to live _eternally_ like _this._

Vincent pulled himself together and he turned and gave Sephiroth a reassuring nod. He couldn’t think about these _now._ They had other tasks at hand. He had to find Jocasta. That’s all it mattered. He stood back to his feet, with a little bit of help from Sephiroth.

“Well, well, we meet again…” A voice came from behind on a heavy accent that both Vincent and Sephiroth recognized. Sephiroth drew out his sword immediately and got in his stance, whereas Vincent’s hand reached for Cerberus. He grabbed it, ready to target Rosso “…This is perfect. I so wanted to see you, my love,” and then she looked over at Sephiroth “Is that your son? Charmed,” she laughed.

“Deepground. What are they intending to do with Omega?!” Sephiroth demanded.

“I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care,” Rosso shrugged.

“What?” Vincent asked confusedly.

“This is what Weiss desires, and if Weiss desires the awakening of Omega, this is what all of Deepground desires. Even though, extracting Omega from the specimen has been a little bit tricky,” Rosso laughed “The way she pleads while I dig my sword into her skin, sends a shiver down my body,”

Sephiroth’s hands tightened around the Masamune and he got in his stance “Enough,”

Vincent pointed Cerberus at her “Where is she?!” he demanded.

“Ooh, you want her?” Rosso laughed as she made a step back by the exit of the lab “Come and get her,” she jumped out of the room and by the time Sephiroth and Vincent walked out, she had disappeared.

A machinery of Deepground’s attacked them. Sephiroth dodged the bullets that it shot at them and he turned at Vincent “Go get her, I got this,” he said. Vincent hesitated to leave his son fight this alone, but he nodded and hurried away while Sephiroth kept the robot busy.

He walked out of the basement labs hastily until he reached the main building. Abandoned and ruined with greenery already growing on the inside. A Black Widow attacked Vincent. A machinery that used to be Shinra’s and _now_ Deepground’s. Vincent moved out of the way as it threw bombs at him that further ruined the building. Vincent started shooting at it with Cerberus’s thick bullets that were doing a pretty good job at penetrating his shield.

Vincent’s bullets damaged it and cut through its machinery and the cables beneath. It didn’t take long when the robot collapsed. Vincent rolled Cerberus between his fingers before he settled it back in its case by his thigh and he turned around to look for Rosso.

When he turned around, he realized somebody was rushing towards him and before he had the chance to react and grab Cerberus, the claws of her gauntlet dug deep into his chest, slicing through his skin. He felt his blood trickling out. He lost his breath as the pain spread all over his body. His hand reached for hers as he gasped for breath.

He looked up and his eyes widened. _Jocasta._ She had a painful expression on her face. Tears shined into her grey eyes as she looked down at him and gritted her teeth. Her hand was stabbed in his chest. She watched him being in pain. Pain that she was the one causing to him. She saw the betrayal in his eyes while his fingers trembled around her wrist and he looked at her in pain and disbelief and sorrow, confusion, betrayal. Why was she doing that? Why was she hurting him? Why? He loved her. _Why?_

She shook her head. A tear slipped down her cheek. _No._ She was regretting this. She hated doing that, he could pretty much tell. She was being forced. Just like she was being forced to kill all of those WRO soldiers. She didn’t want this.

“I’m so sorry,” her voice trembled, and then she jerked her hand out of his body, and it felt like she was tearing his heart off his chest. Vincent collapsed on the floor. The pain was too intense, but not because of that missing piece on his chest, but because she had done this. Jocasta had hurt him. He heard her sobbing. He tried to look up at her with all the strength that he had. His hands fisted as he tried to muffle groans of pain and he looked at Jocasta.

She was crying. Rosso approached and grabbed the white, glowing orb that Jocasta held on her hand. Rosso’s laughter echoed in his ears and he watched Jocasta crashing back on her knees and burying her face in her hands, weeping against them.

“So, so weak,” Rosso jerked out her sword as she fitted the Materia on a pocket “You never belonged in Deepground, anyway,” she laughed “Well no matter, _Doctor_ ,” she said mockingly as she drew her sword back “Your services are no longer required,” and in a blink of an eye, she stabbed her.

Jocasta’s cry was all that made his fingers clench into fists. Vincent tried to stand up. He had to stand up and fight her, and protect Jocasta. He had to _move_ but he couldn’t. The pain on his chest was so intense. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t react. He just watched Jocasta collapsing nearby him with her hands tightening around the crimson sword that entered from her back and extended from her stomach.

 _No._ Vincent tried to crawl towards her. He was too weak. He was too unable to move, to react, to attack, to defend them both. He crawled towards her with all the strength that he had. Rosso pulled the sword out from her body and she collapsed down with her eyes open, staring blankly. Her fingers had already loosened their grasp from around the wound on her stomach. Her blood had trickled out, along with a drop of blood that had already started drying off on her lip.

His trembling hand found her face. She was cold and pale, and _no,_ she couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t be. He brought her closer with all the strength that he had. He let out wince, but he settled his hands around her limp body he looked down at her and checked on her pulse.

And for a moment he waited for Rosso to kill him too. To stab him through the chest and let them both die there. He waited to die there with her. It sounded like the _sweetest_ end that he could have in his story. He too lost his senses at some point, lying down beside her. He caught her hand and her fingers gave his a gentle squeeze. Her eyes moved up at his. She gave him a smile that she could barely manage. He laced their fingers together and for a moment her eyes drifted away from his, and her fingers loosened from around his. And that’s where he lost his senses and slipped into the dark abyss of unconsciousness. It didn’t really matter whether he’d wake up or not.

He was holding her hand.


	87. Explanations

_Lights. Bright lights penetrated his eyelashes and hit ruthlessly on his half-lidded eyes. He couldn’t open them. He couldn’t move. His limbs did not answer to the commands of his mind, to move, to react. But he wasn’t tied down. He couldn’t feel anything. He could hear, though. The only thing he could do, was hear the familiar voices of the two women._

_“Sephiroth… my son… our son…” Lucrecia’s eyes fell on Vincent. He was still unconscious. He couldn’t have heard her…_

**_…or so she thought._ **

_He could hear everything. That was Lucrecia’s voice and he recognized it immediately. He felt a cold touch on his cheek. Lucrecia’s fingers. They brushed his cold cheek._

_“Vincent’s… the father?” That was Jocasta’s voice “Does Hojo know about this?!”_

_“Hojo and I were never sexually involved. He offered to marry me and claim the child as his and at the time I thought he was doing me a favour but-”_

_“A favour?! What is wrong with you?! You left the father of your child to marry another man and you call that a favour?!” Jocasta cried out._

_“I never wanted him to be the father of my child! I never wanted any of this! I loved him! But I loved him because I was trying to make up for the guilt that came from killing his father!” Lucrecia finally confessed._

_Pain. Vincent remembered that he felt pain. Those words hurt harsher than Hojo’s lancets. Jocasta was right all along. Lucrecia never loved him. It was all an act out of guilt and regret. That’s why Lucrecia and Hojo never hesitated to experiment on the boy. It wasn’t theirs. Lucrecia never wanted him in the first place._

_“You did not make up for anything. You’re hurting him even more. He has a right to know he has a child!”_

_Tears slipped down Lucrecia’s eyes as she buried her face in her hands and she shook her head “No… it’s too late now… Hojo’s got my son… our son… he’ll never let him go!”_

_Jocasta’s answer took a long moment to come. Vincent had barely heard her leaving out sigh “I save Vincent and it’s the last thing I do for you, Lucrecia. I’m going to get my job back in Shinra and work with Hojo only to keep an eye on Sephiroth. But I will not do it for you. I will do it for Vincent.”_

_Memories_. Memories he never knew he even had. But so many things had taken place afterwards, that he never even got the time to ponder on them. But he had heard them. He was comatose, and the two of them were working on something on his chest, but he had heard that conversation and it was _now_ coming back to him. Jocasta hadn’t known about Sephiroth until then, so it made sense that she wouldn’t get the chance to ever tell him.

But Jocasta was _right_. Lucrecia never actually _loved him._ She never even said those _three_ words. Those hugs and those kisses, and all those picnics. All that _intimacy_. All acts out of guilt and regret. She never wanted his child. She never wanted _him._ That’s why she had married Hojo. That’s why she had _ran away._ That’s why she kept saying _I’m so sorry._ She had experimented on him. She had broken his heart because she just _never_ wanted _him._

She had hurt him so, so much. And maybe that was the pain that he felt, both physically and mentally.

Vincent’s eyes took a minute or two to adjust to the lights. The lights of a truck. He looked up. It did look like one of WRO’s trucks. And then he remembered what had happened. He remembered watching Jocasta being stabbed. He remembered Jocasta tearing something out of his chest. Something that she was forced to do. There was no other explanation. He couldn’t believe that Jocasta would hurt him intentionally. And maybe that’s why, after that, Rosso had stabbed her and they both had passed out in the middle of the Shinra Manor.

He noticed he was lying on the seats of the truck. The pain on his chest stung, and for a moment, he didn’t even dare to move. He looked around the truck. He noticed Jocasta’s body lying unconsciously on the opposite seats. Sephiroth was standing silently beside her, with his hands crossed against his chest, and a mysterious ninja, covered in her Wutai hat, as she paced around nervously.

When she noticed him finally opening his eyes, she stopped pacing and she waved at him. “Goodmornin’!”

He raised an eyebrow “Who are you?” Vincent asked.

She placed a foot on the blank seats “I am the Champion of the earth and sky! I am the conqueror of evil! The single white rose of Wutai! I am-”

“It’s Yuffie,” Sephiroth informed him simply and she groaned irritatingly.

Yuffie took off her hat and tossed it on the floor “Don’t you know the significance of a dramatic entrance?!”

“How about a dramatic exit?” Sephiroth asked sarcastically and then he cringed as he watched the clumsy ninja stumbling on her feet, and falling back, hitting her head on the controls. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to suppress the frustration. _I fuckin’ hate teenagers._

“OW!” Yuffie fell back on her bum and her hands reached for her head, rubbing the pain away.

“Oh, Yuffie…” Vincent said as if he’d just realized that it was her “…nice to see you,”

Yuffie groaned and she jumped back to her feet. She frowned “Can’t you two at least try to be a little bit sympathetic? I saved your asses! Don’t I get any thanks?”

“ _We_ saved their asses,” Sephiroth corrected her.

“Right. I couldn’t have picked you both up. But if it weren’t for my _sweet_ Wutai flee,” she laughed as she placed her hands by her waist.

Sephiroth shrugged “True,”

Vincent chuckled “Thanks… Yuffie,”

Her eyes widened as she shook her hands. A blush creeped across her face as she looked down at the gunslinger “No, no, no! Don’t take me so seriously!” Her hand reached for her head again and she winced “Damn,”

“Want me to have a look at it, kid?” Jocasta’s voice came from the side. She winced as she tried to sit. Sephiroth immediately helped her settle her body on a sitting position. He passed his hands around her and he sat beside her, keeping her body steady.

“Holy Mother of Leviathan! Dramaqueen’s alive!” Yuffie jumped excitedly and Jocasta groaned at Yuffie’s _ridiculously_ high levels of _energy_.

“How’re you feeling?” Sephiroth asked worriedly “I transmitted you the serum, but I haven’t checked up on the wounds, so I don’t know if you feel any pain or-”

“It’s alright,” Jocasta chuckled at his worry and she took Sephiroth’s hand in hers “I’m okay…” her hand reached for the stab wound that no longer existed “…the stab wound has healed. I don’t know about the rest though,” she pulled him into a hug, that he gladly accepted. She closed her eyes for a moment, caressing his back “I missed you, Seph,”

He chuckled against her shoulder “I missed you too,” he pulled back to look at her. He opened his mouth to speak, but Yuffie was already pulling her into a hug.

Jocasta chuckled. She couldn’t believe she had missed the ninja girl that always seemed to get on her nerves. She hugged her back briefly, before Yuffie pulled back and turned at both Vincent and Jocasta. Sephiroth was already helping Vincent settle on a sitting position. Vincent just nodded gratefully at his son, before Sephiroth settled beside him on the seats.

“You two take it easy,” Sephiroth instructed.

“Yeah! I seriously thought you two were goners!” Yuffie rubbed her nose, sniffing “But then your wounds healed right up,”

“It was the serum, Yuffie,” Sephiroth reminded.

“Ah yes!”

“Where did you guys find my serum?” Jocasta asked.

“Every truck of WRO’s carries a few bottles,” Sephiroth answered.

“Oh,” Jocasta nodded and Yuffie sat beside her, tapping her feet energetically on the metallic floor of the truck.

“Jocasta,” Vincent finally spoke. He seemed deep in thought ever since he regained his senses. “What’s going on?” he asked the question that they all needed answered.

Jocasta sighed “The first few months… Hojo… experimented on me-”

“Hojo?!” Yuffie cried out, wide-eyed.

“Yeah… He’s alive…” Jocasta chuckled bitterly as she buried her face in her hands and she rubbed her forehead “…he blackmailed Hester to transfer his data fragments on the network right before Meteorfall,”

“The network was restored a few weeks ago,” Sephiroth said.

“Yeah,” Jocasta nodded “Big mistake,” she shook her head “That’s why he’s gonna act now. He has access everywhere,”

“What is he planning to do?” Sephiroth asked.

“So, he experimented on me, because, it turns out, my demon is Omega, or at least, I harbour a part of it. But he failed to take it out of me. And then he asked me to become one of the TSVIETs and do his dirty work or else, he’d hurt Hester, and he’d attack the WRO and he’d hurt you both and I just couldn’t…” Jocasta buried her face in her hands, she breathed shakily “…I couldn’t not do what he asked when he threatened that he’d… he’d-” but then that lump formed in her throat and the only thing that went out was a sob and a couple of tears streamed down her cheeks.

She felt arms slipping around her and pressing her against him. She recognized the leather shirt with the buckles, and that crimson cloak that slithered around her. Her hands reached for the buckles and she tugged on them bringing him closer. She wept against his chest as she felt the weight of his cheek pressing on top of her head. Vincent buried his face on top of her hair, drawing in her scent, and sighing. He had missed her. He had missed holding her like that. With her body pressed against his, and her fingers pulling on the buckles of his shirt.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Vincent, but if I wouldn’t, he would… he would-” she shut her eyes, pressing her face on his chest and finally, after _so long,_ she was _free._

She no longer had to go back to Deepground. She no longer had to do whatever Hojo would ask of her. Vincent was holding her, and he was holding her tightly, but she still felt the guilt. She had killed so many people. She had torn the Protomateria from his chest and she still hadn’t explained him that, but she would.

“It’s okay,” His lips found her temple, pressing a gentle kiss on it.

It all made sense _now._ He knew that Jocasta would never do any of these unless there was a reason. She had tried to protect her children and that’s exactly what every other mother _should_ do. He looked up at Sephiroth and Yuffie. Sephiroth had crossed his arms against his chest, sighing, and Yuffie, _for once,_ wasn’t jumping around. She was just staring sadly on the floor.

Jocasta shook in his arms and he couldn’t help but feel anger. If Hojo was around _now_ he would tear him into pieces. _Oh_ he was going to do that. She must have suffered so much. She must’ve had so many new scars. It made his heart ache, and his hands tightened around her. It didn’t matter anymore. She was there _now_ and she was safe, and everything was going to be _okay._ She was _safe, she felt safe_ because _he_ was holding her.

She had sacrificed so much to keep Hester and Sephiroth safe. And then he remembered the memory that he had just retrieved a few minutes ago. He remembered that Jocasta had quit working for Shinra, but she went back there again, and risked her life so that she would keep an eye on Sephiroth. _His son_. She had cared for his son more than his own mother had. She had gotten herself experimented on and turned into a specimen while trying to _keep his son safe_.

Vincent pulled back to look at her. He wiped her tears with his thumb and pressed his forehead against hers. He looked down at her and he had forgotten how much he had missed having her this close. Having her _there._ He felt her breaths brushing against his lips and he leaned in and kissed her eyelashes, tasting her salty tears.

“I love you,” his voice came out as a whisper, but she heard him and a smile caught her lips.

A smile that he had missed so much seeing on her, it made his heart flutter. Her hands found his face and his eyes closed as he felt that gentle touch of her fingers on his cheeks. He hadn’t felt that touch for so long. He almost shuddered. 

“I love you too,” She breathed shakily as she looked up at him. At the way that he savoured her touch, closing his eyes, and feeling every little bit of it. He _needed_ her so much and she _needed_ him _so much_. She couldn’t tell how much they depended on each other.

He caught her lips and they both shuddered. She felt his lips pressing wetly against hers, before his tongue pushed in and she sighed, finally meeting his taste with her tongue. Her hands slipped over his hair and his fingers clutched on the fabric of her shirt, bringing her closer. His one hand reached for her face. She felt his fingers spreading on her cheek and down her neck, keeping her head steady as he lapped his tongue against hers. He could never get enough of that.

They had missed this so much. He had missed her taste, her scent, her touch, her body pressing against his. He was never going to let her out of his sight ever again. Keeping her safe was all that he wanted to do. For _now,_ and _forever._

He pulled back to look down at her. She had stopped crying. She had stopped shaking. He felt so happy that he had gotten her to calm down, and she just looked up at him, with her grey eyes that he so much loved. She pulled a messy dark lock of hair away from his face so that she could look clearly up at him. She brushed her nose against his and she smiled. His lips quirked up in a smile. _Almost._ But it was enough.

Sephiroth cleared his throat, to attract both their attentions and pull away from each other, but he received a smack on his shoulder by Yuffie “Nooooo let them have their moment,”

“We’re heading back to the HQ,” Sephiroth ignored the young ninja and the other two nodded. “I sent the data files back to base. Reeve sent Cait to check out Midgar. With everything that you know and whatever those files got, we should be able pull the pieces together and find out what Deepground’s up to,” Sephiroth said.

“I know Deepground. I can get you guys there,” Jocasta said.

Sephiroth nodded “Reeve’s gathering all forces. We’ll launch a full attack on Deepground. But for now, we should head back to base,”

“Now it’s time to give them a taste of pain a la Yuffie!” The young ninja cried out excitedly “Just give me three minutes with those guys. No, make them two… well maybe three… or four… well it really depends on how many of them there are…”


	88. The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter 'Beating Heart' by Ellie Goulding

When they reached the WRO headquarters, the entire team was gathered there. Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Reeve, Cid. They gathered around and let Jocasta explain it all. She told them about her time in Deepground. She told them about Omega, and Chaos, and Lucrecia’s Thesis. Hojo would always read aloud Lucrecia’s Thesis whenever he’d experiment on her. She had almost memorized it all.

They loaded the data from Lucrecia’s Thesis into a projection. Omega. _The end._ And Chaos. Its sole purpose was to gather all Lifestream from a Planet and hand it to Omega so that it could carry it to another Planet. Omega was being awakened by the immense flow of Lifestream, and maybe that’s why, Deepground was murdering people massively, to create pure Lifestream and awake Omega. Jocasta only harboured a part of Omega’s. Which remained silent so long as Vincent was around.

Jocasta explained to them about the Protomateria. The only Materia that could contain Omega. But Deepground had it, and Jocasta felt terrible to know that she was the one who gave it to them. She knew she couldn’t do otherwise, and her friends tried to let her know that it _just wasn’t her fault._ But she knew that it was. _Always so weak._ It was the only thing that Rosso was _right_ about.

The attack from the ground was going to be led by Cloud, Barret, and Tifa. Cid would lead the Air Force while Jocasta, Vincent, Sephiroth, and Yuffie would sneak into Deepground and kill _Weiss_ -or else- _Hojo._

Cloud, Barret, and Tifa set off immediately to settle into their trucks with the WRO squads and they started driving away towards the direction of Midgar. A long journey considering how far it was from the base. The rest of the team boarded Cid’s newest ‘Shera’ Model. It was filled with WRO members operating and watching over the controls. Their endless mumbling and talking was audible from the bridge.

Vincent and Jocasta made their way to the bridge where Cid was standing, holding the steering wheel and keeping the ship steady on its course. Jocasta looked around at the people that paced all around the massive ship. It was amazing to think of how much gil Reeve must’ve spent for that.

She approached Cid and she placed a hand on his shoulder. The cranky Captain turned and looked at her and let out a loud laugh before he let go of the steering wheel and pulled her into a tight hug. They hadn’t gotten the time to catch up since the only thing that Jocasta did was _explain_ things and helping the others understand _what’s been going on._

“So good ta fuckin’ finally see ya, Joe!” Cid’s hug was almost suffocating, but she didn’t really care.

“You foul-mouthed, magnificent bastard, I missed you so fuckin’ much,” Jocasta almost felt a tear of happiness slipping down her cheek as she squeezed him.

He pulled back with a laugh “Who did you call foul-mouthed?!” he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze “I fuckin’ missed ya,” 

Vincent noticed the ship almost falling on the side and the crewmembers panicked for a few seconds, and Cid didn’t really seem to have noticed it at all. Vincent’s hand reached for the steering wheel, bringing it back on a steady course. He had never really piloted an advanced model like this, but _how difficult could it be to just hold the steering wheel steady?_

“I missed you too! How’s Shera?” Jocasta asked. She found herself smiling so _widely._ She hadn’t smiled like that in such a long time.

“Ha! She’d be whooping my ass if she knew I told you but…” Cid leaned closer, making sure nobody was around them to listen “…we’re pregnant,”

Jocasta’s eyes widened. Her hand found her mouth immediately to muffle an exclamation of excitement. She laughed “You mean _she’s_ pregnant,”

“Hey! I put some effort too, ya know!” Cid protested.

Jocasta laughed and she pulled him back into a brief, tight hug “Congrats!” she pulled back “How many months?”

“Third! I don’t know what the hell they say, but she ain’t actin’ all weird to me,” Cid scratched his blonde hair.

Jocasta raised a finger “Yet,”

“Captain!”

Cid’s attention fell on the windows and they realized they were heading for the mountains that laid nearby. He rushed back towards the steering wheel. He noticed Vincent holding it and he smacked Vincent’s hand away and replacing it with his.

“The hell ya think you’re doin’, Vinnie?! Can’t you see that big ass mountain lyin’ in the goddamn distance?!” Cid moved the ship away from the mountainside and everybody in the crew let out huge sighs of relief visibly.

Vincent frowned “I don’t know how to drive this thing,”

Cid’s one hand found his friend’s shoulder and he laughed “It’s alright, pal! Nice ta see ya again. Ha! I could even teach ya some of that gorgeous thing called _piloting_ if ya want!”

Vincent hid his chuckle behind the collar of his cloak and he nodded. Then Reeve and Sephiroth entered the room, and one of the trainee pilots grabbed hold of the steering wheel.

Yuffie followed from behind with a bucket in her hands should she need to puke, and Cid with Vincent and Jocasta followed the rest of the team below the bridge.

“Alright…” Sephiroth’s eyes slipped all around the members of the team before he crossed his hands against his chest “…Cloud will lead the ground assault, while Cid leads our attack from the air. Vincent, Yuffie, Jocasta, and I will sneak in and take out Hojo,” Sephiroth explained.

The team nodded and Cid said, “We’ll be arriving at Midgar by sunrise, so y’all better get some rest if ya wanna bust some Deepground heads tomorrow, alright?”

“Right,” Sephiroth nodded as he and Reeve walked out of the control room, with Yuffie following from behind.

Jocasta and Vincent turned at Cid as he hurried back over the steering wheel grabbing hold of it. “It’s alright y’all, I’mma head back to rest in a few more minutes. You should be able to find your room. The design’s the same as the Highwind’s,”

Vincent raised an eyebrow “Room?”

Cid laughed “C’mon, everybody knows you two need some time together,”

Jocasta almost felt herself blushing. She was sure that Vincent was staring at her as she tried to ignore the heat on her cheeks. She didn’t know why she was being like this. She just knew that it had been _so long_ since the last time she’d slept beside him. She had missed this _so much._ A weight had already been lifted off of her shoulders after she explained everything.

“Right,” she agreed before she proceeded to walk out of the bridge. She could hear the clacking of Vincent’s sabatons as they hit on the metallic floor while he followed her from behind.

Cid was right. It did look pretty much like the Highwind. There were numerous of WRO’s soldiers, technicians, engineers. They saluted them as the two of them passed through the halls and corridors of the Shera. They finally reached the empty quarters. She knew it was best that she stayed with him. Without the Protomateria -no matter how much stronger his body had become- she knew he wouldn’t be able to contain Chaos. But since she harboured Omega, Chaos remained silent. Both of them remained silent and both their minds, for once, were at ease.

The two of them entered into a room. It had one bed for a single person, but that had never bothered them before. Jocasta started taking off the daggers that she had fit in cases all around her outfit. She placed them all by the small table that existed nearby. He joined her, placing Cerberus and Death Penalty. Both massive guns. He placed their bullets neatly nearby. He watched her as she took off daggers from her boots, propping her foot on the chair. She took a couple more off the cases on her thighs and she noticed him staring at her, counting them.

She chuckled “What?” she pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear and she gave him a smile.

“You’ve stopped using Sais,” he pinpointed.

“Yeah, well…” she shrugged as she pulled her foot back down and started untying her cloak off her shoulders “…the TSVIETs either use blades or their fists. I guess Sais and arrows aren’t on their list,”

He hummed as he took off his own cloak and his sabatons. He looked at her as she approached him. Her skillful fingers reached for the buckles of his shirt. For a moment, his hand instinctively twitched to reach for her wrists and stop her, but then he reminded himself that it was _her,_ and he had _no reason_ to feel uncomfortable around _her._ She knew him. She had seen _all of him. Well,_ maybe except for the left arm. He wasn’t intending to show her anytime soon.

He just stared at her focused expression as she unbuckled his shirt. She too had already taken off whatever black leather laid on top of her. She only wore her pants and that white shirt beneath. A few of her buttons were open as she pulled down her hair and finally let them fall loosely on her shoulders.

He noticed the scars around her wrists. They weren’t as he remembered them. They were darker. More bruised. Almost a dark colour of purple. And then he noticed the scars. A large scar laid across her neck, that one would have to be close to notice. His hand found her cheek as he guided her face up so that he could have a better look at it.

She leaned on his touch. She closed her eyes briefly. She hadn’t been touched by anybody so tenderly for so long. It was hard to believe how much she craved for it. His thumb stroked her cheek and he heard her sighing. He felt angry. Angrier than he’d ever felt himself being before. He couldn’t bring himself to think of what they must’ve done to her. _Actually,_ he knew what they had done to her. He knew the hopelessness. The loneliness. Being tied down and unable to do anything but _scream_ and hope that somebody would hear.

He knew those feelings. She had taken care of Sephiroth just because _he was his son. “…I’ll take my job back in Shinra and keep an eye on Sephiroth but I’m not gonna do it for you. I’m gonna do it for Vincent,”_ She had risked her life back then. Working for Shinra had always been _risky_ considering that she had to work with Hojo. She had to go through two years of Hojo’s manipulative words and dreadful actions and she could do nothing but _watch_ him.

All those storybooks that she would read for Sephiroth so many nights. All these nights that she’d sleep beside him because Sephiroth needed nothing but somebody’s loving embrace so that he could sleep. She had risked her life to take Sephiroth out of there and she had gotten herself locked in a lab and experimented on. She had merely done all these because Sephiroth was _his_ son. She had kept him safe for as long as she could. He never knew. She had never told him. He had to remember and the more he thought about it, the clearer that memory got.

“You stayed back for him,” Vincent said, and for a moment she looked at him confused “For Sephiroth. He was the only thing keeping you working for Shinra, wasn’t it?”

She sighed and her eyes slipped away from his for a moment. “Well… I had… just found out that he was your son, I couldn’t-”

“Did you love me? Even back then?”

He didn’t know why he had asked that. He just knew he needed to know. _Sure,_ they were friends back then. But she had been there for him like no one else had before. She had tried so hard to cheer him up. She had saved him, planting that Protomateria in his chest and giving him the chance to be able and control Chaos. She had gone back there, in Shinra, to make sure his son was _okay._ But _now_ he saw her hesitating and her lips trembled, letting him know that she had so much to say, but she didn’t know _how_ to say them.

“I guess… you were the only one I had and…” she chuckled bitterly. Her hand found his, supporting it on her cheek. She breathed in shakily “…gosh, I hated so much to watch you leave,”

He knew what she was talking about. He remembered that day. The day that he had to stop working as her bodyguard. His Turk comrades landed their helicopter on the fields outside her house. It was the day that he’d gone to confront Hojo. It was the day that he _died._ If he could go back in that day, he’d _scream_ at himself to stay back. To never get on that helicopter. Never to leave her, because that day was a precursor to three decades of pain and suffering. He should’ve quit working for Shinra just as Jocasta had done. He should’ve stayed with her. The happiest months of his life even though he was heartbroken, he had spent them with _her._

“A- And then Lucrecia called be and asked for help so I came by the Manor and I saw you and you were… you were dead, Vincent, a- a- and she said she had tried to bring you back by putting that thing into you and I just…” she sighed. She realized her fingers had found the buckles of his shirt and she was tugging on them “…and then she asked me to put the Protomateria into you. It was the only way to give you some control and I did, but I helped her condemn you in that life and I’m so, so sorry, we should have just let you rest,”

She felt his hands slipping around her waist and bringing her closer so that her body touched against his. She couldn’t help but press her face on his chest and finally let out the tears that she had been trying so hard to keep back. She knew she shouldn’t be crying. She had been crying a lot lately. But she couldn’t help it. She had been suppressing those feelings so much for so long and she was finally letting it all out. She had finally told him.

She felt his hands tightening around her, almost clutching on her shirt. The weight of his chin pressed on top of her head, and his breath found her ear “If you had left me… I wouldn’t have fallen for you,”

At that, she pulled back and looked up at him with drenched eyelashes and salty cheeks. Shiny grey eyes found his and she shook her head “It’s not worth all this pain-”

“It is,” he insisted. His hand found her cheek. His thumb wiped the wet traces of her tears and he found himself leaning in.

His nose brushed against hers. Her eyes found his lips before he kissed her. His lips found hers, pressing softly against them and he just lingered there. She felt his breath brushing warm on her cheek. His lips were dry but soft, and his fingers spread on her cheek and down her neck, keeping her face steady while he kissed her. He was still slow and hesitant, because every time that something good would happen, it would just keep ceasing and disappearing. The last time he’d kissed her like this, he’d lost her. He could lose her tomorrow too. He could lose her _forever_ this time.

Maybe that’s what made him tighten his grasp around her and deepen the kiss. His tongue parted her lips and moved in and met hers. He felt her hands slipping around his shoulders, finding his hair. Her fingers tugged in them. She wanted him closer. And he did lean closer to her, almost pushing his tongue down her throat and making her gasp. He couldn’t keep himself from doing that. He was afraid. _Terrified. Yes,_ he could lose her tomorrow. He could lose her forever again and he would not be able to bear that. He had just found her. He had just found out she was alive after a year of searching. After a year of debating whether she was alive or not. He had lost her so many times, he couldn’t let that happen again.

Vincent pulled back, and they both caught their breath, and both his hands reached for her cheeks. She felt the cold golden metal of his gauntlet, shakily touching her cheek as he looked down at her with that fear in his eyes that she had seen before. She knew what he was about to ask.

“Don’t come tomorrow. Please, stay here on the Shera where I know you’ll be safe. I can’t let you come back in there. I can’t lose you again, Jocasta…” he shook his head “…I can’t,” Those words slipped out in despair.

She gritted her teeth “I can’t stay here. There’s no one else who can guide you into Deepground,”

He sighed and pressed his forehead against hers for a short moment. Both his hands found her waist again and he shut his eyes. He knew she was right. They _indeed_ had no one else who could get them there. Sephiroth had objected too, but then she had walked right in, telling them that she knew every little bit of Deepground’s corridors and streets and corners. He wasn’t surprised. She had spent a year living there.

“Alright,” he nodded and he opened his eyes, meeting hers. “You’ll stay close to me,” He was going to try his best. He was going to protect her no matter the cost. He needed her alive. He needed her _safe._

She smiled “Always,” and then she leaned closer and kissed him again.

His lips responded immediately and before she knew it, she had her legs wrapped around his waist and his hands below her supporting her against him. Her back hit against the wall, a little bit harsher than he intended to. It didn’t matter though. She let out that gasp that he wanted to hear again coming from her. He felt her chest against his. He felt her hard breathing as he kissed her, and locked their tongues in a sweet dance that he never wanted to end. He never wanted the next day to come, because he felt _happy._ And every time he’d feel like that, it would be snatched away from him before he’d even get the chance to cherish it.

And then her fingers tightened in his hair and she felt his groan coming out of his throat. Choked and needy and desperate. He needed to touch her and kiss her new scars and see everything new that she hid beneath those clothes. He needed to hear her moaning and mumbling his name while he’d explore her body and trace it with his fingers. He wanted to feel her heart beating against his. So, he pressed closer, and her back hit against the wall again, and she let out that gasp of hers.

She felt his bulge pressing against her thighs. His mouth was on her neck again. She felt biting and nipping and licking. She felt that stinging pain coming from his teeth and the immediate relief from his tongue as it brushed against her swollen skin. He found her scars. He kissed them but he felt her flinching away and tensing up. She let out a few whimpers and hisses. He felt her hands tightening into fistfuls around his shirt. He knew she was remembering the painful memories. She was remembering the pain that came when she got these scars. She was remembering but he _didn’t want her to remember._

He pulled back and he felt her hand finding his face, gently stroking it with her fingers. She had a painful expression on her face and he could tell she was biting her tongue. He felt the anger boiling inside of him for the people who had done these to her. For the people who had scarred her like that. She had her eyes shut and her face turned away.

“Jocasta-”

“I’m so sorry, I just-”

“You’re safe, look at me…” his hand found her face and he turned her head to look at him. She finally opened her eyes and obeyed. She felt his fingers gently stroking her cheek as he looked up at her “…you’re safe,” he repeated “I do not wish to harm you,”

She nodded shakily for a moment before she buried her face in his neck. He felt her sighing there, and his hands tightened around her. He carried her towards the bed and placed her down gently. He tried to pull back, but her hands were tight around his shoulders and she wasn’t letting him go. He didn’t want to let go. _Never._ He propped himself up with his left hand and he looked down at her. Her eyes caught his. Her one hand was in his hair the other was on his cheek and she stroked it gently with her thumb.

“I’m scared… I’m terrified about tomorrow,” her voice came out as a whisper.

He pressed his forehead against hers “Me too,” he admitted. But _no,_ he had to make her feel _safe._ He had to reassure her that all was going to turn out _okay_ even though he wasn’t sure he’d been telling the truth if he said that. But he had to _be there for her._ To _make her feel better._ His heart ached for her. His right hand found her face, making sure he had her whole attention “Just stay close to me. I’ll keep you safe. Once we’re in, you leave. Understood?”

She sighed. She wanted to object, but she knew that she had to _listen to him_ at least _once but_ “Don’t ask me to leave you,”

“I’m asking you to stay _safe_. I’ll be fine. I’ll be with Sephiroth,” He reassured her. It took her a moment to nod and she heard him sigh. A sigh of _relief._ His breath found her lips and she tugged him closer pulling on his shirt.

He leaned in and kissed her again, gently, before he let go of her lips. He barely ghosted kisses down her chin until he reached her neck. His lips barely traced her torn, tortured flesh, and she didn’t flinch away this time. She stood there, dazed, eyes closed, fingers messing with his hair. He was trying to be gentle. He pulled her skin between his lips, tenderly, before he let go of it and dragged kisses around her scars on her neck. She had calmed down. Her breathing had reached a heavier but calmer rhythm _now._

He moved past her neck and found her chest. He kissed her marks there. As gentle as he could. His lips barely ghosted against her skin. She sighed contently. Her fingers pushed off his bandana and clenched back in his hair guiding him back up at her. He had that _needy_ look in his eyes. That _desperation._ And she knew she had that too. Her hands pushed off his unbuckled leather shirt. His fingers found the buttons of her own white shirt. He unbuttoned them, every time revealing more and more of her body. He took off his own shirt, the one he always wore beneath, and he noticed her taking off her own. Both revealed their flawed, scarred bodies that would make anybody else _squirm_ and _run away._

 _Oh,_ but she’d seen _him_ before, and he’d seen _her_ before. She had seen all of him, and _now_ her fingers were back on his chest, his shoulders, his torso. She traced those scars again. She remembered every single one of them and he wasn’t twitching nor flinching away to her touch. She had touched him again. She had learned his scars. Memorized them like a _map_ that she would never stop _studying_. She settled herself up on her elbows and she started kissing. She kissed every single one of them _again_ and he could barely bite back his gasps and his groans. She shivered as she felt his clawed gauntlet tracing over the exposed skin on her back. Sharp, cold claws that raised shivers all over her. He could _tear her apart_ with it if he wanted to.

She pressed her lips all around him while his hands explored the new marks on her back. Her fingers touched every single scar of his and he let out a hum, closing his eyes and savouring her warm, tender touch. The wetness of her tongue as she dragged it over the scars on his chest. She left a wet trace behind for her fingers to touch. He could feel his erection pressing against his pants. It was almost unbearable. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to contain himself if she kept doing that.

His claws found her hair and fisted in them pulling her head back enough to expose her neck where he aligned his face back again. She heard that low growl coming from him as he trapped her skin between his teeth again. He wasn’t intending to be harsh but he couldn’t help it. He heard her gasping. Her fingers tightened around his hair as he bit hard the sensitive, flawed skin before he flicked his tongue out and licked the mark that he had just added. And he did it again in so many spots on her neck, he’d lost count. And she wasn’t flinching away. She wasn’t trembling, she wasn’t pulling away. He just listened to her ever-growing heavier breathing and those little gasps and whimpers that she kept letting out.

She felt his right arm slipping down her stomach, grabbing hold of her bare waist while she unbuckled her bra. He helped her take it off before he buried his face between her breasts and started licking, biting, nipping, kissing. Tracing her skin with his tongue and tasting her and he couldn’t stop eliciting those sounds out of her.

He pulled back to look down at her. He breathed hard against her lips and he knew she wanted him to kiss her, but he didn’t. _Not yet._ His eyes found hers. She felt his fingers tracing her lower abdomen. He had that lusty look in his eyes “Take off your pants,” it came out like a command and she was more than willing to obey.

She locked their gazes together as her hands slipped her pants and panties all the way down her feet, kicking them away. She was fully naked beneath him _now_ and she felt his hand slipping down and finding her mound, then her clit and then her entrance. He felt her breath hitching halfway her throat when he slipped two fingers into her. Her hole sheathed them, slick and warm, and tight. He stilled his fingers inside of her as he slid his wet lips over her cheek.

“So wet,” she felt his breath brushing warm against her cheek as he spoke. Her hands were weak around his shoulders. He began moving his fingers in and out of her and he just stared down at her reaction while he massaged her tight, quivering walls. She was so wet and tight. Her fingers clenched around his shoulders as he picked up the pace and she gasped and writhed beneath him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and heavily and he couldn’t help but lean in and start kissing again while he worked his fingers into her a little bit harder and faster. Her legs trembled around his hand when he added a third finger. He felt her nails digging on his shoulders, giving him her own marks.

And when he set a faster pace, hitting hard into her, she let out a gasp. Her hands tightened around his shoulders as she came hard around his pumping fingers. He brought her down her orgasm with a few more harsh strokes making her arch up, and touch his bulge with her trembling body. He pulled his fingers out of her and traced her belly with the wetness that they carried. He grabbed her breast between his fingers, squeezing hard enough to make her whimper.

His hands pulled down his pants, kicking them away. Her legs parted, giving him all the space that he needed, and she grasped him with her hand. Vincent gasped when he felt her fingers around his hard flesh. He pressed his forehead against hers as she guided him to her entrance and he pushed in. She gasped and let her head roll back on the pillow as he filled her all the way in. She heard him groan, and his fingers grabbed hold of her waist. She felt his thumb tracing her loins while his claws ghosted for her thigh, supporting her leg around him

He pulled out and then thrust back in. They both sighed at the friction. He pressed his forehead against hers and his hand found her cheek. He pulled out and then back in and they both shuddered. Her hips lifted up, meeting his slow thrusts. Her hand found his cheek and he leaned in and kissed her. He groaned into her mouth as he pulled the way out and thrust back in with force. He muffled her cry in that kiss. He forced his tongue down her throat as he did that again. Her fingers were dragging lines on his back _now._ He took her like that again and he could tell he was hitting her sensitive spot from the way that he hips twitched and her body trembled.

From the way that she dragged her nails over his back and gave him her own marks and he didn’t mind. He pulled back from the kiss and propped himself on both his hands planted around her head. He started thrusting hard and fast, knocking those gasps out of her and he buried his face back in her neck, drawing in her scent and _feasting_ on her flesh while he took her. She felt her teeth sinking on his shoulder as she came hard around him. He growled at the convulsions of her tight hole around him. Her slickness pulled him deep enough to make her tense up.

He pulled his face off her neck and he watched her as she breathed hard, and trembled, and let out those small whimpers. Her fingers traced over his chest shakily as she panted. He was still deep inside of her and he didn’t seem to be done with her. His crimson eyes found her half-lidded ones and his hand found her face again.

“Say my name, Jocasta,” Another command. He needed to hear her saying it. He needed to hear it coming from her while he took her.

“ _V- Vincent…_ ” she mumbled between those little whimpers. It made him bite and draw on her lip till she gasped. He pulled out and roughly back in, knocking a cry out of her that he didn’t care to muffle. Her hole sheathed him tight enough. Her slickness pulled him deep hitting that spot.

“Again,” his voice came harsh and breathy as he buried his face back in her neck and he picked up a pace. He dragged kisses and bites till he reached her lips. His hips moved back and forth landing hard against hers, hitting deep inside of her. He wanted to make her come again. He wanted to feel her clenching around him. He listened to her gasps and her whimpers and those little breathy groans and moans as she tried her best to keep herself quiet.

“Vincent…” she managed weakly against his ear, and he rewarded her with a lusty kiss that muffled her panting, her _screams._ His tongue lapped against hers as he took her with a few more harsh strokes before she came. She groaned against his mouth. Her nails drew lines on his broad shoulders as he _fucked_ her through her orgasm. Her hands were tight around his shoulders as he buried his face back in her neck and her fingers found his hair “Come in me, Vincent,”

He growled when he came. She felt his warmth spreading deep inside of her and he stayed there, catching his breath for a moment, panting hard against her neck. His whole body pressed on top of hers and for a moment he felt alarmed on the thought of crushing her. He pulled back to look at her. She smiled up at him. Her hands pushed those messy locks of hair out of his face and their eyes met. She looked up at him and she looked so _content_ it made his heart flutter and the tips of his lip curl up into a smile. The next day hadn’t come yet, and he didn’t want it to come. He would take her and leave if he could. But they couldn’t _leave_ just yet. They had a story to end.

“I didn’t crush you, did I?” Vincent asked worriedly and she chuckled.

“No, relax,” she giggled as her thumb stroked his cheek.

He pulled out of her and lied beside her. His hands slipped around her body, dragging her close to him and pressing her against him. Her hands found his chest as he brought the bedsheets, covering both their bodies beneath. He trapped her legs between his and she buried her face in his neck. She felt his cheek pressing on top of her head as he nuzzled his nose in her hair and breathed her in.

She felt his heart beating against her chest as she nuzzled in his neck and his hands tightened around her protectively. She smiled. She hadn’t been this happy in so long. She could tell it was the same for him. She could tell he didn’t want to think of tomorrow’s possible outcomes. She didn’t either. She just wanted this night to never end. She wanted him to hold her like that forever.

Jocasta pressed a kiss on his chest “I love you, Vincent,”

She could even hear him smiling from the way that his chest jumped in a content chuckle “I love you too, Jocasta,”


	89. The Final Showdown Pt. 1: The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter 'I Get to Love You' by Ruelle

She began to stir when she felt a kiss on her forehead. Jocasta’s eyes slowly opened, allowing the morning sunlight in. She looked up, meeting that crimson gaze of the man that she dearly loved wholeheartedly. His arms were around her. Their naked bodies were pressed against each other. A smile had formed on his lips and she couldn’t help but smile back. It suited him so well. _A perfect smile_ for those _perfect_ pale lips.

Her nose brushed against his, reminding them both how close they were. Vincent just took this moment to look down at her. He tried to _freeze_ this moment into his mind. The sweetest memory that he ever had. He was with the woman that he _loved._ He didn’t know what was going to happen _today_. He didn’t know if he was either gonna lose her again, or if something was going to happen and it was going to push them apart. So many things had already happened. The entire team was there to help with this one. He didn’t know but he knew that _so many_ things could go wrong.

His hands tightened around her and he leaned closer to her, pressing his forehead against hers. Both closed their eyes trying to cherish this moment. It was either gonna be their last or not. They didn’t know. They just knew that they had to protect each other at all costs. They had to make it out alive. They had a life that awaited for them to live. To live _together._ An eternity _perhaps_.

“I don’t want it to end either,” Jocasta said and it almost came out as a whisper. It was as if she had heard his thoughts. He knew she was talking about _this moment_.

His hand found her face. His thumb stroked her cheek tenderly. “We’ll make it out, Jocasta,” For so long he had tried so hard to find _his reason to live._ Ever since she entered his life, he had an answer to that question. _She_ was his reason to live and he couldn’t believe that he was probably _hers_ too. “We have to,”

Jocasta gave him a smile and she nodded “What do you think we’ll do after today?”

He felt his lips quirking up in a smile “We’ll have to find a house,”

She laughed “Yeah, that’d be a good start,” she pressed her cheek against his bare chest and she laced their fingers together “And then?”

She felt him chuckle against her hair “And then… we’ll settle in. Find ourselves a job,”

She giggled as she looked back up at him “And then?”

He pressed a kiss on her forehead “And then…” he pulled back to look down at her. He couldn’t believe he _wanted_ to say this. But he didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance to say it. He had to let her know that he wanted her for so much more “…I’ll make you my wife,”

Her eyes widened for a moment before she almost felt tears gathering in her lower eyelashes. Her hand let go of his and found her mouth, trying to suppress an exclamation of excitement that reached her lips.

“A-Are you… proposing to me?!” She couldn’t help stuttering. Her heart was hammering against her chest. She never thought he’d ever get that far with her. She never thought he’d be able to move on like that.

“It’s not proper to do that now. I just want you to know… I need you to stay alive. Promise me that you will, Jocasta,” he said worriedly as he stared down at her, impatiently waiting for an answer. His fingers tightened around hers. He didn’t know what he’d do if he’d ever lost her again. He didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it.

Jocasta nodded “I promise. I’m going to try, at least,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Sephiroth smiled when she appeared on his screen. He was sitting on that chair in his own quarters with the laptop settled on the table. They were high enough to have a good connection and communicate with Hester. She had tried to convince him to let her go with them, but he had insisted that she’d stay back in the base where he knew she’d be safe.

“Hey, Sephy-” she smiled in his screen as she stared back at her camera, back at him. Her eyes widened “What did you do to your hair?!”

He chuckled “I cut them,”

“H- How- …W- Why?!” He hadn’t changed much, but that hair no longer reached as far as his legs. The bangs were a little bit shorter and his pale brown hair barely reached his back.

For a moment, he was afraid that she wouldn’t like it. He wasn’t really sure why he had done it. He felt deep inside that he no longer was that man. He no longer was _Sephiroth_ the one who had condemned the Planet to destruction. He had to cut the ties with his past should he move on. And he did. And after _today_ he was going to _move on._ No more nightmares, no more voices inside his mind. He was going to _butcher_ Hojo with his own hands and he was going to _enjoy_ it.

She sighed and smiled at him “Finally moving on?”

He nodded “Yeah,”

“They suit you that way,”

At that, he smiled back at her.

“I hacked through the main server of Deepground’s. I should be able to help somehow. We’ll keep in contact,” she tapped on the intercom that she had settled on her ear.

He nodded.

Her face turned into a worried expression “Be careful, Sephy. You know how manipulative Hojo can get,”

“I know. Don’t worry,” he reassured her.

“Don’t go get yourself killed this time, alright?”

He smiled and gave her a fake salute “Yes, ma’am,” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Listen up, ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once!” Cid cried out against the microphone “If any more of you are killed by those punks, I’ll drag you back from hell and kill you again! You really wanna piss of those SOBs then why not try stayin’ alive! That’s what this war’s all about, folks! If you live, everybody behind you lives. If you die, they die! You got that?! Now go kick some Deepground ass!” Cid finished turning off the microphone. The cheers of the crew were loud as they threw their fists in the air.

Jocasta was standing beside him. Vincent was checking if his guns were loaded and ready to go. She placed a hand on Cid’s shoulder “That’s some fine pep-talk, old man,” she teased.

“I know! I’m real fuckin’ good at it,” Cid smirked as he puffed out the half cigarette that he already had it rolling between his lips.

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “Still smoking?!”

“Fuck off! I ain’t smokin’ at home ‘cause Shera doesn’t fuckin’ let me. But ‘ere I’mma smoke all I fuckin’ want,” Cid protested.

Jocasta laughed “No worries. I’m gonna fix your lungs, old man,”

“My goddamn lungs are fuckin’ fine, what do you fuckin’ mean-” Cid tried to say before he started coughing almost as bad as his father.

Jocasta cringed “Right. We’ll fix that,”

“What-fuckin’-ever!” Cid frowned.

Sephiroth walked in. Dressed in his armour, ready for the fight. The Masamune stood neatly on his back and his hair was _cut._ Vincent chose not to comment. He just shrugged. _Meh._ Jocasta though pulled him into a hug and Cid patted his shoulder.

“That’s some fuckin’ fine haircut, Sephy!” Cid said encouragingly.

Jocasta cupped his face. She had to admit, he looked so much more like Vincent that way. “It suits you, sweetie,”

“Thanks… mom,” It wasn’t hard to get used to calling her that.

“Fuck yeah!” Cid patted his shoulder once more before he turned his attention at the steering wheel. “I hate to leave the party to y’all, but ya know, I can’t leave my bird alone,”

“You lead the Air Force, Cid. Leave Deepground to us,” Vincent said.

“Yo! Let’s go! The squad’s waitin’!” Yuffie’s voice came from behind, until she looked at Sephiroth and started laughing. “Holy Leviathan! What did you do to your hair?!” her hand clenched around her stomach as she tried to contain the hysterical laughter.

She kept laughing until Jocasta smacked her shoulder “Stop bullying my son and focus on the mission, Yuffie,”

“OW- Heyyyyy!” Yuffie protested as she rubbed her shoulder “Okay, okay! The squad is ready! We take off in bay 9,” Yuffie said as she pointed her thumb at the door behind her that led out of the bridge.

“Let’s go,” Vincent said.

“Follow me,” Sephiroth said as he walked first with the other three following from behind.

They hurried through the halls and corridors of the massive ship. A couple more of WRO members were rushing all around the place, fulfilling their tasks. They finally reached the bay. The squad was there, checking on their rifles, their guns, their equipment. Sephiroth set off to talk to them right away. Yuffie grabbed her Shuriken that laid nearby and she settled it on her back.

Jocasta made sure her daggers were fitted neatly beneath her sleeves, her boots, her body. Everywhere. She had enough of them to help her fight through the day. Jocasta noticed a box of equipment and she walked towards it. There was a quiver filled with arrows and a bow. A black bow that she couldn’t help bringing up and examining it. It had multiple slots filled with Materia. She looked at the arrows in the quiver. There were ones with red, blue, and green tails and she raised an eyebrow wondering what the red ones were capable of.

“Hester’s designs…” Reeve’s voice came from the back and she turned and looked at the man “…The red ones are explosives, the green are poisonous, and the blue are grappling hooks,” he explained.

Jocasta chuckled. The bow even had a targeting mechanism. _Oh,_ she was going to _enjoy_ using these. “Hester designed these?!” she asked surprised.

“Oh yes! You know…” Reeve’s hands found his pockets, “…Hester always wanted to study Weapon Engineering. Of course, with Hojo as her parent, she never got to it,” 

Jocasta sighed as she tied the quiver around her shoulders, and she passed the bow around her hands. She was going to _kick_ Hojo’s _ass_ so _fuckin’ hard._

“Oh, and…” Reeve hurried over another box. A smaller one that he opened and he brought it to her “…I’ve had Hester revive these,” he said.

Jocasta’s eyes widened as she recognized the familiar weapons. Sais. _Her_ Sais. They looked cleaner than they had ever been. They had two more slots, filled with Materias. She brought them up in her hands. She smiled as she rolled them around her fingers. She was surprised, but happy that she remembered how to do that. She tied their cases around her waist and she fitted them in. She looked back up at Reeve and she smiled at him.

“Thanks, Reeve,”

“Thank your daughter,” Reeve said before he patted her shoulder and he took out a few intercoms from his bag.

Jocasta nodded. She knew she had to do that. She had things to _correct_ after _today._ She had to build a better relationship between her and Hester. She had to find a house to settle in with Vincent. She had to meet the rest of the team. She had to get back her job at the university, or a Hospital, or a lab. She had to become a _Doctor again._ She had to get back her life. The life that was taken from her so long ago.

Yuffie and Vincent gathered around. “Take these,” Reeve said as he handed one intercom to each one of them and they settled it to their ears. Jocasta settled hers by her ear. It was tight enough. There was no way for it to fall. “We’ll stay in contact with these. Hester’s back in the base. She has hacked through the Deepground servers. She could help in any way that you need,” he instructed before he turned around to leave “Good luck, team,”

Yuffie, Vincent and Jocasta nodded. Jocasta noted to herself to thank her daughter for that. _After today._ She reminded herself, and she turned back at Vincent who had been looking at her direction. She approached him. She felt his hand slipping around her and pulling her close. They both turned their attention at Sephiroth as he stood between the squad and eyed his soldiers.

“I don’t know if you guys need another pep-talk. I don’t know how long this battle will last. Some of us will die, some of us will live. I don’t know if we’ll succeed, but I want you all to know that you’re not fighting for WRO. You’re fighting for no one but yourselves, your families, your loved ones. You’re fighting so that they get to live. You’re fighting for them. Remember your training. Stick together. It is as the Captain said it. You’re fighting because you need to live,” Sephiroth said and the soldiers, one by one nodded to his words and stood up, settling their guns in their cases and saluting. “Once we’re out, I will not be able to lead you. But the Commissioner and the Captain will,”

“Yes, General!” It came in unison as all the WRO soldiers saluted. Jocasta smiled. She felt so proud of Sephiroth, she could barely hide it.

They all settled on their air-skateboards. Vincent looked over to Jocasta waiting for her to let him know that _she was afraid of heights_ and he’d have to jump off the ship with her clung on top of him, but she didn’t say anything. She just tied her legs on her own air-skateboard and he thought that maybe he should ask her, but before he even got the chance, the Shera crashed with another ship. He could tell that Cid was maneuvering the ship, trying to move it away and make the damage lesser than it would normally be.

The bay started collapsing and being engulfed in flames. The hatch opened right on time and everybody jumped out to save themselves flying on their air-skateboards. Deepground ships and helicopters rushed towards them along with bombs that came from Deepground bombers that they shot from the ground.

Sephiroth swung the Masamune, dodging one of those bombs back into a Deepground ship, exploding it and letting it go crashing on the ground. It looked like below them there had been a massive fight going on. Tifa and Barret and Cloud were leading the WRO. Barret’s cries were almost audible in the chaos.

Another ship came towards them and Vincent took out Cerberus and he started shooting at the mechanism of its helices, making them malfunction and fall. Jocasta grabbed - _hopefully_ \- a red arrow and she shot it towards another Deepground ship. It stabbed into its metal and it blew up. The massive, green explosion, tore the ship into pieces that fell back on the ground. Jocasta let out a cry of excitement.

"I like these!” She was going to _use the hell out of those._

She shot a couple more of the unending arrows that she had on her back. Vincent kept shooting with Cerberus’s thick bullets at the airplanes letting them go crashing. Sephiroth passed through another ship, tearing its metallic shell with the Masamune and destroying whatever mechanisms it hid beneath.

Yuffie’s Shuriken came flying around, tearing the throats of the aerial Deepground troopers that came to shoot at the team. She used the Shuriken, hurting them as she flew closer towards them. Once the team reached further away from the fight, they finally reached Midgar. There weren’t many Deepground troopers, but a bullet found Vincent’s air-skateboard making him maneuver uncontrollably in the air.

Sephiroth’s, Jocasta’s, and Yuffie’s eyes widened as they hurried towards him to help him out. Vincent landed messily on one of the many streets of Sector Seven’s slums in Midgar. The rest of the team hurried towards him. They landed on their air-skateboards and they hurried towards him.

“Are you okay?!” Jocasta asked worriedly.

Vincent nodded “I’m sorry we had to land further away,”

“It’s alright, this might work to our advantage,” Jocasta said.

 _“You’re right,”_ Hester’s voice came from their intercoms.

“Hester?!” Jocasta asked as her hand reached for the speaker in her ear.

_“Hi, mom,”_

“Yo! Hest! What do you got, girl?” Yuffie asked.

_“Our satellite sends me Deepground’s positions at any time. I will be letting you know where there are Deepground squads. For now, you’re clear,”_

“Thank you, Hester,” Sephiroth said before Hester finished the call.

“Now we need to look for the Central Complex. Once we’ve done that, there must be a ladder somewhere that can get us upwards,” Jocasta said “The only way into Deepground is through the upper platform of the Shinra Tower,”

“Alright,” Sephiroth said “Take the lead,”

Jocasta walked forwards, leading them deeper in the streets and ruins of Midgar. The war was going on right above them. All that crashing and shooting was audible from below, and the only reason that Yuffie was quiet it was because she was staring upwards.

“Damn, it’s really hell up there,” She said.

“Yeah,” Sephiroth added.

“Cool!”

“Yeah, people _dying_. So _cool,_ ” Sephiroth said sarcastically.

“Meh, casualties of war,” Yuffie shrugged indifferently.

Jocasta heard Sephiroth groaning and drawing in a deep breath to throw something back at the oblivious ninja, but her hand reached for his shoulder drawing his attention “Deep breaths, Sephy. Deep breaths,” she advised him as she made sure that Yuffie was further back, distracted enough by teasing Vincent.

“She’s just so-”

“She’s a kid,”

“She’s… completely oblivious!”

“We were too,”

“I wasn’t so dumb!”

Jocasta laughed at his annoyance “They sent you in a war at your twenties. Did you think of it as something dangerous, or as something fun?” Jocasta asked.

Sephiroth took a moment to respond before he sighed “Point taken,”


	90. The Final Showdown Pt. 2: The Crimson Impact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack for this Chapter 'The Crimson Impact' by Masashi Hamauzu (DISC2 from DoC Soundtrack)

_“The remaining air squads have reached the upper plates and joined the ground forces,”_ Hester’s voice came from the intercoms.

“Copy,” Sephiroth responded. He looked in front of them and he saw a couple of WRO soldiers that weren’t supposed to be there. They were nearby the Train Graveyard of Sector Seven. Sephiroth approached them. He recognized them from the training sessions. They immediately sat straight, saluting at him.

“General!”

“What are you doing here, Lieutenant?” Sephiroth asked.

The woman with the orange hat stiffened for a moment. She hesitated before she said “W- We missed our landing point,” she informed him.

Sephiroth hummed “You may join us till we reach the complex. A couple of squads are already there,”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“Thank you, sir!”

Sephiroth turned at Vincent, Jocasta and Yuffie “I hope you don’t mind,” he said.

“Of course,” Jocasta said.

Vincent shrugged “So long as they don’t get in our way,”

“Finally, somebody closest to my age!” Yuffie cried out as she hurried towards the WRO soldiers and they began talking.

Sephiroth smirked for a moment as he crossed his hands against his chest and he stared at the young ninja bugging his soldiers “I thought that’d keep her busy,” he turned around and joined Vincent and Jocasta as they walked towards the direction that she was leading them.

Vincent chuckled “Thank goodness,” he commented, grateful that his son had thought of it that way.

They walked through the old Sector Seven slums for a long moment before a couple of Deepground soldiers attacked. Jocasta took out her Sais and she dodged a couple of bullets that came her way. She slipped a foot beneath one of the soldiers’ legs making him lose his balance and fall. She elbowed another one that came from behind and she used her Sai to cut his throat. She kicked the gun off another soldier’s arm and she stabbed the Sai on his stomach.

Vincent had taken out Cerberus, firing at the ones who came his way. Sephiroth had taken out the Masamune, mainly making sure that his WRO soldiers were safe. He sliced through the Deepground troopers with the large blade of the Masamune, skillfully. Yuffie’s Shuriken flew in the air as it cut through their legs and their throats, and the WRO squad fired with all they had.

It didn’t take long when they took out the Deepground soldiers and got back on their way to the complex. They reached it fast. A couple of squads were indeed already into the building. The WRO soldiers ran towards the older man with the red hat.

When he saw Sephiroth, he immediately saluted “General! Thank you for your assistance,”

“Just make sure you don’t lose your squad again, Commander,” Sephiroth said.

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“Are we in the complex yet?” Yuffie asked.

Jocasta sighed “Almost. To get into the complex, we’ll have to proceed through a maze of decommissioned train cars,”

 _“Beyond the graveyard await the TSVIETs,”_ Hester informed them.

“Which one?” Jocasta asked.

_“Can’t say,”_

“Whoever it is, will get some pain delivered,” Yuffie smirked, bumping her fist against her hand.

“We’ll see what we can do,” Vincent said. Sephiroth was the first one to turn and walk out of the building but he was stopped by the Commander.

“General! We can’t leave you without backup!”

Sephiroth opened his mouth to speak, but Vincent was faster “No. You heard what Cid said. You have to live. If you come with us, chances are you’ll all die,” he said as he looked at the tired WRO soldiers that rested on the floor of the building.

“He’s right,” Sephiroth agreed.

The Commander hesitated before he nodded “Understood. I’ll remain here until the current situation has improved,” All soldiers in the squad saluted “Good luck, sir,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Finding their way out of the graveyard would be impossible without Hester’s help. If she didn’t have the satellites giving her real-life images of what was happening, they would’ve never walked out of that endless maze of train cars.

When they finally reached the central complex, Jocasta looked for something to take them upwards to the plate surface.

“What now?” Yuffie asked.

“We need to go up,” Jocasta answered.

“And how are we supposed to do that?” Yuffie asked again but the answer came from the air.

Aerial Deepground troopers attacked them. They had devices attached on their backs, that kept them in the air. They turned their guns at the team and they started firing. Jocasta rolled out of the way of a few bullets. She landed on her one knee and she grabbed her bow and an arrow. A green one. A poisonous one.

“Looks like our ride has arrived,” Sephiroth said as he dodged few bullets, cutting them in half with the Masamune.

There were four of them in the air. Yuffie threw her Shuriken, hurting one of them. The young ninja jumped on the top of a decommissioned train car, and then she jumped on top of the trooper that she had hurt. The Shuriken landed back on her hand and she settled it on her back. She used her hands to clutch on the passed-out trooper and she grabbed the controls from his hands leading herself upwards.

“Wooo hoooo!!! Follow meeeee!” the young ninja vanished as she flew up.

Jocasta shot the poisonous arrow on one Aerial Trooper “He’s all yours,” she turned at Sephiroth who nodded. He jumped on another train car and then reached the maneuvering trooper, leading himself upwards, following Yuffie. Jocasta heard gunshots, taking out the other two, but before she had the chance to jump towards one of them, she felt a clawed hand slipping around her.

Jocasta turned around, expecting to see Vincent, but instead she saw Chaos. She did not cower away as he expected her to. She traced his light gray skin with her fingers. She touched his demon’s claws, gauntlets, till she pressed her hands flat on the exoskeleton of his chest. She looked up at him in wonder. She wasn't scared. She didn't look like she was. Chaos’s golden eyes looked down at her. His dark red wings, harboured sharp claws that could cut through anything. His skin looked pale. His appearance, _wicked_. It would make anybody else chant him in disgust and cower away. But _she didn’t_. Vincent’s clawed hands slithered around her, tight enough to break a normal human’s body, but not _hers._

Her fingers found the wicked cracks on his face. Cold and pale, and gray. “You can control him?”

“So long as you’re around,” His voice came out deep. Deeper than she’d ever heard it before. He looked down at her. She did not seem frightened. She did not seem disgusted. She was touching the face of a demon and he could feel Chaos falling silent on her touch. The demon wasn't screaming inside his mind anymore. For once, it silenced down and he felt the urge to close his eyes and revel at the touch of her hand on his cheeks. It felt almost like Chaos was as touch-deprived as his host. Vincent knew now that je was going to keep her safe in this form and his demon wouldn't fight against that. A wicked creature that she had accepted _so easily_ whilst anybody else would just _run for their lives._

“Shall we go?”

She nodded “Yeah,” 

His claws clutched around her clothes when he shook his wings and took off. Jocasta let out a yelp and buried her face on his chest right away. She shut her eyes and her hands clutched on his shoulders when she realized there was no ground to stand on any longer. They were in the air, but his hands were tight around her, pressing her against him, keeping her body up, with him. She felt the weight of his lips pressing on top of her head. She was afraid and it made sense that she would be, but she had to remind herself that she _shouldn’t_ be because _he_ was holding her.

“Jocasta…” His breath reached her ear.

She opened her eyes. She had to focus. Hojo had fixed her fear of heights. _She had to focus,_ but she always had a feeling that Hojo hadn't fixed that one flaw of hers. but when she looked up at him, and she met those golden eyes with her own, it all seemed to fade away. His hands were right around her. There was no force on Gaia that would make him let go of her. And then she sighed, and her hands tightened around the sharp, broad shoulders of the creature. The shoulders of her lover.

She looked at those pale lips. A colour that would perfectly match the lips of a dead man, but she didn't care. She wasn't afraid of him. She wasn't afraid of this form. She wasn't afraid of Chaos. She embraced Chaos. It was a demon, but that demon was a part of the man that she loved, and she was sure that even if she tried to explain this, Vincent would never understand unless she showed it to him.

She leaned in and tasted the lips of the creature. She joined the lips of the demon with her own and she felt the claws of the creature digging in her shirt hard enough to bruise the skin of her waist, but she didn't care. His tongue met her own, and it didn't feel like Vincent's kisses. This one was primal, and desperate. Desperate for a taste of affection. Desperate for _her._ Something that the demon would call _his own._

Chaos growled in her mouth before he suckled on her lip harshly enough to leave it swollen. But Vincent still had control over it all, and he couldn't believe that she had just kissed that wicked creature just because it was a part of him. He couldn't bring himself to explain how his heart felt that moment. That woman loved him. His hold tightened around her as he pulled back to look at her. He was going to protect her with his life. He wanted to kiss her again. He would do it. _After this is all over._ He would do more to her than just _kiss her._

“…guide me,” Vincent said and she looked up at him. She nodded before she turned her attention at whatever existed below them.

She recognized the old streets, _or whatever remained of them._ She then looked at the Shinra Tower that rested in the middle of it all. “Shinra Tower. Top floor,” she said.

Vincent nodded and he started flying towards the large building that was _miraculously_ still standing. It didn’t have much left in it. The sounds of the gunfire and the bombings were getting louder and louder the higher he flew. Vincent made sure his back was turned against them, should anything come their way, to hit him and not her. His hands just tightened around her as she buried her face in his neck and tried not to look down or anywhere else but _him._

She wasn’t afraid of that _wicked, demonic_ form and he was still surprised about that. He just knew that she was the only one who could ever _love_ him so much, like _this._ He just knew he had to protect her. And when they landed at the top floor of the Shinra Tower, she had noticed his wings were folded around her, making sure the impact of their landing wasn’t going to harm her at all.

He pulled his wings back and transformed back into himself. Vincent let out a grunt and a groan of pain. He collapsed on his knees and Jocasta knelt beside him. His hands clutched on her as he pressed his forehead against her shoulder and took a moment to catch his breath. He felt Jocasta’s hand caressing his back, while the other found his hair. She pressed a kiss on his temple.

“Hang in there,” she said.

She knew how much transformation _hurt._ The stretching of muscles, and bones, and skin. The claws, the shouting in his mind. She felt him sighing against her shoulder, before he lifted his face and looked at her. He had that look of _gratitude_ before he urged himself to stand back to his feet. Jocasta helped him and gave him a smile.

The two of them looked around them for a second, searching for Sephiroth and Yuffie, but Hester’s voice came from their intercoms _“Sephiroth and Yuffie were kept busy by a Deepground squad on the ground floors. No worries. I’ll keep in touch. A TSVIET is dispatched on the floor you’re currently in. Good luck,”_

“Thanks, Hester,” Vincent said before Hester ended the call.

“A TSVIET…” Jocasta mumbled “…they would send Rosso first, then Azul, then…” she sighed “…Nero,”

Vincent stuffed a few more bullets into Cerberus “Stay behind me,”

Jocasta crossed her hands against her chest “I can handle Rosso. Azul, though, we’ll have to take him together,”

“No. I take both, you stand back,” he insisted.

“Vincent-!” Jocasta tried to protest, but then a voice came from behind that made them both turn around and see who it was.

“Well, well, still alive I see. And you two call yourselves human,” It was Rosso. She must have been waiting for them up there.

“More human than you,” Vincent said as he threw a protective hand around Jocasta urging her to move behind him.

“Tell me something I don’t already know, darling,” Rosso started laughing “You think you can protect her from me?” she pointed her sword to Jocasta’s direction.

Jocasta took out her Sais and walked away from Vincent’s hand. She got in her stance and she chuckled “Oh no, sister. Your head on my wall will be a pretty good wedding present for me,” After all those times of being beaten up and tied down, and experimented on, Jocasta was finally going to take her revenge on that _wicked_ woman.

Rosso laughed amusingly “You think you can kill a TSVIET? You two have lived long enough. I’ll make sure you don’t come back this time,” she whipped her sword, unlocking its two blades “By slicing you into pieces!”

Rosso attacked. Jocasta crushed her Sais with Rosso’s sword. Vincent started firing towards Rosso’s direction. She jumped away immediately, avoiding the bullets and Jocasta attacked again. She tried to slice Rosso’s stomach with her Sais, but Rosso made another step back. The TSVIET passed a foot beneath Jocasta’s legs, trying to make her lose her balance and fall, but Jocasta jumped. Jocasta swiftly moved out of the way as Rosso’s sword came for her. It would’ve sliced her stomach in half.

She crushed her Sais with Rosso’s sword again, a couple of times as Rosso attacked her powerfully with rage. She knew that Rosso was never really good with controlling her emotions while fighting. Maybe she could use that against her. Jocasta created a swift cut on the woman’s shoulder. Rosso let out a laugh. She jumped out of the way as another bullet came towards her. She used her sword to dodge a couple of bullets that Vincent shot at her but her eyes never let go of Jocasta.

“You think you’re better than me just because you’re Weiss’s favourite?” Rosso laughed again and she turned around and started shooting at Vincent who jumped out of the way immediately. She turned back at Jocasta and rolled her sword between her fingers “Just because you know how to bow down and lick the boots of your master?” she spat on the floor “Pathetic!”

“Jealous?” Jocasta raised an eyebrow and Rosso laughed.

“Me? Jealous of you?” Rosso laughed louder “At least, I embrace what I am!”

Jocasta groaned as she attacked her again. _Yes,_ she never wanted to become a TSVIET, and _yes,_ she never embraced it like the others had. But she was not very different from them. She too was a _monster_. She too was a scientist that could create more of these mindless beasts that she despised. Maybe Rosso was _right_. She couldn’t embrace that. _Herself._ She had killed and committed so many terrible things as a TSVIET. _It’s been a year._

Rosso bowed, avoiding a side-kick that came from Vincent. But she was too busy dodging Jocasta’s attacks. She wasn’t fast enough to avoid a punch. Vincent punched her hard on the gut and she groaned. He shot another bullet at her, but she moved and the bullet found her shoulder. Before Rosso had the chance to attack, Jocasta climbed on top of her. She passed a foot around her neck, pulling her down with her weight. Rosso cried out as Jocasta rolled her on the floor, face down on the cement and Jocasta’s knee pressed her down on top of her back.

Rosso’s hands fisted as she punched on the floor trying to get Jocasta off of her. She grunted “Absurd! Someone… stronger than me… Absurd!” she cried out.

“Who’s bowing down now, bitch?” Jocasta growled as she grabbed her Sai. Her fingers fisted around Rosso’s crimson hair before she dragged her face up and she slit her throat.

Jocasta looked up, noticing Vincent looking down at her wide-eyed for a single second, before he contained his surprise back. He hadn’t seen her making such moves while fighting, and he hadn’t seen her slitting people’s throats _like that_ before. He wasn’t even aware that she was capable of doing that. And _now_ that he’d seen her, he wasn’t sure if he should be worried or _enticed._

Jocasta stood back up on her feet and she rolled her Sais between her fingers before she settled them back in their cases on her belt. She gave him a look “You’re staring,”

He hadn’t even noticed he had been _staring_ “My apologies,”

Jocasta laughed “My TSVIET training is paying off,” she looked down at Rosso’s shaking body as her blood trickled out of her throat and she was slowly drowning in it. Her entire body was going to be coloured in it and Jocasta couldn’t help but smirk on the sight.

“I… see that,” Vincent pinpointed before he shook his head and snapped out of it. “Let’s go,”


	91. The Final Showdown Pt. 3: Azul the Cerulean

_“The ground squads have not been able to penetrate the Deepground defenses. The Mako Reactors are still operating at full capacity,”_ Hester’s voice came from the intercoms.

“So it seems,” Vincent said.

“What’s Sephiroth’s and Yuffie’s status?” Jocasta asked.

 _“I’ve guided them through an alternative passage into Deepground from the lower floors of the Shinra Tower,”_ Hester said. The fast typing of her fingers against her keyboard was audible from the intercom _“You should be able to reach Deepground by the elevator of floor 65. Give me a moment to hack through the main server to figure out the password. Even if I do, floor 65 is a maze, I should probably be- able to- …and then- …I’m gonna send- …the- connection is-”_

They were slowly losing the connection and Jocasta wouldn’t be surprised. They were a few meters beneath the rubble of a destroyed city. Hester ended the call. She had to find other ways to contact them. 

“Which floor are we in now?” Vincent asked.

Jocasta looked around at the familiar place. She had been working in that building with Hojo for three years. She could recognize how it must’ve been looking like beneath the rubble.

“Looks like floor 67. I hope the stairs at least haven’t been ruined,” Jocasta hurried over the left side of the room finding the stairs.

Vincent followed her closely behind, cautiously examining the dark building should any threats arise. They reached floor 66, but the rest of the stairs were crashed by debris and the way was blocked by rubbles of cement, metal and bricks.

“Dammit,” Jocasta cursed and then she turned at Vincent.

He had been standing over a hole on the floor made by another rubble of debris. It should lead to floor 65, and the hole was large enough for a body to pass through.

“Nice thinking,” Jocasta walked towards it and she proceeded to jump through, but Vincent stopped her right away. His hand pushed her back and she shot him a look. “What?”

“I’ll go first,” Vincent said, before he jumped through the hole and made sure that everything looked safe from below.

When everything looked safe, he signed her to follow and she sighed before jumped through the hole, preparing herself to land on her knees, but instead, Vincent caught her. She landed in his arms, and he caught her bridal style without really putting much effort into it.

Jocasta smiled up at him and cupped his face as he held her for a few more seconds “Vince, I know you’re trying to help, but I can land on my own two feet, you know,”

He gave her an unreadable expression before he let her back down “Noted,” He knew she was very much capable of taking care of herself, but he couldn’t stop himself from _wanting_ to _protect_ her.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Tifa kept punching and kicking the Deepground soldiers that came her way. Everything that happened around them was indeed a chaos of people crashing against each other. Bombs and arrows, and bullets flew all around the two sides. The WRO soldiers were fighting fiercely the Deepground soldiers who were bigger in numbers. Barret was shooting with the new model of his gun-arm. His shouts were almost audible in the entire place, but she could tell he was _very much_ enjoying this.

Tifa had to admit. She too enjoyed teaming up again and helping fight another threat. She couldn’t believe after all these years Shinra was back. Or at least, Shinra’s _dark secret_ was back. She couldn’t believe Hojo was alive and after everything that had happened, they were still fighting outside Midgar, _again._ That cursed city should just be destroyed from _head to toe._

She looked over at Cloud as he sliced his sword through the armour of another bomber, bringing it down and crashing a few more Deepground soldiers beneath it. He cut through another squad of Deepground soldiers that attacked him and he hurried towards her. He sliced through their weapons, arms, legs skillfully with his advanced equipment. She would never get tired of watching him fight.

Tifa noticed another series of soldiers rushing towards her from behind. She turned around, side-kicking a soldier hard on his face and knocking him off. She jabbed the chest of another soldier. She kicked another making them wince and lose their balance and kneel. Tifa kicked them hard on their heads before they passed out on the soil. Another soldier came from behind. He tried to shoot at her but she moved back avoiding the bullet. She moved out of the way and Cloud rushed towards that very same soldier, slicing through his hands with his sword.

Once they made sure that no more of them were going to attack, Cloud looked up at the sky. It was getting darker and darker. Night was falling fast. They had been fighting all day and the Deepground soldiers were getting lesser and lesser by the minute, but the Mako Reactors were still functional and he couldn’t help but wonder what their status was.

He had just received a file in his phone from Hester who couldn’t get it through the Shinra Tower for Vincent and Jocasta. Cloud hurried towards Tifa and he handed her his phone.

“I just received a map from Hester…” Cloud said. He noticed another soldier rushing towards them and he gripped his sword as he stood in front of Tifa ready to defend her “…it’s for Vincent and Jocasta. She can’t get it through!” he cried out as he crashed his sword with the soldier’s before taking him down too. “See if you can get through, I got you covered!”

Tifa nodded and she turned at Cloud’s phone, flipping it open. She found the file and she sent it to Vincent’s phone. It seemed to have loaded, but she had to make sure. She called them and the first couple of times were not answered, but then somebody responded.

“Hey! I got through!” Tifa said and she noticed Barret firing at the soldiers that rushed towards her from the back.

 _“Tifa?”_ Vincent’s voice came from the other line.

“Wha?! You got through?!” Barret fired a couple more bullets before he grabbed the phone from her hand and pressed it against his ear “Yo! Vincent! Joe! You two still alive?!”

“Of course, they are, we’re talking to them, aren’t we?” Tifa said before she grabbed back the phone “And do you really have to shout right next to my ear?”

Barret laughed “Sorry ‘bout that, Tifa,”

Tifa sighed “I apologize about that, Vincent. Here’s Cloud,” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

_“Vincent, Joe?”_

Cloud’s voice came from the phone. Vincent had opened up the speaker so that they could both hear.

“Cloud… it’s been a while,” Vincent said “Cid’s airship?”

_“We lost contact about fifteen minutes ago…”_

“Dammit!” Jocasta kicked the floor worriedly.

Cloud’s sword crashing with guns and weapons, along with Barret’s crying out and shooting were pretty much audible in the call “ _I don’t think we should worry though. Those two should be fine,”_

“And what about you?” Vincent asked.

 _“What do you think?”_ Cloud chuckled cockily.

 _“Right! You can count on us,”_ Tifa’s voice came.

 _“When I’m through, there won’t be a single sucka standin’!”_ Barret’s voice came, and even though it sounded like he wasn’t nearby, it was still loud.

Vincent chuckled and Jocasta shook her head “Some things never change,” she commented “Do you have any word from Sephiroth and Yuffie?” she asked.

 _“They’re at the Shinra Tower floor 54. No worries. Hester sent them a map as well,”_ Cloud said “ _And as for you two-”_

“No worries. Leave Deepground to us,” Vincent said.

“Don’t you guys have intercoms?” Jocasta asked.

 _“Deepground hijacked all modern frequencies. Hester found a map for you two. It should guide you from floor 65 to Deepground. She couldn’t get it through from the base, but we’re closer. Maybe we can from here,”_ Cloud answered.

 _“Vincent, Jocasta, I’m sending it now.”_ Tifa said _“Deepground is below the complex. You guys find an elevator and go as far below as you can. Good luck!”_

_“Impress your lady and give ‘em hell, Vincent!”_

_“Barret! I thought I told you not to-”_

_“Don’t go getting yourselves killed, you two,”_

And Cloud ended the call. Jocasta chuckled and she stood beside him as he opened the map that he had just received. She hummed.

“Of course!” She clicked her fingers “There’s a cargo transferring elevator on the 65th floor. It makes sense that this one would get deep enough to get us to Deepground,”

Vincent nodded “Alright. You go back. I’ll take it from now,” he began walking towards the elevator, but Jocasta got in his way.

“I’m not letting you face Azul on your own, Vincent,”

“I’ll be fine,”

“No, no, no, no, absolutely not,” Jocasta shook her head stubbornly. There was no way she was letting him face that beast on his own. She knew what Azul was capable of. She knew every single genetical change that had been made in his genetic material. She couldn’t leave Vincent no matter how much she wanted to _listen to him._

“Jocasta-”

“No, Vincent, we kill Azul first, and then we’ll see about me leaving,” Jocasta insisted. She noticed that frown on his lips when he sighed and nodded. “Hey,” Jocasta’s hand found his cheek as she looked up at him and his hands found her waist. “I can’t go back without knowing whether your safe or not,”

“I can’t go on knowing that _you_ ’re _not_ safe,”

Jocasta sighed “I _am_ safe. I survived this place for an entire year. Please, let me come with you,”

Her thumb stroked his cheek and he let out a sigh as he let his head lean onto it. He knew that this was probably something that he was going to regret, but he nodded. Jocasta smiled up at him, before she tugged on his cloak urging him to lean down and bring her closer. And he did. He buried his face on her shoulder and shut his eyes for a mere second.

He felt her breaths brushing against his neck as she nuzzled her face into it and she sighed. Her hands tugged on his collar and he pulled back to speak against her ear “Alright, but this time when I say ‘stand back’, you stand back,” his hand pushed her hair behind her ear and he pulled back to look down at her.

Jocasta nodded “Okay,”

She let him walk ahead and guide her through the 65th floor. The closer they got towards Deepground, the louder she could almost hear Omega’s voices inside her head. She could tell Vincent was uneasy too. She knew that both these entities just _didn’t_ want to be in that place. And she wouldn’t blame them. It didn’t take long when they found the huge cargo shipping elevator, and as expected, Azul was there, waiting for them.

“So, Rosso didn’t survive,” Azul said he chuckled “Something inside both of you two wants out. Their stench it’s so very familiar, though…” Azul’s yellow eyes found Jocasta and he pointed at her “…I’ve beaten you up before…” he laughed “…countless of times, actually. Have you come here to _beg_ again?”

Jocasta drew out her Sais and got in her stance, shooting the beast a deadly look “I’d be damned,”

“Oh, you mean you haven’t had enough already?” Azul asked.

“Are you done?” Vincent pointed Cerberus at him and Azul laughed drawing out his own massive weapon.

“Alright then. I’ll take you both!” Azul started firing with his massive gun. Huge bullets that they could take out any beast’s body.

Jocasta and Vincent jumped out of the way immediately. The elevator began moving downwards. It was going to take some time for it to reach as far as Deepground was beneath. Jocasta grabbed a red arrow from her back and she shot it at him. Azul caught it, and it blew up on his face, but it just didn’t make any damage at all. Jocasta kicked the floor and cursed. She let her bow back, and she drew out her Sais.

She knew Vincent didn’t want her to attack or engage into that fight at all, but they had no choice. She could tell both his and her demons were getting unstable the closer they reached Deepground, she couldn’t let him face Azul alone. Vincent kept firing bullets at Azul while he too kept firing at the two with his own gun. The two of them just avoided the massive bullets that came from Azul.

Jocasta jumped on top of him, stabbing a dagger at the back of his head, but he just laughed. His hand found her and he grabbed her body tossing her over the metallic wall of the huge elevator. Jocasta gasped as her back hit the metallic wall and she landed back on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Vincent rushed in front of her to defend her. He shot at Azul, standing between him and Jocasta for as long as it took for her to catch her breath.

Vincent’s bullets found Azul’s chest and he hurried towards the beast, punching and kicking. An arrow found Azul’s chest. A green one. A poisonous one, but Jocasta doubted it would make him any damage. Azul’s hand reached for Vincent, ready to hit him, but Vincent jumped out of the way, avoiding the hit. Jocasta reached for another arrow and she shot it on the beast’s chest. Azul winced slightly. _That’s something._

Azul laughed “This is how a battle should be. Don’t you think so?”

Vincent let out a grunt. His hand found his chest as they pain radiated from there. Chaos wanted to come out indeed. Jocasta hurried towards him. She looked worriedly up at him as she passed a hand around his shoulders. He nodded reassuringly at her before she got the chance to ask.

“Now feel my true strength! Feel the wrath of the mighty Azul the Cerulean!” And then he transformed into huge, ugly, blue beast.

Jocasta had seen him transform before, but this time she cringed, and she found herself further walking behind Vincent. “We’re fucked,”

“I can take him,” Vincent said reassuringly as he stuffed a couple more bullets into Cerberus.

“ _We_ ,” she corrected him and she grabbed both her Sais and attacked.

She cut through the massive beast’s skin and it growled and shrieked. Its hands reached for her, but Jocasta jumped away, and then another beast attacked it and Jocasta had to stand back for a moment, and watch the Galian Beast, cutting through Azul’s skin, with its sharp claws and fangs. Growling wildly as it cut through Azul’s flesh. She felt like cheering for a moment, because the Galian Beast didn’t really look like it needed her help, and it didn’t take long when Azul fell down dead, and Vincent transformed back to himself.

Jocasta hurried towards him and helped Vincent stand, but he threw a protective hand around her, urging her to make a few steps back when Azul stood back up and rushed towards them. Jocasta pushed Vincent out of the way, and Azul’s hand found her and smacked her to the side like an insect. She let out an alarmed yelp and she landed back on her knees.

And that’s when Vincent let out the beast. _Chaos_. He transformed back into his demon and Azul transformed back into himself. Azul let out a gasp and made a step back as he looked at Chaos. A gray skin merged with his clothes, skeletal, and the hair merged with the bandana, the wings, a dark red with claws, and cracks all over the demonic creature’s face. Chaos looked up at Azul, with the piercing golden eyes and Azul made another step back.

“Chaos,”

Azul mumbled, before Vincent grabbed Azul’s gun that rested nearby, and threw it his way, too fast and too powerful, stabbing the huge gun into Azul’s stomach. Azul grunted and grasped his gun that entered from his stomach and extended from his back.

“It looks like… you were more of a beast than I…” Azul smiled and made a few steps back over the edge of the elevator “…very well. I’ll see you again, Vincent. I’ll meet you both again. In hell!” and then he jumped over the edge, and his laughter echoed while he fell to his death.

Jocasta let out a sigh of relief, but then she heard that growling. That wild snarl as if it was a wild animal and she turned at Chaos. It seemed to have taken the complete control over Vincent’s body, as he snarled and tossed and turned, and torn its claws on its own skin. She knew Vincent was still somewhere beneath the beast. Beneath that wicked exoskeleton. Beneath that grey skin.

She made a few steps towards him, and the more she approached him, the more it snarled and took a few steps back, away from her. “Vincent…” it seemed like the sound of its master’s name coming from her, it was driving it insane. She approached the wild creature, till its back found the column. “…Vincent,” she repeated and it snarled.

She opened her mouth to speak, and she lifted her hand to touch him, but its hand rushed towards her, with the sharp clawed gauntlet. It dug its claws deep into the skin of her forearm, cutting her muscles and splitting her tendons. Jocasta screamed out in pain, but she did not draw her hand back. Her scream seemed to have drawn him back out again. He drew his claws out of her skin, which started healing right away, and he fell back on his back, panting hard.

Jocasta knelt beside him, as Vincent transformed back to himself. She looked down at her torn sleeve. The pain started retreating as the wounds started healing right away. She looked down at Vincent who slowly started passing out. She settled him on her lap. They were still going down, and from the looks of it they still had a long way.

Jocasta’s hand reached for his and she let him rest for a moment there, in her lap. She looked down at his peaceful face and she leaned in, pressing a kiss on his half-hidden forehead. She knew that he never meant to hurt her whenever he did. She knew he was suffering _so much_ every time he’d have to transform. It must’ve been so hard to control Chaos at the current state that he was in.

Her fingers found his face. He was breathing rhythmically. She wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for him. She wouldn’t have survived Deepground if she wasn’t waking up every day with the hope that she would get to see him again. She just brought his body closer to hers and pressed her lips on top of his bandana.

“You can control him, Vincent. You can control him,” she mumbled and she knew that maybe he couldn’t hear her, but it didn’t really matter. She just kept holding him tight. She knew what they were about to face and sighed shakily “We need to make it out of here,” she said and she knew she was mostly trying to convince _herself_ that everything was going to be alright. She chuckled and urged herself to think of something _happier._ “Do you know where I want our house to be? Somewhere with much, much greenery. Somewhere far, far away from cities and towns and…” she just chuckled “…somewhere far away from people,” her fingers tightened around his and she rested her cheek on top of his head “Just please, stay with me,” 


	92. The Final Showdown Pt. 4: With You Till The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'With You Till the End' by Tommee Profitt and Sam Tinnesz

_“Ha! I thought I heard a rat down here!”_

_He could recognize that voice. It was Hojo. Vincent could barely see anything outside of the Mako Tube when that cursed scientist walked in the lab. Lucrecia was there._

_“And just what do you think you’re doing with my… failed experiment?”_

_“Get out of my lab!” Lucrecia cried out but he cut her._

_“Silence! I’m the one giving orders here!” Hojo reminded her, before he peeked at the monitors behind her. He approached them and she got in the way. He chuckled “Omega? And… Chaos?” he laughed as he turned and looked back at Vincent “I see. Another experiment? You’re using this fine specimen to finish your Thesis, aren’t you, Doctor?” he asked, amused._

_“No! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong!” Lucrecia cried out; her fingers dug in her hair as she shut her eyes._

_“Am I? Once a scientist, always a scientist, I must say. How happy this fellow must be, helping his beloved even after he has began rotting away,” and then he laughed but Jocasta walked in and Hojo’s smile disappeared upon seeing her being there “What are you doing here?! If I recall correctly, you didn’t like experimenting on human bodies,”_

_Jocasta walked towards Lucrecia and passed a hand around her shoulders. Lucrecia clutched on her friend’s shirt as she cried on her shoulder. Jocasta shot a glare towards the mad, young scientist._

_“What did you do to him?” She demanded. One hand around Lucrecia, the other fisting in anger, so tight, she could feel her nails clawing in the skin of her palm like a sharp knife._

_Hojo laughed “Me? Do you think I’d waste the chance of putting that fine specimen to use?” He laughed “You’re smart, Dr. Ernchester. You’re not wasting your chance here either. Of course, he failed. But nevertheless, I got what I wanted,” he let out another of his insane laughs “You two experiment for all I care!” he said and with that he walked out of the lab leaving them alone._

_Jocasta ran a hand through Lucrecia’s hair soothingly. Lucrecia looked up her and she wiped another tear that came running down her cheek._

_“I’m not experimenting on him… this is not an experiment…”_

It was, _partly._ He knew that the only reason Jocasta was there back then, was because she was the only one who could put the Protomateria in his chest. He didn’t know how long it’s been since he’d passed out, he just knew that when he opened his eyes, he noticed someone’s hands around him, and the elevator was still going downwards. He felt a weight pressing on his forehead and he looked up seeing Jocasta. She had a peaceful expression on her face. Her eyes were closed, and her fingers were tight around his.

He realized his head was resting in her lap and he let out sigh of relief, closing his eyes for a moment. When she noticed movement, she opened her eyes and looked down at him. Her hand found his face, and he leaned on her touch and sighed again. His crimson eyes looked up at her and she looked worriedly down at him.

“How’re you feeling?” She asked, stroking his cheek with her thumb, tenderly.

“I’m better now,” He said. His hand let go of hers and reached for her face. He cupped her cheek, before he brought her down, guiding her to lean in and reach for his lips.

She kissed him and they both sighed in the kiss. Her lips lingered against his. Soft and trembling. His fingers slipped down her neck, keeping her head steady as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, meeting hers. Both moaned and shut their eyes and tried to hold onto that kiss for as long as they had.

Why did it feel like this? Why did it feel like something bad was going to happen? Something _terrible._ Jocasta excused that feeling. They were on their way into Deepground. That _dark, ominous_ place where she had made so many bad, _atrocious_ memories that would haunt her in the nights. She hated that place with all her might. It scared her. It _terrified_ her. She didn’t want to be there. But she had to. She had to make sure that Vincent, Sephiroth, and Yuffie would come back.

They pulled away from the kiss to catch their breath. She pressed her forehead against his, and she exhaled shakily, shutting her eyes. His hand reached for hers. Warm gloved fingers slipped around hers, keeping them steady.

“You’re shaking,” Vincent’s fingers tightened around hers. He sat up beside her and she buried her face in his neck. Her whole body was trembling. She breathed him in and shut her eyes. Her fingers clenched around his clothes and his hand found her hair. He knew she was scared. She had every right to be. She must’ve been through so many _horrible_ things during her time there. But he hated to watch her being like this. He hated to have her shaking and clutching on him in _fear._ He wanted to stop her from being like that. “Jocasta-”

“I’m so sorry, I just- I can’t-” she pulled back to look at him and his hand found her cheek, cutting her.

“It’s alright, I’m here,” his voice soothed her. His thumb found her cheek “I won’t let anything happen to you. We’ll make it out of here,”

She nodded. She wanted to believe him. She wanted _so much_ to believe all that he had said. But she still knew that _so many things could happen down there._ She knew that this wasn’t over yet. _No,_ she knew that it hadn’t even _began._

“Okay,” And then she gasped when she realized that the elevator stopped. They had _arrived._ They had finally reached Deepground. And then the gates opened. The gates of _hell._ The two of them stood up and his hand reached for hers. He laced their fingers together.

“Ready?” he asked. He couldn’t proceed without her consent.

Jocasta nodded “Let’s go,”

Vincent walked first, with her hand in his and Cerberus in the other. He heard her grabbing a dagger from her sleeve before the two of them entered in. It was an entire city, built underground. The smell was the moisture in the air and _phenol._ Jocasta was never surprised about it. The entire place was filled with test subjects and specimens, and experiments. It would make sense that the entire place would smell like a _lab._ It _was_ a lab.

Those things were flying in the air. Failed experiments that were just left to live out their self-destructing lives. Ugly creatures. Hojo had told her he was trying to merge the genetic material of a bat with other creatures’ genome. She never understood why this man did _anything._

Those things flew towards them and attacked. Vincent’s hand let go of hers and he started shooting with Cerberus, taking them down. Jocasta grabbed a poisonous arrow and shot it at them. She kept doing that till they were all left to crash back down on the empty streets of the Undercity.

And then a familiar chatter came from behind.

“So, I don’t get it, where did you put all that hair…?”

Jocasta and Vincent turned around only to see Yuffie and -a very much _done_ \- Sephiroth, walking out of another gate and approaching them.

“…I mean, where does anybody put their hair when they cut them?”

“Haven’t you ever cut your hair?” Sephiroth asked.

“I don’t have _that_ much hair when I cut mine! Yours must’ve been like- what? Three miles long? You were legit like Rapunzel! Oooh! Ooh! Can I call you that???” Yuffie poked his shoulder with her finger and he groaned, rubbing his temple from the insistent ache that she had been causing him for the past _two hours._

“No,” he replied dryly.

“Great! Rapunzel it is! It suits you!” Yuffie jumped around annoyingly, and when her attention fell at Jocasta and Vincent, she let out an exclamation before she rushed towards them. “You two are still alive!” the young ninja passed a hand around Jocasta’s shoulders “We kicked so much butt! Really! Sephy and I make a _dopeeee_ team, bro!”

Jocasta’s attention fell on Sephiroth who was still rubbing his temple, groaning “Are you okay, sweetie?” she asked.

“Been having a _massive_ headache,” Sephiroth answered.

“Ooh! Where?!” The ninja asked and Jocasta rolled her eyes. _It’s called a ‘head’ache._

“There it is,” Sephiroth pointed at the ninja and she frowned.

“Heyyyy, your old ass wouldn’t have made it through those troopers without my _impressive_ ninja skills,” Yuffie bragged.

“I’ve seen better,” Sephiroth said dryly.

“Huh?! Who’s better?! I’mma go kick their ass and show you, I’m the fiercest-”

“We got company,” Vincent reminded them as he took out Cerberus and pointed it at a couple of Deepground soldiers that came their way. Sephiroth’s hand reached for the Masamune, and Yuffie’s hand reached for her Shuriken, but Jocasta walked forwards and stopped them all three.

“What the hell are you doing-?!” Yuffie cried out but Jocasta cut her.

“They’re guards, they wouldn’t have been notified,” Jocasta said and as she had guessed, they _hadn’t_ been notified. The Deepground soldiers lowered down their targets upon seeing her.

“Commander! What are you doing here?”

Vincent raised an eyebrow. _Commander?_

“What am I doing here?! What are _you_ doing here!?” Jocasta smacked the man on the chest “You should be up there aiding Deepground’s forces!”

“But we’re on guard duty-”

“Fuck guard duty, we’re losing a war here! Azul and Rosso are dead already! Gather your squads and get the hell outta here!” Jocasta cried out.

Vincent found himself lowering his guard, and so did Yuffie and Sephiroth. Yuffie, Sephiroth, and Vincent exchanged a few weird looks, but better chose to remain silent and look at the confused soldiers who visibly had no idea what to do.

“B- But we have to keep the Undercity safe-”

“Does this place look like it fuckin’ needs protection!? You’ll be keeping it safe by fighting those fuckin’ WROs! Or would you rather have me and my lovely little demon, suck your blood dry from your very veins till you’re left shaking on the floor with my boot on your face?!”

Vincent could’ve sworn, the soldiers were _now_ shaking. “N- N- No…”

“Good! Now, gather your goddamn squads and get the hell outta here, Lieutenant!”

The Lieutenant and his troopers shakily, but immediately saluted “Yes, ma’am!” before they set off immediately to complete the orders. Jocasta turned at the other three who were staring at her. Vincent had a smirk on his lips, but Yuffie and Sephiroth were just _wide-eyed._

“Whoah- You scared the shit outta those guys!” Yuffie said in excitement.

“Impressive,” Sephiroth admitted.

 ** _Hot._** Vincent cleared his throat trying to ignore Chaos’s brief comment, and he hid his face further behind the collar of his cloak trying to hide his ever-growing smile.

_Behave._

Jocasta smirked and turned at the other three “Welcome to Deepground,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

She led them towards the base. The streets were empty and it made sense that they would be. All of Deepground’s forces were out to battle the WRO. Only those flying creatures were around and every now and then, the team would have to pause and fight them when they attacked. But there weren’t many, and they reached the entrance of the Reactor no long after.

Jocasta looked at the entrance of the building that she remembered being dragged in to _talk_ to _Weiss -_ or else _\- Hojo._ She was expecting for Nero to show up sooner or later. He wouldn’t be able to battle them all four. And he did show up. He was standing by the gate, with his wings and that _freaky_ outfit that always _freaked_ Jocasta out. Those red eyes stared back at them. His black hair fell on his back and his wings stood by the sides.

“Jocasta,” he recognized her immediately “How nice to see you here. Won’t you introduce me to your new friends?”

Vincent pointed Cerberus at him, Yuffie drew out her Shuriken, getting in her stance, and Sephiroth drew out the Masamune. But Jocasta didn’t get in her stance at all. She just stood there and spoke.

“How’s your _beloved_ brother? Did he kill him yet?” Jocasta raised an eyebrow.

“ _He_?” Nero asked confusedly for a second.

“Tell me, Nero, how much do you love your brother?” Jocasta asked.

“He’s the only one who’s ever loved me, and the only one I’ll ever love,” Nero said.

“Good. And how would you react if I told you that you’re both in danger?” Jocasta asked and Nero laughed.

“Who could possibly threaten me and the mighty Weiss?”

“Believe it or not, I can think of _some_ body…” Jocasta’s hand reached for Vincent’s Cerberus and Sephiroth’s Masamune, urging them both to lower down their weapons “…Hojo, he made you like that, didn’t he? And now he’s going to do the same to your brother,”

“Professor Hojo’s dead-”

“No. He’s uploaded himself on the network, but he has no body, so he’s going to use your brother’s body. You’re never gonna get your brother back Nero, unless you do exactly what I tell you,”

“What do you think will make me trust you?”

“We have a common enemy. We can either fight, and kill you like we did with the other TSVIETs, or you can help us kick his ass,” Jocasta suggested.

“Dramaqueen, what are you doing?! I don’t like this guy,” Yuffie whispered from behind.

“Hush!” Jocasta whispered back. 

“For once, I agree with the oblivious ninja,” Sephiroth whispered back and Yuffie smacked his shoulder.

“Heyyyy!” she protested “What does ‘oblivious’ even mean?!”

“Uneducated as well,” Sephiroth added with a smirk on his lips.

“Says the guy who can’t read,” Yuffie threw back and his smirk disappeared replaced by a deadly look focused on the ninja.

“You can’t read?” Vincent asked surprised, turning at his son “We’ll have to change that, young man,”

“Guys!” Jocasta scolded “Focus!”

“Valid theory, Jocasta, but I’ll have to see for myself!” Nero said before he hurried into the building of the Mako Reactor 0.

“Let’s go,” Jocasta hurried behind him and the other three followed.

“Someone will have to shut the reactor,” Vincent said.

“I’ll do it!” Yuffie offered immediately as the four of them hurried into the building

Sephiroth sighed “I’ll go with you,”

“I don’t need any babysitting you know,” Yuffie gave him a look.

“Yes, you do,” Sephiroth insisted.

“Heyyy-!”

“Joe, where’s the Reactor’s Mako Storage?” Sephiroth asked, ignoring the ninja.

The four of them stopped and Jocasta looked around the familiar halls and corridors of the metallic, rusty building. She pointed on the right side of the corridor “All the way down the hall, and then you’ll turn on the first door the left, and then again all the way down the other hall till you find the-”

“We’ll figure it out,” Yuffie said as she hurried down the hall with Sephiroth following hastily from behind.

“Go with them,” Vincent cut her and she turned at him shaking her head.

“No! And leave you to face Nero and Weiss alone?! Absolutely not, I can’t-” but he cut her. His hand found her cheek and the other found her waist. He pulled her close and looked down at her.

“Jocasta, listen to me…” He pressed his forehead against hers and he met her eyes with his “…I need you to leave. Shut the reactor, and leave. I need you alive. I need you safe. _Please_ ,” he _pleaded_ and Jocasta looked up at him and she saw the worry in his eyes. The fear. The fear of something happening to her, but what if something happened to him too? What if something happened to him, what would she do if something happened to him? She felt his hand clutching on her shirt, and his fingers spreading down her neck as he breathed shakily against her lips “…Lucrecia did not listen to me and I lost her, please. I don’t want to lose you too,”

 _No, he didn’t_ want to lose her. He couldn’t be able to stand that. And she couldn’t lose _him._ And she too wouldn’t be able to stand that either. But he’d never spoken so many words together. She’d never seen him _frightened_ like that. He could be facing the wildest beasts, but if something happened to her, he’d be _terrified_. She knew he already had lost _so much._ She knew she had to _listen to him._

Jocasta nodded “Alright,” she knew she’d regret _listening to him_ and _do as he asked,_ but then she saw the relief in his eyes, in his sigh, in the way his finger traced her cheek.

Both her hands found his face and she crashed her lips against his. His lips responded immediately. Both his hands slithered around her waist and forced her body to press against his. His tongue found hers and they both hummed in the kiss where they tried to linger on for as long as they could. Why did it feel like it was going to be their last? Why? _So much fear._ When someone _has everything,_ they _have so many things to lose._ And these two… they _had everything._ That’s why her fingers found his collar, and tugged on it. That’s why his hands clutched on her shirt, and his lips closed around hers, and he pressed her body close, and didn’t want to let go. But they had to. They pushed back and pressed their foreheads together and shut their eyes for a moment. Her heart hammered against her chest, when her hand found his cheek, urging him to look at her.

“Come back to me,” Jocasta whispered shakily against his lips.

He smiled at her “Always,” and that was where he had to draw his hands away from her and grasp Cerberus and start walking away.

She just stood there and watched him while he left. It felt like that all over again. Just like the first time she _had to watch_ him _leave._ Back then when he was still a Turk. And that day back then he was heading for Hojo, and he had died and the same thing was happening again.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it immediately. _No,_ it wasn’t going to end like that this time. It _wasn’t._ It _couldn’t._ She started regretting leaving him. _Letting him go._ She started regretting it, and she wanted to run back to him, but her feet did not bulge.

She looked at the other direction of the corridor where Sephiroth and Yuffie had vanished. She sighed heavily, before she started heading that way. But she stopped when something caught her eye. She looked down on the floor and she saw a purplish, dense liquid. It looked like blood, but it was _purple._ It led somewhere, and she knew it’d be stupid to follow it. 

She followed it, though, keeping contact with Yuffie and Sephiroth with their intercoms and guiding them to the Mako Storage of Mako Reactor 0. She ended the call when they informed her that they had arrived and that they’d be taking it from _here._

Jocasta had seen that purple goo before, back when she was working with Hojo on the JENOVA Project. Something was _wrong_ and she wanted to find out. She just kept reminding herself that Vincent was going to be _okay_ even though he wasn’t answering in the intercom.

She was expecting to find a bleeding beast. One of the many specimens that resided within the Deepground Base. But she found no beast when she entered the room that that goo led her to, rather, she found a man. She recognized him. _It was Hojo_. He was in his lab coat. He was panting hard with a hand clenching around a wound on his stomach.

He was still wearing those circular glasses, that blue shirt, those black pants. Black hair tied back. _But_ where did he find this body? It looked so much like _his_ body. But _no,_ it couldn’t be his body. That one must’ve rotted, somewhere beneath the rubble of the ruins of Midgar. Something was wrong. He did hear her entering the room. It was a lab. A metallic table rested with tools and microscopes though the lights were dim. There must’ve been some power shortage. And she wouldn’t be surprised. Mako Reactor 0 was sucking all the power that ran this place.

Jocasta shook her hand, urging the dagger to slip from her sleeve and down to her hands. Her fingers gripped around the stem and she approached him. She knew that there was something wrong. How was he there? What was he doing there? He should be facing Vincent. He should be uploading his data fragments in Weiss’s body.

But _now,_ he was there. He had turned his back on her, but he seemed vulnerable. Too vulnerable. She waited for something to come loose and attack her, but nothing came. She approached him and nothing attacked her, no alarms resounded.

“I was hoping you’d come this way,” Hojo’s voice came. He wasn’t smiling. She couldn’t hear his smirk in his voice. She couldn’t hear that manipulative tune that he always seemed to have whenever he’d part those lips and talk.

“How… What is this?” Jocasta demanded.

He hummed and his head rolled up staring at the dim lights of the lab “Hester came up with that… peculiar little thing she called nanotechnology…” He chuckled “…tiny little robots combined together growing synthetic tissue. And like cells, they come together and make a body. It’s amazing what this... child is... capable of. You know…” He turned and looked at her. His feet didn’t seem all that stable. His hands trembled around those dissolving _cells_ on his stomach. That’s where that purple liquid had come from “…I’m… proud of her,” and then he looked down on the floor and he winced, and his other hand reached for support on the counter behind him. He had something on his face that she’d never seen before. _Sadness._ He was _sad_ and she could barely believe that “I never… let her know…” and then his attention fell on the dagger that she held tightly in her hand “Naught to worry, my dear. I’m dying too-”

But he didn’t get to finish when he collapsed on his knees and Jocasta caught him just in time. The dagger slipped off her hand and crashed on the metallic floor. She caught him and settled him on her lap. Hojo winced. His hands clenched around himself.

“Looks like …this body… is not strong enough to- to-”

“‘Too’?” She asked and he looked at her confusedly for a second “You said you’re dying ‘too’, who else is dying?”

He raised a shaky finger and pointed it at her “Y- You… you’ve got Omega… Even if you stop Omega’s… one part… It’s gonna use the other part. The one that I… put inside of you…”

“How do we stop it?” Jocasta’s hands tightened around his lab coat when she realized that he wasn’t giving her an answer, she shook him “Hojo, how do we stop it?!”

He looked up at her. He couldn’t bring himself to say it “You know how,”

Jocasta’s gaze drifted away from him for a second and she looked blankly at a random spot in the room. She looked at the dagger that she had dropped. She knew what Hojo was talking about. She knew that the only way to _kill_ an entity and send it back to the planet, was taking away its host. She stopped breathing for a couple of seconds and the tears gathered in her eyes. Maybe indeed some stories were never meant to _end happily._ Maybe she was _never_ meant to live a happy life _at all._

She looked at the man in her hands. It was the man that had ruined hers and so many people’s lives. It was the man who had _brought this_ upon her, yet again, she didn’t feel anger. She didn’t feel angry at him, because if she was, she would’ve already stabbed a dagger in his chest. But he was dying _anyway_. _Was he?_

“And what about you? What about Weiss and your brilliant plan to harbour his body with Omega?” Jocasta asked.

“Did you think… that I… wouldn’t have known that… you’d be here? That you’d ruin it? C’mon, my dear. We both know Omega needs a pure body to dwell in. Weiss is already merged with his brother… My… program’s only keeping… your beloved busy,” Hojo answered and he pointed at a monitor that was standing by the counter. It was the cameras showing Vincent and Weiss _just… talking._ They weren’t fighting, they were just… _talking._ He sighed deeply drawing her attention. He looked up at her “Did I have to die to get you to hold me like this?”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she didn’t know if it was for him, or if it was for her. “You could’ve just asked,”

He hummed “Yeah… that could’ve worked…” he chuckled. An honest chuckle. “Jocasta… always so willing to love the others…” he sighed “…I thought you were a fool. Feelings are no more than chemical reactions in the brain. I thought that… uploading myself in the network… it would stop them but-” he started coughing. His hand found his mouth, coughing out that purple liquid of what seemed to be this body’s blood.

She just didn’t know what to say, what to do. She just stared at him suffering in that body that was collapsing, and she knew that this should be a sight that she should enjoy, but she didn’t. A few years ago, she wanted nothing but watch him suffer and die, but _now. Now_ she was feeling _sorry. Pity. No,_ this couldn’t be happening. _No,_ this man must have had something else hidden under his sleeve. He wouldn’t just let himself die like that. But before she got the chance to open her mouth and speak, he spoke first.

“Do you know… what I feared… the most?” His voice barely came out, but she heard him. Further of that purple blood slipped down his lips as his eyes slipped away. “The knowledge of… dying… alone,”

She couldn’t believe she was feeling sorry for him. This man had made her life a living hell ever since the day they had met. She couldn’t believe she was holding her own nemesis in her hands. She couldn’t believe that she was the one who had to _watch_ him die. Normally, she wouldn’t be feeling bad. Normally, she would enjoy watching this man, die, but this was the first time he was _opening up_. Or at least it sounded like he was. He was _dying_. Why would he _lie_ now?

“I guess… I guess that’s why I created Hester…” he smiled “…she created that body for me but then… she… cast me aside too…” he looked up at her “Just like my parents did…” a tear slipped down his cheek “…just like Lucrecia did… and just like you did,” he winced “So I just kept creating… and discovering… and experimenting… so that I wouldn’t have to die… at all. At least, you… you won’t die alone,” his hand reached for something. It reached for hers.

She took his hand in hers and she couldn’t believe what she was saying, what she was doing, what she was thinking. Another tear slipped down her cheek and she hated that she could not hold back. “You’re not alone either, Hojo,”

And then his gaze slipped up at her, and then he snapped it away from her and he shook his head. Was he regretting something? She couldn’t tell. She could never tell what this man ever thought. He had brought so much pain upon her. She shouldn’t even be there. She shouldn’t have said that. She shouldn’t be crying and feeling all that pity, all that… _sadness._

“I never meant… to hurt you, Jocasta. I just wanted to make you better. I just wanted to make you… unbreakable, so that you won’t… feel any pain at all…” another tear slipped down his cheek. His hand shakily reached for his glasses but she took them off for him “…so that you… won’t have to die either… because you were… alone… too,”

She couldn’t believe he had said that. Maybe he did _care_. He _did care_ in his own unique, _weird_ way. He just wanted to _improve_ her, but he just didn’t know which methods were _right_ and which were _wrong._

And then he opened his mouth to speak. That liquid was bitter on his tongue. She knew what he was going to ask “Do you think… that you could ever…”

“In another life… yes,” she felt his fingers giving hers a gentle squeeze before he smiled. She had never seen him smiling like that before. A _genuine_ smile. A _real_ smile. One that wasn’t out of anger and hatred and _insanity._ It was utterly genuine.

And maybe in another life, she wouldn’t make the same mistake. Maybe she would understand it and approach him from the start and be with him from the very beginning, and help him choose and make the right choices. Maybe that other world would be a better place because of _her._

“Tell Hester… I’m sorry… tell her… I’m proud of her… would you tell her that, for me?” He coughed again, but he saw her nodding.

“I will,” she said.

And then his hand reached for something in the pocket of his lab-coat. His fingers shakily took something and drew it out. A white, shining orb. A Materia. She recognized it immediately. _The Protomateria._

“I want… our daughter… to live,” Hojo handed her the Protomateria “…see that she does,” and then his head rolled back. His eyes drifted away. His smile faded.

Jocasta remained frozen for a moment and she just held him. And maybe _now_ she knew why she wasn’t mad at him. He just… _saw_ things differently. He just couldn’t discriminate the difference between _right_ and _wrong._ All he ever wanted was affection but he just didn’t know _how_ to ask for it. She knew emotions can be difficult to deal with. She too had shut herself completely away from them. She knew _now_ why she wasn’t angry even after all the pain that Hojo had inflicted on her. He was still the father of her child. He was still a weak old man _who was afraid._

“I will,” she mumbled and she knew that he could no longer hear her because he was _dead. Hopefully, for real, this time._ She settled the Protomateria in her bag. She left him down on the cold metal floor and she walked towards the dagger that she had dropped. She looked at that dagger. Another tear slipped down her cheek as she reminded herself what she had to do with it. She didn’t know if she’d be strong enough to do it to _herself._

She looked over at Hojo. Maybe he was lying, maybe he wasn’t. But she’d learned a whole lot about Omega and Chaos and she knew that these were _reborn_ because they were put into a host, so the only way to _return to the planet,_ was _kill_ the host. And she was a host. She was the host to the entity that was going to use her body and draw all of the Lifestream and rid the entire Planet of all life. Maybe that was why it was getting harder and harder to ignore Omega’s voices inside her head.

She fitted that same dagger up her sleeve and she noticed her fingers were trembling. Her hands were cold, and her cheeks were wet. How could she let Vincent know? How much was he going to _suffer?_

 _Living_ an eternity on his own? She looked back on the monitor and a sob reached her throat. Weiss had disappeared. Vincent was standing there with Sephiroth and Yuffie. And then they all jumped away from a green flash of light that came from the Reactor’s Mako Storage. And then she heard screams. The screams in her mind were louder than ever. _Omega._

Her hands found her head. Her fingers clawed into her scalp. She screamed. She crashed on her knees and buried her face in her hands. Her eyes shut. So many screams. So much _pain._


	93. The Final Showdown Pt. 5: Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Hurricane' by Tommee Profitt and Fleurie

She had made it out and she had no idea how she had done it, but she had made it out of Deepground. She just knew from the smell in the air. Gun-powder and boiling blood. She was out in the battlefield. Or at least what was left of it. _Bodies_. So many of them laid all around. Guns, and debris from airplanes, and ruins. Blood. Burning flesh. Smoke. Fire.

She just knew her head was buzzing and she couldn’t hear anything for a minute or two She knew there was a chaos of people fighting, and firing and trying to shut down the Reactors. There was that smoke in the air. Smoke from explosions. Piles of bodies lying on top of each other. It was night. Dark. Darkness everywhere. The moon was full. It brought all the light needed to see around the valley that had become a tomb.

 _“Jocasta…”_ She heard somebody calling her name, and she wasn’t sure whether it came from the voices inside her head or whether it was actually somebody calling her name. “…Jocasta,” then it came louder and that’s where she noticed those golden eyes staring down at her.

She recognized those eyes. She recognized that pale skin. Those cracks on the face of a demonic creature. _No._ That was Vincent in the form of Chaos, but he seemed to be controlling it better than he did while they were in Deepground. He was holding her. She could see the worry in those eyes. Those golden eyes. He was kneeling on the soil, resting her body on his lap. His wings stood on the sides, crimson and sharp.

He had saved her. He was the one who had drawn her out of that _cursed_ place. It was him indeed. Her trembling hand found his cheek and he let out a sigh of relief, leaning against it. He had heard her screams. Her screams were the ones that helped him find her and take her out of the place before it exploded. Sephiroth and Yuffie had run out just in time, but he had to stay back to find her. To save her.

Jocasta winced as she shifted her body to look behind. Omega had awoken. It was standing tall over Midgar, ready to start and fulfill its purpose, and Chaos had been drawn out to serve as a counterbalance. But when she looked at the massive creature, that’s when she remembered. She remembered it all.

Vincent’s clawed hand reached for her head, pulling her attention away from Omega, and pressing her face against his chest “I’ll take care of that,” his deep voice reached her ears, soothing. But it made her shut her eyes and struggle to keep the sobs back.

He _couldn’t_ take care of that, because even if he did, there would be no difference. Omega would still be alive. _Inside of her._ And the only way to stop it would be…

Her hand reached for her bag. She drew out the Protomateria and planted it back in that hole that still lingered on his chest. Chaos growled. It moved away from her, letting her kneel back on the soil while she watched him toss and turn before Vincent returned back to himself. He transformed back to himself and he grunted. His fingers clenched painfully around fistfuls of soil.

He noticed her approaching him, crawling towards him, and kneeling beside him. She pulled him into a hug and she let him breathe hard against her shoulder. She felt his hands clenching around her shirt as she buried her face in his shoulder, and for a moment, there were no battle cries, no bombs, no people crashing against each other. There was no war. No Omega, no Chaos, no Hojo. There was nothing but each other. Vincent closed his eyes and breathed her in until he felt her body shaking in his hands. He recognized the sound of her muffled crying and he pulled back. _Why_ was she crying? He needed to know. He needed to know what was wrong.

He pulled back, and his right hand found her cheek. He wiped a rolling tear while she leaned against his hand and wept. It made his heart ache. It made his whole body ache, watching her like this.

“What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly. He would do anything to fix it, whatever it was. He just wanted her to stop crying.

Her hand reached for the dagger that she had fitted beneath her sleeve. She drew it out with shaky fingers. She held it by the blade, offering the stem by his side so that he could take it.

“Kill me,”

This felt like a stabbing dagger in his heart and he didn’t know why she said that. _Why? What?_ What did she mean? What did she mean by that? Kill her? How could she ask that of him? Was she not happy? _No,_ something else was wrong. She wouldn’t be asking him of this without a reason. He looked at that dagger. He refused to take it. His hands instead slipped around her and he looked down at her confused, worried, _terrified._ How _dare she_ ask this of him?! He could do _anything_ that she’d ask him to, but he could never bring himself to _harm_ her. To _kill_ her.

He hadn’t realized he was just staring at her frozen until she spoke “Even if you stop that part of Omega’s…” she pointed her finger at the massive creature “…there’s another part of it inside of me…” she pointed at herself. She wept. Her fingers clenched around the blade of her dagger, so much that she cut her flesh and made it bleed. _Sweet pain._ It didn’t hurt as much as her heart did. It didn’t hurt as much as that tightness beneath her chest “…and the only way to stop is-”

“No. I don’t wanna hear it,” Vincent cut her.

He gritted his teeth so hard, his jaw ached. He shut his eyes. _No._ This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be losing her. He couldn’t be the one who had to do it. _No._ He wouldn’t let anybody do it. He _couldn’t. No._ He loved her. He loved her with every fiber of his being. How was he supposed to _live_ without her? How was he supposed to live without her touch, her kisses, her compassion, her affection, her _sympathy_? _How?!_

Why did this have to happen?! _Why?!_ Why did he have to keep losing the people that he cared about? He had lost her so many times. So many times. He had suffered so much. Why couldn’t he just _live happily with her?!_ It was all he ever wanted. A _happy, normal_ life. It was all he ever wanted. Why did he have to suffer like that? Why did it all have to hurt so _damn much?!_

He looked down at the dagger that she was still offering to him. He shook his head “I can’t do it,” it came out with a sob. He shook his head and he looked away from her. His vision got blurry. “I’m sorry, Jocasta, I can’t,”

“Hey…” her hand reached for his face and she drew his attention back at her. A tear rolled down his cheek and it hurt _so damn much_ to watch him _cry._ “…think…” a few tears streamed down her cheek “…think about… Cid and Shera… their baby is never going to be born if you don’t do this… t-think of Marlene. She’s never going to grow up… o- or Sephiroth and Hester… our children… t- they just found each other… I can’t let the world end with them, Vincent-”

“And what about us?!” He snapped. His fingers clenched so hard around her clothes, his hands almost shook her whole body. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked down at her “What about us, Jocasta? Why do I have to lose you too? We said we’d live together… We said we’d get married… What about that house that we want to have somewhere… ‘far from people’?” he repeated her words chuckling bitterly.

A chuckle came out, choked between her sobs “You heard that?”

His hand found her cheek. “Of course, I did,” His touch, tender, but shaky. Trembling, cold fingers. Shiny eyes, crimson flickering in the darkness of the night. He shook his head “Why do I have to lose you, Jocasta? Tell me why?!” his fingers clenched around her.

She cupped his face urging them both to press their foreheads against each other. She leaned it and kissed away his tears and he shuddered. No one would ever touch him like that if lost her. No one would ever _love_ him like that if he lost her. _No one._ He could love _no one_ as much as he loved her.

“Some people… are just never meant to be happy,” She wept.

Her hands slipped down to his shoulders, clutching on his cloak before she buried her face in his neck, and sobbed there. Her tears wetted his collar and she felt the weight of his cheek on top of her head. She heard his sobs in her ears. She was right. _Some people are just never meant to be happy._ Maybe she was right. Maybe he’d have to live an eternity with this. Maybe _suffering_ was all that was meant for him and he should just _suck it up_ and _accept it_ and… He buried his face in her shoulder and he wept against it, and shut his eyes, and tried to revel in this moment with _her_ because he knew it was going to be their last.

 _His last moment with her._ He couldn’t remember himself feeling such pain before. Jocasta breathed him in, shakily, before she looked at the massive creature. It had taken out its wings. It was about to depart and end the world. _Time._ They had no time. No time at all. She wanted so much to do with him. She wanted so much to do in this life. So much that she never had the chance to do before. _With him._ But _no,_ she had no time. _No time at all._

Her hand reached for his. Her fingers found his wrist, and she guided his hand towards the stem of her dagger. She already felt the blade piercing her belly. His hand was trembling, as he pulled back and looked down at her, _terrified._ Sad and _frightened._ Her hand reached for his face and she could tell he was trying to savour her touch for as long as he could. She wiped his tears and he looked down at her. His right hand found her cheek, wiping her own tears, while the other grasped the stem of the dagger, with her own fingers laced around it. He pressed their foreheads together and breathed shakily against her lips.

“I love you, Jocasta… I love you so much,” He said it, _for the last time._

A few more tears slipped down her cheeks “I love you too, Vincent… I love you…”

And then he crashed their lips together and they both sighed in the kiss, and his fingers tightened around hers on the stem of the dagger. His fingers slipped down her neck, keeping her head steady as he met her tongue with his, and he tasted her one last time. One last kiss. Her thumb stroked his cheek as she tasted his tears on his lips, and his taste and they both tried so hard to drag it for as long as they could.

Her fingers tightened around his on the dagger and urged him to move. And he did. He did move _regrettably,_ stabbing that dagger in her stomach. Deep enough for the blade to reach the other side, and tear her organs. She gasped and pulled from the kiss and looked up at him. And even though the pain spread and her blood trickled out colouring his glove, she smiled up at him. Her hand slipped away from his face. An expression of pain caught her face as she winced and started falling back, but his hands were tight around her and he kept her close. He kept her body against him.

But her head rolled back and her blood stopped rushing in her veins, and he looked at her. His hands shook and his tears _now_ were unstoppable. They rolled down his cheeks, spilling on her neck, as his hands clenched around the shirt on her back and he buried his face in her neck. Cold and pale, and he wept against it. He drew in whatever was left of her scent.

Why did it have to be so _unfair?!_ Why couldn’t he live his own _happily ever after?_ Why did he have to keep losing her?! All this pain. _The pain._ The _helplessness._ The _hopelessness._ It all hurt so _damn much_ and _now_ he was holding her _cold, dead body_ and he was the one who had _stabbed_ her. He had chosen the world over her. He had chosen the chance to watch Marlene grow. To watch Cid’s and Shera’s baby being born. To watch Hester and Sephiroth live their _happily ever after._ To watch Tifa and Cloud and Barret, and Nanaki’s shining future.

He had chosen all of these over her. He had killed her. She had traded one life for the _many._ But _why did it have to be her?!_ That one woman that he ever loved _so, so much._ She was dead _now_ and there was no coming back this time.

He heard Reeve calling for him in the intercom. Omega was ascending, and for a moment, all he thought about was _letting it_ destroy the world. He would die too if that happened, and it sounded like _the sweetest ending he could get._ He wasn’t _worthy of happiness._ That much was clear.

But _no,_ if he stood idle, and did nothing, then her sacrifice would’ve been for nothing. He’d be _damned_ if he’d let it be for nothing.

He looked down at her for one last time. He was going to battle Omega and he didn’t care if he’d get himself killed in the process. _He didn’t care._ He _wanted_ to die. He _wanted to join her._ How was he supposed to live an eternity without her?

He placed her gently on the soil, and he turned and looked at the massive creature that had started flying upwards. He had to go.

He had a story to end. 


	94. Hope For the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtracks for this Chapter:   
> -'Hope For the Future' by Masashi Hamauzu (From Dirge of Cerberus OST DISC2)  
> -'Cloud Smiles' by Nobuo Uematsu (From Advent Children OST)

How things _might’ve_ been. That’s all he thought about. He hadn’t realized he had been staring at the night clear sky. He hadn’t realized he was lying down on the soil. He just knew his limbs ached. His entire body ached and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t even flinch. He didn’t know how many hours he laid there. In the middle of nowhere beneath the dark sky. The breeze was cold. It brushed his cheeks and he _felt it._ He felt the cold. He felt the pain radiating from his wounds.

He hadn’t died like he hoped. He hadn’t _died._ But he did not think about it. He just thought of how things _might’ve been with her._ He thought about how life would’ve been if they’d ever get to live it together.

He thought of the day they first met, back in the Shinra Manor. How she had blushed back then and stumbled on her words. And how later on they’d sit every day for lunch and they’d talk. Even back then when Lucrecia had broken his heart, Jocasta would make him _smile_. She would make her _crappy_ jokes. She would tease him calling him _Vince_ and he would act annoyed although he wasn’t.

He remembered the nights. He’d find her passed out by her desk, with an empty bottle of whiskey beside her. It made his heart ache even back then. And he’d pick her up and take her to bed, to rest properly. He could still feel the shifting of her body closer to his whenever he’d hold her. He remembered that night that he’d found her in that forest after _hunting._ He had picked her up and gathered her in his lap because he had missed her _so much._ He remembered the night they danced in Cid’s wedding. How she had buried her face in his neck. How tightly his fingers had clutched on that blue dress that she was wearing.

It all seemed so long ago. It all seemed so _perfect_ back then, but _now…_ A tear slipped down his cheek and landed on the cold, hard soil that he laid on. Vincent just stared blankly at the dark sky. Chaos had left. It had returned to the Planet, and so had Omega. Vincent didn’t know where he had landed after his encounter. He just knew he felt _pain everywhere._

But he wasn’t crying because of the pain. He was crying for _her._ He was crying because _now_ he had to _live without her_. At least, he wasn’t going to live an eternity _now._ But she was gone. She was _gone._ He remembered her salty cheeks, her shiny, silver eyes when they stared up at him for the last time. The moment when they both confessed their love for each other, before they had to do it. Her fingers were tight around his when they both pushed that dagger inside her stomach. And then he had to listen to her crying, and her whimpers. Then he had to look on that painful smile that she had forced on her lips, for him.

And then he had to watch her head rolling back as she let out her final breath. Another tear slipped down his cheek as he stared blankly at the sky. Another door was opening and _this time_ it led to a path of utter loneliness, and _pain._

_“Maybe some people… are just never meant to be happy,”_

He could even hear her voice in his head. Maybe she was right. He had to watch her go. He had to watch the woman that he loved, _die. For the second time._ How was he supposed to move on _now?_ How was he supposed to pick back the pieces of his broken self? How was he supposed to do that _alone?_

He didn’t know how many hours he laid there. Maybe he was hoping that some wild beast would find him and _eat him. Yeah._ That’d be _nice._ That’d be a _sweet end_ in that story. He closed his eyes, pushing a few more tears down his cheeks, and he thought of _her_.

He thought of how things _might’ve been._ Living with her. Waking up every day by her side. He just wanted to be _happy._ Why was this so much to ask?

Everybody was searching. Omega was defeated. Deepground was defeated. WRO was celebrating one huge victory, but the team was searching. Searching the battlefield, the debris, whatever was left beneath the Shinra building.

Sephiroth had gathered whatever squads remained, to help him find _them_. Reeve had taken a helicopter, searching from above. Vincent and Jocasta were missing and everybody was going insane on the thought of something bad happening to them. Cid had ordered whatever remained of his crew, to search. So many bodies. So many dead innocent people. _Casualties of war_. Debris of ships and bombers, and missiles, and rifles. Weapons. Blood coloured the soil. A deep crimson. _So many dead bodies_.

Cid puffed out his cigarette, finishing another one, and he threw it on the soil, stepping on it before he continued his search. Tifa, Cloud and Barret were searching around Midgar, while Yuffie with Sephiroth and the remaining WRO were scattered around the battlefield with his crew.

He used his spear to push a shield away from somebody’s dead body, hoping that either Vincent or Jocasta would be there somewhere. He looked at the dawn of the new day. The sunshine’s red colour merged with the deep blue of the sky. The sun would bring enough light to aid to their search.

Cid noticed a familiar body lying in the distance between the _dead._ He recognized the clothes. The hair, the boots, the daggers fitted everywhere. The Sais. The bow and arrows. His heart beat fast and he hurried towards her. _It was_ _Jocasta_. She was lying there. He reached her and knelt beside her immediately, letting down his spear. He took her in his lap. She looked pale. Paler than usual. She was lying in a puddle of blood that coloured her clothes. She had a cut on her cheek that had stopped bleeding. Her -once pink lips- were _now_ pale. Her eyes, closed.

Cid’s hand reached immediately for her neck, searching for a pulse, searching for something that indicated _life._ She had a dagger stabbed in her stomach. He felt the tip of it, that protruded from her back, piercing his thigh when he settled her body on his lap. Her body would never get the time to self-heal. She must’ve died from haemorrhage. _No._ He pressed a finger by her pulse, waiting for a heartbeat.

He shut his eyes “Fuck!” he waited again, but he got nothing “Fuck, kid…” he shook his head and shut his eyes. _No._ She couldn’t be dead. _She couldn’t be._ “…don’t leave us, kid…” he shook his head “…don’t fuckin’ leave us, goddammit!”

How was he supposed to tell the others? How was he supposed to tell Sephiroth? Hester? Her children. He cursed a couple more times, wiping the tears that had started rolling down his cheeks. He left her back down on the soil, and he sat back bending his one knee and propping one arm on top. His hand found his face, pressing beneath his nose as he tried to contain the sobs, and the tears. _She was gone._

“Cid?”

A voice came from behind and he turned and saw Yuffie. She gasped when she saw Jocasta and she hurried towards her, kneeling down, beside her, right away. Her hands clenched around the soil in fistfuls “Is she… is she-”

“Yes, kid…” Cid choked out “…she’s gone,” he hated so much to say it.

Yuffie threw a fist on the ground “Why?! No!” she cried out, tears streamed down her cheeks, a sob reached her throat “I don’t understand… Vincent went back for her…” she turned and looked at Cid, with tears streaming down her cheeks “…he went back for her! I don’t get it! He- …He-” Cid’s hand reached around her, letting her weep against his shoulder, wetting his blue shirt with her tears.

“Me neither, kid…” Cid sighed “…me neither,”

And then footsteps pounded hastily on the floor as they approached. Cid looked up and watched Sephiroth and the rest of the WRO soldiers, calling for a medic, and a helicopter to get her out of there and back into a hospital. But he knew there was no use. She was gone.

Sephiroth knelt beside her and picked her up, and checked on her pulse but he felt nothing. He shook his head “No, no, no, no, no… Mom, no don’t leave me…” Sephiroth’s hands clenched around her clothes as he brought her limp body close. He pressed his lips against her forehead and for a moment he had stopped breathing. He wasn’t trying to contain the tears that ran down his cheeks. “…I already lost you once, I can’t lose you again,” he whispered shakily.

It all felt so much like back then. When the Shinra soldiers were tearing them apart. Her fingers were so tight around his clothes, trying to keep him close, to protect him, but then the Shinra soldiers had grabbed his hands, pulling on his shirt, while he’d scream, and shout her name, letting her know that he was _scared._ A scared little boy who needed nothing but her warmth, but he had to watch as the soldiers had taken her away, even though she’d fight them off and shout his name, trying to let him know _that everything was going to be okay._ He couldn’t protect her back then, he was too little, too weak, and _now_ he felt that same weakness. He could save her from anything, but he couldn’t save her from _death._

“Please,” he whispered against her hair and his fingers tightened around hers.

But she wasn’t responding. He took her hand in his and she wasn’t moving. She wasn’t squeezing his fingers with hers like she usually did. She was gone.

 _She was gone._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

_A flowerbed. Whiteness. There was that smell of those yellow flowers. Aerith’s flowers. Jocasta looked down. So many of those flowers. She always liked the smell of them. Sweet and welcoming. Her heart ached though. By the looks of it, she could tell she was no longer alive._

_“Welcome,”_

_A familiar voice came from behind, and Jocasta turned around to see who it was. It was Aerith. It seemed like a century since the last time she’d seen her. Aerith gave her a smile. A bright smile. Jocasta nodded she opened her mouth to speak, but Aerith cut her._

_“So many people are waiting for you up there,” Aerith said vaguely, and Jocasta didn’t know what she meant by that. Aerith hummed as she walked around “Maybe it’s too early to keep you here,”_

_“What do you mean?” Jocasta asked confusedly “Am I not dead?”_

_Aerith shrugged “Stabbing you killed Omega. Not you,”_

_Jocasta let out a sigh of relief, “Does that mean I get to go back?” she asked, confused but hopeful._

_Aerith nodded “You still have a life to live, you know,” Aerith smiled “Pick it up from where you left it, Joe,”_

_“You too had a life to live,” Jocasta said sadly._

_Aerith’s smile faded into a melancholic one “It’s alright. I’m happy here…” she glanced over at the young SOLDIER. A black-haired, tall man who was waiting for her at the other side of the flowerbed. She turned back at Jocasta “…besides, I’ve got other plans now,” she sighed “I’m gonna… right the wrongs,”_

_And before Jocasta had the chance to ask about it, Aerith began walking away. She reached Zack, and he passed a hand around her after waving at Jocasta. Zack kissed Aerith’s hair, and she smiled up at him, before the two of them vanished in the whiteness of the distance._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

_“Please,”_

The first word she had heard. It sounded like Sephiroth’s voice. Maybe it was indeed Sephiroth’s voice, because she could feel arms around her, holding her tight. And then came the need to draw a deep breath. And she did. She sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs with enough oxygen to bring her body’s mechanisms back to life.

She felt a hand, holding hers. Her fingers squeezed around Sephiroth’s fingers. Sephiroth stopped crying. Everybody stopped crying and they hurried beside her. Jocasta opened her eyes and she heard sighs of relief, she heard laughs. She had died, _hadn’t she?_ She was gone, but she came back. _She came back_. She glanced around at the people who began talking, but she couldn’t hear them at first.

 _Was it over?_ Had it all ended? Hojo was gone, Deepground was gone, Omega was gone. She no longer had any voices inside her mind. She no longer had those screams that only Vincent’s presence could silence. And _now_ she could hear her friend’s voices _clearly_. She could finally hear her own thoughts. She felt the wound on her stomach healing. They had taken off that dagger, allowing her tissue to grow back together.

A sigh came from Reeve, his shoulders relaxed “Thank goodness,”

“Mom… mom,” Sephiroth’s voice reached her ears and she smiled up at him.

“Hey, Sephy,” Jocasta managed and he laughed and pulled her into a tight hug. Tighter than he’d ever hugged her before.

“Fuckin’ hell! Fuck you, Joe, you fuckin’ scared the livin’ shit outta me for fuck’s fuckin’ sakes!” Cid cried out kicking the soil and laughing. “Shit, woman! You made Barret fuckin’ cry!”

“I wasn’t cryin’! What do you mean?! Shut up, man!” Barret punched Cid’s shoulder, after wiping a tear “You were cryin’ too!”

“Hell naw! A Highwind never fuckin’ cries!” Cid exclaimed.

“Guys! Focus!” Tifa scolded them. Jocasta realized Tifa was tying a bandage around the wound on her stomach while her back was resting against Sephiroth’s chest. They were still in the battlefield, waiting for a helicopter. The next one who rushed to hug her, was Yuffie. The young ninja wiped her tears and rubbed her nose.

“I thought you were gone, dramaqueen,” she wept before she pulled back “You’ve died so many times already, this couldn’t have been the last,”

Everybody chuckled “Yuffie’s got a point,” Cloud said with a smile.

“Vincent…” Jocasta mumbled drawing everybody’s attention “…where’s Vincent?”

The team exchanged a few looks before Cloud answered “We’re looking for him,”

Jocasta let her head roll back on Sephiroth’s shoulder and she sighed. “We’ll find him, Joe,” Sephiroth said reassuringly “I have squads out looking,”

“We’ll go searching too,” Cloud said.

“Yeah. You can count on us,” Tifa gave her a smile.

“I bet he’s in that cave with that fuckin’ ex of his,” Cid scratched his head.

“Good idea. Let’s check there first,” Tifa suggested.

“Alright! All board on ma sweet truck. I’m drivin’!” Barret said and everybody nodded.

And then the familiar sound of a helicopter came as it landed nearby. Everybody turned and looked at the man who landed the helicopter and walked out. It could be no other than Reno. Rude was still inside on the co-pilot’s seat and Reno hurried towards the team.

“What the fuck are those assholes doin’ here?!” Barret almost started shooting and the rest of the team almost took out their weapons.

“You work for us, dipshit,” Reno threw back and before Barret could attack, Reeve threw a hand on his friend’s shoulder, stopping him.

“It’s alright, they’re here to help,” Reeve reassured them and the team let down their guard.

Reno knelt beside Jocasta and he gave her a cocky smile “Hey, doc. Glad ya survived,” he turned at Sephiroth “I’ll take it from here, General. You go gather your squads,”

Sephiroth gave one last look at Reeve, who nodded at him and he looked back at Reno “Very well,”

Reno’s hands slipped beneath her and picked her up bridal style, carrying her back to the helicopter. Jocasta let out a sigh and she closed her eyes, letting her head rest back on the Turk’s hand.

“Fucked up day?” Reno asked.

Jocasta chuckled “Yeah,”

“It’s alright. I got you now, doc,” Reno said reassuringly.

Jocasta shook her head “No, I need to go see him,” she said as he rested her on a seat in the helicopter.

Reno raised an eyebrow “You can’t be fuckin’ serious. You’re in no condition to be anywhere but a goddamn hospital,”

“I’ll be fine, just take me wherever I tell you,”

Reno rolled his eyes and he turned around settling on the pilot’s seat “When the fuck did we become a fuckin’ delivery service,” he mumbled to his partner.

“Hard to tell,” Rude agreed as he pressed the buttons on the control panel and they took off.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

When he finally gathered the strength to get up and stand, he had realized that Chaos had dropped him by that cave. That same cavern where his father had found Chaos so long ago. It made sense that it would bring him there, and leave his body, and begin its journey back to the centre of the Planet along with Omega.

His whole body ached. His muscles stung harshly with every single move that he made. He’d throw his hands around boulders and tree trunks trying to keep himself on his feet. He didn’t know why he wanted to get into that cave. He didn’t want to see her. He didn’t want to see Lucrecia ever again because it all narrowed down to her.

Hojo would have never gotten the idea of experimenting with Omega, and putting it inside of Jocasta if it wasn’t for Lucrecia and that _cursed_ Thesis. Jocasta’s death narrowed down to Lucrecia as well. His own suffering narrowed down to her. _Yes,_ Lucrecia had saved him, but she never thought of the _cost._ She never thought about _him._ How much he was going to suffer in the life that she had granted back to him. She never thought about his suffering, she had only thought about _herself_ and easing the weight of her conscience.

Vincent walked into the cavern. The Mako Crystals were bringing a green light, bright enough to be able to see. She was there, standing in the middle of the pond. He couldn’t believe there was a time when he’d spend entire days into that cave, while he could be spending that time with _Jocasta._ His heart ached. _She is gone. Suck it up._ He reminded himself. _Yeah,_ she was gone. And it hurt, and hurt, _and hurt_.

Vincent fell on his knees with a grunt. He had almost forgotten how it felt. _Kneeling down without her to comfort him._ He should get used to it _now._ This was going to be his life from _now_ on. _Without her._ His feet were too weak to hold him. He sat back and bent one knee, propping his arm on top, and the other settled behind. He looked up at Lucrecia and he sighed.

He hummed. Maybe he had figured out why he was there.

“I was so in love with you. For so long, you were my… _reason to live._ But then you snatched that away from me, along with my life, and then you brought me back. But you never thought about what kind of life you were giving me. Thirty years of being locked into a coffin without food or water. With a demon that _wouldn’t_ let me die no matter how much I tried to. And I blamed myself. For so long, I blamed myself because I couldn’t stop you that day. And I thought that I deserved all of this whilst I didn’t. You brought me back. I should probably thank you for that… but Jocasta was the one who gave me _a reason to live_ …” he inhaled shakily, and a tear slipped down his cheek “…and you took her from me too,”

He wasn’t blaming Hojo. He didn’t care the _least_ about Hojo’s intentions. Hojo just did what he’d always do. _Trying to get power._ That’s what Hojo always did. But _Lucrecia_ had brought him _back_ with a method that Hojo _used_ on Jocasta to test it. He couldn’t deny that part of the blame for Jocasta’s death was in Lucrecia’s hands.

And that’s when he gathered the strength to stand back to his feet. He gave this woman one last look and he noticed a tear slipping down her cheek. She had heard him. He knew she was alive under that Mako. He let his tear roll down his cheek and spill on his collar.

“I forgive you, though. Goodbye,”

The last words that she was going to be hearing from him. He turned and walked out of that _cursed_ cavern where his suffering began. He closed his eyes and sighed when he felt the sunshine, kissing his pale skin. He could finally feel its warmth. He could finally feel the warm breeze of the morning tracing his skin and penetrating his clothes. He heard the chirping of birds. The buzzing of the insects. The swift movement of the greenery and the trees as their leaves danced with the breeze.

And then he opened his eyes and looked at the edge of the cliff. His face brightened. A smile caught his lips. The widest smile he had in years. _No._ It couldn’t be true. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. Maybe his eyes were seeing things that weren’t there.

But then she turned around and gave him a smile. She was _alive._ She was _there._ He couldn’t believe it. Something was going to go wrong, and she was going to disappear. It would make more sense if that happened. So, he _waited._ He waited for something to go wrong, but nothing did. He hadn’t realized he’d stopped breathing, but he had.

His hands felt shaky, his feet, wobbly, but he walked towards her and she walked towards him and his heart was hammering against his chest. She was _alive?!_ It was _true?_ He had to see for himself. He had to touch her to make sure that it wasn’t some ghost from his imagination that was going to haunt him. He was so used to _ghosts_ haunting him. So, used to that.

But then her hand reached for his face and he felt her touch and his eyes closed. He let out a sigh and her thumb wiped that wet trace that his tears had left behind on his cheek. He let out a breath he’d been holding and his hands slipped around her.

“Vincent,”

She spelled out his name and he opened his eyes and looked down at her. He looked at her smile. At her hazel eyes, that had finally regained their natural colour. Her hair, no longer black. Pale brown just like they had been back then. And his eyes, no longer a flickering crimson. A crimson-brown _now,_ just like his father’s. Just like Sephiroth’s.

And she had that smile. _Her smile_. Her lips no longer pale, but pink. His lips. No longer as pale as they had been for so long. He could see the happiness in her eyes. He could see the happiness in her smile. On her cheeks, on her lips, the way her hands found his collar, and his own hands found her waist and slipped around it.

His hand found her cheek. His thumb stroked it tenderly and she leaned on his hand and closed her eyes, and supported it on her cheek with her own.

“Is this real?” He asked and she chuckled.

“As real as can be,” Her hand for his cheek, and guided his face down to hers.

Her lips found his and he shuddered. They both did. His lips closed around hers and his hands found her waist and pressed her body close till it was pressing wholly against his. They shut their eyes and met each other’s tongues and they sighed. They sighed because it was finally _over._ All that _pain, and suffering, and guilt, and regret, and fear._ It was all over. It was all behind them. It was all gone. _Now_ it was only each other. Just two people that completed each other on so many ways.

They pulled back from the kiss and she sighed against his lips. He pressed their foreheads together, finally convinced that this was real. Finally convinced that the _nightmare_ had ended. It had ended and she was _there._ She was _there,_ he was holding her and he was never going to let go. _Never again._

“How?” He asked, his eyes met hers.

“I came back to you,” she said before his hand found her hair and she buried her face in his neck and sighed there. “I always do,” She smiled and closed her eyes.

He pressed his cheek on top of her head, and filled his nostrils with her scent and sighed against her hair. He closed his eyes. He felt the gentle tug of her fingers on his collar. He felt her warm breaths brushing against the pale skin of his neck. He felt the happiness spreading beneath his chest. A warm, tingly feeling. He was happy. So happy, he didn’t remember himself being before.

“I love you, Jocasta,” His breath brushed against her ear, and she shut her eyes and squeezed him with her hands. His lips found her temple, pressing a kiss on it.

“I love you too, Vincent,”

She’d never get tired of hearing _him_ saying that, and he’d never get tired of hearing _her_ saying that. She pulled back and gave him a large smile. Her hand reached for his. She laced their fingers together.

“C’mon. Everyone’s waiting,”

And maybe _happily ever afters_ do exist. Maybe when it seems that all hope is lost… _it’s not lost,_ ‘cause if somebody deserves _happiness_ , they’ll get it. And maybe that’s what keeps people moving on. The thought of finding that _happiness_ someday.

 _Yeah._ That’s it. 


	95. The Nightmare is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...or... is it?

Everything was going to be fine. The team was taken back to Mideel’s Clinic where the Doctors took care of their wounds. No one had any serious injuries, and they should be exiting the Hospital in a few days’ time. Jocasta had bandages around her belly where her wound slowly healed itself, and Vincent had a bandage around his arm. He had a wide cut there, and since there was no _demon_ in his body anymore the wound would heal normally.

Reeve had sent a truck to pick up Hester and the bottles with the self-healing serum, and bring them to Mideel’s Clinic. The only reason they went there, was because it was closer than the WRO HQ and some WRO soldiers had urgent cases that needed to be taken care of.

Vincent had taken off the black leather shirt. He had picked up his sleeve of the other thinner black shirt that he wore beneath, and the bandages covered his forearm, tied around his hand. He had cuts and bruises that had been taken care of and so had Jocasta and the rest of the team. The two were put in the same room after a little bit of convincing that came from Cid to the nurses.

Jocasta had taken off all that leather too. She was given some much more comfortable pants and shirt, a light gray outfit, but comfortable, without applying any pressure on the wound on her belly. Her bruises and the cuts were taken care of as well, and _now_ she laid on her own Hospital bed. The team were given their rooms and the treatment, and _now_ they were all resting. They had earned. _More_ than earned it.

She explained Vincent that vision that she had with Aerith. She explained how she was able to _come back._ She was so grateful for it, she couldn’t even express how _content_ she was.

She felt Vincent’s weight pressing on her mattress as he sat beside her and she turned her head and smiled at him. He had taken off his bandana. He had taken off his gauntlet and his left arm was only left with that black glove, that still covered whatever he was hiding beneath. She noted to herself to ask him about it _some other time._

But for _now,_ his right, bandaged arm reached for hers and hers responded immediately. She let her fingers sink in his, and her eyes rest on his as he smiled down at her.

“How’re you feeling?” Vincent asked with a smile. He hadn’t stopped smiling ever since she’d come back.

“I’ve never been happier, Vince,” She said with a tiny giggle that made his heart flutter.

He chuckled at the nickname. His hand reached for her hair, pulling a pale-brown strand away from her forehead and she smiled. His hand landed on her cheek and she leaned against it. Her hand supported his on her cheek and she turned and pressed a kiss on his bandaged hand.

He was almost _swelling_ in happiness. Watching her being _happy,_ watching that magnificent smile on her lips, watching her cheeks, her eyes, staring up at him with all that _affection. Love._ He leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“I want to hold you,” His breath brushed against her forehead, as he pulled back to look at her, waiting for _permission._

“Hold me then, Mr. Valentine,” she giggled and he lied beside her right away.

He slipped beneath the bed sheets and lied beside her. She shifted her body closer to his with a tiny wince.

“Careful,” he said worriedly but she looked up and gave him a smile that wiped all worries away.

“I’m alright,” She pressed a kiss on his chest and she pressed her palms flat against it.

His hands slipped around her. She felt his fingers sneaking beneath her shirt, and touching the bandages that were tied around her torso. She shivered when his fingers found her skin on her back and he traced it. She closed her eyes, sighing as she pressed her cheek against his chest. She felt his cheek pressing against her hair. He pressed another kiss on top of her hair, and his hands brought her a little bit closer.

“I thought you were gone, Jocasta…” she felt him breathing shakily against her hair “…I thought I had lost you,”

Jocasta pulled her head back, to look up at him. Her hand slipped towards his face, she cupped his cheek and he sighed closing his eyes on her touch. “Hey, how many times have you lost me and I always come back, don’t I?” she smiled.

He smiled back at her and nodded “You do,”

“So, stop worrying,” her nose brushed against his. She felt his breath falling on her lips and she pressed a kiss on his chin “It’s over, Vincent. The _nightmare_ is over. We got our chance back. Our chance to _live_ the life that was taken from us,”

He nodded “I don’t want to waste any more time, Jocasta,” he smiled and his hand found hers. He brought it up and kissed her fingers “Will you marry me?”

Her heart hammered hard against her chest. She drew in a breath and opened her mouth to speak, but he was faster.

“I know it’s sudden, and I know it’s still so many things to take care of, and I’ll completely understand it if you want to take some time and further think about it but-”

Her hand found his mouth, muffling his lips from saying a word further. “Shut up, Vince, of course I wanna marry you!” she didn’t mean to let it come out so loud, but the excitement was _just_ too much to handle.

He let out a sigh of relief against her hand, and she pulled it away from his lips, revealing his beautiful smile. He leaned down and caught her lips between his and they both shuddered in the kiss. His lips lingered on hers for a second and just let each other feel the tender touch of their lips. His thumb found her cheek. He kept her head steady as he slowly pushed his tongue into her mouth and met hers. She hummed as she felt his hand slipping back down on her waist and pulling her shirt up to meet her skin with his fingers. He traced her scars and so did she.

Her own hands slipped beneath his shirt, and met his own scars and he shuddered, but he kept kissing her. He needed her taste on his tongue, and her hands all around him, tracing the scarred muscles or his torso, his chest, his back. So soft and tender. No one had touched him like that but _her_ and he shivered. He bit on her lip with a growl that he hadn’t realized it had come out. She giggled and it made him kiss her again and this time he was pressing her down on the mattress with his weight and his body was staring to hover over hers.

She never thought she’d have _this._ When Tedric died, all hopes of ever having _this. This._ A _happy ending._ A marriage. The chance to get to live a life with somebody that she loved and loved her. She thought she’d never get that, but she did. She had Vincent and she loved him everything she had. And he loved her with everything he had. And he too had lost all hope that he’d ever get _this._ A _happy ending._ A happy life with someone. But he had that _now._ She had given it to him and he couldn’t even calculate or put into words how much he _loved her._

He kissed her deeper this time, and she almost felt his tongue finding its way down her throat. She didn’t mind, though. She wanted all of him, and she didn’t care if he’d choke her. She felt his knee settling between her thighs. His hand slipped down to find her pants but a voice came from behind.

“Holy Mother of Leviathan!”

Vincent immediately moved away from Jocasta. He couldn’t tell how quickly he did that, but he found himself crashing on his bum on the floor. Jocasta gasped, and propped herself on her arm looking down at him.

“Are you okay, Vince?!” She asked worriedly looking down at him.

“I’m fine,” he forced a smile up at her, but threw a deadly look at Yuffie. _Slightly angry, though._

“Did he just propose?!” Yuffie cried out excitedly.

“Yuffie…” Jocasta sucked in a deep breath trying to calm her nerves “…how long have you been standing there?”

Yuffie snickered “Long enough!” she gasped excitedly “Gotta tell the others!” she jumped out of the room and started yelling “Hey, guys! JOCASTA AND VINCENT ARE GETTING MARRIED!”

Jocasta and Vincent exchanged a look. Vincent rubbed his forehead groaning, and Jocasta cringed at the group of people that she watched rushing towards the door of their room.

 _Oh, boy._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Hester arrived with the extra WRO medics, and the bottles filled with the self-healing serum of Jocasta’s, no longer after. She set off to hug her mother and catch up with her right away, while her assistants and Shalua helped the rest of the WRO soldiers recover. Jocasta had promised she’d tell her. She had to let her know.

Jocasta looked at her daughter as she checked on the machinery that was gathered her hospital bed. Vincent was talking with Cid in his room. It was just her and Hester _now._

She didn’t know how to say it. She just drew in a breath, and looked at her daughter “He said he’s proud of you,”

At that, Hester stopped doing whatever she did, and she stared blankly at the monitor. She let out a heavy sigh and turned and looked at her mother. “How did he-” she shook her head. She knew it was so stupid to still feel _something_ for the man who had _ruined_ hers and so many people’s lives. But he was still _her father._ He was still the one who had raised her. The one that she’d clutch onto whenever the storms would happen outside and she was little and scared of them. “How did he die? I- I searched the network, I didn’t find any traces of his data fragments, I don’t understand,”

“He said you made a body for him. Nanotechnology,” Jocasta shrugged.

Hester’s eyes widened “What!? But I told him…” a tear slipped down her cheek “…I had told him this would never work! I had told him not to try it because he… he would-” a sob formed a lump halfway her throat and Hester’s hands found her face. She turned around, resting her hands against the counter and shutting her eyes, pushing the tears down her cheeks.

“Wait… you had warned him about it?” Jocasta sat straight, ignoring the stinging pain in her stomach.

Hester sniffled “Yeah,”

Jocasta sighed heavily “Then he committed suicide,”

Hester sat beside her on the bed and buried her face in Jocasta’s neck. Her hands reached around her daughter, and caressed her hair, and felt her tears wetting her shirt and her skin. Jocasta couldn’t tell why Hojo would do that. Maybe he couldn’t leave with himself? She couldn’t tell it was that. That didn’t sound like Hojo. Something else was wrong. _Was he afraid of something?_

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The darkness of the night spread all over. Only the full moon brought light that entered through the ruins of the destroyed -once great City- Midgar. It still stood there after everything. A flash of light spread over a cave, deep beneath the ruins. The moonlight barely reached that cave, from a hole created by the debris of the buildings that once fell.

A man in red leather landed on his knees after being trapped in a _prison for so long._ He had been called _by a master to awaken._ He looked at the body of the man that he recognized. _Weiss._ He had fallen, after all.

He made his way through the pond till he reached the body of the man that he called _brother._ He knelt and picked him up. He looked up as he felt the moonlight, falling, silver on top of him. _Light._ He hadn’t seen the light in so long. He knew who to blame for this. _For his suffering._ The one scientist was _dead_ so it seemed. _The other, though…_

“It is not yet time for slumber. We still have much work to do, my brother,” He whipped out his wing “Professor…” he could barely remember the name, but he remembered the _face_ “…Ernchester. She who made me thus, shall suffer a similar fate,” 


	96. Happiness At Last

**Three Months Later**

She felt the morning breeze brushing gently over her shoulder. She felt a hand around her. Vincent’s palm pressed flat on her belly. He had pushed her shirt up, sneaking his hand beneath. His warm fingers spread over her lower abdomen, pressing her back against his bare chest. Their feet were tangled together and she felt his breath hitting on her shoulder.

The morning light penetrated her eyelashes. Jocasta slowly stirred and she looked at the opened window. The sunshine found itself in their room. The curtains were locked in a dance with the breeze. Jocasta felt warm lips pressing a kiss on her shoulder and she smiled. Vincent’s fingers tightened around her belly as she turned around supinely, facing him. Vincent stood up on his elbow as he looked down at her with a smile.

She hadn’t seen him smiling like that before. Or maybe she had. She just couldn’t get used to how beautifully it suited him. She wasn’t used to seeing those pale, soft lips quirking up, but she could tell she’d never get enough of that sight. He just smiled down at her. His crimson-brown eyes flickered with love, affection, gratitude. Gratitude that he had this. Grateful that he had _her_. Somebody who loved him that much.

His hair fell on his shoulders, almost touching her chest. Her hand reached for his face, pulling away the messy dark locks of his silky hair that he didn’t seem to want to cut. She didn’t want him to cut them either. She wanted nothing but to have her fingers tugging into them and dragging him down close to her.

Her thumb found his cheek. Her warm fingers cupped his face and he didn’t close his eyes this time. He was finally getting used to this. He was finally getting used to the soft touch of her fingers. The soft touch of somebody’s hand as it brushed on his face. She had touched him with that grace and that care and this love, everywhere. She was _his_. _His_ because she was the only one who could love him like that. The only one who was willing to accept this body. His body. Touch him, kiss him, accept him the way that he was.

And he knew that she understood him more than anyone else had. She knew the pain that he’d been through. She knew it first-hand. She knew the heartbreaks. She knew _him_. She had been there with him through the very beginning of this entire ordeal that was _now_ far behind them. He was too blind to see it at first, but now… _Now_ he was seeing _clearly_. He was looking down at her and he knew he was looking at his second chance. His _happiness_. The second chance for happiness.

“Vincent…?” He realized he had drifted off again. He turned his attention back at her and his right arm reached for her face pulling a strand of her hair out of the way.

“Yes?”

He felt her hand brushing over his left arm. He had stopped wearing the gauntlet ever since the _wars ended,_ but he kept wearing a black glove. It covered his hand till the forearm.

“What’s wrong with that arm?” She asked and she saw his smile fading when she asked that question.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Vincent answered vaguely. His right arm let go of her face and reached for her hand that was touching his left one. He caught her wrist gently and pushed her hand away. He lied back down beside her and he hid the left hand beneath his pillow as he rested his cheek on top.

Jocasta turned her body to the side so that she faced his. “Please, whatever it is, I can fix it. Just tell me,” she knew it was something too personal, because every time that she’d try to find out, he’d change the conversation and it would worry her even more.

But she still saw him hesitating. She didn’t want to push him into doing something he didn’t want to. Jocasta just shifted closer to him. Her hand reached for his bare chest. She felt the texture of his scars beneath her fingers and she buried her face in his neck. Both her palms _now_ rested flat on his bare chest and she pressed a kiss on it.

“It’s alright...” She pressed another kiss on his chest and her hand slipped up, on his shoulder “...you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,”

She felt his right hand sneaking beneath her shirt. His warm fingers spread on her back and she shivered as he brought her body closer to his. Her one foot was trapped between his, the other rested on top. She felt his fingers brushing over her scars. The ones that she had on her back.

“No…” He pressed a kiss in her hair “…you’re my wife. I ought to tell you,” he said. His hand reached her face, trapping her chin between his fingers and guiding her face up to look at him. Her eyes found his and then focused on his lips.

It was all that he needed to know that she wanted him to kiss her, and he did. He leaned in and trapped her lips between his, and he felt them both sighing in the kiss. His fingers spread down her neck, keeping her head steady. He parted her lips with his tongue, wetting them, before he pushed in, meeting his tongue with hers. She gave him a sweet swirl that had him groaning in her mouth. She hummed and her fingers reached for his hair as she penetrated his own lips with her tongue and invaded his mouth.

She felt him shuddering. She felt his fingers clutching on her shirt, tight enough to make her worry that he’d rip it off. He pulled her shirt down her shoulder, exposing her skin and tracing it with his fingers. His hand found her neck and reached for her face again, and he pulled back from the kiss, with her taste on his tongue. He tried to ease his breathing and she giggled breathlessly. He smiled for a moment. She looked so _happy_. He’d seen her thus before. _Last night, on their wedding._ He couldn’t believe he was the one, capable of bringing that happiness to somebody.

She looked so lost and mesmerized, as if she’d been caught in a dream and she just stared up at him with that look in her eyes. A _want._ He knew he had that look too. But he knew it was time he showed her. It was time that he stopped hiding because she had seen him in his most vulnerable moments, and _now_ he was _sure_ that she _wouldn’t run away._

Vincent pulled himself up in a sitting position. She sat beside him and he finally took that glove off. He revealed a hybrid of human and artificial limb. There were wires and cables attached to his forearm, leading to an artificial arm. It wasn’t electronic. It was _mechanical_ , that did fit the design of artificial limbs that Shinra used to have scientists research on back in their days. Of course, those researches required technology that didn’t exist back in the day, but Jocasta couldn’t say how Hojo had managed to do it. Hojo was brilliant _indeed_.

She couldn’t tell how in the world he made it work. Lucrecia had been researching on these since she was a Biotechnologist, but once she was promoted into a Class A scientist, she had let go of those researches. She was sure that Hojo must’ve used Lucrecia’s notes. But it looked like he had powered it with a materia amongst the wires and the cables. Vincent moved his fingers and the wires responded immediately. The gears rolled on top of each other. It looked like the inside of a clock. Jocasta couldn’t tell much. She knew she needed to have Hester have a look at it. But the cables that were attached in the rest of his arm, she could tell they were the reason the rest of its mechanisms responded to movement.

“He tore off my arm… and replaced it with this,” Vincent said and she could almost hear the sorrow and the shame in his voice. Jocasta’s hand reached out to touch it, but he moved it away and proceeded put back his glove on. “…I don’t want to touch you with this-”

“Vincent,” She cut him “We can fix this. Actually,” she gave him a smile “it’s remarkable it works. Back in our days, we did not have the technology for that. I don’t know how Hojo did it. It looks like a clock,” she said and her hand reached for his and this time he let her touch it even though he was _screaming_ to himself not to let her. But her fingers brushed against his arm.

“Can you feel me?” She asked.

He watched her fingers as they brushed over the wires and the gears that rolled. She caught his artificial fingers. She didn’t care if they were just mechanical and unreal. They were _his_. He shook his head.

“No…” He answered, but his fingers responded and closed around hers, gently. She chuckled.

“It’s alright,” She brought his arm up in her hands and she kissed it, and he couldn’t believe that she had done that. He couldn’t believe that anybody would ever do that to that _cursed_ limb. _A painful memory_ amongst the many that he had. He couldn’t believe that she had accepted that arm _like that_. That easily. How much did she love him? That was too much and he couldn’t even fathom how much he felt for that. _Completion. Gratitude. Love._

Emotions so beautiful and so fulfilling and so tense that he wasn’t sure he could handle them. Vincent looked away from her and tried his best not to let it all out. He tried his best not to _show_ her. But her hand found his face and brought him back at her and she leaned in and kissed that tear that rolled down his cheek.

“No…” Her hand found his hair and she pulled him closer to her. He buried his face in her neck and she felt him shuddering. His fingers clutched on her shirt and she buried her face in his shoulder “…no don’t cry… I love you, don’t cry,” she noticed her own tears streaming down her cheeks because she couldn’t understand _why_.

Why would he think of himself to be so horrible? Why would he think of himself being a _monster_? Why would he feel all this shame when nothing was his fault? She couldn’t see anything _faulty_ on him. She couldn’t see his flaws no matter how much he had tried to show them to her. She loved him, and it hurt so much to watch him cry. It hurt so much have him clutching that hard around her, afraid that she was going to _leave_. Afraid that she was going to get disgusted of him. _How dare he think of that?_

“Vincent…” She kissed his bare shoulder that she had wetted with her own tears “…Vincent, I love you, why…” She pulled back to cup his face. Both her hands found his cheeks, and her thumbs wiped his tears “…why would you think that I wouldn’t-”

“No one would ever…” He sighed “…I just don’t… I don’t understand how. How do you love me? How do you love this?” He looked down at himself “How can _anybody_ love this?”

Both her hands found his face and she dragged kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his chin, his lips. She giggled “Vincent, stop being like this,” she laughed as she pulled back and looked at him “After all those things that we’ve been through, we’re finally here, together, married, happy. How could you think that I wouldn’t _accept_ this?” She took his left arm in hers, and laced her fingers with his artificial ones “I love you, I accept _anything_ of yours,”

At that, he smiled. His hand reached for her face, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. His thumb found her cheek and he brought their foreheads together. “I love you, Mrs. Valentine,”

She hummed. It sounded _so good_ coming from him “I love you too, Mr. Valentine,”

And then he kissed her. He caught her lips between his and his hand kept her face close. He deepened the kiss and she felt herself lying down on her back. His body hovered on top of hers while he pushed his tongue down her throat and she gasped against his lips. His hands slipped down on her body. They snuck beneath her shirt and traced her scars with his fingers. He traced her skin and she shivered at the warmth that he unleashed.

Her hands found his hair. She buried her fingers into them, tugging on them while he kissed her and suckled on her lip till it was swollen and rosy. He let go of her lips and started dragging kisses down her chin, her cheekbone, her neck. He bit hard there, knocking a whimper out of her. His hand found her breast. He squeezed hard, trapping her nipple between his middle and index finger. Her chest rose and fell in a heavy rhythm. Her fingers were tight in his hair while he added another mark on her neck. He spotted the marks he’d given her last night. _And the night before. And the night before that too._

She was _his. His_ alone. He had to put his marks on her and she hadn’t stopped him. She never did. She made those sounds that drove him _insane._ His hand found her belly, then her lower abdomen, before he slipped it beneath her pants and panties. She was still dressed in her light tank top and those shorts. He slipped his hand out of her pants before he got to do anything to her, and she let out a sound of protest.

“Vincent-”

“Take off your clothes,” his voice came harsh and commanding. She shivered.

She locked her eyes on top of his as she took off her shirt. She wasn’t wearing anything else beneath. Her hands slipped her pants down. She arched up her body, touching his, as she slipped the shorts and her panties down her feet and kicked them away. She was fully naked beneath him _now_ and he took a moment to stare down at her. Her scars, her white skin, the bright, rosy blush on her cheeks. The breeze brushed against her skin, cold and soothing and she shivered, but his hands reached around her. He covered her bare, exposed body with his and he kissed her.

His lips were on hers again and his hands were _everywhere._ On her breasts, on her hips, on her thighs. Spreading shivers wherever they went. He found her thighs as he settled himself between her parted legs. His hand found her mound. That _sweet_ bundle of nerves beneath, slick and quivering. His fingers gave it a jerk that had her gasping against his lips and breaking the kiss to catch her breath.

His forehead pressed against hers when he slid two of his fingers inside of her. Her fingers clenched around the muscles of his broad shoulders as he slowly started massaging his fingers in and out of her wet, quivering hole. He buried his face back in her neck, and his tongue flicked out, licking, and suckling, and biting, and marking her skin till she was a gasping, writhing mess. He added a finger, and pushed in, stretching her. She sank her teeth on his shoulder, knocking a grunt out of him. Her fingers clenched in his hair. He licked another bite mark that he had just given her and his fingers worked into her in a furious pace that knocked her breath away.

She let out a shout, that would reverberate through the entire house, but there was no need to worry about it. There was nothing that could hear them but _greenery_ and the wild creatures of the forest that surrounded their little home. And he too didn’t care to muffle her. He wanted to listen to her _screams, her gasps, her whimpers._ He pulled back to look at her while he thrust his fingers in and out of her in a furious pace. She came with his name on her lips, coming out as a whisper, and he curled his fingers deep inside of her, making her body arch up and rub against his. He growled as he caught her lips. Her body trembled. Her legs tightened around his arm, but his fingers remained inside of her.

He didn’t let her pant and catch her breath. His tongue found her throat, and she gasped for breath, but he didn’t care. _She didn’t care either._ Not when his fingers started moving inside of her again. That’s when she pulled back, and caught her breath. Her fingers dug in his shoulders and she didn’t know if she wanted to push him away, or let him _finger-fuck_ her till she lost her senses.

“Vincent-”

“Come for me again, Jocasta,”

His voice came rough and commanding. His fingers tapped into her into a fast pace that made her eyes shut and her head roll back. Her short nails dug in his shoulders and he buried his face back in her neck, biting and licking. She let out another shout. His fingers dug deep into her quivering, helpless body and she came again. He brought her down her orgasm with rough thrusts that left her shaking, before he pulled his fingers out and dipped them in her mouth, muffling her panting.

Jocasta groaned against his fingers. She flicked her tongue all over them. She locked her eyes on top of his while she sucked on his fingers, tasting herself. She could tell for a moment he’d stopped breathing. He had that needy look in his eyes as he examined her face while she sucked on his fingers, and giggled against them. He pulled his hand away and pulled down his pants, kicking them away. His erection was hard touching her belly and she moaned. He caught her lip between his teeth and pressed his tip on her opening.

He pushed in, slowly, gently, letting her adjust. A low growl left his throat as he pressed his forehead against hers and she gasped. Her eyes shut, her breath hitched halfway her throat, and her nails dug deep in his shoulders as he filled her to the hilt and reached her far end. Her lips parted in a silent cry and he peppered kisses all over them. His hand found her waist. She shivered as the rough, cold, metallic mechanisms of his left hand came in contact with her bare skin.

He kissed that large scar that she had on her neck, and he felt her fingers clenching in his hair. He looked up at her. He kissed her quivering lower lip. His hand found her face. His lips -wet, and soft- found her cheek.

“Breathe, Jocasta,” he said softly as he dragged kisses down her cheekbone. She hadn’t realized she had stopped breathing until he told her to.

She let out a breath that she’d been holding, and she panted. Her hand found his cheek and he pressed his forehead against hers. Her nose brushed against his, and he locked their eyes together as he pulled out and gently back in. They both sighed on the friction and his lips gently pressed against hers, and just _lingered there._ His lips were soft. His hand explored her body until it reached her belly. His fingers gently brushed against her scars, her waist, her thigh. She could tell he was being slow and tender, letting them both enjoy this.

He pulled back, and gently back in. Her slick, quivering walls pulled him a little deeper and knocking a gasp out of her against his lips. He pulled back from the kiss and buried his face in her neck. He pulled back and thrust back in. This time harder, making her whimper as she buried her fingers in his hair and her head rolled back against the pillow. She felt his teeth sinking in the sensitive skin of her neck as he started taking her a little bit faster, and a little bit harder as the need urged him on.

His hands planted around her on the bed and his thrusts got faster. She let out a shout and he wanted to make her do that again. He braced himself to thrust harder, hitting her far end, till both their bodies were shaking in the rhythm that he’d set with his hips as they crushed against hers. She came hard around him with another shout. Her walls clenched around him hard enough to bring him to his own orgasm. He groaned as he came deep inside of her, filling her with his warmth, before he pulled his face from her neck and looked down at her trembling body. Her parted legs that were tight around him, her half-lidded eyes, her parted lips, her hand that was clenching around fistfuls of their bedsheets.

His hand reached for hers, lacing their fingers together. He was still inside of her and he didn’t seem to want to pull out. He caught her lips again and they both sighed in the kiss. His tongue lapped against hers, gathering her taste. Her fingers traced over his sweaty back, touching his scars and making him shiver. He was getting used to that. _Her touch._ The only touch that never _hurt_ him.

His hands slipped around her and flipped her on top of him. He lied back down on his back, with her whole body pressing on top of his and he pulled the bedsheets up, covering them both. She buried her face in his neck, and he felt her breaths brushing warm against his pale skin. His hands tightened around her protectively, pressing their chests together. Her palms rested flat on his chest, drawing circles over the numerous scars that he had there. She pressed kisses on them and she hummed when she felt his hand pushing the sheets further up their bodies, to shield her exposed shoulder from the chilly, morning breeze.

His fingers tangled in her hair, caressing them softly as she pressed her cheek on his chest and sighed contently. He pressed a kiss in her hair and she giggled, lifting her head up. She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him.

“Remember the time when you saved be from that cockroach?”

He laughed. _Of course_ , he remembered. How could he ever forget? “You were so scared,” he said, with a wide smile on his lips as he recalled the memory of a _frightened_ Jocasta, climbing on her chair and screaming at an insect. It was much more _entertaining_ than he thought it to be back then.

“I still am!” She said defensibly and he raised an eyebrow.

“You survived Deepground, but you’re still scared of cockroaches?” He asked incredulous.

“Deepground’s got nothing on cockroaches, I tell you,”

“Azul was a massive beast,”

“Yeah, but cockroaches, are small, and fast, and sneaky, and they fly!” He could tell she was freaking out as she further thought about them and he laughed the more she talked. She smacked a hand on his chest and she frowned. “Don’t laugh at me, Vincent! They fly!”

“So did I,” Vincent said.

“No- Well, _yeah,_ but that was different. That was… _that_ was _hot,_ ” she giggled.

He looked at her surprised “Chaos… was _hot?”_

“Well…” she was sure she was blushing _so hard_ “…well yeah!”

“It was a demonic creature that fed on my insanity,”

She laughed _so dramatic_ “So was Omega,” she poked a finger on his chest “Look who’s talking! I sliced Rosso’s throat and you couldn’t keep yourself from staring,” she teased.

Vincent cleared his throat and tried to look away from her “I was just… surprised from your new TSVIET moves,”

She shifted closer to him so that her nose brushed against his. She chuckled doubtfully “ _Convenient_ , Mr. Valentine,”

He hummed “I was certainly better at lying, back then,”

“I always sucked at lying,”

“Indeed,”

“Hey!”

And then he laughed again and although she tried to act _annoyed,_ she was failing _miserably._ She just couldn’t help but smile back when he _laughed. Vincent Valentine laughed._ He was so _happy_ it made her heart swelling with _happiness_. She buried her face back in his neck, and her hands around his shoulders squeezed him tightly against her.

“Ugh! I love you so much, Vincent Valentine,”

He chuckled and he pressed a kiss on her temple “I love you too, Jocasta Valentine,” he hummed “You’re sure you want to change your name? You really don’t have to. ‘Ernchester’ is such a lovely surname, and there’s really no pressure. Things aren’t as they were back then-”

Her hand reached for his face, cupping it as she pulled her head back up and looked at him “No, I _want_ to change my name. I was the one who asked of it in the first place,” He smiled up at her and then she leaned and pressed a kiss on his lips, before pulling back again. Her eyes caught his “I’m yours, Vincent Valentine,” she whispered. He lifted his head up to kiss her, but Jocasta pulled back before he had the chance to do that. He tried to catch her lips again, but she pulled back with a giggle and mischievous smile on her face. She was teasing him. She hadn’t done that before, and he hadn’t realized he _hated it that much._ It _frustrated_ him.

Jocasta laughed, before she ran her tongue over his chest, knocking a low growl out of him. His hand reached for her hair, but she slipped further down with a mischievous smile on her lips. _Oh boy._ He had a feeling he knew what she was up to. He was going to stop her, but he never got to it when he felt her lips closing around his tip. He tensed up. A groan reached his throat. His hand reached for his hair, pushing the messy black strands of them out of the way. He gritted his teeth trying to keep the sounds back as her tongue lapped all around him, before she pulled him all the way into her warm, wet mouth.

She felt his hand reaching for her hair, clenching in fistfuls of them, and pulling them out of the way. She listened to the gasps and the groans, and the growls that she’d been knocking out of him with every delicious movement of her tongue on his hard skin. Her fingers reached for his thighs. She felt his muscles clenching from whatever she did to him. Her hand stroked his wetted shaft as she licked her way to his thigh. She planted a bitemark there, knocking that low _growl_ out of him that she’d never her tired listening at. She licked the bitemark, before she set off to trap his tip between her lips, tasting him.

“Enough,” his voice came hoarse and deep.

His fingers clenched in her hair urging her to crawl back up to him. He caught her lips in a wild kiss. He groaned in her mouth, and she gasped as he bit on her lip, harsh enough to leave it swollen. Her hand kept stroking his erection and she could tell it was driving him _insane._ His hand reached for hers, tearing it away from his hard member and trapping it behind her back. She tried to fight him off. She wanted to touch him, but his hold was tight, and strong.

He pulled back and his eyes met hers. A flickering crimson that she drowned in. He looked up at her for a moment as if he was trying to think of _what_ to do to her. He dragged kisses, from her cheek, all the way to her ear. He trapped her earlobe between his wet, hot lips.

“On your knees,”

She shivered. His breath brushed hot against her wet earlobe. A command that she was more than willing to comply with. She slipped away from him and did exactly as she was asked. She felt him shifting behind her, pressing his tip against her opening. He slipped in easily, and she let out a moan. He reached all the way in. His hand slipped beneath her, grabbing hold of her belly and pulling her closer. He leaned in and his tongue found her back. He traced it wetly against her skin, making her shiver. Her hole sheathed him and he failed to muffle back a groan that reached his throat.

His hand brushed her hair, letting them hung from her one shoulder. He left a bite on her nape, and pulled out thrusting back in with force. A cry hung from her lips. Her eyes shut. Her fingers fisted into fistfuls of bedsheets. His knee pushed her legs a little bit further apart, and she had to brace herself on her hands, trying not to fall.

He pulled out and thrust back in, harder this time, knocking another shout out of her. Then her breath hitched halfway her throat when he set a fast pace. Her lips parted in a silent cry. Her head rolled back. She felt his hole body pressing against hers. His fingers dug on her hips as he took her hard and fast, crushing against her body in a pace that she knew it’d leave her bruised. But she couldn’t care less about that. He stretched her, and filled her all the way in, with every thrust, and she could do nothing but _scream._

She came hard around him, with his name on her lips, and her back crushing against his chest. He had pulled on her hair. Her head rolled back on his shoulder as his hand reached for her neck, and the other grabbed hold around her trembling body. He let her come down her orgasm with a few more harsh thrusts, before her legs gave in and she crashed back down on the mattress face down, on her belly. His left hand was still around her, trapped between her bare body and the mattress. He was on top of her.

His chest pressed against her back as he stilled deep inside of her. His right hand reached for her hair. He gathered a fistful of them, pulling her head up and catching her lips. She groaned in the kiss. Her body writhed. She tried her best to prop herself on her weak arms, but her legs had given in. Her tongue found his and he growled at the convulsions of her hole around his hard length.

When he pulled from the kiss she tried to pant and catch her breath “Vincent-”

“I’m not done with you,” He pulled back and then thrust back in, knocking a hoarse cry out of her. She heard his groan as he bit on the back of her shoulder. His tongue found her earlobe again, and she shivered at his words “Who do you belong to, Jocasta?”

“You,” It came out almost automatically. And then he pulled back, and thrust back in with force and she cried out. His hand let go of her hair, and she panted hard against the pillows. A drop of sweat slipped down her forehead as he took her again and again.

“Say it again,” he commanded and he started thrusting into her. Hard and fast, making her cry out and shut her eyes. Her body tensed. Her fingers clenched around the bedsheets as he pushed deep.

“ _I’m yours_ ,” she barely managed to let out between the pans and whimpers.

He thrust into her, and he knew she was close to come again. He could hear it in her screams. In the way that she panted, and whimpered, and called out his name. Her body trembled, her hole clenched around him as she came. She came hard with a shout, and a gush of her wetness, coating his hard flesh. He slipped deep, coming into her. She felt his warmth filling her to the hilt and she let her forehead press against the pillows while they both took their moment to catch their breath.

His lips found her nape, tenderly laying a kiss on the bitemarks that he’d laid there. She moaned as she felt the weight of his body, pressing her against the bed, and his soft lips laying kisses on her shoulder.

“That’s what you get when you try to tease me,” He said in her ear and she giggled.

“Then I’ll make sure to do that more often,” 


	97. Married Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff before some shit goes down!

**A Few Weeks Later**

Things had blended back to _normality._ It was funny to think about it. Jocasta hadn’t been into a _normal_ kitchen, into a _normal_ house -that she shared with somebody- and she hadn’t cooked a _normal_ meal ever since she was still a scientist. Even back then she barely ever cooked, since Lucrecia was the only one with enough _time_ to do that. But when she left, cooking had become a daily basis for Jocasta, since even back then, _she had a Turk to feed._

And _now_ things were almost as back then, but _so much better. Now_ they were married and _married life_ suited them. Vincent was working in the WRO, teaching new recruits with Sephiroth. It was a good idea taking that position, considering that it would give those two all the time that they needed to _bond._ The WRO had bought Shinra that made sure to let everybody know that it had _bankrupted_ even though _nobody_ believed that.

Jocasta couldn’t believe that a company like _Shinra_ was ever possible to get _bankrupted._ There was no longer a Shinra company, though, and both the Turks and the former President were working under Reeve’s command and the entire team could feel nothing but _relief_ about that. That _cursed_ company was _gone_ and _thank goodness_ Reeve was there to guide what was left of it to a _brighter_ future. He had offered her to become head of the WRO’s R&D. Shalua and Hester were already working there and Jocasta just let him know that she’d _think about it._

She was still afraid to become a Class A Scientist of another big company, even though she knew that Reeve would never repeat the mistakes of Shinra’s. She sighed. Maybe she needed time to figure that out.

But for _now,_ she was wearing the kitchen glove while taking out of the oven the chicken with vegetables that she’d put in for the last couple of minutes. She pinched the white meat with a fork. It looked ready and so did the rest of the vegetables that she had scattered around it.

Vincent didn’t really seem to have any preferences in food. He ate whatever she made every day and he seemed content with it, whatever it was. _Honestly,_ he was just happy to be _there._ He was just _happy_ to have a beautiful, clean house that rested between the forests of the Eastern Continent, close to his job, far from people. He was _happy_ to return back to it every day, with his lovely _wife_ waiting for him, with always something _delicious_ for lunch.

He never thought he’d have _that_. Especially when Hester fixed an arm for him, far more advanced, and covered the electrical mechanisms with synthetic skin. He couldn’t feel touch, or pressure, or heat, but _now_ it looked _real,_ at least. He could let it exposed and not think about wearing a glove, or a gauntlet should he need to protect it from something.

Every day was getting better and _better_. He finally had the life that he never thought he’d have. A _normal, happy_ life with _somebody._ With the woman that he dearly loved and he made sure to let her know _every single day._

Jocasta smiled when she heard the familiar sound of Vincent unlocking the door and walking in. He set his bag and his coat by the nearby coat stand, and his nostrils caught immediately the delicious smell of chicken in the oven. His footsteps approached the kitchen. A smile caught his lips as he saw her serving the chicken on two plates. He crossed his legs and rested some of his weight by the entrance of the room as he watched her. She noticed him being there and she turned and gave him a smile.

“Vince! How was your day?” She asked before she turned her attention back on cutting the chicken.

He approached her. His hands slithered around her waist. She felt her back pressing against his chest, and his lips giving her exposed shoulder a kiss that made her smile and bite her lip.

“It just got better,”

She rested the knife back down on a plate and she turned and caught his lips in hers. He sighed in the kiss and his hands tightened around her waist, pressing her body against him. Her hand found his face, cupping his cheek tenderly as he gave her tongue a gentle swirl that had her humming. They pulled back, smiling at each other. His forehead pressed against hers. Her palms rested flat on his chest, on top of his white shirt. Her fingers reached for his black tie, unbuckling it skillfully.

“I missed you,” he said and she chuckled.

“You’ve only been gone for seven hours,” her hands found his face as she smiled up at him.

“It’s still long,” He pressed a kiss on her nose making her giggle.

“Go get changed, Valentine. The table’s gonna be ready soon,” Jocasta gave him a smile before she turned around to continue serving the chicken, but something about the way she moved, made her dizzy.

She hadn’t realized her legs had refused to hold her, until her hands reached for the counter instinctively, trying to keep herself standing. Her hand reached for her head, which buzzed loudly and she didn’t know _why_. She felt hands wrapping around her immediately, keeping her from falling. Her back crashed against Vincent’s chest as he held her. His eyes widened alarmingly. His heart beat fast against his chest in worry.

“Are you okay? Jocasta, what’s wrong?!” He asked worriedly. She turned around facing him on her wobbly legs. Her hands reached for his shoulders for support. His arms were tight around her, to catch her should she fall.

“I- It’s nothing. I just got… dizzy… for some reason…” Her hand remained on her temple. Her eyelids felt heavy. Too heavy to keep them opened. She sighed. _What’s wrong with me?_ He pressed his lips against her forehead, searching for temperature but _no,_ she felt normal. He felt _so worried_. His hands tightened around her.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he said and he started guiding her out of the kitchen.

But once they were on the hall, her hands tightened around his shirt, before she let go of him and hurried towards the bathroom. He followed her hurriedly. She had knelt in front of the toilet, vomiting. Her fingers clutched on the white marble. He knelt beside her and held her hair back for her until she finished. She sat back and he gave her a piece of paper to clean up her mouth.

She frowned “What’s wrong with me?” she let her head roll back on the wall and she groaned wearily.

He knelt beside her, his hand found her cheek “We’ll have this checked out,” he gave her a reassuring smile “But for now, you need rest,”

He slipped his hands beneath her, picking her up. She smiled at him as she let her head rest back on his hand, while he carried her to bed. He took off her shoes and lied her down, placing her gently on the soft bed. He kicked off his own shoes and lied beside her. He passed a hand around her, letting her press her cheek on his chest and rest there, while he pushed the bed sheets on top of their bodies.

“No, Vince, you must be starving,” She frowned as she looked up at him wearily.

He pressed a kiss on her forehead “I’ll eat later…” his hand reached for her head, pushing it gently back down on his chest “…you sleep first,” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

She had no idea how many hours she had slept. She just knew that when she woke up, she was hungry _._ She must’ve slept quite clumsily because the bed was a mess when she opened the lights and woke up. She fixed the bedsheets neatly and brushed her messy hair.

Vincent must’ve been having a shower. She could hear the water running and crashing on the marble of their shower. She walked towards the kitchen and searching for food. There was plenty of chicken left. She knew she shouldn’t be eating after _puking_ like that, but she had never felt such _hunger_ in such a _long time._ When Vincent finally finished, he walked out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist. His damp hair fell on his back and a few of those messy dark locks fell messily on his face.

He went back to their room to pick clothes from their closet, but he didn’t see her there. Instead, he found her on the kitchen table eating their lunch from the griddle.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be eating. You’re stomach’s already irritated enough,” Vincent suggested as he crossed his hands against his bare chest and looked down at her. He had to admit that watching her eating like a _pig_ was _kind of cute._ A smile flashed across his lips.

“I know, but I’m hungry,” Jocasta protested with her mouth full. But then she looked up at his bare chest and damp messy hair, and swallowed the chicken she had been munching on. She looked at all those scars that she knew so well, lying all over _the muscles of his chest, his torso, his shoulders._ She licked her lips. “Hello there,”

He chuckled and shook his head. He turned around to exit the kitchen “I’m gonna go get dressed up,”

 _How about no?_ And then she shook her head to snap out of it. _You almost fainted and then puked your guts out, keep it together. Sex right now_ wasn’t an option that she could afford to have. She turned her attention on the _delicious_ chicken that she had sliced to bits. Her stomach growled. _Hello there too._

Vincent returned in a dark red shirt, and black sweatpants. He had wrapped his hair back, but still, some of them fell messily on his face. He sat on the kitchen table across her and just watched her as she stuffed food in her mouth. He looked at her puffy cheeks as she munched, and swallowed, and cut with a knife and a fork.

“Did you eat?” Jocasta asked with her mouth full and he chuckled.

“I’ve been waiting to eat with you,”

“Awwwww, Vince!” Her eyes widened as she let down the fork and the knife and stopped eating. She swallowed the bite that she’d taken and she hurried to grab a plate for him right away. “You should’ve eaten!! It’s been so many hours! You must be starving!”

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about me,” Vincent got up and grabbed two glasses for both of them, before settling them on the table “I called Shalua. She could use a blood sample of yours to figure out what’s wrong,”

“Of course,” Jocasta served him a bit of that chicken on his plate and she grabbed a fork and a knife for him from the drawers. “I’ll give you a bottle to bring to her tomorrow,”

He grabbed the bottle of wine that they had in the fridge before the two of them settled on the table “Are you sure you don’t want her to do it for you?”

Jocasta chuckled “I’ve worked in Hospitals my entire life. I’m sure I can extract some blood from myself,”

He nodded and he began eating.

“I could check for myself too, but I don’t have enough tools here,”

“Have you thought about it?” He asked.

“Hm?”

“Working as the WRO’s Chief Scientist,”

She sighed “I don’t know. I’m scared to go back there… you know?” The last time she had worked in some _big_ company as a second in command scientist, things didn’t go _well at all._

“Reeve would never ask you to do something immoral. I know Shinra and the WRO have merged into a one, but at least… he doesn’t seem to be like them,” Vincent reasoned.

“Yeah… we’ll figure out what’s wrong with me first,” she chuckled.

“Of course,” his hand found hers on the table, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze and he smiled at her. He was still _terrified_ about what that would be. He just hoped it wasn’t something _serious_ that threatened her health –nay, _her life_.

When he finished eating, she got up and walked across the table. She sat on his lap and his hands slithered around her right away, supporting her against him and bringing her body close. She buried her face in his neck and sighed there contently. She closed her eyes as she felt the weight of his cheek against her temple. She could tell he was worried, but he was still making a pretty good job at hiding it.

Her hand reached for his face. She lifted her head up to catch his eyes with hers and she smiled at him “I don’t think it’s anything serious, Vincent. Stop worrying,”

He sighed reminding himself _how well she knew him._ His fingers tightened around her thighs as he brought her a little bit closer. His hand on her back had snuck beneath her shirt. His fingers were warm, spreading on the bare skin on her back and he brushed his nose against hers. He just loved her _so much_ the thought of _anything_ happening to her sounded like the worst _nightmare._

“You know I can’t help it,” He said.

She smiled at him. Her thumb stroked his cheek “I know,”

His hands tightened around her and she nuzzled her face back in his neck, breathing him in and closing her eyes. The smile, frozen on her lips.


	98. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song for this Chapter: 'Never Tear Us Apart' by Bishop Briggs (from Fifty Shades Freed OST)

Things had been busy in the WRO Headquarters for quite a few days. New recruits were brought each day. The Turks were teaching new members, and Vincent was asked to help with their training. He did not remember much from whatever he was taught in the Turk Academy - _so long ago-_ but it was all coming back to him from watching Reno, and Rude and Elena. They weren’t like the Turks back in his days - _more than thirty years ago-_ but they did have that _spark_ that the Turks _should_ have. And the new recruits had that too. They were all _here_ to aid to the world’s betterment, _after all_.

Hester and Shalua were researching all day, all night. There was just no end to progress. New weapons, new generation of artificial limbs. Hester led such projects with her team and she couldn’t have been happier. Sephiroth was training the rookies of the WRO’s army. He was their General, _after all._ A title that _more_ than suited him.

The microscope’s light fell on the hazel irises of Hester’s eyes that stared curiously behind the lenses of her circular glasses. Hester was trying to figure out how to grow artificial neurons from one’s cells and put them into an artificial limb making it possible to feel _contact, heat, pressure, pain._ The four basic senses that all areas on the body have. _Well, pain isn’t a basic sense since the brain can’t feel pain._ Hester reminded herself, _but without pain censors it would be difficult to protect the arm. It is pain that keeps somebody from slicing their arm off._

She frowned. Maybe she should come up with some kind of _synthetic_ liquid that could work as _blood._ Because without it, _how in the world_ can the neurotic message reach the brain? Hester sighed. She should probably recheck some stuff before proceeding to that.

But _for now,_ she grabbed the empty cup -that once contained coffee- that she had on the counter, and she got off her bench to go fill it _again._ She wasn’t sure how many coffees she had had already, but she knew they were many and the caffeine wasn’t doing any good to her nerves. _But who cares?_

She grabbed her empty mug and proceeded to walk out of the lab but Shalua’s voice cut her. Shalua too was wearing an arm that Hester had fixed for her, with synthetic skin covering the electric mechanisms that hid beneath. She _finally_ had an arm that she thought she had lost _forever_. Jocasta had suggested the use of JENOVA’s genome to _regenerate_ one’s cells and create 100% compatible implants. _Brilliant!_ Just _brilliant._ But they had no geneticist who knew how to do that, so, they were waiting for Jocasta to come and _take a piece of the action._

“Going to refill?” Shalua asked as she typed on the keyboard of the computer that she had in front of her.

“You know me. Can’t go on without fuel,” Hester said and Shalua handed Hester her own mug.

“Me neither,” She agreed.

Hester gave her a smile as she grabbed her friend’s mug and walked out of the lab. A couple more scientists and executives walked all around the halls of the large building. She recognized most of them and she returned their nods with a smile of her own. The café rested no further away. It was a large room filled with coffee, tea, water, and food, free for the staff members only.

She spotted Sephiroth filling his own mug with coffee. He turned and gave her a smile that she returned gladly. He was dressed in the WRO grey/blue General’s uniform. A few of his shirt’s buttons were unbuckled, revealing some of his chest. It all suited him so well. She always found herself sighing whenever he was around. _I’m hopeless._

He must have the left Masamune in the training room. His hair fell on his back and his bangs fell on his face never once bothering him. And she too looked _stunning._ And maybe that’s why that smile flashed across those _perfect lips_ of his. Her blue skirt reached just above her knees. Her shirt was stuffed beneath it, two buttons were unbuckled, exposing some of her chest and her hair were wrapped back in a ponytail _as usually_. Her glasses rested neatly on top of her nose. She filled her own and Shalua’s cups and she took a sip from her own, turning at Sephiroth as he spoke.

“How’s research going?”

She swallowed the sip. The sweet, bitter taste of coffee spread on her tongue and she sighed contently “Slow but, promising I’d say. How’re the rookies doing?”

He too sighed taking a sip from his own coffee “Slow but promising as well. Valentine’s working on the _new generation of Turks_ , so it seems,”

She smacked his shoulder “Don’t call him that, he’s your father,”

Sephiroth just shrugged and took another sip from his coffee.

“Have you talked with mom?” Hester asked.

Sephiroth shook his head “No,” his hand reached for his pocket to draw out his phone and check the time. “Should probably do that once we get home,” they still had two hours of work.

“Yeah. Vincent said she’s been acting weak lately. Shalua’s analysing a blood sample of hers the moment we speak,” Hester said.

Sephiroth’s eyes widened in worry “Weak? How weak? What exactly?”

“Dizziness and vomiting. Could be a flu,” Hester shrugged.

“We should go visit,” Sephiroth said “I need to check up on her. Maybe it’s something else. Something serious. What if it’s something serious? What then?”

Hester chuckled. _Well,_ Jocasta had been his _mom_ for so long. It made sense that he’d be _more_ worried about her than she was. “Relax. Once the results come out, you’ll be the first I’ll be letting know,”

Sephiroth let out a sigh of relief “Thanks, Hester,”

She smiled “No prob-”

And then he grabbed her hand and started dragging her away. She let out a yelp as she spilled some of the coffee from the two mugs that she’d been holding. She tore her hands off of his and she placed the mugs on the counter.

“Seph- what the-”

“Follow me,” his breath reached her ear and she shivered slightly. _Oh,_ she had a feeling _what_ he was up to.

His hand reached for hers, grabbing her wrist and dragging her with him as he set down his own cup on the counter. They walked hastily out of the room. She had no idea where he was taking her, but she knew what he was up to, and _she couldn’t complain._ He pushed open the door of a storeroom that was empty. The lights, dim. There were boxes stored in metallic shelves and she found her back crushing against them.

His lips found hers, hard and needy. His tongue pushed into her mouth without permission. He met her taste with his and he growled in her mouth. His hands reached around her, clutching hard on her lab-coat and pushing it off of her. They let it slip down to their feet. A gasp came out of her as he pushed his tongue down her throat and for a moment, he thought that he might have overdone it, but he couldn’t help the _urgency. The need_ that he had for her at _this_ moment. The moment she’d walked into the lounge room, he could think of nothing but having her body trapped against his and his tongue in her mouth.

Her hands were on his chest, clutching on his shirt, and sneaking beneath and he didn’t mind. He shivered at the cold touch of her fingers as they traced the muscles of his torso. He pulled back from the kiss to hear her panting and breathing hard. Her eyes widened in alarm.

“Sephiroth, we gotta go back to work! We can’t be doing that here-”

“Here,” he insisted, his hands were tight around her waist as he dragged her over the wall and flipped her around, with her body pressed against it.

He pulled on her ponytail forcing her head back against his shoulder and his lips found her earlobe, nibbling on it and making her let out a gasp that drove him _insane._ His hand reached for her skirt, pulling it up and sneaking beneath her knickers. Her nails clutched in the bulging veins of his hand, trying to stop him, but she was _powerless_ comparing to him _. Everybody’s powerless comparing to Sephiroth._

Two of his fingers slipped inside of her and she groaned. Her body pressed back against his as her wetness pulled him deep and he let out a hoarse chuckle against her ear.

“Look who’s wet,” his tongue flicked out against her earlobe “I’ve barely done anything to you,”

She shivered. Her palms pressed flat against the wall and she let her forehead press against it. “Dammit,” _sexy bastard._

His hand reached for her face clamping around her mouth “You’re not allowed to _scream_ , Doctor,”

His hands set a furious pace in and out of her that had her whole body trembling, pushing against him and she wasn’t sure if she was trying to push him away or just let him _finger-fuck_ her till the entire HQ could hear her screaming. She groaned against his hand as his fingers thrust in and out of her so fast that she was afraid her feet would refuse to hold her. His fingers found that spot and they tapped and tapped _and tapped_ against it till the only sound in the room was that _sweet_ , slick sound of his fingers hitting inside of her. 

She came hard with a muffled cry. His fingers brought her hard down her intense orgasm and her slick juices slipped down her thighs. _Fuck._ He was going to make a mess. His hand let go of her mouth as his fingers stilled inside of her and he let her catch her breath.

“S- Sephiroth… w- we shouldn’t be-”

His fingers curled inside of her and she had to bite her lips not to cry out “Who’s giving the orders here, Doctor?”

She bit her lip and her forehead landed against the cold wall “Y- You, _General_ ,”

His lips ghosted against her ear “Good girl,” his fingers started working into her again, slower this time. She let out a couple of whimpers and her head slipped back against his shoulder “You’re not allowed to come, _Doctor_ ,”

She gritted her teeth when his fingers worked into her in an accelerating pace that had her pushing her body against his and groaning. He massaged her tight walls in and out and when he found that _spot,_ she just about _screamed_ but his lips found hers, muffling her right away. His hand found her neck, pressing her head against his shoulder. His fingers spread around her neck without squeezing. She tried so hard not to _combust on the spot,_ but then he pulled his fingers out of her and he flipped her around.

Her back hit against the wall and his lips crushed against hers. His hands unzipped his pants and pulled his hard member out. His arms pushed her skirt further up her body as he picked her up. One hand supported her against him and the other guided himself inside of her. Hester let out a groan. Her feet tightened around his waist and her hands found his face. He caught her lips letting her adjust. The kiss was slower, softer than the others. Her slick walls sheathed him tightly. He couldn’t help that growl that reached his throat.

Her hands slipped around his shoulders and she broke the kiss as he started thrusting. Slow at first. His hands supported her against him. She felt the sweat slipping down her back as she leaned it and licked his cheek all the way to his lips. She bit on his lip making him groan. He pulled out and pushed back in with force. Her lips parted in a silent cry that turned into tiny little whimpers. His eyes met hers as he took her like that again and he had to kiss her to muffle her shouts.

He started thrusting into her faster and harder. His length filled her insides, stretching her in and out with force. His lips let go of hers and slipped down her neck. He trapped her skin between his teeth as he took her. His hips crushed against hers. He felt her fingers clutching on his shirt, in his hair, as he buried his face in her neck, biting and licking, and suckling, adding new marks there. She gasped and writhed as her back hit hard against the wall and it felt like her legs were going to pop out of their place. She was going to come. She _needed_ to, but _damn him,_ he wanted her to _beg._

“P- Please…” she could barely make out the words “…let me come, General,” she gasped. His teeth trapped her skin between them hard enough to leave a visible bitemark. He didn’t care. He wanted to _mark_ her. She was _his._

“Come for me, Hester,”

She needed no further prompting. She came hard around him till her whole body was shaking. Her eyes shut, her head rolled back and his hand clamped on her mouth as he _fucked_ her through her orgasm till he came inside of her with a growl against her neck.

He caught her lips again before he allowed them both to catch their breath. His forehead pressed against hers, their eyes met.

“Do you think… anybody… heard?” Hester asked alarmed for a moment.

He caught a few more breaths and he shrugged. He couldn’t care the least “What if they did? They could learn a thing or two,”

She laughed breathlessly and her head rolled back against the wall.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Are you okay?” Shalua’s voice came the moment she entered the lab and handed her the mug of coffee.

“Never been better, why?” Hester asked as she made her way to her own bench to sit down.

Shalua’s eye followed her all the way to the counter “You’re limping,” she pinpointed as she took a sip from her coffee “Also, this is cold,” she pointed on her mug.

 _Ah, crap._ Hester placed her own mug on the counter “Don’t act like you don’t take five hours to drink a cup of coffee,”

Shalua raised an eyebrow “Valid point,” she tucked her glasses further up her nose “Also, we got an emergency situation on the lower floors. You should go check it out,”

“Who is it?” Hester asked.

Shalua shrugged “Didn’t say. They’re asking for you though. No worries, WRO soldiers will be escorting you,” 


	99. Realization

Vincent left early, and after washing the dishes from the breakfast that she’d made for him, Jocasta went back to sleep. But there was something that just _didn’t_ stop lingering in her mind. She had given Vincent a bottle of a few millilitres of her blood that Shalua was going to examine and figure out what’s wrong. Her hand reached for her belly. There was something _very wrong about this. Fainting? Vomiting? Hunger?_ They all sounded so _familiar._ Symptoms of a case that Jocasta had researched when Hojo suggested they inject Lucrecia’s womb with JENOVA cells while being _pregnant_ to Sephiroth _._ Jocasta’s eyes widened and she stopped breathing for an entire minute.

_Pregnant._

_No._ It couldn’t have been true. It wasn’t even possible. _For all she knew,_ Hojo had _fucked up_ her abdominal area with his lancets and his experiments. The high voltages and all that cutting and butchering. She still had her period but… _Period._ She pushed aside the sheets that had been covering her body, and she hurried over the kitchen counter. She grabbed the notebook where she was keeping all the dates.

 _Late. Late!_ She was late on her period and her eyes remained widened, rereading the dates, and trying to figure out other explanations about it. She couldn’t be _pregnant._ Her one oviduct and ovary weren’t working at all ever since what Hojo had done to her, but the other… _the other…_ She groaned. Her hand reached for her forehead and she rubbed the headache that had started gathering there.

 _This couldn’t be true._ She hadn’t worried about it because she thought that she was _unable to carry any children._ But maybe she was. _Oh,_ how would Vincent react to that? She didn’t know. He hadn’t reacted much when he was told that Sephiroth was his own. What if the results came out and he’d react the same way? With that cold look in his eyes and a thousand words storming around his mind that he’d never let out. What if he didn’t want this? _What if…_ so many _ifs_ that _terrified_ her. She didn’t have any appetite to eat after this.

 _No._ She could be wrong. Something else must have been going on and she should just _wait and see._ She regretted leaving her microscope on the basement and without Vincent, she couldn’t go down there. _There are cockroaches down there._ She thought of going for a moment. Maybe it was time she fought the fear for that _vicious_ little _insect_ but the more she thought about it, the more she _didn’t_ want to go. _Hell naw._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“CID! Where THE HELL is that CAKE, I asked you to buy HOURS AGO?!”

“Dammit, woman! I haven’t even left the house yet!”

“Then what the hell ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!”

Cid rubbed his forehead and groaned “Gotta fix the goddamn car, to go to the goddamn store, TO BUY THE GODDAMN CAKE!” he slipped out from beneath the car and tossed the screwdriver in a chest that was filled with tools. Then the bell of the door resounded all around the house and he groaned. He wiped the grease from his hands on his suit and walked out of the garage and back to the living room.

“Cid! The door!”

Cid shot a deadly look towards Shera, who was sitting on the armchair in the living room. Her belly was significantly bigger. Her glasses rested at the tip of her nose as she sewed the holes that he had made on a shirt. She had a satisfied smile on her face upon glancing on his _frustration_.

“I fuckin’ heard it, Shera! I ain’t fuckin’ deaf!” Cid cried out before he proceeded to open the door. The deadly look disappeared from his face and he laughed when he saw Jocasta. “Joe! Thank fuckin’ God, you’re here!”

He pushed her into a tight hug, squeezing her before he pulled back and patted her shoulder. “How’re you two? I could hear your yelling from outside,” Jocasta hung her coat by the coat stand and Cid scratched his head turning at Shera.

“That fuckin’ woman’s drivin’ me nuts!”

Jocasta looked at Shera who had a mischievous smile on her face “Have you turned him into a doormat?”

Shera smirked “You bet I have,”

“You lucky you carry another fuckin’ Highwind in there, or else-”

“WHERE’S MY CAKE, CID?!”

“You ain’t gettin’ any fuckin’ cake until I fix the goddamn car!”

“Haven’t you sold that garbage ALREADY?!”

Cid gasped offendedly “Don’t you ever call my great-grandpappy’s car A FREAKIN’ GARBAGE AGAIN!”

“It is!”

“It is a fuckin’ HEIRLOOM of the GLORIOUS Highwind dynasty! You don’t get to call it garbage, woman!”

Shera frowned and Jocasta was trying her best not to laugh. Her hand reached for her mouth, trying to hide the laughter. _Oh,_ she had missed those two.

“Also, Joe…” Cid turned and looked at Jocasta “…would you mind letting me borrow your car to go buy that fuckin’ cake? That fuckin’ garbage won’t fuckin’ start,” Cid pointed at the door that led to the garage.

“Hey!!!” Shera cried out pointing a finger at him.

Jocasta was almost suffocating in laughter “Of course,” she handed him the keys and Cid walked out cursing loudly under his breath, slamming the door shut.

Jocasta walked towards Shera who was starting to stand up to hug her, but Jocasta placed a hand on her shoulder urging her to stay back down on the armchair.

“Don’t move on my behalf, dear,” Jocasta leaned down and hugged her.

“Aw, it’s alright,” Shera patted Jocasta’s back.

Jocasta pulled back and she sat on the couch beside her “How’s the little guy in there doing?” she pointed her chin on Shera’s direction and Shera chuckled.

Her hands reached for her huge belly, giving it a gentle stroke “He’s a kicky one,” she turned her attention back at Jocasta and she pushed her glasses further up her nose “A true pain in the ass. Just like his father,”

Jocasta chuckled “Cid’s trying to help, you know,”

“Aw, I know that he does. I just can’t resist making his life a living hell,” Shera laughed as she let go of the shirt that she was sewing “But enough about me, what about you? How’s Vincent doing? Cid and Vincent get to catch up at work, but we haven’t talked in a while!”

“Shera, we talked two days ago on the phone, remember?”

“Well, that was _two days ago!_ It’s a lot,” Shera raised a finger.

Jocasta chuckled and she rested her body back on the couch “I guess,”

“What’s wrong, dear, you seem troubled,” Shera’s hand reached for Jocasta’s.

Jocasta gave her a gentle squeeze and sighed “I just… I had nowhere else to go,”

“Oh no, what happened? Did Vincent run off again?” Shera asked worriedly.

Jocasta laughed “No,”

“Good! Cause he’d be getting his ass whooped by me! Ask Cid about it. It ain’t pleasant, I tell you,” Shera smirked.

Jocasta chuckled “Well…” she sighed again “…yesterday I just got this… dizziness, and vomited, and then I got all hungry! And today I just realized I’m five days late and-”

“Oh yeah, sounds like pregnancy to me,” Shera nodded.

“Exactly! A- And I’m freaking out because… how would Vincent react to this? What if he runs off again?!” Jocasta cried out terrified.

“Oh, he definitely will,” Shera nodded.

“Shera, you’re not helping me here,” Jocasta said and Shera chuckled.

“Well, I will be helping you by whooping his ass-”

“Shera-”

“I know, I know. But are you sure it isn’t anything else?” Shera asked and Jocasta sighed again.

“Well, Shalua will run some blood tests and let us know,” Jocasta said.

“Then why are you freaking out? Nothing’s sure yet!”

“And I’d prefer it to stay that way! I’d rather have Vincent believe I have some exotic disease than… than _that,_ ”

Shera frowned “It isn’t a _curse_ , Joe. I know it’s driving me and Cid crazy, but I can tell we both want it,”

“Yeah, but Cid’s… Cid’s different, and Vincent is Vincent,” Jocasta reasoned. She groaned “To be honest, I always wanted this. A normal life, to bring a normal child into it, but I don’t know what Hojo’s done to mine and Vincent’s genes. I don’t know how this child is gonna turn out -if I have it, that is- and I don’t know if Vincent wants this,”

“He probably doesn’t,” Shera nodded.

Jocasta pinched the bridge of her nose “You’re being awfully _optimistic_ ,” she said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, I just need this cake so much,” Shera said and that’s when Cid entered the house and placed the cake by the living room table.

“There you fuckin’ go,” He said before tossing the keys towards Jocasta who caught them with her fast reflexes.

“Aw, thank you, honey,” Shera said and her hands reached for him to give him a hug “Come down here, lemme give you a kiss,”

Cid groaned “Those mood swings of yours are fuckin’ killing me,”

“LEMME GIVE YOU A KISS, I SAID!”

Cid flinched back terrified for a second before he leaned down and hugged her “Okay, okay, okay! Fuckin’ hell!” Shera pressed a kiss on his lips and he sighed pulling back “You crazy science bitch, I still love you,”

“Aww, I love you too, you stinky bastard,” Shera giggled when he kissed her again, but then she pushed him away “Now give me that cake!”

“Yes ma’am,” he sighed as he gave her the box that she placed on her belly which was big enough to serve as a table. 

Jocasta raised an eyebrow “Don’t you want me to grab a plate or a spoon, or a fork or something?”

“No, no worries, I got this,” Shera brought up the cake with her hands and took a large bite from it.

Jocasta cringed. _Am I gonna end up like that?!_

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

He checked the watch on his hands while he made his way towards the R&D section of the WRO headquarters. Everything had gone fine. Another day gone and Vincent couldn’t wait to return back home. Return back to _her._ He entered the lab, finding Shalua, still searching on Jocasta’s blood for diseases. A couple of other scientists were around, searching on stuff on their benches, but Hester wasn’t there. He shrugged. 

“Hey, Vincent,” Shalua gave him a smile before she turned her attention back to the monitors. She added something on a blood sample before she turned her attention back to the microscope.

“How’s it going?” Vincent asked as he crossed his hands against his chest and Shalua bit on her pen before she turned and looked at him. She handed him a paper with the test results.

“I’ve run tests for a hundred diseases and I could run for a hundred more, but I believe it’s very much obvious what it is,” Shalua said.

Everything seemed fine in her blood. The hormones, the iron, the white cells… they all were within the normal percentages. He gave her a confused look.

Shalua sighed “Oh c’mon. Vomiting and dizziness and hunger. You better be expecting mood swings too-”

“What is it, Shalua?” he cut her.

She walked beside him and pointed with her pen on the paper. A specific hormone. The only hormone that was underlined in red “High secretion of the hCG hormone,” she sighed “I’m not sure you’re gonna like it, but… your wife’s pregnant, Vincent Valentine,”

He didn’t know if he had heard right. Maybe something was _very wrong_ with his ears. “What?!” maybe his eyes were wide and his shoulders stiffened and he felt alarmed right away, but he did not mean to let it come out so _loud_ and _surprised._

“Second Month, I’d say. But she better get a gynaecologist if you guys wanna know more,” Shalua crossed her hands against her chest.

 _Oh, no._ He had heard right. _Jocasta… pregnant?_ He didn’t know what to feel about this. _Sure,_ he was already a father and things with Sephiroth were _tricky_ but he hadn’t been there for Sephiroth from the beginning. He hadn’t been there when he was born when he was raised when he was in his teenage years, and later on in his twenties. There were just so many things that he _hadn’t_ done and his own father was _terrible_ already. What if he turned out like him? What if he too became a _terrible father?_ Just like his? He had no better _examples_ of fatherhood. He had no idea how to do this.

He had no idea what to do, how to do it. He just remained frozen for a minute -or two- and he didn’t know he’d been staring blankly on the paper that he held in his hands. He just knew his heart was beating so fast, it was practically all that he could hear. He felt his fingers tightening around the paper. He _honestly_ thought that she _couldn’t_ bear children because of all the experiments that Hojo had done to her and that was why he had never thought of being _careful, but… He had been a monster_. She too had been a _monster_. What effects was that going to have to their baby?

Shalua clicked her fingers, snapping him out of those endless thoughts that never seemed to stop storming around his mind. “You still here?”

“How?” He wasn’t sure if he had just asked that in his mind or if he had actually asked it, but Shalua chuckled.

“I’m very much sure you know how these stuff happen,” A mischievous smile flashed across her lips and he groaned.

“I mean… after everything that Hojo did to her… how can she still bear a child?” He asked confusedly.

Shalua shrugged “I don’t know what Hojo did to her. She still might not be able to bear a child, because if she isn’t, her organism will miscarry it anyway. You can be sure after the 12th week,”

Her words felt like a cold splash of water on his face. _If she isn’t, her organism will miscarry it anyway._ He didn’t want that. That would _break_ her. He knew she wanted _this._ He knew Jocasta always wanted a _normal_ life with _somebody._ But maybe Shalua was right. What if her organism couldn’t bear that because of the experiments?

He sighed. He thought he’d never get to this. He’d imagined things so much different. He had imagined that _being told he’d become a father_ would be something _wonderful._ He thought that it would bring him _so much happiness_ but it _didn’t_. He was _terrified_. He was afraid to watch her getting hurt. He was afraid that he’d never become a _perfect_ father for their child. He was afraid of their modified genes’ effects on their baby. He was _terrified._ He must’ve stopped breathing.

“Thanks, Shalua,”

She nodded at him before he hurried out of the lab and eventually out of the building. He needed to talk to her. He needed to hold her because he knew that she’d be frightened as well. He needed her to _hold him_ and let him know that _they could handle this._ They had handled so many things. They had been through so many things together. They could _do this._ They could deal with that too. They were going to do this _right_.

He thought of nothing but this while on his way to her. He drove carefully through the streets before he took the road for the forest where their house had been. Her car was parked outside. He parked it beside hers and he walked up the few stairs till he reached the doorstep. He walked into their house. He recognized the sound of something boiling on the stove.

She was on top of the stove, adding stuff and mixing things together. She placed the cap on top of the pot and she let it boil before she turned and saw him staring at her by the entrance of the kitchen. Her heart sank in her stomach from the silence that followed. He didn’t come to kiss her. He didn’t come to pass his hands around her and hold her. He was hesitant. His eyes focused on her posture. His hands hung from the sides and he sucked in a deep breath visibly. She needed to know.

“I’m pregnant, aren’t I?” She asked and even though the answer took a few seconds to come, he nodded. Her hand reached for the counter behind her and she let herself press her hips against it. She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t want to see that cold look on his face. She didn’t want to see that _hesitation,_ this _disapproval._ She knew he didn’t want this.

“Jocasta-”

“I’m sorry,” She cut him and he forgot what he had to say. Why would she even say that? None of this was her fault. None of this was _faulty._ She wasn’t looking at him and he _hated_ that. Her hands began trembling and she crossed them against her chest to stop the movement. What was she thinking? Was she thinking that he was going to leave her? It hurt so much to know that she thought of that. That she thought that he _could_ leave her. “I’m so, so, sorry I didn’t even know I could… that I could-”

Her hands found her face and she wept against them and he _hated_ so much to watch her being this way. How _dare_ she think of that? How _dare_ she even apologize? Did she think that he did not love her _enough?_ _No._ He had to show her. He had to let her know. _Again._ He didn’t care how many times she needed that.

She felt arms around her. She saw his white shirt. His black tie. He pressed her face against them and she wept there. She had been dreading this moment. She had been so _scared_ thinking of nothing else all day. She felt his fingers clutching on her shirt and she buried her face in his neck and sighed there.

“I love you, Jocasta. I love you so much. Did you think that I’d leave you? How can I leave you when I love you?” His breath found her ear, and he listened to the sigh that she left. His breath brushed warm against his neck and her hands tightened around him on his shoulders.

Her body pressed against his as he picked her with her face on his shoulder and his nose in his neck. He carried her back to their bed, making sure he wasn’t applying any pressure around her belly, but also making sure to hold her tightly so that she wouldn’t _fall._ He was carrying _both_ of them. The woman that he loved and _their child._ Having her in his arms like that reminded him things. It reminded him that this _should_ feel like a _blessing_ and the more he held _them_ , the more it did. He lied her down on their bed as gently as he could manage and he lied beside her. His arms slipped around her and pressed her body against his while he felt her breathe against his neck. He leaned in and kissed the tears from her cheeks. He kissed her wet eyelashes and his thumb found her cheek.

She turned her head and kissed his thumb and sighed “I’m sorry I freaked out,”

He chuckled “Shalua did say I should expect mood swings,” he made her laugh, and his heart fluttered on the sweet sound of her laugher.

“It’s just…” her hand found his chest and rested on top of his tie. Her eyes struggled to stay away from his “…I- I thought you wouldn’t want this. T- That you would-”

“Run away?” He finished for her and she sighed. His hand found her chin, guiding her eyes back on his “As I said before, how can I leave you when I love you?” he repeated and she smiled “It’s not that I don’t want this,” he pursed his lips. He knew it sounded _ridiculous._ “I’m _scared_ , Jocasta. I’m scared that I might not be a good father…” he shook his head “…I never had a proper father figure, and things with Sephiroth aren’t going so well,”

Her hand found his face “I don’t think you’ll have any problem with that. I mean…” she chuckled “…I had no idea how to raise Sephiroth. But it just… it just happened. I thought I was so terrible with children until I met Sephiroth and realized _I wasn’t._ You don’t need some… clever trick. They just need love. Just like you and me, Vincent. It’s not going to differ much from what you’re _giving_ me, and what I’m _giving_ you,”

He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes and sighed. Maybe she was right. Maybe it indeed didn’t differ much from that. _They just need love. Yeah._ And he remembered that the only thing that his father lacked was _love._ Genuine _love_ for his son. And maybe that was something that he too lacked to do _now._ He hadn’t given Sephiroth _a hug_. He hadn’t _tried_ to spend more time with him. He hadn’t _tried_ to -at least- act interested in swordsmanship or _whatever else_ Sephiroth liked. He didn’t even know _what_ Sephiroth _liked_. He had to try. He had to.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her. She always knew what to say to make him _feel_ better. She always knew how to approach matters. He nodded “We can do this,”

She smiled brightly “We can,” she felt his hand reaching for her belly. It snuck beneath her shirt, pushing the thin fabric up, and his warm fingers touched her scarred skin. His hand was almost trembling. His touch, hesitant and _frightened. So precious. So fragile._ He could hurt them both. He was afraid that he would, because, even after everything, he was still _frightened_. This was a whole new case.

But her hand found his, and supported it on her belly, giving him the courage that he needed. He never thought he’d get to _this_. After everything that happened, he never thought he’d get to that moment. To that day where he’d find out he was going to become a _father._ It all must have been some dream. Some Mako induced illusion that would end at any moment. But _no,_ her fingers were warm around his, and he was touching her belly. _His child._ He looked at her. She had a smile. A wide smile that he always longed to see on her face, as she looked down at their hands on their belly.

She was happy, and he felt that same happiness, and he touched her with less tension. Less _fear_. Less hesitation. He pressed a kiss on her forehead and he heard her sighing contently. _Happy._ Watching her being happy was all he ever wanted. He _loved_ her with all that he had, and _now,_ she was carrying his child and that love was so much stronger, he didn’t know if he could handle it. But he was going to love her and their baby so much. He held her tight. He was going to protect them both.


	100. New Enemy

It all came so alarmingly. Vincent and Jocasta were on their way to the WRO headquarters by the time the phone call came. Hester was missing. She was missing and no one knew where she was. Sephiroth sounded panicked. Of course, he would be. He loved her. The team was going to gather up right away.

Jocasta was worried. Where would she be? _Where’s my daughter?_ She had no idea and it drove her insane not knowing and she sighed a couple of times. Her fingers messed with her sleeves while they rested on her thigh. Vincent was beside her on the driver’s seat while he drove towards the WRO headquarters. He eyed her a couple of times. Night had fallen. It must’ve been around midnight. His hand reached for hers on her thigh, stopping that messy tugging that her fingers did on her sleeve whenever she was nervous.

He laced their fingers together while focusing his attention on the road ahead “We’ll find her,” he didn’t want her to worry. He didn’t want her to be nervous at all.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze “Okay,”

He let go of her arm to park his car on the outside of the WRO Headquarters. Soldiers were keeping guard outside. They recognized them and gave Vincent a nod before the two of them entered the building. Vincent’s hand lingered on her waist as he guided her to the control centre where Reeve would be. WRO soldiers were already there, researching on _who_ it might have been. Sephiroth was pacing around with his hands crossed against his chest. Cloud, Tifa, and Barret were talking with Reeve.

Cait Sith was on top of the computers, with his fingers plugged into them and searching through the network for evidence. Elena was beside the robotic cat, typing and checking on the results that the robot gave her. Tseng was on top of her with a hand against his chin staring at the monitor, on what she was working on. Rude and Reno entered the room from the other door.

“Did you find anything?” Tifa asked as everybody turned their attention at the two Turks.

“Two more people disappeared and we’re on lockdown,” Rude said.

“Boss, you better stay here where we can keep you safe,” Reno said at Rufus.

Rufus shrugged and looked over at Reeve who was speaking with some WRO soldiers “I’m not the boss, he’s the boss. I just pay for everything around here,” he said sarcastically.

Reno and Rude got on guard duty right away. After the disappearance that had happened, it was critical to keep both Rufus and Reeve safe, even though Rufus would have no problem blowing up the brains of anybody who’d try to merely _touch_ him.

“Didn’t you get bankrupt?” Barret asked confusedly and Elena chuckled.

“Did you guys seriously believe that?” she said taking a sip from her coffee “Damn, we did a pretty good job with the press,”

“Elena, focus,” Tseng reminded her and she sighed.

“Yes, _sir_ ,”

Reno’s attention fell on Vincent and Jocasta who had just entered the room. He approached the two with that cocky smile on his face “Hey, doc,”

Jocasta returned the smile and drew in a breath to talk, but Vincent’s hand tightened around her waist “Reno, report,” he ordered.

Reno sighed “Twenty-five more people disappeared the last two hours,” his hand found his waist, resting against it as Rude approached them as well.

“We checked the sites. We found no evidence, whatsoever,” Rude said.

“Could be someone from the inside,” Cloud suggested.

Sephiroth for once stopped pacing around and raised a finger “Could be,” he turned at the Turks “I need two of you to interrogate the entire HQ. Soldiers, nurses, scientists, caretakers, everyone,” he was worried and tense. That was pretty much clear.

“I’ll do it,” Tseng offered as he tightened the glove around his arm and he walked out. Elena looked at him, cringing slightly. She turned over at Reno.

“Reno, please, go with him and make sure he doesn’t murder anybody,” Elena said.

Reno sighed, he turned at Rude “Keep an eye on the bosses,” Rude nodded.

Next thing Jocasta knew, was that Tifa was pulling her into a hug that she gladly accepted and returned. Tifa pulled back, giving her a smile. “How’ve you been? Shalua told us,”

“Congrats!” Barret said as he pulled her into a suffocating hug and Jocasta tried her best not to laugh. She hadn’t seen those three for a while.

“How did Vincent take it?” Cloud asked as he crossed his hands against his chest and gave her a smile.

“Smoother than I expected,” Jocasta said. She looked around them. Some things were missing “Where’s Yuffie and Nanaki?”

“Red just found his tribe. He’ll be keeping them safe for the time being,” Barret said.

“Yuffie said she’s had some ‘Queen duties’ to take care of,” Tifa said.

“Damn, imagine the pressure for a twenty-year-old to rule a Kingdom,” Barret chuckled.

“We’ve come a long way,” Cloud nodded.

Jocasta nodded at her friends before she looked all around Vincent was talking with Reeve. She turned her attention at Sephiroth who was still pacing around and giving orders.

“How’s he doing?” Jocasta asked worriedly and Cloud sighed.

“As good as can be, I guess,” He said.

“He’s always so calm and composed, but now…” Tifa crossed her hands against her chest.

“Bet he wasn’t all calm and composed when he summoned a fuckin’ Meteor,” Barret commented receiving a smack on his shoulder and a deadly look by both Tifa and Jocasta. He raised his hands in defeat “Alright, alright! I know, it wasn’t him,”

Jocasta walked up to Sephiroth, hesitantly. She didn’t want to add to his worries. She just wanted to make sure he was _okay._ She too was worried. _It was her daughter that was missing amongst the rest of the WRO members._ Her hand found his shoulder and he stopped pacing for a moment. He turned and pulled her into a tight hug, leaning down to her height.

Her hands tightened around his shoulders as she gave him a moment to sigh against her shoulder. She caressed his back but Sephiroth pulled back and looked down at her “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m doing good,” Jocasta said reassuringly. She took his hand in hers and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze “Don’t worry. We’ll find her,”

He frowned “I’ve lost lots of men too,” he turned around and looked at the screens that his soldiers were researching on “We got no leads. We got no evidence. No clue on who might’ve done it,”

“Whoever it was, they made a perfect job,” Reeve said as he and Vincent approached the rest of the team. “They left no trace behind,”

“They couldn’t have just disappeared. We’re talking about twenty-five people,” Cloud reasoned.

“Guys!” Elena drew everybody’s attention “I think I got something,”

Everybody gathered around her. Even Rufus seemed interested. She replayed a video from the cameras of the underground parking lots of the Headquarters. She paused the footage, and magnified, _and magnified_. She let the program work onto bettering the quality of the picture, before it revealed a man. It was still black and white, but he had hair that barely reached his shoulders. Some of them fell on his face, but he was wearing a hat, covering himself discreetly within the cars.

“That was seconds before somebody hacked into our mainframe and froze the cameras,”

“How can you tell?” Tifa asked.

“A report came at 5:45 pm for Dr. Ernchester -your daughter…” she gave Jocasta a look “…to come down here to the parking lots, floor -3. The cameras froze at 5:44 pm when this man showed up. Same thing happened to floors 4, 3, and 9,”

“The labs,” Reeve pinpointed.

“Exactly,”

“So, they’re after the Docs?” Barret asked.

“So it seems,” Elena nodded.

“Bring it back to that man, Elena,” Sephiroth said and she did.

There was something familiar about that man that he couldn’t quite point his finger at. _Who is he?_ It was still black and white, he couldn’t tell the colours of his outfit, his hair. He was dressed in the WRO uniform so it made sense that he’d blend into the WROs but he hadn’t seen him working in there before.

“I don’t recognize him,” Vincent said.

“Me neither,” Reeve said “This man isn’t a WRO,”

“Then what is he?” Tifa asked, “What can he be?”

Nobody had an answer to that. Sephiroth groaned. _This is getting us nowhere._ He pressed a button on the intercom that he had in his ear and contacted Reno.

“Any leads?”

_“No luck, General,”_

“Commissioner! A rogue transmission is being broadcast on all wavelengths!” A soldier’s voice and everybody turned at the big screen attached to the other side of the room.

“Bring it on,” Reeve ordered and he did.

They all stared at the footage on the big screen and Jocasta cringed. The last time something alike happened, it was Hojo faking her death on a clone of hers. Her breath hitched halfway her throat when the realization hit her. _Clones._

_Oh, no._

And whatever she saw on the screen, it proved her assumptions correct. She let out a gasp. She was sure that Sephiroth’s fingers had clenched into fists. It was Hester tied on a chair and then came the red-haired man that she knew all about. _Genesis._ That _poor_ experiment that went _so wrong._

His red, leather coat fell on his back. His red hair fell on his face. He was exactly as she remembered him. The degradation had stopped _so it seemed._ Or else he wouldn’t be there. He whipped out his red-bladed sword and looked at the camera, back at them.

_“A life for a life,”_

He pressed the blade of his sword onto Hester’s neck and Jocasta flinched. Her daughter whimpered, fighting against her restraints on the chair, but she had nowhere to go. Jocasta’s heart hammered hard against her chest.

_“Approximately ten years ago, I sought the help of a very popular Shinra scientist. Fun fact, this is her daughter,”_

He pointed his sword at Hester and he chuckled sickly. Her mouth was muffled by a cloth that was tied around her head. She couldn’t speak. She only groaned and grunted and shook. His gloved hand reached for her face. His fingers pinched into her cheeks

 _“Such beautiful creation coming out of such wicked people…”_ he chuckled again and let go of her cheeks _“…bring me Dr. Jocasta Ernchester or else her daughter and twenty-four more people will be dead by dawn,”_ he threatened _“Joe, if you decide to show up, I’ll make sure your daughter and the rest people are given back intact. Can you bear to watch your daughter die?”_ he laughed _“I know you can, ‘cause that’s the thing with scientists, you know. They love their experiments more than their own children. Launch an attack though, and she dies. Don’t be sneaky on me, Joe. You know I’m not kidding,”_

And that’s where the footage ended. There was nothing but darkness on the screen afterwards. Jocasta felt guilt, and worry, and fear, and shame, and regret. It all choked her like a tight chain around her neck and she couldn’t bear it. People were going to die because of her. Her daughter’s life was in danger because of the _things_ that she had done. She wasn’t going to let this happen. She _couldn’t_ let this happen. She had put lots of effort trying to keep Hester safe, but she didn’t give a _damn_ about the effort. She would do it all again. She would give her life for her children. She would trade her happiness and she wouldn’t hesitate. 

“Did you get the address?” Reeve asked.

“Location’s in Kalm, sir. An old Warehouse,” One of the WRO’s said.

“We’ll launch an attack,” Sephiroth said right away. He turned at the WRO soldiers that were around and he started giving the orders “Gather the squads, evacuate the city. I want you all in positions by midnight-”

“What are you doing? He’s going to kill her if we attack!” Jocasta said.

“I can’t stand idle, Jocasta!” Sephiroth snapped. He was furious. His crimson-brown eyes flickered with anger. His muscles, clenched. His fingers, fisted. He could _tear_ Genesis apart if he was there. He would _tear_ apart _anybody_ who would even _lay_ a finger on Hester like that.

“Maybe we could approach this differently,” Reeve suggested. He turned at Jocasta “You go in, you make sure Hester and the rest are safe, and then we attack,” Reeve suggested.

Vincent’s eyes widened. His fists clenched. He threw a hand in front of Jocasta, urging her to stand behind him and _shut her mouth_ because he knew that she was going to accept right away “We won’t be doing that. I’m not letting her go down there on her own,”

“But she won’t be on her own. We’ll be waiting outside with the rest of the troops. There will be no getting out for him,” Cloud said.

“Sounds like a good plan,” Barret said.

“No,” Vincent refused “How do we know that he’s not alone, in there? I’ve lost her so many times already. It’s not going to happen again. Not now,” He meant it. Not _now_ that she was _carrying his child. Not now_ that they had figured this out, that they had a house, a normal life. _Not now_ that they had found their happiness and even _safe,_ little things like _this_ could _ruin it all._

“We won’t let him take her, Vincent. We’ll set him up,” Tifa said.

“Yeah! We’ll be right there to kick that ginger-headed sucker’s ass,” Barret said.

“I’ll have all squads waiting outside. No harm will come to her,” Sephiroth finally spoke. He sighed as he turned at his _father_ “I can’t ask you to trade two lives for one if that’s what you think is gonna happen,”

Jocasta smacked Vincent’s hand away and she frowned “Do I get a say in this?” she asked. Vincent opened his mouth to try and talk, but she cut him “I’ll be armed. Should any harm come to me, I’ll defend myself, long enough to get Hester and the others out of there. Long enough for you guys to jump in and attack,”

Vincent sighed heavily. He knew she could handle it. She had _survived Deepground_ for an entire year. She had survived Hojo’s experiments _twice._ She could survive anything. Maybe she was capable of surviving everything but their _baby_ wasn’t. What if she got herself hit or pushed or crashed? Why wasn’t she thinking of that?

Her hand found his and she turned and looked at him giving him a reassuring smile “I know it’s dangerous…” she breathed shakily “…but he’s got my daughter. I can’t let anything happen to her. I can’t let him kill her. I had left her on Hojo’s hands for so long. Protecting her is the least that I can do now,” 


	101. Abduction

He watched her as she placed the daggers on her outfit. The familiar outfit that she had been wearing ever since this entire ordeal started. The WRO squads were evacuating whatever buildings encircled the warehouse. The two of them were in a WRO truck _now_ and they were waiting for the evacuation to be complete. Vincent just stood there with his fists clenched and his hands crossed against his chest. He couldn’t stop worrying. He couldn’t stop replaying the worst scenarios in his head. He knew what she was capable of. He knew that Sephiroth and the team and the WRO squads were going to protect her, but he knew that _everything_ could go wrong.

He noticed she’d been staring at him. She let out a sigh and she approached him. He was wearing a crimson shirt, a black tie, a black Turk jacket, black pants, and a dark crimson, long coat on top. The weather was cold. Winter was approaching. They were all dressed this way. But he was back to his Turk habits. Turk clothes. New guns fitted in cases beneath his jacket, and bullets in spots where no one could see them. He had kept his bandana though. It kept his hair at bay. Black messy locks still fell on his face. He was _perfect_ as always.

She approached him and her hand found his face and he sighed. His hands found their way around her waist and brought her body close, pressing against his. His eyes found hers and her forehead pressed against his. His hand reached for her belly. He didn’t know if things were going to turn out as planned. He just knew he was afraid that they _wouldn’t._ He was tempted to just _take her out of there and run._ He was always so good at _running_ but she _wasn’t._ She was so good at _facing_ and _battling_ and _dealing_ with whatever was thrown at her.

He admired that. She put other people’s lives upon her own, and he genuinely admired that. But she had gotten herself _hurt_ and _killed_ so many times, it scared him. It _terrified_ him. He brought her closer. His hand found her belly and even above all those layers of clothing, he could still feel that there was life in there and he was more _terrified_ to lose it than ever.

“Protect it,” he inhaled shakily “Please, Jocasta, please, be careful. Please, don’t try anything dangerous,” he had just found his happiness. He finally had a _wife_ and a _child_ that he both dearly loved. He couldn’t lose these _now._ He couldn’t _lose_ these because if he did, he’d go back into that coffin, and this time, he would starve to death and he would _embrace_ that. Because this time, there would be no demon to _force_ him alive.

Her hand found his face. He leaned against in. Her thumb brushed warm against his cheek and he sighed. Her hand found his on her belly “I will. No matter what happens, I’ll keep our baby safe, I promise,”

He knew these words should _ease_ his head, but they _didn’t._ He was still _frightened_ but he’d be right behind her. He’d be right there. He’d jump right in should anything happen. He nodded. 

“What do you do in case of an emergency?”

“I kick ass?”

He sighed. His eyes found hers, sternly “Jocasta-” he started with a serious tone but she cut him

She laughed “Three dots, three dashes, three dots,” It seemed like the _dark ages_ to use Morse Code. But she had the intercom tied around her wrist. It was a quiet and discreet solution. It was perfect.

“Good,” He let out a sigh of relief.

 _“Chief!”_ Reno’s voice came from outside as he knocked on the metallic door _“If you two lovebirds are done, you might as well come out,”_

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

It was a _terrible_ idea. _A terrible idea._ Vincent’s fingers tightened around his gun as he stayed in position along with the rest of the Turks and WRO soldiers that were waiting outside the warehouse, hiding as discreetly as possible. Sephiroth and the team were there, all around the old, abandoned building, and they watched Jocasta as she walked in. She was armed. Her Sais stood in their cases by her waist. She had a quiver of arrows on her back and her bow passed around her shoulders. It was just like back then when she was a TSVIET.

Black clothes, a white shirt hidden beneath. Her hair was picked up this time. Vincent hated this. He hated that he had to let her go in there alone, but _if you attack, she dies_ he had said, and they had no choice. He just stood there and watched her as she walked into the old warehouse.

Jocasta had to admit she was nervous. She knew she had all eyes on top of her even though the squads and the Turks had hidden skilfully all around the place. They took all the advantage from the darkness of the night, to hide. She walked into the warehouse. It was old and rusty, barely standing, abandoned. The lights were few and dim, but enough. There were old, empty, wooden boxes that once contained things that were taken or stolen. She couldn’t say. She walked in and slipped her gaze all around until she spotted the people.

Twenty-five unfortunate WRO operatives. Soldiers and scientists and her daughter in the middle. All on their knees, restrained, with cloths muffling their mouths. Jocasta hurried towards them, but she stopped when a huge black wing spread in front of her, covering sight of those people and her daughter. Jocasta stilled. Her breath hitched halfway her throat as she recognized the man who bore the wing.

“Genesis,”

“Are you surprised to see me?”

Her hands reached for her Sais and got in her stance “Not really,”

He watched her as she got in her stance and laughed “You’ve tried this before, Professor. It doesn’t work,”

“What do you want?” She asked, ignoring his words.

 _Yes,_ they had fought before. Back then she had nothing to fear, and getting beaten down and sliced, was something she didn’t care about because she could cure whatever was thrown at her. But _now,_ she did have her self-healing, but _self-healing_ wasn’t going to save her child should anything happen to it. _Now_ she too was frightened and she knew that she _couldn’t_ beat Genesis. She had tried that before.

“What I want? How about some justice?” He whipped the Rapier out and pointed it at her “Ten years ago, I came to you in the brink of death. I asked for your help but you turned your back,”

“You’ve misunderstood things. Shinra had sent you to find me and kill me,”

“But I didn’t, did I? I revolted against Shinra with Hollander and asked you to join us. It was you and Hollander who worked on Project G. It was either you or him that could stop the degradation…” he traced the blade of his sword with his fingers. He chuckled “…Alas, Hollander was a moron,”

“That’s something we agree on,” Jocasta said. She sighed “I never wanted to proceed with Project G, Genesis. I knew the consequences of passing JENOVA’s powers from a host to another host secondarily. I told Hollander not to do it but he did it anyway. Nobody listened to me even if I was second in command! What more do you think that I could’ve done?!”

“Save me!” he snapped “You had a healing serum, Professor Ernchester. You could have used that to help me! Didn’t you at least felt any guilt for experimenting on me? Don’t tell me you don’t remember…” he chuckled bitterly “…Hollander’s lancets and injections unleashing who knows what into my body. A two-year-old I was! And you did nothing but watch, whereas mothering Sephiroth and telling him that you weren’t one of them! _‘The scary people in white’_ ,” he repeated, just like Sephiroth had told her back then.

_“Are you scary… like the people in white?”_

_“I’d like to think that I’m not,”_

Maybe he was right. She wasn’t proud of the things that she had done back in her days as a Shinra scientist. Back when Lucrecia disappeared and Vincent was taken by Hojo, and Jocasta took her job back in Shinra merely to keep an eye on her sister’s and Vincent’s son. 

No matter the reasons _why,_ she was still _one of them. One_ of the insensitive scientists that experimented on people back then. It was only her, Hojo and Hollander the ones that were left in Shinra’s R&D command. Hollander was the third in command and both Hojo and Jocasta had agreed to keep him that way. But Hojo didn’t want her to work on Project S because he knew that she would refuse to work on Sephiroth’s experiments and so, he assigned her on Project G with Dr. Hollander. 

But she was forced to do things back then, that she wasn’t proud of, nor she wanted to talk about. She had explained these to the others before they’d reach Kalm. And _now,_ that he said these, she could do nothing but accept it. He had come for her help back then, and she had refused because she was so focused into _running away._ The only time in her life that she wanted to _run._

“Now,” he said “…now, I’m gonna be honest with you. I am cured. What you all _genius scientists_ thought was a failure, is the only success of the JENOVA Project. I harbour JENOVA’s powers without going insane. Without degrading. Without letting that vile energy control me,”

“And what do you plan to do with it?” Jocasta asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he laughed “I’m going to end the world, Jocasta. I’m going to rid this cursed Planet of existence, but I can’t do this without taking my revenge. This time, you’ll give me what I want, because you’ll have no choice,” he turned around and pressed the blade of his sword onto Hester’s neck. She squirmed and winced as her skin bled slightly.

Jocasta flinched “Whatever you want! I’ll do whatever you want, just please, let them go!” She wasn’t calculating the meaning of her words. She just knew she had to protect her daughter.

Genesis’s lips curled into a smirk as he pulled his sword back “Start by calling those WRO squads off. I know they’re out there, Jocasta. I knew you wouldn’t come alone,”

Jocasta sighed heavily as she brought her hand up and pressed the button of her intercom “The situation’s under control. You may proceed and retrieve the hostages,”

 _“Copy that,”_ It was Vincent’s voice. She knew it was the last time she’d be hearing it. At least for a while.

Genesis approached her. He fitted his sword on a case on his back. Icy blue eyes stared back at the entrance of the warehouse that was about to pop open with a couple of squads rushing in. He was fast. One arm passed around her waist, bringing her close before he whipped his wing and started flying. He threw a blast of fire on the ceiling, creating a hole large enough for both of them to fly out.

She didn’t want to touch him. She felt disgusted at the tight hold of his arm around her, but she was afraid of heights and clutched on his shoulders anyway. They flew upwards, out of the building, and eventually above the very clouds where the WRO squads couldn’t spot them.

The moon was half, and big and bright. A thick layer of clouds spread beneath them. Both his arms were tight around her now and he looked down at her. She had shut her eyes. Afraid of _heights._ He frowned. _Too bad._

“What’s keeping me from throwing you down this height, Professor?”

“Whatever the hell you want with me, I guess,” she glared up at him and he smirked before he whipped his wing and flew away. 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

“Where is she!?”

He got no answer right away. Hester was crying. Her hands, on her face, while she wept against them, and Sephiroth knelt beside her. The WRO squads were out looking and the rest were retrieving the hostages, freeing them of their restraints. Vincent’s fingers clenched into fists. He didn’t care about Hester crying. He didn’t care if she had an answer or not. He didn’t care if she was his son’s beloved and his wife’s daughter.

“Where is she?!” He cried out again. He needed an answer desperately. He needed her there. He didn’t know what was true and what wasn’t. He needed to know.

“Vincent, calm dow-” Reeve’s voice came from behind and he felt his hand on his shoulder. Vincent turned around and shook his friend’s hand away from his shoulder. His eyes, a crimson, flickering with anger. More like _fear_ that he masked with anger.

“He’s got my wife and my child! Do not tell me to calm down, Reeve!” He snarled pointing a finger on Reeve accusingly.

Reeve pulled his hand back and raised his hands in defeat. Reno and Rude jumped between them in order to keep Reeve safe should Vincent go off. Sephiroth looked up at the hole made on the roof.

“He flew out with her,” He said.

“But where are they heading?” Tifa asked as easy as she could, as she knelt beside Hester and her hand found her shoulder.

Cloud turned and looked at Hester “Any ideas? Did Genesis mention something?”

Hester sucked in a few deep breaths. Sephiroth’s arms were around her while she wept against his chest. His thumb found her cheek urging her to look up at him. She met those crimson eyes, that soothed her right away. He pressed his forehead against hers. He was relieved that she was _okay_ but _terrified_ that Jocasta was _gone,_ and this time _she was pregnant_ and he felt _terrible_ because he had _failed_ to protect her. He _had_ to save her. He had to.

He pressed his forehead against Hester’s. His thumb wiped the wet traces of her tears on her cheeks “Hester, can you remember him mentioning something? Anything?”

“N- No, we were drugged but-” her eyes widened as if she had realized something “…does she have an intercom?!”

“Yes,” Sephiroth nodded.

“Then I can track them,” 


	102. Knowlespole

_Cold._ She felt the cold metal beneath her sending chills down her spine. Her palms pressed flat against it. Her head buzzed. She had been resting it on top of her forearms when she realized she had passed out. She had been drugged and hopefully it wasn’t anything _harmful enough._ An intense ache caught her forehead. Her hand found it and she winced.

She forgot the headache when the thought crossed her mind. Her hand reached for her belly as she stood on sitting position. She didn’t feel any pain. She didn’t feel any blood trickling out. It all seemed fine. Her baby was safe, _for now._ She let out a sigh of relief. Her hair was untangled. They fell on her shoulders. Her daggers, her Sais, her bow and arrows were gone. _Of course_ , they would be.

Jocasta looked up. She was in a cell. Metallic bars surrounded her but she could tell it wasn’t a prison. It was a large room where people were working restlessly ontop of the control panels, monitors, computers. She recognized some of them. They were WROs that were probably _forced_ to aid in whatever _insane_ plans Genesis had. The room was large. A big hole was made on the ground and a machine hung on top. It seemed like all the engineers were working on it.

Jocasta thought about ways to escape. She chuckled bitterly. There was no way out. She no longer had a demon inside of her, to make her strong enough to bend the steel of the bars and take down an entire army on her own. There were guards dressed in Deepground uniforms everywhere. _Deepground?_ As far as she knew, everyone of Deepground’s was killed in the assault that WRO had launched. 

“These are just suits,” Genesis’s voice came and she looked outside of her cell where he stood with his back turned against her. “They’re copies of mine, but ever since I’ve been touched by the Goddess, my copies keep their form and their knowledge, but are still controlled by me,”

She had no idea what he was talking about. _Goddess?_ She just let her back rest against the cold wall and she crossed her legs looking outside of her cell.

He turned and looked at her for a moment and chuckled “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been merciful because of it,” Jocasta said.

He shrugged “Killing you today is not going to differ much from killing you tomorrow. I just brought you here to watch,”

“Watch what?”

“We’re at Knowlespole, Professor, do you know why?” he asked raising an eyebrow “It’s the spot closest to the heart of the Planet. Why else do you think the Cetra once habited this place? We’ve dug deep enough to reach the centre…” he pointed at the machinery that hung above that hole in the middle of the room “…that’s a magnificent Mako bomb that’s going to stop Gaia from spinning. I’m sure you know that motion is the one who creates gravity. Imagine what would happen if gravity ceased,”

Everything would start floating. Everything on Gaia would be pushed into space and killed from the low temperatures of it. Without the force of gravity to hold Gaia together, the intense pressures in its core would cause it to burst open and break apart into chunks that would float in space eternally. Not to mention the tidal effects of the moon that would trigger earthquakes and the waves of plasma that the sun would be sending their way. _Perfect._ Jocasta frowned. She couldn’t understand _why_ he wanted to do that and she didn’t care the least. She just knew the world was going to end and they’d have to save it, _again_.

“Enjoy the show, Professor,” Genesis let out a laugh before he walked out of the room.

Jocasta’s hand reached for the intercom that she had hidden beneath her sleeve. She just hoped she remembered the alphabet in Morse Code or else she’d been sending them _nonsense_. She couldn’t risk calling them and having them detecting the signal. But using an _older_ kind of communication, was going to be a safer and more discreet method. _Quieter too._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The Shera Model No. 5 landed outside the docks of the WRO Headquarters. Hester had detected the signal of Jocasta’s intercom to Knowlespole. Specific coordinates that she sent Cid right away. He landed the Shera outside where Sephiroth and WRO squads were already waiting and started boarding on the massive ship. Two more ships were parked around. The squads boarded them with Sephiroth and more Lieutenants and Commanders of the WRO.

They had made sure they were dressed in warmer clothes, fit for the low temperatures of Knowlespole. The Turks would come too. Rufus and Reeve were going to stay back to the base with Hester as she could guide the crews through the rescue operation.

Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Vincent found Cid into the Shera. They could smell the cigar from the bay. He was holding onto the rudder of the massive ship, waiting for the crewmembers to let him know when they were ready for take-off.

“I sleep for twelve fuckin’ hours and everything goes fuckin’ wrong!” Cid cried out as he saw the team entering the bridge. He approached them and pulled Tifa, and Barret, and Cloud and Vincent into hugs.

“Where were you, man?! I called fifty fuckin’ times last night!” Barret cried out.

“Oh! So, you were the asshole ringing on my phone!” Cid pointed a finger on the massive man.

“Hey!”

“I’ve been calling too,” Tifa said raising an eyebrow.

“Me too,” Cloud added.

Cid groaned. His hand found his nape, rubbing it gently “Sorry y’all. It’s hard being pregnant,” They laughed -minus Vincent and Cloud- and Cid frowned “What?! You motherfuckers ain’t believin’ me?! It really fuckin’ is!”

“Cid, how long till we reach Knowlespole?” Vincent cut in. His voice strict and firm. His tone dead serious. He had been quiet ever since _it_ happened and they all knew better than to disturb him.

“Lemme fuckin’ check,” Cid hurried over the monitors. He drew out the microphone “You fuckers ready down there?” he contacted Sephiroth.

 _“We’re good to go,”_ Sephiroth’s voice came from the speaker.

“Fuckin’ terrific!” Cid closed the call and hurried over the rudder. He gave orders around his crewmembers “Alright, y’all, let’s take this bird back in the skies, nice and easy,” he turned at Vincent and the other three “We should be reachin’ that cold-ass place in say… two hours,” he made some quick calculations in his mind before he grabbed hold on the rudder and turned his attention on the windows.

“Make it quick, Cid…” Vincent and he sighed “…he’s got her,”

Cid’s hand found his shoulder, giving it a squeeze “No worries, pal,”

“She’s alive,” Sephiroth’s voice came from behind as he rushed into the bridge “Hester’s picking up on her vitals from her intercom. She has sent us messages,” Sephiroth said.

“How have they not taken her intercom yet?” Cloud asked surprised.

“She’s used Morse Code. The only way not to get detected by whatever base they have there,” Sephiroth answered.

“Ha! Fuckin’ brilliant woman,” Barret smirked.

“What did she say?” Vincent asked worriedly.

Sephiroth pulled out the long paper and began translating “Knowlespole. Large army. The End of the World,”

“Large army?!” Tifa cried out.

“The end of the fuckin’ world?!” Barret’s eyes widened “I’ll contact Red. See if he can bring any backup,” 

“I’ll call Yuffie. We could use all the help we can get,” Tifa said, Cloud nodded approvingly, before she grabbed her phone and exited the bridge with Barret.

Cloud turned at Sephiroth. The two friends began talking while Vincent stared outside of the window, standing behind Cid. He crossed his hands against his chest and he sighed heavily. Cid eyed him for a moment before turning his attention back to the horizon that spread in front of them.

“So, you too are pregnant, huh?” He asked and he chuckled “You have no idea what’s awaiting ya,” he shook his head.

“Provided nothing’s happened to her already,” Vincent frowned.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Sephy said his girl’s pickin’ on her vitals. Besides, Joe’s a tough one, like you,” Cid’s one hand reached for his pocket, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and pulling it out.

He was no longer afraid to smoke all he wanted and Shera was no longer scolding at him for it. Jocasta’s new serum worked wonders on his lungs and wherever else the smoke brought damage. He grabbed another cigar and lighted it up and started puffing it.

“Ya know, before all this shit, she actually came to ma home and talked with Shera. She’d been havin’ a hunch about being pregnant, but boy, was she scared,” Cid said.

“Scared?” Vincent asked. _Why would she?_

“Scared that you’d fuckin’ run off. ‘course, I knew ya wouldn’t, Vinnie,” Cid said and his hand found Vincent’s shoulder again “You’re a good man,”

Vincent felt the tips of his lips quirking up in a smile. There was always something about Cid’s -sometimes- cheery and -sometimes- grumpy attitude that always made things look so much _brighter._ His hand found Cid’s shoulder as well.

“You too, Cid,” Vincent said and Cid chuckled.

“Ya know, after this, we gonna go have a drink away from our women. I need some man’s time,” Cid’s hand reached for the rudder again.

Vincent chuckled “That’d be nice,”

Tifa entered back into the bridge and Cid asked right away “What’s that fuckin’ brat doin’?”

Tifa chuckled “She might be late to the _party_ , but she said she’ll bring her best warriors,”

“Ha! Goddamn kid’s a fuckin’ Queen. I’m almost fuckin’ proud of her,” Cid said.

Tifa raised an eyebrow “ _‘Almost’_?”

“Wouldn’t go that far,” Cid grinned “Aight, Jake come keep an eye on ma bird, will ya?” he motioned at his trainee pilot to come grab the rudder. The younger man in the WRO suit rushed immediately, taking hold of the wheel and Cid stretched his fingers “Y’all go get some rest before the big fight. But for me…” he finished his cigarette and let out a laugh “…I’mma go have some GODDAMN TEA!” 

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

He couldn’t lie down and rest knowing that his wife’s and child’s lives were at risk. Vincent just kept pacing around the room. He could use a drink and at the same time, he didn’t want to because he needed his mind focused. He sucked in a deep breath and he sat back down on the edge of the small bed in his small room.

He looked at the bed. It was so small, yet he and Jocasta would never have a problem sharing it. He hadn’t realized that the _happiest_ moths of his life were those days back then in the Highwind. In the small stuff that they had to deal with, but every night that he’d lie down, he’d lie beside her. She was his _salvation_ from the nightmares that he remembered to have. He fingers on his face, his shoulders, his hands. Her face on his chest, his neck. Her breaths brushing against his skin. The sweet laughter that he knocked out of her a few times. Few, but _good times._ Perfect moments.

Jocasta just clouded everything. He couldn’t remember _loving_ somebody so much. His hands found his face and he sighed against them. His elbows pressed against his thighs as he pulled his hands back and he looked at the metallic wall of his room blankly. _Two hours._

So many things could happen in two hours. So many things could go wrong in two hours. He sighed heavily again. He tried to imagine how life would be when he’d hold his baby in his hands and he was sure he couldn’t imagine that feeling with accuracy. He couldn’t imagine how that would feel. Holding something that _bore a part of himself and the woman that he loved._ He couldn’t lose that. He couldn’t lose her. It made more than sense to risk anything for having that. His own life mattered so little when he tried to compare it with hers.

He lied down on the bed and stared at the ceiling of the ship. Its engines roared but as loud as the Highwind’s used to. It was an advanced model indeed. Cid just kept bettering and bettering his machines yet he still had that old car of his great-granpa’s that almost ruined his wedding. A chuckle reached his throat. Cid’s idea was good. They should gather for a drink after this.

 _The End of the World._ She said in that message and he stormed it around his mind for a couple of times. What did she mean? He couldn’t tell. She had explained her complication in the Project G. How Genesis was one of the test subjects that she had taken upon herself to create even back then. He knew Genesis wasn’t entirely her fault. He knew she didn’t want this _from the very beginning._ Shinra was to blame for the _insane_ scientists that were assigned to fulfill _insane_ orders.

And then Cid’s familiar voice came from the speakers and he jumped right up.

_“Vinnie! We’re fuckin’ there!”_


	103. The End of the World Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Soundtrack and Song for this Chapter:  
> -'After the Explosion' by Fernando Velazquez  
> -'Heroes Fall' by Hidden Citizens and Essa

Jocasta watched as the Genesis Copies prepared the bomb that they were going to cast into the planet and _destroy it all._ She knew the WRO were on their way. She had sent them as briefly as possible what they needed to know. It was probably evening but the temperatures in Knowlespole were always low whenever. She just stood there and waited. There was nothing else that she could do.

“Do you think that I wouldn’t know that you’d contact them?” Genesis’s voice came and she looked up at him from the outside of her cell. “Sephiroth never stands idle especially when it comes to you. You know, he’d talk about you sometimes,”

“Why are you doing this?” Jocasta asked and he turned and looked at her.

“This world hath bringeth me nothing but pain. Why shouldst I treat it any differently?” Genesis asked.

“Dammit, Genesis, you’re in this world! It goes down, you go down with it!” Jocasta tried to reason.

“I tried so hard to keep up with the living,” his fingers clenched into fists he chuckled bitterly “Sweet irony, though. I would’ve been better off with the dead,”

“General! WRO troops have arrived!” One of his soldiers announced.

Genesis turned at the scientists “How much longer will it take?”

“Give us all the time you can get, sir!”

“So be it then. Let the curtains roll. And so, shall the play begin,”

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

A white valley spread beneath them, covered in snow. The Icicle Area rested further away and the Crater still stood in the distance, cold and abandoned. A large building stood below them. The coordinates that Hester had sent them, led them to that place and Cid and the other two Captains of the other two WRO ships, landed on the white, huge valley.

An army was outside, already waiting for them. It made sense that they would. Everybody gathered on the bridge, giving final checks on their weapons. Cid grabbed the microphone and let out his announcement.

“Alright, y’all! This is gonna be one cold-ass assault and hopefully the last one. There’s a fuckin’ jackass down there who wants to end the fuckin’ world. Now, I’ve no fuckin’ idea on how the fuck he’s planning to do that, but I only know one goddamn thing: We can’t let the world end. Not as long as we got our friends, our family…” he looked back at the team. He looked at Vincent and he sighed “…our wives and our children. We fight for **them**! Now, let’s go kick some ass!”

Everybody cheered and threw fists in the air. Vincent, Cloud, Barret, Tifa, and Sephiroth hurried back to bay nine. The hatches opened and the WRO squads rushed out with their weapons in their hands. They all got in their stances and Sephiroth with Cloud took the lead. The Turks with Vincent were going to sneak into the base while Sephiroth and the rest of the WROs were going to keep the Genesis Army busy.

The two armies collided with Sephiroth and Cloud leading on the front. Tifa and Barret were on the WRO tanks firing at the soldiers that came their way. Vincent drew out his guns. Both guns in his hands as he fired at the soldiers that came his way taking them out. Reno whipped out his electric rod and electrocuted every single soldier that came his way, with Rude behind him. Both Turks defending each other’s backs. The younger Turks stayed back to base to keep both the Former President and the Commissioner safe, while Elena was trying to figure out how to get inside the base.

Vincent turned around to fire on the soldier that he had noticed approaching from behind, but he realized that Tseng had already taken him down. Another soldier was going to shoot at Tseng from behind and Vincent’s fast reflexes kicked in as he shot at him. Tseng gave him a silent nod before he set off to side-kick another soldier, knocking his gun off his hands and shooting at him while Vincent defended his back shooting at another soldier that tried to come his way. He passed his foot beneath a soldier’s feet, making him lose his balance and fall. Tseng elbowed him hard on the head, knocking him unconscious.

Tseng whipped out a dagger that he had beneath his sleeve and he turned around and stabbed it right on the neck of another soldier that had been rushing towards them. He pushed out the dagger letting the unfortunate soldier’s blood colour the white snow while trickling out. He shot a couple more, catching Vincent with his eye, while he side-kicked another soldier and elbowed him knocking him unconscious. He recognized these moves. _Veld’s_ moves. He knew that Veld and Vincent were once comrades.

“Chief!” Elena’s voice came from behind while Rude beat down another soldier and Reno defended her back crushing his rod with a sword. Both Tseng and Vincent responded, turning at the younger Turk “We got an opening! Follow me!”

Tseng and Vincent nodded and they approached the other three. “Let’s go,” Tseng ordered and the other three nodded before they rushed through the crowd of people crushing against each other. The Turks shot at whoever tried to approach them, defending each other like a team.

They entered the base, shooting at whoever came their way. It was a large, old building. They tried to make their way upstairs but numerous soldiers got in their way. Elena and Rude started shooting as they made a few steps back downstairs. Tseng and Vincent looked around the base, trying to find other ways to access the upper floors. The building was old. There was no way it had elevators somewhere.

More soldiers came from the other side as well. Genesis came flying from the upper floors and landed on the ground floor with his Genesis Copies all around him. Vincent and Tseng started shooting at the man, but he took out his sword, dodging all the bullets that came his way. More of his soldiers launched over the Turks.

Vincent started firing at the soldiers, along with the rest of the Turks, but he wanted to aim for Genesis. He wanted nothing but to stab him against a wall and watch him bleed to death. He launched towards the younger man and he started firing. Genesis laughed as he dodged his bullets with his sword. Reno shot back at him and he was too busy dodging his bullets, that he didn’t notice Vincent’s hand reaching for his stomach. Genesis let out a gasp, but he whipped the Rapier reaching for Vincent’s arm, to cut it. Vincent moved away fast enough. His fingers tightened around the hold of his gun and he fired a couple more times.

Genesis crushed his sword with Vincent’s long gun. “Where is she?!” Vincent snarled and Genesis gave him nothing but a smirk.

Genesis pulled his sword back and attacked again, crushing his sword with Vincent’s gun a couple of times before Vincent started firing again. The other Turks were taking good care of the soldiers around them. Genesis flew back as a bullet found his shoulders. He grunted and his hand reached for his bleeding shoulder. His hand fisted as he threw a fire blast towards Vincent’s direction. Vincent jumped out of the way immediately.

The fire blast brought down a wall of the building. Vincent jumped back to his feet and started firing again but Genesis was already flying “I have no time to waste here,” he snarled before he flew out of the building from the wall that he’d brought down. He had other things to take care of.

Vincent glared at the _fallen angel_ as he flew with his one black wing all the way back to the battlefield. He wanted to confront Sephiroth, _so it seemed._ One final duel between two _childhood friends._ Vincent turned his attention back on the soldiers that the Turks were fighting with.

He fired at them. A soldier came towards Elena’s way, and she hadn’t noticed him. Tseng shot him right away. Another came from the other side and Vincent shot him, knocking him over.

“We got this, go get the Professor,” Tseng said, and even though he was shooting and beating up people, his voice was calm, his expression composed.

Vincent nodded before he rushed upstairs. He pushed down the stairs whatever remained of the soldiers in the building. He shot at the rest. A couple of bullets came his way once he reached the upper floor. Vincent used a pillar to hide behind. The bullets found the pillar, creating holes into the cement. Vincent fired at the soldiers who were shooting at him. He knocked them down with a couple more bullets before he hurried into the empty building.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Genesis flew all around the battlefield. Soldiers crushed against each other. Bombings resounded, but he could make out one familiar voice through the battle-cries. He looked down at the man that he hadn’t seen for so long. _Sephiroth._ The General of the WRO Army. He was leading well, that much was clear.

Genesis landed in front of him with the Rapier tight in his hands and a bitter smile on his face as he looked at his _old friend._ Sephiroth gripped on the purple stem of the Masamune and got in his stance.

“Genesis,”

“Missed me?”

“Not quite,” Sephiroth noticed his _old friend’s_ bleeding shoulder.

Genesis chuckled “Angeal would scold at us for fighting. He’s always been a peacekeeper. Where did that get him, I wonder?”

“Where’s Jocasta?!” Sephiroth demanded ignoring his words.

“Your father would’ve found her already. No worries. I did not hurt her,” Genesis shrugged “Tell me, old friend. How does it feel to have _parents?”_

“You would’ve known if you hadn’t murdered your own,”

“My parents betrayed me! They accepted for me to become a test subject! You don’t even know how rejection feels! You’ve had _everything,_ Sephiroth! Everything! Hester rejected me for you! The world rejected me and made _you_ a hero! And then _you_ rejected to save _me_! Long enough have I lived in your shadow, old friend,” Genesis snarled as he pointed his red-bladed sword at Sephiroth who was maintaining his stance with a cold expression on his face.

“I’ve heard enough,” he said, before he attacked.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Vincent entered into the control centre. Scientists and Deepground soldiers were already there. He fired at the two soldiers that were left and at the scientists who didn’t seem to respond at the gunfire. They didn’t seem to respond at _all._ They were much like Sephiroth Clones, that back then listened to nothing but their master’s orders. And that was _exactly_ what was going on _now._

“Vincent!” Jocasta’s familiar voice came from the cell that she was in. He looked at her with his eyes wide. She seemed fine. He let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed whatever keys he found in the pockets of the soldiers that he had knocked over and he unlocked her cell. She rushed out and her hands grabbed tightly around his shoulders. She shut her eyes as she buried her face on his shoulder and his hands reached around her right away. He held her tight and buried his face in her shoulder.

He pulled back. His hand found her face “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he asked, alarmingly.

She shook her head “I’m fine,” Her hands found the collar of his coat and she tugged him down to her. His mouth caught hers and the two of them sighed in the kiss as their tongues met and their eyes shut. They kept it brief, though. She pulled back and rushed over the control panels. She looked at the bomb that had already been detonated but Vincent had killed the scientists right before they had the chance to throw it down the hole. She cursed under her breath when she looked at the timer.
    
    
      _02:59, 58, 57, 56…_
    

“What’s going on?” Vincent asked, “You said he wants to end the world, how is he going to do that?”

“He was going to throw this bomb to the centre of the Planet and stop gravity. It’s been detonated… we only got three minutes,” she turned and looked at him.

“How do we stop it?” Vincent asked.

She shook her head “Only Genesis knows. We don’t have enough time. We need to get out of here,” she grabbed his hand and the two of them rushed out of the room.

Vincent noticed people approaching and he grabbed his gun ready to target and fire. But he realized it was just Tseng, Elena, Reno and Rude. They all lowered down their guards.

“Doc! You alive!” Reno cried out cheerfully. He pulled out her quiver, her bow, and her Sais “Thought you could use these,”

Jocasta gave him a smile as she fitted her Sais in their cases, her quiver on her back, and the bow around her shoulders “We need to get out of here, this place is about to explode!”

“Let’s go!” Tseng ordered and everybody rushed downstairs and towards the exit of the building, but they were too late.

The bomb went off. Jocasta felt arms around her. It was Vincent pulling her out of the way of the flames that burst. They were just out of the building. The sky was dark and cloudy. Snowflakes were falling with the intention to lay another layer of snow, but the fire and the impact of the explosion was so big, that it casted them all afar.

And even though, Genesis and Sephiroth were locked in a tense fight, Genesis noticed the flames that came their way and he fell on top of Sephiroth just in time, shielding him from the explosion with his own body. He didn’t know why he had done that. It was an act out of instinct. The flames feasted on the flesh of his back and he screamed in pain, and when the flames wore off, there was nothing but fire, burning people alive. The cries of horror and pain filled the battlefield. Sephiroth pushed his friend off of him and settled him on his lap as he sat on the melted snow.

He looked around him. Soldiers had fallen from both sides. He looked at the distance. More Genesis Copies were rushing towards them. He ignored them. He looked at the burning bodies of the WRO soldiers that had fallen. _His soldiers._ He had failed to lead them. It was the only thought that reached his mind instantly.

And then Sephiroth looked down on his friend as he stared blankly at the dark sky. The snowflakes reached his face. His entire backside burned and aching, but he wasn’t wincing. He wasn’t shaking. He just stared at the sky. Maybe that was because he knew it would be the last time he would get to do that. He coughed harshly, and Sephiroth didn’t know what to do but stare. He didn’t know what to think anymore. Genesis had saved his life. He shook his head. _No._

It shouldn’t have been like this. _No._ Genesis was supposed to be the enemy. He was supposed to be the villain that planned to destroy the Planet. He was supposed to be the reason that Sephiroth turned insane back then in Nibelheim. But _he wasn’t._ He should have accepted that _dumbapple_ back then. He should have helped him, because none of this would have happened if he had. Sephiroth felt guilt as he looked down at his friend. _Childhood_ friend. Somebody who had so much potential to be _good_ and Sephiroth felt guilt because it felt like he was the one who had _let him down._

_“Long have I lived in your shadows,”_ Maybe he was right.

_“All hail Sephiroth, huh?”_ Maybe they were both right. But Sephiroth didn’t want them to feel like this. He had always known there was something special about his existence, but he _never wanted anybody_ to feel inferior to him. He was another _experiment after all._ He wasn’t any more special than them.

“Do you remember…” Genesis started before he felt the metallic taste of his blood on his tongue as it filled his mouth “…back then when… w- when we had none of this?” 

Sephiroth shook his head. He shut his eyes in regret. _Of course,_ he remembered. The first time he had met both Genesis and Angeal, he was a sixteen-year-old _in need of friends._ He had found friends in both. Valuable friends. _Close friends_. He would open up to them. He’d open up to them both and they’d open up to him. There was no _jealousy_ back then. No _competition_ , no _greed_ , no _selfishness_. No one was better than the other. They were _true friends._ It all seemed so long ago. It all seemed like it’s been _forever._ The only time that he enjoyed fighting for Shinra was when he’d fight with _them_.

“No… jealousy, no… competitivity, no… no shadows,” Genesis mumbled.

“I’d go back to those days if I could,” Sephiroth inhaled shakily. A tear slipped down Genesis’s cheek as he nodded.

“I should’ve done things differently,” Genesis confessed his hand reached for Sephiroth’s.

Sephiroth caught his friend’s hand and gave it a squeeze “I should’ve done things different too,” He knew he was dying. One of his best friends was _dying._ He should’ve been the enemy. It felt so much like he was the _enemy_ back then, but _now…_ Now. He didn’t know. Maybe he was a hero? _No._ Maybe he was _lost._ He was lost and no one ever cared to help him _find his way._ He had ignored him. Angeal had ignored him. His parents had ignored him. Jocasta had ignored him too. 

Genesis smiled. His hand gave Sephiroth’s one final squeeze “We’ve had a good time… hadn’t we?”

Sephiroth sucked in a deep breath trying to contain the tears that he couldn’t believe had had “Yeah,”

Then Genesis’s fingers loosened their grasp from around his “Farewell, then… old friend…” his eyes slipped back to the sky “…take care… of **her** ,” and with those last words, he let out his final breath and his hand reached up. It reached for someone else’s. Somebody that came from the sky, and maybe - _just maybe_ \- it was Angeal.

Sephiroth watched as Genesis faded away. He had tears overflowing his upper eyelashes. He knew that Genesis was referring to Hester. _Take care of her._ He would. _He would._

And then he looked at the destroyed building and the bodies that laid around within the flames. People were still fighting. The armies were still crushing against each other. The Genesis Copies were too many. The WRO had fallen. He noticed the lifeless bodies around the destroyed building. He recognized them. _Joe… father… the Turks._ He rushed towards them. He had to defend them. No one would have survived this explosion.

But they couldn’t be gone. _They couldn’t be._


	104. The End of the World Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Songs for this Chapter:  
> -'Immortalized' by Hidden Citizens and Keeley Bumford  
> -'Black Clouds' by Hidden Citizens and Eivør

Jocasta looked all around her. The smell of smoke reached her nostrils and caught her throat and stole her breath away. She coughed. Her hand reached her face, the other clutched on her stomach. Pain radiated from her belly as she landed on it. She didn't care about her head that buzzed. She couldn't hear, she couldn't make out the battle-cries, the bombs that fell all over the place, the gunfire. All she thought about was her baby. Had she lost it? An impact like this could've killed it. Maybe that was the pain that she felt. 

She rolled on her back and she let out a cry of pain. No one was going to hear her. She didn’t care to be heard. She was in _pain_. She was _terrified_. Both her hands clutched in her belly. She touched the blood that had trickled out and coloured her clothes. _No… no, no, no, no…_ Her mind drifted to the worst and the pain was harsh enough to make her eyes water. She shut her eyes putting up with the pain for a minute or two. 

She looked at the other members of the team. Cid, Tifa, Cloud, the Turks. They had all fallen. The explosion had casted them all away. The sky was grey. It was night. The day had ended. Another day of war. The snow had melted, but it was still cold on her back. Her hand fisted around the soil.

Her vision cleared out as she spotted Vincent. He was lying unconsciously with his back on the soil. She looked up. Sephiroth was still fighting. Tseng too was on his feet, shooting endlessly at the soldiers that rushed towards them. The WRO squads were already lying dead on the hard, cold ground. Cloud was holding Tifa's unconscious body. Barret was firing endless bullets in all directions.

Genesis Copies where everywhere with red-bladed swords in their hands, slicing whatever was left of the WRO soldiers and crushing their swords with Sephiroth who was fighting three of them at the time on his own. His men had fallen. Barret was trying to help him fight them off but they were severely outnumbered. 

Jocasta wanted to stand up. She wanted to fight. She wanted to help them, but she couldn't move. She couldn't stand. She could do nothing but crawl close to _him_. Crawl close to Vincent. She winced and writhed and cried out in pain. Her fingers clutched on the hard soil as she rolled on her stomach. She let out another cry of pain. It hurt. _It hurt_. But it didn't matter. She had to reach _him_. She had to know if he was alive or not. He had pushed her out of the way. He had saved her life. She didn’t about their child, though. But she didn't want to know the consequences of him falling in the way. _She didn't_.

She reached him. Another explosion went off nearby. The soil landed on their bodies along with the ashes. Her head buzzed again. Her ears, unable to handle the large sounds. The pain on her stomach worsened as she tried to sit up beside him. She winced and trembled but she made it. She pushed Vincent's unconscious body on her lap and she looked down at him. He had burn marks everywhere.

Her fingers reached for his dusted cheek. A large cut spread across it that had stopped bleeding. His face, pale, unmoving. Her mind wandered to the worst. Her hand cupped his face. She didn't want to check on his pulse. If he was dead, then she'd suffer losing her husband and their child at the same day.

But she cried anyway. She couldn’t lose them both. She _couldn’t._ One hand clutched around her abdomen, the other on his cheek. She pressed her forehead against his and she breathed shakily against his lips. 

She looked at the Genesis Copies that had taken down Sephiroth and Barret. They couldn't stand on their own against so many of them. They were heading for them now. They were rushing with their swords tight in their hands, ready to kill them. _Kill them all._

“Jocasta…” Vincent’s voice barely came out. It caught her attention away from the army that rushed towards them to slaughter them. His hand reached shakily for her cheek. He coughed. Blood slipped out of his mouth and he coughed again. _Harshly_. His body shook. She gritted her teeth. She looked down at him. A large piece of metal was pierced from his back and protruded from his belly. She sobbed. Tears slipped down her cheeks.

“No…” she shook her head.

She refused to believe it. She refused to believe the seriousness of the damage. That piece of metal was large. Large enough to have sliced anything on its way. More tears slipped down her cheeks and she forgot the pain on her abdomen right away. Both her hands found his shirt as she leaned down and wept against his chest. She had lost so much already. How could she bear to lose him? How could she bear to lose them _both_ in the same day?

It was _so unfair. So unfair._ She looked at the army that was only a few steps away. A wave of weakness washed over her. But _no,_ she had to focus on Vincent. She had to focus on saving him and herself and her friends that were lying unconscious with an army on their tail. She tried to think. _Think of a solution_. Think for _anything. Anything_ that would save them. She couldn’t fight. She couldn’t _stand_. The pain was intense. The Genesis Copies, too many. Tears slipped down her cheeks. _Helpless._ For once again in her life she was _helpless._ A feeling she had felt so many times, she _loathed_ it.

“Jocasta…” Vincent’s voice came again and she looked back down at him. His bloody hand reached shakily for her cheek. Her hand reached for his, supporting it on her cheek. Another sob reached her throat. It choked her. Her tears spilled on his face. His thumb brushed warm on her face, wiping her tears. “…focus on me.” He said and she was more than willing to do that.

But there was an entire army of them rushing their way. Her eyes couldn’t help slipping that way, but his hand brought her attention back to him. If this was the end, he wanted to spend it with her. If this was the end, he wanted to be by her side.

“We go down… together…” He tried to let out, but the blood flooded his mouth, and he felt this _weakness_. Weakness that he felt whenever he was losing blood. He knew that feeling. He knew the world was ending. He knew everybody had _fallen_ and it was _now_ their turn.

But she shook her head “I don’t want this to end like that,” she wept.

He shook his head. A tear slipped down his own cheek “I’m sorry that… w- we didn’t get enough time to… to…” another tear slipped down his cheek and _it hurt._ It hurt knowing that there were so many things that they had yet to do. They’d never get to watch their baby grow. They’d never get to spend a lifetime by each other’s side. By their friends’ side. They’d never get to watch Cid and Shera parenting their son, or Sephiroth and Hester be happy, or Cloud and Tifa get married and embrace their own happily ever after. 

He didn’t want it to end that way either. He wanted to spend whatever they had left _with her_. He wanted to spend an _eternity_ with her. But _right now,_ they didn’t have that. _It was so unfair._ They had fought _so many things to get there._ They had just gotten _married_. They had just gotten their happiness back only to have it snatched away _again, and again._ A never-ending circle. Maybe they were indeed _never meant for this_. _Happy Endings do not exist after all._

“With you… it was the happiest I’ve ever been,” His thumb found her lips. His eyes rested on hers, warmly and lovingly. She pressed her forehead against his and her hand reached for his own cheek. He smiled, weakly.

She kissed his thumb. She breathed shakily “Me too, Vincent… I love you,” she shook her head “…I love you so much,” 

“I love you too, Jocasta…” he said and then he noticed a Genesis Copy ready to slice her head off. He pulled her face down against his chest. She didn’t have to watch this. He too shut his eyes and his hands tightened around her.

Her fingers clenched on his shoulders and she nuzzled her face in his neck. He buried his face in her hair and breathed her in one last time. They had been through so many things but when they got married, he expected that… _that’d be it._ That’d be the end. That they would finally have some peace.

And when the news came up that they would become parents… _Oh what wouldn’t he give_ to go back to that day and tell her he loved her once again, because it never really felt enough. She had probably lost their baby _now._ There was nothing else left but to lose each other.

 _Now_ they both shut their eyes and they waited. They waited.

They waited for the end.

_The End._


	105. Home

_“Heed the words of your Queen, brave ninjas of Wutai!”_

_“Long Live the Queen!”_

_“Attack! Defend! Save!”_

_“All Hail Grand Chief Nanaki!”_

She had heard such cries, but she wasn’t quite sure if she had _actually_ heard them or not. Maybe it was a trick of her imagination. But then again, she had ceased having these ever since Omega tore out of her. Then she remembered herself passing out with the tears that had dried on her cheeks, on top of her beloved that she thought she had lost.

It all felt like it was the end. But it _wasn’t_. She knew there was more to it when light entered from her eyelids. Her body ached but she could move. Her fingers moved. Her eyes opened and she found herself in a room. It looked like a hospital. She recognized the beeping sounds of the machines around her right away. Jocasta closed her eyes again. _No._ She couldn’t be alive. She couldn’t have made it. Even if she had, was she supposed to live alone _now_? Was she supposed to move on without him?

Her hand reached for her belly. That’s where the pain came from. She had lost it, hadn’t she? It felt like she had. It felt like she had lost them both. _No._ She didn’t _want to be alive_ after this. She didn’t want to. But the tubes in her hands and the oxygen cables in her nose were keeping her alive and she could barely move. A tear slipped down her cheek as she remembered. She was supposed to be dead. She was supposed to be gone, _with_ _them._

And the rest of the team. Sephiroth, Cid, Hester, Cloud, Tifa, Barret. Had they made it out too? She didn’t want to know. She just shut her eyes and suffered with the thought of having lost them all. _Vincent. Our baby_. _No._ She was supposed to die with them. _“We go down together,”_ that’s how it was supposed to _end_. What was she supposed to do _now?_ Without them?

“Don’t cry, mom,”

She looked up and saw Hester. Hester wasn’t crying. Hester was smiling and it brought her hope. _Hope._ Hester’s hand reached for her cheek and wiped her tears.

“Everybody’s okay, mom,” Hester said as she sat beside her on the hospital bed “Everybody’s okay,” she repeated. It seemed like Jocasta needed to hear it for a second time because she had nearly stopped breathing.

Jocasta inhaled shakily “Vincent… Sephiroth…. Cid-”

Hester chuckled “Vincent had his spleen sliced but I used your serum and nanotech to produce one compatible for him. Your idea worked, mom,”

Jocasta felt relief right away. A laugh found her throat. Her hand found her mouth to suppress the happiness “It did?”

Hester nodded “And as for you…” her hand found Jocasta’s on her belly “…you’ve experienced just a small haemorrhage and a few broken ribs. Other than that, the little one’s fine,”

 _Relief._ More tears slipped down her cheeks but this time it was happiness. Her shoulders relaxed. Her head rolled back on the pillows and she sighed. _Everything was okay._ Everything was going to be okay _now._ Her fingers spread on her belly and she let out another sob. _Everything is going to be okay now._ She had to repeat it a couple of times. It was so hard to believe it. It was all over. _It’s all over._

“And as for the others, they’re recovering in their rooms,” Hester informed her. Jocasta tugged on her hand urging her to lean down for a hug and she did.

Hester smiled as she buried her face on her mother’s shoulder. Her hands tightened around her. “Thank you, Hester…” Jocasta wept on her shoulder “…thank you so much,”

“You gave your life for me…” Hester pulled back and stared down at her mother “…I guess now we’re even,” they both chuckled.

“Ya know, me and Nanaki helped too,” Yuffie’s voice came from behind.

A twenty-year-old. It was amazing to think of how fast she had grown up. Hester pulled back and both Jocasta and her daughter chuckled. Yuffie was dressed in yellow and orange. An orange tank top that exposed some of her belly, and yellow shorts. Even though Winter was near and even though _now_ she was a Queen, she never seemed to let go of her clothing habits.

“It was EPIC! You should’ve seen me rushing in with my elite ninja army! I trained them myself, you know! And then my speech! I’ve been working on it on my way to Knowlespole,” Yuffie laughed “Nanaki brought lots of his pals too but not as impressive as mine, of course,” she smirked, her hands found her waist.

“Thanks, Yuffie. Where is Nanaki?” Jocasta asked.

“Catchin’ up with Barret, apparently. Tifa and Cloud are probably smoochin’ right now and I passed outside of Cid’s room a couple of minutes ago. Shera was there scoldin’ at him for almost dying,” she shrugged “Meh, the usual,” then her phone rang and she flipped it open, frowning for a moment “Queen duties, gotta go,” Yuffie said before she walked out of the room and answered the phone.

Hester rolled a wheelchair that was already standing at the corner of the room. She reached for Jocasta’s wrists, pulling out the cables and the tubes that she had attached to her veins, carefully.

“C’mon, let’s get you to your man so that I can go back to mine,” Hester said as she helped Jocasta stand and settle on the wheelchair. Jocasta let out a wince. She had broken ribs _indeed_ and a few bandages were tied around her, but other than that, the pain wasn’t too harsh to handle. She had handled way worse.

Hester took her back to Vincent’s room down the hall of the Mideel Hospital. He wasn’t awake her, but the machinery around his bed beeped steadily. Hester helped her sit on his bed. He was lying on his back. He was resting. His body was covered in bandages, mostly around his waist and his belly. He needn’t have to wear a shirt. But he was wearing black sweatpants beneath though he was covered waist down by the sheets of the hospital bed.

His face was peaceful. He was asleep. Some of his scarred chest and hands were exposed on top of the white sheets. Jocasta sat beside him on the bed. Her hand reached for his pale face. He was breathing. He was alright. Thanks to her daughter. He was _alright._ Jocasta turned at Hester with parted lips, ready to let out all of the words of gratitude that she could think of, but Hester spoke first.

“No need to thank me. He may not be awake yet, but he’d be glad to find you beside him when he will,” Hester said. She left the wheelchair there and she walked out of the room, leaving them alone.

Jocasta smiled and then she turned her attention back at Vincent. There wasn’t much space left beside him, but it was enough. She let out another small wince as she lied down beside him, with her head on his bare shoulder and her body facing his. She smiled up at him as she pressed a kiss on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Her hand found his and she laced their fingers together. She closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh.

She was going to wait for him to wake up and tell him the good news. She chuckled. They thought this was the end back in the battlefield. But maybe _it wasn’t._ Maybe they had a different ending awaiting them and she was glad that it was a _happy one._ She was glad. She was _happy._

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

Her hand found Sephiroth’s cheek. His mind had been elsewhere ever since he’d woken up. He had told her what happened. She turned his attention back at her and she gave him a smile. His crimson-brown eyes met hers and he let out a sigh. She had been sitting on his hospital bed. A couple of bandages were tied around him and his hair was trapped between his head and the white pillow.

“Hey…” she said softly “…it wasn’t your fault,”

“I let him down,”

“You didn’t,”

“I let all those people down,” He repeated.

She knew he was talking about the WRO soldiers that have been killed. He was talking about Genesis too. She knew he felt all of that guilt and she wanted nothing but to help. She leaned in and pressed a kiss on his forehead and she heard him sighing as he pressed his forehead against her chest and her hands slipped in his hair, caressing him softly. His hands reached around her and he closed his eyes. 

“You know the casualties of war. You know them first hand, Seph. Maybe things were tricky with Genesis and maybe nobody treated him as we should. But you could’ve died with them and you didn’t. Mom and Dad and our little sibling could’ve died, but they didn’t either,” She pulled back and her hand found his cheek as she caught his eyes with hers “You came back to me. He saved you so that would. He saved you so that we could get our chance to finally move on,”

His hand found her cheek and his nose brushed against hers. His fingers spread down her neck, warm and tender, as he stared up at the woman that he’d always dearly loved.

“You’re right,” Sephiroth said.

His lips quirked up in a smile before he guided her face closer to him and met her lips with his. He sighed while he kissed her. She was right. They had the chance to move on. Her palms pressed flat on his bare chest when his tongue found hers, warm and sweet, and tender. His lips just lingered on hers, and when they pulled back, she buried her face in his neck while he held her tightly. His lips found her temple and he could even _feel_ her smiling.

ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ꕥ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ

The moment he opened his eyes and regained his senses, he felt a familiar body pressing against his. He felt a familiar weight on his shoulder. There was a pain on his stomach, and he let out soft grunt, but he silenced himself right away when he noticed her beside him. Jocasta had taken hold of his hand and her head nuzzled on his shoulder. He was in a hospital. That much was clear. And she was there. She had her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face.

She was _okay._ He didn’t know about their baby, but she was okay. She was breathing. Both her hands were wrapped around one of his. She had settled in the little space that was left on his bed. Another day had ended. The orange light of the dusk barely snuck beneath the clouds and entered from the window.

She noticed movement and she opened her eyes meeting those crimson, flickering orbs of his own. The expression on her face softened right away. She smiled. Her hand reached for his cheek.

“Vincent…” he smiled upon the sound of his name from her. Her smile was wide and bright, and _hopeful._ She propped herself on her elbow with a small wince, and he too winced to move aside, and give her some space “…you’re awake!”

“How-”

“Yuffie and Nanaki…” Jocasta laughed “…you can say they _saved our asses_ ,”

He let out a laugh. He couldn’t keep it back. He thought that their _ending_ was going to come with _death_ but maybe - _just maybe_ \- they were meant for _more_. Because every time something would be thrown at them, they would throw it back. They would deal with it and they would _move on._ They were _so good_ at moving on, so long as they had each other.

Her hand reached for his and brought it on her belly. His hand snuck beneath her shirt and touched her skin. His fingers spread, warm on her scarred skin and she laughed happily.

“It’s alive, Vincent. Our baby’s alive. We’re all okay,” She said, excitedly, happily. She was all those things. Her smile, bright, just like his.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding “Thank goodness,”

He thought things were going to end back then in that battlefield. But _that_ wasn’t the end. _This_ was the end. A _happy end._ He was _indeed_ going to spend the rest of his life with her and their child. The mere idea made his heart flutter. He looked up at her. Her brown hair hung from her shoulders. Her hazel eyes met his and her smile… _her smile_ was the most beautiful thing on her.

His hand found her face and he guided her further down to him. His eyes stared up at her lovingly and she stared down at him, and her hands pressed on his chest. His other hand slipped around her and snuck beneath her shirt and found her back. He pulled her closer.

His lips reached out for hers and she kissed him, and his fingers brought her face closer. Her hands found his shoulders and their chests were brought together, close enough to feel his heart beating on the same rhythm as hers. They sighed when their tongues met and their eyes shut closed. He brought her closer and when they pulled from the kiss, her face nuzzled in his neck and her eyes closed. She felt his lips pressing a soft kiss on her forehead as he buried his face in her hair and sighed against them.

“I really thought this was the end,” He admitted and she pressed a kiss on the skin on his neck.

“I think it takes so much more to take us out,” She said and they both chuckled.

“It does,”

And it took a moment of silence. His fingers caressed her bare shoulder, and her hand around his waist tightened slightly, but not enough to hurt. He just smiled and stared out of the window. Clouds had gathered and Yuffie’s voice came excitedly.

“It’s snowing! It’s snowing!”

 _Snowing? In Mideel?_ That was a first _indeed_. Jocasta couldn’t fight the curiosity. They both couldn’t. They stepped out of bed with a few winces and a few laughs and a few curses and they hurried over the small balcony that every single room in the hospital had.

They looked up at the grey puffy clouds that started unleashing snow. White snowflakes reached their heads and landed on their hair. Jocasta and Vincent looked at the other balconies nearby. Tifa and Cloud were standing on one of them. Cloud’s hand was around her while they looked up. Cid and Shera were too staring in wonder at the sky, along with Barret on a wheelchair with Marlene on his lap. Nanaki’s smile was wide as he glanced over at Denzel and Yuffie that had their mouths wide open waiting for the snowflakes to land on their tongues. Sephiroth and Hester were on another balcony close to the Turks.

Tseng had a bandage around his forehead and Elena was beside him. His arm was around her as she rested her head against his shoulder. Even Tseng was _almost_ smiling. Jocasta was sure that Reno was somewhere inside _teasing_ the nurses and Rude was watching over him should he try to do anything stupid.

Jocasta laughed happily and her head rolled back on Vincent’s shoulder. She looked up at those perfect lips of his, curling up in a smile that she loved seeing on his face and she bit her lip.

“What now, Mr. Valentine?”

He looked down at her and his nose brushed against her cheek. His hand tightened around her “Now, Mrs. Valentine, we go home,”


	106. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby names by @AnimeLover20  
> Recommended Soundtracks for this Chapter:  
> -'The Last Stand' by John Powel (from X-Men: The Last Stand OST)  
> -'Unchained Melody' by Alex North (from Unchained OST)  
> -'Finale' by David Newman (From Tarzan OST)

**Seven Months Later**

“Vincent!”

He didn’t know how fast he had dropped down his guns and the bullets that he had been sorting out on the table in front of him, or how fast he’d tossed the glasses -that he’d started wearing the last couple of weeks- but he knew he nearly stumbled on his feet. His hands reached for the wall trying to keep himself standing, before he hurried right away for the bathroom. Was it the day? _The_ day?! _Now?!_ They had been expecting _that day_ to arrive.

His eyes wide, as they stared at her significantly bigger belly with her hands clutching on it. His hand reached immediately for his pocket, grabbing his phone. “Should I make _the_ call?!”

“Yes! Hurry!”

His fingers trembled as he pressed the buttons and dialled a number “Shalua! It’s _the_ day,”

_“Copy that, Chief!”_

He snapped the phone closed and tossed it in his pocket. He hurried towards her. She was wearing a pink gown, comfortable enough for her belly. He passed a trembling hand around her and helped her stand and walk. Jocasta let out groan of pain. Her hand clutched on her belly.

“Deep breaths, sweetheart, deep breaths!” Vincent encouraged. She could tell he was _freaking out_ more than she did. He grabbed the keys. His hand shook as he unlocked the car and opened the door letting her in.

She sat on the backseat of his car. Her hand found his face, catching his attention “I need you to calm down, Vince…” she sucked a few deep breaths “…we can do this,”

He wasn’t expecting to be so _frightened._ But she was in pain, and every single grunt, groan, wince, hiss, scream, was _killing_ him and he knew those things hadn’t even started yet. He bit back his fears and the panic and he nodded at her.

“We can,” He closed the door and hurried over the driver’s seat. He plugged in the keys and switched on the engine. He could tell he was sweating but maybe that was because it was summer, and the summer’s high temperatures _weren’t helping at all!_ “Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic…” he mumbled endlessly as he drove carefully, but hastily towards Mideel.

“I’m not… panicking,” Jocasta said between deep breaths, and then her head rolled back and she let out a loud cry that had him shaking to the core.

He looked back at her through the mirror “I’m saying it for myself,”

She let out another loud groan that made him grit his teeth as if he was sensing the pain himself. He felt so bad knowing that he had caused this to her. He was sure he’d stopped breathing at some point. _Keep it together, Valentine._ He had to scold at himself. He had to be _strong._ He’d been through so many things. _Demons_ that once tormented his mind daily, _wars_ that he had fought. The _blood of his enemies_ that he had killed with his own hands. _Horrendous_ monsters that he had faced, but _this… This_ was just _terrifying._

Jocasta was breathing hard, and crying out, and clutching on the seats, until they finally reached the clinic, and Hester with Shalua, along with other nurses were already waiting outside with a wheelchair. They all helped her sit on the wheelchair and the nurses hurriedly took her inside with Vincent, Hester and Shalua rushing from behind.

“I’ve called the team. They’ll be here in a couple of hours,” Hester informed them while the six of them hurried into the clinic’s halls.

Shalua grabbed blue gloves, a mask and a hat from a nearby counter of the room that they had just entered, and slammed them on Vincent’s chest. “Wear these,”

Vincent put on the gloves and the mask and then he looked at the hat frowning. He was going to be looking _ridiculous_ in it.

Shalua noticed the hesitation and she shot him a glare “It’s for the hair and you got plenty,” she snarled.

Vincent nodded. Another cry came from Jocasta as they settled her on a Hospital bed and he felt his heart beating loudly in his ears. He put on the hat and he hurried beside her. The woman gynaecologist hurried in front of her. Jocasta’s hand grasped Vincent’s and squeezed. _Thank goodness,_ he’d given her the left arm which was artificial and couldn’t feel pain. His other hand reached for her hair, pushing them away from her sweaty forehead.

It was _tense._ Of all the things that they’d done in their lives, that one was the most _difficult_. Those shouts, and those screams, all that panting and heavy breathing, it made him feel guilt and _guilt_ again, and _again._ But when it was over and came the _crying_ and the grasp around Vincent’s fingers loosened and her expression softened. Vincent drew in a breath after realizing that he had almost stopped breathing. _Maybe that’s why I felt like fainting._

“A healthy little girl,” The doctor said before the nurses handed the baby to Jocasta, clean and tucked into a small purple blanket. She had stopped crying and _now_ her eyes were closed as she nuzzled into the blanket.

Jocasta held her with a few more tears slipping down her cheeks. They knew it’d be a girl but it felt so much different _holding_ her. Holding something that was _theirs._ Something that held a part of both. _Their daughter._ They had a daughter. The most beautiful little girl. Jocasta thought she’d never have this. When Tedric died she’d lost all hope, and especially when Hojo conducted those experiments on her. Especially when she bore a demon in her very body. After all those times that she thought _her end would be one in a battlefield,_ but in the end, it wasn’t. _This was_ the end. With their daughter in her hands, and tears of happiness on her cheeks.

She turned and looked at Vincent and he was crying too. He too thought he’d never have this. _A daughter._ One with the woman that he _loved genuinely so much_ he couldn’t even fathom it or calculate it or put it into words. How can anybody put such feelings into words? The tears just slipped down his cheeks and he couldn’t discriminate the difference between the _happiness, the gratitude, the love, the excitement._ Feelings so beautiful and so tense. _Fulfilment_ being one of them, and he never thought he’d have that. He never thought he’d get a family of his own. He had been searching for a meaning in his life for so long and _now_ he had this. He had a wife. He had a daughter. A beautiful little girl that just gazing upon her made his heart melt and his eyes water.

He never thought he’d have these. He never thought he was even worthy of _all these._ So… _so much._ He had everything _now._ He sat on the bed and Jocasta’s back rested on his chest and she turned and looked at him and he saw the _happiness_ in her eyes. Her forehead found his and she finally caught his attention.

“We did it,” she said and it came out with a sob because he knew what she was talking about.

He still remembered the first time they had met back in Shinra Manor. He still remembered that day that he had cried on her shoulder upon hearing about the experiments on Lucrecia. He remembered those days, those weeks that they spent on the Highwind, sleeping beside each other because even back then _-even at the very beginning-_ they were each other’s _relief, and salvation, and completion._ He remembered holding her tightly every night ever since, and when things went wrong and they were brought apart, _everything_ had gone _wrong_ without her.

But _now_ she was here. _Now_ they were married. _Now_ they were holding their baby together. His hand reached for her. His fingers, shaking. He trembled in fear. He didn’t know how to handle _her._ He had never done this before. He had never held a baby, _especially one that was his own._ So beautiful and so fragile, and _he had been a monster_ and had no idea how to hold her.

Jocasta chuckled at his hesitation. She had no idea how to hold her either until a few seconds ago. “Just be sure to support her head,” she instructed softly, before she placed her in his arms and she was sure that _he was about to have a breakdown_. His hands trembled for a moment, but he managed to pull it together. He did as Jocasta had told him and supported their baby’s head on his forearm.

She opened her little eyes, a beautiful, flickering crimson. _Just like her father’s_. Jocasta’s hand reached for his face and wiped his tears that wouldn’t stop streaming down his cheeks. He chuckled happily. The little baby shifted closer to him, pressing her little forehead on his shirt and closing her eyes again, to go back to sleep. His heart fluttered. His tears, numerous. It was as if she had sensed him. Everything around him faded and all that he could see was her. His little girl.

Jocasta let out another chuckle between the sobs, and before she even knew it, his lips were on top of hers, and his tongue was in her mouth and she welcomed it. _She had given him this._ She had given him a _meaning._ She had given him love. She had given him all that happiness that he never thought he was worthy of. He couldn’t put into words how much he loved her, but maybe kissing her would _explain_ at least a part of what he felt. Even if it was only just a small part.

They pulled back to catch their breath, and her lips found his cheeks, kissing away those tears of happiness that still lingered there and he sighed and closed his eyes and his forehead found hers. She closed her eyes as well and her forehead slipped away from his till her head rested on his shoulder.

“We did it,” He said with a broken chuckle. It was almost unbelievable to think about it.

After all those things that they had been through, they were finally _there._ They were finally at this part of their lives. He handed her back their baby, and his hands slipped around her. He held Jocasta tightly as he back rested on his chest and her head rolled on his shoulder, both gazing down at their baby. Jocasta giggled.

“We haven’t thought of any names,” She said and his lips found her forehead, pressing a kiss against it and she smiled.

“It must be something special,” Vincent said and they both sighed for a moment as they stared down at their little daughter.

A moment of thinking passed. It should be something special _indeed._ Their entire story was built on _hope._ Because every time something happened, all that _kept_ them fighting was _hope._ Maybe it should be something that _means hope._

Before Jocasta could get the chance to part her lips and make a suggestion, their door opened and a couple of people walked in. It was the team. Yuffie pointed a finger at Vincent, her hand clutched on her stomach, as her head rolled back and she started laughing. It was the reminder that he needed to know that he was still wearing that blue hat Shalua had given him. He frowned and took it off right away, receiving a glare from Shalua who was standing behind Hester and Sephiroth.

Sephiroth and Hester approached. Barret, Cloud and Tifa were behind with Marlene and Denzel. The hurried to take a look at the baby, with their eyes wide in wonder. Shera was holding Cid Junior in her arms while Cid laughed happily from behind with a toothpick rolling on his lips. Reeve was wearing another _interesting outfit_ that made Vincent raise an eyebrow, but he did not comment on it.

Jocasta handed the baby to Hester and she brought up, close to Sephiroth. The two of them stared down at their little sibling with their smiles wide. Cid approached with his smile wide.

“What a gorgeous lil’ fella! I’mma make him the greatest fuckin’ pilot in the entire Gaia!” Cid said chuckling.

“It’s a girl,” Shera elbowed him.

“Oh right!” Cid rubbed his nape “Then she’s gonna become the most fuckin’ bright rocket scientist!”

Yuffie rushed towards the baby “No, no, no, no! Auntie Yuffie’s gonna make her the fiercest ninja Wutai has ever seen!”

Sephiroth chuckled “ _Obviously_ , sword-fighting suits her better,”

“I second that statement,” Cloud agreed.

“My little sis isn’t going to become some uneducated warrior! Some Weapon Engineering would suit her perfectly,” Hester said as she stared down at her little sister with a wide smile.

“Boo!” Yuffie cried out “Boring!”

“For once, I agree,” Sephiroth said at the ninja who smirked.

“How about we let her do whatever she wants?” Barret suggested.

“I agree,” Tifa said “Ooh! Have you thought of names?” she turned at Vincent and Jocasta who were both sitting on the hospital bed.

“Actually, we were looking for some,” Jocasta said.

“Ooh! Ooh! Lemme suggest!” Tifa said excitedly “There’s Aurora, Charity, Dawn, Kiara, Lucia, Vera, Chiara, Alina, Thea, then there’s Valencia, Amari, Nadia…” she started counting with her fingers and Hester raised an eyebrow.

“That’s an awful lot of names you got there,” Hester pinpointed.

Tifa chuckled nervously before she and Cloud shared a look. Cloud nodded before turning at the rest of the team “Like Cid says, _we’re_ pregnant too,”

Hester and Sephiroth didn’t seem very much surprised. They must’ve already known. But all the rest let out cheers and cries and _congrats._ A few hours of fumbling through names passed, until they reached their decision. _Laelynn._ It suited her. _It meant hope._ The team left, agreeing to let the couple and the baby, rest.

The nurses took Laelynn away, and Jocasta lied back down on the bed with her eyes closed and a contented sigh. She felt weight on the bed, as Vincent lied beside her. She shifted close to him, letting his hand slide beneath her. His other hand found her waist. Her palms pressed flat on his chest as their bodies faced each other and her nose nuzzled in his neck.

She was smiling. A big, _bright_ smile. She could even _feel_ him smiling too. She felt the weight of his cheek against her hair. His lips found her temple, laying a soft kiss there. His hand found her face. His thumb brushed warm against her cheek, and caught her chin between his fingers. He guided her face up to him. His eyes caught hers and her nose brushed against his.

It was still unbelievable. It was still hard to believe that _it was over. It’s over._ All that _pain, and that guilt, and those wars, and those fights._ Those feelings of _hopelessness_ and _helplessness._ It was all over. This story… _their_ story, _is over._ And it ended like _that,_ with the woman that he loved in his arms, and their baby that they were going to love with everything that they had. Maybe they were - _indeed-_ meant for this. For _this, and so much more._ There’s still _hope_ in the end.

He brought their foreheads together, and they closed their eyes, sighing. He was going to hold her forever.

_~The End~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoah, it's been a long ride, hasn't it? I wanna thank everybody who's read all these chapters of this extra huge and boring fic 🤣🤣 
> 
> I hope you liked it! Drop a Kudo and a Comment to lemme know what you guys think! 
> 
> Love y'all!!!  
>  ~Sandy

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Please drop 'em Kudos if you liked it!!


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